November 21st - What does a "broken" person let go of?

The story...

I did my best, created a comfortable home, and tried to help those in my care to be their best.  Then something upset the game board - other people's games and the circumstances of life.  The tokens, pegs, fake money and cards were strewn about - the game of life no longer worked - it was moving in directions that I didn't plan for or expect.  There had to be a better way. 

A friend recommended that I meet with a group of people who may help me turn life's chaos into a new and better way of living.  I'm so thankful that I "Zoomed" into my first virtual meeting with them. They taught me that their efforts to fix, manage, and control other people's live is fruitless and harmful.  The only person who I was capable of changing was me.  I learned much in the first year and lived a better way the second year.  I live a different life now, respecting relationships, allowing those I have the pleasure to know the dignity to live out their own lives.  I more fully trust God, and bear more fruit that both I and others enjoy.  I'm living a more humble/honest life walking more closely to our present and eternal reality.  My more trusting and open relationships enable a wonderful sort of pilgrimage towards the Celestial City together - trusting God.  It's the good stuff that eluded me during my early and working years.  Strangely, I'm soo... thankful for the brokenness that upset my boat, knocked down my house of cards, and helped me trust God.

The only church in town will be comprised of people in all stages of life.  They'll learn about the reality of life together.  Each person will have a different personality, and when together, will form a group personality too.  The personality of the group will reflect their "head" - their Lord.

Just for today...

"Some people don't know how badly they need a new way of life until disaster overtakes them."  One Day at a Time (p. 326)

"Today I know that I can't fix anyone else but myself, and I challenge myself daily to seek a richer, more meaningful life. I'm taking risks, facing fears, making changes, speaking up, making myself available to life."  Courage to Change (p. 326)

November 20th - Why listen to, or share, uncomfortable realities about me?

The story...

"What's my husbands name? . . . Do you even know how many kids I have? . . . Do you care? . . . It's all about you."  This was the stinging message that I heard from one of my trusted reports.  She was making the claim that I cared for what she could produce and not truly for her as a person.  Whoa . . . the facts were clearly true . . . but wasn't the workplace suppose to be about work, accomplishment, and my objectives?  Wait, I meant to say "our" objectives - or did I?  As a supervisor, I wasn't suppose to get too close or have favorites - was I?  I could've justified my behaviors but it didn't sit well - I knew she was speaking "her" truth.   Was it possible to be the same good man in all of my endeavors?

Surely there were good examples out there - real people who still had their skin on 'em - not merely a glorified biography of the ideal.  Then, a guy was transferred to my department.  His current supervisor suggested that I witness his performance appraisal delivery.  I was surprised to see a virtuous man, honestly and respectfully, delivering his performance assessment along with their mutual understanding of their working relationship.  Wow ... I wanted to be more like him.  That good man, leader, and friend of many, died a few years later from cancer - another life circumstance that didn't seem fair.

The only church in town will be built on relationships - less-guarded and honest relationships.  Yet, we can't realistically expect to relate well with everyone or even most people.  We're all different and most are operating in a different stage of life.  The community will be okay and respect all people as they "be."  Yet, they'll all share within a better way - trusting in God.

Just for today...

"Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want  to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations."  George Bernard Shaw

"What about those times when I heard truths about myself that left me feeling angry, embarrassed, or upset? When given the occasion to hear or speak an uncomfortable reality, I have choices. I can hear it and grow, I can share it and grow, or I can ignore it in favor of maintaining my comfort zone."  Hope for Today (p. 325)

November 19th - Am I a good actor or character in this game of life?

The story...

My career may've chose me - I practiced the habits, and developed the personality, to explain my perspective and win agreement.  My work practices, tools, and change management success carried over into other areas of my life too.  I became more: illustrative; flamboyant in my story telling; better at painting commonly-understood mental images; succinct in posing the right question(s); and consistent in behaving according to my expected behavior.  Sometimes, the desired perspectives were those of the organization that I was part of and not necessarily my own.

The burden of working out my life, wearing different hats, took its toll.  The incongruity between my inner-man and the roles that I accepted was bothersome - dissatisfaction with parts of life.  My life was not characterized as peaceful - more like a never ending quest to model good behavior - be the best that I could be - measure up.  So, I planned the long and arduous process of earning my PhD - "then life would be great."  It was a good life change completed over 10 years and experienced over another 10 years.  I learned and grew much through my studies, research, dialog, enlarged mental models, building onto and protecting my share of the body of knowledge, teaching, and mentoring.  Yet, my inner-man needed something more.

A period of brokenness helped me wake up and see my strife and struggles more clearly - I needed help.  I accepted an offer for help and joined others who were also more-honestly becoming better people.  The lessons learned and applied were wonderful - I truly love(d) all those people that I grew with.  My life became more congruent, peaceful, restful, thankful, engaging, and honest too.

The only church in town will be a place where you'll hear about a better way to be.  You'll, meet those who are growing in a similar way and stage of life.  Over time, a few of those people may even become truly good friends who you can openly and honestly grow with.  Friends like that aren't required to live a good life yet I wouldn't give 'em up without a fight.  True, they must be held loosely or it likely isn't true friendship.  Honestly seeking to understand, before being understood, is a good first step toward developing those good friendships.

Just for today...

Do you want to fix them for your own personal comfort or honestly for them?

If you wouldn't want somebody to say "it" to you then don't say "it" to anyone else.

November 18th - "My life was mostly good - I'm thankful for that."

The story...

A close friend of mine met my mother in her independent-living home in November 2023.  I introduced him to her and they settled down to a one-hour conversation about her life past and present - him in a chair and her laying comfortably in bed.  It was a great joy listening to my mother describe her life - mostly good but there was bad stuff too.  She shared her hope that her kids, grand kids, and great-grand kids would go to church.  Her greatest pain was the loss of her husband in 2011 - she described how she missed him every day.  They lived a good life and that made her happy.  The surprises and joys, in her current life, were centered around the different people that cared for her and met her needs.  "I never was around people like that, I really like them and some of them feel like friends."  That was her unexpected joy - she thought that relationships like those might be why she lived so long.

The only church in town will ideally be kinda like that independent-living home.  There will be some paid staff doing their jobs yet most of the caring and loving will be shared between each other.  People living out their lives and faith, aligned with God's Word, together.  The love my mother felt at the independent-living center surprised me every time I visited.  

What if we spent more time with the folks at church?  We might be surprised at the love we witness, receive and even offer to others.  Many of us are clunky and different so it might appear in unexpected and surprising ways.  Love experienced is worth it.

Just for today...

"If I can see nothing but my troubles, I am seeing with limited vision. Dwelling on these troubles allows them to control me. Of course I need to do whatever foot-work is required, but I also need to learn to let go."  Courage to Change (p. 323)

"When I'm uncommunicative or dishonest in my interactions, I set myself apart and feel rejected. Conversely, open, truthful communication nurtures feelings of trust and encourages me to participate fully in life. However, as I begin to change my old habits, fear of rejection sometimes tempts me to respond in old ways."  Hope for Today (p. 323)

November 17th - Why serve others?

The story...

I was asked to serve on the Child and Family Services governing board within my county.  The person who asked me wanted to ensure that this large receiver of public funds was not duplicating services and that the services they rendered were effective.  I didn't know what I was getting into and learned much over my four years of service.  First, I learned about the organization's services, structure, processes. and the board member roles too. Then, I enjoyed working with my fellow volunteers, the paid non-profit leaders, and some of the actual service providers as well.  During my last year, I chaired the board and presented our funding request to the United Way.  I asked for the largest contribution that was requested that year - the request was approved.  The experience was great - I'm a better person because of it - I'm thankful to all involved.  There are so many people that care deeply for the social services within community - they're good.

What motivated me to serve within the workplace, community, or the church?  Was I seeking affirmation regarding my virtue or capabilities?  Was I looking for the admiration and acceptance of the group(s)?  Was I looking for awards or trophies?   Was I building a well-rounded resume?  Did I want to be counted as a good versus bad character in the "game of life?"  Was I trying to absolve my previously committed sin?  Was it a latent need to win my parent's approval?  Was I ashamed to say no?  Was I trying to be a good boy?

The workers within the only church in town will have a need for volunteers and service.  The noblest of motives will be offered yet people will say yes according to a variety of reasons.  We'll all likely be thankful for the unexpected joy of being a bit less self-centered - actually serving and loving others.  That's some of the unexpected real-good stuff in life - "fruit."

Just for today...

"When I feel the call to service, I pray for knowledge of God's will for me to make sure it's not just me wanting to manipulate, control, or avoid something going on in my life."  Hope for Today (p. 322)

"...sometimes the most competent and helpful assert themselves over-strongly and so engender hostility in others . . . We penalize ourselves when we allow disapproval of another person to endanger the unity of the group."  One Day at a Time (p. 322)

November 16th - God help me!

The story...

When my soul ached with hurt, pain, and sadness.  The kind of pressure that slowly built up until it felt like a balloon under pressure - it had to be released before it might burst.  I learned that I sometimes needed to express my pain, strong emotions, and request for relief aloud - I mean really loud.   This meant that I needed to be alone in the house, deep in the woods on a hike, or even by myself at the end of our pier that juts out into Lake Michigan.  I let my pain rip and prayed earnestly, and loudly, for resolution, grace, mercy, justice, or healing.  My outward expression of my inner condition seemed right and good - the crying out often left me feeling more peaceful, content and thankful.

The only church in town will cry out to the Lord in times of distress and need - scripture says He hears and has the power to act according to what's best for each person and community too (Psalms 119:169; 142:1; Matthew 20:30; Acts 7:60; and Hebrews 5:7).  He wants us to pray even though He doesn't really need us to - it's something about our relationship.  The only church in town will cry out in thankfulness and praise as they see God's faithfulness and love worked out.

Just for today...

"It seems strange, when I think of it, that God is most vivid to my consciousness when I am in the depths of despair, and all I can say to Him is: 'God help me!'"  One Day at a Time (p. 319)

"You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might pray also in the fulness of your joy."  Kahlil Gibran: The Prophet

November 15th - Love and respect requires cycles of restoration

The story...

I watched the Netflix series about the book Anne of Green Gables.  The book's a classic for a reason - the story teaches us much about life. The protagonist, Anne, writes and prints an article for her school newspaper about justice and fairness.  She tries to make amends with a girl who takes offense with the article - it damaged her reputation.  The girl cuttingly says something like: "How could a person of a trashy upbringing like you know anything about fairness and justice?"  Anne thoughtfully and respectfully responded that she was the same person now as she was then.  She was worthy of love then and now - she always knew she deserved love but didn't experience it.

"Ann with an 'E'" - Netflix series/

The only church in town will practice love and respect according to the grace and mercy that God the Father so freely gives us in the Lord Jesus the Christ.  Every man, woman, and child may experience love and respect.  Will church discipline's be necessary when self-centered people hurt each other?  The discipline would be thoughtfully delivered along with love and respect - the aim would be to practice justice and fairness.  Cycles of forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration will be ongoing as, people who tend to be selfish, walk together towards the same destination.  The congregates will be thankful that God loves them, His creatures, and sustains them with grace, mercy, love and forgiveness.

Just for today...

"I realized that the look, tone, or mood of another person toward me often has nothing to do with me . . . my extreme sensitivity is a form of conceit - I think I am the focus of everyone's actions. Am I so important that everything that goes on around me must have something to do with me? . . . what other people did and said reflected on them; what I did and said reflected on me."  Courage to Change (p. 320)

"It's not men's acts which disturb us - but our reaction to them. Take these away and anger goes. No wrong act of another can bring shame on you."  Marcus Aurelius

"When I feel a call for service, I pray for knowledge of God's will for me to make sure it's not just me wanting to manipulate, control, or avoid something going on in my life."  Hope for Today (p. 320)

November 14th - My survival skills

The story...

Most of us developed survival skills to make it through K-12 - our elementary, junior, and high school years. High school was when I was expected to learn and experience what I needed to be a full-functioning member of society.  The graduation speech said that we had limitless potential within the United States of America.  What did I do over those 13 years?

• Learned to obey the teacher, complete assignments, and value good grades.
• Progressed through boy scouts to the rank of "Life Scout."
• Fulfilled the job requirements of a paper delivery boy for 4 yrs. - wasn't motivated to sell new subscriptions but faithfully delivered the papers and collected the money.
• Built a large wooden tool box, smashed my thumb with a hammer, sewed my own reversible vest, and cooked potato soup.in junior-high shop class.  They required the boys to take home-economics for two months during 8th grade.
• Completed drivers education and was awarded my drivers license.
• Fulfilled the requirements of a drug store general worker and delivery boy for 2 yrs.  Crashed their cars several times.
• Developed friends - mostly from band and work experiences.
• Completed all the math classes offered and survived the English classes.
• Fell in love multiple times yet didn't experience the boy-girl friend closeness that I hoped for.
  
  

My High School

Who was I at that graduation ceremony?

• Accepted Christ as my Savior at eight.
• Learned a work ethic and financial skills with the money I earned.
• Distanced myself from the church - worked every other Sunday.
• Became a story-teller to engage in group conversation.
• Looked for love where I thought it might be found - love was elusive.
• Interacted socially yet never really felt like I fit in.
• Accepted at a state college - to be an engineer.  There I expected to start over - to be somebody.
• Learned survival skills - boundaries, armor, and habits.

The only church in town is a place where you can learn the reality of being truly okay.  Okay with God, you, and your neighbors too.  I was so thankful, in 1980, when Steve and Marlene said to me:  "We would like you to go to church with us - please come."

Just for today...

"I was powerless over my childhood. The survival skills that I developed made my adult life unmanageable."  Hope for Today (p. 319)

"It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery."  Galatians 5:1 (NASB)

November 13th - What's important now?

The story...

I was busy being a Dad, Husband, Boss, Subordinate, Peer, Son, Brother, Coach, Volunteer, Friend, Head-of-the-Household and Good Man.  Everything wasn't getting done and I needed a new plan and perspective.  What do I do first?  Do I work on a chunk of my most important long term goal or do I complete a simple less-important task to quickly remove one from my long list?  I was taking an Engineering Management course at the time that introduced me to the "Eisenhower Matrix."  It was a diagram that helped me make sense of this "time management" dilemma - it was also easy to share and explain to others.

The Eisenhower Matrix

I wrote my top priorities and related tasks on my white board for both me and all others who might want to spend my time differently.  When I needed a break, I completed a few urgent non-important tasks from my in-box.  On Saturday mornings, I threw away a weeks worth of unimportant tasks from the bottom of my in-box - eventually those requesting them gave up or did 'em themselves.

An unexpected outcome, of my behavior change, was that other people took notice and set similar priorities.  The important was getting the attention and results they deserved.  Those generating unimportant tasks either eliminated the tasks or accepted the authority and responsibility for getting them done themselves.  The culture was changing and some of it began with me - along with a little help from those who came before me and my professor coach.

The most important priority, within the only church in town, will be walking rightly with God (Micah 6:8).  Other activities will have a lesser importance.  People will focus on the main thing and not major on the minor things that often results in a wandering self-focused life.

Just for today...

"...things that are urgent are rarely important, and the things that are important are rarely urgent . . . If I imagine I am in a dark room and that God is my only source of light, then my best hope for navigating around the furniture will be to bring that source of light with me."  Courage for Today (p. 318)

If you work on your mind with your mind, how can you avoid confusion?

November 12th - Learning to Love - He, me, and we

The story...

They gave me the choice of surgery on both bunions at once or one at a time.  Doing both would've required navigating a wheel chair.  Friends encouraged me to do both so that I might more fully experience the dilemmas of handicapped people within the workplace - they wanted me to voice my concerns and bring attention to the problems and possible solutions.  "You could help other people and open our workplace up to those with handicaps."

I did one at a time and hobbled around on crutches twice.  I didn't experience the wheel chair barriers yet I did need help from others.  I asked for help.  The help felt like love - I was so... thankful and seemed to have become a more "whole" person.

SF's Quarterback "Brock Purdy" is a favorite

Might I've best learned to love better by allowing others to love me as a younger man?  What necessary ingredients were missing?  I would've had to: believe that true love existed, witness love being given and received, believe in the power, trust the giver, allow imperfect people to offer love in their own way, know that I'm lovable, and eventually offer love to others from The Source. 

The only church in town will be characterized as loving God, themselves and others too - He, me and we.  It won't be a type of imagined love that's worked up through self effort - it'll be a gift from God.  

Just for today...

"You learn to speak by speaking, to study by studying, to run by running, to work by working; and just so you learn to love God and man by loving. Begin as a mere apprentice and the very power of love will lead you on to become a master of the art."  Francis de Sales

"He has told you, mortal one, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, to love kindness, And to walk humbly with your God?"  Malachi 6:8 (NASB)

November 11th - If you held your opinion - what might you've learned?

The story...

What a great thing it is to spend time listening to others.  Yet, I developed an ear, that's bent towards others, later in life.  Relationships can grow in a listening environment where people feel safe enough to "lower their guards."  It's hard to acknowledge that others likely raised their "guards' to protect themselves from imagined harm that I might've inflicted.  Yes, my words have hurt.

Guards, or boundaries, are important to keep us safe yet they also may be restraining us from experiencing unexpected treasure together.  The treasure box may reveal: insights, perspectives, interpretations, facts, ideas, happiness, joy, solutions, imagined realities, strong emotions, spiritual happenings, road blocks, truths, inklings of what might be...  

Wow, I can hardly wait to listen to somebody new.  Where might I find the people and environment where I might risk listening, sharing, loving, and reaping this good stuff of life?  You probably guessed it - the only church in town.

Just for today...

"In the past I tried to control people, places, and things, believing that my way was the correct way . . . my way, based on insisting upon my will, did not work. Yet I kept trying. It was an insane way to live."  Courage to Change (p. 316)

So, you've a need to give somebody else feedback.  Is it true, kind, and necessary?

November 10th - A peaceful and focused mind might ...

The story...

I woke up early in pain.  I wisely didn't  make coffee or take pain medication - I was tempted to do both.  Instead, I looked at YouTube videos to learn about stretches that might relive the pain and numbness emanating from my compressed L5-S1 disc.  I found a couple that felt good and learned about a couple that I habitually did that might've contributed to the problem.  I felt better but couldn't fall back to sleep.  (Side note:  Trust your Physical Therapist and don't accept "I can't!"

What might I do to fall asleep?  Work a cross-word puzzle, read historical-fiction, think about a favorite place or time, or pickup my old NASB bible and read the book of Ephesians - the book that reveals spiritual realities of who I truly am in Christ.  I read the book of Ephesians thoughtfully, repeated the most awesome parts, and finished in what seemed to be about 1/2 hour.  Yes, I fell asleep right with me, life, and our God - centered and focused on truth about my personal relationship-reality in Christ.

The only church in town will repeatedly hear and enjoy these realities.  The cares of the world will creep in yet they'll be overshadowed by thankfulness for the cross - the place and time when God performed his redeeming work - relationship restoration.  They'll treasure this most wonderful assurance of being found in Christ today, tomorrow, and for all eternity.   Yes, God loves the creatures He created in His image - John 3:16.

Just for today...

"Just for a minute, empty your mind of all thought. Then admit to it one single idea, and concentrate on it for a whole minute . . . The minute will seem like an hour, but at the end of this concentrated thought, the tension and confusion will have drained away..."  One Day at a Time (p. 315) 

Hmm... sounds like centered prayer 

"I used to feel that if I didn't solve a problem immediately, it would remain for all time. Now I know that everything passes eventually, the happy as well as the sad."  Courage to Change (p. 315)

November 9th - Why not ask?

The story...

I didn't get what I wanted and needed because I didn't ask?  Could it be?  Yes it be.

Why not kindly and respectfully ask for what you need or want?  In many cases justification isn't necessary.  Others can express love through meeting your needs if they know what they are.  And, they might reveal their own needs in kind.

The only church in town will be like an honest and thankful family that sees others by the light of God's revealed Word and presence.  They'll express love by caring for each other - that means they'll receive love and accept care too.  That love within their inner-person, their heart, will be expressed within an intimate-ongoing relationship with their Creator - their Sustainer.  That's the kinda graceful place where I wanna be.

Just for today...

"I tried to make them feel guilty by telling them how much I had done for them, or I complained that they never did their part. It never occurred to me that I could simply and politely ask for what I wanted . . . Today I am creating a better way of living, free of guilt and deception."  Courage to Change (p. 314)

"I seldom knew what was good for me, yet I knew what was best for others and didn't hesitate to tell them . . . I feared other people's anger and would do anything to avoid it, yet I was oblivious to my own . . . I can no longer harbor resentment and remain ignorant of my part in creating it . . . My entire life was transformed as a result of taking responsibility for myself, becoming willing to change, and taking action."  Hope for Today (p. 314)

November 8th - Do I truly perform to get that reaction?

The story...

I've been the "story teller" as long as I can remember.  I've thought that it was a personality gift that helps the group enjoy being together and to remember the past too.  Yet, maybe my primary motive was to see your reaction - the one that means you accept me - maybe even like me.  Do I really need your validation?  If so, why?

Where do I get my sense of self worth?  Does it come from my resources, my resume, my family lineage, my intellect, body, physical health, ideas about God, how I adorn my body, awards, job titles, academic degrees, competitive game performance, religious activity, or being well liked by "the group?"

The only church in town will offer God's revealed way for honestly loving you, God your Father, and your neighbor as yourself.  You can be okay within life's changing circumstances - bearing fruit that you haven't conjured up on your own.

Just for today...

"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."  Romans 15:13 NASB

"'I will do somebody a good turn and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count.' What a terrific exercise! It helps me break free of the habit of doing kind or generous things in order to get something back."  Courage to Change (p. 313)

"We both acquired the unhealthy aspects of martyrdom, managing, manipulating, and mothering . . . Today I manage my own life, not the lives of others."  Hope for Today (p. 313)

"Love of self . . . carries out the Commandment: 'Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.' We can love others, and help them, only when we are at peace with ourselves."  One Day at a Time (p. 313)

November 7th - "Think, what you're trying to do with me."

The story...

Why did I react so quickly to people and the unexpected?  Once, there was an XL bear that was moving into our campsite deep within the Boundary Waters of Minnesota.  I was quickly on alert with an adrenaline rush.  What do I do?  He, or she, didn't seem to care much for what I had to say or my situational perspective - they wanted our food.  There was his will (food), my will (self-preservation), and God's will.   

We resorted to our training - we, banged our aluminum pans to the point that they were deformed, missed with the only rock nearby, and finally made it to the canoe and out on the water.  Whose will was that?

The only church in town would be patient with people - slow to react.  The love of Christ, and His grace towards His body of believers, will characterize the personality of the group.  Yes, the group would have a personality - the personality of their Lord and Savior Jesus the Christ.   Yes, they'll have inherent sin natures that may look similar to the personality of the world they live in - they'll need love, grace and frequent reminders of who they actually are in Christ - abiding in Him.

Just for today...

Before reacting: "I stop and visualize two doors. One is marked 'Same old, same old,' or 'My will.'  The other is marked 'New and different' or 'God's will.'  This gives me time to 'Think' and to choose a healthier response . . . other people's behavior belongs to them and I don't have to make it mine by reacting to it."  Hope for Today (p. 312)

"Ironically, when I give up worrying about everyone else and focus on my own health, I give others the freedom to consider their own recovery."  Courage to Change (p. 312)

November 6th - Being respectful within community

The story...

If they all jumped off a bridge - would you jump off too?  It's a frustrating truth that people often adapt to the group - try to fit in.   The Asch Conformity experiment confirms this frustrating behavior often exhibited by us humans.  Maybe that's partly why this is one of my favorite jokes - trying to fit in with the group...

Three construction guys are sittin on an I-beam, on top of a tall building project - they're eating their lunch. 
The Italian says: “If I get another pastrami sandwich tomorrow, I'm going to jump off this building.”
The other two guys stare at him for awhile and return to their lunches.

The guy from Ohio says: "If I get another egg-salad sandwich tomorrow, I'm going to jump of this building." The other two guys stare at him for a while and return to their lunches.

The guy from California hesitates, pauses, and says: "If I get another peanut-butter sandwich tomorrow, then . . . I'm going to jump off this building tomorrow too."

The next day the Italian opens up his lunch  box and disgustingly sees the pastrami, he yells "Mamma Mia!," stands up, and jumps to his death.  The other two guys can't believe what's just happened.

The Ohioan opens his box, sees the egg-salad sandwich - he immediately jumps off to his demise too. 

The Californian is now alone, he slowly opens his box to see the peanut-butter sandwich.  He stands up and jumps over the edge like the other two guys.

Three days later at their funerals, the Italian's wife says “I thought he like those pastrami sandwiches - if he only would have told me.”  The Ohioan's wife says “It is all my fault. I thought he loved egg-salad.”  The Californian's wife says “I just don’t get it, he made his own lunches.”

Wikipedia

The only church in town will guard against the perils of group think.  What a sad state it is when people pretend to be somebody they aren't or claims the untrue.  Sure kids are going to want to please their parents.  But, it's especially sad when adults try to please the pastor or those people who are the "Ins."  People will have the freedom to be honest in the respectful environment of the only church in town.

Just for today...

"Boundaries . . . aren't rules I can enforce on others. They are standards of conduct I set for my own benefit . . .  boundaries are a civilizing ingredient in social interaction, a matter of self-respect and respect for others."  Hope for Today (p. 311)

November 5th - Am I persuading to get the reaction I want?

The story...

I've spent way too much time attempting to convince others to accept my ideas and understanding of what's right, just, or best.  My noble motive may've been to help others yet I may've been attempting to build up or promote me.  I might've justified my proclaiming and arguing as refining my thoughts, ideas, and life purpose.  Developing them wasn't enough though; I had the need to air them out in public and persuade others to accept them too.  I wish I'd spent more time listening to and seeking to understand others - I expect that I'd have grown and matured more quickly.

The following scene from Seinfeld describes Elaine and Jerry interjecting their opinions about ponies at the family gathering.  His attempts to reconcile his behavior falls flat.  He's not getting the reactions that he hopes for - comedians need that positive reaction.  Yes, there're some underlying issues with the Seinfeld cast - it's probably funny, in part, because we can relate to their amplified exhibition of unrestrained self.

   Seinfeld: The pony...

Another reason that I like the Seinfeld series is that the characters seem to like each other just the way they are - even when they behave badly.  The only church in town will be composed of a wide variety of people in different stages of life.  Many to most will be primarily focused on themselves and their own needs until they discover the better way.  There'll be need for mentoring, patience, grace, and the working out of each person's faith in the reality of community - we're worth it.  

Just for today...

"The more my group showed love and respect for me, the more I was able to love myself. Then I could begin to help love others into self-love."  Hope for Today (p. 310)

"If I speak out in order to manipulate or change another person, then their reaction becomes the focus of my attention and the measure by which I evaluate the results."  Courage to Change (p. 310)

November 4th - Reset your bearings each day

The story...

I've enjoyed years of daily readings that've helped me better understand how I might best be and do each day - living life more fully in community too.   In the past, I've started many similar initiatives yet this time it seems lasting.  Why?  I've a group of people who are on similar journeys that I meet with regularly.  And, new people join the group so that the group never forgets its purpose and how far each of us has grown.  Their stories seem part of my story.  I value each and every member of the group - this continues to surprise me.

So, just for today, how about reflecting on the quotes, their meaning for you, and how you might act to be different.  Read, understand, reflect, decide, act and be.

The only church in town will have God's Word to: read, understand, reflect on, decide upon, act on, and to be too.  The church is different from other community groups.  All are important, yet the church may be transformational with eternally realities in clearer view.

Just for today...

"...I find that the only way to have serenity is to become willing to accept the things that I cannot change. Acceptance gives me choices."  Courage to Change (p. 309)

"Consider the little mouse, how sagacious an animal it is which never entrusts his life to one hole only." Platus : Truculentus, act iv. sc. 4.

"I don't get well first and then start to mend. To become a whole person, I need to live now, take part, and become involved with others."  Hope for Today (p. 309)

"...the main source of our unhappiness is that we ourselves don't know what we want. We think we're dissatisfied with what we have, with the way we live, and the way other people act to us. . . It really adds up to this: that we're not satisfied with ourselves, and we can certainly do something about that."  One Day at a Time (p. 309)

November 3rd - Enjoying "we"

The story...

I've written before of how much I liked my Amber-Vision glasses.  When sporting my Amber-Visions, my environment looked: clearer, more vibrant, exciting, pleasant, with a touch of expectancy for the "good life."  Sure, I wasn't always wearing them.  They weren't always there when I needed them.  They didn't fit quite as good as they aged.  The effect was less noticeable as time passed.  And, they were eventually lost or replaced.

What if we had glasses that filtered our random thoughts, pre-judgements, biases, rules, fears, and worries?  I wonder what we might sense, better understand, imagine, and experience.  How would the group look - might we feel more like "we" instead of "me" and "them?"

Scripture says that the Holy Spirit actually inhabits those who place their faith and trust in the great work of their Lord and Savior Jesus the Christ.  That means that God is present within many of those imperfect, odd, clunky, and slowing maturing people within the only church in town.  Maybe we wouldn't have to "put up" with people if we tuned into the reality of the Spirit of God in both us and others.  Whoa!  I wanna look through those lenses.

Just for today...

"Detach from the problem, but not from the person . . . Detachment motivated by love can shield us from needles pain and set the stage for a truly rewarding relationship." One Day at a Time (p. 308)

"...when any member regularly dominates the sharing and meetings, the group suffers."  Courage to Change (p. 308)

November 2nd - Offering, those you're with, your best

The story...

What an odd thing to want the best from others when we aren't willing to be that "good" person ourselves.  Worse yet, what a strange thing to want other people around us to behave according to an undefined "best" standard.

What do I want from those around me?  A listening and understanding ear, respect for all, loving themself and their neighbor, honesty, curiosity, eye for beauty, willingness to learn new things, participate in and support community, courage throughout each day, an optimistic view of eternity grounded in reality, sharing with those in need, and a faith that God loves us and will do good for us within His will?

What if those in our groups took the Boy Scout Oath?  "On my honor I will do my best to do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Scout Law; to help other people at all times; to keep myself physically strong, mentally awake, and morally straight."

How about the Girl Scout Law?  "I will do my best to be honest and fair, friendly and helpful, considerate and caring, courageous and strong, and responsible for what I say and do, and to respect myself and others, respect authority, use resources wisely, make the world a better place, and be a sister to every Girl Scout."

Goodness, rooted in a good heart, is infectious.  If it starts within each of us then we'll likely all enjoy a better life - "Let it Start with Me."

The only church in town will work out their lives together according to the revealed Word of God.  It will be a reverent place of relationships - me with God in Christ, me with me, me with you, and you with you. 

Just for today...

"I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are moving." Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809 - 94)

"I will not reserve my deference and respect for outsiders whom I want to please or my pleasant expressions for those I want to impress. The people I live with are worthy of my best behavior..."  One Day at a Time (p. 307)

November 1st - Are you content and peaceful? Do you wanna be?

The story...

Last night I attended a meeting where I had no discernable anxious thoughts.  When we broke into sub-groups, I listened to each person's share to understand them with no evaluation process going on in the recesses of my mind.  There was 30 seconds left when somebody asked for my response, I shared an unembellished honest response.  My mind, heart, soul, and possibly spirit seemed peaceful and honest throughout the meeting.  To my knowledge, I didn't play any role - I was close to the real me.  It felt soo... good.

U.S. National Park Service

Is it possible to live a peaceful, restful, honest, condition in reality?  Our minds quieted with a strong sense of "okayness?"  To be in touch with our feelings without reacting to each unsettling impulse? Living in the present reality with me, others, the environment and the presence of God too?

The only church in town will share God's revealed word regarding the condition that He wants us to live our life in - the good place.  Yet, it seems people aren't generally peaceful or restful; but, we must live our lives out amongst them.  Remember the greatest commandments?   They're our highest-level purpose.

Just for today...

"All men's miseries derive from not being able to sit quiet in a room alone."   Blaise Pascal

"Sometimes a horse refuses to obey the rider's command and races out of control. My thoughts can do this too, when I frantically try, over and over, to solve a difficult problem. Riding lessons have taught me not to continually repeat a command louder, but to stop the horse, get his attention, and begin again. Likewise, when my thoughts race out of control, I need to stop."  Courage to Change (p. 306)

October 31st - I'm okay in Christ

The story...

The numbness in both legs began a couple days ago - I noticed it when I was lovin' on my grand daughter while carrying her to the car after the hockey tournament.  The reality of my degenerating lumbar vertebrae can no longer be ignored.  My behavior must match the reality of my condition or my nervous system will give me direct and pointed feedback - ouch, reality's set in.

I expect that some nice person will call me today to schedule my MRI.  They'll insert my body in this big metal tube to take a 3D picture of this unseen reality.  I expect that two of the disks will be a bit flatter and protruded than before and that the stenosis will've narrowed the holes that my nerves are threaded through.  Yes, I'm now more aware of my limitations...

The surgeon told me about 14 years ago that he'd likely see me again in 15 years.  So, why did this catch me by surprise?  I couldn't help but notice that my height's shrinking as my disks flatten.  My spine doesn't care if I like the reality or not - it just is.  My only realistic choice is to adapt to what's true and how I'll move my body.  I can choose to be thankful for every miraculous breath, imagine an alternate reality, or whine and complain. 

The only church in town will offer opportunities to walk side-by-side others as we walk humbly with God.  A more honest life might be lived with a clearer, yet still cloudy, view of spiritual realities and the next life too.

Just for today...

"I'm attacked by thoughts of disaster. I imagine failure, torment, agony. And then I act. I do something rash or fruitless in order to put a bandage on the situation, because the one thing I most fear is being afraid."  Courage to Change (p. 305)

"I grew up in a family where scorn, criticism, and teasing were everyday modes of communication. To cope, I developed the ability to hide my pain and confusion behind sarcasm and ridicule. Making myself feel bigger and better by making fun of others never filled the emptiness I felt inside."  Hope for Today (p. 305)

October 30th - Helping others helps me to be and do

The story...

Yesterday, I saw my neighbor walking down the bike path by the side of the road.  I remembered the picture of him with the 4' sturgeon that he caught earlier in the week.  I was on my motorcycle so it would've been easy to turn around and pull into a driveway and hear his story - the sharing would likely have been good for him and built up our relationship too.  Even though I paused a bit longer than I would've hoped, my motorcycle came back and we strengthened our relationship.

Wikipedia

Why was this interchange important?  Maybe it demonstrated that I was truly interested in him, was pleased with his unexpected joy, was interested in the details of the "fight," asked how he felt as he wondered what it might be, and demonstrated keen interest during the whole conversation.  It was all about him.  It felt good to know that it was natural and true behavior on both of our parts - I wasn't "trying" to demonstrate interest and happiness with him - I actually was happy for and interested in his life.  That seems like good living.

I expect that my turning around to love my neighbor as myself was "doing" what I want to "be."  As I reflect on the reality of this simple situation - I'm so thankful for the changes in my life that've reduced my focus on me and turned my eyes and heart more towards others.

There'll be happiness and joy within the community of the only church in town.  They'll be a sort of organism that values each of their unique parts - they'll know it takes all of the parts of a body for it to function as He designed.  Praise God for the Body of Christ worked out in the Light.

Just for today...

"Many a solution to a difficulty of my own has come to me while I was helping someone else."  One Day at a Time (p. 304)

October 29th - Making the most of life

The story...

I/m so thankful that I read the quote from Peter Marshall - it was simple, wise, and seems true according to my own life experiences.  His quote makes me smile today.  So, I investigated who this Peter was.  His story was a surprising story of doing, being, trusting, walking by faith, and engaging in life.  His was a good story yet not exceptionally long.

I purchased his life story, "A Man Called Peter," that was written lovingly by his wife, Catherine Marshall, in 1951.  It's been a joyful life story to read, chunk by chunk, savoring it and not wanting it to end.  I'm taking my time with it - the book lays next to my bed.

Peter Marshall

A truly good man...

The only church in town will have wonderfully unique and interesting people congregating together.  There you can live out your gift of life together - in community.  It will be a story that you can enjoy chunk by chunk - not wanting it to end yet knowing that it will according to God's will.  There you can imagine more clearly the life that Peter Marshall is now living in Christ - I can only imagine.  His story won't end because he won't be separated from God - his life is hidden in Christ.

Just for today...

"...The most important person to gain love and respect from is myself."  Courage to be Me (p. 137)

"All our resolves and decisions are made in a mood or frame of mind which is certain to change."  Marcel Proust

"Lord, when we are wrong, make us willing to change. And when we are right, make us easy to live with."  Peter Marshall