October 19th - Want to be Self Actualized?

The story...

Fourteen other men attended the meeting.  We were all focused on a topic that was important to each of us.  As group leaders, we'd later facilitate similar discussions within our own groups. There were expectations that we'd engage in conversation to learn from each other as we prepared for leading our own groups.  Before, I often felt a strong desire to share what was on my mind.  Noble motives for my self focus included: edifying others; redirecting conversation to my concepts of the most important; identifying logical, practical or factual flaws; or to model "good" group member behavior.

That day; I listened more and recorded helpful learnings and observations that worked their way into my own group's topical conversation.  I didn't speak up as much and felt peaceful and content within the full meeting.  It was like my self was quietly riding in the back seat and that the real me, trusting God, was upfront driving the car.  I was content and thankful alongside compadres.

Self seems to want to be: proud, accepted, admired; and the focus of attention - even at the expense of others.  My self seems to be a competitor.  He wants to expand what is his with hopes of being safer, more secure, and admired by others - indispensable.  Self tends to live in an imaginary world where he's the main character - the most important.  Kinda like a little "god."  Ugh...

Maslow's hierarchy of five needs suggests that each self's goal is to be self actualized.  It assumes that everyone wants to be a winner.  Human history seems to read as a long saga of pain and anguish fueled by selfish selves warring against each other while trying to fulfill their grandiose view of self.  Self aims to be elevated to a higher level - a little "god."  Do we all crave this type of illusive self love?

Maslow's hierarchy of needs with an additional level?

The only church in town will preach what God has revealed about who He is and who we are as His creatures.  How to be free from the tyrannical rule of self will be shared.  They'll learn to love themselves because of who they've become in Christ - right with God. 

Just for today...

"I need to distinguish between giving out of love and giving to please others in order to gain their attention or approval."   Hope for Today  (p. 293)

"Struggling and worrying didn't help me to solve my problem. Doing my part and trusting God with the rest did."   Courage to Change (p. 293)

"I will not allow my imagination to build small troubles into big ones. I will try to see each situation clearly, and give it only the value and attention it deserves."  One Day at a Time (p. 294)

"Self wants; Love gives - Love received; Pays forward."    Am I a Poet?

September 25th - What lasts?

The story...

More than 50 years later, I still have a coloring project that I made in third grade.  I colored, many colors, all over a piece of crepe paper and covered the whole thing in black - I scraped off the black to expose an image of a horse.  I've also kept a few pieces of clothing that I owned before I was married.  The house that I grew up in still exists even though it's eroded to a shadow of what I once believed it to be.  I worked at a manufacturing organization for over 20 years and must've created and signed thousands of documents - It's likely that those document are all either replaced, deleted, or at best archived.  It's true that nothing stays the same and that there'll likely be little evidence that we ever existed in the not too distant future.

Martin Luther has a famous quote that I value: "I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God's hands, that I still possess."   My hands are touching a keyboard as I type - it's a helpful tool that allows me to create, understand, be, and communicate; yet, that too will go away some day.  

I actually painted this...

He's got the whole world in His hands.  He will work His will out with our without you.  Why not trust Him and bear the fruit that only He can give - it's the stuff that'll lasts and multiplies.

The only church in town will teach about: how to trust God's revealed truth; our relationship as Creator and creature; our relationship potential; and future events that'll impact us and our world too.  We can trust our good Father with our: problems; concerns; people whom we love; and all eternity too.

Just for today...

"My parents are due to visit. Nothing promotes my relapse into compulsive, controlling behavior better than the anticipation of their judgement . . . Each time I doubt that my God knows the way, I'll remember how chaotic and complicated my life becomes when I try to take control."  Hope for Today (p. 269)

"Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life, And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever."   Psalm 23:6

"Friends listen; Neighbors see - Spirit of Christ; Abides in thee."   Am I a Poet?

August 18th - Keeping busy or living peacefully?

The story...

My significant other went away for eight days.  Why did I have this need to plan activities to keep me busy?  Did this need suggest that my life wasn't peaceful?  Was my life structured around a pattern of habits that'd be disrupted without my girl?  Did I need a series of planned activities to validate my sense of self worth?  Do want to be okay rather than behave in ways that allows me to imagine that I'm okay?

What does a good day look like for me?  Maybe it's hard to live out the better reality without a purposeful plan or pattern.  Its a little uncomfortable to actually write out.  Isn't that a blog goal?  Okay, the following is my generic plan for living out a peaceful and fruit bearing day - limited to 15:

1. Wake naturally from restful sleep
2. Do a few things that I look forward to
3. Pray, meditate and listen
4. Reflect and clarify within my blog
5. Interim fast while drinking plenty of water
6. Reach out to at least one friend
7. Exercise in nature and community
8. Be kind to those I meet - risk loving and being loved
9. Invest one hour managing my household and finances
10. Enjoy lunch
11. Do or learn something new
12. Keep opinions to myself and challenge their validity
13. Serve somehow, somewhere - engage in community
14. Seek to understand before being understood
15. Listen to God's revealed Word and fall asleep being loved

Having completed and reflected on this list, I've less of a need to fill up my days with planned activities.  I certainly would rather live in the present, be receptive to spirit/Spirit realities, trust God rather than myself, and enjoy walking within the will of God - our wills lining up.  I experienced a season closer to  this good life while suffering for 40 days in a sling following rotator-cuff surgery.

The only church in town will be a place built to facilitate a more honest life lived out in the actualities, or circumstances, of life and Sprit-to-spirit reality.   Maybe there we will feel free to pass the peace sign on to each other while listening to the Word of God. ☮

Just for today...

"Today I make a commitment to be honest with myself. By facing reality, I become someone I can depend upon."  Courage to Change (p. 232)

"It is easy, terribly easy, to shake a man's faith in himself. To take advantage of that, to break a man's spirit, is devil's work."  (G.B. Shaw: Candida)

"Each painted; Wonderfully unique - God's presence; Tad oblique."    Am I a Poet?

August 15th - Can you understand your psyche with your mind?

The story...

One night in 2023, I experienced death in a dream - I didn't remember this occurring before. The scenario, I'm riding on my cruiser motorcycle and enter into a tunnel entrance ramp onto I80.  I take a lane that ends up to be a dirt path with construction all around.  There is no way back to the lane of vehicles that are speeding along their way.  I stop due to a big ditch in front of me where other motorcycle riders are attempting to climb out to get back onto I80.  I switch lanes to the left, looking for an easier path, and notice a huge tunnel-digging machine emerging from a tunnel, under construction, behind me.  I pause and it runs over me - I feel nothing.  My mind looked for the feelings of death pains and wondered if I was dead.  It took a few seconds to remember that this was a dream and not reality. "Yes, I 'm still dreaming."  I woke up in a sort of curious state - did that vivid, participatory, dream mean something?  Do I have a latent fear that's operating behind the scene within my psyche?

Seignac, Guillaume - Cupid and Psyche

Who can understand a man's mind, soul and spirit?  God said that a man doesn't even understand his own heart.  Should I try to understand my own psyche with my own mind?  Is that even reasonable?

It's a good thing to trust God's word and bear fruit in peace.  Yes, God's Word does offer the way towards peace, in the present, within the varying circumstances of life.  Praise God for how He loves His creatures.

The only church in town will preach God's revealed Word.  The people will hear about who He is, what He plans for us His creatures, and how to live a good-to-great life within His will - our wills connected.  The creature's part is to trust His Word and His provision for those who are His, His in Christ.

Just for today...

"Fear is the energy that activates my character defects. Sometimes my shortcomings lie dormant like a bumper car ride with the electricity turned off, and I don't even notice them."  Hope for Today (p. 228)

"How important is it? . . . I find what I might have viewed as a disaster is really insignificant . . . I can take my disappointment or irritation at face value and refuse to dramatize it."  Courage to Change (p. 228)

"Many of our frustrations come from not making the most of ourselves and getting out of life what it has to give, ready and waiting for us to accept."  One Day at a Time (p. 228)

"Twas right there; Ready for pickin - Didn't believe; Felt sickin."   Am I a Poet?

August 10th - Want to dwell in the past?

The story...

An unexpected life victory occurred during my 64th year of life.  I traveled on my motorcycle to a location where my family annually vacationed together.  In the past, visits like this would trigger fond memories that I longed and even ached over.   Camping sites, trails, kids doing similar things, and the scene of  that one time long ago. Often, the longing would be linked with a deep feeling of loss - something that I couldn't return to no matter what.  On this particular visit, I more fully enjoyed the present.  I didn't forget the past memories but I didn't camp with them either - they seemed to help color the present more vibrantly. 

You might be speculating as to whether the loss of those "good ole day" strong feelings is either good or bad.  If we spent enough time actually understanding each other, I expect we'd agree that living more fully in our present reality is the better condition.

Netflix created a beautiful limited TV series called "The Queen's Gambit."  In one scene, Beth says: "I feel safe in an entire world with just 64 squares."  She developed an obsessive compulsion that helped her cope with reoccurring childhood memories.

I hope that people who attend the only church in town, will be compelled, and feel safe enough, to relax their coping skills. In a more rested and peaceful state, they may resist those compelling habits, and open their eyes more fully as to what's really going on.  They might risk putting their chessboard, with it's 64 spaces, back in the box.  Maybe their soul, mind, and spirt will compel them to pack up their campsite and begin walking again on their life journey.  What a wonderful thing to walk, with God, alongside a person who's living life more fully in the present where God and life are.

Just for today...

"As a child I lived in a fantasy world where to think it so would make it so. Combined with my need for perfectionism and self-control, I believed I could think myself out of reacting emotionally to people and situations.  I carried these misperceptions into adulthood. In my denial, I thought I could make myself not feel anything. I had practiced being tough for a long time."  Hope for Today (p. 223)

"Don't wanna hurt; What to do? - Isolate with me; Away from you."
"Suffer loneliness; Keeping me out - Suffocating bubble; Complain and pout."
"Ray of Sonshine; Peaks thru cracks - Believe the Truth; We're bustin out!"   Am I a Poet?

August 6th - What's a really-good day look like?

The story...

There was a summer, during my middle-school years, when I didn't do much.  I delivered my daily newspapers, participated in family stuff, watched too much TV and daydreamed.  Strangely, I remember contemplating my rather dull summer while thinking it really didn't make any difference - the summer was nearly over too for those who actually lived out the type of summer I hoped for.  Yes, that chunk of life was over for everyone.

Daydream - Lovin' Spoonful

What would I tell the teenage me If I could sit down with him back then?  Would I tell him about the good circumstances that awaited?  Would I tell the rather short me that I'd grow to be 6' 4" tall?  Would I tell him that it was better than he thought?  Would I share an appreciation for the good that was actually available?  Or, would I tell him to focus on the greatest two commandments in the bible:  Love the Lord your God with all your heart, strength, and mind.  And, love your neighbor as yourself?  I expect what I really needed was to understand, be understood, and to learn to love and be loved just as I was.

Would you rather be loved in poor circumstances or unloved in favorable circumstances?  In my humble opinion, my best days are those where I'm loving my neighbors as myself.  A day when I'm a best friend to me which seems to serve as a source of strength for loving other people.  And, I can only love me if I'm right with, or at peace with, God the Father.

People attending the only church in town will hear about how they too might be right with God the Father through His provision.  The bible says faith in His Son's redeeming death, burial and resurrection positions people in Christ - a place where we can be rightly related to God and enjoy a most wonderful condition both now and forevermore. (Ephesians 1)

Just for today...

"I would put aside critical thoughts of others. I would notice interesting things - the expressions on people's faces, a plant growing on my windowsill, the grace and charm of a child, an arrangement of clouds. Today there are wonders all around me, if I will open my eyes and enjoy them."  One Day at a Time (p. 219)

"Wonders of life; These I see - Right with God; Okay with me."
"Eyes off me; Know you too - Life grows us; Eternity's in view."    Am I a Poet?

July 29th - Live a peaceful or exciting life?

The story...

People in their 60's often tell me about the exciting things they want to do with their free time that wasn't available within the last few stages of life.  Attention to their duties of life prevented them from living the "good life" that they expect to experience with that RV, second house, doting on grand children, extended vacations, bigger barn, hobby, tower building, financial investments, physical endurance feats, novel writing, life trophy...  Now, they're "free" to live the good life - self actualizing.

Why was this "good life" not available to them during the bulk of their more productive and capable years?  I expect that this question is worthy of self reflection - getting to the root cause(s).

Some people seem to resent my vision of the "good life" - living a peaceful life humbly walking with God in the present - enjoying interactions with people, creation, and His presence.  Practicing loving the Lord my God with all my heart, mind and soul and my neighbor as myself.  That seems like a worthy overarching goal - a North Star.

I hope that people in the only church in town would be free to be honest with themselves and the reality of what God's revealed for us.  His Word says He desires to enjoy those whose hearts are His and that we can enjoy walking humbly with Him too in the midst of all life circumstances.  The pull of the actualities of people's lives into "the world" will continually challenge truths revealed in God's Word.  Yet, they'll witness the effects of "That Than Which There is No Greater."  Why not trust God and be thankful?

Just for today...

"Quiet can be achieved with complete silence, but if the silence has in it even a trace of anger or hostility, it loses all its power . . . Most angry words have no basis in logic or reason anyway, so why need they hurt me?"  One Day at a Time (p. 211)

"Peacefully quiet; Thoughts emerge - God receives; He restores."
"He gives; Spirit indwells - Purposely arise; I'm His."    Am I a Poet?

July 24th - God created me with a will but it isn't His.

The story...

That Friday trip to Ludington State Park, on on my new yellow-KLR motorcycle, was wonderful.  I rode a new route and saw things that I'd previously ignored.  It seems I was often rushing in a quest to either get to a better place or to rush home as quickly as possible. 

Wow! Ludington Pumped Storage Plant

The weather was good, the people were friendly, the waitress was extra helpful, and the state park looked just like I left it - there were nice improvements.  Yet, the highlight of my trip plan was to cast a yellow-red Daredevil spoon off of the Lake Hamlin sand dunes - I imagined catching that Northern Pike.  I planned for it, willed it, hiked there, had the stuff, and even the weather to make it happen. Yes, I was attempting to "bend" reality according to my will.  To my dismay, the area had too many boats and my secondary fishing site had two people wading in the bay!  My imagined reality wasn't going to happen.

I prayed a short prayer of thankfulness and remembered that God's will wasn't my will  Obviously, He has a different and righter plan than I could imagine.  So, I walked back to the parking lot with maybe five casts - silver, #3 Mepps spinner, no buck tail - along the way.  I sat down on a bench and closed my eyes for a few minutes.  The scene was comfortable, peaceful, and the sounds of the kids playing at the beach were joyful.  I gathered myself, picked up my rod, and sauntered along the shoreline to the dam.  There was an old man fishing below the dam who shared that he had no luck.  He wished me the best and on my third cast I caught the Pike I had hoped for - it was a joyful experience.

I do wear a big shoe...

There were always reasons for doing what I've done in my life.  I've made a series of reasonable choices, within the confines of my environment(s) and capabilities, to end up here.  Good situations sometimes resulted in increasing pride and smugness that led to downfalls while trials often resulted in a better, more capable, and thankful, me.  Yes, I'm thankful for all my life thus far.

God made us with a will to work out our life while He intervenes through His sovereign will as He wishes.  We can ignore Him and reap the consequences of a self-willed life, trying to bend reality, or trust Him and experience increasing heart-felt joy and peace.  How could our will ever come close to the will of God for our lives?

The only church in town would share God's revealed truth for both eternity and this life too.  They'd share scripture like 1 Corinthians 15 so that people might hear and believe in God's provision for us, His creatures.  What an awesome wonder to be able to humbly and rightly walk with God in Christ. 

Just for today...

"At that moment of smug self-righteousness, God decided to send me a spiritual awakening. He told me that perhaps they understood more about Him than I did.  After all, they were the ones who were happy and free, filled with peace. Perhaps I could learn something from them if I opened my mind enough to listen and opened my heart enough to risk getting involved..."  Hope for Today (p. 206)

"Plan tomorrow; Live today - Think eternity; Honestly be."   Am I a Poet?

July 16th - EGO maintenance or replacement?

The story...

A Human Resources representative delivered a 360 degree performance evaluation to me and summarized the feedback that she received with one phrase: "It's all about you."  I appreciated the honest feedback yet it stung.  Sure I talk about me and what I'm interested in most.  Who else's ideas could I share?  Okay, I didn't know the names of my work-group's family members - why is that a problem?  I'm a story teller, who else's stories can I tell?  The feedback was valuable and I never forgot it.  It took effort and courage to develop and deliver that feedback to me - I'm extremely grateful that she succinctly delivered the feedback in a manner that I actually accepted.  My self awareness grew much that day.

So, my ego is that part of my conscience mind which I consider myself.  It's who I'm referring to when I use the word "I."  Is it a worthy endeavor to better understand and value my ego?  When does self-awareness and development turn that nasty corner toward narcissism?   Am, I lovable as I am?  Can I love me without being consumed by self-love and falling into loneliness and despair?  What's a healthy level of self-esteem?

My favorite verse of the bible is a wish that the Apostle Paul sends to a congregation of people in Rome whom he'd never met.  I wish the same thing for me and for you too.  

"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."  Romans 15:13 NASB

The "egos" who walk into the only church in town would find what they're looking for in a right relationship with God and His community.  There they hear about a more healthy ego that enables a person to live a more satisfying, joyful, peaceful, and fruitful life.  Hopefully they'll witness, meet, and walk with people who're trusting in God.

Why is it so hard for a man to bend his knee and trust in God and His provision for the "good" life?  Why is faith in God and His Word soo... elusive for most people?  The self seems to rebel against this threat to it's supreme authority and preeminence.  It's almost like our old self is trying to save itself from being transformed from that caterpillar to the butterfly.

Just for today...

"Maturity is the capacity to withstand ego-destroying experiences, and not lose one's perspective in the ego-building experiences."  Robert K. Greenleaf

“Despair is the absolute extreme of self-love. It is reached when a person deliberately turns his back on all help from anyone else in order to taste the rotten luxury of knowing himself to be lost.”  Thomas Merton

"Creature adrift; Creator let go - Proudly alone; Mirror says so."
 "Ray of light; Life's release - Trusting Christ; All joy and peace." Am I a Poet?

July 15th - Honest or Complacent?

The story...

Most friends would characterize me as being an honest person; however, I've worked out my "honesty" differently throughout my life.  We all know that you don't share a poor opinion regarding the beauty of a mother's new baby.  When your spouse comes home with a radically different haircut, you don't question the decision or openly say it looks bad.  On a bigger scale, what do you say when the king's not wearing pants yet the whole community pretends to ignore the obvious truth?

Hans Christian Andersen, 1837

The opinions we form, value and defend might be part of this dilemma.  You may think we need to think like the group to remain accepted or valued - that might be part of the problem.  The continual quest to be and think like the "best" might be part of the problem.  Working out our life as a sort of "random walk" might be part of the problem.  Staying complacent and sticking with, and self-justifying, our current way of behaving is likely part of the problem.

Maybe the problem solution includes a stable code of values, principles, or core tenets regarding how we live our life.  Yet, even if the code we live by is sound, how do we relate with others whose code is different, changing, or directly opposed to ours?  I expect that the answer will likely include demonstrating and expressing dignity and respect toward all humans no matter where they currently are within their life journey.  We'll all likely grow together as we express love towards each other, let our guards down some, and begin to better understand each other within closer relationships.

The only church in town will focus on the truth of God's revealed Word.  The truth includes grace in Christ for both me and you too - grace that we may extend to each other.  Honesty is an important part of every relationship.  Are you rightly related to God through Christ?

Just for today...

"Complacency simply means being sure we're right, taking it for granted that our view couldn't possibly be wrong. It means judging others by what we think is right. It blocks out understanding and kindness, and justifies qualities in ourselves that we wouldn't find tolerable in other people."  One Day at a Time (p. 197)

"Okay I am, Rather lame? - Should I grow?; Remain the same?"
"Christ in me; This is true - He does good; We're brand new."    Am I a Poet?

July 9th - Are you coping by denying reality?

The story...

The orthopedic surgeon showed me an MRI picture of my spine - the source of my misery.  Yes, there was a surgical method to control or "fix" the problem.  To help put the surgery choice in perspective; he showed me an MRI image of an old woman's spine that looked like a stack of crumbled bones - "she lived pain free."  How did she live without pain?  He said she was a peaceful woman whose back muscles were relaxed.  If she tensed her strong back muscles around those crumbled bones then she surely could've produced pain and all the anxieties that go along with it.

I chose the surgery option and it was successful.  For a season, I experienced relief from the pain caused from my back muscle tension around my crumbling spine and that bundle of nerves.  My current reality is less restrictive and enjoyable then my past reality with the Spondylolisthesis.  I'm glad I faced the reality of my situation and chose what seemed to be the best option.  There were many who offered their do-nothing opinion based on the fearful consequences and peril that my surgery decision might mean.

Within the only church in town, attenders will witness those who live a peaceful life throughout the inevitable circumstances of each stage of life.  They will witness real and fruitful relationships with God and people who seem to actually love themselves and their neighbors too.  No, He didn't create us and leave us all alone.

A dishonest life? .. Sleepless in Seattle

Just for today...

"What kind of stuff is self-pity made of, that it can entrench in my mind and keep me miserable? . . . Self pity comes from concentrating on the negative aspects of life. . . To expect life to be tailored to our specifications is to invite frustration."  One Day at a Time (p. 191)

"... many of us coped with an ever-changing situation in which our sense of reality changed from one minute to the next . . . we were devastated because reality didn't go away just because it was ignored.  Our lives will remain unmanageable as long as we pretend that only half of the truth is real . . .  I can't cope with something unless I acknowledge its reality."  Courage to Change (p. 191)

"This is true; Light says so - It's still true; If'n I say NO!"   Am I a Poet?

July 6th - Do you fear letting God lead?

The story...

Two men walk into a room and find a huge pile of dung in the middle.  The first guy frowns and says "this is awful, who did this, and who's going to clean it up?"   The second guy smiles and says "there must be a pony in here somewhere."

I think that I'm generally optimistic and recognize that what appears to be bad often has an unexpected upside.  Yet, some people grew up in situations where "bad" stuff was the norm and their life was marked with fear, and distrust.   In order to minimize the pain they attempt to fix, manage, and control other people and most situations.

It seems right for people to want to fix, manage, and control their lives in order to increase the likelihood of a "best" possible outcome.  Yet, people in the only church in town will hear about trusting God.  It seems scary to be out of control.  What would a life surrendered to God look like?  Might it be like a coordinated ballroom dance where God leads?  We can imagine what an out-of-synch dance looks like when both try to lead.  Wouldn't it be nice to rest and let God do the leading? 

The only church in town would be more peaceful than fearful.  Those who try to fix, manage, and control their lives, and others too, might witness the life dance of some who trust God to lead.  People who grew in the actualities of trusting and walking humbly with God together.  He is trustworthy.

Just for today...

"Disappointments growing up with . . . fueled my expectations that bad things would always happen.  I came to expect the worst, leading to a deep fear that permeated my will and my life."  Hope for Today (p. 188)

"Today I seek to be an instrument of the peace of God.  I know that it is the most loving and generous commitment I can possibly make - to myself."  Courage to Change (p. 188)

"I am leaving you with a gift - peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give." John 14:27 NLT

"Touch of hand; Gentle shift - Flow together; To final lift."   Am I a Poet?

July 2nd - Peaceful or Vibrant Chapter?

The story...

What does being peaceful mean to you - Less consternation, calm feelings, a quiet sense of purpose and strong relationships?   Some would rather have a vibrant life characterized by: excited thoughts, amped-up feelings, a sense that anything's possible, and a life less bounded by relationships.

Maybe younger adults are designed to live vibrant lives and older people are designed to work out more peaceful lives.  If that's true, then is it reasonable to expect a younger person to live with a sense of peace, calmness, and purpose?  Would a peaceful person be able to move mountains, lead thousands, and work out a close and continual relationship with their God too?

I'm thankful for each stage of life and how I've learned to say goodbye to the old and hello to the new.  The book of my life wouldn't be as rich and meaningful without all the chapters - the good, the bad, and the ugly too.

The only church in town would be full of unique and wonderful biographies that're all in the process of being written.  There'd be a library where people could read completed biographies; yet, they wouldn't spend too much time there.  They'd all recognize the value of experiencing the current chapter of each person within community.

Just for today...

"If I am getting in the way of my own best interests, a closer look at my behavior can lead to positive changes."  Courage to Change (p. 184)

"May we learn; Alongside a soul - Blest anew; More whole."   Am I a Poet?

June 30th - God knows what I'm trying to say

The story...

I wonder how often I prayed when I was young.  What did I pray about?  I don't remember expectations that I knelt beside my bed with my hands folded.  Maybe I laid in bed making pleas for answers to the dilemmas that each day presented.  I do remember sleeping on the bottom bunk looking at the airplanes printed on the fabric below the top bunk - I did often imagine flying.  My needs were never fully met and I hope I was thankful for the what and the whom in my life.  

I look back now with thankfulness for all of the life changes that came my way - the good, the bad and the...   My relationship with God is closer than ever and my life is generally peaceful.  I can imagine how God might enjoy me and our relationship.  Yes, I greatly value my human experience and have inklings of how they might be valued and useful within the next life or realm.

Scripture confirms that God knows a  man's heart better than any man does.  It seems that God enjoys and responds to our conversations with Him.  The only church in town will teach people to pray - to work out a right relationship with God the Father through our Savior our Lord Jesus the Christ.  I'm so thankful that my parents brought me to church where I learned Who God was, what He revealed for us, and how to pray.

Just for today...

"As a child I seldom felt as though I had enough of anything - especially love , attention, and approval.  It seemed no matter what my parents said or did, I always wanted more.  As and adult I tried to get my needs met in other ways.  I ate too much, thinking I could fill my empty spaces with food.  I shopped in too many stores, searching for the  elusive merchandise that would finally make me feel complete.  I sought 'substitute parents' whose attention and approval would make me feel good about my life and myself."  Hope for Today (p. 182)

"'Why are you saying your ABCs so many times?' I asked the boy.  He replied, 'I'm saying my prayers.' I couldn't help but laugh. 'Prayers.? All I hear is the alphabet.' Patiently the boy explained, Well, I don't know all the words, so I give God the letters. God knows what I am trying to say.'"  Courage to Change (p. 182) 

"Squint to see; Truth or error - Seems real; Vanity fair?"
"Kneel to hear; Wait in peace - Take next step; Wonder ne'er cease."
"Prophets heard; Had to tell - I believe; All is well."                          Am I a Poet?

June 17th - Remember the joy of floating down that river?

The story...

There's a dam and a river between Hamlin Lake and Lake Michigan.  The dam regulates the current flow - inner-tubbers can slowly float to lake Michigan on most summer days.  It flows faster as it narrows and slows as it widens.  As it breaks through the sandy beach, it speeds up in the narrows and  cuts deeper.  Eventually, it flows into Lake Michigan.

The memories of floating and swimming with friends invokes feelings of happiness and a sense of peacefulness.  It took a lot of work to get all of the floats, fins, life jackets, towels, goggles, books, lotion, and beach chairs to their correct position at either the start or end of the float trip.  One person had to drop the van off and run back to the start.

That lazy river might be a metaphor for life.  God has a will for our lives that flows with relative ease and purpose.  Yet we can kick hard to try to go back upstream, worry about a little bit of rain when we're already wet, venture into the shallows to check out a shiny object, or even kick to the shallows and slow way down while watching others float along.  I remember jumping out to tow a couple tubes and stepping on a fishing hook - ugh.  Yes, floating is about resting and trusting in the river's power.

The only church in town would teach about God's revealed power and provision.  Life, like the river, requires us to do our part and trust God for the rest.  Might we work out our part of the problem and detach?  Let God do the heavy lifting and directing as only He can do.

Just for today...

"... if I could subordinate my will to His.  This is a stumbling block for so many of us: we feel obliged to apply the force of our will to our problems.  No solutions can be found in this way."  One Day at a Time (p. 169)

"Floating free; Oer deep sea - Sailing on Breath; Toward Thy end."   Am I a Poet?

May 27th - Tad Sad Today

The story...

I felt a bit sad for a few days.  I missed a loved one who's usually near as I more deeply considered the passion week.  A person that I care for shared turmoil that they're working through and I felt distant from my groups.  Thankfully, I recognized the fallacy of focusing on things and experiences for happiness.  The sadness was real - it's a thing.  That type of sadness doesn't go with peace.

My sad feelings, experienced over time, are inputs that help me wake up to reality.  I've acknowledged sadness and shared the feeling with other people who care about me.  Right now, I see my shadow on the wall from the early morning sun.  I feel like I might be entering into a new season - goodbye to the old and hello to the new.  I feel like the sadness may have reintroduced me to a new season of life.

The only church in town would celebrate the resurrection of their Lord and Savior during Passion week.  They'd confront most important truths about God and themselves - wonderful experiences and eternal truths shared and worked out in reality - together. 

I wrote the first draft of this blog posting a few weeks before it actually saw the light of day.  Like the feeling of sadness needs time to be more fully understood and worked out - I enjoy the blog editing process too.  Story retold has been helpful for me - praise God in Christ.

Just for today...

Are you feeling: happy, fearful, sad, angry, shameful, or guilty?   What's true about them?  Please don't be too quick to dismiss the reality of the truths you might be feeling.  Maybe they're telling you that there's a better way - a way of more peace, rest, and joy.

"Feeling's real; Don't wanna stay - Experience truth; Fly away."   Am I a Poet?

May 19th - Fear and Hope - Opposites

The story...

I'm sitting in a pew listening to the call to fear and worry.  "Expect to be persecuted . . . this is no longer the nation where we grew up."  "Batten down the hatches - a storm's brewing!"  This seems to be the opposite of hope in God, the Creator, and His revealed plans for His creatures.

I'm not prone to fear; yet, I've been afraid.  I don't know what it's like to face the world with expectations of doom and gloom.  Sure, I've enjoyed reasonably good health and insurance too.  More of my investments have been profitable than unprofitable.  I've never gone hungry, or been homeless, unless I placed myself in a situation where that was part of the plan.  I'm thankful that, but for the grace of God, I'm not the worrying, less hopeful, sort.

I'm truly thankful with great hope for the future.  I appreciate the eternal life perspective that I was taught and worked into my reality by faith - faith in the Holy One who redeems His creatures so that they're found in Him through Christ.  I think that my inner-man, heart, is secure yet storms and trials will come...  This post seems like a long string of "I" statements.  I'd rather be in a place where "I" focused more on others and the communities that we actually live in.

Manhood - by Thomas Cole

The only church in town would be a group that's sustained by hope within the promises and upheld Hand of God.  Yes, Alan Jackson would be welcome to sing of the power in the blood of the Christ in the only church in town.

Just for today...

"The future - even as close as tomorrow - is a closed book.  We cannot know what it holds, and the more we look for disaster, the more we invite it . . . This is something only God knows..." One Day at a Time (p. 140)

"Wasn't I comparing my insides to other people's outsides . . . If I compare, I lose.  Maybe I'll come out feeling better than somebody this time, but next time I'm bound to feel worse."  Courage to Change (p. 140)

"They've got that; I'm this way - We don't fit; This they say."
"We're all moving; A path we're sold - Ready or not; Truth be told!"    Am I a Poet?

May 10th: Peace in the present

 The story...

It seems that people would want to be at peace with themselves and with others - some tried in the anti-war peace movement in the 1960s.  Yet: people disappoint or hurt us; resources are limited; suffering occurs; our decisions have consequences; we hear of daily acts of violence; God's will is different from ours...

I decided to make a concerted effort to promote peace within my family by giving every member a "Peace Frog" t-shirt for Christmas.  I really didn't wear the one pictured below.  I don't think that my family members wore theirs either.  Actually, I merely wore my peace shirt underneath a sweater.  It felt good to sport it without blaring the message towards others.

Humans don't seem peaceful by nature.  Efforts toward an imagined ideal seem good; yet, reality seems to be the better place to live.  Scripture shines light of truth regarding who God is; how we creatures can rightly relate with Him; and promise for our future with Him in Christ.  When we creatures are at peace with our Holy Creator, He indwells us in the person of the Holy Spirit.  Through Him, we're able to bear peace like an apple tree bears apples.

I 'm often surprised when I witness community peace worked out under the light of day.  People would witness and enjoy that kind of peace within the only church in town.  I want to hang out in a place like that - "Right On!"

Shalom

Just for today...

"My unexpected situation turned into a pleasure-filled gift, once I was willing to look at it differently." Hope for Today (p. 131)

"He that is in perfect peace suspects no one, but he that is discontented and disturbed is tossed about with various suspicions..."  Thomas à Kempis

"Peace be real; Lovin still - Livin together; This we will."   Am I a Poet?

May 1st - Contentment

The story...

It's after church in the 1990's.  We're on our way to Grand Rapids for dinner and shopping as a family.  It's springtime, and I'm pumping gas into my "sporty" station wagon while feeling thankful that the windows were rolled up.  The bickering and complaining, sounding from the car, was too much.  I noticed a guy whistling as he walked to the gas station.  I saw him go inside and come out with a candy bar.  He unwrapped the candy bar and took a bite.  His countenance seemed happy - bordering on joyful.  He walked away with a sort of bounce in his step.  I got back into the car and felt discontentment.  Why?  I seemed to have more than he had - why wasn't I content?

I don't have to explain this story for you.  We know the answers.  Yes, we've met the enemy and they are us.

The only church in town would have an answer for finding contentment throughout our lives.  And, we'd witness that contentment worked out by others within their lives too.  We'd also witness a sense of calm within the inevitable storms.

Eugène Delacroix, 1853

Just for today...

"There are many areas of my life that I cannot change.  What I can change is my attitude. Today I can accept my life as it is.  I can be grateful and happy, here and now, with what I have."  Courage to Change (p. 122)

"If I believe in a Power greater than my own, it would be unreasonable for me to behave as though I were all-wise."  One Day at a Time (p. 122)

"Cup's warm; Coffee's good - Rim's thin; handle's right."
"Mind's sharper; Talk's better - Life's good; Move on."      Am I a Poet?

April 16th - Love Yourself Already- "It's the power of ..."

The story...

It was later in life when I first heard a respected person say that I needed to love myself before I could fully love others.  Similar messages were likely dispatched to me before; but, I clearly didn't receive them.  I know I heard the second greatest commandment: "... love your neighbor as yourself."  This is a core tenant of Judeo-Christianity; so, why was this so hard to first comprehend?

I knew that loving others was a virtue but loving "me" sounded like a selfish-proud man's bane.  And, I knew that I was flawed in ways that we surely want to keep to ourselves if we expect to be accepted by others.

Yes, I accepted that I'm fully loved by God and can love me too.  Quiet meditation after my "normal" prayers, with my thinker in the back seat, is a time where actually being loved can be realized.

People will find true freedom within the only church in town.  They'll grow to love themselves and their neighbors too.  Scripture says we're made in the image of God and that God loves us so much that His Son redeems the full sin burden for those who are His.   With our sins covered by the blood of Christ, we're empowered to walk humbly and vicariously with God - loved.  Might that be part of the today's good life and a glimpse of what it might be like into eternity?

I ain't never going back to that old, commiserating, crappy, selfish life where people wallow in their sin, polish their medals, compare themselves to others, and "try" to please those who couldn't care less.  I will to keep my eyes less on me and more on others.  I want to be in tune with what's really going on - experience being loved and loving too.

Just for today...

"I always expected my happiness to come through others, especially my . . .  parents.  I spent most of my life waiting for them to show their love and approval in a way that I could understand.  They didn't, and I felt deprived and unlovable as a result. . . The only person wo can love me the way I want to be loved is me."   Courage to Change (p. 107)

"I gots itches; Rough and smooth - Don't gotta change; I'm loved."    Am I a Poet?