March 7th - Imagined reality

The story...

Have you ever imagined something and then built it?  You weren't too sure about how it'd work out in "actuality;" yet, you got started.  You laid the pieces out on the table.  You arranged and substituted until it seemed just right.  While admiring your work, you might've felt a deep-internal satisfaction.  Your body secreted hormones emoting happiness.  The symmetry, the colors, the flaw, the shadows, the order . . . you liked looking at it.  What's the cause of this deep-felt satisfaction? 

I made this isosceles triangle one 2022 day. The story isn't found in what it's for.  It's more about the idea of working an imagined idea into reality, pondering it, and enjoying it.  Actually taking the time to pause, observe, and see in solitude.  Scripture says that God created - He knew who we'd be.  He enjoys His creation and creatures.  I wonder if God feels something like I feel, albeit infinitely greater and different, as He observes us?  Is this another way we're made in the image of God?

How does this apply to the only church in town?  Most churches design a building to fit the group's expected needs and hopes.  Those that helped create it have a special affinity for it.  Thirty years from now the people will be different, the building a bit more decayed, and patches will've given it a different look.  

The Apostle Paul refers to the "Body of Christ" as a called-out group of people.  Grasping this most wonderful idea requires our imagination as we read what's been revealed about it.  Through faith, you just might sense the beginnings of this wonderful, yet mystical, union of people in reality - introspection and contemplation required. 

Just for today...

"I don't have to look back at past ugliness except to learn from it, to enhance the present, and to release whatever beauty is trapped behind old secrets and self-defeating attitudes." Courage to Change (p. 67)

"I permitted Myself to be sought by those who did not ask for Me; I permitted Myself to be found by those who did not seek Me. I said, ‘Here am I, here am I,’ To a nation which did not call on My name."  Isaiah 65:1 (NASB)

"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."  Romans 15:13 (NASB)

"The mind's canvas; Imagines what's not - Ways and tools; Dreams fulfilled."  Am I a Poet

March 6th - Like swimming laps

 The story...

They say swimming is good for you.  For me, it's the best alternative.  I wonder what swimming is like for young athletes; all those hours with their head down thinking about what?  In 2022, I had a second go at a swimming life style - a good habit.  The whole process takes about two hours with 35 minutes actually swimming freestyle - the crawl.  I pack my bag, drive, find a space, walk in, talk to a friend, change, do a lifting/aerobic routine, shower, jump in, start my Apple watch, swim, soak, shower, change, talk again, and drive somewhere.  Why would a sane person do such a thing?  For me, it's part of a better life.  I expect that people who come closest to knowing me would agree that this is a good investment of these chunks of life.  I plan on sticking with it until...

How does a person think while their eyes are seeing those tile squares, on the bottom of the pool, flow by?  I used to think about how much longer I had to do this - my watch takes care of that now.  Each  time's different yet the same in some ways.  You can't hear much, can't see much, can't smell much, can't taste much but you do feel a whole lot as you almost weightlessly float along.  I come out of the pool feeling rested and more peaceful.  And, a bit closer to my inner-man - maybe even spirit-to-Spirit connection.

The one I love is running is within this photo.

The only church in town might feel like the community pool.  I hope you enjoy pondering this one and maybe even plan to visit your community pool.  Might a change to your routine help you "be."

Just for today...

"When I was angry and wanted to argue, I silently fumed.  When I was hurt and wanted comfort, I pouted. When I wanted attention, I talked non-stop. I couldn't understand why I rarely got the responses I expected!  I no longer expect anyone to read my mind."  Courage to Change (p. 66)

"Feet dangling in; Ready to jump - Waste no time; Enter the chill."
"First lap's fast; Body knows how - Mind's on me, Heart's exposed."
"Few distractions; Spirit and soul - We're together; Smooth and aligned."
"Time is up; Return to life - A better man; Me and He."    Am I a Poet?

March 5th - Wring Out the Value

The story...

The scene from long-long ago, I'm sitting at a conference table with a man from Hong Kong.  He's explaining plans for a new high-rise office building to replace their existing building.  I'm attentive - I'd heard stories about the "buzz" that characterized Hong Kong - I wanted to experience it too.  He explained that the building was being replaced to improve area traffic flow.  Large buildings are obviously expensive so this surprised me.  Why would they do such a thing?  They were replacing it for the benefit of the whole community.  Then I ask: "How old is the existing building?"  His answer shocked me: "It's seven or eight years old."   

I was reminded of the Hong Kong story when enjoying ice sculptures that were shown in the heart of my home town. They'd already begun to melt.  They also offered value to me and the community who chose to observe them.  Yet their expected life span was counted in hours.

How long might the only church in town last?  Buildings and their "value added" come and go.  Yet, I hope that the people who congregate there will "wring out" all of the value within until...

Just of today... 

"I used to believe thinking was the highest function of human beings . . . I now realize loving is our supreme function..."  Hope for Today (p.65)

A wise friend offered me the following good advice: When a thought takes hold of your mind and shows signs of becoming obsessive thinking; stop, allow four minutes to reflect on what's true about it and then decide if something truly needs to be done on your part.  If not, continue on living. 

"Let go of the things you don't need to open up room for your strengths, skills, and feelings to become more fully part of your life."   Courage to Change (p. 65)

"Nice place to be; Maybe I'll camp here - It gives way; Slipping into otherness."  Am I a Poet?

March 4th - Otherwise

The story...

We owned a book of poetry - beneath the living-room table. The book was titled "Time's River - The Voyage of Life in Art and Poetry."  Kate Farrell selected the art and the poems - they were published by the National Gallery of Art, Washington, in 1999.  The book's organized as four phases of life:  Childhood;  Young Adulthood;  Maturity;  and Old Age.  I viewed these life phases in a series of paintings during a tour of the Smithsonian Museum in 1982.  When contemplating those life paintings, I can relate to the character depicted in those paintings.  I wonder: "am I solidly in the third or fourth phase?"  Am I experiencing the right stuff?

Please enjoy "Otherwise" written by Jane Kenyon in 1947.

I got out of bed on two strong legs. It might have been otherwise.

I ate cereal, sweet milk, ripe, flawless peach. It might have been otherwise.

I took the dog uphill to the birch wood. It might have been otherwise.

At noon I lay down with my mate. It might have been otherwise.

We ate dinner together at a table with silver candlesticks. It might have been otherwise.

I slept in a bed in a room with paintings on the walls, and planned another day just like this day.

But one day, I know, it will be otherwise.

How does this poem relate to the only church in town?  My life is both my own and part of my communities.  Those communities seem to shape and form me.  They're likely a key part of what I take with me when I separate from this life.  Hebrews 4:15 confirms that Jesus the Christ's life on earth is important to Him; so, I expect ours will be important to us in eternity too.  I hope to continually grow my faith and more naturally love God with all my heart, strength, and mind.  I'm learning to love me and my neighbor too.  Yet, one day it will be otherwise.  Thank you Jane for sharing a "good" piece of your life with us today.

Just for today...

"This day is a beautiful room that's never been seen before. Let me cherish the seconds, minutes, and hours I spend here. Help me to think before I speak and pray before I act." Courage to Change (p.64)

"Right now; We're gifted - God's here; Breathe deeply."  Am I a Poet?

March 3rd - Lovingkindness

The story...

Listening to Simply Red's song, "Holding back the years," seems to emote feelings that abide deep down inside me.  Those welled-up, brain-triggered, emotions remind me that I'm wonderfully human - a "seeker."  A unique creature who's loved by our Creator in Christ; yet, made out of rascally stuff.  I'm a better man when growing in relationship with other characters who're journeying through this epic story of life with me.  

We all know that the years can't really be held back.  The "saying" that "change" is the only constant in life probably isn't a fundamental axiom - it hasn't changed.  Change is worthy of considering as it can help us hold people and things more loosely and focus more on the essentials of life.  As we change, what are we growing toward?  

How does this relate to the only church in town?  I expect that the church will work best when people are allowed to be less guarded and more fully okay with who they actually are.  Maybe, they won't feel the need to fit in with the group by putting on one of those acceptable masks that might be ready and stacked up next to the front door.  It'd be a place where you could be the best version of yourself that's both kind and open to kindness - lovingkindness.

Just for today...

"To me, maturity includes:  

• Accepting love from others, even if I'm having a tough time loving myself . . . 
• Having an opinion without insisting that others share it . . . 
• Forgiving myself and others . . . 
• Caring for people without having to take care of them . . . 
• Accepting that I'll never be finished - I'll always be a work-in-progress."  

Courage to Change (p. 63)

"My creator and I; Emote differently - Hormones make me; More like He."  Am I a Poet?

February 26th - Goodness

The story...

I experienced a wonderful day in my church community.  Why?  It may be that I, and my partner, were prepared for our role as children's leaders.  We led worship, learned about goodness, and worked out our faith together.  It might've also been the old friends that I met - one needed help and asked for it, one sincerely offered thanks, one reminisced about one who left us years ago, and others readily accepted heartfelt thankfulness messages.  I met four new people, while sharing a meal together, and the balanced conversation seemed to show genuine interest and kindness.  

Worship time was with kids rather than grownups.  We laughed, told stories about our lives, participated in the learning, clapped, and interjected praise too.  We heard a wonderful bible story about being a good neighbor.  The group included people who were different from most of us - that felt good.  We ended the time doing an art project alongside each other.  We sat side by side, brushing shoulders and elbows, while we turned our blank piece of paper into something that kind of matched our imagination.  Finally we broke our assembly and pulled away from togetherness - I looked back and thought "that's the way I want to live."

My project - my friends liked it - I liked theirs too.

Might the only church in town be more like that?  Hmm...

Just for today...

"If I urge someone to do what I think I would do in a similar crisis, and my advice is acted upon, the outcome may be an even greater tragedy, and I would be responsible for that . . . I do not know what course of action is right for anyone else. I can offer only comfort and compassion, and the good example of the life I am trying to build."  One Day at a Time (p. 57)

"Sometimes the forgiveness process fosters deeper unity and connection between people. Sometimes it points to the exit sign."  Hope for Today (p. 57)

"Shame is an excuse to hate ourselves today for something we did or didn't do in the past. . . . Today I will love myself enough to recognize shame as an error in judgement."  Courage to Change (p. 57)

"I'm with you; You're with me - Bigger together; Love worked out."  Am I a Poet?

February 24th - Let the good time roll...

The story...

When I was 19 years old, I recorded the The Cars song "Let the good times roll" consecutively until it filled both sides of a cassette tape.  From what I remember, it was the only song that anybody in my car listened to for at least a month.  Why not choose to always feel happy and surround yourself with others who were like minded?  I naively thought that I could choose, or control, the way I felt by using the song as a consistent reminder to stay in the "groove" - suppress those unwanted feelings!

During that same period, a psychologist, Paul Eckman, identified the following six basic emotions: happiness, sadness, disgust, fear, surprise, and anger.  It seems that I was trying to suppress conscious feelings of sadness, fear, disgust and anger as "we" listened to my tape. Why didn't the tape work?  I expect that our five senses trigger feelings - deeper down inside; emotions are triggered too.  That's a good thing since our emotions and feelings help us to make sense of what we both experienced and are experiencing.

As I age, I'm more "in tune" with my feelings and emotions - less static.  I'm more aware of how I feel regarding what I'm sensing.  I'm also better understanding my emotions too.  Growing in self awareness seems to be a worthy endeavor.  I spend less time belaboring, or recycling, feelings and emotions over, over and over...  It seems good to understand our feelings without quickly reacting - letting go of emotions before they become obsessive thoughts.  

How might the only church in town deal with the reality of people's feelings and emotions as they work out life together?  I've heard preachers say that facts should be the engine that drives our life "trains" and that feelings should stay back there in the caboose.  I expect that the community is harmed when people react quickly to their feelings, belabor obsessively over emotional issues, or focus on maintaining heightened emotions during group gatherings.  The group would likely function better if the leaders and the go-to people were emotionally intelligent.

Just for today...

"Let me learn to keep peace with silence when it is not the right time to say what comes to mind." One Day at a Time (p. 55)

"When I can't find a solution to a problem, when I have nagging doubts, fears, or frustrations, when I feel lost or confused, a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself can make a tremendous difference."  Courage to Change (p. 55)

"I wanna be a good character; in the game of life - Yet move awkwardly; trudging on my own."  Am I a Poet?

February 23rd - Invite me . . . please

The story...

Years ago, a young energetic man, who was new to our church community, invited me to play volleyball with a group of "our people" at the local beach.  I was part of the larger community for years and was surprised at such an enthusiastic invitation. I don't imagine that I would've attended my first meeting by way of a general community invitation.  The invitation seemed sincere - he seemed to really want me to join them.  What a wonderful summer group activity it was for 3 or 4 years - it ended with a knee problem and the group eventually did move on as most groups do. 

I need to be invited yet may reject the invitation.  How might we invite while minimizing the awkwardness of rejection?  I found this article 10 Ways to To Ask Someone To Hang Out (Without Being Awkward) helpful.

Will people need to be personally invited to engage within the only church in town?  Yes.

Just for today...

"Detachment is essential to any healthy relationship between people. Each of us is a free individual, with neither one in control of the other."  One Day at a Time (p. 54)

"Even as a child, I had grown up responsibilities, so it is no wonder that I grew up to be a caretaker.  It seemed so comfortable, so automatic to think of others first and to give myself completely to whatever crisis was at hand without a thought for myself. I no longer do things for others that they could do for themselves."  Courage to Change (p. 54)

"We're mutual detached; Free to grow - Being ourselves; Each living it."  Am I a Poet?

February 22nd - The incredible edible egg

The story...

The Egg Board advertised the value of the egg in a 1978 marketing campaign - "the incredible, edible egg."  Why would egg producers need to market the value of eggs?  Well, one large egg has about 186 mg of cholesterol, an interim-fasting diet may skip breakfast, and vegans view eggs as an animal product.  I remember my mother buying Carnation Instant Breakfast, in the 1960s.  They advertised it as the perfect breakfast for a really good day - and it tastes good too!  I also liked this milk-shake breakfast - for a season.

Two of my favorite civil war characters are Thomas (Stonewall) Jackson and Abraham (Abe) Lincoln. I understand that the typical "sustaining" diet for a soldier was about a pound of meat and a pound of bread or flour per day. Similarly, Abraham Lincoln had a simple diet and may have ate one boiled egg for breakfast when visiting the troops.  The egg seems like a good choice in a civil war camp - you could count on it being clean after you peeled off that natural protective shell.

Might the only church in town provide the food, or sustenance, for living a "good life."  Wendy's marketing campaign "where's the beef?" seems like an appropriate question to ask.  The only church in town may be known for offering the path to a "good life."  A path that's consistently walked with the light of the Word of God's illumination.  People would witness this good life in "actualities" and through real people with skin on them.  An advertising campaign wouldn't be necessary.

Just for today...

"In the grand scheme of things, no single decision is ever really that important.  I can do my best to make decisions wisely, but the results are in the hands of God."  Courage to Change (p. 53)

"Let me cultivate awareness of those around me; it is all the better for me, too, if I clarify my thoughts before I speak."  One Day at a Time (p. 53)

"Air fills lungs; Minds direct steps - Scripture opens veils; Glimpses of eternal."  Am I a Poet?

February 20th - Am I on a random walk?

The story...

There was a time when I searched Ebay to discover things that might sooth my unsettled inner man.  I liked the bidding process, the low personal investment, and the quest to win the prize.  One day, I found some "things" that seemed like a good fit.  A school was selling the motorcycles they used to train new riders. "Wow, this would be great, I could fix them up myself and share my passion for motorcycles with others."   I was more than a bit unsettled when we loaded them into the back of my truck.  The motorcycles should have been easy to rebuild but I had to face the reality that I was no motorcycle mechanic.  And, training others to ride on my motorcycles turned out to be a bad idea too.  Three months later, I helped a guy load them onto his truck - he seemed to have similar naïve notions.

How do I know if what I plan and do is within the will of God?  Am I behaving as if I'm on a random walk?  I expect that my walk along side others, within the only church in town, would be more purposeful and fruitful.  No matter what my "self" tries to tell me, I'm just not right walking on my own self-directed path. When I do so, my eyes are focused on me rather than others - that's not a satisfying way to be.

Just for today...

"I told myself I was homely, thoughtless, lazy, stupid.  I would never say those things to a friend.  I realized that until I started treating myself like a valued friend, I would be standing in the way of my own recovery."  Courage to Change (p. 51)

Micah 6:8

"I want it; I get it - It bores me; It goes away."  Am I a Poet?

February 18th - Try it on

The story...

Tens of years ago, I worked within an organization as a manager.  One year, the organization went through great pains to provide me, and my peers, with an actionable performance review through a process called 360-degree feedback.  One of the suggestions, for my personal growth, was to begin writing my own blog.  I was surprised by the suggestion and checked with my peers to see if they received the same advice.  No, it was just for me.  Why would I write a blog?  I already felt confident as a writer and communicator - how would spending time on a blog help me?   As I now know, I missed a great opportunity, like a valuable-unopened gift.  I was behaving like the guy who needs a new jacket yet critiques every one they see - never even bothering to try one on.

Are my suit coats boring or what?

I hope that the only church in town would maintain and share essential doctrine and way for being in a right relationship with God in Christ.  They'd offer the community opportunities to "try on" the new way of being and working out their faith - in reality.  Their source is God's revelations - trustworthy.

Just for today...

"I recognize the same shortcomings, in me, I once eagerly pointed out in others.  It is easier to accept the limitations of others when I acknowledge my own."  Courage to Change (p. 49)

"We may think we can change the things around us according to our desires, but when a solution does come, we find it was our desires that had changed."  One Day at a Time  (p. 49)

"I like it this way, he naturally says - It looks too good, it can't be real."  Am I a Poet?

February 16th - Habits

The story...

I'm a thankful leader, of a group of guys, within Bible Study Fellowship (BSF).  This non-denominational bible study organization encourages daily scripture reading and provides a common set of questions that guides small groups towards disclosure and self discovery.  Our group meets and shares weekly -  truly, the group is greater than the sum of it's parts.  My friends become less guarded as we share more of the reality of our lives and parts of our inner man too.  It's a good thing to be introspective with the "Light" of God's Word illuminating "What's really going on."  I truly agape love these men as we continue to learn who "we" are and grow stronger as a group.

In 2023, I read James Clear's book - Atomic Habits.  James shares how he started a blog to share how good habits drove positive change and real growth in his life.  People shared and taught each other. Yes, they grew together - hence the seeds for a top-selling book.  He includes the idea of stacking habits.  Stacking suggests that you add a new habit immediately following a habit that you already have and enjoy.  It seemed foolish to read a book on habits and not make a positive change in my own life.  So, I shared my commitment with my BSF group, I willed to do my BSF study work every day after I completed my daily WORDLE puzzle.  I was successful for about four months.  Did I falter and quit after four months?  Actually, to my surprise, my daily scripture reading is now a daily habit of its own, much like WORDLE.  It became part of the fabric of my life.

The only church in town would probably be non-denominational - reflecting the community.  Sub-groups of people would likely form.  These new groups would have the potential to grow together in ways that they never could have if they each stayed marooned on a island of their own making.

Just for today...

"We are only as sick as our secrets.  Until we let them out into the light, they keep us trapped."  Courage to Change (p. 47)

"We believe people discover their true purpose and identity by knowing God through His Word.  That is why BSF offers free, in-depth Bible studies in community for people of all ages around the world."  Bible Study Fellowship

"Love can only be kept by giving it away."  Merton, T. (1955). No man is an Island

"I ventured out; accepted by some - I retreated within; lonely and sad."   Am I a Poet?

February 13th - But we don't have to go anymore...

The story...

I moved to Duluth, MN, for one year, on a teaching assignment - yes, I've been a teacher.  UMD welcomed me; the students asked me to join them in the stuff that students like to do; the church pulled me into their family; and I lived in a small apartment.  One morning, the apartment manager asked me where I was going on the past Sunday morning.  I told her that I was walking to church.  She said: "I thought so, I saw you were carrying a bible."  She was perplexed and a bit frustrated - "You're a professor, you don't have family here, and you're free to do whatever you want.  Why would you go to church?  We used to have to do that here; but, not anymore - I'm free to do whatever I want."  I shared how it felt to be pulled into a welcoming church family who invited me into their homes and families.  I even played "broom ball" and fished with some of them - "I feel loved there."  She says: "huh, I might try church again." 

I don't think that the only church in town would spend much time reminiscing about the "good old days" when everybody was expected to go to church and try to behave morally right.  Teach me against my will and I'll be of the same opinion still - and likely continue to behave in ways that are more true to who I truly am deep down inside.  

 

Where the story played

Just for today...

"I tried to get God to listen to me through my prayers.  He did, once I stopped telling Him what to do."  Hope for Today (p.44)

"I didn't like myself because I wasn't living up to what I believed to be true about others."  Courage to Change (p. 44)

"Get yer own way, Yer stuck with you; Love together, We're a powerful force."  Am I a Poet?

February 12th - My way or His way?

The story...

"What if there was a place you could go, where there was no TV and you could break bread - anyone who you are sitting with was family."  Peggy Olson - Mad Men (S7:E6)  People like Don Draper and Peggy Olson are looking for love - to belong.  They're acting out their role, trying to scratch that constant itch - they know something's wrong; but, they hide it deep down inside.  They yearn for that person who might truly know them while remaining guarded and habitually attempting to sooth that unrelenting itch...  Maybe if we found that one right person . . . then we could work out "happy ever after" like Bud and Sissy: "Looking for love in all the wrong places ..."

Do you want to do it your way or His way?  Why do I do what I don't want to do?  The only church in town has answers.  Yet, scripture says it takes a mighty work from the Spirit of Christ to change a man's heart - his inner man.  Can you believe that God's gospel truth can be found in that one short creed that Christian representatives agreed to in 325AD?  That creed is surprisingly awesome.

Just for today...

"Detachment allows us to let go of our obsession with another's behavior and begin to lead happier and more manageable lives, lives with dignity and rights, lives guided by a Power greater than ourselves."  Courage to Change (p. 43)

"I wanna be true, to the man inside;  Wanna be better, I choose different."  Am I a Poet?

February 11th - Wisdom

 The story...

About thirty years ago, I heard a definition of wisdom that rang true to me.  It's still the best definition that I've heard - I've passed it on hundreds of times.  Wisdom is knowing where to go and how to get there.  We might all benefit by pondering this definition for awhile.  We need both the first and second parts to help us distinguish between wise and unwise paths.

Isaiah 6 recount's Isaiah's experience within the throne room of God.  Meeting God would surely be a good place to start when envisioning where we're going - towards the one Who created us and spoke the Truth for evaluating the quality of our lives.  The Nicene Creed, written in 325AD, gives the church a good starting place for agreeing on how we get there.  Collectively, a church may behave wisely - a continual process for each individual and a synergetic process for the community within the power of the Spirit of God.  

I'm thankful to have a congregation of Barred owls whose family has lived with us in the woods for at least 30 years.  They do have good qualities and seem wise - I like them a lot and they seem friendly.

Barred Owl

Just for today...

"I needed love before I even knew what it was.  By loving others, I learn to treat myself well." Courage to Change (p. 42)

"Woke up expecting good,  yet suffered throughout - A better creature tonight, inside and out."  Am I a Poet?

February 8th - What's Love 💖 Got to Do with It?

The story...

Many people are uncomfortable with the message "I love you."  There's a lot "packed" into the word "love" and it can obviously be misunderstood.  What do they mean and how does the love message receiver respond?  Ideally, would we be able to say "I love you" to most of the people attending the only church in town?  What does that kind of love look and feel like?  What's the source?  Is it something you feel, a measure of the quality of the relationship, or an experienced gift of God?  Is it a verb (something that you do) or a noun (something that you can fall in and out of)?

Before I was born, C.S. Lewis wrote the book The Four Loves and presented it on a radio broadcast in 1958.  I've listened to this broadcast on my CD's many times.  He provided four helpful definitions of love, from four Greek words, used to describe that one English word - LOVE.   Four types of love in a nutshell: Storge is a normal kind of affection or familiarity that's missed when it's not present; Philia is like friendship; Eros is the romantic type of love reserved for the "couples" who are absorbed in each other; Agape is the unconditional type of love similar to the love God offers us through His Son.  

Courtesy of Dunkin' Donuts

Will we truly find "agape" love within the only church in town?  It requires vulnerability with the ever present risk of being hurt, rejected, or even wounded with a broken heart. Yes, the only church in town would be characterized as one where the members were free to express agape love.

Just for today...

"In the past I focused on anyone but myself . . . trying to control the disorder, discomfort, and lack of safety and security of my own childhood."  Hope for Today (p. 39).

"It is unrealistic to expect everyone to like me."  Courage to Change (p. 39)

"You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind."  "You shall love your neighbor as yourself."  Matthew 22:37 (NASB)

"I risked love, my heart broke - He picked it up, formed Us anew."  Am I a Poet?

February 6th - From Imagination to Sketch

 The story...

What might the only church in town look like?  I asked a sketching-hobbyist friend to paint a one-church town.   She responded with questions regarding what I wanted it to look like.   I asked her not to bias or restrict her imagination - "Please sketch the purpose of the blog."  She agreed to draw her image; yet, seemed a bit uneasy regarding how "good" it would be - would it meet my expectations?  She did good...

I wonder if we'd more readily "draw" from our inner-person, soul, or heart, if we periodically did spiritual reality assessments.  It seems like we'd grow in self-awareness as we pray, quietly meditate, and bend our ear toward God.  Is this part of what it means to walk humbly with God?

Just for today...

"Troubles are opportunities to grow, to make us better, not bitter.  Rightly used, we can learn from them not to repeat our own mistakes."  One Day at a Time (p. 37)

"When in doubt, don't."  Courage to Change (p. 37)

"The idea played; it formed in my soul - The hand worked it out; "wow," it's new!"  Am I a Poet?

February 2nd - Hoping for Love

The story ...

I walked up to the door of my seventh-grade Sunday-school room.  The girl that I secretly loved was with a friend.  The friend asked me to show them my fingernails.  I paused before extending my open hand and fingers with my palm facing the linoleum floor.  They both broke out laughing - "you're like a girl!  Guys show their nails as a fist with palm up."  I was secretly crushed, likely tried to pretend I wasn't affected, yet my emotions must have betrayed my internal reality.  My secret search for love was publicly dashed.  I added a few plates to my personal armor to guard against that from happening again.  Oh... the pain of rejection - my wounded heart!

The church where the scene played out

How might the one church in town have helped?  My Sunday school teacher might have noticed a change in behavior.  Someone might have realized that I had no good friends at church.  As some aptly describe, I felt like I was alone on an island yet surrounded by people.  My parents forced me to go to some of the youth meetings - I didn't engage.  I became cynical and critical about the group that rejected me.  

In High School, I found a job that allowed me to miss every other Sunday service.  I tried to bring order and meaning into my life without God's help.  Was a right relationship with God and friends possible?

Thoughts for the day ...

"So I continued to hide and did not accept who I really was."  Hope for Today (p. 33)

"Today, being humble means climbing down from the ladder of judgement of myself and others, and taking my rightful place in a worldwide circle of love and support . . . My thoughts are my teachers.  Are they teaching me to love and appreciate others, or are they teaching me to practice isolation?"  Courage to Change (p. 33)

"Looked for love; in a loving sort of place -  hurt, guilt and shame; led me astray."  Am I a Poet?

January 31st - Daily Feet Washings

The story...

I've a hard time rubbing, let alone washing, my feet - I was born inflexible.  If I work at stretching for about six months, my "stretchability," is closer to normal.  Six months is six times longer than the one month it seems to take for my muscles to return back to their more normal state of inflexibility. 

Like many people, I was also born with a selfish sort of nature.  I cooperated with others while I focused on working out a safe and comfortable life that I was proud of.  Although I was primarily motivated by a need to be loved, I wanted to win in the game of life and associate with people who might help me along the way.  Since humans seem to all want the same "thing," I learned to be more flexible with my interpersonal interactions and relationships.

Strangely, even the Lord Jesus the Christ's disciples exhibited selfishness and pride as they argued about who was best at the last supper before Jesus was crucified (Luke 22:24).  Yes, we're prone to be selfish.  On the same night of the disciples argument, He knelt down and washed each of the twelve's feet.  When it was Peter's turn, he resisted this feet washing by his Lord.  Jesus replied "If I do not wash you, you have no part in Me" (John 13:8).  Maybe He's letting Peter know that he's clean yet needs to wash off the "dirt" of daily life to stay "clean" and rightly related to God through Him.  Jesus washed Peter's feet knowing, and sharing with Peter too, that Peter would publicly disown Him three times before the rooster crowed.  Yes, Peter would need his feet washed again.

Christ Washing the Disciples' Feet - Tintoretto 1548-1549

The only church in town will learn the need to live a righteous life in Christ.  One that's able to bear fruit in all circumstances - they way God worked out the perfect life in Jesus the Christ.  That means, for those with a nature like mine: confessing sin, washing dirt off my feet, and returning to that "right" relationship with our Holy Father through Christ.

Just for today...

"With a new and sincere humility, I asked God to remove my shortcomings . . . I want to be ready for shortcomings to be removed, and I will do what I can to prepare. I can develop a non-judgmental awareness of myself, accept what I discover, and be fully willing to change. But I lack the power to heal myself.  Only God can do that."  Courage to Change (p. 31)

"I washed my feet yet they're dirty again - slipped to my normal way;  It's lonely and anxious on my own - why have I left my Friend?"  Am I a poet?

January 29th - Was I nagging?

The story...

A fellow group member read from the Courage to Change daily reader which I've partially quoted below.  They made the claim, that they realized that their repetition of "advise," to those that they cared about, was really a thinly veiled attempt to fix, manage, and control the person whom they "cared" for.  The repeated messages implied that they didn't trust the "subject" with their own life.  Their relationship was like a co-dependent entanglement that stunted needed growth for both parties.

When I heard her share, I was quickly convicted of a self-defeating behavior.  Why did I continue attempts to drive home my messaging?  They may have missed what I said so I repeated it in a slightly different way or tone?  They didn't seem to receive it well so I made the appeal a bit more persuasive? They didn't give me the feedback that I expected so I repeated?  Yes, I was attempting to fix, manage, or control them and they likely tuned me out.  I expect that their options were to remain co-dependent on me or to act the "rebel" and reject me and my messaging.  Strangely, I frequently acted out the role of the "rebel" when confronted with efforts to control or manipulate me.

What did I truly want for those I cared for?  Did I want them to live protected lives, like in a "zoo," or to live freely in the "jungle" of the actualities of real life?  Are the controllers imagining the freedom of others like a sort of Tarzan - out of control and heading for disaster?

The only church in town will value people moving from dependence, on their care givers, to capable-independent adults.  Clearly, moving from dependence to independence is good, yet we aren't complete on our own - the only church in town will profess the value of living in community.  The community that God offers, in-Christ, has been essential for this rebel's transition from a self-protecting/promoting one to a fruit-bearing life.  I'm free from the bondage of my old self in Christ - I will not to live in a self-protecting "cage" again.  Why would I strive to cage another?

Just for today...

"If I repeatedly make similar suggestions or ask prodding questions again and again, I am probably trying to control. If I am satisfied only when the other person responds in a way I consider desirable - agrees with what I've said or takes my advice - then I know I've lost my focus."  Courage to Change (p. 29)

"I have no right to deprive anyone else of the challenge of meeting his own responsibility."  One Day at a Time (p. 29)

"It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery."  Galatians 5:1 (NASB)