January 22nd - Favorite old pants...

The story...

Meet my favorite pants.  They're old, frayed, stained, fit right, sturdy, unlabeled, and drab.  I can do most anything wearing these pants; though, they aren't welcome where people expect me to "dress for the occasion."  I've purchased replacements; but, they didn't seem the same.  I like that old and familiar heavyweight-duck-canvas cotton and the stains and frays too.

Will there come a day when I must get rid of the pants?  We all know the answer although I sometimes pretend otherwise.

I wonder where my old pants will go today?  Will I put them in the Aquatic Center locker to wait while I swim?  Will they participate in replacing the faucet and trying again to fix the Impala's power seats? Will I put a nicer shirt on and wear them to my men's group tonight?  Will I hang them up next to my dress pants - NO!  They don't have to look nice - I like 'em just the way they are.

You may feel a need to dress up, to be a better version of yourself, when you attend the only church in town.  Yet, God is graceful and desires a relationship with you as you that is - humble, honest, okay and unpretentious.  Remember, He is the one Who created you as you are.  He makes no mistakes and has offered the way to atone for your sin defects through our Lord Jesus the Christ's sacrifice.

No, I likely won't wear these pants to a Sunday Morning Service.  And, I do enjoy cleaning up and wearing pants with fewer defects when worshipping, praising, learning, and fellowshipping together.  Yes, it sure is great to know that I'm loved by Him - just as I am.

Just for today...

"What we pray for may not be what is best for us. We are only able to see a little way, and our vision is clouded by our present situation and daily happenings and distractions."  One Day at a Time (p. 22)

"I focused on the character defects of those around me. My need to be perfect fed into my preoccupation with others . . . I am still learning to treat myself with gentleness, kindness, and love. I'm still learning that I cannot change those around me, but I can change how I treat them - with dignity and respect."  Hope for Today (p. 22)

"When I found him on the floor, I still didn't help him into bed. But I did put a blanket over him before stepping over his body and going to bed myself. This, to me, was detachment with love."  Courage to Change (p. 22)

"As I am; He saved me - Redeemed position; His to be."   Am I a Poet?

January 21st - Who's your daddy?

The story...

Thankfully, my back surgeon recommended Celebrex, epidural steroid injections and therapy, rather than surgery.  I hoped to return my body to a more normal "I can go an do what I want to" state.   The Celebrex and the injections reduced inflammation allowing the therapy to work for two years.

"What physical therapist would you recommend in my home town?"  They didn't have a recommendation - they gave me a prescription for either four or six weeks and said we'll meet again in four months.  I took a look at the therapy room in the Aquatic Center, where I'd been swimming for about two months, and scheduled an appointment with the only therapist there.  

After meeting with the young-woman therapist for two weeks, my interactions and results surpassed my expectations.  I didn't choose her, I chose the location and facility.  I trusted her and did, pretty much, everything she told me to do.  "We" worked on limitations that affected me throughout most of my life.  I was so optimistic - "Yahoo!"

If I were to have selected a therapist from a candidate lineup, I likely wouldn't have selected her.  I might've looked at age, sex, height, personality, education, experience...   I'm so thankful that I came in with a need, was honest in every interaction, sought to understand before being understood, listened to her diagnosis rather than my own related thoughts, and trusted her.  Yes, I didn't want to be naive; so I tested her a couple of times and each time her response confirmed that she was capable and had my best interest at heart.  She's a human with limited understanding but I relied on her to get better.  She sought to understand me better and set expectations of a sustainable solution that might work with my habits, preferences, life style, and hopes for the future.

Whose your daddy?

I especially liked her direct style of communication and therapy interventions during our 1/2 hour appointments.  She appeared to be committed to helping me regardless of my responses and peculiarities.  I'm so... thankful for her.  Maybe, when I grow up, I can be more like her? 😊

The only church in town's object of faith will be their Messiah, their Lord and Savior Jesus the Christ whose great sacrificial work saved me from the sin penalty that kept me away from my God and Father.  I'm right with God due to what He did for me.  I'm right with God forever in Christ.  There's a lot packed into those sentences.  Why not go to the only church in town and experience more of what's really going on now and forevermore?

Just for today...

"It is only by taking offense at what others do that I will be afflicted with resentment. If I feel that what I am doing is right, I will not be dependent on the admiration or applause of others."  One Day at a Time (p. 21)

"I could never tell the difference between what was and was not my business. I felt I had to take care of everyone around me until I couldn't stand it any more."  Courage to Change (p. 21)

"Needed help; Trusted her - Felt relief; Grew up."   Am I a Poet?

January 19th - Virtual bars of guilt and shame

The story...

When I was little guy hanging onto my mother's dress in the grocery store, I was tempted to take a piece of penny candy from one of those huge bins.  One day I made the decision, let go of my momma's dress, looked around, picked up the candy, stuffed it in my pocket, and sweated through the long checkout line.  That is the first deliberate sin that I remember.  I felt guilt and shame - it certainly didn't end there.

Where's the record of the good and bad that I'm responsible for?  God is all knowing; the government keeps a record; the old performance reviews are archived or trashed; some people have a fuzzy sense of opinion along with memories of a few critical incidents; yet, most of it remains within my own psyche.  Some memories might trigger needed forgiveness and restoration; yet, most of them are self imposed guilt and shame that's rotting somewhere within the back of my mind.  Might the joke be on us for holding on, suppressing, reinterpreting, or periodically magnifying the not-so-good parts of us?

The only church in town will preach and teach that sin is a impenetrable barrier between us and God.  In fact, His Word says that we can't have a right relationship with Him due to our sin.  Worse yet, there's nothing we can do about it - we were born that way.  We must be reborn spiritually - old man dead and our new man positioned "in Christ."  This "Good News" is good because God provided the way to be restored both for this life and for all eternity too - true freedom from the penalty of sin.  He did the heavy lifting - we need to believe Him, trust Him, and live that truly good life in Christ.

Just for today...

"I used to live in my own little prison, locked in by my feelings of hatred and shame. Now I'm free."  Hope for Today (p. 19)

"Today I seek to become a little more accepting of myself, a little more comfortable in my own skin . . . I will remember to be gentle with myself today, trusting that the healing will come." Courage to Change (p. 19)

"Now there was a man of the Pharisees, named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews; this man came to Jesus at night and said to Him, “Rabbi, we know that You have come from God as a teacher; for no one can do these signs that You do unless God is with him.” Jesus responded and said to him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless someone is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.”  John 3:1-3 (NASB)

"I took; I hurt - I tried; I failed."
"Hidden loneliness; Shunned light - Believed God; Grew up."   Am I a Poet?

January 16th - Rightly doing the right thing

The story...

The snow was deep, the temperature was cold, and there were 18 deer outside our house - I'd seen more.  They seem to be eating some plants that they didn't eat in the past - they're hungry.  They're reaching higher on the bushes and even nibbling on the Myrtle ground cover.  I was told that the neighbor who fed the deer died in the past year - the DNR notified her, a few months before she died, that she must stop feeding them.  

There are reasons for not feeding the deer and the DNR was right for enforcing the law; yet, the problem remains.  Years ago, I chose to stop getting angry at deer for eating or people for feeding.  Being angry seems to just leave you angry with damage to your heart both literally and figuratively.  Who wants to be an angry man?  I could nag at the authorities, complain along with my neighbors, shoosh the deer away each time they threaten my landscape...   I don't know what's best for the deer over-population situation and don't plan on developing my own personal opinion that I'll defend against all others.  As a citizen of my Township, I did discuss the situation with authorities, learned about available solutions, and found out what deer control plans were underway.

Our neighborhood deer on a better day

I'm glad I took the time to "Think" about the deer problem that day.  My course of action seemed reasonable and right according to the principles that I lived by - the type of decisions that seem to define us.  The only church in town will live by principles revealed within the Word of God - they were established by the One who created the earth, the cold, the deer, and me too.  I plan on living my life out according to those principles alongside my neighbors within the only church in town.

Just for today...

". . .  when my opinion about another person's business has not been requested, I take the time to "Think" before getting involved."  Courage to Change (p. 16)

"Where it goes; Nobody knows - Creator trust; Frees His."   Am I a Poet?

January 15th - Protect by worrying in advance? Really?

The story...

There's a news show on TV and people I care about are "kind of" watching it.  The broadcaster is tainting the news coverage in a way that seems partial and unfair to me.  I quickly interrupt the coverage, from another room, to bring attention to the bias.  I don't want them to be misguided and swayed to think like the crowd.  I certainly don't want to have future arguments with them about the subjects.   Why do I resist "allowing" them to have the freedom to be themselves?  Are they capable of wading through the partial truths and popular opinions?  Yes, I've tried to guide their thoughts, behaviors, and beliefs.   Might my underlying motive be to push them to thank and be more like me? 

My actions do suggest that they aren't capable of living out, or interpreting, their lives without me.  I expect that they know this and often liken my interfering voice as a clanging gong or loud droning sound.   They  probably wish I'd respectfully let them be - think and live on their own.  I might be exaggerating to make the blog more interesting; but, I know it's been true and am thankful I've been growing to be more okay with me and others too.

Are you trying to get somebody to behave in a way to help you?  If so, that should be a glaring red "stop" light.

Within the only church in town, there'll be popular opinion and campaigns to push congregants to agree with...   A primary function of the church is to clearly preach, teach, and work out the Word of God into the actualities of our lives.  Other times, there'll be "righteous" noises that divide, drive strong emotions, and end up with more guarded, separated, and lonelier people.  When that becomes more the norm, it seems that their ears and hearts might not be as open to receive the Word of God - that'd be tragic.

Just for today...

"I was busy projecting a horrible outcome to my loved one's crisis and dreading the ways in which the consequences might affect me . . . Part of me gambles that by worrying in advance, bad news will be easier to face if it comes.  But worrying will not protect me from the future."  Courage to Change (p. 15)

"Admired life; Esteemed way - They're mine; Hope much."
"Trouble weighs; Ain't best - Sanctifying suffering; Being His."   Am I a Poet?

January 14th - Our palette's psyche - object of our faith

The story...

The idea for this blog, written for 365 consecutive days, occurred in January 2023. It "popped" into my psyche as I was driving to church with the woman whom I love.  Then it occurred to me that I could do this . . . yes, me.  Writing a chunk of my life story, making sense of it, applying good life principles and practices, and imagining how they might work out within a hypothetical "only church in town." "I've benefited greatly from daily readers. This is a really good idea.  I think I'll recommend this for..."  

Yes, an idea had fully developed into a worthy life-giving and life-altering whole thing within the palette of my psyche.  It appeared to be helpful for both me and those within my circle of concern.  I had the resources and the capability to carry it out - it was clearly doable.  Yet, 365 consecutive days was too much to hope for - surely I'd run out of story and find myself staring at a blank screen.  I'm so thankful that I shared my idea with the close friend, who I originally thought might be capable of working out this undertaking, and he encouraged me to get started.  Then, I shared the idea with a group of supporting guys and they also encouraged me to work this worthy endeavor into reality.  So, I took the first step and began my journey.  I'm so... thankful that my friends encouraged me to make the decision to move forward - step by step.

Artist's Palette (U.S. National Park Service)

What if I fail?   I will to replace my "what ifs" with  "even ifs."   It does take faith to live out that good life that we long for.  Why faith?   My hope is anchored within the promises and actions of That Than Which There is No Greater.

The only church in town will share how God provided a way for His creatures to become right with Himself - our most holy, righteous and loving Father.  Christ, and His great atoning sacrificial work, will be the object of their faith  And, the grace that each receives will be worked out together within their pilgrimages toward that celestial city.  

Just for today...

"By letting go of this battle we were sure to lose, we became free." Courage to Change (p. 14)

"If I was hurtful, and I make excuses to myself for what I did, I am building a second wall between me and the person I injured. Let me tear the first wall down by being honest and honestly acknowledging my fault."  One Day at a Time (p. 14)

"Only imagined; What may be - Stepped out; Began to see."
"Veiled onset; Lifted high - Heart loved; Knowing why."    Am I a Poet?

January 13th - "He wept"

The story...

During 2023/2024, my best friend and I studied, a book called "John" as part of a larger group.  John's the author of the book and, arguably, the best friend of the Man he's writing about.  John tells the Man's story in a way that only a best friend, and eye witness, could.  The protagonist of the story's mother was Mary and His father is claimed to be God Himself.  Yes, He claimed, and provided evidence, that God was His Father.  The Man, John wrote about, is referred to by many names; no one name seems to capture all of who He was and is.  In chapter 11, the Man is walking with His close friends toward a town called Bethany.  He's going to see two sisters and their brother - John says the Man loved the three.  The women's brother died and they were filled with grief.  They believed this Man's father was God himself, and hoped that He would heal their brother.  When He witnesses grief emoting from the women, John says "He wept."

I can related to this story - intellectually and emotionally.  The day I spoke at my mother's memorial service "I wept."  I continued to weep, at unexpected times, for week(s) - I loved my momma so... much.

The only church in town will share how this man, Lazarus, was raised from the dead just a few months before his Savior's blood was shed, body buried, and body resurrected by His power.   Strangely and wonderfully, scripture confirms that we can be spiritually co-crucified, and co-risen from the dead to live rightly with God, in Christ, now and forever.   Man, that's good news!  Hey, why not read the book of John today?

Today, I stand thankful for my faith in Christ and for the love of my momma too.

Just for today...

"Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me."  Revelation 3:20 (NASB)

"Do I secretly relish feeling sorry for myself and want sympathy from others?"  One Day at a Time (p. 13)

"Once upon a time I was afraid to live life for myself. This was because I did not know how to do it and thought that there was no one to show me."  Courage to Change (p. 13)

"Show me how; To live good - What to do; How I should."
"God saved me; Loved me so - Whole in Christ; This I know."   Am I a Poet?

January 11th - Accepted just as I am

The story...

Please read the welcoming statement that I delivered at my mother's memorial service.  The service occurred Saturday, January 13th, 2024, at 2:00pm.

"Welcome to this service where we will be honoring and celebrating the life of our mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, and friend.  Each of our relationships with her was different yet she significantly affected us all.  We’ll all have a chance to share our own experiences either within the service or with each other.  For me, a momma’s boy, she showed a loving sort of grace throughout all my comings and goings.  She was the only person, with skin on ‘em, that loved me no matter what.  Even when she didn’t like what I was doing or saying, I could get up close, smile, stare into her pupils, kiss her hand, and spread my arms out wide and she would drop her airs, smile and we were okay together.  I witnessed grace consistently, only from my momma.  I mean no disrespect to any of you who love me - it was just different with my Mother.  With everybody else, it’s been kind of conditional.  And today we’ll be praising God for the grace that was extended to my Momma, by God, through the great work of Christ when He shed his blood for the forgiveness of our sins that once separated us from God.  Her faith rested in God and not in herself - in the last years she prayed frequently for His help to endure a struggle like standing up from a chair.  That’s why I’m wearing this red tie - to remind us of the blood of Christ - the only reason I and you are right with God."

You can find unconditional love within the only church in town - throughout this life and infinity.

"To infinity and beyond!"

Just for today...

"I am accepted just as I am. I never have to pretend, or wear a mask over my feelings . . . In my new family, love is not a point system. I don't have to earn love from others - it's given freely as a gift."  Courage to Change (p. 11)

"Gift given; Friendship core - Detached souls; Wanting more."
"Need redeemer; God's grace - In Christ; Eternal pace."     Am I a Poet?

January 10th - Anchored in the present

The story...

Thankfully, I've learned the value of focusing on, and being more aware of, the present - where life actually occurs.  Our bodies sense what's going on now even though the cause of the sensation is likely rooted in the past.  We can read about God and our spirit can sense His Spirit in us - in the present.  He intervenes - His Spirit is present while we quietly pray or meditate.  We've reasons to expect what will happen in the future; yet, each new day's unknown.  How many end-of-day thoughts are:  "I never would've expected that?"  Yes, we'll all experience and recall each day in different ways.  Oh... to be more in synch with others, listening, to grow our understanding of "what's going on?"

One day, I wrote what I planned to say at my Momma's memorial service. Almost all of my parent's descendants attended that memorial service.  Congregates were asked to focused on the past, and remember, some of who she was amongst them.  All had lost a relationship - a chunk of who they were and a partial cause of who'll they be.  Yes the "we" is valuable and and a more complete perceptive than the limited "me." 

I believe I spoke from my heart.  I desired to project my love for my momma; each and every family member; and for "That Than Which there is No Greater," our God, our Creator, our Savior.  Maybe we left the memorial service with a better understanding of the wonderfully-different people that make up the "we" of family.

When you walk through the doors of the only church in town, you'll have the opportunity to leave the distractions of the world, your community, your home, and the cares of the world outside.  There'll be opportunities to focus on the present - the spiritual reality that's true in the present and future.  The congregation will be a wonderful "we" who share a common faith in our common Creator, Lord, and Savior.

Maybe there's a way to integrate "we" into a favorite motto for my living a good life?   "Live for today, plan for tomorrow and think on eternity."

Just for today...

"To break the cycle of worry and fear, I'm learning to focus all my attention on this very moment . . . These bits of reality help rescue me from "what ifs" and "should haves" by anchoring me in the present."  Courage to Change (p. 10)

"Felt deeply; Aroma sweet - Touch of hand; Heart beat."
"Maybe love; Passing whim - Thirsty need; To know Him."   Am I a Poet?

January 9th - Letting others, within our circle(s) of concern, be...

The story...

If I could go back in time, how would I intervene, with the younger version of me, in order to avoid some of the trouble and brokenness that came my way?  I'm not sure if I'd want advice from a meddlesome-future version of me.  I might've told him to mind his own business and leave me alone to work out my own life.  If I'm not sure that I would want to "try" to change me, then why have I tried to fix, manage, and control other people?

If I could turn back time

Do I need all the people within my circle of concern to feel, and be, okay in order for me to be okay?  If so, I'll never be okay.  Am I responsible for the aims and choices of those people within my circle of concern?  Certainly not!  Is my need to share my life experiences a misplaced onus for desiring to control their lives so that I can feel better about me and my life?  Maybe...  

It would be great if the only church in town was your "ideal" church - it won't be.   Just go already and begin walking according to God's revealed truth along with other pilgrims - a better future, beyond your imagination, awaits.

Just for today...

"Once I was able to see my suffering as my own reaction to others, I could begin to identify my contribution to the problem. Sometimes my part is bringing up something that was better left unsaid, or starting a serious conversation at an inappropriate time. Other times my part is harboring unrealistic expectations. When I see my part in the pattern, I can choose a response other than suffering. There is no need for me to suffer because of the behavior of others."  Hope for Today (p. 9) 

"It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery."  Galatians 5:1 (NASB)

"But when the applause of others becomes the reason for my behavior and necessary for me to feel satisfied, then I have given them power over me."  Courage to Change (p. 9)

"Prayer waned; Worry stepped in - Fix everybody; Manipulative sin."
"Better me; What they need - Loved & loving; Starter seed."    Am I a Poet?

January 7th - Be other than what others say

The story...

My mother didn't like the way my beard looked.  For many years, I grew a beard during the fall and shaved it on my Mother's birthday in the spring.  Often when she saw my beard she'd almost automatically say something like: "You look like some kind of dummy with that on! . . . Why don't you shave that off? . . . You look so good without it, why in the world would you do something like that? . . .  Do you know what you look like?"  She may have delivered the same message in a more polite way like:  "If it's all the same with you, would you put on this "mask" so that you can be the person I imagine you to be?"

We all receive messages about us either directly or indirectly.  These messages can lead us to question or defend our imaginary self-image - the one we internalize and project to others.  In response, we may: deny the message and discredit the sender, seek out another who'll offer the praise that our "self" desires, sulk, fight, or even conform to the image that the "group" has for us.  Might we might pop our imaginary bubble and start over with a truer self-image?

The only church in town will offer a new self image that's based on what, and who, God says we are and what we might be.  Surely, there will be some people who are acting out a "good" role.  They may even offer us a mask to "try" on so that we might conform to "their" image of what a Christian is.  I hope that we offer the mask givers grace; but, trash the mask and act out our faith in reality. 

My mother passed away from this life in January 2024 and is now with her Savior and Lord. She loved and hoped the best for me - just the way I was.  I'm so thankful for the many ways she expressed her love to me throughout my first 65 years. I continue to thank God for her - I'm an orphan now but not on my own.

Just for today...

"I care enough about myself to take a quiet half hour to relax. But if a half hour is more than I can manage, I can let that be alright. Whatever time I give to myself will be a step forward. If I can stop the wheels from turning for even a few moments, God can take charge and steer me in the right direction."  Courage to Change (p. 7)

"Nothing can hurt me unless I allow it to. When I am pained by anything that happens outside of myself, it is not that thing which hurts me, but the way I think and feel about it . . . 'God teach me to detach my mind form what others say and do, except to draw helpful lessons and guidance from them.'"  One Day at a Time (p. 7)

"Ten-minute prayer; Way to much - Forgo His blessing; Act as such."
"Abide with Him; Throughout my day - Victory won; Self Thee slay."   Am I a Poet?

January 5th - Close Friendships are Worthy - "muchness"

The story...

I met a friend in a coffee shop that baked wonderfully large and tasty cookies.  The refillable-ceramic coffee mug; throngs of conversationalists huddled closely together; and the big cookie; all feel like "muchness" to me.  "Muchness" is a British romantic word meaning greatness in quantity and degree - it's a really good word to me.

My friend updated me on the reality of his life; in turn, I did the same.  We didn't need to plan what to say - our relationship was big enough to build onto.  It sure helps to have a listening ear that seeks to understand both my message and me.  Our past interactions led me to believe that he truly had my best interest at heart.  When I tell a story, that doesn't seemed to be aligned with who he knows me to be, he challenged me in a kind sort of way.  This close relationship thing is real good.  I'm not so naive to think that he's fully engaged in all my stories; yet, I know he wants to be.  We grow together as we share our stories - that's real good, and I value him and our relationship, greatly.

Clare Ansberry made reasonable claims about the amount of time it takes to develop a close friendship within her 1/02/24, Wall Street Journal, article: "It Takes at Least 200 Hours to Make a Close Friendship, and More to Maintain It."  My personal experience suggests that her claims have face validity. 

The only church in town will offer opportunities to discover people who are similar enough to you that you might take the risk of investing the 200+ hours, to develop that close friendship.  Expect the process to take years rather than weeks.  These relationship endeavors are worthy.  C.S. Lewis said in his book "The Four Loves:"  "Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”   For me, close friends are a key part of the good life - muchness.

Just for today...

"Am I trying to interfere with the natural consequences of a loved one's choices?  Am I trying to do for someone what they could do for themselves?"  Courage to Change (p. 5)

"Unless I am at peace with the child of God I am, I cannot love and help my neighbor. Regrets are vain. They can interfere with the good I could do today, the making of the better person."  One Day at a Time (p. 5)

"Muchness desires; Way to be - Living large; Dreamin ta see."
"Reality challenge; Thus you share - Our destiny; To beware."
"God's revelation; Way beyond me - Lived out; Become We."    Am I a Poet?

January 3rd - Cycles of continual improvement - growth

The story...

The nation of Israel's history reads like continuing cycles of restoration to a more right relationship with God.  They drifted away from what they were told and experienced great pain in separation; though, reconciliation was good.  I've heard it said that they might be a good picture of a strengthening, growing, and lasting marriage too.  People's self-focused natures tends to pull them apart; but, the marriage commitment helps restore the relationship - over and over again.  Each restorative cycle often grows both marriage partners and their relationships with God too.

I'm so thankful for my marriage partner and the personal growth that we've experienced together and individually too.  Similarly, this kind of growth can happen within the only church in town -continual cycles of pain, love experienced, and restoration.  Yes, suffering, pain and brokenness often seem to be precursors for real and sustainable change cycles over time - growth.  

Just for today...

"I can do nothing to change the past except stop repeating it in the present . . . Taking some tiny action each day can be much more effective than weeks and months of inactivity followed by a frenzied attempt to make radical changes overnight."  Courage to Change (p. 3)

"Each minute, each hour, each day, I smile a little more, let go of yesterday a little more, and live in today a little more."  Hope for Today (p. 3)

"Self-made mess; Change da way - Loved and loving; Live each day."   Am I a Poet?

January 2nd - God's intervention clarifying expectations

The story...

In 1980, I expected to: begin a career as a sales engineer selling industrial robots; marry within a couple years; invest my growing capital in corporations for continual wealth growth; buy a house; drive a convertible; experience adventurous vacations; have four kids; and continue to live out a rebellious sort of ideals - to be free.  In 1981, reality went differently than I expected.  It was as though God pulled, maybe yanked, me in His direction.  When were those key points when God seemed to directly intervene?

Here's my take on the key related factual events, listed chronologically by my age:

8.  Walked to front of neighborhood-children-evangelistic meeting and accepted Jesus the Christ as my Savior.

15. Lost and alone in the dark canoeing in the Boundary Waters, MN.  I promised to dedicate my life to God if He saved me from my predicament - I saw the light of the campfire less than one minute after making my commitment to Him.

16. Worked every other Sunday and drifted away from attending church services.

18. Fully engaged in a self-absorbed college life and stopped attending church.

22. After a period of brokenness, I read the four gospels and was surprised to learn God's story in Christ - new good news to me. Miraculous auto accident avoidance and three incredibly unlikely personal interactions with those who I now believe to have been directed by the Spirit of God.  Steve and Marlene invite me to church - I said yes.

23. Moved to Knoxville, TN and people directly intervene in my life.  They seem to've been led by the Spirit of God.  They lead me to study the Word of God - believe and "be" differently.

26. Dejected by seemingly unbearable "religious'" expectations for "trying" to live a "Christian" life.  Bill Job explains the grace of God - God works out all that's good and that I was identified with Christ and right with God solely by what Christ did for me.

28. We attend a dispensational church that more rationally interpreted God's provisions for we gentiles -  Pauline theology.  We were fully engaged in bible study and the church.

40. Kid(s) resent being told how to be good by following religious practices and principles.  They expose the difference between what we said and did - they also wanted to be free of religion.  A hyper-grace like message seemed to allow the freedom for us to walk a more "sinful" path while under the protective umbrella of the grace of God.  My prayer life might've revealed the problem.

60. Brokenness again leads me to more honestly assess my life and faith walk.  I develop more honest and close relationships while working out my faith in the Light.  I disengaged from those trying to "run" the church and gave up "trying" to be good.  I stopped attempting to fix, manage, and control other people according to what I thought was best.  Trusted by placing my hopes for me and others in the "hands of God."  My life actually began to "bear" fruit that both I, maybe others too, enjoyed.  

The only church in town will lead you to God through His Word.  They'll direct you to God's revelation of how we can have a right relationship with our Holy Creator.  They'll believe the Gospel truth of what God's already done for us in Christ.  Our work is to believe (John 6:29).

Just for today...

"... it is our expectations, not our loved ones, that have let us down . . . learn to treat our needs as important and appropriate, and to treat ourselves as deserving . . . if we stop insisting that our needs be met according to our will, we might discover that all the love and support we need is already at our fingertips."   Courage to Change (p. 2)

"I will not fall in with . . . craving for punishment to relieve his or her guilt. I will not scold and weep, for it will not overcome the difficulties that we are trapped in . . . I pray that I may stop and think before I do or say anything whatever."  One Day at a Time (p. 2)

"'Look back without staring.' As long as I kept staring at my past without experiencing my feelings about it, I stayed mired in fear, resentment, and self-pity . . . Only after I stopped long enough to feel my anguish, bitterness, and emptiness could I let them go and move ahead."   Hope for Today (p. 2)

"Five senses; Limited view - Spiritual truth; Reveal anew."   Am I a Poet?

January 1st - Journey to Better Times

The story...

I've made a new years resolution that signaled hope for more and better fruit to be born from my life and from those within my circle of concern too.  The resolution was doable and built on truth.  I found it to be true in my earlier years and knew it was likely to build better personal character traits.   It was a good place on the morn of this first day of ...

You gotta leave this to go for that.  "This" is normal even if it ain't comfortable.  "That" is like "two birds in a bush" - we may want to hang onto "this" in our hand.  For me, it's been easier to change after I've had the opportunity to verbally appraise the current situation with a friend.  Maybe this kind of life assessment happens for many on the last day of December prompting new-years resolutions on January 1st.  A quick internet search estimates that <10% of Americans follow thorough on their new-years resolutions.  Given my resolution choice, I expect an 80% probability of success.  Why not?

For me, my resolution will help me grow my personal character, relationships and faith.  And, the "doing" of my resolution should result in my holding "things" and the "cares of this world" more loosely.  How about your change resolution?

The only church in town will "generally" be a God's Word knowing, faithful, honest, helping, and loving group of people.  Our idealistic picture of what that one church might be will be wrong.  Why?  We'll find the wide range of personalities, capabilities, knowledge, coping mechanisms, life stories, shame, guilt, pride, and fruit-bearing capabilities there.  The relationships that you might find there are part of the good stuff in life where real personal and spiritual growth might be cultivated.  I hope that you make a resolution to become more involved within your church community.  Maybe you'll expect less and live being thankful for what you receive.  Please accept my happy new-years wishes.

Just for today...

"We all have dark times in our lives, but the journey to better times is often what makes us happier, stronger people. When we stop expecting instant relief, we may come to believe that where we are today is exactly where God would have us be."  Courage to Change (p. 1)

"They see themselves in me, I see myself in them, and we learn to love and accept each other and ourselves."  Hope for Today (p. 1)

"I have authority over no life but my own."  One Day at a Time (p. 1)

"Me like Him; Partially so - Us like Him; More to know."   Am I a Poet? 

December 31st - Hoping future's good - doing our part

The story...

Twenty four has been my favorite number for as long as I can remember.  The number feels even, comfortable, and strangely offered an optimistic spin for that year.  The Ford Motor Company built our new Ford Maverick pickup truck during the last week of January and I planned to Uber drive that spring.  While Uber driving, I hoped to meet, serve, and care for people as I helped them reach their destinations.  Yes, I planned to do my part toward making 2024 a good-to-great year.

My new years resolution was to pray, followed by meditation, for at least ten minutes per day for 100 consecutive days.  Why?  A good friend did something similar, I had the power to make the change happen, and the life change seemed to offer only upsides.

Did I track my progress?  Yes, I wish that I didn't need to record actualities but my old habits are of a stubborn sort.  I willed to practice and sustain this good-living habit.  In reality, my prayer and meditation life drifted to a more normal state that seemed to fit me better.  I repeatably learn that I do not know what's best for the future me.  Often, I'm surprised at what the good life looks like on me.

The only church in town will share about God's promises for a relationship with Him that trusts in His provision.  Prayer and quietly listening is part of that relationship.

Happy new year friends!

Just for today...

"The new year which lies before me has no time for futile regrets. I will live one day at a time, making each one better than the last, as I grow in confidence and faith."  One Day at a Time (p. 366)

"Have I thanked that person for all they've given me? Have I recognized my growing ability to love and trust others?"   Courage to Change (p. 366)

"Envied theirs; I'd see - Thanked God; Became me."
"We're better; I'm okay - Trusting God; His say."   Am I a Poet?

December 30th - Suffering makes new?

The story...

Physical limitations forced me to adapt to new realities.  Emotional, mental and spiritual processes took place.  Each time, I grieved the losses before I accepted my new condition and moved on.  Later, I enjoyed my new environments, habits, activities, and relationships that're part of a changed life.  It seems that may retain memories of the past and enjoy new learnings and blessing too.  Is it possible that physical limitations force me to change and grow in new, good, and important ways?  

The only church in town will teach you how Abraham, Gideon, and David died at ripe old ages.  I assume that being ripe means having fully experienced what life had to offer - gifted resources put to use.  Maybe we'll take our life experience, trusting God, on into eternity - seems right.

Just for today...

"The unpleasant things other people say or do have no power to destroy my peace of mind or ruin my day unless I permit it . . . I suspect I may have benefited from my pain. But those benefits are no longer worth the prices . . . There is a beautiful person within me who has no need to build an identity around suffering . . . I won't waste another moment feeling sorry for myself."  Courage to Change (p. 365)

"I don't have to do or fix everything."  Hope for Today (p. 365)

"Suffered then; Made new - Remember then; Are now."    Am I a Poet?

December 27th - Shared stories

The story...

By taking the time to care and listen, I heard what it was like to be flogged as punishment for violating a middle-eastern law by carrying a 3.4 oz. bottle of alcohol.  Men have told me what it's like to worship the sun, Mohammad, Buddha, and their Messiah in many different ways.  People who worship God charismatically have been willing to discuss the reality when they were less guarded and more trusting.  A man shared what it was like to only remember clearly what'd happened about 60 years ago or before.  A 30-year-old woman explained what it was like to be an illegal immigrant from Russia while we recreated on a boat in Texas - they were required to read classic literature in Russian high schools.  A landlord explained what it was like to be free from the obligations of the Lutheran church in Duluth, MN - she had a hard time believing that I chose to go church when no one would know the difference.  A woman shared how it felt to be excommunicated from her church in Tennessee for cutting her hair.  Many older people have described how their more honest assessment of their self and humble worship and trusting in God's provision have brought contentment and peace in situations that I do not want to experience.  A Buddhist professor explained how he valued the contentment afforded by not perceiving situations as either good or bad.  All of these conversations are precious to me and are part of the width, length and height of my story too.

It's a privilege to seek to understand another person in conversation.  I will to listen to and understand a part of how their life worked out - especially those who're different from me.  As I ponder those that I remember, I'm so thankful for each one - I can't imagine giving up what I've learned from others.  People's shared experiences and hearts are such a joy to me - truly precious.  It saddens me to hear of those who remain isolated from others and seek to find contentment merely through a pet.

The only church in town will value the variety of lives that make up their congregation as they worship in a common faith.  I love my church family and appreciate all who came before me, traveled with me, and those who I'll interact with in the days I have left.  I wonder how many more breaths I'll be given traveling on this wonderful spinning orb?

Just for today...

"...no one person's view is totally complete . . . I can be grateful for the chance to see that there are countless ways to looking at life . . . I use to take disagreements personally. One of us had to be wrong, and my position had to be accepted! . . . I don't have to invalidate anyone else's views in order to validate my own . . . Today I will respect someone's right to think differently."  Courage to Change (p. 362)

"Shared heart; Opens mine - Love felt; Truly divine."    Am I a Poet?

December 26th - Relationship Dance

The story...

I went to college during the disco-dance era.  Guys often met girls at parties where young men were faced with the opportunity to ask women to dance.  Like many other guys, I was a reluctant to display my lack of dancing skills amongst my peers - especially the girls who I admired from a distance.  John Travolta showed us how it was done on Saturday Night Fever - dancing experience could be a whole lotta fun.  

After college, I moved to Tennessee where they country-western danced.  They danced the 2-step and round danced to the Cotton-Eyed Joe.  I was new to Knoxville, so I went to two different churches on Sunday mornings followed by dance lessons at noon.  I wanted to be involved in community and meet my life partner - not knowing how to dance well was a barrier.  I met my life partner there in 1981 - praise God.  She was a practiced dancer who made dancing easy - she made me look and feel good.  We looked like I was leading.  I often didn't know the next step but I was safe with her.

Relationships are much like a ballroom dance where you can hold your partner in various ways.  For me, it was great when I learned to hold her loosely with subtle, yet clear, signals as to where we were moving next.  She silently let me know what she wanted to do and where to go.  When it worked well, we flowed across the floor as a unit - continuous movements that didn't feel anything like work.  The close intimate relationship on the dance floor seemed kind of like a relationship well done.

Unlike the dance floor, I had a difficult time maintaining close relationships throughout life.  I've learned relationship building and sustaining skills along the way and now greatly value the close relationships I have.  There are similarities between a good relationships and the relationship on the dance floor - a metaphor.  Why not learn how to dance, go to places where people dance, and get out there on the dance floor of life?

Strangely, some churches don't allow dancing amongst boys and girls at all.  They're worried about unwanted close relationship building - the threat.  I hope that the only church in town will encourage relationship building.  God with me, me with Him, me with them, them with me, me with him/her, and her/him with me.  It seems wise to hold them loosely and work out the most important relationship with God first - be okay.  Learn about Him, learn the dance, dance life with Him, dance with friends while holding them loosely, and enjoy the community at the dance party too.   A dance party isn't a solemn place - you'll find happiness and joy there.  Is dancing a good metaphor for the only church in town? 

Just for today...

"I was a willing participant in a dance that required two partners. I felt like a victim, but in many ways I was a volunteer . . . When I get the old feelings that tells me I am a victim, I can regard it as a red flag, a warning that I may be participating in something that is not in my best interest. I can resist the temptation to blame others and look to my own involvement instead."  Courage to Change (p. 361)

"... it dawned on me how much of my life had been spent wanting for others to change so I could be happy."  Hope for Today (p. 361)

"I'm me; She's she - In dance; We're we."
"Subtle cue; Flow apart - Hold near; Ne'er depart."    Am I a Poet?

December 25th - Quietly replacing what-ifs with even-ifs

 The story...

I'm lifting weights in my basement while listening to an inspiring message from one of my mentors on YouTube.  I complete my stretching and turn off the TV.  I kneel down, on my weight bench, in prayer and meditation.  Then, I'm quiet and peaceful for a time, maybe the best part of life, then it's quickly over.  Why?

Being quite is a great place to be - peacefulness.  Why's it illusive?  I'll to be quiet and peaceful with my heart open to the Spirit of God.  Yet, my mind, often filled with the cares of the world, seems crouched on the sideline, ready to pounce back in and continue running the show.  These are the thoughts of: having to; wanting to; planning to; worrying about; interested in; and even whimsically entertainment - an endless stream of possibilities just waiting to be juggled around and explored.  Might my "what-ifs" be replaced with "even-ifs?"  If our focus shifted from trying to control and worry to trusting God "even if;" then, might we live more peacefully and make better decisions too?

The only church in town will introduce the Word of God and the opportunity to experience fellowship with our Creator too - wow.  Faith in God means trusting Him to keep His Word - He's faithful.  Yes, His Word lived out in us is the very best condition for both the few years I've left and for all eternity too.  Yes, it's reasonable and right to replace our "what-ifs" with "even-ifs" when we're right with God in Christ.  That's an infinitely better place to be than merely trying our best, on our own, to control the uncontrollable.  

Merry Christmas - we have a wonderful Savior in Christ!  Praise God!  We're far more than okay in Christ.

Just for today...

"Serenity is: . . .  accepting my many characteristics and not judging what's 'bad' or 'good' but what's useful to keep and what to release . . . honoring my feelings without aiming them at someone else or letting them run my life."  Hope for Today (p. 360)

"What message does my silence communicate? Today I will try to align the stillness of my tongue with a stillness of spirit."  Courage to Change (p. 360)

"What if; We'd suffer - Be His; Even if."
"Courageous power; Humbly born - Abiding Christ; Forever more."   Am I a Poet?