October 13th - Being who you are or who they want you to be?

The story...

There's a guy I knew who experienced health changes that resulted in him being less inhibited and less likely to behave within accepted group-norm boundaries.  I looked forward to his more interesting, vibrant, and refreshing group shares.  He honestly broke the rules - you didn't know what he'd say next.  He spontaneously spoke from his heart.  He seemed to bypass the filters that most of us have refined throughout the years by adapting to group behavior norms.  The group enforces those rules either subtly or directly.

We seem more fun as ourselves rather than acting out our assigned group role.  I expect a group matures more when members act more naturally rather than "try" to conform to the idealized "best" role.  This idea may support casual, rather than formal, dress within community.  Certainly  there are times when its best to agree to be better version of ourselves for the good of us all.  Formal dress does suggest the group's desire to act and behave according to a standard that might be more desirable and honorable.  "If everybody would just _____ everything would be fine - just like it use to be."

The only church in town would teach about the Body of Christ and the expected uniqueness of each of the members.  Like a body, there are mouths, ears, little-toes, knees, hair follicles, and eyes - each uniquely equipped to serve their role.  The body will not function as designed unless each part behaves as designed - we all can't be like the mouth (1 Cor. 12:12-27).  The family would frequently remind each other of this mystical union that's facilitated and empowered by the Spirit of God - God working out His will amongst and through community.   We can actually enjoy each part of the body.

Just for today...

"Did this behavior get me what I wanted or encourage me to feel good about myself?  When I took a good look, I realized that the answer to the question was 'No.'  Loud, angry words and actions demonstrated my frustration and pushed away all hope for peaceful solutions to my problems . . . Easy does it."  Courage to Change (p. 287)

"Eyes off me; I see you - We need us; Need you too."
"Abide in Him; Safely sound - Be as one; Love abound."   Am I a Poet?

October 12th - It was for freedom...

The story...

I resented the implication that the problem with the situation seemed to be centered around me.  My actions seemed just and righteous - I intended to "help" solve the problem.  They seemed to be wrongly complacent by following down a path that "might" lead them to a place where "I" didn't think that "they" wanted to go.  They clearly weren't capable of living their own lives well - why?

It's easy to recognize the faults of my family members yet those faults are often true about me too.  We share the same gene pool, grew up in a similar environment, and learned from each other along the way.  Why couldn't I focus on being okay with the person that I was, and wanted to be, and allow them the same freedom too?  I expect that we were co-dependent on each other.  Maybe we misunderstood the life coping skill of co-dependency as love?

It was for freedom that Christ set us free (Galatians 5:1).  The only church in town would proclaim the freedom we can have from the tyrannical ruler "self."   They'll also share scripture's path of walking humbly with God, side-by-side with other sojourners, towards our eternal destiny.

Just for today...

"I had to unlearn a lot of romantic nonsense in order to find a satisfying  life in the here-and-now . . .  My security cannot be based on learning 'the rules,' because once I learn them they change. With God's help, I will find some security in being exactly where I am today."  Courage to Change (p. 286)

"Sometimes what I perceive as a threat is something I've conjured up in my own mind . . . I've learned to distinguish between real and imagined threats. I've learned to recognize and respect others' boundaries. I'm also able to discern when it's wiser for me to remain open to someone I love and trust even when I want to close up out of fear."  Hope for Today (p. 286)

"Set of rules; "Storge" confine - Safely normal; Bitter wine."
"Break the rules; Righteous rebellion - Push loudly; Little hellion."
"Another way?; Can it be? - Creator did; Gifted by HE!"
"Sin barrier broken; He loves me - Okay I am; Free to be."    Am I a Poet?

October 11th - Wisdom: Knowing where to go and how to get there

The story...

The Just for today... quotes contain pearls of  personal wisdom that were shared from three souls who lived them out in reality.  I've benefited much from others like them - you have the opportunity to receive too.  Most of my knowledge, and wisdom too, seems to have come from others rather than garnered from my own experiences, thoughts, imagination, and ideas.

My favorite definition for wisdom is: "knowing where to go and how to get there."  I first heard this definition in my 30's and I've retained it into my 60's - It's sufficed.  It feels like my own though I heard it from another.  I heard the definition of God as "That than which their is no greater" - It's sufficed.  My framework, world view, or model of truth has been received and developed over a lifetime.  But, reality speaks truth and "rocks my boat."  The truth helps me more honestly and rightly view history, life, and future possibilities too.  Often these realizations occur while walking side-by-side with my close friends and through reflection on the truth that God's revealed to us.

Amen means truly.  People within the only church in town will often say "amen" when they hear the proclamation of what God says is true.  It's a good thing to freely walk in the reality of the love of God in Christ.

 "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free" (Galatians 5:1)

Just for today...

"Each of us has the right and the obligation to make our own decisions. It is character-destroying to usurp that right."   One Day at a Time (p. 285)

"But sometimes my thirst for knowledge can be an attempt to exercise power where I am powerless."  Courage to Change (p. 285)

"...years of isolating myself had left me with scars that couldn't heal overnight. I suffered from low self-esteem, impaired social skills, and lack of self knowledge, to name a few."  Hope for Today (p. 285)

"Imagine here; Truth bent there - Lose yer way; Going where?"
"Plug yer ears; Simmer the stew - Awaken to God; Life's brand new."   Am I a Poet?

October 10th - Decide what's your part - trust God with the rest

The story...

An issue jumps into my conscious mind from who knows where.  It nudges me to ponder it before stuffing it back into a corner - hope it'll be forgotten.  It's kind of like how I used my basement ping-pong table - a staging area for stuff that I was currently working on or hadn't yet decided if and where to store.  Some might best be dispositioned to a charity for people who actually need them.  Others may be restored and placed where they can be found.  The clutter "takes its toll."

Some of the issues that I don't trust God with become worries that only cause me and others strife.  I'm capable of ruminating and imagining these worries into possible realities that'll never see the light of day.  If I worry, I'll likely suffer similar consequences to those that I actually fear.  Worse yet, my efforts to fix, manage, and control the situation is often doomed due to my limited capabilities, resources, and understanding of what might be.  

The only church in town will work out their lives abiding with God in Christ, believing His revealed Word, and trusting Him with the results.  Yet, church activities might look even messier than my ping-pong table.  But, they'll allow for the bright light of God's revealed truth on that messy table.  They'll decide what stays in play, what's rebuilt or improved, what gets put away, what's given away, what's repurposed, and what's discarded.

What's on your ping-pong-table?

Just for today...

"Without faith in a power greater than myself, I am like a storm-tossed ship without a rudder. I am flung from one trouble to another; however bravely I may battle the elements, my own strength and wisdom are not enough."  One Day at a Time (p. 284)

"...when I'm feeling insane, I'm forgetting my powerlessness and trying to control outcomes or other people . . . I try to get my own way."  Hope for Today (p. 284)

"I can't make life unfold according to my plans, I can admit my powerlessness and turn to God for help."  Courage to Change (p. 284)

"Unsettled mind; Wounded heart - Misplaced love; Grown apart."
"Stop trying; Trust God's Word - Off entanglements; Cut da cord."
"True light; Heart sees - Truly loved; Wonder-filled free."   Am I a Poet?

October 9th - Do and trust God with the rest

The story...

I received an all-group e-mail that encouraged me to better participate in this years group meetings by attending less preoccupied.  They suggested the following method to better prepare for group activities:

"Get out a piece of paper and write down everything on your mind. Write down anxieties, distractions, expectations of the evening, plans for tomorrow, and anything else consuming your thoughts. Getting our mind-clutter out and onto the page frees us to focus on one another."

Since I was planning on attending a meeting that evening, I intentionally identified the things that were weighing on my mind.  If I "dropped" them, might I: more freely focus on others; receive their messages more clearly; reflect more deeply; and be more sensitive to the Spirit of God too?  Instead of writing each one down, I went out to my drive way and shot free-throws.  

First, I identified what was true about the situation.  Second, I acknowledged my part.  Third, I voiced my responsibility.  Fourth, I decided what related actions to take.  And finally, I trusted God to work out the rest in the truly best way according to His will.  The whole process seemed right, fruitful, and a good lifelong habit.  As you might expect, I participated in the meeting in a more attentive, balanced, and supportive way - more engaged.

The only church in town will focus on the reality of God's will and presence in creation, history, the "now," our lives, and the future too.  If God wills something to be done then it'll be done.  Yet, if He is going to work His will out through us, we must be rightly related to Him.  That's where I want to stay.

Just for today...

"I use my intellect instead of my emotions before responding. I detach from the person or situation until I can calm down and think rationally."   Hope for Today (p. 283)

"I'm willing to stop fighting reality, to stop trying to do God's part, and to do my own . . . I am free to live my own life, safe in the knowledge that God is taking care of the world, my loved ones, and myself."  Courage to Change (p. 286)

"...confuse not the business of others with your own."  One Day at a Time (p. 283)

"Toted a burden; Hurt and blame - Shoulders sagged; Guilt and shame."
"Christ bore sin; I am freed - We walk tall; God and me."   Am I a Poet?

October 8th - A limited vantage point

The story.,,

My best friend and I were sitting behind home plate at our son's baseball game.  The female umpire was making some questionable calls - I made a few critiques to my friend that I hope the umpire didn't hear.  Then the big slide occurred at home plate.  Coaches from both teams thought they had the better vantage point and argued for their positions.  People were either right or wrong and nobody wanted to be wrong.  The umpire cried...

I knew both of the coaches and was surprised to hear how differently they perceived the same situation.  It was like we saw different events at home plate - our conclusions were different too.  

Later, the baseball organization held a meeting to review the altercation(s).  I assume that witnesses told them what they perceived to have happened - maybe the umpire and coaches were provided an opportunity to tell "their side of the story."  They decided that my son's coach was no longer allowed to coach in the league - he made the umpire cry.

Do we have a comprehensive view or vantage over any situation that we participate in or witness?  Our perspectives are based on how we view life, our past experiences, our bias, our personality, our perspectives, our feelings, the power of God worked out, the need to agree with or please other people . . . the list seems endless.

The only church in town will study and trust the book where God reveals His perspective of us and history.  God's Word says that there is a spiritual reality in life's situations.  King David described what he perceived to be God's work in delivering him from his enemies in Psalm 18 - David was writing about the most important reality that was unobserved by most of the scene's participants.  David paints a picture, in song, of what was actually going on.  Yes, I hope you'll find out more of what's "really going on" within the only church in town.

Just for today...

"I see that miracles frequently touch my life. Maybe they always have, but I didn't see them."  Courage to Change (p. 282)

"We may magnify disagreements about money for instance; we expand minor slights into huge grievances. Without realizing it, we're looking for trouble and are ready to fasten on little things that we could easily pass over if we really wanted our own peace of mind."  One Day at a Time (p. 282)

"Saw 'em; Felt it - Knew some; Filled gaps."
"Told story; Listened some - Opined away; Built walls."   Am I a Poet?

October 7th - Engage in life and be

The story...

The movie Top Gun asked the lead character "Maverick" to engage in life for the benefit of himself; his team; the Navy; and for his country too.  The circumstances of life were changing as he lost his best co-pilot friend who trusted him.  He even rejected the woman who risked loving him the best she could.

He says "Jesus Christ," albeit flippantly, in dismay as he faces the enemy, failures, and community rejection.  He reengages, drops his stinking thinking, and defeats the enemy using his God-given talents.  He becomes the man he could be - victory won.

Movie - Top Gun - "Engage Maverick!"

There'll be many reasons to disengage from the imperfect only church in town.  Stay engaged!  Self can relentlessly hold you back from loving: you; other people; and the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength.  Engage in the good life God created you for.  It is for freedom that Christ set you free.

Just for today...

"The invitation to live life fully is offered to me each day. I can accept the pace of change today, knowing it will bring both times of active involvement and periods of quiet waiting. I will let surprises of the day open up before me."  Courage to Change (p. 281)

"Scratching itches; Festers wounds - Trusting God; Frees souls."
"Loved and loving; Men build - Men of God; Move mountains."    Am I a Poet?

October 6th - Life traveling better or worse ?

The story...

Sometimes, the group member who wants their idea of the "best" can restrain a group from moving forward towards real growth.  Yes, I was that idealist that often critiqued the motives and adequacy of significant change proposals - wanting the very best, knowing that change was necessary; yet, putting on the brakes while trying to persuade others to see, know and feel as I did.  I expect that my input  to the group was needed; but, my insistence on my "higher ways" filtered my ears, mind and heart.  I wish that I'd sought to understand different viewpoints, ideas, and perspectives before attempting to "sell" my ideal version of "the" best way forward - the "right" way to go.

A friend of mine, Henry Hudson, claimed to read Pilgrim's Progress every year.  I'm about to finish the book once again - each time it's more meaningful as I imagine the reality that this allegory paints.  Oh... that I might rely on, and more fully trust, God as I turn each corner.

The only church in town will know that we're all on a journey.  It's a mistake to camp too long in one place along the way.  As the story of "life" progresses, God prunes those who are His so that they produce, and enjoy, more fruit together.  That kind of fruit is shared and witnesses to their source.  Fruit born and enjoyed, shines His Light into the dark crannies of our lives - stuff looks differently in Light.

Just for today...

"Opportunities for spiritual growth, as well as new character defects, pop up like weeds in a newly-mown lawn . . . My problem was my spiritual pride and arrogance, not my situation. The need to be right was robbing me of my serenity in all kinds of situations."   Courage to Change (p. 280)

"Sojourning with You; Brightly wired - Walking alone; Old and tired."
"Eyes on the prize; Loving along - God in us; Builds all-strong."   Am I a Poet?

October 5th - Do Eeyores have to be Eeyores?

The story...

We've seen others isolate themselves after extended periods of rejection - not receiving the love they needed - they seem to've given up.  They may appear as an Eeyore or not appear at all.

Maybe they looked for love in all the wrong places.  Or, maybe they expected that all their love needs should've been met by their parents or that illusive life-long partner.

Looking for love in all the wrong places.

I hope that the only church in town will be the community where they engage in life - experiencing the giving and receiving of love.  What will be that source of strength and love?   They'll have the book that offers really "good news."  They might just learn about, and hopefully experience, "The" source within the only church in town.  "Ain't that good news . . . man ain't that news."

Just for today...

"I did choose to give my younger brother things I wanted myself in order to win his love. I did decide to shut off my feelings from my family . . . I had to look at why I chose to become involved with unavailable people . . . My choices reflect my opinion of a relationship with myself."  Hope for Today (p. 278)

"I have a choice about where to focus my attention. I'm challenged to find positive qualities in myself, my circumstances, and other human beings . . . It may be difficult to break a long-established pattern of depression, doom-sayings, and complaining, but it's worth the effort."  Courage to Change (p. 278)

"Looked for good; In the crowd - Found egos; Wounded proud."
"Met Christ ones; Livin new - Knowing God?; Truly true."    Am I a Poet?

October 4th - Are "we" better than "me?"

The story...

I walked into the T-Group at a NTL Human Interaction Laboratory in Bethel, Maine.  My V.P. of H.R. recommended that I attend this week-long experience that he personally found transformational.  This was the first session and nobody was talking - we all just sat there.  I guessed who the leader(s) were yet they said nothing.  A few people were so uncomfortable that they spoke up, asked questions, and even tried to start their own meeting activity - the group shut each of these would-be leaders down in order.  The agitation, uncomfortableness, and negative group dynamics grew.  It got better and better as the week progressed - for everybody.

The week was transformational for me - I left more accepting of me and more thankful for the group.  We learned, experienced, and worked out being a more fully-functioning human being within community - experiencing the value of working and living together.  Yes, I was a better person having experienced this Human Interaction Laboratory - I learned and grew with and through other people.

1990's training binder on group dynamics

Even after all of the courses, experiences, successes and failures, I still find group dynamics challenging, rewarding, and discouraging too.  Yet, working out life together, through relationships and community, are worthy and seem to be an important part of the "good" life.

"We" may not be more capable in some things than me; yet, we are likely more complete, capable, and fulfilled.  The fear of group rejection, not fitting in, still looms in the background.  What if they ... ?  The risk of group rejection reminds me of the following scene where Forest Gump defends Jenny during a Black Panther meeting - not fitting in.

Forest Gump's fight ruins the Black Panther party?

The only church in town will grow people, friendships, groups and community within the Light of God's truth about who He, they, we, and I am.  It'll be a great place to live, grow, and be - working out life together where really good news is heard and shared.  A place where people learn to love, be loved and suffer together too - just as we were created to be?

Just for today...

"The change in me will be reflected in every person whose life touches mine."  One Day at a Time (p. 278)

"I've learned to live with, put up with, and tolerate many things. I wanted to change but was afraid to try for fear of the unknown . . . I finally tore the wallpaper down."  Hope for Today (p. 278)

"I realized that it was my own fear and shame, and not the embarrassing details of my problems, that kept me at a distance."  Courage to Change (p. 278)

"Thinkin big; Knowing true - Peace with God; Livin anew."
"He works; We abide - In Him; We shall reside."      Am I a Poet?

October 3rd - Self awareness and feelings

The story...

"Why did I do that? . . . Why do I make so many mistakes? . . . Why did I resist doing good? . . . Why am I unmotivated to act? . . . Why did they reject me? . . . Why didn't I fulfill my commitment? . . . Why didn't I speak up? . . . Why couldn't I keep quiet and listen? . . . Why can't I be like them?"   

Self awareness is a good thing - some say it's what makes us human.  Thinking about thinking allows us to grow, adapt, improve and even survive.  Yet, wrong self thinking can lead us into self-defeating spirals that take us down rat holes where precious life can be wasted or missed.

WSJ 09/09/23 (p. C1)

We're capable of dwelling on our feeling and adopting negative patterns.  Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey did a good job in their article, "The Power to Decide How You Feel," of describing how we might: be more aware of our thoughts and feelings; decide what's true about them; take action when needed; and disposition them for what they really are -  "...understanding that emotions are signals to your conscious brain that something is going on that requires your attention and action."  Feelings can be a wonderful sensing mechanism.   A self-aware mind can use them to: further understand reality; better act; and be.  "I am not this anger. It will not manage me or make my decisions for me."

The only church in town will shine the Light of God revealed truth regarding what's truly valuable and lasting - stuff we can't hold in our hands. 

Just for today...

"I will spend more time with myself in this lifetime than with anyone else. Let me learn to be the kind of person I would like to have as a friend."  Courage to Change (p. 277)

"I tried to manipulate and control everybody in my life to change the shape of their personalities to suit mine. I even attended workshops so I could make changes happen . . . Instead of spending time with people and situations where I don't fit, I can look for ones that I do."  Hope for Today (p. 277)

"Chronic stress often leads to maladaptive coping mechanisms in modern life. These include the misuse of drugs and alcohol, rumination on the sources of stress, self-harm, and self-blaming. These responses don't just fail to provide long-term relief they can further compound your problems through addiction, depression, and increased anxiety. What these coping techniques do is try to change the outside world - at least as you perceive it."  Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey, "The Power to Decide How You Feel" Wall Street Journal, 9/09-10/23 (p. C1).

"We didn't match; But we're okay - Found a friend; Day by day."
"Enjoying all; Friend to few - What I need; Livin true."   Am I a Poet?

October 1st - Do you know what I want or need?

The story...

"Oooooh  If she knew what she wants

(He'd be giving it to her)  If she knew what she needs

(He could give her that too)  If she knew what she wants

(But he can't see through her)  If she knew what she wants

He'd be giving it to her  Giving it to her

But she wants everything  (He can pretend to give her everything)

Or there's nothing she wants  (She don't want to sort it out)

He's crazy for this girl  (But she don't know what she's looking for)

If she knew what she wants  He'd be giving it to her

Giving it to her  I'd say her values are corrupted

But she's open to change  Then one day she's satisfied

And the next I'll find her crying  And it's nothing she can explain

If she knew what she wants  (He'd be giving it to her)

If she knew what she needs  (He could give her that too)

If she knew what she wants  (But he can't see through her)

If she knew what she wants  He'd be giving it to her

Giving it to her (giving it to her)  Some have a style

That they work hard to refine  So they walk a crooked line

But she won't understand  Why anyone would have to try

To walk a line when they could fly  No sense thinking I could rehabilitate her

When she's fine, fine, fine  She's got so many ideas traveling around in her head

She doesn't need nothing from mine  If she knew what she wants

(He'd be giving it to her)  If she knew what she needs

(He could give her that too)  If she knew what she wants

(But he can't see through her)  If she knew what she wants

He'd be giving it to her  Giving it to her

But she wants everything  (He can pretend to give her everything)

Or there's nothing she wants  (She don't want to sort it out)

He's crazy for this girl  (But she don't know what she's looking for)

If she knew what she wants  He'd be giving it to her

Giving it to her  (He'd be giving it to her)

(He could give her that too)  (But he can't see through her)

Ooooooh  Giving it to her  Giving it to her now."

Susanna Hoffs and the Bangles: "If she knew what she wants."

We'll find people within the only church in town who're trusting God to meet essential needs and to bless too.  We too might trust God and bear real fruit - the kind of stuff we all need.  For now, I desire His Will and want to be okay in Christ - praise God.

Just for today...

"When we bring things out into the light, they lose their power over us."  Courage to Change (p. 275)

"Few of us know what we really want, and none of us knows what is best for us. That knowledge remains, in spite of all our determined resistance, in the hands of God."  Hope for Today (p. 275)

"... when we are strong we are always much greater than the things that happen to us, and the soul of a man who has found himself is like a deep sea in which there may be many fish: but they never come up out of the sea, and not one of them is big enough to trouble its placid surface. His "being" is far greater than anything he feels or does."   Thomas Merton, No Man Is an Island (p. 125)

"He enters; Life leaps - In Christ; For keeps."   Am I a Poet?

September 30th - Imagining God's Word or what I might worry into existence?

The story...

I silently sang songs from a "Young Life" song book one morning.  I seemed to wander into an imaginary trip of: past experiences, feelings, and glimpses of what might be true for us.

Maybe I imagined more when I was young - before the reality of the middle chapters of life were written.  The future was unknown then; yet, I question how much I do remember of what actually happened.  My perspectives were limited.  There was much I didn't perceive with by my five senses.

I can only imagine

The only church in town will work out life within community - one that trusts God's revelations.  A community that's enlightened by His Word.  As we imagine realities that are only partially witnessed, we're able to experience glimpses of so much more.  "I can only imagine..."

Just for today...

"This day is all I have to work with. The past is over and tomorrow is out of reach."  Courage to Change (p. 274)

"Worry ahead; Sad behind - Forget now; Self malign."
"Be present; Honest take - Righteously stand; Future remake."    Am I a Poet?

September 27th - Worth fretting over?

The story...

The virus symptoms lasted for 2.5 weeks.  Since it persisted past the two-week limit, I decided to call my primary-care doctor.  He likely wouldn't be able to identify the virus - he might've prescribed an anti-viral drug to boost my immune system.  Since I had only a basic understanding of immune systems, I listened to three related YouTube introductory videos.  I learned principals that helped me appreciate my body more and to identify behaviors and misunderstandings that may have hindered me.

He listened to my symptoms and physically inspected me - an intern with him also repeated some of the checks.  He asked for two blood samples to both check my immune system and to search for wasted muscle - he'd an idea of what it might be yet didn't tell me.  My blood was drawn at 3:30pm 9/01/2023.

Four days later, I was hoping to get the blood test results.  These data were to help my doctor prescribe a course of action to better my body and the life I live through it.  I speculated much over those three days -  I knew in part yet I'd likely know more in a few hours.

The virus continued on, I visited my primary physician once again and he asked for more blood tests.  The specific virus was never really known - the symptoms faded a way over a few weeks.

Suffering will be found in the only church in town yet, it won't be their focus.  It may even be purposed for us to "bear" more fruit (John 15:1-12).  The church body will focus on the truth of God's good news and the blessings from living out each day in the "Light" of truth and the presence of God.

Just for today...

"If my life has become unmanageable, how can I get control of it? Am I being forced into doing things I don't want to do, like losing my temper, contriving, conniving and scheming to make things work out the way I want them?"  One Day at a Time (p. 271)

"If thou canst not make thyself such a one as thou wouldst, how canst thou expect to have another according to thy liking?"  Thomas Kempis - The Imitation of Christ

"If I knew what was coming, I suspect that I would spend all my time trying to run from painful experiences instead of living. I would miss out on so much great stuff." Courage to Change (p. 271)

"Suffering settled; Hung o'er me - No satisfaction; Turned to Thee."
"Needy and broken; Trusted Him for - Habits replaced; Heart loves more."   Am I a Poet?

September 23rd - They repeatedly cut me off - like sticking fingers in their ears

The story...

I recently attended an event with a group of people who I haven't met with for a few years.  As we worked out the socially acceptable conversation, it seemed they didn't want to hear my perspective, ideas, or story.  The frequent interruptions seemed to validate my take on this "group thing" - it appeared that I was violating their norms, values, and unwritten code of acceptable behavior.  It was almost as though the scene was an act in a play where we were to act out our assigned roles. The "play" must go on as it has in the past.  Maybe the group was saying: "We've been just fine and dandy and we will not allow you to disrupt our patterns with your big, idealistic, ideas of how we might be better off according to you."  They weren't wrong, I didn't want to be an actor in that play and I don't want to journey down their accepted path that seems to lead to something less than what I hope for.

I did deliver my messaging, although frequently interrupted, without overtly challenging what seemed to be rude and disrespectful behavior on their parts.  I felt rejected by the group and experienced feelings that might've propelled me to quickly react in disrespectful ways - I'm thankful that I showed respect and didn't react negatively.  I don't have to accept future invitations to return.

The only church in town will preach the Word of God - His Word will frequently conflict with the reality of how congregants are behaving and acting out their lives.  People will be free to work out their faith in reality amongst like-minded people within community - co-sojourners, friends, may be found.

Just for today...

"One of my character defects is to respond in kind to behavior that is directed to me - to react to insults with more insults, to rudeness with rudeness . . .  If I am always reacting then I am never free."  Courage to Change (p. 267)

"I will not try to outwit or outmaneuver anyone else, but will proceed quietly to live my life so I will have less reason for self-reproach. I will withdraw my mind from what others do, and think of what I am doing. I will not react to challenging words and actions."  One Day at a Time (p. 267)

"When you are offended at any man's fault, turn to yourself and study your own failings. Then you will forget your anger."  Epictetus

September 22nd - Pilgrim's Progress - The 1678 Christian Life Allegory

The story...

"If you're in another frustrating emotional exchange - drop the tug-of-war rope."  I remember hearing about this "tool" from another person who described it as one she used on her journey to becoming a better person.  She recalled feeling worthy of being loved and able to more fully love others too.  "Dropping the rope" seemed easy to do so I "tried it on" for a few days - the results were real good.  I shared my exuberance for the "tool" application at our next meeting.  I  was ready to "try on" more live-giving ways of living from these new friends who'd traveled a similar road.  As we listened and shared, our lives began to grow together - we seemed to be walking side-by-side as fellow sojourners towards the "Celestial City" - enjoying each other's company along the way.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The Pilgrims Progress

The only church in town will offer, those who might read Pilgrim's Progress, a better understanding of our life journey towards that celestial city.  The church will offer fellow pilgrims God's revelation about Him, faith, hope, peace, love, joy, our future, and sustenance for our most adventurous-life journey.

Just for today...

"It's a wonderful opportunity to practice giving unconditional love and support by simply listening.  Many of us hear stories that are similar to our own; others can often identify with the feelings that are expressed. Perhaps we will be reminded of where we have been and how far we have come."  Courage to Change (p. 266)

"Worrying about trifles saps my spiritual energy which I could certainly put to better use. Am I willing to waste my life in this way? . . . I will not be made uneasy by what others do, whether they intend to hurt me or not. I will not clutter up my thoughts with resentment; it would not profit me, worse it would hurt me."  One Day at a Time (p. 266)

"Sometimes I'm afraid I'll have to separate from my family members to maintain my quest for healthy living, especially when they deny and justify their unacceptable behavior . . . I am slowly learning that trying to change someone else's behavior to suit my needs is an exercise in futility and frustration. Truly profound power and peace lie in the ability to change my behavior to suit my needs . . . I can accept people as they are."  Hope for Today (p. 266)

"Seven people; Gifted lives - Family formed; Wholly abide."
"Sin separates; Drifts apart - Love lost; Isolated hurt."
"One's saved; Shares faith - Other's believe; God's work."   Am I a Poet?

September 21st - When you find yourself in a hole - quit digging.

The story...

I was waiting in a McDonalds line on the way back from a trip where I was less than a team player.  For whatever reasons, I resented efforts from other people to bend my plans for our two-family trip.  Surely I knew that others had different expectations, perceptions, needs and wants; yet, I seemed to think I knew best for everyone.  I was frustrated with everything about that restaurant and the people who were there too.  It was bad enough that I remember thinking - "this is not okay, you need to be different."  Something had to change - I remember waiting in the line and pondering the situation - it must have been an impactful life moment.  "There's got to be a better way."

How do we know when we're not acting or thinking as a whole person - missing something that we need to make wise decisions?  We might: think wrongly; act selfishly; resent what others do or seem to be; remain ignorant; isolate from compadres; try to prevent wounds; please people; be co-dependent; or choose to be bad.  As if those reasons aren't enough to pause before acting, the acronym HALT comes to mind - pause if you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.

The only church in town can offer a true message of hope, peace, and joy (Romans 15:13).   Might a good life be characterized as walking more humbly, honestly and truthfully with God?   Yes...

Just for today...

"Although my life was full of chaos, it was familiar chaos, which gave me the feeling that I had some control over it. This was an illusion."  Courage to Change (p. 265)

"With my thoughts distorted by fear, despair and resentment, and my nerves overwrought, I could not think clearly nor make wise decisions."  One Day at a Time (p. 265)

"Fearful chaos; Builds shell - Honest love; All's well."
"Fruit born; Tasted sweet - Body grew; Evil defeat."   Am I a Poet?

September 18th - Authentic within community

The story...

My four siblings and I lived closely together.  Each family member seemed to provide something that others lacked.  Some took on a role that partly filled a group need: Planner, Encourager, Tester, Teacher, Story Teller, Helper, Organizer, Server, Project Leader, Decision Maker, Giver, Doer etc.  Maybe that means we were a bit dysfunctional when one of the family members was gone for a period of time.  I expect that we each flexed our style in order to recover some of the lost value of our missing sibling.  It's frustrating to see siblings compare each other to evaluate who is the "best" or to try to fulfill a "best" image that the family has conjured up.  It seems better to appreciate the value of the "we" and enjoy each other as they are.  It's a good thing to be okay with who you are - this state of being authentic seems like a sound foundation for continual growth within the "good life."

It would be a shame if there was a family code that drove all members to live, think and act in similar ways according to a "best" standard.  "If I could just fix _____ then I'd be okay" - ugh.

People new to the only church in town would learn about the Body of Christ,   There, they may appreciate unique characteristics, talents, and gifts which form God's called out group of people according to His will (1 Corinthians 12).  Each person would be valued and offered the opportunity to engage in the church community.  The church would be a place where people serve their role in something bigger and better than any one person could possibly do or be.

Just for today...

"Too often my memory has given me sadness, bringing back past hurt and shame. But now I can use my memory to see the progress I have made and to know the joy of gratitude."  Courage to Change (p. 262)

"Wanna be liked; Mostly loved - Safe from fear; Part of whole."   Am I a Poet?

September 16th - Worry = Imagined fears worked into reality?

The story...

I'm tagging along with my mother as she shopped at the Fareway Grocery store.  She wasn't one to quickly fulfill our wants so we walked past the bins of penny candy without discussion.  One day, I willed to stuff a piece of candy into my pocket.  I saw the mirrors on the walls and knew that there was a risk that I'd be caught - I just did it.  I must have been sweating when I waited in the checkout line - I know that I fretted over the decision for days or longer.  I don't know how I resolved the moral dilemma - maybe I never did.  

How does a 4-year old boy resist?

I can remember this theft over sixty years later so it must have been an important "incident" on my mental record of who I am.  Am I good or bad?  Did I return it and toss it back into the bin?  Did I offer to pay the one cent?  Did I confess the sin and ask for forgiveness?  Did I try to do more good stuff to outweigh my failure?  Did I just push my misdeed out of my consciousness and stuff it within the recesses of my mind?

I believe this incident occurred before I accepted an invitation to trust God's great work in Christ.  Being right with God, empowered me to walk more humbly and rightly with Him.  What might I've done had I stole the candy after I accepted God's provision for my sin?  Would I have confessed this known sin in my prayers, thanked Him for forgiving me for my sin through Christ, and restored the most important relationship that sin can separate?  I do know that God knows our hearts better than we do and that no man is good - scripture says so.  His will works out with or without me.  I'm so thankful that God loves me in Christ - I'm walking through life with Him.  Man that's good news.

The only church in town will be the place where you can hear the real good news.  It's a place to worship God together.  It's a place to learn about Him, His revealed Word, us, the future, and true love too.  It's a place to develop the relationships that seem to be a big part of the recipe for your "good" life.  No need to fear and worry that fear into a bad reality.  

Why not trust God and actually live out a good-to-great life secure within His will?  If you will that too, then why not engage in that church in your town?

Just for today...

"They plead the worst case scenario in a very convincing way, until it almost seems frivolous to consider a positive outcome.  Yet the loudest voice is not necessarily the truest." Courage to Change (p. 260)

"Let me not force my own certainties on others. I could be wrong. A generous tolerance can smooth out many rough places in my day-to-day living." One Day at a Time (p. 260)

"What might be?; This or that? - He's got all; Abide with Him."   Am I a Poet?

September 14th - Painful life lessons - pearls or thorns?

The story...

"You're going to have foot surgery on both of your feet?  That's great, you'll be in a wheelchair and bring light on all the handicap access limitations within our facilities.  Why not do the wheelchair option and indirectly help others along the way?"   I accepted the surgery one foot at a time - traded the concept of a wheelchair with the reality of crutches.  My struggles with crutches did require receiving help, possibly love too, from others; but, I didn't expose the handicap limitations some hoped for.

I remember standing in the snow, on my crutches, trying to work the entry card reader.  My bag dangled from my shoulder as I attempted to open the door - I couldn't do it.   I waited for another early bird to arrive and open it for me.  I needed help.  The experience was real good for me - it taught me to be both less self reliant and to receive kindness along the way.  I moved from mostly independent to more interdependent.  The suffering was good and I was "lucky" enough to repeat the process twice.

So, the painful experience was actually like a valuable pearl to me.  So, why do I maneuver to avoid suffering today?  We know why.   Even so, I will to remain thankful in all circumstances and be thankful for God's provision for today, tomorrow, and for all eternity too.

Those who choose to be a member of the only church in town will recognize the value of working out their life trusting in God's provision.  They'll enjoy loving relationships with others along the way too.  Yes, they'll receive His love while abiding with Him in Christ - "abba" father!

Just for today...

"The lessons were too painful - I would get excited about something, only to have my hopes shattered. As time passed and hope diminished, I fell deeper into despair. Eventually I shut down my feelings and refused to care or to hope for anything at all . . . It is risky to care - I may be disappointed. But in trying to protect myself from pain, I could cut  myself off from the many delights that life has to offer. I will live more fully today."   Courage to Change (p. 258)

"Christ the Vine; His branch out - Suffering trims, Fruit born anew."   Am I a Poet?