November 1st - Are you content and peaceful? Do you wanna be?

The story...

Last night I attended a meeting where I had no discernable anxious thoughts.  When we broke into sub-groups, I listened to each person's share to understand them with no evaluation process going on in the recesses of my mind.  There was 30 seconds left when somebody asked for my response, I shared an unembellished honest response.  My mind, heart, soul, and possibly spirit seemed peaceful and honest throughout the meeting.  To my knowledge, I didn't play any role - I was close to the real me.  It felt soo... good.

U.S. National Park Service

Is it possible to live a peaceful, restful, honest, condition in reality?  Our minds quieted with a strong sense of "okayness?"  To be in touch with our feelings without reacting to each unsettling impulse? Living in the present reality with me, others, the environment and the presence of God too?

The only church in town will share God's revealed word regarding the condition that He wants us to live our life in - the good place.  Yet, it seems people aren't generally peaceful or restful; but, we must live our lives out amongst them.  Remember the greatest commandments?   They're our highest-level purpose.

Just for today...

"All men's miseries derive from not being able to sit quiet in a room alone."   Blaise Pascal

"Sometimes a horse refuses to obey the rider's command and races out of control. My thoughts can do this too, when I frantically try, over and over, to solve a difficult problem. Riding lessons have taught me not to continually repeat a command louder, but to stop the horse, get his attention, and begin again. Likewise, when my thoughts race out of control, I need to stop."  Courage to Change (p. 306)

October 22nd - Do you want them to "act" as the person you want them to be?

The story...

During my mid-life years, I went fishing to recreate.  Inevitably, I'd call my dad to tell him what happened.  I knew that he was interested in fishing, and he seemed to appreciate learning about my episodes too.  There was a sort of give-and-take in those conversations - we were both able  to "check in" with each other.

I lost most of my interest in fishing after my dad died.  Strangely, I seem to have gone fishing to reexperience good feelings from early years.  Maybe I wanted my dad to know that I was okay and that I appreciated him in a way that I could communicate.  

My dad was a good man.  Yet, he wasn't able to meet some of my significant needs.  I accepted this truth and loved him, thankfully, for who he was.

I do fish now for different reasons.  I no longer seek my dad's approval and I don't need to be fishing with another person to be fulfilled - I'm "okayer," thankful and more content.

The only church in town will be a place where you can meet a close friend, friends, community, and God within view of that bright Light that's God's revealed Word.  Why not honestly live out life within community as opposed to acting out on your own?  You're an important part of this epic story of life - why not live out your part?

Just for today...

"Expecting him to be a nurturing person was unrealistic . . . I adopted some of his character defects as my own . . . I needed to give myself what was not in his power to give - love, acceptance, wisdom, a safe childhood, and a healthy initiation into manhood."  Hope for Today (p. 296)

October 19th - Self Actualization - Is that what you truly want?

The story...

Yesterday, I participated in a meeting with fourteen other men - we were focused on topics that were important to us all.  Each of us were group leaders who would later facilitate similar discussions with our own groups. There were expectations that we engage in conversation to share and learn from each other and to further prepare for leading our own groups.  In the past, I felt a strong desire to share what was on my mind.  The noble motives for my sharing may have been: edifying others; redirecting conversation to what I thought was more important; identifying logical, practical or factual flaws; or to behave like a "good" group member.

Yesterday, I listened well and recorded helpful learnings and observations that might work into my own group's topical conversation.  I didn't speak up at all and felt peaceful and content within the full meeting.  I think that my self might've been quietly riding in the back seat and that the real me, and my faith in God, were up front driving the car.  I was content and thankful for my compadres.

My "self" seemed to be quietly riding in the back seat.  He likes to be: proud, accepted, admired; and the focus of attention - even at the expense of others.  The self I've been gifted with is a competitor who's working to expand what is his with hopes of being safe, secure, and admired by others - indispensable.  Self tends to live in an imaginary world where he's the main character - the most important one.  Kinda like a little "god."  Ugh...

Maslow's five hierarchy of needs suggests that each self's goal is to be "self actualized."  A world where everyone's a winner and there are no losers.  Human history seems to read as a long saga of pain and anguish fueled by selfish "selves" who war against each other trying to fulfill their grandiose sense of "self" - to be self actualized.  To place their community at a privileged level in accordance to their higher-order view of self.  Their self aims to be elevated to a higher level, a sort of "god' whereby the community is enriched and "self' is celebrated and greatly appreciated.  Maybe it's a sort of illusive love that we secretly crave?

Maslow's hierarchy of needs with an additional level?

The only church in town will preach what God has revealed about who He is and who we are as His creatures.  True freedom from the tyrannical ruler of "self" is offered.  Is your desire to transcend yourself to a sort of "god" valid or even reasonable?

Just for today...

"I need to distinguish between giving out of love and giving to please others in order to gain their attention or approval."   Hope for Today  (p. 293)

"Struggling and worrying didn't help me to solve my problem. Doing my part and trusting God with the rest did."   Courage to Change (p. 293)

"I will not allow my imagination to build small troubles into big ones. I will try to see each situation clearly, and give it only the value and attention it deserves."  One Day at a Time (p. 294)

October 18th - Can you choose to be content or is it a gift from God?

The story...

I don't remember feeling more content than I do today.  I'm loved and able to love others.  My physical needs are met.  There's nothing that I strongly desire that I believe would improve my condition.  Long-term hopes have been realized in unexpected good ways.  And, I don't seem to have expectations or opinions regarding other people that I desire to be fulfilled according to my will. 

Why do I find myself in a preferable condition?  I'm retired, physically able to go and do the majority of things that I need and want to do. I have reasons to believe that there are enough resources to fulfill my needs in these last phases of life. I'm growing with friends who walk side-by-side with me.  And, I have a working faith that trusts God and His promises.  Fruit seems to be born in the lives that surround me - I believe there's a spiritual source and cause.

One day my life will be otherwise.  I've witnessed many-to-most people, in similar "content" situations, who later experienced periods of suffering that either built up their lives and faith or eroded them into a shadow of their former selves.  Some even gave up with a sense that life just ain't fair.

The only church in town will be a place where people will experience hope, friendships, love, suffering, and the presence of God within it all.  It's a place where you can live out, and appreciate, each stage of life honestly.  It sure beats living in an imaginary world concocted to pretend that every thing is "groovy" when it ain't.  Why not find out about the good and lasting promises and presence of God?

Just for today...

"We may even think we have overcome resentment, self-righteousness and self-pity, but if they are still there inside us, they will in some mysterious way emanate from us and deny what we try to cover up by our play-acting."    Courage to Change (p. 292)

May 1st - Contentment

The story...

It's after church about 25 years ago. We're on our way to Grand Rapids for dinner and shopping as a family.  It's springtime, and I'm pumping gas into my "sporty" station wagon while feeling thankful that the windows were rolled up.  The bickering and complaining, coming from those in the car, was too much.  I noticed a guy whistling as he walked to the gas station.  I saw him go inside and come out with a candy bar.  He unwrapped the candy bar and took a bite - he was clearly happy and maybe even joyful.  He walked away with a sort of bounce in his step.  I got back into the car and felt discontentment.  Why?  I seemed to have more than he had - why wasn't I content?

I don't have to explain this story for you.  We know the answers.  Yes, we've met the enemy and they are us.

The only church in town would have an answer for finding contentment throughout our lives.  And, we'd witness that contentment worked out by others within their lives too.  We'd also witness a sense of calm within the inevitable storms.

Eugène Delacroix, 1853

Just for today...

"There are many areas of my life that I cannot change.  What I can change is my attitude. Today I can accept my life as it is.  I can be grateful and happy, here and now, with what I have."  Courage to Change (p. 122)

"If I believe in a Power greater than my own, it would be unreasonable for me to behave as though I were all-wise."  One Day at a Time (p. 122)

March 12th - Value of Attitude

The story...

It seemed that most people knew and valued Chuck Swindoll's statement on attitude - it was often posted on bulletin boards.  It seemed timeless yet something appears to have replaced it.  I wonder what that could be?

"This may shock you, but I believe the single most significant decision I can make on a day-to-day basis is my choice of attitude. It is more important than my past, my education, my bankroll, my successes or failures, fame or pain, what other people think of me, or say about me, my circumstances, or my position. The attitude I choose keeps me going or cripples my progress. It alone fuels my fire or assaults my hope. When my attitudes are right, there's no barrier too high, no valley too deep, no dream too extreme, no challenge too great for me.

Yet we must admit that we spend more of our time concentrating and fretting over the things that can't be changed than we do giving attention to the one that we can change, our choice of attitude. Stop and think about some of the things that suck up our attention and energy, all of them inescapable: the weather, the wind, people's action and criticisms, who won or lost the game, delays at airports or waiting rooms, x-ray results, gas and food costs.

Quit wasting energy fighting the inescapable and turn your energy to keeping the right attitude. Those things we can't do anything about shouldn't even come up in our minds; the alternative is ulcers, cancer, sourness, depression.

Let's choose each day and every day to keep an attitude of faith and joy and belief and compassion."

Thank you Pastor Swindoll

The only church in town would offer the best reasons for having a good attitude in all circumstances - every day.

Just for today...

"Negative thinking is a destructive force, but for me it's a way of life. When I feel tired, sick, bored, or stressed, I tend to focus on what's wrong. Sometimes I'm unhappy with myself or others. Sometimes I don't like my circumstances. Whether I complain aloud or suffer in silence, a negative attitude invites self-pity and discontent."  Hope for Today (p. 72)

"Detachment with love means that I stop depending upon what others do, say, or feel to determine my own well-being or to make my decisions."  Courage for Today (p. 72)

March 6th - Like swimming laps

 The story...

They say swimming is good for you.  For me, it's my best alternative.  I wonder what swimming is like for young athletes; all those hours with their head down thinking about what?  This is my second go at swimming as part of a life style - a habit.  The whole process takes about two hours with 35 minutes actually doing my version of freestyle.  I pack my bag, drive, find a space, find my way in, talk to a friend, change, shower, jump in, start my Apple watch, swim, shower, change, talk again, and drive somewhere.  Why would a sane person do such a thing?  For me, it's part of a better life.  I expect that people who come closest to knowing me would agree that this is a good investment of these chunks of life.  I plan on sticking with it until...

How does a person think while their eyes are watching those tile squares, on the bottom of the pool, flow by?  I used to think about how much longer I had to do this - my watch takes care of that now.  Each time's different yet the same in some ways.  You can't hear much, can't see much, can't smell much, can't taste much but you do feel a whole lot as you almost weightlessly float along.  I come out of the pool feeling rested and more peaceful.  And, a bit closer to my inner-man - maybe even my spirit/Spirit connection?

The one I love is running is within this photo.

The only church in town might feel like the community pool.  I hope you enjoy pondering this one and maybe even planning to visit your community pool.  Might a change to your routine help you "be."

Just for today...

"When I was angry and wanted to argue, I silently fumed.  When I was hurt and wanted comfort, I pouted. When I wanted attention, I talked non-stop. I couldn't understand why I rarely got the responses I expected!  I no longer expect anyone to read my mind."  Courage to Change (p. 66)

March 5th - Wring Out the Value

The story...

The scene from long-long ago, I'm sitting at a conference table with a man from Hong Kong.  He's explaining plans for a new high-rise office building to replace their existing building.  I'm attentive - I'd heard stories about the "buzz" that characterized Hong Kong - I wanted to experience it too.  He explained that the building was being replaced to improve area traffic flow.  Large buildings are obviously expensive so this surprised me.  Why would they do such a thing?  They were replacing it for the benefit of the whole community.  Then I ask: "How old is the existing building?"  His answer shocked me: "It's seven or eight years old."   

I was reminded of the Hong Kong story when enjoying ice sculptures that were shown in the heart of my home town. They'd already begun to melt.  They also offered value to me and the community who chose to observe them.  Yet their expected life span was counted in hours.

How long might the only church in town last?  Buildings and their "value added" come and go.  Yet, I hope that the people who congregate there will "wring out" all of the value they can until...

Just of today... 

"I used to believe thinking was the highest function of human beings . . . I now realize loving is our supreme function..."  Hope for Today (p.65)

A wise friend offered me the following good advice: When a thought takes hold of your mind and shows signs of becoming obsessive thinking, stop, allow four minutes to reflect on what's true about it and then decide if something truly needs to be done on your part.  If not, continue on living. 

"Let go of the things you don't need to open up room for your strengths, skills, and feelings to become more fully part of your life."   Courage to Change (p. 65)

February 28th - A ripe old age

The story...

"Abraham breathed his last and died at a ripe old age, an old man and satisfied with life; and he was gathered to his people." (Genesis 25:8 NASB). What does it mean to die at a ripe old age?

Katherine Kyle wrote a helpful article that listed seven signs that a banana is ripe and healthy to eat: 

1. brown spots
2. soft when squeezed  
3. no green on the stem
4. snaps off stem easily
5. easy to peel with no resistance
6. no sound when peeling
7. doesn't leave film on teeth

So, what are the signs that a person dies at a ripe old age?  I expect they'd be considered ripe if they fully worked out their life as their Creator willed.  Maybe they've used up their gifts and resources toward fulfilling their purpose - bearing fruit along the way?

How would people work out their life within the only church in town?  First they'd have an ongoing relationship with God through prayer and mediation.  Then, I expect that the community would offer, and encourage, the application of each members gifts in accordance with the will of God.  They'd  need to know, teach and affirm the knowable will of God.  Then, I expect we'd see the fruits of God's Spirit being worked out along the way.  Like the spots on the banana we'd sense: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Goodness, Kindness, Faithfulness and Self Control within the people as they worked out their lives together.

What a joy it would be to know that I died at a "ripe old age."  Who would merely opt to die at an old age?

Just for today...

How might I best apply what's available to me within the next hour?  Pondering that thought seems good yet a first step of action seems better.   If you're down - walk alongside an encourager in truth.

February 22nd - The incredible edible egg

The story...

The Egg Board advertised the value of the egg in a 1978 marketing campaign - "the incredible, edible egg."  Why would egg producers need to market the value of eggs?  Well, one large egg has about 186 mg of cholesterol, an interim-fasting diet may skip breakfast, and vegans view eggs as an animal product. I remember my mother buying Carnation Instant Breakfast, in the 1960s.  They advertised it as the perfect breakfast for a really good day - and it tastes good too!  I also liked this milk-shake breakfast - for a season.

Two of my favorite civil war characters are Thomas (Stonewall) Jackson and Abraham (Abe) Lincoln. I understand that the typical "sustaining" diet for a soldier was about a pound of meat and a pound of bread or flour per day. Similarly, Abraham Lincoln had a simple diet and may have ate one boiled egg for breakfast when visiting the troops. The egg seems like a good choice in a civil war camp - you could count on it being clean after you peeled off that natural protective shell.

Might the only church in town provide the food, or sustenance, for living a "good life."  Wendy's marketing campaign "where's the beef?" seems like an appropriate question to ask.  I expect the only church in town would be known for offering the path to a "good life" that's consistently worked out within the revealed Word of God.  People would witness this good life in "actualities" and through real people with skin on them - people walking humbly with God.  An advertising campaign wouldn't be necessary.

Just for today...

"In the grand scheme of things, no single decision is ever really that important.  I can do my best to make decisions wisely, but the results are in the hands of God."  Courage to Change (p. 53)

"Let me cultivate awareness of those around me; it is all the better for me, too, if I clarify my thoughts before I speak."  One Day at a Time (p. 53)

January 25th - "Try" to be better or "be" better?

The story...

Trying to: elongate my spine, strengthen my "core," stretch all those muscles, perform new exercises, and adapt to my lumbar-caused pain seems never ending.  Sometimes, I feel like I've lost my way and need encouragement from my physical therapist.  She's serious when she tells me that she doesn't want to hear "I can't" anymore - she wants to hear "I can."  She directed me to keep a log of what I did, how long I did it, and how much "new" muscle pain or "old" nerve pain I felt.  This cause-and-effect analysis is meant to record how long I was doing my suspected cause of pain and what I did to alleviate it - a clearer look at the reality of my condition and coping methods.

It's true that my body's getting older and will likely require me to periodically adapt in order to move and live as I wish to, or need to, without assistance.  Yet, I don't want my "body" focus to be my primary focus.  I don't plan on giving up yet I'd rather not try so hard.  I hope to develop a physical fitness routine that will sustain me throughout the next 20 years.

Over the last 25 years of my personal and work life, "try" has been and evil word in regards to personal commitments.  I prefer to focus on what you or I commit to actually do.  It seems that the same idea applies here.

The only church in town will focus more on who we are and what we do than our physical condition.  Yes, they will focus on the condition of our souls.  Strangely God doesn't ask us to "try" and be a better person either.  He asks that we receive His provision for our past misdeeds and trust Him to change our inner-person to be more like the ideal that was displayed in the life of His Son.  They call it the process of sanctification that He works out in us as we abide in Him - He does the heavy lifting. 

He's a really good Father.  I'm so... thankful that He did a great work for and within me.  The only church in town will focus on our being who we are in Christ with little emphasis on trying to be something we ain't.

Just for today...

"I found that I was overly interested in others because I had such a low opinion of myself."  Courage to Change (p. 25)

"Bad habits and compulsions cannot be conquered by determined resolutions or promising ourselves that we won't go on doing this or that . . . I  stopped trying to force myself to eliminate my faults when I found it didn't work."  One Day at a Time (p. 25)

"I was raised to be industrious and goal oriented. Today I am discovering what play means."  Hope for Today (p. 25)