October 20th - Acting in love in spite of fear

The story...

I've an opportunity to spend some time with people within an independent care facility - the workers, the residents, and visitors too.  I've that right because a person that I love resides there.  Almost everything about that atmosphere is welcoming and my initial interactions have been good; yet, I'm not sure if they'd truly want me to intervene within their lives - to love and be loved.

My iPhone calendar records my plan for leaving my home at 10:45 AM today so that I can spend about 1.5 hours there.  It's just a plan so I'm not sure that I'll follow through with it.  I expect that the force(s) that are inhibiting, or resisting, this seemingly "good" activity are fears that I may not even be conscious of.  Here's a list of those fears that I was able to discern.  They're ranked according to my perceived likelihood that they'll deter my visiting.  It's strange that these fears may hold me back from working out a doable, loving, activity that certainly fits within my "constitution."

• Sense of loss while surrounded by end-of-life situations
• Perceived rejection from others
• Time invested that I could or should've spent elsewhere
• Periods of time when I don't know what to do - just sitting there
• Frequent thoughts of wanting to escape - get out of there
• Idea that I'm doing this to demonstrate that I'm a "good boy" - a "brag" story.
• Strange interactions with people who've limited abilities to communicate
• Uncomfortable smells and sounds

There will be inertia to love and act out that love within the only church in-town.  They'd love and act out that love both within and outside their community.  There'll be a sort of supernatural sense of being or condition for those who are actively loving God, themselves and their neighbors too.  Infected with love?

Just for today...

"I've lost many, many hours waiting to solve a problem or be freed of a character defect. Today I am learning to make room in my life for the wonders that life has to offer."  Courage to Change (p. 294)

"Fear is a feeling, not an action. Courage is not the absence of fear. It's choosing to act with love in spite of fear."  Hope for Today (p. 294)