August 22nd - Live an honest, hopeful, joyful, and peaceful life?

The story...

What a joy to spend a couple of hours with a good friend sharing life together - the time investment always seems fruitful.  Good friends share common: stories, reference points, sense of safety, and knowledge that the other has their better interest at heart.  They're fellow sojourners who're truly willing and able to understand and grow together.  I'm so thankful for my good friends... 

It seems that all of my most probing meaning-of-life discussions have drilled down to a most important directive that God has revealed:  "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and strength.  And, love your neighbor as yourself."  So, why not just go out and love God, love yourself, and, from these strengths and power, love your neighbors too?  Well, it's because it's not within our constitution, will, and power do so.  Yet people try hard to be a better version of themselves and even fund a never-ending series of self-help books to help them try.  Self-improvement efforts likely end up trying to bend reality to suit our will with us acting as a sort of pathetic little "god."  A little god may imagine their attributes to be far greater than they are and find pleasure in thinking that all others want to be more like them.  They often spew out "advice" and direction as to how others might be reworked into their own self-image of perfection.  UGH...

So, how might we take the first step of loving God when our sin is abhorrent to, and incompatible with, a relationship with Him?  We might will an imaginary idea of God who is compatible with our life code and experiences; yet, there's no real power in that.  We could listen to the good news, the gospel, that God has done all the work of removing our relationship sin barrier through His own great work in Christ.  Simply trust in God's great work and walk through life in His light of truth where reality and sin are illuminated for what they are.  Why not walk the path of living a more honest, humble, hopeful, joyful, and peaceful life in Christ?  Romans 15:13  Not following the path by doubting the possibility is _ _ _ _ _ _!

The good news of the gospel would be the common theme of every meeting within the only church in town.  People would hear the good news and the life testimonies of real people.  Close friends will likely be found there too - those whom you are capable of walking side-by-side toward your common journey to the celestial city.  I hope that you'll join me in praising God in Christ and resting in thankfulness, peace, and the power of God almighty.  

Why not "listen" to Paul's letter to the people in Colossae called Colossians where He explains our condition in Christ and how to be - takes about 15 minutes.  There's great value in "listening" to the full letter to better understand the message intent.

Just for today...

"Yet what do I do with the thorns of resentment and hatred when they pierce my thoughts? Do I leave them there and watch them grow, while I suffer increasingly from the pain?"  One Day at a Time (p. 235)

"I wanted to know how to become an adult with sound values, self-respect, and self-esteem. I sought this lesson from everybody - my parents, employers, spouses, children, friends etc.  - everybody but God and myself . . . I had to stop sabotaging myself by looking on the outside for something that exists only within."   Hope for Today (p. 235)

"He loved me; Loved Him too - He's in me; Wants you."      Am I a Poet?

August 19th - Hang onto relationships loosely

The story...

It's best to hold a tennis racket and handlebars loosely - gripping too tightly may over corrects and take us where we don't wanna go quickly.  My first rides on my KLR in deep sand were out of control and scary.  What I learned about riding motorcycles in deep sand seems to apply to life too.

• Don't sit down - stay balanced on your feet
• Relax your mind and your body will follow - fight the urge to grip too hard
• Do your steering through your feet weighting the pegs
• Maintain momentum - consistent throttle control
• When done right, it's like a dance - joyful

Looking back twenty years, most of the people, places and things have changed.  They'd have changed no matter how hard I tried to keep them the way I thought best.  If I wouldn't have been open to new people, places, things, and ideas - Id have missed out on much of the joy of life.

I'm learning to hold onto relationships less tightly - they change and are best when freely offered and accepted.  Sometimes, what I thought I wanted was not what they could actually give or accept. "Stay balanced and let them be."  They may choose to dance a similar dance as you; but, not with you - that's okay.  It seems better, and more respectful, to let them live their own life - the freedom to enjoy the few close dance partners that we each may have.

The only church in town will be a good place to develop life-giving relationships.  Hopefully, the relationships will be characterized as freely offered, graceful, forgiving, and changing too.  Your relationship with God, through faith in Christ, is obviously the most important.  He's the foundation for the best relationships - those dances that're part of a joyful life lived out in ever-changing circumstances.

Just for today...

"Imagine bad; Anxious worry - Obsessive thoughts; In a hurry."
"Quiet soul; Can it be? - Faith in God; He's the key."   Am I a Poet?

August 17th - Our personality, set of habits with a few go-tos?

The story...

Being a storyteller helped me garner the interest of other people.  I learned how to select the topic, grab their attention, inflect my voice, include humor, add color, keep the pace, and wow them with the finish. The habit may've started at our family dinner table - what worked there seems to have adapted and worked out into my personality.  I took my storyteller persona wherever I went.

A good story teller isn't smarter, taller or better looking.  They don't play better basketball or trumpets.  And, they're likely not natural listeners or empathizers.  Sure, there were times that I "flexed" my style and was surprised at how good it felt to be a more whole person.  Then, I'd get hurt, withdrawal, heal alone, and return to telling my stories. 

The college-bar scene seemed to be a most wonderful place for me.  Storytellers are valued and relationship development seemed easy - most people are happy to see you enter the room.  When relationships toughened, I moved on to a different group and place.  Yet, too much led to . . . and dysfunctional relationships.  Some of my friends couldn't balance learning and debauchery too - they dropped out of the race - the game.  

The textbook author advised me - he did the best he could.

In my super-senior year, when the college stuff was no longer new and full of possibilities, I listened to a football player who told me about what he heard within a group called: Fellowship of Christian Athletes.  I was surprised by his declaration of Christian principles worked out in the reality of his life - he was surprised at the life change too.  Then Steve and Marlene invited me to attend their campus church - they were the first people that I recalled earnestly inviting me to a church.  It "felt" right - I wondered how my college experience might've been different if...

It would be easier to invite people to the only church in town - it'd be the only option.  Please, earnestly invite somebody to church already.  If invited, experience the potential good.  It's so... good to be free from the tyrannical rule of self and to be a functional member within the body of Christ.  Galatians (5:1)

Just for today...

"Many of us develop clever methods of surviving in . . . situation, such as denial or secrecy . . . What once allowed us to function in a nearly impossible situation is now an obstacle for further growth . . . Sometimes we must accept ourselves, defects and all, before those defects are removed."  Courage to Change (p. 230)

"Today I'll stop minding other people's business and create some business of my own to mind." Hope for Today (p. 230)

"Like 'em all; How'd it be? - Christ-body truth; Love in me."   Am I a Poet?

August 16th - Are close relationships worth it?

The story...

When was I suppose to learn about the value of, and processes for, developing relationships?  I greatly valued my family but close relationships didn't happen there - I remained guarded and protected from each of 'em.  Didn't happen within grade school were I learned we were all different.  The neighborhood friends lasted a few years; but, weren't very close.  Boy Scouts offered opportunities yet seemed to focus on activities, achievement and rewards.  They didn't happen at my local church - I assumed that the right people just weren't there.  I found closer relationships among band members and lunch-time friends; yet, they were situational and not very deep.  I didn't have the close boy-girl friendship in high school that some found.  The closer relationships that I developed during my college years were really important to me - I learned much about me and others there.  My hopes were set on that close relationship that I'd have with my future spouse - I looked forward to meeting her and growing closely together.  

I'm so thankful for my relationship with my life partner.  We've grown much over the years while working out a right relationship as seen under the truth of God's bright Word.

Deer relationships - need each other?

Might the relationships we desire, to help us live a more full and satisfying life, be found within the only church in town?  You've had relationships with many people throughout your life; yet, those within a church will likely be somewhat different. There will be opportunities for: Casual friends who reflect community diversity and principles;  Close friends who you may walk side-by-side with toward the common goal;  Or, maybe a growing and deeper relationship with a spouse.  I hope that you'd find your most satisfying and lasting relationship between you and your Creator - spirit to Spirit.

Just for today...

Were you looking for someone who meets your needs but expects little of you?  Maybe you were looking for a pet or a dog?

"Lookin fer love; Pets are only -Distractedly shallow; Feelin lonely."
"Body of Christ; Fully Him - Abounding love; Come on in."   Am I a Poet?

August 14th - The journey - take the first step, or pedal, together.

The story...

My best friend and I rode our bicycles, round trip, between Muskegon, MI and just past Mears, MI, in 2023 - 71 miles.  She was training for a bike tour across Iowa and I'd ridden about 40 miles YTD.  If you want to experience a break from your routine, beauty, wonder, new feelings, a strong sense of accomplishment, and inevitable aching, then why not oil up your bike and get started?  Plan for it, do it, and enjoy it with others who are "like minded."

1. Miles 1 thru 10:  Wow, how fast I can go - yes I'll commit to the full ride.
2. Miles 11 thru 20: We can stop there on the way home - that's something to look forward to.
3. Miles 21 thru 30: I am so thankful for today - it's perfect.
4. Miles 31 thru 40: I wasn't prepared - I'm beginning to suffer more than she is - a head wind.
5. Miles 41 thru 50:  I need to stop but keep going - the dairy creamery was soo... good.
6. Miles 51 thru 60:  My head's down, trying to be efficient - average speed drops - suffering.
7. Miles 61 thru 70: I'm almost home - now I have hope that I'll make it.
8. Last mile:  So thankful and happy - maybe a touch of joy?

It felt so good to complete the trip.  The finish point was close to a favorite pizza place - Bernie O's. Sharing a large "Twist" pizza together was great. My Apple watch congratulated me with all kinds of awards for completing the 5.5 hour trek.  I was dehydrated and it took hours to begin to feel normal again.  Yet, I was better off having completed the trek with my best friend.  There were tons of reasons for joy and happiness.  What a joy it is to be alive.

The only church in town will offer opportunities for long journeys amongst friends and fellow travelers within the Body of Christ.  A place where the will of God may be worked out both together and more completely.

Just for today...

"Working in unity for a common purpose does more than strengthen both partners individually. It draws them together." One Day at a Time (p. 227)

"Sometimes I need to feel the feelings and then act anyway." Courage to Change (p. 227)

"I tell myself that just as thinking doesn't make it so, neither does feeling make it so. My life is going to work out according to God's will regardless of how I feel, so why try to manipulate situations to avoid the unavoidable - human emotions?"  Hope for Today (p. 227)

"Listen to 'em; Goin along - We're a movin; Singin the song."   Am I a Poet?

August 7th - Now more important than then?

The story...

If we're able to reflect upon our lives in eternity, which decade might we value most?

• 1st, Grew, trusted and dependent on parents - learned about capabilities.
• 2nd, Entered relationships outside family and community - chose a career to "act" out.
• 3rd, Became more interdependent and lived more outside family circle.
• 4th, Honed career-role and tried to pass learned values to kids.
• 5th, Accepted physical decline and limitations - tried out imagined best life.
• 6th, Living more self aware, valuing relationships, and appreciating peace and rest.
• 7th, Trust in God with little confidence in me?

Maybe all the reflections of  life will fill eternal eyes or heart with feeling, understanding and love.  Personally, I'm so thankful for every part of life - especially the meaningful relationships.

Marmalade - Reflections Of My Life (1969) 

The only church in town wouldn't be perfect nor best meet anyone's needs and wants.  Each person is wonderfully unique and living within their own season of life - a component of the body of Christ.  I can only imagine how the Word of God, the Spirit of Christ, and loving relationships might work out both here and in eternity - decade by decade.

Just for today...

"Trust God; Actualities true - Creator knows; He's gifted you."
"Valuing others; Appreciating all - Being present; Standing tall."
"Best friend's be; Patient with you - Good and kind, Lovin 'em through."
"Flesh's bad; Spirit's there - Ebb and flow; Ya know where."    Am I a Poet?

July 26th - Why listen to them?

The story...

Some people seem to love other people better and more naturally listen to them.  Yet, most people seem to be primarily focused on themselves and find it difficult to really listen to and care for others.  I experienced most of my life trying to be a good listener; but, my mind naturally drifted back to me and my aims.  Self-help listening methods seemed to help me be a better listener; yet, my inner-man continued to be primarily focused on me.

Manfred Mann's Earth Band (1976)

My heart has changed and I now do love other people more and truly want to understand them and their stories.  I believe it's partially the work of the Spirit of God and His presence in my life.  Praise God that I'm freer to love and be loved.

Why would I choose to return to a more self-focused life?  I greatly value my relationships and listening to better understand.  Seeking first to understand truly is an important part of both starting and growing relationships.

Yes, I'd choose to attend the only church in town, share the Word of God, and work out my faith with co-sojourners.  I am a Christ-one and will be no other.

Just for today...

"As a child in a _______ home, I wasn't encouraged to share my viewpoints. When I did, I didn't feel as though anyone was listening. Someone always ended up walking away hurt or angry. . .  I've learned not to use my authority to push my viewpoint or to punish someone for disagreeing with me. I've also learned to avoid controversy by listening and encouraging others to share their viewpoints when making decisions."  Hope for Today (p. 208)

"We can't seem to get around to thinking about what we may be doing that damages us. . . Do I seek relief from my resentments by retaliation, instead of forgiveness? . . .What shall it profit a man to be right if he thereby make an enemy?"  One Day at a Time (p. 208)

"God grows people; Here on earth - He indwells His; Meet Him here."
"He ushers home; His in Christ - To His presence; Thy perfect fit."    Am I a Poet?

July 22nd - Drop the Cloaking Shields and Relate

The story...

I attended a week-night class, at our church, when I was 64.  I sat in the same seat next to three people who were significantly different from me.  Each evening, the leader would break us into small groups to answer two questions.  The second question normally opened the opportunity for our "guards" to be lowered.  We listened more closely to each other's inner person - their heart.   As you might guess, we became good friends and I loved each of them more deeply than most people at our church.  Those three relationships were an unexpected blessing to me.

There were other people in the class who I've known much longer than my three new friends.  I don't share the same type of relationship with them.  I probably could but I don't.

Thankfully I stayed curious + made friends

The only church in town would be a place where it might seem normal for a person to meet another co-sojourner and ask earnestly "how's your heart today?"  And, you might perform a 3-sec.self-inventory and respond that you are both thankful and joyful despite the circumstances that you're currently experiencing.

Just for today...

"I don't have to like everybody, but I want to look deeper to find the spirit that we share in common . . . I will keep an open mind toward each person I encounter today. If I am ready to learn, anyone can be my teacher."  Courage to Change (p. 204)

"Stranger speaks; Truly listen - Care to know; Hearts glisten."   Am I a Poet?

July 10th - Curious George

The story...

Curious George was my favorite storybook character.  I was surprised and sad when the librarian told me that I'd read the whole series.  There were no more Curious George books to read - "no, that can't be!"  George was true to his nature, as a monkey, but loved and respected the man in the yellow hat who often saved him from the troubles that he inevitably encountered.  George wondered what if..., or where might..., or how does..., or who is..., or what will that do?  George pushed the limits and experienced a more full and adventurous life - he didn't "play it safe."

I expect the book series was popular because people want to experience a "bigger" life; but, they play it safe to avoid risks of failure, rejection, injury...  Yet, playing it safe often results in a more isolated, smaller, anxious, and lonely self.  I'm thankful for every close relationship and new experience that helped stretch the boundaries of life.  Yes, when I'm okay with myself as I am, I'm more free to enjoy other people just as they are too.  Wow, what a neat thing to be truly interested in the lives of the other pilgrims who're traveling alongside us.  

I wonder what will happen today, who I will meet, or how the Lord will work His way through the lives of those who are His. Yes, I'm thankful to be a curious sort.

The only church in town would include many who greatly value their relationships.  The source of their willingness to be curious will be the peace they currently enjoy in God through Christ - they risk experiencing love with a strong sense that they're okay.  This best relationship can serve as a foundation for taking our eyes off ourselves and truly, and more honestly, toward others.

Just for today...

"I won't let old, limiting ideas and doubts go unchallenged.  I may discover strengths and talents that never had the chance to come to light."  Courage to Change (p. 192)

"Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they're yours."  Richard Bach.

"Most folks are about as happy as they make up their mind to be."  Abraham Lincoln

"Shoulda; oughta - Gotta; Must."
"You can't; It won't - Try it; You'll see."
"Freedom rang; First stepped - Life began; It's me."
"Kindness felt; Eyes saw - Love's real; Pain an all."   Am I a Poet?

July 4th - Will somebody sit next to me?

The story...

I sat next to a woman on a train to Milwaukee one day.  Unexpectedly, we shared much of the important parts of our lives.  Kristen let me know that she had her eye removed with hopes of eradicating the cancer in her body; yet, she recently discovered that the cancer traveled to her liver.  There was no known cure for that type of cancer.  She participated in a sort of holistic program to extend her life with the hope that a new, unknown, solution might materialize.

She was a positive person with much support in her life.   We discussed living in 3-month intervals; the pros and cons of hoping for a miracle; difficulties related to thinking about future plans; and the important parts of life that might make a difference into eternity.  I think that we encouraged each other and were both better off for having met and listened to each other with open hearts.  I'm glad that I chose to sit next to her.  I wrote a prayer card and placed it in my prayer box.  I hope that she lives a long fruitful life; but, I'll probably never know - we shared only our first names.  I wish now we would have traded e-mail addresses.

The only church in town would likely be a place where congregates would expect conversations regarding life's challenges and eternal realities with open, honest, and humble God-trusting people.  Human wisdom and hope have limited value when interment is in view.

Just for today...

• Value each person we meet - it's a miracle that each of us is alive.
• Be open to God's leading and resist temptations to be our own little god.
• Seek to understand them - you might open an opportunity to both give and receive love.

"Body of Christ; Here today - Community built; His Way."   Am I a Poet?

June 11th - Valued Relationships

The story...

Relationships in college seemed easier for me.  We lived and ate in the same place, shared similar schedules and academic challenges, were about the same age, attended similar social events, drank beer together, and most of our lives had yet to be written.  I thought I was free to play and be whoever I wanted to be.

The library was my favorite study place.

Many college students had enough of community living after about two years.  They wanted to be free of the forced relationship hassles and rules related to community living - they moved off campus. Personally, I didn't understand why people would want to clean a house, shovel sidewalks, buy and cook food, and work out the domestic life with just a few other people.   I liked to visit houses like that but I also enjoyed returning to the dorm community.

During my Junior year, I attended the going-away parties for friends who were graduating or just leaving Ames, IA.  Parties for guys seemed to be more optimistic than for girls - girl parties seemed more like a wake or funeral.  Maybe the girls were more in tune with their feelings or had closer relationships than guys did.  Anyway, I always planned an event that I could escape to rather than lingering at the "wakes."

Then it happened to me.  I had my own apartment in Knoxville, TN.  I had friends; but, I felt isolation and loneliness.  Soon, a new friend invited me to connect with a parachurch.  I've been part of a church community ever since.  Maybe the college community served to grow me, grow my understanding and transform me into a more productive member of society - be somebody organizations needed.  The church community had aims of making me a better person rightly related to God and others too.

The only church in town would primarily preach and teach the gospel about how a man can be reconciled with God and have an ongoing relationship with Him.  They'd work out Truth into the reality of their life walk and community too.   The community life and person-to-person relationships would be good although of secondary importance.

Just for today...

"I was unable to discuss my personal life with my mother.  Fearing her rejection, I rejected her instead . . . I realized that the opportunity to be close to her had always existed, but I hadn't been willing, until then, to take part in it."  Courage to Change (p. 163)

"Hurt people; Reacted feelings - Go away; Need you bad."   Am I a Poet?

June 10th - My mentor is gone...

 The story...

Dr. Charles Stanley died on April 19th, 2023 at 90 years of age.  He served as a sort of spiritual father to me for more than 40 years.  I was crushed when a best friend shared the news with me - I grieved for about three hours.  The sense of loss lingered - I no longer had my mentor.  Surely I had other mentors but they're gone too.  I've strong friendships but they're not mentors.  Maybe my mentors needed to go away for me to more fully trust in God - to work out the life of faith that I've been gifted with - to be a mentor.

I'm so... thankful that his ministry continues on YouTube.  Strangely, his radio channel, and selected messages, continue to be meaningful to me.  Maybe it's because I imagine him being with, and in, Christ at the right hand of God.  That's my aim too.

The only church in town will minister to people in each season of life.  Loving, learning, worshipping, praying, restoring, suffering, remembering, experiencing, praising, serving, mentoring, and saying goodbyes too.  Hopefully, no person will be left behind.

Just for today...

"I didn't get many of the things that I needed to thrive emotionally and spiritually.  Things like consistency, structure, encouragement, and acceptance of my feelings were missing . . . Caring for myself first is part of caring for others."  Hope for Today (p. 162)

"Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they're yours."  Richard Bach

"Want the same; Solid and normal - Changing fast; Hold me mom."
"They're better; Made mistakes - Growing strangely; Guide me dad."     Am I a Poet?

May 27th - Tad Sad Today

The story...

I felt a bit sad for a few days.  I missed a loved one who's usually near as I more deeply considered the Passion week.  A person that I care for shared turmoil that they're working through and I felt distant from my groups.  Thankfully, I recognized the fallacy of focusing on things and experiences for happiness.  The sadness was real - it's a thing.  That type of sadness doesn't go with peace.

My sad feelings, experienced over time, are inputs that help me wake up to reality.  I've acknowledged sadness and shared the feeling with other people who care about me.  Right now, I see my shadow on the wall from the early morning sun.  I feel like I might be entering into a new season - goodbye to the old and hello to the new.  I feel like the sadness may have reintroduced me to a new season of life.

The only church in town would celebrate the resurrection of their Lord and Savior during Passion week.  They'd confront most important truths about God and themselves - wonderful experiences and eternal truths shared and worked out in reality - together. 

I wrote the first draft of this blog posting a few weeks before it actually saw the light of day.  Like the feeling of sadness needs time to be more fully understood and worked out - I enjoy the blog editing process too.  Story retold has been helpful for me - praise God in Christ.

Just for today...

Are you feeling: happy, fearful, sad, angry, shameful, or guilty?   What's true about them?  Please don't be too quick to dismiss the reality of the truths you might be feeling.  Maybe they're telling you that there's a better way - a way of more peace, rest, and joy.

"Feeling's real; Don't wanna stay - Experience truth; Fly away."   Am I a Poet?

May 11th - Be kind to you - take it slow

The story...

I greatly appreciate every opportunity to meet with a friend where we leave our guns and armor at the front door.  No agenda, just hanging out together, sharing what's going on within life's journey and our inner man too.  It seems that it takes years to develop that type of vulnerable and trusting relationship.  I've a few relationships like that and I greatly value each of them.

Sometimes a friend's struggling with their current condition, suffering, coping, dealing with those people, or disappointed with themselves.  They seem to breathe a deep "cleansing breath" when they hear a message like: "Hey, come on, be a best friend to you, treat yourself nice; give yourself some grace man.  You know how long it takes for us to grow - be patient with you already."

God's second greatest commandment, "love your neighbor as yourself," validates the legitimacy of loving yourself as part of our foundation for living a good life.  Might I love myself as I am, not just when I'm performing up to my imagined standard of who I oughta be?  YES!  Let's give ourselves a break already.  Yes, demonstrate grace with a heart that's thankful for the grace God extends to His.

Meaningful and lasting change takes time. In my experience, it takes about three times as long as I'd expect to make fundamental life changes.  What kind of changes am I talking about?  Developing close friendships, fully engaging within the group, living in the present, avoiding obsessive thinking, truly seeking to understand before being understood, loving those I've little affinity towards, eliminating self-defeating behaviors, avoiding even the idea of changing another person, working out the greatest commandments in actuality...

My turtle friend, from long ago, took it slow - a patient sort.

The only church in town would be characterized as kind.  Kindness and love worked out amongst real relationships within the indwelling presence of God. Whoa, who wouldn't want to be part of a group like that?

Just for today...

"I spend more time with myself than with anyone else . . . Today I will spend some time exploring the most intimate relationship I will ever have - my relationship with myself."   Courage to Change (p. 132)

"I will learn to relax my stubborn grip on sufferings and allow the solutions to unfold by themselves." One Day at a Time (p. 132)

"You do what?; Begin to see - Maybe I could; Love me be."   Am I a Poet?

May 9th - Relationships

The story...

I'm in 7th-grade wood-shop class, the class bully's walking around the shop thumping a stick in his hand.  He's the strong-tough kid that can do far more chin ups than any other kid in school. Thankfully, I'm not one of the kids that "they" picked on.  One kid was forced to give him his lunch money and others were soundly humiliated.  Now he's walking towards me, at the table saw, sharing a few laughing glances with his friends.  He's thumping a board-club in his hand - I feel trouble coming.

"Would you help me set up the table saw?  I can't get it right."  The words came from my mouth; yet, to this day, I wonder what the source of those words was.  I can remember a quick change in his countenance - he dropped the stick and helped me set up the saw.  A strange phenomena occurred yet I still don't know what happened - I can only guess.

On the way walking back from school he yells at me from behind.  I remember thinking, "oh no, here it comes."  He catches up with me and talks to me on the way home.  The same think happened for a few weeks - he wanted to be my friend.  This strange friendship didn't last long; but, it meant a lot to me.

Relationships develop within the only church in town. The most important relationship is with God yet relationships along our life journey are worthy.  Might they develop a better sort of person who walks closer to God - trusting, abiding, and listening with a quieter an open heart?

Just for today...

"I find that reworking my way through forgiveness has freed me to move beyond my pain.  I can now establish a healthier and more intimate relationship with God. Finally, I experience wonderful freedom."  Hope for Today (p. 130)

"If I am troubled, worried, exasperated or frustrated, do I rationalize the situation and put the blame on someone else?"  One Day at a Time (p. 130)

"One way to learn to love myself is to accept the love of others."  Courage to Change (p. 130)

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself (for God did not need to create). It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”  C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves (p.71)

"Clunky friends; Good with me - Weather storms; We can be."   Am I a Poet?

April 30th - Preventive Maintenance

The story...

I heard that a part on my car was likely to fail and potentially leave me stranded.  So, one Saturday I went to AutoZone to buy the replacement part and install it, in my driveway, that afternoon.   I imagined a fulfilling experience while listening to the Detroit Tigers game - the repair would go the way I planned.  I could do it by myself.

"If it ain't broke don't fix it"  I turned around and met a man who'd given me this unexpected advice while waiting in the AutoZone store line.  He heard me explain to the guy at the counter what I wanted and why I wanted it.  "When you loosen bolts, free it with a hammer, and take the wiring clips apart you change the system, create new problems, the unexpected happens..."  I thanked him, and the guy at the counter too, and left without the part.  I don't know if the part eventually failed, if I truly avoided the repair cost, or if  other problems might've truly been averted.

I'm so thankful that this man intervened in my life - he could've remained silent.  In the parking lot, he also explained why he and his friends owned S10 pickups - they're a simple design, easy to understand, and easy to fix.  His friends worked together to solve their common problem - everybody needs a vehicle to get them from here to there.  He said that they got together most Saturdays to maintain their trucks and live life together too.

An S10

The group of guys, working on their S10s, was an "ecclesia."  Ecclesia is the Greek word for "a called out group of people."  This New Testament word, ecclesia, is translated as church in my Bible translation.  Does that mean that this guy and his friends were a church that met regularly and cared for each other?  How might the only church in town be better off if it were more like this group of S10 owners?  It sounds much better than working on my car alone - hoping that things go well and relying on me.

Just for today...

"When I put my experiences into words, they seem more real and  I am less likely to push them aside. As a result, I can often face problems when they are still only slight irritations and deal with them before they grow and take over."  Courage to Change (p. 121)

"On the rare occasions, I get a negative comment, I consider what I can learn and turn it over to God as something over which I have no control."  Hope for Today (p. 121)

"I can do it; Don't need you - When I fail; Pretend anew."   Am I a Poet?

April 27th - Paddling Together

The story...

You're in a group that's planned to last about a year.  You get to know each other well with only a couple of months left.  When a deeper question arises, the group respectfully ponders it.  The guy who used to blurt out the answer feels comfortable with the silence.  The guy who didn't know what to say, and feared sharing, is quietly and peacefully pondering it too.  When a group member speaks up, the group listens and more naturally values the thoughts expressed from his inner man.  The sense of community feels great - we're growing together.  "One person says, lets all stay with each other next year too."  I'm currently enjoying my seventh year in a group like this.  I greatly value each of the seven groups and every member - I'm a better person because of our common life investments. 

One of my group members was different then me; yet, we shared a common life struggle and the suffering that went along with it.  We've met for years and have both grown together - walking through life side-by-side.  I greatly value our friendship and our faith seems to have grown together too.  It's kind of like we're walking together like Christian and Faithful walked throughout Pilgrim's Progress (John Bunyan, 1678).

Years ago, my best friend and I enjoyed a trip to the Boundary Waters on the border of Minnesota and Ontario.   We planned the trip with other's help, we geared up at the Canoe Outfitter and learned how to react to bear encounters as a group.  Yet, when we pushed off from the dock - we were on our own with only a map to guide us.  Pilgrims in a new territory that promised adventure, beauty, suffering, and protein from the fish we hoped to catch.  The portages were strenuous.  The four bear encounters were terrifying.  Watching moose navigate through anything was humbling.  The first morning dip of the paddle was serene.  Relying on each other was bonding. The trip was really hard and good.  We often wondered and anticipated "what's around the bend?"  Strangely, we don't think that we'd do it again yet greatly value the experience.

This Maine canoe outfitter says "Your Adventure Starts Here."

The only church in town will offer relationship opportunities at various levels - different relationships for different people within their season of life.  The full congregation, groups, friendships, close friendships, and most importantly their relationship walking humbly with their Father God in Christ. The last affords the opportunity to make the first four types fruit bearing and worthy.

Just for today...

"Self-esteem grows when I love and accept myself as I am.  I block my own well-being each time I base my self-worth on what I do or what others think of me."  Courage to Change (p. 118)

 "When I heard the recording, I was immediately flooded with fear and apprehension . . . I pray that I may not fall into the error of anticipating trouble . . . If it should come, let me meet it with equanimity and love."  Hope for Today (p. 118)

"Pull from bow, Steer from stern - Tandem power; Traveling learn."   Am I a Poet?

April 20th - Growing Together

The story...

Early in my career, I learned a simulation programming language that only one other person in my workplace knew.  We were simulating, or programming, the reality of manufacturing processes in a way that we could better understand how the processes behaved.  A validated model could be used to predict how changes to the process, system, or environment would affect/effect real outcomes.  I worked through my dynamic "modeling" problems, during non-work hours; but, had nobody to talk them through with until we met again the next morning.  Sure, I could call the software help line; but, their help wasn't the same.  We needed each other.  And, we grew together by modeling reality together.  We experienced models that worked and those that didn't - together.

Self disclosure came easy to me yet close friendships did not - they take work and self-compassion.  I know that it feels good for me to talk out my thoughts - the unresolved.  Thoughts seem to come together into a more understandable, clearer, and actionable way when they see the light of day.  It sure helps if the person, whom I'm sharing with, wants to understand me and values our relationship too.

Your pet could be the one that you work out your thoughts with.  They certainly can be attentive, appreciative, readily available, and safe too.  How might it be better to tell a trusted friend than a pet?  

Tulips - Like Friendships? 😊

The only church in town would be the place where friends could share the reality of their common faith, in Christ, worked out within life's actualities.  It seems good that they'd have opportunities to develop trusted friend(s) through whom they might more fully live life together - the successes and suffering alike.

Just for today...

"'Let Go and Let God,' and turn my problems over to God?  Wasn't I expected to solve my own and everyone else's problems, have all the answers, and support the behavior patterns, no matter how destructive?  How could I keep my family together?"  Hope for Today (p. 111)

"Sometimes I have to fight the old urge to keep quiet at all costs, but I have found that sharing is the key to healing. . . By sharing honestly with people I trust, I challenge the old, negative ideas."  Courage to Change (p. 111)

"Single cord; Easily broken - Two friends; Room to grow."   Am I a Poet?

April 18th - Be that Friend

The story...

A guy, with black glasses and an afro hair style, invited me over to his house - it was the kind of action that could develop a friendship.  The friendship lasted long enough for me to learn how to juggle.  Starting with two balls in one hand, then three balls, then three different types of objects, and eventually juggling three balls back and forth with my new friend.

My juggling skills have brought me joy throughout my life.  I'm thankful to that kid, in high school, who made the effort to become my friend.

I hope that every person within the only church in town would have at least one close friend.  The kind of friend that you can walk through life with, be vulnerable or less guarded with, and grow together.  Friendships are great yet they aren't necessary or permanent.  They're worth the risk and effort.  Why not ask that potential friend over to juggle today?

Just for today...

"I had to give what I wanted to receive and become what I wanted to attract. . . As I grew kinder and more loving, other people responded to the change. . . Today I can take an active role in fulfilling my needs.  I can choose to become someone I would want to have in my life."  Courage to Change (p. 109)

"Much of my present insanity stemmed from my inability to accept and feel compassion for myself because of my past choices and behaviors . . . I am turning my painful history into today's blessings and strengths."  Hope for Today (p. 109)

"Less guarded; Laughing tears - Sated souls; Right and good."   Am I a Poet?

March 25th - Friend Watch

The story...

I have a friend who closely observes my behavior.  They challenge me to set mental and physical health goals and track my progress to goal too.  They offer me encouraging reminders to keep me moving towards where I want to go.  Occasionally, they alert me to correlations between my good behaviors and other good life outcomes like better sleep and greater aerobic capacity.  They've even warned me of potentially life threatening risks such as a fall or heart rhythm abnormality.  And, they do all of this with words that express caring and kindness.  You likely guessed, from the picture, that I'm talking about my Apple-Watch friend.  We've been good friends for years - meet my good friend:

I was awarded for swimming longer and faster

Human friends have flaws, aren't always focused on me, are less predictable, and are free to choose.  I'm glad my friends are free; yet, I'm not about to give up my Apple Watch.  Like the Apple watch, I hope that the people in the only church in town would be honest with me, point out my lifestyle risks, remind me of my commitments, and speak to me kindly, gently, patiently, and truthfully.  That sounds like a kind of best friend, who you might grow with and walk alongside towards your common life goal(s).

Just for today...

"I have a primary responsibility for myself: to make myself into the best person I can possibly be.  Then, and only then, will I have something worthwhile to share."  Courage to Change (p. 85)

"A grim and furious silence can be more crushing and wounding than harsh words.  Such a silence is motivated by the desire to punish." One Day at a Time (p. 85)

"Far away; Hoped for - Encouraging look; Joy returns."   Am I a Poet?