November 19th - Am I a good actor or character in this game of life?

The story...

The career may've chose me.  Habits practiced, personality developed, and debated ideas helped move me along my path.  Work practices, applied tools, and change management success carried over into other areas of life too.  I became a more flamboyant story teller and better understood through painted-mental images of what might be.  I grew more succinct and posed better question(s).  My behavior became more consistent and predictable.  Sometimes, the perspectives I presented were bent toward those of the organization rather than my own.

The burden of working out life, wearing different hats, took its toll.  The incongruity between my inner-man and the roles that I accepted were bothersome - dissatisfaction with parts of life.  Often, my life wasn't characterized as peaceful - a seemingly never-ending quest to model good behavior.  I learned to worked diligently as a young man and continued to try to be the best that I could - measure up.  So, I planned the long and arduous process of earning my PhD - "then life would be great."  It was a good life change completed over 10 years and experienced over another 10.  I learned much through: study, research, dialog, enlarging mental models, and building my share of the body of knowledge.  I taught and mentored others along their similar journeys too.  Yet, my inner-man needed something more.

A period of brokenness helped me wake up and see strife and struggles more clearly - I needed help.  The help came unexpectedly when I joined a group who all experienced brokenness.  They seemed more honest, listened well; and purposed to become better people.  The lessons learned and applied were wonderful - I truly love(d) all those people that I grew with.  My life became more congruent, peaceful, restful, thankful, engaging, and honest too.  I became the type of friend I hoped to find.  The close friendships that I developed in the ensuing years are precious to me.

The only church in town will be a place where you'll hear about a better way to be.  You'll, meet those who are growing in a similar way and stage of life.  Over time, a few of those people may even become truly good friends who you can openly and honestly grow with.  You don't have to make close friends to live a good life but they surely add joy.  It's probably good to hold your friendships loosely or they likely won't be sustainable.  Honestly seeking to understand before being understood is a good first step toward developing those good friendships. 

Just for today...

"Friends listen; Learn each - Care with share; Together reach."
"Held loosely; Flexibly strong - Fade away; Life moves on."      Am I a Poet?

November 18th - "My life was mostly good - I'm thankful for that."

The story...

A close friend of mine met my mother, in her independent-living home, in November 2023.  I introduced him to her and they settled down to a one-hour conversation.  She shared her life story - past and present.  He in a chair and her laying comfortably in bed.  It was a great joy listening to my mother describe her life - mostly good but there was bad stuff too.  She shared her hope that her kids, grand kids, and great-grand kids would go to church.  Her greatest pain was the loss of her husband in 2011 - she described how she missed him every day.  They lived a good life and that made her happy.  The surprises and joys, in her current life, were centered around the different people that cared for her and met her needs.  "I never was around people like that, I really like them and some of them feel like friends."  That was her unexpected joy - she thought that relationships like those might be why she lived so long.

The only church in town will ideally be kinda like that independent-living home.  There will be some paid staff doing their jobs; but, most of the caring and loving will be shared among each other.  People living out their lives and faith, aligned with God's revealed Word, together.  The love my mother felt at the independent-living center surprised me each time I visited.  

What if we spent more time with the folks at church?  We might be surprised at the love we witness, receive and offer to others.  Many of us are clunky and different so love might appear in unexpected and surprising ways.  Love experienced is worthy.

Just for today...

"If I can see nothing but my troubles, I am seeing with limited vision. Dwelling on these troubles allows them to control me. Of course I need to do whatever foot-work is required, but I also need to learn to let go."  Courage to Change (p. 323)

"When I'm uncommunicative or dishonest in my interactions, I set myself apart and feel rejected. Conversely, open, truthful communication nurtures feelings of trust and encourages me to participate fully in life. However, as I begin to change my old habits, fear of rejection sometimes tempts me to respond in old ways."  Hope for Today (p. 323)

"Loved my momma; Sustained me - Loved me tall; We were we."
"She passed on; Achy yet aware - Thankfully abiding; In God's care."   Am I a Poet?

October 30th - Help, be, do together

The story...

One day, I saw my neighbor walking down the bike path.  I remembered a picture of him with a 4' sturgeon - he caught it earlier in the week.  I was riding my motorcycle so it would've been easy to turn around into a driveway to hear his story - the sharing would likely have been good for him and built up our relationship too.  Even though I paused a bit longer than I would've hoped, my motorcycle came back and we strengthened our relationship.

Wikipedia

Why was this interchange important?  Maybe it demonstrated that: I was truly interested in him; shared in his unexpected joy, wanted to know the "fight" details; and that our friendship was important.  It was all about him.  It felt good to know that it was natural and true behavior on both of our parts.  I wasn't "trying" to demonstrate interest and happiness along with him - I actually was happy for and interested in his life.  That seems like good living.

I expect that my turning around to love on my neighbor as myself was "doing" who I want to "be."  As I reflect on the reality of this simple situation - I'm so thankful for the changes in my life that've reduced my self focus and turned my eyes and heart more towards others.

There'll be happiness and joy within the community of the only church in town.  They'll be a sort of organism that values each of their unique parts - they'll know it takes all of the parts of a body for it to function as He designed.  Praise God for the Body of Christ worked out in the Light.

Just for today...

"Many a solution to a difficulty of my own has come to me while I was helping someone else."  One Day at a Time (p. 304)

"Know me; Not you - Quietly heard; Built anew."
"Woven friends; Beyond sight - Valued living;  Levered might."   Am I a Poet?

October 22nd - Act the person you wanna be?

The story...

During my mid-life years, I went fishing to recreate.  Inevitably, I'd call my dad to tell him what happened.  I knew that he was interested in fishing, and he seemed to appreciate learning about my episodes too.  There was a sort of give-and-take in those conversations - we were both able  to "check in" with each other.

I lost most of my interest in fishing after my dad died.  Strangely, I seem to have gone fishing to reexperience good feelings from early years.  Maybe I wanted my dad to know that I was okay and that I appreciated him in a way that I could communicate.  

My dad was a good man.  Yet, he wasn't able to meet some of my significant needs.  I accepted this truth and loved him, thankfully, for who he was.

I do fish now for different reasons.  I no longer seek my dad's approval and I don't need to be fishing with another person to be fulfilled - I'm "okayer," more thankful and content.

The only church in town will be a place where you can meet a close friend, friends, community, and God within view of that bright Light that's God's revealed Word.  Why not honestly live out life within community as opposed to acting out on your own?  You're an important part of this epic story of life - why not live out your part together?

Just for today...

"Expecting him to be a nurturing person was unrealistic . . . I adopted some of his character defects as my own . . . I needed to give myself what was not in his power to give - love, acceptance, wisdom, a safe childhood, and a healthy initiation into manhood."  Hope for Today (p. 296)

"Dad's power; Knew all - Chinked armor; Dropped ball."
"Merely man; Surprised to see - Led to God; Christ in me."     Am I a Poet?

October 16th - Am I worthy of love and tenderness?

The story...

A friend of mind mocked what I was doing one day - they alluded to my way of living as kind of trivial or unimportant.  Maybe they were: comparing their life to mine, wanting something more from me, or acting out a habit of putting me in my place so that they might feel okayer.  I needed friendship-love; but, I was hit with chisels and sandpaper - biting, rough, dusty, and uncomfortable.

What do I do about it?  Do I let them know how being marginalized feels?  Do I treat them similarly?  Do I set up new boundaries to prevent future corrosion and hurt?  Or, do I first treat me with the love, respect and tenderness that I don't often receive from others?   I'd rather actually be okay, in the light of day, with who I truly am - know and value me.

I hope that everybody attending the only church in town will feel okay, loved, and supported within the Body of Christ. Why?  The group is gifted with what we need.  If your mom wasn't gifted to be nurturing, you'll fill find nurturing mom's who are empowered and freer to love.  Your mom will be free to exercise and give her gifts too. 

We're okay when we trust what the Son of God did on our behalf.  Our self-willed attempts to be good and accepted by others are powerless.  He's risen from the dead and seated at the right-hand of God making intercession for those who trust in Him and His GREAT work.  He says that belief/trust/faith in the atoning work of the Lamb of God positions us with Him.  I'm safe, sound, and empowered in Christ.

Just for today...

"When I treat myself with love and tenderness, I am better able to deal with the challenges that life presents. I have a chance to feel good, even surrounded by crisis."  Courage to Change (p. 290)

"Your reflection; Ain't from me - Your prodigy; Won't be."
"Mold and shape; To no avail - "Helping" ideas; Truly assail."
"Try to act ; Can I be? - Christ saved ; Truly me."     Am I a Poet?

October 5th - Do Eeyores have to be Eeyores?

The story...

We've seen others isolate themselves after extended periods of rejection - not receiving the love they needed - they seem to've given up.  They may appear as an Eeyore or not appear at all.

Maybe they looked for love in all the wrong places.  Or, maybe they expected that all their love needs should've been met by their parents or that illusive life-long partner.

Looking for love in all the wrong places.

I hope that the only church in town will be the community where they engage in life - experiencing the giving and receiving of love.  What will be that source of strength and love?   They'll have the book that offers really "good news."  They might just learn about, and hopefully experience, "The" source within the only church in town.  "Ain't that good news . . . man ain't that news."

Just for today...

"I did choose to give my younger brother things I wanted myself in order to win his love. I did decide to shut off my feelings from my family . . . I had to look at why I chose to become involved with unavailable people . . . My choices reflect my opinion of a relationship with myself."  Hope for Today (p. 278)

"I have a choice about where to focus my attention. I'm challenged to find positive qualities in myself, my circumstances, and other human beings . . . It may be difficult to break a long-established pattern of depression, doom-sayings, and complaining, but it's worth the effort."  Courage to Change (p. 278)

"Sought good; In the crowd - Egos met; Wounded proud."
"Christ ones met; Livin new - Knowing God; Truly true."    Am I a Poet?

September 26th - There's me, us, and you - me is me, we are we, and you are you.

The story...

We were sitting on the porch talking about two mutual friends.  One of that pair had delivered clear feedback to the other, and even set up a new personal boundary, in order to protect their friendship. My friend commented that friends do give specific personal feedback when they have to: "that's what friends do."  The next day I delivered specific personal feedback to that same friend - they reacted negatively and defensively - it was difficult to deliver the one-time feedback in a way that was received let alone acknowledged.  The exchange was difficult, uncomfortable; yet, I think it worked out best.

Maybe good friends tell their friend their perceived truth once  - not nagging or trying to persuade.  Should friends focus on the relationship and not on reforming or reframing each others minds or souls?  I think my friends have the space to share their mind and soul, as they will to, while we respect each other's "space."  I'm okay with my friends just as they are - that's a strong foundation to build on and to grow from too.  We grow together.

The only church in town would be a place where people might find truer friends who they can grow together with.  Everyone would have at least one "good" friend to walk side by side with along their journey towards that celestial city.

Just for today...

"Smugness is the very worst sin of all, I believe. It is difficult for a shaft of light to pierce the armor of self-righteousness. Many of the things I thought I did unselfishly turned out to be pure rationalizations to get my own way about something."  One Day at a Time (p. 270)

"At our wedding ceremony, the minister said, '... and the two shall become one,' and we did, 'We' became 'him.'"  Hope for Today (p. 270)

"Your soul's yours; Wonderfully you - My soul's mine; Respectfully true."
"We have stuff; Our bounded story - Built and tilled; To His glory."   Am I a Poet?

September 21st - When you find yourself in a hole - quit digging.

The story...

I was waiting in a McDonalds line on the way back from a trip where I was less than a team player.  For whatever reasons, I resented efforts from other people to bend my plans for our two-family trip.  Surely I knew that others had different expectations, perceptions, needs and wants; yet, I seemed to think I knew best for everyone.  I was frustrated with everything about that restaurant and the people who were there too.  It was bad enough that I remember thinking - "this is not okay, you need to be different."  Something had to change - I remember waiting in the line and pondering the situation - it must have been an impactful life moment.  "There's got to be a better way."

How do we know when we're not acting or thinking as a whole person - missing something that we need to make wise decisions?  We might: think wrongly; act selfishly; resent what others do or seem to be; remain ignorant; isolate from compadres; try to prevent wounds; please people; be co-dependent; or choose to be bad.  As if those reasons aren't enough to pause before acting, the acronym HALT comes to mind - pause if you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.

The only church in town can offer a true message of hope, peace, and joy (Romans 15:13).   Might a good life be characterized as walking more humbly, honestly and truthfully with God?   Yes...

Just for today...

"Although my life was full of chaos, it was familiar chaos, which gave me the feeling that I had some control over it. This was an illusion."  Courage to Change (p. 265)

"With my thoughts distorted by fear, despair and resentment, and my nerves overwrought, I could not think clearly nor make wise decisions."  One Day at a Time (p. 265)

"Fearful chaos; Builds shell - Honest love; All's well."
"Fruit born; Tasted sweet - Body grew; Evil defeat."   Am I a Poet?

August 31st - Are you looking for a friend or a pet?

The story...

Earlier in life, I had a difficult time maintaining friendships.  They took too much effort and I inevitably neglected the friendship - it'd sort of drift away.  I assumed that drifting and changing relationships were natural and sort of like the ebbs and flow of life.  I may've neglected them when they ceased to provide me what I wanted or the other person wasn't who I wanted them to be.  Maybe they disagreed with my opinions or had dissimilar interests.  We were different.  Was I looking for a friend or a pet?

Why didn't I tend to accept people as unique individuals and enjoy the differences?  Did I really need to have them agree with me in order for them and me to be okay together?  Were my behaviors learned from my family or did I develop them over time as a sort of personal protection?  I don't know why I behaved that way I did.  Today, I'm enjoying deeper relationships - relationships that may be characterized as mutually respectful, honest, growing, and walking together towards a common aim.

Good place to develop friendships.

The only church in town will be a "rich" field for growing fruitful relationships.  You'll find people to walk alongside as you work out purposeful lives together - fruit bearing lives - more meaningful and loving relationships.

Just for today...

"I will not expect too much; this will shield me from being annoyed at little things that don't go just the way I wanted them to."  One Day at a Time (p. 244)

"I have often tried to change other people to suit my own desires. I knew what I needed, and if those needs weren't met, the problem was with the other person. I was looking for somebody who would always be there but wouldn't impose on me very much. Looking back, It's almost as if I were looking for a pet rather than a human being."  Courage to Change (p. 244)

"Perhaps you should try believing that I believe."  Hope for Today (p. 244)

"Wanted a friend; Got a pet - In control; Faithlessly wet."   Am I a Poet?

August 22nd - Live an honest, hopeful, joyful, and peaceful life?

The story...

What a joy to spend a couple of hours with a good friend sharing life together - the time investment always seem fruitful.  Good friends share common: stories, reference points, sense of safety, and knowledge that the other has their better interest at heart.  They're fellow sojourners who're truly willing and able to understand and grow together.  I'm so thankful for my good friends... 

It seems that all of my most probing meaning-of-life discussions have drilled down to a most important directive that God has revealed:  "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and strength.  And, love your neighbor as yourself."  So, why not just go out and love God, love yourself, and, from these strengths and power, love your neighbors too?  Well, it's because it's not within our constitution, will, and power do so.  Yet people try hard to be a better version of themselves and even fund a never-ending series of self-help books to help them try.  Self-improvement efforts likely end up trying to bend reality to suit our will with us acting as a sort of pathetic little "god."  A little god may imagine their attributes to be far greater than they are and find pleasure in thinking that all others want to be more like them.  They often spew out "advice" and direction as to how others might be reworked into their own self-image of perfection.  UGH...

So, how might we take the first step of loving God when our sin is abhorrent to, and incompatible with, a relationship with Him?  We might will an imaginary idea of God who is compatible with our life code and experiences; yet, there's no real power in that.  We could listen to the good news, the gospel, that God has done all the work of removing our relationship sin barrier through His own great work in Christ.  Simply trust in God's great work and walk through life in His light of truth where reality and sin are illuminated for what they are.  Why not walk the path of living a more honest, humble, hopeful, joyful, and peaceful life in Christ?  Romans 15:13  Not following the path by doubting the possibility is _ _ _ _ _ _!

The good news of the gospel would be the common theme of every meeting within the only church in town.  People would hear the good news and the life testimonies of real people.  Close friends will likely be found there too - those whom you are capable of walking side-by-side won your common journey to the celestial city.  I hope that you'll join me in praising God in Christ and resting in thankfulness, peace, and the power of God almighty.  

Why not "listen" to Paul's letter to the people in Colossae called Colossians where He explains our condition in Christ and how to be - takes about 15 minutes.  There's great value in "listening" to the full letter to better understand the full intended message.

Just for today...

"Yet what do I do with the thorns of resentment and hatred when they pierce my thoughts? Do I leave them there and watch them grow, while I suffer increasingly from the pain?"  One Day at a Time (p. 235)

"I wanted to know how to become an adult with sound values, self-respect, and self-esteem. I sought this lesson from everybody - my parents, employers, spouses, children, friends etc.  - everybody but God and myself . . . I had to stop sabotaging myself by looking on the outside for something that exists only within."   Hope for Today (p. 235)

"He loved me; Loved Him too - He's in me; Wants you too."      Am I a Poet?

August 19th - Hang onto relationships loosely

The story...

It's best to hold a tennis racket and handlebars loosely - gripping too tightly over corrects and can take us where we don't wanna go quickly.  My first rides on my KLR in deep sand were out of control and scary.  What I learned about riding motorcycles in deep sand seems to apply to life too.

• Don't sit down - stay balanced on your feet
• Relax your mind and your body will follow - fight the urge to grip too hard
• Do your steering through your feet weighting the pegs.
• Maintain momentum - consistent throttle control
• When done right, it's like a dance - joyful.

If I look back twenty years, most of the people, places and things have changed.  They'd have changed no matter how hard I tried to keep them the way I thought best.  If I wouldn't have been open to new people, places, things, and ideas - Id have missed out on much of the joy of life.

I'm learning to hold onto relationships less tightly - they change and are best when freely offered and accepted.  Sometimes what I thought I wanted was not what they could actually give or accept. "Stay balanced and let them be."  They may choose to dance a similar dance as you yet not with you - that's okay.  Let them live their own life and enjoy the few close dance partners that you do have - be willing to let them go and be open to new ones too.

The only church in town will be a good place to develop life-giving relationships.  Hopefully, the relationships will be characterized as freely offered, graceful, forgiving, and changing too.  Your relationship with God, through faith in Christ, is obviously the most important.  He's the foundation for the best relationships - those dances that're part of a joyful life lived out in ever-changing circumstances.

Just for today...

"Imagine bad; Anxious worry - Obsessive thoughts; In a hurry."
"Quiet soul; Can it be? - Faith in God; He's the key."   Am I a Poet?

August 17th - Our personality, a collection of habits with a few go-tos?

The story...

Being an storyteller helped me garner the interest of other people.  I learned how to select the topic, grab their attention, inflect my voice, include humor, add color, keep the pace, and wow them with the finish. The habit may've started at our family dinner table - what worked there seems to have adapted and worked out into my personality.  I took my storyteller persona wherever I went.

A good story teller isn't smarter, taller or better looking.  They don't play better basketball or trumpets.  And, they certainly aren't natural listeners or empathizers.  Sure, there were times that I "flexed" my style and was surprised at how good it felt to be a more whole person.  Then, I'd get hurt, withdrawal, heal alone, and return to telling my stories. 

The college-bar scene seemed to be a most wonderful place for me.  Storytellers are valued and relationship development seemed easy - most people are happy to see you enter the room.  When relationships toughened, I moved on to a different group and place.  Yet, too much led to . . . and dysfunctional relationships.  Some of my friends couldn't balance learning and debauchery too - they dropped out of the race - the game.  

The textbook author advised me - he did the best he could.

In my super-senior year, when the college stuff was no longer new and full of possibilities, I listened to a football player who told me about what he heard within a group called: Fellowship of Christian Athletes.  I was surprised by his declaration of Christian principles worked out in the reality of his life - he was surprised at the life change too.  Then Steve and Marlene invited me to attend their campus church - they were the first people that I recalled earnestly inviting me to a church.  It "felt" right - I wondered how my college experience might have been different if...

It would be easier to invite people to the only church in town - it'd be the only option.  Please, earnestly invite somebody to church already.  If invited, experience the potential good.  It's so... good to be free from the tyrannical rule of self and be a functional member within the body of Christ.  Galatians (5:1)

Just for today...

"Many of us develop clever methods of surviving in . . . situation, such as denial or secrecy . . . What once allowed us to function in a nearly impossible situation is now an obstacle for further growth . . . Sometimes we must accept ourselves, defects and all, before those defects are removed."  Courage to Change (p. 230)

"Today I'll stop minding other people's business and create some business of my own to mind." Hope for Today (p. 230)

"Like 'em all; How'd it be? - Christ-body truth; Love in me."   Am I a Poet?

August 16th - Are close relationships worth it?

The story...

When was I suppose to learn about the value of, and processes for, developing relationships?  I greatly valued my family but close relationships didn't happen there - I remained guarded and protected from each of 'em.  Didn't happen within grade school were I learned we were all different.  The neighborhood friends lasted a few years yet weren't very close.  Boy Scouts offered opportunities yet seemed to focus on activities, achievement and rewards.  They didn't happen at my local church - I assumed that the right people just weren't there.  I found closer relationships among band members and lunch-time friends yet they were situational and not very deep.  I didn't have the close boy-girl friendship in high school that some found.  The closer relationships that I developed during my college years were really important to me - I learned much about me and others there.  My hopes were set on that close relationship that I'd have with my future spouse - I looked forward to meeting her and growing our close relationship together.  

I'm so thankful for my relationship with my life partner.  We've grown much over the years while working out a right relationship as seen under the truth of God's bright Word.

Deer relationships - need each other?

Might the relationships we desire, to help us live a more full and satisfying life, be found within the only church in town?  You've had relationships with many people throughout your life; yet, those within a church will likely be somewhat different. There will be opportunities for: Casual friends who reflect community diversity and principles;  Close friends who you may walk side-by-side with toward the common goal;  Or, maybe a growing and deeper relationship with a spouse.  I hope that you'd find your most satisfying and lasting relationship between you and your Creator - spirit to Spirit.

Just for today...

Were you looking for someone who meets your needs but expects little of you?  Maybe you were looking for a pet or a dog?

"Lookin fer love; Pets are only -Distractedly shallow; Feelin lonely."
"Body of Christ; Fully Him - Abounding love; Come on in."   Am I a Poet?

August 14th - The journey - take the first step, or pedal, together.

The story...

My best friend and I rode our bicycles, round trip, between Muskegon, MI and just past Mears, MI, in 2023 - 71 miles.  She was training for a bike tour across Iowa and I'd ridden about 40 miles YTD.  If you want to experience a break from your routine, beauty, wonder, new feelings, a strong sense of accomplishment, and inevitable aching, then why not oil up your bike and get started?  Plan for it, do it, and enjoy it with others who are "like minded."

1. Miles 1 thru 10:  Wow, how fast I can go - yes I'll commit to the full ride.
2. Miles 11 thru 20: We can stop there on the way home - that's something to look forward to.
3. Miles 21 thru 30: I am so thankful for today - it's perfect.
4. Miles 31 thru 40: I wasn't prepared - I'm beginning to suffer more than she is - a head wind.
5. Miles 41 thru 50:  I need to stop but keep going - the dairy creamery was soo... good.
6. Miles 51 thru 60:  My head's down, trying to be efficient - average speed drops - suffering.
7. Miles 61 thru 70: I'm almost home - now I have the faith that I'll make it.
8. Last mile:  So thankful and happy - maybe a touch of joy?

It felt so good to complete the trip.  The finish point was close to a favorite pizza place - Bernie O's. Sharing a large "Twist" pizza together was great. My Apple watch congratulated me with all kinds of awards for completing the 5.5 hour trek.  I was dehydrated and it took hours to begin to feel normal again.  Yet, I was better off having completed the trek with my best friend.  There were tons of reasons for joy and happiness.  What a joy it is to be alive.

The only church in town will offer opportunities for long journeys amongst friends and fellow travelers within the Body of Christ.  A place where the will of God may be worked out both together and more completely.

Just for today...

"Working in unity for a common purpose does more than strengthen both partners individually. It draws them together." One Day at a Time (p. 227)

"Sometimes I need to feel the feelings and then act anyway." Courage to Change (p. 227)

"I tell myself that just as thinking doesn't make it so, neither does feeling make it so. My life is going to work out according to God's will regardless of how I feel, so why try to manipulate situations to avoid the unavoidable - human emotions?"  Hope for Today (p. 227)

"Listen to 'em; Goin along - We're a movin; Singin the song."   Am I a Poet?

August 7th - Now more important than then?

The story...

If we're able to reflect upon our lives in eternity, which decade might we value most?

• 1st, Grew, trusted and dependent on parents, learned about capabilities.
• 2nd, Entered relationships outside family and community - chose a career to "act" out.
• 3rd, Became more interdependent and lived more outside family circle.
• 4th, Honed career-role and tried to pass learned values to kids.
• 5th, Accepted physical decline and limitations - tried out imagined best life.
• 6th, Living more self aware, valuing relationships, and appreciating peace and rest.
• 7th, Trust in God with little confidence in me?

Maybe all the reflections of  life will fill eternal eyes or heart with feeling, understanding and love.  Personally, I'm so thankful for every part of life, especially the meaningful relationships.

Marmalade - Reflections Of My Life (1969) 

The only church in town wouldn't be perfect nor best meet anyone's needs and wants.  Each person is wonderfully unique and living within their own season of life - a component of the body of Christ.  I can only imagine how the Word of God, the Spirit of Christ, and loving relationships might work out both here and in eternity.

Just for today...

"Trust God; Actualities true - Creator knows; He's gifted you."
"Valuing others; Appreciating all - Being present; Standing tall."
"Best friend's be; Patient with you - Good and kind, Lovin 'em through."
"Flesh's bad; Spirit's there - Ebb and flow; Ya know where."    Am I a Poet?

July 26th - Why listen to them?

The story...

Some people seem to love other people better and more naturally listen to them.  Yet, most people seem to be primarily focused on themselves and find it difficult to really listen to and care for others.  I experienced most of my life trying to be a good listener; but, my mind naturally drifted back to me and my aims.  Self-help listening methods seemed to help me be a better listener; yet, my inner-man continued to be primarily focused on me.

Manfred Mann's Earth Band (1976)

My heart has changed and I now do love other people more and truly want to understand them and their stories.  I believe it's a work of the Spirit of God in my life.  Praise God that I'm freer to love and be loved.

Why would I choose to return to a more self-focused life?  I greatly value my relationships and listening to better understand.  Seeking first to understand truly is an important part of both starting and growing relationships.

Yes, I'd choose to attend the only church in town, share the Word of God, and work out my faith with co-sojourners.  I am a Christ-one and will be no other.

Just for today...

"As a child in a _______ home, I wasn't encouraged to share my viewpoints. When I did, I didn't feel as though anyone was listening. Someone always ended up walking away hurt or angry. . .  I've learned not to use my authority to push my viewpoint or to punish someone for disagreeing with me. I've also learned to avoid controversy by listening and encouraging others to share their viewpoints when making decisions."  Hope for Today (p. 208)

"We can't seem to get around to thinking about what we may be doing that damages us. . . Do I seek relief from my resentments by retaliation, instead of forgiveness? . . .What shall it profit a man to be right if he thereby make an enemy?"  One Day at a Time (p. 208)

"God grows people; Here on earth - He indwells His; Meet Him here."
"He ushers home; His in Christ - To His presence; Thy perfect fit."    Am I a Poet?

July 22nd - Might we drop our cloaking shields to let in precious relationships?

The story...

I attended a week-night class, at our church, when I was 64.  I sat in the same seat next to three people who were significantly different from me.  Each evening, the leader would break us into small groups to answer two questions.  The second question normally opened the opportunity for our "guards" to be lowered so that we might listen more closely to each other's inner person - their heart.   As you might guess, we became good friends and I love each of them more deeply than most people at our church.  These three relationships were an unexpected blessing to me.

There were other people in the class who I've known much longer than my three new friends.  I don't share the same type of relationship with them.  I probably could but I don't.

Thankfully I stayed curious + made friends

The only church in town would be a place where it might seem normal for a person to meet another co-sojourner and ask earnestly "how's your heart today?"  And, you might perform a 3-sec.self-inventory and respond that you are both thankful and joyful despite the circumstances that you're currently experiencing.

Just for today...

"I don't have to like everybody, but I want to look deeper to find the spirit that we share in common . . . I will keep an open mind toward each person I encounter today. If I am ready to learn, anyone can be my teacher."  Courage to Change (p. 204)

"Stranger speaks; Truly listen - Care to know; Hearts glisten."   Am I a Poet?

July 10th - Curious George

The story...

Curious George was my favorite character from the books I read as a  young boy.  I was surprised and sad when the librarian told me that I'd read the whole series.  There were no more Curious George books to read - "no, that can't be!"  George was true to his nature, as a monkey, but loved and respected the man in the yellow hat who often saved him from the troubles that he encountered as he ventured forth.  George wondered what if..., or where might..., or how does..., or who is..., or what will that do?  George pushed the limits and experienced a more full and adventurous life - he didn't "play it safe."

I expect the book series was popular because people want to experience a "bigger" life yet they play it safe to avoid risks of failure, rejection, injury...  Yet, playing it safe often results in a more isolated, smaller, anxious, and lonely self.  I'm thankful for every close relationship and new experience that helped stretch the boundaries of life.  Yes, when I'm okay with myself, I'm more free to enjoy other people just as they are.  Wow, what a neat thing to be truly interested in the lives of the other pilgrims who're traveling on alongside.  

I wonder what will happen today, who I will meet, or how the Lord will work His way through the lives of those who are His. Yes, I'm thankful to be a curious sort.

The only church in town would include many who greatly value their relationships.  The source of their willingness to be curious will be the peace they currently enjoy in God through Christ - they risk experiencing love with a strong sense that they're okay.  This best relationship can serve as a foundation for taking our eyes off ourselves and truly, and more honestly, toward others.

Just for today...

"I won't let old, limiting ideas and doubts go unchallenged.  I may discover strengths and talents that never had the chance to come to light."  Courage to Change (p. 192)

"Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they're yours."  Richard Bach.

"Most folks are about as happy as they make up their mind to be."  Abraham Lincoln

"Shoulda; oughta - Gotta; Must."
"You can't; It won't - Try it; You'll see."
"Freedom rang; First stepped - Life began; It's me."
"Kindness felt; Eyes saw - Love's real; Pain an all."   Am I a Poet?

July 4th - Will somebody sit next to me?

The story...

I sat next to a woman on a train to Milwaukee one day.  Unexpectedly, we shared much of the important parts of our lives.  Kristen let me know that she had her eye removed with hopes of eradicating the cancer in her body; yet, she recently discovered that the cancer traveled to her liver.  There was no known cure for that type of cancer.  She participated in a sort of holistic program to extend her life with the hope that a new, yet unknown solution, might materialize.

She was a positive person with much support in her life.   We discussed living in 3-month intervals; the pros and cons of hoping for a miracle; difficulties related to thinking about future plans; and the important parts of life that might make a difference into eternity.  I think that we encouraged each other and were both better off for having met and listened to each other with open hearts.  I'm glad that I chose to sit next to her.  I wrote a prayer card and placed it in my prayer box.  I hope that she lives a long fruitful life yet I'll probably never know - we shared only our first names.  I wish now we would have traded e-mail addresses.

The only church in town would likely be a place where congregates might expect conversations regarding life's challenges and eternal realities with open, honest, and humble God-trusting people.  Human wisdom and hope have limited value when interment is in view.

Just for today...

• Value each person we meet - it's a miracle that each of us is alive.
• Be open to God's leading and resist temptations to be your own little god.
• Seek to understand them - you might open an opportunity to both give and receive love.

"Body of Christ; Here today - Community built; His Way."   Am I a Poet?

June 11th - Valued Relationships

The story...

Relationships in college seemed easier for me.  We lived and ate in the same place, shared similar schedules and academic challenges, were about the same age, attended similar social events, drank beer together, and most of our lives had yet to be written.  I thought I was free to play and be whoever I wanted to be.

Marston Hall - The library was my favorite study place.

Many college students had enough of community living after about two years.  They wanted to be free of the forced relationship hassles and rules related to community living - they moved off campus. Personally, I didn't understand why people would want to clean a house, shovel sidewalks, buy and cook food, and work out the domestic life with just a few other people.   I liked to visit houses like that but I also enjoyed returning to the dorm community.

During my Junior year, I attended the going-away parties for friends who were graduating or just leaving Ames, IA.  Parties for guys seemed to be more optimistic than for girls - girl parties seemed more like a wake or funeral.  Maybe the girls were more in tune with their feelings or had closer relationships than guys did.  Anyway, I always planned an event that I could escape to rather than lingering at the "wakes."

Then it happened to me.  I had my own apartment in Knoxville, TN.  I had friends yet I felt isolation and loneliness.  Soon, a new friend invited me to connect with a parachurch.  I've been part of a church community ever since.  The purpose of the college community was to grow me, grow my understanding and transform me into a productive member of society - be somebody organizations needed.  The church community had aims of making me a better person rightly related to God and others too.

The only church in town would primarily preach and teach the gospel about how a man can be reconciled with God and have an ongoing relationship with Him.  They'd work out Truth into the reality of their life walk and community too.   The community life and person-to-person relationships would be good yet of secondary importance.

Just for today...

"I was unable to discuss my personal life with my mother.  Fearing her rejection, I rejected her instead . . . I realized that the opportunity to be close to her had always existed, but I hadn't been willing, until then, to take part in it."  Courage to Change (p. 163)

"Hurt people; Reacted feelings - Go away; Need you bad."   Am I a Poet?