October 13th - Being who you are or who they want you to be?

The story...

There's a guy I knew who experienced health changes that resulted in him being less inhibited and less likely to behave within accepted group-norm boundaries.  I looked forward to his more interesting, vibrant, and refreshing group shares.  He honestly broke the rules - you didn't know what he'd say next.  He spontaneously spoke from his heart.  He seemed to bypass the filters that most of us have refined throughout the years by adapting to group behavior norms.  The group enforces those rules either subtly or directly.

We seem more fun as ourselves rather than acting out our assigned group role.  I expect a group matures more when members act more naturally rather than "try" to conform to the idealized "best" role.  This idea may support casual, rather than formal, dress within community.  Certainly  there are times when its best to agree to be better version of ourselves for the good of us all.  Formal dress does suggest the group's desire to act and behave according to a standard that might be more desirable and honorable.  "If everybody would just _____ everything would be fine - just like it use to be."

The only church in town would teach about the Body of Christ and the expected uniqueness of each of the members.  Like a body, there are mouths, ears, little-toes, knees, hair follicles, and eyes - each uniquely equipped to serve their role.  The body will not function as designed unless each part behaves as designed - we all can't be like the mouth (1 Cor. 12:12-27).  The family would frequently remind each other of this mystical union that's facilitated and empowered by the Spirit of God - God working out His will amongst and through community.   We can actually enjoy each part of the body.

Just for today...

"Did this behavior get me what I wanted or encourage me to feel good about myself?  When I took a good look, I realized that the answer to the question was 'No.'  Loud, angry words and actions demonstrated my frustration and pushed away all hope for peaceful solutions to my problems . . . Easy does it."  Courage to Change (p. 287)

"Eyes off me; I see you - We need us; Need you too."
"Abide in Him; Safely sound - Be as one; Love abound."   Am I a Poet?

September 21st - When you find yourself in a hole - quit digging.

The story...

I was waiting in a McDonalds line on the way back from a trip where I was less than a team player.  For whatever reasons, I resented efforts from other people to bend my plans for our two-family trip.  Surely I knew that others had different expectations, perceptions, needs and wants; yet, I seemed to think I knew best for everyone.  I was frustrated with everything about that restaurant and the people who were there too.  It was bad enough that I remember thinking - "this is not okay, you need to be different."  Something had to change - I remember waiting in the line and pondering the situation - it must have been an impactful life moment.  "There's got to be a better way."

How do we know when we're not acting or thinking as a whole person - missing something that we need to make wise decisions?  We might: think wrongly; act selfishly; resent what others do or seem to be; remain ignorant; isolate from compadres; try to prevent wounds; please people; be co-dependent; or choose to be bad.  As if those reasons aren't enough to pause before acting, the acronym HALT comes to mind - pause if you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.

The only church in town can offer a true message of hope, peace, and joy (Romans 15:13).   Might a good life be characterized as walking more humbly, honestly and truthfully with God?   Yes...

Just for today...

"Although my life was full of chaos, it was familiar chaos, which gave me the feeling that I had some control over it. This was an illusion."  Courage to Change (p. 265)

"With my thoughts distorted by fear, despair and resentment, and my nerves overwrought, I could not think clearly nor make wise decisions."  One Day at a Time (p. 265)

"Fearful chaos; Builds shell - Honest love; All's well."
"Fruit born; Tasted sweet - Body grew; Evil defeat."   Am I a Poet?

September 7th - Do you actually "know" the territory?

The story...

A preacher once shared a transformational story with me.  It went like this: He was traveling across country, with two other pastors, as they discussed the difference between people knowing about God and actually enjoying a close fruit-bearing relationship with Him.  He likened the situation to knowing all about London, his home town, yet never actually living or even visiting.  You could know the map or zoom in on Google map images in fine detail.  You may know about key historical events, learn their language, practice their customs, dress like them, and even cook the same food.  Yet, you'd never really know the territory - what it's like to "be" part of a particular London neighborhood.

Pastor Henry Hudson

Most of us have spent a lotta time in classrooms learning about things; memorizing facts; understanding how things relate to each other; and applying some.  We may even feel we've mastered a subject without actually stepping into the territory.  I hope this isn't where people leave their faith journey.

Scripture confirms that God provided a way for His creatures to enjoy an intimate relationship with Him.  The relationship can be so close that we may even refer to Him as daddy - "Abba Father."  Many people hear this truth, understand the possibility, and memorize the verses; yet, they haven't actually experienced the relationship.  

People attending the only church in town might reasonably expect to witness the power of God actually worked out through His people.  They'd hear about ongoing prayer and quiet meditation being a natural part of that relationship.  They'd experience actual fruit of: love, joy, peace, patience. goodness, kindness, gentleness and self control.  Those who walk more honest and humbly with God would more naturally live out the life they've been given.  Yes, the Body of Christ worked out in reality.  Each person witnessing and experiencing faith in God's Word worked out together.

Just for today...

"Eventually I felt more comfortable with my abilities and discovered talents I didn't know I had. I even began to feel capable of doing what was asked of me. Before I realized it, I was the one giving loving guidance. It took some time to see, but I had become a leader."  Hope for Today (p. 251)

"Eye followed; Across the bar - Led another; Went too far."
"Heard wrong;  Recalled fact -  True North; Dropped the act."    Am I a Poet?

August 10th - Want to dwell in the past?

The story...

An unexpected life victory occurred during my 64th year of life.  I traveled on my motorcycle to a location where my family annually vacationed together.  In the past, visits like this would trigger fond memories that I longed and even ached over.   Camping sites, trails, kids doing similar things, and the scene of  that one time long ago. Often, the longing would be linked with a deep feeling of loss - something that I couldn't return to no matter what.  On this particular visit, I more fully enjoyed the present.  I didn't forget the past memories but I didn't camp with them either - they seemed to help color the present more vibrantly. 

You might be speculating as to whether the loss of those "good ole day" strong feelings is either good or bad.  If we spent enough time actually understanding each other, I expect we'd agree that living more fully in our present reality is the better condition.

Netflix created a beautiful limited TV series called "The Queen's Gambit."  In one scene, Beth says: "I feel safe in an entire world with just 64 squares."  She developed an obsessive compulsion that helped her cope with reoccurring childhood memories.

I hope that people who attend the only church in town, will be compelled, and feel safe enough, to relax their coping skills. In a more rested and peaceful state, they may resist those compelling habits, and open their eyes more fully as to what's really going on.  They might risk putting their chessboard, with it's 64 spaces, back in the box.  Maybe their soul, mind, and spirt will compel them to pack up their campsite and begin walking again on their life journey.  What a wonderful thing to walk, with God, alongside a person who's living life more fully in the present where God and life are.

Just for today...

"As a child I lived in a fantasy world where to think it so would make it so. Combined with my need for perfectionism and self-control, I believed I could think myself out of reacting emotionally to people and situations.  I carried these misperceptions into adulthood. In my denial, I thought I could make myself not feel anything. I had practiced being tough for a long time."  Hope for Today (p. 223)

"Don't wanna hurt; What to do? - Isolate with me; Away from you."
"Suffer loneliness; Keeping me out - Suffocating bubble; Complain and pout."
"Ray of Sonshine; Peaks thru cracks - Believe the Truth; We're bustin out!"   Am I a Poet?

August 9th - "If it's all the same with you..."

The story...

It's never the same with me or with you - we're always different.  As the old saying (idiom) goes, the only things we can be certain of are death and taxes.  It's true that we we'll all live out our lives and our bodies will die.  Some seem to die too early while others suffer late into their 90's - we all meet a common fate. Then...

Why do many think that it's a reasonable thing to try to fix, manage, and control others in an effort to experience their imagined "best" life?  Does everybody need to behave the way we'd like them to in order for us to be happy?  Can we all be okay with each other without attempting to mold others into our own vision of what's "best?"  Can we be okay with ourselves when others want us to be different - "if it's all the same with you."

The Dream, Capitalism and Virtue Working Together?

The only church in town will offer dignity and respect to everybody who walks through their doors.  They'd proclaim our being God's creatures who're created differently.  He's sovereignly worked out His way throughout the ages - enjoying a relationship with those whose hearts were/are right with Him.  He enjoys, and is a Father to, each person who walks with Him through faith in Christ.   Grace, grace, wonderful grace...

Just for today...

"Can I express myself today, free of expectations of how others will react?"  Hope for Today (p. 222)

"I was too busy trying to be what I thought others wanted me to be, afraid people wouldn't accept me  the way I am."  Courage to Change (p. 222)

"There are many good reasons to keep myself from harboring resentful thoughts. They can grow into savage attacks on other human beings . . . emotional scars."  One Day at a Time (p. 222)

"We're different; Easy to know - You're an ear; I'm a toe."
"Together a body; Wonderfully made - A toe alone; Will surely fade."    Am I a Poet?

August 5th - I needed to be asked.

The story.,.

Ottumwa, Iowa was my hometown - about 30,000 people.  My employment options were limited; yet. I found work - paper routes and my job as a drug-store delivery boy.  There were other kids whose jobs had different pay, hours, relationships, and location.  But, I was thankful for the job that I had.  I knew both people who held the jobs before me and they both asked me if I'd like to take over the job - I'm thankful they asked. 

Yes, I'm comfortable with my life patterns and often do need to be asked to make changes.  After I'm asked, accept, and learn my new role, I often ask myself, why did I need to be asked?  Was I really free to choose before being asked?  Was I behaving complacently without accurately assessing my condition and environment?  Was I really self aware as to what was going on?

Since people in the USA are free to move within the country, it's reasonable to assume that our current job and community is not the best possible fit; however, relationships are real, valuable, and are lost with each job or community shift.

My current home in Western Michigan is great and I've no plans of leaving.  What if someone asks me to switch communities in order to fulfill a new job or role?  Would I be sensitive enough to the Will of God that I'd choose the better life-course correction?

Switching churches won't be a problem if there's only one church in town; yet, the decision to trust God and engage in the church community will be a big one for every soul who enters their doors.  Their imagined self, that they've crafted and adapted throughout their life, will be at risk there.  They'll hear about a better-to-best life where they can be free to be their truer selves. "It was for freedom that Christ set us free."  Galatians 5:1

Just for today...

"No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched."  George Jean Nathan

"As with every other aspect of my life, I didn't believe I deserved better."  Hope for Today (p. 218)

"Ask them, Ask me - Bind together, Buildin we."   Am I a Poet?

July 24th - God created me with a will but it isn't His.

The story...

That Friday trip to Ludington State Park, on on my new yellow-KLR motorcycle, was wonderful.  I rode a new route and saw things that I'd previously ignored.  It seems I was often rushing in a quest to either get to a better place or to rush home as quickly as possible. 

Wow! Ludington Pumped Storage Plant

The weather was good, the people were friendly, the waitress was extra helpful, and the state park looked just like I left it - there were nice improvements.  Yet, the highlight of my trip plan was to cast a yellow-red Daredevil spoon off of the Lake Hamlin sand dunes - I imagined catching that Northern Pike.  I planned for it, willed it, hiked there, had the stuff, and even the weather to make it happen. Yes, I was attempting to "bend" reality according to my will.  To my dismay, the area had too many boats and my secondary fishing site had two people wading in the bay!  My imagined reality wasn't going to happen.

I prayed a short prayer of thankfulness and remembered that God's will wasn't my will  Obviously, He has a different and righter plan than I could imagine.  So, I walked back to the parking lot with maybe five casts - silver, #3 Mepps spinner, no buck tail - along the way.  I sat down on a bench and closed my eyes for a few minutes.  The scene was comfortable, peaceful, and the sounds of the kids playing at the beach were joyful.  I gathered myself, picked up my rod, and sauntered along the shoreline to the dam.  There was an old man fishing below the dam who shared that he had no luck.  He wished me the best and on my third cast I caught the Pike I had hoped for - it was a joyful experience.

I do wear a big shoe...

There were always reasons for doing what I've done in my life.  I've made a series of reasonable choices, within the confines of my environment(s) and capabilities, to end up here.  Good situations sometimes resulted in increasing pride and smugness that led to downfalls while trials often resulted in a better, more capable, and thankful, me.  Yes, I'm thankful for all my life thus far.

God made us with a will to work out our life while He intervenes through His sovereign will as He wishes.  We can ignore Him and reap the consequences of a self-willed life, trying to bend reality, or trust Him and experience increasing heart-felt joy and peace.  How could our will ever come close to the will of God for our lives?

The only church in town would share God's revealed truth for both eternity and this life too.  They'd share scripture like 1 Corinthians 15 so that people might hear and believe in God's provision for us, His creatures.  What an awesome wonder to be able to humbly and rightly walk with God in Christ. 

Just for today...

"At that moment of smug self-righteousness, God decided to send me a spiritual awakening. He told me that perhaps they understood more about Him than I did.  After all, they were the ones who were happy and free, filled with peace. Perhaps I could learn something from them if I opened my mind enough to listen and opened my heart enough to risk getting involved..."  Hope for Today (p. 206)

"Plan tomorrow; Live today - Think eternity; Honestly be."   Am I a Poet?

July 23rd - Bending reality according to my will?

The story...

There are reasons for why I did the things that I did.  Reasons for the good and reasons for the not so good.  Sometimes I ignored information and put on rose-colored glasses to gloss over the truths that would prevent me from working out my will.

Ambervision glasses were good - the world looked better

I learned to be more honest with me and my situation; understanding more fully, albeit incompletely, the way God views my condition and life.  With this in mind, why do I continue to have resentments, for what other people did, crop up into my mind?  I know that the self-absorbed thoughts aren't good for me, or anybody else; yet, they seem to reside somewhere, dormant, in the back of my mind.  Do I keep them to reduce the risk of a reoccurrence?

People within the only church in town will need healthy boundaries to work out their faith and life amongst the wide range of people who're likely working out their phase of life the best they can.  Maybe life is actually better without attempting to bend reality.  Honest humility seems likely to gain trust in God and maybe a few close friends too.  Truly, rest and peace can be found walking humbly trusting God.

Just for today...

"I am no longer a victim, full of self-pity and bent on control of every aspect of my life." Courage to Change (p. 205)

"Resentments mark the place where I see myself as a victim . . . Feeling resentments was like drinking poison and hoping that the other person would die! . . .  What do I get out of feeling like a victim? . . . I felt protected by my resentments. They acted as a barbed-wire fence to keep away the people I felt had hurt me.  The problem was I kept pricking my own skin on the barbs.  I also was comfortable with my resentments."  Hope for Today (p. 205)

"Hurtin others; Leaks a soul - Eyes off me; Fills our bowl."   Am I a Poet?

July 20th - Live in an imaginary reality?

The story...

Males in my mother's and father's families were all balding except for one.  My receding hairline and "spot" were visible in my wedding pictures.  I knew it was happening yet it crept up slowly.  Then, there was the day that my friend who cut my hair, Penny, reached for the electric cutter rather than the scissors.  She admitted that trimmers would do just as good as scissors.  Did we have to give up our regular meetings and friendship?  The day that I finally accepted that I was bald and began cutting my own hair was a good one.  I let loose of the old and accepted the reality of the new.  Actually, there're advantages living in the reality of being a bald guy.  I could list a few, that you might not be aware of, but that's not what this story's about.

Living within the reality of our actual: environment, mental state, physical condition, and spiritual experience is the best place to be - peace, well being, and joy can be found there.  Living in an imaginary place, within any of these dimensions, is like living in a house of cards.  Maybe hyped-up emotions are an indicator or sign that you might be living outside reality.  Might those over reactions, and need to do exciting stuff with amped-up emotions, indicate a life lived in the uncomfortable state of an imagined reality?   Are our emotions like gauges that might give us clues as to "What's going on?"

"What's going on?"  4 Non-Blondes

The only church in town would be a place where you can find out what's going on.  People who reach out in love may ask you.  And, most importantly, you can hear and better understand what God has revealed about what's really going on.

Just for today...

"By clutching at what we most want to keep, we lose it all the more rapidly . . . By letting go of our efforts to influence the future, we become freer to experience the present, to feel all of our feelings while they are happening, and to more full enjoy those precious moments of joy with which we are blessed."  Courage to Change (p. 202)

"Squinting skews; Headphone fetter - Imagining's good; Reality's better."   Am I a Poet?

July 15th - Honest or Complacent?

The story...

Most friends would characterize me as being an honest person; however, I've worked out my "honesty" differently throughout my life.  We all know that you don't share a poor opinion regarding the beauty of a mother's new baby.  When your spouse comes home with a radically different haircut, you don't question the decision or openly say it looks bad.  On a bigger scale, what do you say when the king's not wearing pants yet the whole community pretends to ignore the obvious truth?

Hans Christian Andersen, 1837

The opinions we form, value and defend might be part of this dilemma.  You may think we need to think like the group to remain accepted or valued - that might be part of the problem.  The continual quest to be and think like the "best" might be part of the problem.  Working out our life as a sort of "random walk" might be part of the problem.  Staying complacent and sticking with, and self-justifying, our current way of behaving is likely part of the problem.

Maybe the problem solution includes a stable code of values, principles, or core tenets regarding how we live our life.  Yet, even if the code we live by is sound, how do we relate with others whose code is different, changing, or directly opposed to ours?  I expect that the answer will likely include demonstrating and expressing dignity and respect toward all humans no matter where they currently are within their life journey.  We'll all likely grow together as we express love towards each other, let our guards down some, and begin to better understand each other within closer relationships.

The only church in town will focus on the truth of God's revealed Word.  The truth includes grace in Christ for both me and you too - grace that we may extend to each other.  Honesty is an important part of every relationship.  Are you rightly related to God through Christ?

Just for today...

"Complacency simply means being sure we're right, taking it for granted that our view couldn't possibly be wrong. It means judging others by what we think is right. It blocks out understanding and kindness, and justifies qualities in ourselves that we wouldn't find tolerable in other people."  One Day at a Time (p. 197)

"Okay I am, Rather lame? - Should I grow?; Remain the same?"
"Christ in me; This is true - He does good; We're brand new."    Am I a Poet?

July 7th - Unwanted Opinions Rust

The story...

A good friend recently hurt a joint while performing a new activity where they'd found fun, new friends, and success too - the good-life fit they were looking for.  So, they're ignoring the pain and wanting to believe an alternate reality that allows them to continue on this new path towards happiness.  They know the right thing to do; yet, they don't want to accept it.   Advice to take a pause, or even see a doctor, may be viewed as unwanted criticism.

I actually did treat them like a neighbor and listened with the intent of understanding where they were at.  Yes, I used reflective listening and empathized with their situation.  They did reach, what seems like, a good conclusion and our relationship seemed to be bolstered too.

It's been a great joy to care for other people without even offering a hint of opinion related to how they might best work out their lives.  This seems to be an ingredient for better understanding and actual personal growth together.

Yes, the only church in town will be a place where your neighbors congregate.  More loving relationships with self, neighbors and our God in Christ.

Trader Joes - where neighbors meet up?

Just for today...

"Obsessively reviewing everyone's behavior focuses my attention where it doesn't belong . . . I can consider the part I played . . . Instead of wringing my hands and pointing my finger, I can consider the possibility that everything is happening exactly as it should."  Courage to Change (p. 189)

"To withdraw from an argument may not make you the winner, but what you have saved is your own dignity and grace."  One Day at a Time (p.189)

"Let'em be; As they are - Grow together; Journey far."   Am I a Poet?

June 23rd - Being Honest with Me

The story...

Much of my life was spent trying to change me in ways that'd: satisfy my ego; protect me from harm; experience love; feed my economic engine; provide me with comfortable stuff; get along with others; or to scratch that "itch."  Maybe I could've worked out that plan without the power of God if circumstances and random variables would've gone my way?  

I remember hearing that my sin separated me from a relationship with the Creator of all things - I was 7 or 8 years old and I was listening to a loving-old woman tell me this "truth," using a flannelgraph, at a neighbors house.  She asked if anybody wanted to come up front and receive God's gift of forgiveness and restoration.  I must have recognized the "iniquity" in my life - my heart and mind wanting good yet behaving differently.  I was the sole hearer to come up to the front to make a profession of faith.  It may've been a divine appointment.  What actually happened there is both mysterious and wonderful - the trajectory of my life changed.

The flannelgraph told "The" story in a more colorful way

I experienced the fleeting pleasures of sin yet attempted to serve even as an "Acolyte" lighting candles in church.  At 15, I made a promise to God that I'd serve him if he saved me from a predicament.  At 21, I felt brokenness and earnestly read the four Gospels during the summer of 1980.  I was surprised to hear who Jesus the Christ was.  I ask my Mom: "Why didn't anyone tell me this before?"  My mom replied something like: "Oh you heard all those stories in church and Sunday school..."  God took the reins of my life thereafter and seemed to have orchestrated my life as though I was living out a role in some sort of play - I did my part and things seemed to work their way out.

My personal book of life records: hope, faith, drifting, achievement, disappointment, joy, success, failure, love, hurt, friendships, and an increasingly closer walk/relationship with my Creator.  I've experienced much through the grace of God - I'm so thankful for all of my life experiences.  He drew me closer and closer to Him and my capacity to love God, myself, and others has grown too.  I stand thankful for my faith in God - right with Him in Christ - the Bible told me so. 

Just for today...

"The courage to be honest with ourselves is one quality we can cultivate to help our spiritual growth."  Courage to Change (p. 175)

Stewart, J. S. (1935). A man in Christ: The vital elements of St. Paul’s religion. 

"We're all different; Want the same - Wanna please; Know our name."
"Give up trying; Right with Him - Quietly fruitful;  Freed from sin."    Am I a Poet?

May 25th - Honestly?

The story...

Most would say I'm an honest person by nature - a guy who sometimes would be better off keeping his honest ideas to himself.  My family seemed to value integrity and honesty; yet, I think that we may've been more true to the ideal rather than reality - "put your best foot forward."  I remember my mother saying as she got ready to go to town.  She'd suck in her gut to look her very best into the mirror.  I'd say: "You know that you don't really look like that when you walk out the door"  and she'd say something like: "It doesn't hurt to think your best before...."

What if you don't fit in with the group?  Should you modify your manner, interests, and behaviors to fit in?   What if those in the group frequently respond with fake laughs to most things that're said - do you go along with it to demonstrate unity and likeability?  Do you do what the group does because you want to remain as part of the group?  When this type of behavior occurs, the group can believe that everybody thinks the same way they do - the False Consensus Effect.  They might reject you for thinking and behaving differently and classify you as being defective in some way.  Oh... the evils of "group think."

So, I've learned to keep opinions to myself or to have no opinion at all - let 'em be and show respect for them as they are.  That doesn't mean I have to engage in their common behavior - I've the right to respectfully say no without a need to justify my position.  I can be me and let 'em be too.  They're different from me, their story's different from mine, and they're in a different stage of life than I am.

Honest Abe

I hope that the only church in town would be a place where people are safe to be honest within the reality of their relationship with God.   The motives are plentiful for wanting to make false claims about this most valued relationship.  Oh to know God and allow Him to shine light on the reality of your faith in Him - let Him have His way as you abide in Christ.  Please don't try to be somebody you aren't.  

Just for today...

"Today it is important for me to be in an environment in which honesty is practiced.  I don't necessarily launch into a detailed description of my woes or my joys - that isn't always desirable or appropriate - but when asked how I'm doing , I try to ask myself what the real answer is."  Courage to Change (p. 146)

"To make good choices, I must develop a mature and prudent understanding of myself that will reveal to me my real motives and intentions."  Thomas Merton: No Man is an Island

"Who are you; Who, who . . . who who - I really wanna know; Tell me who are you." 🎵
"Learning me; Every day - I'm okay; I truly say."    Am I a Poet?

May 17th - Be Yourself - Alive Today

The story...

About sixty guys lived on my dorm floor.  There were about sixty girls who lived on each girl's floor too.  There was a type of guy who was noticed and included in the groups that I wanted to be a part of.  So, I wore similar clothes, went to the right places, performed the same rituals, and suffered along the way.

One term, my roommate and I decided to "buck the system" - rebel.  We wore t-shirts, bibs, and tennis shoes without socks.  We piled our dirty clothes on the couch yet friends still crowded in our room to hang out.  Although we were being rebels of a sort, new social norms were being established - others started to behave like us.  I'm glad we cleaned up the next term.  It was fun but it was no place to stay.

Living vicariously means living life through another person.  It seems like most people do it yet it often leads to stress and unhappiness.  Put on a mask, play a role, try to fit it, be part of the group, please people, and possibly idolize the leader.  A better way is to be yourself already.  Live in the present with an honest appreciation of you.  Why not appreciate the joys of being alive today as we truly are?

George idolizes Tony

The people in the only church in town would work out their own faith together.  The group relationships will be important towards their growth, yet their most important relationship will be between them and God.  Their wise pastor would recognize the pitfalls of being idolized - the group living vicariously through his life of faith.  He would, succinctly and directly, point them back to their true Savior lest he begin to enjoy being treated as a type of little god or even a sort of doted pet.

Just for today...

"While growing up I had used denial to block myself from feeling pain, which also blocked me from experiencing pleasure."  Hope for Today (p. 138)

"... if I concentrate on being right here, right now, I know that I am fine . . . Let me make today the most fully alive day I have ever experienced." Courage to Change (p. 138)

"You seem good; I can see - Mimic you; Lose me."    Am I a Poet?

May 5th - Limitations

The story...

If I'm honest with reality and the limited control that I have; then, I may experience humility.  The need to work out life best, in a humble way, reminds me of a quote from the Dirty Harry movie Magnum Force: "a man's got to know his limitations."

Does being humble include being honest with our limitations and bowing our hearts and minds in awe of our Creator and God?  Yes, a humble and honest life walk sits well with me.

I hope that the people of the only church in town don't build their faith based on the quality of their leader - often the pastor.  The pastor's under the curse, the law of sin and death, just like you.  Yet, all who attend the only church in town would hear him preach the good news.  "That Than Which There is No Greater" offers our all-powerful redeemer - His only begotten Son.  I'm glad that He's my redeemer and that I don't have to rely on me or the possibility of a helpful and capable guy like "Dirty Harry."

Just for today...

"I begin  to learn humility when I take the first step.  By admitting I am powerless, I make room for the possibility that a Power greater than myself can do all those things that are beyond my reach."  Courage to Change (p. 126)

"Young men aim; High and lofty - Keep on trying; Not a softy."
"Life is harsh; Some pretend - I've got this;  Never'll end."
"Storms speak harshly; Pretend anew - Gather likeminded; Why so blue?"
"Trust not try; Faith's the way - He finds peace; We're okay."     Am I a Poet?

April 1st - The Critic

The story...

What's true about that acute or overt criticism that I receive?  A wise person told me that criticism often has an element of truth in it - the wise man values criticism for what he might discover.  The "feedback" may be a truth, or perception, that we're blind to, ignored, or minimized.  Honest introspection can discover fine pearls.  The pearl may be hidden and require you to pry open the shell, take it out, assess the value, and then decide what to do with it.

It's likely harder for a person, who stores deep-felt emotions such as shame and guilt, to truly listen.  It's easier to criticize the message sender and discredit the message than humbly consider it's validity.  

I wish I'd never criticized a preacher - especially in front of my children.  Rather, I wish I'd have developed closer relationships with them so that we both might've grown together - even through infrequent constructive criticism.

I expect the only church in town would have  a preacher and leaders who model wise behavior.  For me, being open to receiving criticism is part of continual growth in both me and my relationships too - fine pearls. 

Just for today...

"The contented, well adjusted person has no need to look for flaws in others . . . criticism has the effect of pushing love right out of the picture. This in turn, leads us to feeling sorry for ourselves because people do not respond to us as we would like them to."  One Day at a Time (p. 92)

"Dig here; Map speaks - Crusty rock; Hidden gem."   Am I a Poet?

February 19th - But he doesn't know the territory

The story...

PBS television shows, shot in olde England as the backdrop, are compelling for me.  The language, vernacular, customs, figures of speech, and steering wheel side are different; yet, similar to what I'm used to.  It'd be comfortable there but I expect I'd be attentive and curious about the differences.  It'd be great to to tour London and even slog through those really-old hiking trails west of London for a week or so.  I'm told those old trails pass through castles, Roman ruins, and farmer's fields too.  I'm learning about the territory yet it's not reasonable to claim to know the territory.  Even if I complete a trip, I won't know the territory as well as someone who actually lives their life there.  The idea reminds me of a song from the 1962 film "The Music Man" that was set in River City, Iowa - "but he doesn't know the territory."  

The Music Man - 1962

Professor Harold Hill is the lead character who sells the small town on the idea of the "think" system for playing musical instruments. He's a flim-flam man that bilks the town out of money for new band instruments and uniforms - he had no ability to teach them to play music.  He teaches them to hum the "Minuet in G" as part of a thinking process that will supposedly lead them to play their shiny instruments without instruction.  In reality, he's stalling until he receives the money and jumps on the train out of town.  The librarian is the only person in town who actually understands music.  She's torn between the reality of the flim-flam man and the wonderful imagined reality that the town's bought into - they're happier and more hopeful following the charlatan.  She also falls in love with both the vision and the man too - to err is human.

How will the only church in town escape the trap of trusting in the charismatic pastor rather than their God?  Who would want to remain in a "imaginary" condition living the same-old life?  The Word of God speaks of the reality of being in Christ - the relationship that actually bears God-given fruit.  Once heard, believed, and experienced; they'll be tapped into the vine that produces the kind of fruit that the whole community will be blessed through.  Why would a man trust a charismatic man rather than his all-powerful Creator?

Just for today...

"None of us sees the world as it is but as we are, as our frame of reference, or maps, define the territory."  Stephen Covey

"The only way to release ourselves from the hold of those dark demons is to break the isolation and bring them into the light by sharing with others who understand."  Hope for Today (p. 50)

"Follow him; His shoes shine - Wanna follow Him; Self blocks Way."   Am I a Poet?

February 14th - Mask wearing

 The story...

Once upon a time, I was assigned the responsibility to lead a group of about twelve high-school teenagers.  I facilitated an open first session to find out what topics were most important to them - they didn't know.  I walked out of the room discouraged.  Then, I bumped into a college professor - I eventually described my class topic dilemma to him.  He suggested we focus on the book TrueFaced (1995) that he previously used with similar, yet older, group.  The book's main idea was that people often walk through life acting out different roles to cover up their true selves - it's like they have a mask at hand for each occasion.  I did use the material with the class and I remember that the ideas "resonated" well.  My favorite quote is: "I prefer that you be who I want you to be rather than who you are, if it's all the same to you." (TrueFaced, p. 32).

The book TrueFaced Experience Guide (pp. 33,34) listed six masking behaviors that you may relate to:

• I become highly sensitized to my own sin and judge the sin of others.
• I lose my objectivity in a crisis and I become the issue.
• I hide my sinful behavior and become more vulnerable to sin.
• I am unable to be loved or to love.
• I become susceptible to wrong life choices.
• I attempt to control others.

Group think and the desire to please others can lead us into acting out a part wearing our own mask(s). After we act out a role long enough, might we forget who we are and where we're going?

The only church in town has a loving graceful message.  It'll be safe enough for truth tellers.  Within a loving environment like that, you may be accepted as you are.   Freedom is a wonderful thing.

Just for today...

"'Just trust me?' is the last thing you want to hear when you have already carefully concluded that no one can be trusted ... except yourself."  TrueFaced Experience Guide (p. 44) 

"We look very impressive - we have learned to package our techniques well - but our self-effort keeps us self-centered and immature . . . Because we are constantly pursuing power and authority, and manipulating to gain control, God can never release us into our future . . . Our relational sadness, our inability to be loved, our festering wounds and broken relationships freeze us in immaturity."  TrueFaced Experience Guide (p. 145)

"Thoughts and heart; Wanna act well - Self drives me, Along iniquity's path."  Am I a Poet

February 13th - But we don't have to go anymore...

The story...

I moved to Duluth, MN, for one year, on a teaching assignment - yes, I've been a teacher.  UMD welcomed me; the students asked me to join them in the stuff that students like to do; the church pulled me into their family; and I lived in a small apartment.  One morning, the apartment manager asked me where I was going on the past Sunday morning.  I told her that I was walking to church.  She said: "I thought so, I saw you were carrying a bible."  She was perplexed and a bit frustrated - "You're a professor, you don't have family here, and you're free to do whatever you want.  Why would you go to church?  We used to have to do that here; but, not anymore - I'm free to do whatever I want."  I shared how it felt to be pulled into a welcoming church family who invited me into their homes and families.  I even played "broom ball" and fished with some of them - "I feel loved there."  She says: "huh, I might try church again." 

I don't think that the only church in town would spend much time reminiscing about the "good old days" when everybody was expected to go to church and try to behave morally right.  Teach me against my will and I'll be of the same opinion still - and likely continue to behave in ways that are more true to who I truly am deep down inside.  

 

Where the story played

Just for today...

"I tried to get God to listen to me through my prayers.  He did, once I stopped telling Him what to do."  Hope for Today (p.44)

"I didn't like myself because I wasn't living up to what I believed to be true about others."  Courage to Change (p. 44)

""Get yer own way, Stuck with you - Love together, Powerfully two."  Am I a Poet?

January 21st - Who's your daddy?

The story...

Thankfully, my back surgeon recommended Celebrex, epidural steroid injections and therapy, rather than surgery.  I hoped to return my body to a more normal "I can go an do what I want to" state.   The Celebrex worked as expected, the injection process was relatively easy with questionable benefits, and the therapy was a real surprise.

"What physical therapist would you recommend in my home town?"  They didn't have a recommendation - they gave me a prescription for either four or six weeks and said we'll meet again in four months.  I took a look at the therapy room in the Aquatic Center, where I'd been swimming for about two months, and scheduled an appointment with the only therapist there.  

After meeting with the young-woman therapist for two weeks, my interactions and results surpassed my expectations.  I didn't choose her, I chose the location and facility.  I trusted her and did, pretty much, everything she told me to do.  "We" worked on limitations that affected me throughout most of my life.  I was so optimistic - "Yahoo!"

If I were to have selected a therapist from a candidate lineup, I likely wouldn't have selected her.  I might've looked at age, sex, height, personality, education, experience...   I'm so thankful that I came in with a need, was honest in every interaction, sought to understand before being understood, listened to her diagnosis rather than my own related thoughts, and trusted her.  Yes, I didn't want to be naive; so I tested her a couple of times and each time her response confirmed that she was capable and had my best interest at heart.  She's a human with limited understanding but I relied on her to get better.  She sought to understand me better and set expectations of a sustainable solution that might work with my habits, preferences, life style, and hopes for the future.

Whose your daddy?

I especially liked her direct style of communication and therapy interventions during our 1/2 hour appointments.  She appeared to be committed to helping me regardless of my responses and peculiarities.  I'm so... thankful for her.  Maybe, when I grow up, I can be more like her? 😊

The only church in town's object of faith will be their Messiah, their Lord and Savior Jesus the Christ whose great sacrificial work provides the way to a righteous relationship with God our Creator and Redeemer.  There's a lot packed into that sentence.  Why not go to the only church in town and learn more about what's really going on within the rest of your life and eternity too?

Just for today...

"It is only by taking offense at what others do that I will be afflicted with resentment. If I feel that what I am doing is right, I will not be dependent on the admiration or applause of others."  One Day at a Time (p. 21)

"I could never tell the difference between what was and was not my business. I felt I had to take care of everyone around me until I couldn't stand it any more."  Courage to Change (p. 21)