August 15th - Can you understand your psyche with your mind?

The story...

Last night, I experienced death in a dream - I don't remember this occurring before. The scenario, I'm riding on my cruiser motorcycle and enter into a tunnel entrance ramp onto I80.  I take a lane that ends up to be a dirt path with construction all around.  There is no way back to the lane of vehicles that are speeding along their way.  I stop due to a big ditch in front of me where other motorcycle riders are attempting to climb out to get back onto I80.  I switch lanes to the left, looking for an easier path, and notice a huge tunnel-digging machine emerging from a tunnel, under construction, behind me.  I pause and it runs over me - I feel nothing.  My mind looked for the feelings of death pains and wondered if I was dead.  It took a few seconds to remember that this was a dream and not reality. "Yes, I 'm still dreaming."  I woke up in a sort of curious state - did that vivid, participatory, dream mean something?  Do I have a latent fear that's operating behind the scene within my psyche?

Seignac, Guillaume - Cupid and Psyche

Who can understand a man's mind, soul and spirit?  God says that a man doesn't even understand his own heart.  Should I try to understand my own psyche with my own mind?  Is that even reasonable?

It's a good thing to trust God's word and bear fruit in peace.  Yes, God's word does offer the way towards peace, in the present, within the varying circumstances of life.  Praise God for how He loves His creatures.

The only church in town will preach God's revealed Word.  The people will hear about who He is, what He plans for us His creatures, and how to live a good-to-great life within His will.  God asks that we trust His Word and His provision for us, His Creatures, in Christ.

Just for today...

"Fear is the energy that activates my character defects. Sometimes my shortcomings lie dormant like a bumper car ride with the electricity turned off, and I don't even notice them."  Hope for Today (p. 228)

"How important is it? . . . I find what I might  have viewed as a disaster is really insignificant . . . I can take my disappointment or irritation at face value and refuse to dramatize it."  Courage to Change (p. 228)

"Many of our frustrations come from not making the most of ourselves and getting out of life what it has to give, ready and waiting for us to accept."  One Day at a Time (p. 228)

June 27th - What might you teach you?

The story...

I'm thankful that I wrote some of my thoughts as I journeyed through life.  I'm often surprised at the clarity of my questions, the degree of focus, and how the conclusions of the moment are helpful to me at a later part of life.  I especially appreciate the sketches - they remind me of the stuff that seems to need more than words and story to remember the more-whole picture.

The following picture is a sketch that I made about a vivid  dream, about ten years ago, where I seemed to be fully interacting.  I woke up with the type of memory, consternation, and feelings that sometimes come from events that we experience in reality.

"The dream was so... real..."

My video recordings of my lectures were often difficult for me to review or improve.  When I developed a new course, I: studied multiple textbooks; reviewed seminal and current journal articles related to the body of knowledge; searched for current events; and reflected on how the knowledge was worked out within my own work life.  Therefore, the lectures seemed richer and more integrated than I might create at a later, less prepared, point in time.  I was often humbled by what a younger version of me could teach me about the subject.  This being true, I ignored the stammers, the awkward pauses, and the misspoken words that'd be sprinkled in.  The imperfections were actually part of the richness of the reality of life - the stuff that makes life more real and comfortable.

The people congregating within the only church in town will become comfortable together.  They'd have opportunities to honestly reflect on the reality of their lives together. These shared experiences, thoughts, prayers, and daily happenings would be perceived increasingly inline within the will of God.  They'd see the Spirit of Christ worked out through real people whose hearts are partially revealed to them.

Just for today...

"... if I listen to my words, I find that I usually tell those whom I sponsor exactly what I myself need to hear."  Courage to Change (p. 179)

May 23rd - I still haven't found what I'm looking for - I'm still running...

The story...

U2's song, "I still haven't found what I'm looking for" resonates with me and many others too.  I've traveled far, grown much, enjoy a life of prayer, seen fruit born even through me, but I still haven't found what I'm looking for.  My inner-man desires something better.  A place that fits better, more fulfilling, "righter..."  I've seen glimpses within creation and through love demonstrated among people.  Yet, it's just not quite right...

Sistine Chapel - Not home yet

The only church in town would communicate, learn, share and work out what God has revealed about Him, us, and our future too.  No, I ain't home yet.

Just for today...

"I must go past all the tempting self-justification, the 'reasons' that lack the shine of truth.  I tell myself that self-deception can only damage me in giving me a foggy, unreal picture of the person I really am."  One Day a Time (p. 146)

March 9th - Did I run a good race?

The story...

It's the 22nd mile of the October 17th, 1999, Detroit Marathon.  A man, dressed in black and red, stood outside a bar with a table of clear cups that seemed to contain beer and wine.  He offered all runners the opportunity to quit the struggle and rest - "take it easy."  The guy who I was running with stopped and left me. I'm nut sure if it was at that moment, that he left, but I do remember the deep sense of discouragement and loss I felt when he left me on my own.  We were sharing a common goal, a pact of sorts, that we committed to along our journey.  My family cheered for me before Belle Isle and I expected them at the finish line - I longed for the finish.  

The last game played in Tiger Stadium was September 27th, 1999.  The race finished with a lap around the bags and a final step on home plate. I heard my family, all Tiger fans, yelling for me as I stepped on the first bag - I was overwhelmed with emotion.  The final step onto home plate was straight-out wonderful.  I just barely qualified for the Boston Marathon and ran that great race in the spring of 2000.

Wow ... did that really happen?

This race story reminds me of that final scene in the movie Saving Private Ryan.  Ryan says to his wife: "'Tell me I've lived a good life.' and 'Tell me I'm a good man.'"  I believe my finish time at Boston was precise to the second.  What's the measure of a good life?  Everybody's life is clearly different. Scripture says that our Creator has a will that's partially worked out through his creatures.  His creatures certainly are free-willed and seem to all have a difficult time truly loving God, their neighbors, and even themselves.

The only church in town would proclaim and teach the revealed Words of God.  The wonderful and mystical reality of our lives being safe within Christ, and Christ in us - it'd be worked out there together.

Just for today...

"Today I will remember that uncertainty is not a fault but an opportunity. Everything I do and everything that crosses my path - people, situations, ideas - all have the potential to contribute to my growth and understanding."  Courage to Change (p. 69)

March 7th - Imagined reality

The story...

Have you ever imagined something and then built it?  You weren't too sure about how it'd work out in "actuality" yet you got started.  You laid the pieces out on the table.  You arranged, substituted, tried again, until it seemed just right.  While looking at your work you might have felt a deep-internal satisfaction.  The symmetry, the colors, the flaw, the shadows, the order . . . you liked looking at it. What's the cause of this deep-felt satisfaction?  I'm sensing those feelings now.

I made this isosceles triangle yesterday. The story isn't found in what it's for.  It's more about the idea of working an imagined idea into reality, pondering it, and enjoying it.  Actually taking the time to pause, observe, and see in solitude.  Scripture says that God created - He knew who we would be.  He enjoys His creation and creatures.  I wonder if God feels something like I feel, albeit infinitely greater and different, as He observes us?  Is this another way we're made in the image of God?

How does this apply to the only church in town?  Most churches design a building to fit the group's expected needs and hopes.  Those that helped create it have a special affinity for it.  Thirty years from now the people will be different, the building a bit more decayed, and patches will give it a different look.  

The Apostle Paul refers to the "Body of Christ" as a called-out group of people.  Grasping this most wonderful idea requires our imagination as we read about it.  Through faith, you just might sense the beginnings of this wonderful, yet mystical, union of people in reality - introspection and contemplation required. 

Just for today...

"I don't have to look back at past ugliness except to learn from it, to enhance the present, and to release whatever beauty is trapped behind old secrets and self-defeating attitudes." Courage to Change (p. 67)

"I permitted Myself to be sought by those who did not ask for Me; I permitted Myself to be found by those who did not seek Me. I said, ‘Here am I, here am I,’ To a nation which did not call on My name."  Isaiah 65:1 (NASB)

"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."  Romans 15:13 (NASB)

February 9th - Live for Today

 The story...

The speaker offered me a new way of looking at a good life: LIVE for today; PLAN for tomorrow; and THINK on eternity.  This frame-of-mind seemed to be true, with "face value," and the kind of motto that a wise guy might apply. So, I pondered the motto, shared the value of thinking this way with hundreds of people, yet didn't really internalize it.  Why?  Maybe I didn't spend most of my time living in the present and my thoughts tended to camp out more in the past or future?

How would this motto work out best in the only church in town? What would we witness if we peeked into the church windows or tailed those church people around town?   It's likely that their behavior would exhibit strengths, weaknesses, character flaws and occasionally fruit that they seem to be gifted with. They would be doers who uniquely work out what they know to be true about themselves and God in the present.  Together they would be better equipped to move forward down a good and right path within God's will.  Success, despite their flaws, would bring glory to their God whom they serve.

In my past, I liked sharing the idea of this good way to live while letting my "self" reign over my life.  In my present, I increasingly make doable plans for the near future and trust God with the results.  If we ignore what we do know about "That Than Which There is No Greater" then it seems we also have an unstated plan for traveling down a well worn path that leads us to where we don't want to go. 

Just for today...

"The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak."  This quote and the following painting are from an abstract impressionist painter Hans Hofmann.   Thank you Hans.

December 21st - Being kind and honest with you

The story...

Three nights ago I dreamed that I purchased a new cell phone that was too small.  Two nights ago, I dreamed that I was trying to do a bicep curl, with 25lbs, while sitting in a lazy-boy chair, and wasn't able to lift it up beyond 90 degrees.  I was surprised to see a bundle of really-large blood vessels, protruding from my arm, had snagged something on the floor.  Last night I had multiple dreams of adventure that included my college-aged siblings and a new job in an old building where I'd discovered a new tea that I'd mixed up in a blue Rubbermaid container. 

In my waking hours I'm concerned about changes in the lumbar region of my lower spine - they're affecting my life and the medical system's ability to restore me to my previous physical capability is questionable.  Whatever course my spinal changes lead me, I hope that I remain peacefully grounded in the reality of my situation and that I don't need to look to my subconscious mind to discover what's really going on.  Yes, I will to be honest and humble with my condition as I walk the next part of my life journey.  I've heard we are humblest when we live most closely to the truth.

Is being honest and accepting of my current reality part of being kind to me?  A position of strength and peace where I can see, understand, accept, and continue my journey down the right path to the Celestial City?  Yes, that was a reference to John Bunyan's allegory - Pilgrim's Progress.

Some really good books... I'll have more time and life-space to read.

The only church in town will tend to be an honest, kind, and loving kind of place. People's most important needs will be met as relationships are worked out rightly - first with God and then with each other.  The church will be big enough that people will have opportunities to walk on the path with friends they can relate to, and grow with, in an honest and kind sort of way.

 

Just for today...

"Somewhere in my past I got the message that to think of myself first was wrong, that it was my duty to care for everyone else. As a consequence, I was never ready to take care of myself and so became a burden to those around me . . . In fact, improving myself is the only real action available to me . . . Why should others bother to follow my example if I can't take care of my own affairs? . . . To give advice to others is to intrude; to give advice to myself is to grow."   Courage to Change (p. 356)

November 14th - My survival skills

The story...

Most of us developed survival skills to make it through K-12 - our elementary, junior, and high school years. High school was when I was expected to learn and experience what I needed to be a full-functioning member of society.  The graduation speech said that we had limitless potential within the United States of America.  What did I do over those 13 years?

• Learned to obey the teacher, complete assignments, and value good grades.
• Progressed through boy scouts to the rank of "Life Scout."
• Fulfilled the job requirements of a paper delivery boy for 4 yrs. - wasn't motivated to sell new subscriptions but faithfully delivered the papers and collected the money.
• Built a large wooden tool box, smashed my thumb with a hammer, sewed my own reversible vest, and cooked potato soup.in junior-high shop class.  They required the boys to take home-economics for two months during 8th grade.
• Completed drivers education and was awarded my drivers license.
• Fulfilled the requirements of a drug store general worker and delivery boy for 2 yrs.  Crashed their cars several times.
• Developed friends - mostly from band and work experiences.
• Completed all the math classless offered and survived the English classes.
• Fell in love multiple times yet didn't experience the boy-girl friend closeness that I hoped for.
  
  

My High School

Who was I at that graduation ceremony?

• Accepted Christ as my Savior at eight.
• Learned a work ethic and financial skills with the money I earned.
• Distanced myself from the church - worked every other Sunday.
• Became a story-teller to engage in group conversation.
• Looked for love where I thought it might be found - love was elusive.
• Interacted socially yet never really felt like I fit in.
• Accepted at a state college - to be an engineer.  There I expected to start over - to be somebody.
• Learned survival skills - boundaries, armor, and habits.

The only church in town is a place where you can learn the reality of being truly okay.  Okay with God, you, and your neighbors too.  I was so thankful, in 1980, when Steve and Marlene said to me:  "We would like you to go to church with us - please come."

Just for today...

"I was powerless over my childhood. The survival skills that I developed made my adult life unmanageable."  Hope for Today (p. 319)

"It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery."  Galatians 5:1 (NASB)

September 22nd - Pilgrim's Progress - The Great 1678 Christian Allegory

The story...

"If you're in a frustrating exchange with another person - drop the tug-of-war rope."  I remember hearing this from another person who was describing this "tool" as one she used on her journey to being more okay with herself - to the point of seeing herself as worthy of love and offering love to others too.  It seemed easy to do so I "tried it on" for a few days and was surprised at the good results.  I shared my exuberance with the "tool" application success at the next meeting - I was ready to try on more live-giving behaviors and ideas from those who had traveled a similar road before.  As I listened to and shared, our lives began to grow together - we seemed to be walking side-by-side as fellow sojourners towards the "Celestial City" - enjoying the trip too.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The Pilgrims Progress

The only church in town will allow those who might read Pilgrim's Progress to understand the allegory within the reality of God's revealed Word.  The church will offer fellow pilgrims God's revelation about Himself, faith, hope, peace, joy and sustenance for the most adventurous journey.

Just for today...

"It's a wonderful opportunity to practice giving unconditional love and support by simply listening.  Many of us hear stories that are similar to our own; others can often identify with the feelings that are expressed. Perhaps we will be reminded of where we have been and how far we have come."  Courage to Change (p. 266)

"Worrying about trifles saps my spiritual energy which I could certainly put to better use. Am I willing to waste my life in this way? . . . I will not be made uneasy by what others do, whether they intend to hurt me or not. I will not clutter up my thoughts with resentment; it would not profit me, worse it would hurt me."  One Day at a Time (p. 266)

"Sometimes I'm afraid I'll have to separate from my family members to maintain my quest for healthy living, especially when they deny and justify their unacceptable behavior . . . I am slowly learning that trying to change someone else's behavior to suit my needs is an exercise in futility and frustration. Truly profound power and peace lie in the ability to change my behavior to suit my needs . . . I can accept people as they are."  Hope for Today (p. 266)