June 11th - Valued Relationships

The story...

Relationships in college seemed easier for me.  We lived and ate in the same place, shared similar schedules and academic challenges, were about the same age, attended similar social events, drank beer together, and most of our lives had yet to be written.  I thought I was free to play and be whoever I wanted to be.

Marston Hall - The library was my favorite study place.

Many college students had enough of community living after about two years.  They wanted to be free of the forced relationship hassles and rules related to community living - they moved off campus. Personally, I didn't understand why people would want to clean a house, shovel sidewalks, buy and cook food, and work out the domestic life with just a few other people.   I liked to visit houses like that but I also enjoyed returning to the dorm community.

During my Junior year, I attended the going-away parties for friends who were graduating or just leaving Ames, IA.  Parties for guys seemed to be more optimistic than for girls - girl parties seemed more like a wake or funeral.  Maybe the girls were more in tune with their feelings or had closer relationships than guys did.  Anyway, I always planned an event that I could escape to rather than lingering at the "wakes."

Then it happened to me.  I had my own apartment in Knoxville, TN.  I had friends yet I felt isolation and loneliness.  Soon, a new friend invited me to connect with a parachurch.  I've been part of a church community ever since.  The purpose of the college community was to grow me, grow my understanding and transform me into a productive member of society - be somebody organizations needed.  The church community had aims of making me a better person rightly related to God and others too.

The only church in town would primarily preach and teach the gospel about how a man can be reconciled with God and have an ongoing relationship with Him.  They'd work out Truth into the reality of their life walk and community too.   The community life and person-to-person relationships would be good yet of secondary importance.

Just for today...

"I was unable to discuss my personal life with my mother.  Fearing her rejection, I rejected her instead . . . I realized that the opportunity to be close to her had always existed, but I hadn't been willing, until then, to take part in it."  Courage to Change (p. 163)

"Hurt people; Reacted feelings - Go away; Need you bad."   Am I a Poet?

April 30th - Preventive Maintenance

The story...

I heard that a part on my car was likely to fail and potentially leave me stranded.  So, one Saturday I went to AutoZone to buy the replacement part and install it, in my driveway, that afternoon.   I imagined a fulfilling experience while listening to the Detroit Tigers - the repair would go the way I planned.  I could do it by myself.

"If it ain't broke don't fix it"  I turned around and met a man who'd given me this unexpected advice while waiting in the AutoZone line.  He heard me explain to the guy at the counter what I wanted and why I wanted it.  "When you loosen bolts, free it with a hammer, and take the wiring clips apart you change the system, create new problems, the unexpected happens..."  I thanked him, and the guy at the counter too, and left without the part.  I don't know if the part eventually failed, if I truly avoided the repair cost, or if  other problems might've truly been averted.

I'm so thankful that this man intervened in my life - he could've remained silent.  In the parking lot, he also explained why he and his friends owned S10 pickups - they're a simple design, easy to understand, and easy to fix.  His friends worked together to solve their common problem - everybody needs a vehicle to get them from here to there.  He said that they got together most Saturdays to maintain their trucks and live life together too.

An S10

The group of guys, working on their S10s, was an "ecclesia."  Ecclesia is the Greek word for "a called out group of people."  The New Testament word, ecclesia, is translated as church in my Bible translation.  Does that mean that this guy and his friends were a church that met regularly and cared for each other?  How might the only church in town be better off if it were more like this group of S10 owners?  It sounds much better than working on my car alone - hoping that things go well and relying on me.

Just for today...

"When I put my experiences into words, they seem more real and  I am less likely to push them aside. As a result, I can often face problems when they are still only slight irritations and deal with them before they grow and take over."  Courage to Change (p. 121)

"On the rare occasions, I get a negative comment, I consider what I can learn and turn it over to God as something over which I have no control."  Hope for Today (p. 121)

"I can do it; Don't need you - When I fail; Pretend anew."   Am I a Poet?

April 22nd - Sophomore Year

The story...

I moved my stuff into a new dorm room for my Sophomore year of college.  My new room and roommate seemed better.  I greatly valued the dorm floor community - especially the upper classmen that I'd looked up to and learned from.  They left - I felt an ache and missed them.  Yet, there were the excitable new Freshman who were ready to be treated as "adults;" yet, not ready to behave that way.

I was walking to lunch and I noticed a friends new roommate's name on his door.  I thought it said his last name was "Lord" so I made a quick joke and we all laughed about it.  This new Freshman's nickname was "Lordy" thereafter.

Lordy was different from any person I'd known.  He was raised without the boundaries of any moral code I knew.  He did what he wanted.  His good looks, fun personality, lack of boundaries, and interest in almost everyone, led him into destructive "radical" patterns - his future seemed risky at best. 

For example, he'd read trade journals, that my dad gave me, rather than studying for tomorrow's exam - I didn't read the trade journals.  He rode home laying on the roof of a car, gazing at the stars - wanted to feel something new.  He experienced deep short-term relationships with the girls that most guys dreamed of just being noticed by.  He tried things that were illegal without concern of risk.  He seemed to be a shooting star that'd burn out too soon.  I'm told that he later became an evangelist - a preacher!

"That Than Which there is No Greater" is in control and His will will be worked out regardless of our opinions.  The story of Jonah and his call for the big city of Nineveh to turn from evil, so that God would relent from His planned destruction, is a great example.  Jonah didn't want God to save any from this enemy city - A city that would soon "sack" Israel in 701 BCE.  Yet, God directed Jonah to proclaim that He would save them and He did - He saved all of them.  Why wouldn't God do the same thing for Jonah's people in Israel?  God's ways are not our ways nor His thoughts our thoughts.

The only church in town would be God's called out group of people.  They'd listen to God's revealed Word, believe it, and trust Him.

Just for today...

Consider reading the book of Jonah.  And, following up with Matthew 12:38-41.  Whoa!

"... we neither love nor hate those in whom we have no interest . . . Love has a chance to flower in a shared life; hate is love twisted and warped by disillusionment and despair."  One Day at a Time (p. 113)

"We decide to place our will and our life in the hands of God.  We let go of burdens that were never ours to carry.  And we begin to treat ourselves more kindly and more realistically."  Courage to Change (p. 113)

"Kind here; Grace there - We're better; Me and we."   Am I a Poet?

February 11th - Wisdom

 The story...

About thirty years ago, I heard a definition of wisdom that rang true to me.  It's still the best definition that I've heard - I've passed it on hundreds of times.  Wisdom is knowing where to go and how to get there.  We might all benefit by pondering this definition for awhile.  We need both the first and second parts to help us distinguish between wise and unwise paths.

Isaiah 6 recount's Isaiah's experience within the throne room of God.  Meeting God would surely be a good place to start when envisioning where we're going - towards the one Who created us and spoke the Truth for evaluating the quality of our lives.  The Nicene Creed, written in 325AD, gives the church a good starting place for agreeing on how we get there.  Collectively, a church may behave wisely - a continual process for each individual and a synergetic process for the community within the power of the Spirit of God.  

I'm thankful to have a congregation of Barred owls whose family has lived with us in the woods for at least 30 years.  They do have good qualities and seem wise - I like them a lot and they seem friendly.

Barred Owl

Just for today...

"I needed love before I even knew what it was.  By loving others, I learn to treat myself well." Courage to Change (p. 42)

"Woke up expecting good,  yet suffered throughout - A better creature tonight, inside and out."  Am I a Poet?

January 27th - Our journey from third base to home plate.

The story...

I've often thought about my progression through life as if on a baseball diamond.  0-22 gets me to first base; 23-45 gets me to second base; 46-70 gets me to 3rd base; and 71-?? gets me home.  Much of my behavior seems to want to delay stepping on third base.  I'm working hard to improve my flexibility,  mobility, strength, mind, and activity to delay stepping on that bag - why?

Someone, who I loved, recently stepped onto home plate and they're gone now.  My memories remain; but, they're gone.  They'd even lost much of their memory before they stepped onto home plate.  What's there to look forward to on that straight path from 3rd to home plate?

I've been told that I should avoid lists within this blog; yet, I'm again compelled to list the most important parts of life that I look forward to during that final stretch.  Here're my top 12 in alphabetical order:

• Accepting love from care givers and offering love too.
• Enjoying the meal God's set before me rather than merely discussing or learning about it.
• Fellowshipping with God in Christ more continuously.
• Focusing my mind and heart on actualities rather than fiction.
• Interacting peacefully - forgiving and apologizing as needed.
• Investing in good living and God honoring initiatives.
• Loving the Lord my God with all my heart mind and soul and loving my neighbor as myself.
• Meeting the present reality with thankfulness.
• Moving my aching body where God and I will.
• Offering my hope, life lessons, and assets to others.
• Praising God.
• Remembering the faithfulness of God.

Let's keep the end in mind.

Just for today...

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith..."  2 Timothy 4:7 (NASB)

January 7th - Detaching from what others say - be

The story...

My mother didn't like the way my beard looked - for many years, I grew a beard during the fall and shaved it on my Mother's birthday in the spring.  Often when she saw my beard she'd almost automatically say something like: "You look like some kind of dummy with that on! . . . Why don't you shave that off? . . . You look so good without it, why in the world would you do something like that? . . .  Do you know what you look like?"  She may have delivered the same message in a more polite way like:  "If it's all the same with you, would you put on this "mask" so that you can be the person I imagine you to be?"

We all receive messages about us either directly or indirectly.  These messages can lead us to question or defend our imaginary self-image - the one we internalize and project to others.  In response, we may: deny the message and discredit the sender, seek out another who'll offer the praise that our "self" desires, sulk, fight, conform to the image that the "group" has of us, or we might pop our imaginary bubble and start over with a new self-image.

The only church in town will offer a new self image that's based on what, and who, God says we are and what we might be.  Surely, there will be some people who are acting out a "good" role and they might offer us a mask to "try" on so that we might conform to "their" image of what a Christian is.  I hope that we offer the mask givers grace yet trash the mask and act out our faith in reality - just the way we are. 

My mother passed away from this life in January 2024 and is now with her Savior and Lord. She loved and hoped the best for me - just the way I was.  I'm so thankful for the many ways she expressed her love to me throughout my first 65 years. I continue to praise God for her - I'm an orphan now but not on my own.

Just for today...

"I care enough about myself to take a quiet half hour to relax. But if a half hour is more than I can manage, I can let that be alright. Whatever time I give to myself will be a step forward. If I can stop the wheels from turning for even a few moments, God can take charge and steer me in the right direction."  Courage to Change (p. 7)

"Nothing can hurt me unless I allow it to. When I am pained by anything that happens outside of myself, it is not that thing which hurts me, but the way I think and feel about it . . . 'God teach me to detach my mind form what others say and do, except to draw helpful lessons and guidance from them.'"  One Day at a Time (p. 7)

November 22nd - Rightly related to God?

The story...

I prefer a day: waking up at a consistent time thankfully with prayer; planning for & doing good; being honest within reality; loving me & others; exercising my body & mind - strengthening each; saying yes more than no; meditating without thinking about the clock; dispatching potentially obsessive thinking within five minutes; tuning into my virtual spiritual radio - albeit the station's "staticy;" giving - being kind & receiving kindness; feeding my body & soul; seeking to understand before being understood; walking forward on my pilgrimage alongside close friends; and being the person God created and wills me to be.  Yet, my free will chooses to do differently each day.  Why?

My noble motives for behaving differently, even in the opposite direction, include my: need to be safe from harm; personal protection boundaries; scarcity of resources; American dream of the good life; acceptance by others; need to fix, manage, and control other people towards my vision of "our" good; avoiding fears from the past, present, and future; desire to receive good grades from the judge(s); escape from unfavorable circumstances; pain avoidance; telling of my good life story; loyalty to my family; and justifications for the way things are - "justified."

I expect that the first paragraph is about being rightly related to God and the second paragraph is about self protection and promotion.  The first paragraph was possible because my unholy self nature was judged, found wanting, yet redeemed and reconciled with God, sin debt paid for, by God Himself in Christ - "I'm with Him."  My part was believing on God and His great redemptive work in Christ.

The second paragraph characterizes me working out life by me and for me.  Thankfully, my conscience and the Spirit of God convicts me of this wrong way of being before I cause too much harm.  He restores me daily in a loving way.  My life seems to be a continuing cycles of restoration that're heading in a good direction - like we might expect a loving Father to do for those who are His.

The PDCA model is good - yet, different - standardizing & sustaining change

The only church in town will learn and know that they can respond to His calling and be His.  They'll find fellow pilgrims to walk together with through life's circumstances.  Yes, a continuing series of restorative cycles that strengthen our need for receiving love from our heavenly Father - that kind of love is infectious - It can't stay still.  Love spreads far and wide - shining Light everywhere.

Just for today...

"Half an hour's meditation is essential except when you are very busy. Then a full hour is necessary."  Francis de Sales

"First I need to develop a relationship with God . . . Next, I learn to become at peace with myself . . .  I can't be that person when I'm overly controlled by guilt, fear, and resentment and negligibly aware of my gifts and talents . . . Lastly, I start acting responsibly toward others."  Hope for Today (p. 326)

"...conflicting views become merely different views, so our problems can be solved with tolerant understanding and mutual respect."  One Day at a Time (p. 326)

November 4th - Reset your bearings each day

The story...

I've enjoyed years of daily readings that've helped me better understand how I might best be and do each day - living life more fully in community too.   In the past, I've started many similar initiatives yet this time it seems lasting.  Why?  I've a group of people who are on similar journeys that I meet with regularly.  And, new people join the group so that the group never forgets its purpose and how far each of us has grown.  Their stories seem part of my story.  I value each and every member of the group - this continues to surprise me.

So, just for today, how about reflecting on the quotes, their meaning for you, and how you might act to be different.  Read, understand, reflect, decide, act and be.

The only church in town will have God's Word to: read, understand, reflect on, decide upon, act on, and to be too.  The church is different from other community groups.  All are important, yet the church may be transformational with eternally realities in clearer view.

Just for today...

"...I find that the only way to have serenity is to become willing to accept the things that I cannot change. Acceptance gives me choices."  Courage to Change (p. 309)

"Consider the little mouse, how sagacious an animal it is which never entrusts his life to one hole only." Platus : Truculentus, act iv. sc. 4.

"I don't get well first and then start to mend. To become a whole person, I need to live now, take part, and become involved with others."  Hope for Today (p. 309)

"...the main source of our unhappiness is that we ourselves don't know what we want. We think we're dissatisfied with what we have, with the way we live, and the way other people act to us. . . It really adds up to this: that we're not satisfied with ourselves, and we can certainly do something about that."  One Day at a Time (p. 309)

November 2nd - Offering, those you're with, your best

The story...

What an odd thing to want the best from others when we aren't willing to be that "good" person ourselves.  Worse yet, what a strange thing to want other people around us to behave according to an undefined "best" standard.

What do I want from those around me?  A listening and understanding ear, respect for all, loving themself and their neighbor, honesty, curiosity, eye for beauty, willingness to learn new things, participate in and support community, courage throughout each day, an optimistic view of eternity grounded in reality, sharing with those in need, and a faith that God loves us and will do good for us within His will?

What if those in our groups took the Boy Scout Oath?  "On my honor I will do my best to do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Scout Law; to help other people at all times; to keep myself physically strong, mentally awake, and morally straight."

How about the Girl Scout Law?  "I will do my best to be honest and fair, friendly and helpful, considerate and caring, courageous and strong, and responsible for what I say and do, and to respect myself and others, respect authority, use resources wisely, make the world a better place, and be a sister to every Girl Scout."

Goodness, rooted in a good heart, is infectious.  If it starts within each of us then we'll likely all enjoy a better life - "Let it Start with Me."

The only church in town will work out their lives together according to the revealed Word of God.  It will be a reverent place of relationships - me with God in Christ, me with me, me with you, and you with you. 

Just for today...

"I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are moving." Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809 - 94)

"I will not reserve my deference and respect for outsiders whom I want to please or my pleasant expressions for those I want to impress. The people I live with are worthy of my best behavior..."  One Day at a Time (p. 307)

October 28th - Engage in Today - the Now

The story...

What does the day look like for you?  I don't know as I write this story, self-aware, in history.  Strangely, that first sentence is in the past and I may need to reread it to remember what I wrote.  I must also remember what the first words of this sentence were in order to understand my intended message.

Today, I'm enjoying the "Just for Today" quotes that were written by others years ago.  They were highlighted as important to me years ago.  I'm considering, and making sense of them, in the present. And, they're conveyed to you from history.  You're enjoying them in the now - the present.

We've got today...

The only church in town will be built on wisdom - they'll focus on reality, where to go, and how to get there.  They'll trust what their Creator and Sustainer has revealed.  And, they'll meet and walk humbly/honestly with Him in the present.

Just for today...

"So it's in my best interest to treat others as I wish to be treated. I try to imagine that my words and actions are being addressed to myself, because in the long run I generally get back what I give out."  Courage to Change (p. 302)

"I've learned that if an issue isn't going to be important in 30 days, then it's probably not worth troubling myself with now."  Hope for Today (p. 302)

"Today is mine, It is unique. Nobody in the world has one exactly like it. It holds the sum of all past experience and the future of all potential."  One Day at a Time (p. 302)

October 11th - Knowing where to go and how to get there

The story...

The three quotes below, Just for today..., are pearls of  personal wisdom that were shared from three people who lived them out in reality.  I've benefited much from others like them - you have the opportunity to do likewise.  Most of my knowledge, and wisdom too, seems to have come from others rather than garnered from my own experiences, thoughts, imagination, and ideas.

My favorite definition for wisdom is: "knowing where to go and how to get there."  I must've first heard this definition in my 30's and I've retained it into my 60's - It's sufficed.  It feels like my own yet I heard it from another.  I heard the definition of God as "That than which their is no greater" - It's sufficed.  My framework, world view, or model of truth has been developed over a lifetime.  Yet, sometimes reality, and others, will speak truth that'll "rock my boat" and help me to more honestly and rightly view history, life, and the future.  This's happened often while walking side-by-side through life with my close friends and through reflection on the truth that God has revealed through His recorded Word.

Amen means truly.  People within the only church in town will often say "amen" when they hear the proclamation of what's true.  It's a good thing to freely walk in the reality of the love of God in Christ.

 "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free" (Galatians 5:1)

Just for today...

"...years of isolating myself had left me with scars that couldn't heal overnight. I suffered from low self-esteem, impaired social skills, and lack of self knowledge, to name a few."  Hope for Today (p. 285)

"Each of us has the right and the obligation to make our own decisions. It is character-destroying to usurp that right."   One Day at a Time (p. 285)

"But sometimes my thirst for knowledge can be an attempt to exercise power where I am powerless."  Courage to Change (p. 285)

October 9th - Do your part and trust God with the rest

The story...

I received an e-mail that encouraged me to better participate in this years group meetings by coming to the weekly meeting less preoccupied with other thoughts and cares.  They suggested the following method to better prepare for group activities:

"Get out a piece of paper and write down everything on your mind. Write down anxieties, distractions, expectations of the evening, plans for tomorrow, and anything else consuming your thoughts. Getting our mind-clutter out and onto the page frees us to focus on one another."

Since I was planning on attending a meeting that evening, I intentionally identified the things that were weighing on my mind so that I might more freely focus on others, receive their messages, reflect more deeply, and to be more sensitive to the Spirit of God too.  Instead of writing each one down, I went out to my drive way and shot baskets.  

First, I identified what was true about the situation.  Second, I acknowledged my part.  Third, voiced my responsibility.  Fourth, decided what related actions I'd take.   And finally, trusted God to work out the rest in the truly best way according to His will.  The whole process seemed right, fruitful, and a good lifelong habit.  As you might expect, I participated in the meeting in a more attentive, balanced, and supportive way - more engaged.

The only church in town will focus on the reality of God's will and presence in creation, history, the "now," our lives, and the future too.  If God wills something to be done then it'll be done.  Yet, if He is going to work His will out through us, we must be obedient and aligned with Him and His will.  That's where I want to be.

Just for today...

"I use my intellect instead of my emotions before responding. I detach from the person or situation until I can calm down and think rationally."   Hope for Today (p. 283)

"I'm willing to stop fighting reality, to stop trying to do God's part, and to do my own . . . I am free to live my own life, safe in the knowledge that God is taking care of the world, my loved ones, and myself."  Courage to Change (p. 286)

"...confuse not the business of others with your own."  One Day at a Time (p. 283)

October 8th - A limited vantage point

The story.,,

My best friend and I were sitting behind home plate at our son's baseball game.  The female umpire was making some questionable calls - I made a few critiques to my friend that I hope the umpire didn't hear.  Then the big slide occurred at home plate.  Coaches from both teams thought they had the better vantage point and argued for their positions.  People were either right or wrong and nobody wanted to be wrong.  The umpire cried...

I knew both of the coaches and was surprised to hear how differently they perceived the same situation.  It was like we saw different events at home plate - our conclusions were different too.  

Later, the baseball organization held a meeting to review the altercation(s).  I assume that witnesses told them what they perceived to have happened - maybe the umpire and coaches were provided an opportunity to tell "their side of the story."  They decided that my son's coach was no longer allowed to coach in the league - he made the umpire cry.

Do we have a comprehensive view or vantage over any situation that we participate in or witness?  Our perspectives are based on how we view life, our past experiences, our bias, our personality, our perspectives, our feelings, the power of God worked out,  the need to agree with or please other people . . . the list is endless.

The only church in town will study and trust the book where God's perspective of us and history is revealed.  God's Word says that there is a spiritual reality in life's situations.  King David described what he perceived to be God's work in delivering him from his enemies in Psalm 18 - David was writing about the most important reality that was unobserved by most of the scene's participants.  David paints a picture, in song, of what was actually going on.  Yes, I hope you'll find out more of what is "really going on" within the only church in town.

Just for today...

"I see that miracles frequently touch my life. Maybe they always have, but I didn't see them."  Courage to Change (p. 282)

"We may magnify disagreements about money for instance; we expand minor slights into huge grievances. Without realizing it, we're looking for trouble and are ready to fasten on little things that we could easily pass over if we really wanted our own peace of mind."  One Day at a Time (p. 282)

September 28th - What might I've learned if I was a monk?

The story...

I read a quote from Thomas Merton's book that surprised me - it rang true to my previous learnings, knowledge, experiences, and possibly my spirit too.  I suspected these things were true; yet, I hadn't put the pieces together before.  "No Man Is an Island," was an impactful book that helped my better understand life's journey.  Thomas seemed to've put the important pieces of life together before I was born.  I'm so thankful that he shared his life walk with God in a way that I could receive, understand, apply to me, and to live out more fully too.

I read another book that summarized Merton's life up to the point of his entering the life of a monk in central Indiana.  I hope that we all seek to better understand who we are as we work out our life story.  Seems like part of a good life is sharing and growing alongside other fellow sojourners.  I expect that we'll learn we need each other.

The only church in town will be a place where we can meet others who want to work out their life in the reality of God's revealed Word.  We can share our lives together and become a more complete whole -  a community.

Just for today...

"... when we are strong we are always much greater than the things that happen to us, and the soul of a man who has found himself is like a deep sea in which there may be many fish: but they never come up out of the sea, and not one of them is big enough to trouble its placid surface. His "being" is far greater than anything he feels or does."  

"The deep secrecy of my own being is often hidden from me by my own estimate of what I am. My idea of what I am is falsified by my admiration for what I do . . . We all seek to imitate one another's imagined greatness.  If I do not know who I am, it is because I think I am the sort of person everyone around me wants to be."

Thomas Merton, No Man Is an Island (p. 125)

September 22nd - Pilgrim's Progress - The 1678 Christian Life Allegory

The story...

"If you're in a frustrating exchange with another person - drop the tug-of-war rope."  I remember hearing about this "tool" from another person who described it as one she used on her journey to being more okay with herself.  She was at a point of feeling worthy of being loved and able to more fully love others too.  "Dropping the rope" seemed easy to do so I "tried it on" for a few days - the results were real good.  I shared my exuberance for the "tool" application, at our next meeting, and was ready to "try on" more live-giving ways of living from these new friends who'd traveled a similar road.  As we listened and shared, our lives began to grow together - we seemed to be walking side-by-side as fellow sojourners towards the "Celestial City" - enjoying each other's company along the way.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The Pilgrims Progress

The only church in town will offer, those who might read Pilgrim's Progress, to better understanding of our life journey towards that celestial city.  The church will offer fellow pilgrims God's revelation about Himself, faith, hope, peace, joy, our future, and sustenance for our most adventurous journey.

Just for today...

"It's a wonderful opportunity to practice giving unconditional love and support by simply listening.  Many of us hear stories that are similar to our own; others can often identify with the feelings that are expressed. Perhaps we will be reminded of where we have been and how far we have come."  Courage to Change (p. 266)

"Worrying about trifles saps my spiritual energy which I could certainly put to better use. Am I willing to waste my life in this way? . . . I will not be made uneasy by what others do, whether they intend to hurt me or not. I will not clutter up my thoughts with resentment; it would not profit me, worse it would hurt me."  One Day at a Time (p. 266)

"Sometimes I'm afraid I'll have to separate from my family members to maintain my quest for healthy living, especially when they deny and justify their unacceptable behavior . . . I am slowly learning that trying to change someone else's behavior to suit my needs is an exercise in futility and frustration. Truly profound power and peace lie in the ability to change my behavior to suit my needs . . . I can accept people as they are."  Hope for Today (p. 266)

September 19th - Hurt and Resentment or...

The story...

I wanted something from my dad that he couldn't give me.  Did he tell me that it was his to offer or did I just assume he could?  He did thigs with my older brother that he didn't do with me -  maybe there was something deficient in me?  I assumed that he was a "good" moral person because he did good stuff, was an upstanding member of the community, went to church, and served multiple roles in the church too.  His personality and gifts were different than mine and I couldn't be like him no matter how hard I tried.  So, what did I want from him that he couldn't give?  He did give me much.

I'd like to have known what a good life looked like and that I was worthy, capable and had the power to live one out.  I'd like to have been okay with me and my unique: capabilities, talents and self even though the people of the world seemed to continually challenge my worth.

These guys said I had the power - I don't think they had it to give.

My dad was a good man and good dad - he helped me much and did the best he could with what he had.  I wanted a close relationship with God, my dad, with a few close friends, with my family, eventually alongside a life partner and my community too - these relationships were illusive for me. I'm so thankful for them now.

The relationships that we need might be found within the only church in town.  They can be worked out within the will of God - He's got the power.

Just for today...

"I thought that resentment would prevent me from ever being hurt again . . . living my life under the heavy burdens of rage and resentment were hurting me . . . I experienced a spiritual awakening in the form of a deep desire to let go of those feelings that were poisoning my life . . . I gave up my bitterness and regained my life."  Hope for Today (p. 263)

September 13th - What do I truly fear?

The story...

The surgeon showed me my spinal x-ray.  "Your spondylolisthesis between your L4 and L5 vertebrae is pinching that bundle of nerves which is causing pain in both your back and your lower extremities.  The surgery will align the two with metal rods and the impingements will be removed - of course their are risks."  My life wasn't doable, I opted for the surgery, there were complications that I suffered through, yet the eventual outcome was positive - my fears were alleviated.

spondylolisthesis - From Wikipedia

I don't characterize myself as a fearful person, yet there are things I fear.  The sum of my fears seem to fit within the following seven categories:

1. Changes within the "game of life" requiring adaptation
2. Living outside the will of God
3. Loneliness
4. Loss of loving relationships
5. Loss of security for me and those I love
6. Prison - loss of freedom
7. Rejection

The only church in town will shine the light of God's revealed Word on our reality.  The causes of our fear may remain yet solutions are attenable and available within the "Light."

Just for today...

"God grant me the wisdom to recognize the faults I am building into a wall, such a wall as cannot be penetrated even by love."  One Day at a Time (p. 257)

"Why does a dog bark? I feel terror when I'm on the receiving end of ferocious barking. I suspect that a dog barks because of his own fear. If the dog really wanted to attack, he'd dispense with the barking and lunge for me."  Hope for Today (p. 257)

September 6th - What's really important?

The story...

What's really important today?  I've done a pretty good job of resisting the need to make lists within this blog; yet, this seems like a good place to list what's really important for today - in rank order:

1. Pray and be quiet with God.
2. Love the Lord my God - Abide with my Father in a sort of continual prayer/connection.
3. Be conscience of the Holy Spirit's work as I walk humbly and patiently within the will of God.
4. Eat, breathe, and take care of my body.
5. Love my wife as I love myself.
6. Be joyful, hopeful, peaceful, and bear His fruit.
7. Love, and receive love from, my church community - the body of Christ.
8. Build up key relationships more than they've naturally declined.
9. Interact with neighbors and take opportunities to let'em know they're respected and loved.
10. Blog and continually learn.  Grow to be a better man who trusts God.
11. Read what God says.
12. Maintain and grow the assets that I'm entrusted with.

It's easy for me to see other people not acting out their age and life reality.  I hope that I continue to work out the phase of life that I'm actually in and don't short cut my life story.  I want to be a good character, within the epic story of life, who was and is faithful to his God and Father.

I hope that I remember, each day, that my story's important only because it's worked out within the will of God.  The Holy Spirit indwells me for His biding and He will be resting in the hands of God after my body breathes it's last breath.  Yet, God's promised a new everlasting body for all eternity - we only know this through His revealed Word found in the bible.  I hope that each of us stays curious regarding the spiritual reality that's just as real as our journey on earth yet eternal. 

The only church in town would grow Christ ones who live for today, plan for tomorrow, and think on eternity.  They'd learn to live in the reality that we're eternal beings who're journeying on this orb, earth, for but a few seasons.

Just for today...

"...most people spend more time planning vacations than they do thinking about what is really important in their lives . . . Am I so busy with smaller, less meaningful concerns that I run out of time for the really important considerations?"  Courage to Change (p. 250)

"Perhaps I have felt a right and an obligation to set the standards for the family and compel those around me to live up to them . . . Teach me to leave to others their inborn right to dignity and independence, as I wish to have them leave to me."  One Day at a Time (p. 250)

August 19th - Hang onto relationships loosely

The story...

It's best to hold a tennis racket and handlebars loosely - gripping too tightly over corrects and can take us where we don't wanna go quickly.  My first rides on my KLR in deep sand were out of control and scary.  What I learned about riding motorcycles in deep sand seems to apply to life too.

• Don't sit down - stay balanced on your feet
• Relax your mind and your body will follow - fight the urge to grip too hard
• Do your steering through your feet weighting the pegs.
• Maintain momentum - consistent throttle control
• When done right, it's like a dance - joyful.

If I look back twenty years, most of the people, places and things have changed.  They'd have changed no matter how hard I tried to keep them the way I thought best.   If I wouldn't have been open to new people, places, things, and ideas - Id have missed out on much of the joy of life.

I'm learning to hold onto relationships less tightly - they change and are best when freely offered and accepted.  Sometimes what I thought I wanted was not what they could actually give or accept. "Stay balanced and let them be."  They may choose to dance a similar dance as you yet not with you - that's okay.  Let them live their own life and enjoy the few close dance partners that you do have - be willing to let them go and be open to new ones too.

The only church in town will be a good place to develop life-giving relationships.  Hopefully, the relationships will be characterized as freely offered, graceful, forgiving, and changing too.  Your relationship with God, through faith in Christ, is obviously the most important.  He's the foundation for the best relationships - those dances that're part of a joyful life lived out in ever-changing circumstances.

Just for today...

"Imagine the bad; Anxiety and worry - See anew; God and we."   Am I a Poet?

August 15th - Can you understand your psyche with your mind?

The story...

Last night, I experienced death in a dream - I don't remember this occurring before. The scenario, I'm riding on my cruiser motorcycle and enter into a tunnel entrance ramp onto I80.  I take a lane that ends up to be a dirt path with construction all around.  There is no way back to the lane of vehicles that are speeding along their way.  I stop due to a big ditch in front of me where other motorcycle riders are attempting to climb out to get back onto I80.  I switch lanes to the left, looking for an easier path, and notice a huge tunnel-digging machine emerging from a tunnel, under construction, behind me.  I pause and it runs over me - I feel nothing.  My mind looked for the feelings of death pains and wondered if I was dead.  It took a few seconds to remember that this was a dream and not reality. "Yes, I 'm still dreaming."  I woke up in a sort of curious state - did that vivid, participatory, dream mean something?  Do I have a latent fear that's operating behind the scene within my psyche?

Seignac, Guillaume - Cupid and Psyche

Who can understand a man's mind, soul and spirit?  God says that a man doesn't even understand his own heart.  Should I try to understand my own psyche with my own mind?  Is that even reasonable?

It's a good thing to trust God's word and bear fruit in peace.  Yes, God's Word does offer the way towards peace, in the present, within the varying circumstances of life.  Praise God for how He loves His creatures.

The only church in town will preach God's revealed Word.  The people will hear about who He is, what He plans for us His creatures, and how to live a good-to-great life within His will - our wills connected.  The creature's part is to trust His Word and His provision for those who are His, His in Christ.

Just for today...

"Fear is the energy that activates my character defects. Sometimes my shortcomings lie dormant like a bumper car ride with the electricity turned off, and I don't even notice them."  Hope for Today (p. 228)

"How important is it? . . . I find what I might  have viewed as a disaster is really insignificant . . . I can take my disappointment or irritation at face value and refuse to dramatize it."  Courage to Change (p. 228)

"Many of our frustrations come from not making the most of ourselves and getting out of life what it has to give, ready and waiting for us to accept."  One Day at a Time (p. 228)

"Twas right there; Ready for pickin - Just didn't believe; I'm a sickin."   Am I a Poet?