October 6th - Life traveling better or worse ?

The story...

Sometimes; a group member, who pushes the group to adopt their idea of the "best," can restrain the group from moving forward towards real growth.  Yes, I was that idealist that often critiqued the motives and adequacy of significant change proposals.  Didn't we all want the best?  I knew change was necessary; but, put on the brakes while trying to persuade others to see, know and feel as I did.  I expect that my input  to the group was needed; yet, my insistence on my "higher ways" filtered my ears, mind and heart.  I wish that I'd sought to understand different viewpoints, ideas, and perspectives before attempting to "sell" my ideal version of "the" best way forward - the "right" way to go.

A friend of mine, Henry Hudson, claimed to read Pilgrim's Progress every year.  I followed him by reading it a few times - each time it's more meaningful as the allegory "paints" the story.  Oh... that I might rely on, and more fully trust, God as I turn each page of life.

The only church in town will know that we're all on a journey.  It's a mistake to camp too long in one place along the way.  As the story of "life" progresses, God prunes those who are His so that they produce, and enjoy, more fruit together.  That kind of fruit is shared and witnesses to their source.  Fruit born and enjoyed, shines His Light into the dark crannies of our lives - stuff looks differently.

Just for today...

"Opportunities for spiritual growth, as well as new character defects, pop up like weeds in a newly-mown lawn . . . My problem was my spiritual pride and arrogance, not my situation. The need to be right was robbing me of my serenity in all kinds of situations."   Courage to Change (p. 280)

"Walking alone; Old and tired - Sojourning together; Brightly wired."
"Eyes on prize; Loving along - God in us; Built strong."   Am I a Poet?

October 5th - Do Eeyores have to be Eeyores?

The story...

We've seen others isolate themselves after extended periods of rejection - not receiving the love they needed - they seem to've given up.  They may appear as an Eeyore or not appear at all.

Maybe they looked for love in all the wrong places.  Or, maybe they expected that all their love needs should've been met by their parents or that illusive life-long partner.

Looking for love in all the wrong places.

I hope that the only church in town will be the community where they engage in life - experiencing the giving and receiving of love.  What will be that source of strength and love?   They'll have the book that offers really "good news."  They might just learn about, and hopefully experience, "The" source within the only church in town.  "Ain't that good news . . . man ain't that news."

Just for today...

"I did choose to give my younger brother things I wanted myself in order to win his love. I did decide to shut off my feelings from my family . . . I had to look at why I chose to become involved with unavailable people . . . My choices reflect my opinion of a relationship with myself."  Hope for Today (p. 278)

"I have a choice about where to focus my attention. I'm challenged to find positive qualities in myself, my circumstances, and other human beings . . . It may be difficult to break a long-established pattern of depression, doom-sayings, and complaining, but it's worth the effort."  Courage to Change (p. 278)

"Sought good; In the crowd - Egos met; Wounded proud."
"Christ ones met; Livin new - Knowing God; Truly true."    Am I a Poet?

October 4th - Are "we" better than "me?"

The story...

I walked into the T-Group at a NTL Human Interaction Laboratory in Bethel, Maine.  My V.P. of H.R. recommended that I attend this week-long experience that he personally found transformational.  This was the first session and nobody was talking - we all just sat there.  I guessed who the leader(s) were yet they said nothing.  A few people were so uncomfortable that they spoke up, asked questions, and even tried to start their own meeting activity - the group shut each of these would-be leaders down in order.  The agitation, uncomfortableness, and negative group dynamics grew.  It got better and better as the week progressed - for everybody.

The week was transformational for me - I left more accepting of me and more thankful for the group.  We learned, experienced, and worked out being a more fully-functioning human being within community - experiencing the value of working and living together.  Yes, I was a better person having experienced this Human Interaction Laboratory - I learned and grew with and through other people.

1990's training binder on group dynamics

Even after all of the courses, experiences, successes and failures, I still find group dynamics challenging, rewarding, and discouraging too.  Yet, working out life together, through relationships and community, are worthy and seem to be an important part of the "good" life.

"We" may not be more capable in some things than me; yet, we are likely more complete, capable, and fulfilled.  The fear of group rejection, not fitting in, still looms in the background.  What if they ... ?  The risk of group rejection reminds me of the following scene where Forest Gump defends Jenny during a Black Panther meeting - not fitting in.

Forest Gump's fight ruins the Black Panther party?

The only church in town will grow people, friendships, groups and community within the Light of God's truth about who He, they, we, and I am.  It'll be a great place to live, grow, and be - working out life together where really good news is heard and shared.  A place where people learn to love, be loved and suffer together too - just as we were created to be?

Just for today...

"The change in me will be reflected in every person whose life touches mine."  One Day at a Time (p. 278)

"I've learned to live with, put up with, and tolerate many things. I wanted to change but was afraid to try for fear of the unknown . . . I finally tore the wallpaper down."  Hope for Today (p. 278)

"I realized that it was my own fear and shame, and not the embarrassing details of my problems, that kept me at a distance."  Courage to Change (p. 278)

"Thinkin big; Knowing true - Peace with God; Livin anew."
"He works; We abide - In Him; We shall reside."      Am I a Poet?

October 3rd - Self awareness and feelings

The story...

"Why did I do that? . . . Why do I make so many mistakes? . . . Why did I resist doing good? . . . Why am I unmotivated to act? . . . Why did they reject me? . . . Why didn't I fulfill my commitment? . . . Why didn't I speak up? . . . Why couldn't I keep quiet and listen? . . . Why can't I be like them?"   

Self awareness is a good thing - some say it's what makes us human.  Thinking about thinking allows us to grow, adapt, improve and even survive.  Yet, wrong self thinking can lead us into self-defeating spirals that take us down rat holes where precious life can be wasted or missed.

WSJ 09/09/23 (p. C1)

We're capable of dwelling on our feeling and adopting negative patterns.  Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey did a good job in their article, "The Power to Decide How You Feel," of describing how we might: be more aware of our thoughts and feelings; decide what's true about them; take action when needed; and disposition them for what they really are -  "...understanding that emotions are signals to your conscious brain that something is going on that requires your attention and action."  Feelings can be a wonderful sensing mechanism.   A self-aware mind can use them to: further understand reality; better act; and be.  "I am not this anger. It will not manage me or make my decisions for me."

The only church in town will shine the Light of God revealed truth regarding what's truly valuable and lasting - stuff we can't hold in our hands.  God has big hands.

Just for today...

"I will spend more time with myself in this lifetime than with anyone else. Let me learn to be the kind of person I would like to have as a friend."  Courage to Change (p. 277)

"I tried to manipulate and control everybody in my life to change the shape of their personalities to suit mine. I even attended workshops so I could make changes happen . . . Instead of spending time with people and situations where I don't fit, I can look for ones that I do."  Hope for Today (p. 277)

"Chronic stress often leads to maladaptive coping mechanisms in modern life. These include the misuse of drugs and alcohol, rumination on the sources of stress, self-harm, and self-blaming. These responses don't just fail to provide long-term relief they can further compound your problems through addiction, depression, and increased anxiety. What these coping techniques do is try to change the outside world - at least as you perceive it."  Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey, "The Power to Decide How You Feel" Wall Street Journal, 9/09-10/23 (p. C1).

"We didn't match; But we're okay - Found a friend; Day by day."
"Enjoying most; Friend to few - What I need; Livin true."   Am I a Poet?

October 2nd - Does your constitution justify "just doing it?"

The story...

The USA Supreme Court protects and interprets our constitution.  Who protects my constitution?  I guess it's me.  Should I just do it, think about it, or write in on my to-do list?  Some things are planned while others are acted out as a matter of habit or principle.  Within my constitution, can I, or should I, just do it?  I understand my constitution to be principles, or precedents, for how I manage my life - how I make decisions and act on them in accordance with who I am.  Take a look at a bookmark I crafted and laminated in the 1990s - it speaks to being versus doing.  

This purpose statement is helpful; yet, it doesn't seem to be a constitution for how I might make daily decisions.   The following are a few ideas about the choices that I expect to make today along with the principle(s) that seem to drive them.  Might this be a reasonable way to write my constitution as opposed to a lofty set of ideas that I merely want to be true about me?

Make and drink coffee - Live in a supportive environment - self-care.

Wear a familiar shirt - Love in storge sort of way - self-care - self-respect.

Be kind to family and community.

Enjoy lunch with a good friend - Share and grow together.

Close Exercise ring on my Apple watch - Work toward goals - self-care.

Write in the blog - Clarify understanding "what's going on" and share too.

Tweak my investment choices - Plan and prepare for the future.

Prepare for group meeting - Learn, share and grow with other men.

Pray and meditate - "Be" actively present within my relationship with God in Christ.

Answer birthday wish visits and phone calls - Build kind, growing, and loving relationships.

Greet people on the bike path - Love and receive love.

Afternoon nap - Be kind to me.

Eat balanced meals - Care for me and enjoy.

Organize basement - Simplify for me and others too.

The only church in town will likely have a written purpose statement and constitution.  I hope that each member of this "called out group of people" would have their own constitution too and that the two would flow congruently.

Just for today...

"I felt afraid of doing the job incorrectly and being criticized, but I accepted it anyway. My fears were quelled because criticism never came . . . 'I can, I can, I can! And I do.'"  Hope for Today (p. 276)

"Eyes on home; Busy hands here - Abide in Christ; No fear."
"Senses veiled; For a time - Then we'll see; Wonderfully Thine."      Am I a Poet?

October 1st - Do you know what I want or need?

The story...

"Oooooh  If she knew what she wants

(He'd be giving it to her)  If she knew what she needs

(He could give her that too)  If she knew what she wants

(But he can't see through her)  If she knew what she wants

He'd be giving it to her  Giving it to her

But she wants everything  (He can pretend to give her everything)

Or there's nothing she wants  (She don't want to sort it out)

He's crazy for this girl  (But she don't know what she's looking for)

If she knew what she wants  He'd be giving it to her

Giving it to her  I'd say her values are corrupted

But she's open to change  Then one day she's satisfied

And the next I'll find her crying  And it's nothing she can explain

If she knew what she wants  (He'd be giving it to her)

If she knew what she needs  (He could give her that too)

If she knew what she wants  (But he can't see through her)

If she knew what she wants  He'd be giving it to her

Giving it to her (giving it to her)  Some have a style

That they work hard to refine  So they walk a crooked line

But she won't understand  Why anyone would have to try

To walk a line when they could fly  No sense thinking I could rehabilitate her

When she's fine, fine, fine  She's got so many ideas traveling around in her head

She doesn't need nothing from mine  If she knew what she wants

(He'd be giving it to her)  If she knew what she needs

(He could give her that too)  If she knew what she wants

(But he can't see through her)  If she knew what she wants

He'd be giving it to her  Giving it to her

But she wants everything  (He can pretend to give her everything)

Or there's nothing she wants  (She don't want to sort it out)

He's crazy for this girl  (But she don't know what she's looking for)

If she knew what she wants  He'd be giving it to her

Giving it to her  (He'd be giving it to her)

(He could give her that too)  (But he can't see through her)

Ooooooh  Giving it to her  Giving it to her now."

Susanna Hoffs and the Bangles: "If she knew what she wants."

We'll find people within the only church in town who're trusting God to meet essential needs and to bless too.  We too might trust God and bear real fruit - the kind of stuff we all need.  For now, I desire His Will and want to be okay in Christ - praise God.

Just for today...

"When we bring things out into the light, they lose their power over us."  Courage to Change (p. 275)

"Few of us know what we really want, and none of us knows what is best for us. That knowledge remains, in spite of all our determined resistance, in the hands of God."  Hope for Today (p. 275)

"... when we are strong we are always much greater than the things that happen to us, and the soul of a man who has found himself is like a deep sea in which there may be many fish: but they never come up out of the sea, and not one of them is big enough to trouble its placid surface. His "being" is far greater than anything he feels or does."   Thomas Merton, No Man Is an Island (p. 125)

"He enters; Life leaps - In Christ; For keeps."   Am I a Poet?

September 30th - Imagining God's Word or what I might worry into existence?

The story...

I silently sang songs from a "Young Life" song book one morning.  I seemed to wander into an imaginary trip of: past experiences, feelings, and glimpses of what might be true.

Maybe I imagined more when I was young - before the reality of the middle chapters of life were written.  The future was unknown.   How much do we actually remember?  What we do remember is a cloudy interpretation from our perspectives.  There was much we didn't perceive and our interpretations were obviously not "the" complete picture.

I can only imagine

The only church in town will work out life within community - one that trusts God's revelations.  A community that's enlightened by His Word.  As we imagine realities that are only partially witnessed, we're able to experience glimpses of so much more.  "I can only imagine..."

Just for today...

"This day is all I have to work with. The past is over and tomorrow is out of reach."  Courage to Change (p. 274)

"Worry ahead; Sad behind - Forget now; Self malign."
"Be present; Honest take - Righteously stand; Future remake."    Am I a Poet?

September 29th - A listening experiment

The story...

One day while writing this blog, I willed to listen better.  I planned an experiment to test if I could will to: more fully listen to others; better understand them; and apply what I learned.  I put myself out there in the presence of other people and engaged in more balanced conversation.  

Later that morning, I received some news that changed my experiment.   I expect that I was kind and listened well; yet, that wasn't my focus.  The trivial was forgotten in light of the new news - paying attention came naturally.  I couldn't resist listening to the reality of life - my ears were wide open.

People living together within the only church in town will drift less frequently into an imaginary reality when focused on the light of God's Word.  They'll tend to actually care for, and be interested in, other people.  Yes, this is a place where there're things that you'll want to listen to - the truth about Him, us, and the revealed future.  Do you want to be with or without Him?

Just for today...

"What I learn from negative comments can be useful in opening my mind to my own wrong thinking."  One Day at a Time (p. 273)

"It is the disease of not listening . . . that I am troubled with."  William Shakespeare

September 28th - What might I've learned if I was a monk?

The story...

I read a quote from Thomas Merton's book that surprised me - it rang true to my previous learnings, knowledge, experiences, and possibly my spirit too.  I suspected these things were true; yet, I hadn't put the pieces together before.  "No Man Is an Island," was an impactful book that helped my better understand life's journey.  Thomas seemed to've put the important pieces of life together before I was born.  I'm so thankful that he shared his life walk with God in a way that I could receive, understand, apply to me, and to live out more fully too.

I read another book that summarized Merton's life up to the point of his entering the life of a monk in a Kentucky monastery.  I hope that we all seek to better understand who we are as we work out our life story.  Life seems to be good when sharing and growing alongside fellow sojourners within the Body of Christ.

The only church in town will be a place where we can meet others who want to work out their life in the reality of God's revealed Word.  We can share our lives together and become a more complete whole -  a community.

Just for today...

"... when we are strong we are always much greater than the things that happen to us, and the soul of a man who has found himself is like a deep sea in which there may be many fish: but they never come up out of the sea, and not one of them is big enough to trouble its placid surface. His "being" is far greater than anything he feels or does."  

"The deep secrecy of my own being is often hidden from me by my own estimate of what I am. My idea of what I am is falsified by my admiration for what I do . . . We all seek to imitate one another's imagined greatness.  If I do not know who I am, it is because I think I am the sort of person everyone around me wants to be."

Thomas Merton, No Man Is an Island (p. 125)

September 27th - Worth fretting over?

The story...

The virus symptoms lasted for 2.5 weeks.  Since it persisted past the two-week limit, I called my primary-care doctor.  He likely wouldn't be able to identify the virus.   Maybe he'd prescribe an anti-viral drug to boost my immune system.  Since I had only a basic understanding of immune systems, I listened to three related YouTube introductory videos.  I learned related: facts, principals; and some of my misunderstandings.

He listened to my symptoms and physically inspected me - an intern with him repeated some of the checks.  He asked for two blood samples to both check my immune system and to search for wasted muscle.  He'd an idea of what it might be but didn't tell me.  My blood was drawn at 3:30pm 9/01/2023.

Four days later, I was hoping to get the blood test results.  These data were to help my doctor prescribe a course of action to better my body and life.  I speculated much over those three days - knew in part but would soon have answers.

The virus continued on, I visited my primary physician once again and he asked for more blood tests.  The specific virus was never really known - the symptoms faded a way over a few weeks.

Suffering will be found within the only church in town; but, it won't be their focus.  Suffering may even be "gifted" to draw us closer to God and "bear" more fruit (John 15:1-12).  The church body will focus on the truth of God's good news and the blessings from living out every day in the "Light" of revealed truth and the presence of God.

Just for today...

"If my life has become unmanageable, how can I get control of it? Am I being forced into doing things I don't want to do, like losing my temper, contriving, conniving and scheming to make things work out the way I want them?"  One Day at a Time (p. 271)

"If thou canst not make thyself such a one as thou wouldst, how canst thou expect to have another according to thy liking?"  Thomas Kempis - The Imitation of Christ

"If I knew what was coming, I suspect that I would spend all my time trying to run from painful experiences instead of living. I would miss out on so much great stuff." Courage to Change (p. 271)

"Suffering settled; Hung o'er me - No satisfaction; Turned to Thee."
"Needy and broken; Trusted Him for - Habits replaced; Heart loves more."   Am I a Poet?

September 26th - There's me, us, and you - me is me, we are we, and you are you.

The story...

We were sitting on the porch talking about two mutual friends.  One of them delivered clear feedback to the other and set up a new personal boundary to protect their friendship. My friend commented that friends do give specific personal feedback when they have to: "that's what friends do."  The next day I delivered specific personal feedback to the friend who said they valued openess - they reacted negatively and defensively.  The message was difficult to deliver.  It was hard for them to receive or even acknowledge.  The exchange was difficult, uncomfortable; but, I think it worked out best.

Maybe good friends tell their friend their perceived truth once - not nagging or trying to persuade.  Should friends focus on the relationship and not on reforming or reframing each others minds or souls?  I think my friends feel safe enough to share their mind and soul, as they will to, while we respect each other's "space."  I'm okay with them just as they are - that's a strong foundation to build on and to grow from too.  Friends grow together.

The only church in town would be a place where people might find truer friends who they can grow together with.  Everyone would have at least one "good" friend to walk side by side with along their journey towards the celestial city.

Just for today...

"Smugness is the very worst sin of all, I believe. It is difficult for a shaft of light to pierce the armor of self-righteousness. Many of the things I thought I did unselfishly turned out to be pure rationalizations to get my own way about something."  One Day at a Time (p. 270)

"At our wedding ceremony, the minister said, '... and the two shall become one,' and we did, 'We' became 'him.'"  Hope for Today (p. 270)

"Your soul's yours; Wonderfully you - My soul's mine; Respectfully true."
"We have stuff; Our bounded story - Built and tilled; To His glory."   Am I a Poet?

September 25th - What lasts?

The story...

More than 50 years later, I still have a coloring project that I made in third grade.  I colored, many colors, all over a piece of crepe paper and covered the whole thing in black - I scraped off the black to expose an image of a horse.  I've also kept a few pieces of clothing that I owned before I was married.  The house that I grew up in still exists even though it's eroded to a shadow of what I once believed it to be.  I worked at a manufacturing organization for over 20 years and must've created and signed thousands of documents - It's likely that those document are all either replaced, deleted, or at best archived.  It's true that nothing stays the same and that there'll likely be little evidence that we ever existed in the not too distant future.

Martin Luther has a famous quote that I value: "I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God's hands, that I still possess."   My hands are touching a keyboard as I type - it's a helpful tool that allows me to create, understand, be, and communicate; yet, that too will go away some day.  

I actually painted this...

He's got the whole world in His hands.  He will work His will out with our without you.  Why not trust Him and bear the fruit that only He can give - it's the stuff that'll last and multiply.

The only church in town will teach about: how to trust God's revealed truth; our relationship as Creator and creature; our relationship potential; and future events that'll impact us and our world too.  We can trust our good Father with our: problems; concerns; people whom we love; and all eternity too.

Just for today...

"My parents are due to visit. Nothing promotes my relapse into compulsive, controlling behavior better than the anticipation of their judgement . . . Each time I doubt that my God knows the way, I'll remember how chaotic and complicated my life becomes when I try to take control."  Hope for Today (p. 269)

"Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life, And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever."   Psalm 23:6

"Friends listen; Neighbors see - Spirit of Christ; Abides in thee."   Am I a Poet?

September 24th - Walking emotionally, mentally, and spiritually well

The story...

Walks in the woods are important to me.  There're few man-made objects to be seen.  There're sounds of: creatures; the wind; rustling leaves; and your feet stamping stuff.  You feel the wind in your hair.  The bumps in the path push through the soles of your shoes sending signals through calloused feet.  You smell green plants and the decaying too.  You won't taste much; but, do taste some.  Yes, we can sense more while living in the present.

When on a walk, I'm capable of drifting back to an unresolved scenario from my past - often thinking about my role, what I did, and what I might've done.  I've learned to decide what's true about the past situation and to "dispatch" the history before it turns into obsessive thinking and depression.  Often the thoughts end well with me accepting reality and trusting God's resolution.

While walking, I might entertain expectations and future plans.  Although a worthy time investment, "future think" can turn into unproductive obsessive thinking.  It's not hard to begin imagining what might go wrong and ignite fear.  I don't want to view the future pessimistically nor walk into my future unprepared.

You know these guys...

It seems good to invest half of my walking time living more fully in the present - experiencing senses, feelings, and more "tuned into" my spirit and the presence of God.  Most often this state's not a thinking thing.  It's a peaceful and restful place to be - mind at rest, sensing what's going on, and looking forward to what's up around the path's bend.  Encounters with other hikers seem better too when I am walking more peacefully in the present - better connected within community.  When the hike's finished, I feel senses of accomplishment, restfulness, and connectedness with my whole self, others and God too - more okay and loved.

What happens when we don't experience love for an extended period of time?  Might we fail to engage in life or even to experience emotions?  I've heard stories of ignored-orphanage babies who stopped crying - they seem to've realized that there was nobody there to comfort them - expectations of love dashed.  The only church in town's a place to learn about what God's revealed about Himself, us, and answers to the future. The church is a place for experiencing the love of God and real reasons for being okay with you.  I want to be present where there are loving relationships - living within the grace of God.

Just for today...

"What would happen if we stopped blaming anyone for anything? We would experience miracles of tolerance and grace - rich spiritual rewards, reflected in a life of real fulfillment."  One Day at a Time (p. 268)

"...I suffered from the disease in the form of emotional sickness and spiritual starvation . . . When I could not do another thing for myself . . . God wrapped me in protective care and began to teach me that I am worthy of joy and serenity . . . God's grace is doing for us what we cannot do for ourselves."  Hope for Today (p. 268)

"They're bad; I'm sure - Mirror speaks; Me too."
"We're selfish; Ego builders - Polished idols; Tyrannical rule."
"Died self; Born again - Loved true; Forever His."     Am I a Poet?

September 23rd - They repeatedly cut me off - like sticking fingers in their ears

The story...

I recently attended an event with a group of people who I haven't met with for a few years.  As we worked out the socially acceptable conversation, it seemed they didn't want to hear my perspective, ideas, or story.  The frequent interruptions seemed to validate my take on this "group thing" - it appeared that I was violating their norms, values, and unwritten code of acceptable behavior.  It was almost as though the scene was an act in a play where we were to act out our assigned roles. The "play" must go on as it has in the past.  Maybe the group was saying: "We've been just fine and dandy and we will not allow you to disrupt our patterns with your big, idealistic, ideas of how we might be better off according to you."  They weren't wrong, I didn't want to be an actor in that play and I don't want to journey down their accepted path that seems to lead to something less than what I hope for.

I did deliver my messaging, although frequently interrupted, without overtly challenging what seemed to be rude and disrespectful behavior on their parts.  I felt rejected by the group and experienced feelings that might've propelled me to quickly react in disrespectful ways - I'm thankful that I showed respect and didn't react negatively.  I don't have to accept future invitations to return.

The only church in town will first love, through the power of God, and then preach the Word of God with power.  His Word will frequently conflict with the reality of how congregants are behaving and acting out their lives within this "bent" world.  People will be free to work out their faith in reality amongst fellow co-sojourners and within the power of God.  They may even develop close friends with whom they may grow side-by-side.

Just for today...

"One of my character defects is to respond in kind to behavior that is directed to me - to react to insults with more insults, to rudeness with rudeness . . .  If I am always reacting then I am never free."  Courage to Change (p. 267)

"I will not try to outwit or outmaneuver anyone else, but will proceed quietly to live my life so I will have less reason for self-reproach. I will withdraw my mind from what others do, and think of what I am doing. I will not react to challenging words and actions."  One Day at a Time (p. 267)

"When you are offended at any man's fault, turn to yourself and study your own failings. Then you will forget your anger."  Epictetus

September 22nd - Pilgrim's Progress - The 1678 Christian Life Allegory

The story...

"If you're in another frustrating emotional exchange - drop the tug-of-war rope."  I remember hearing about this "tool" from another person who described it as one she used on her journey to becoming a better person.  She recalled feeling worthy of being loved and able to more fully love others too.  "Dropping the rope" seemed easy to do so I "tried it on" for a few days - the results were real good.  I shared my exuberance for the "tool" application at our next meeting.  I  was ready to "try on" more live-giving ways of living alongside me new friends.  As we listened and shared, our lives began to grow together - we seemed to be walking side-by-side as fellow sojourners towards the "Celestial City" - enjoying each other's company along the way.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The Pilgrims Progress

The only church in town will offer, those who might read Pilgrim's Progress, a better understanding of our life journey towards that celestial city.  The church will offer fellow pilgrims God's revelation about Him, faith, hope, peace, love, joy, who we are, our future, and sustenance for our most adventurous-life journey.

Just for today...

"It's a wonderful opportunity to practice giving unconditional love and support by simply listening.  Many of us hear stories that are similar to our own; others can often identify with the feelings that are expressed. Perhaps we will be reminded of where we have been and how far we have come."  Courage to Change (p. 266)

"Worrying about trifles saps my spiritual energy which I could certainly put to better use. Am I willing to waste my life in this way? . . . I will not be made uneasy by what others do, whether they intend to hurt me or not. I will not clutter up my thoughts with resentment; it would not profit me, worse it would hurt me."  One Day at a Time (p. 266)

"Sometimes I'm afraid I'll have to separate from my family members to maintain my quest for healthy living, especially when they deny and justify their unacceptable behavior . . . I am slowly learning that trying to change someone else's behavior to suit my needs is an exercise in futility and frustration. Truly profound power and peace lie in the ability to change my behavior to suit my needs . . . I can accept people as they are."  Hope for Today (p. 266)

"Seven people; Gifted lives - Family formed; Wholly abide."
"Sin separates; Drifts apart - Love lost; Isolated hurt."
"One's saved; Shares faith - Other's believe; God's work."   Am I a Poet?

September 21st - When you find yourself in a hole - quit digging.

The story...

I was waiting in a McDonalds line on the way back from a trip where I was less than a team player.  For whatever reasons, I resented efforts from other people to bend my plans for our two-family trip.  Surely I knew that others had different expectations, perceptions, needs and wants; yet, I seemed to think I knew best for everyone.  I was frustrated with everything about that restaurant and the people who were there too.  It was bad enough that I remember thinking - "this is not okay, you need to be different."  Something had to change - I remember waiting in the line and pondering the situation - it must have been an impactful life moment.  "There's got to be a better way."

How do we know when we're not acting or thinking as a whole person - missing something that we need to make wise decisions?  We might: think wrongly; act selfishly; resent what others do or seem to be; remain ignorant; isolate from compadres; try to prevent wounds; please people; be co-dependent; or choose to be bad.  As if those reasons aren't enough to pause before acting, the acronym HALT comes to mind - pause if you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.

The only church in town can offer a true message of hope, peace, and joy (Romans 15:13).   Might a good life be characterized as walking more humbly, honestly and truthfully with God?   Yes...

Just for today...

"Although my life was full of chaos, it was familiar chaos, which gave me the feeling that I had some control over it. This was an illusion."  Courage to Change (p. 265)

"With my thoughts distorted by fear, despair and resentment, and my nerves overwrought, I could not think clearly nor make wise decisions."  One Day at a Time (p. 265)

"Fearful chaos; Builds shell - Honest love; All's well."
"Fruit born; Tasted sweet - Body grew; Evil defeat."   Am I a Poet?

September 20th - "No Man is an Island"

The story...

Thomas Merton taught me wonderful things that I'd only inklings of before I first read his book: "No Man is an Island."  I agreed with John Bunyan that I needed other people to walk alongside me on our journey to the Celestial city as I read "The Pilgrim's Progress."  C.S. Lewis' "Mere Christianity" offered a rational, and easy to understand, picture of what it means to be a Christian. "The Source," by James Mitchener, broadened my view of this epic story of life that we have a role in.  Most importantly, I learned about who God was when I read the gospel of John during the summer of 1980 - that experience seemed to change my life's course forever.

Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) studied the book of John during the 2023-2024 season - I joined.  Men and women classes walked alongside as they learned, and experienced, God's revelations about: Him, Us, and our future too.  They grew with every reading, lesson, prayer, lecture, and group study.  Oh that He will bring me closer to walk more faithfully, hopefully, and humbly with Him - to be free indeed! 

The author, the Apostle John, is described as Jesus' best friend and the Apostle whom Jesus loved.  We're told John was the only one of the 12 who wasn't martyred for his faith.  He was persecuted for his faith; yet, God protected him.  We can learn soo... much from his letter(s) that he wrote towards the end of a most well-lived life.  Why not pick up your bible today and read more about who God and you are?  He revealed much to the Apostle John throughout his incarnation and as the risen Christ too.  I'm so thankful that John faithfully recorded his revelations.  God doesn't change.

The only church in town will introduce people to God.  They'll preach and teach His revelation about: Himself; creation; Us; how we might live a fruit-bearing life with God in Christ; and the future that'll happen.  What they learn and experience will likely lead them to praise, worship, and serve.  They'll learn that the best place to work out life is within the will of God.  His will will be worked out with you or without you.  They'll learn that the best condition is to be safe within the hands of God in Christ.

Just for today...

"The surest plan to make a Man is: Think him so."  James R. Lowell

"I was confident and capable. They all seemed to be whiners or perfectionists . . . As confident and capable as I was, I was afraid to speak up and ask for help . . . Her voice trembled as she admitted she desperately needed . . .  but was afraid to ask anyone. She began to cry. Another member passed a box of tissues, and as I took the box in my hands, I realized that the frightened voice was my own . . . The same people I had once looked down upon now appeared to me as angels."  Hope for Today (p. 264)

"Need shared; Soul felt - Love heals; Rose buds."    Am I a Poet?

September 19th - Hurt and Resentment or...

The story...

I wanted something from my dad that he couldn't give me.  Did he tell me that it was his to offer or did I just assume he could?  He engaged with my older brother in ways he didn't do with me -  maybe there was something deficient in me?  I assumed that he was a "good" moral person because he did good stuff, was an upstanding member of the community, went to church, and served multiple roles in church and community too.  His personality and gifts were different than mine and I couldn't be much like him no matter how hard I tried.  So, what did I want from him that he couldn't give?  He did give me much.

I'd like to have known what a good life looked like and that I was worthy, capable and had the power to live one out.  I'd like to have been okay with me and my unique: capabilities, talents and personality.  People of the world seemed to challenge my worth.

These guys said I had the power - I don't think they had it to give.

My dad was a good man and good dad - he helped me much and did the best he could with what he had.  I wanted a close relationship with God, my dad, with a few close friends, with my family, and eventually alongside a life partner and community too - these relationships were illusive for me. I'm so thankful for those relationships I have now.

The relationships that we need might be found within the only church in town.  Yes, you are likely to find the personalities, giftedness, and skills that you need there.   God loves those who are His and He's got the power.

Just for today...

"I thought that resentment would prevent me from ever being hurt again . . . living my life under the heavy burdens of rage and resentment were hurting me . . . I experienced a spiritual awakening in the form of a deep desire to let go of those feelings that were poisoning my life . . . I gave up my bitterness and regained my life."  Hope for Today (p. 263)

"Hurt and guilt; Stuffed away - Rear their head; Unexpected way."
"Confess and forgive; Be truer me - Freer to love; Authentically be."   Am I a Poet?

September 18th - Authentic within community

The story...

My four siblings and I lived closely together.  Each family member seemed to provide something that others lacked.  Some took on a role that partly filled a group need: Planner, Encourager, Tester, Teacher, Story Teller, Helper, Organizer, Server, Project Leader, Decision Maker, Giver, Doer etc.  Maybe that means we were a bit dysfunctional when one of the family members was gone for a period of time.  I expect that we each flexed our style in order to recover some of the lost value of our missing sibling.  It's frustrating to see siblings compare each other to evaluate who is the "best" or to try to fulfill a "best" image that the family's conjured up.  It seems better to appreciate the value of the "we" and enjoy each other - gifted as they are.  It's a good thing to be okay with who you are.  This state of being authentic seems like a sound foundation for continual growth within the "good life."

It would be a shame if there was a family code that drove all members to live, think and act in similar ways according to a "best" standard.  "If I could just fix _____ then I'd be okay" - ugh.

People new to the only church in town would learn about the Body of Christ.  There, they may appreciate unique characteristics - those talents and gifts form God's called out people according to His will (1 Corinthians 12).  Each person would be valued and offered the opportunity to engage in the church community.  The church would be a place where people serve their role in something bigger and better than any one person could possibly do or be.

Just for today...

"Too often my memory has given me sadness, bringing back past hurt and shame. But now I can use my memory to see the progress I have made and to know the joy of gratitude."  Courage to Change (p. 262)

"Wanna be liked; Mostly loved - Safe from fear; Part of whole."   Am I a Poet?

September 17th - If not now - when?

The story...

I had no plans until about 5:00pm.  My newspaper likely arrived about the same time that it normally did.   The Apple watch gently reminded me that I'd need to stay active to close my stand-move-exercise goals. Financial investments were checked - probably made at least one change.  Looked for changes while walking near my home as I picked up limbs.  I interim fasted so I expect that I greatly enjoyed my lunch.  The to-do list sat next to my recliner and listed the projects that I chose to work on.  I greeted my spouse with love when she walked into the main room - we enjoyed each other's company.  There was time to work out and enjoy my relationships that day.  The relationships were most important: God; close friends, spouse; family; neighbors; acquaintances; and all those who I met. 

What might I change today to improve those relationships and our lives?  For me, I'd more fully rest within my relationship with God in Christ - the veil of sin dropped to be more sensitive to the Spirit of God's presence and workings.  The day would include prayer and meditation - centering on fundamental truths and actualities.  I'd be more aware of what's actually going on while my heart (inner-man) praises God with thankfulness.  I'd live more hopeful with all peace and joy (Romans 15:13).

The only church in town will be a place where everyone, in most stages of life, will be welcome.  There'll be customs, rules, habits and expectations that'll be agreed to; yet, they'll not be a burden.  They'll promote a growth environment and aim towards the good life - secure in Christ.

Just for today...

"I had to find a positive behavior to replace the fretting. Today if I catch myself worrying, I write down my specific fears, no matter how preposterous they may seem. Once I get them out of my mind and fix them on paper, I ask God to show me which ones are real and which are imagined."  Hope for Today (p. 261)

"I do have a power, a God-given one, and that is power over my own mind, emotions and reactions. If I exercise that power wisely, the problems outside of me will work out without my interference."  One Day at a Time (p. 261)

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now - when?"   Rabbi Hillel (Pirkei Avot 1:14)

"Pirkei Avot, which translates to English as Chapters of the Fathers, is a compilation of the ethical teachings and maxims from Rabbinic Jewish tradition."   Wikipedia

"Utter once; Helpful advice - Repeat again; Manipulative device."
"I think best; Pry to bend - Like little god; Sure to offend."
"Let 'em be; Who they are - Grow to be; Travel far."   Am I a Poet?

September 16th - Worry = Imagined fears worked into reality?

The story...

I'm tagging along with my mother as she shopped at the Fareway Grocery store.  She wasn't one to quickly fulfill our wants so we walked past the bins of penny candy without discussion.  One day, I willed to stuff a piece of candy into my pocket.  I saw the mirrors on the walls and knew that there was a risk that I'd be caught - I just did it.  I must have been sweating when I waited in the checkout line - I know that I fretted over the decision for days or longer.  I don't know how I resolved the moral dilemma - maybe I never did.  

How does a 4-year old boy resist?

I can remember this theft over sixty years later so it must have been an important "incident" on my mental record of who I am.  Am I good or bad?  Did I return it and toss it back into the bin?  Did I offer to pay the one cent?  Did I confess the sin and ask for forgiveness?  Did I try to do more good stuff to outweigh my failure?  Did I just push my misdeed out of my consciousness and stuff it within the recesses of my mind?

I believe this incident occurred before I accepted an invitation to trust God's great work in Christ.  Being right with God, empowered me to walk more humbly and rightly with Him.  What might I've done had I stole the candy after I accepted God's provision for my sin?  Would I have confessed this known sin in my prayers, thanked Him for forgiving me for my sin through Christ, and restored the most important relationship that sin can cloud?  I do know that God knows our hearts better than we do and that no man is good - scripture says so.  His will works out with or without me.  I'm so thankful that God loves me in Christ - I'm walking through life with Him.  Man that's good news.

The only church in town will be the place where you can hear the real good news.  It's a place to worship God together.  It's a place to learn about Him, His revealed Word, us, the future, and true love too.  It's a place to develop the relationships that seem to be a big part of the recipe for our "good" life.  No need to fear and worry that fear into a bad reality.  

Why not trust God and actually live out a good-to-great life secure within His will?  If you will that too, then why not engage in that church in your town?

Just for today...

"They plead the worst case scenario in a very convincing way, until it almost seems frivolous to consider a positive outcome.  Yet the loudest voice is not necessarily the truest." Courage to Change (p. 260)

"Let me not force my own certainties on others. I could be wrong. A generous tolerance can smooth out many rough places in my day-to-day living." One Day at a Time (p. 260)

"What might be?; This or that? - He's got all; Abide with Him."   Am I a Poet?

September 15th - What if I don't react?

The story...

"When somebody engages you in an emotional interaction that's fueling painful reactions - drop the rope - quit playing tug of war."  I remember hearing this advice and contemplating the potential value.  Refuse to play in arguments and emotional bondage exchanges - drop the rope and diffuse the virtual tug of war.  I applied this wisdom for a few weeks and I was surprised how often I'd been falling into the trap of debating opinions and arguing against another person's perspective, life view, or opinion.  Alternatively, I could demonstrate respect for the other person by listening to and seeking to understand them - I didn't have to agree or disagree with them.  I could show love and respect for me while allowing them to be who they were - relationship might actually grow.

Three Mile island - Reactor meltdown

Even if you believe you won the argument, the old adage remains: "Convince me against my will and I will be of the same opinion still."   People within the only church in town will frequently be at different stages of their life and faith - I hope that they'll be gifted with hope, peace, and grace along the way.

Just for today...

"Some of us have a constant drive to do something about everything that happens, everything that someone says to us . . . When I react, I put the control of my peace of mind in the hand of others."  One Day at a Time (p. 259)

"Nothing is good or bad, it is thinking that makes it so."  William Shakespeare

September 14th - Painful life lessons - pearls or thorns?

The story...

"You're going to have foot surgery on both of your feet?  That's great, you'll be in a wheelchair and bring light on all the handicap access limitations within our facilities.  Why not do the wheelchair option and indirectly help others along the way?"   I accepted the surgery one foot at a time - traded the concept of a wheelchair with the reality of crutches.  My struggles with crutches did require receiving help, possibly love too, from others; but, I didn't expose the handicap limitations some hoped for.

I remember standing in the snow, on my crutches, trying to work the entry card reader.  My bag dangled from my shoulder as I attempted to open the door - I couldn't do it.   I waited for another early bird to arrive and open it for me.  I needed help.  The experience was real good for me - it taught me to be both less self reliant and to receive kindness along the way.  I moved from mostly independent to more interdependent.  The suffering was good and I was "lucky" enough to repeat the process twice.

So, the painful experience was actually like a valuable pearl to me.  So, why do I maneuver to avoid suffering today?  We know why.   Even so, I will to remain thankful in all circumstances and be thankful for God's provision for today, tomorrow, and for all eternity too.

Those who choose to be a member of the only church in town will recognize the value of working out their life trusting in God's provision.  They'll enjoy loving relationships with others along the way too.  Yes, they'll receive His love while abiding with Him in Christ - "abba" father!

Just for today...

"The lessons were too painful - I would get excited about something, only to have my hopes shattered. As time passed and hope diminished, I fell deeper into despair. Eventually I shut down my feelings and refused to care or to hope for anything at all . . . It is risky to care - I may be disappointed. But in trying to protect myself from pain, I could cut  myself off from the many delights that life has to offer. I will live more fully today."   Courage to Change (p. 258)

"Christ the Vine; His branch out - Suffering trims, Fruit born anew."   Am I a Poet?

September 13th - What do I truly fear?

The story...

The surgeon showed me my spinal x-ray.  "Your spondylolisthesis between your L4 and L5 vertebrae is pinching that bundle of nerves which is causing pain in both your back and your lower extremities.  The surgery will align the two with metal rods and the impingements will be removed - of course there are risks."  Life wasn't doable; opted for the surgery; suffered through complications; eventual positive outcome - fears alleviated.

I don't characterize myself as a fearful person but I fear some things.  The sum of my fears seem to fit within the following seven categories:

1. Changes within the "game of life" requiring adaptation
2. Living outside the will of God
3. Loneliness
4. Loss of loving relationships
5. Loss of security for me or those I love
6. Loss of freedom
7. Rejection

The only church in town will shine the light of God's revealed Word on our reality.  Even if the causes of our fears remain; bright solutions are attenable and available.

Just for today...

"God grant me the wisdom to recognize the faults I am building into a wall, such a wall as cannot be penetrated even by love."  One Day at a Time (p. 257)

"Why does a dog bark? I feel terror when I'm on the receiving end of ferocious barking. I suspect that a dog barks because of his own fear. If the dog really wanted to attack, he'd dispense with the barking and lunge for me."  Hope for Today (p. 257)

"Fear it; Meet that - Act safe; Bide time."
"Waste days; Waste nights - Tryin ceased; Grafted in."
"Free from me; Tyrannical past -  Free to be; Home at last."    Am I a Poet?