September 27th - Worth fretting over?

The story...

The virus symptoms lasted for 2.5 weeks.  Since it persisted past the two-week limit, I called my primary-care doctor.  He likely wouldn't be able to identify the virus.   Maybe he'd prescribe an anti-viral drug to boost my immune system.  Since I had only a basic understanding of immune systems, I listened to three related YouTube introductory videos.  I learned related: facts, principals; and some of my misunderstandings.

He listened to my symptoms and physically inspected me - an intern with him repeated some of the checks.  He asked for two blood samples to both check my immune system and to search for wasted muscle.  He'd an idea of what it might be but didn't tell me.  My blood was drawn at 3:30pm 9/01/2023.

Four days later, I was hoping to get the blood test results.  These data were to help my doctor prescribe a course of action to better my body and life.  I speculated much over those three days - knew in part but would soon have answers.

The virus continued on, I visited my primary physician once again and he asked for more blood tests.  The specific virus was never really known - the symptoms faded a way over a few weeks.

Suffering will be found within the only church in town; but, it won't be their focus.  Suffering may even be "gifted" to draw us closer to God and "bear" more fruit (John 15:1-12).  The church body will focus on the truth of God's good news and the blessings from living out every day in the "Light" of revealed truth and the presence of God.

Just for today...

"If my life has become unmanageable, how can I get control of it? Am I being forced into doing things I don't want to do, like losing my temper, contriving, conniving and scheming to make things work out the way I want them?"  One Day at a Time (p. 271)

"If thou canst not make thyself such a one as thou wouldst, how canst thou expect to have another according to thy liking?"  Thomas Kempis - The Imitation of Christ

"If I knew what was coming, I suspect that I would spend all my time trying to run from painful experiences instead of living. I would miss out on so much great stuff." Courage to Change (p. 271)

"Suffering settled; Hung o'er me - No satisfaction; Turned to Thee."
"Needy and broken; Trusted Him for - Habits replaced; Heart loves more."   Am I a Poet?

September 26th - There's me, us, and you - me is me, we are we, and you are you.

The story...

We were sitting on the porch talking about two mutual friends.  One of them delivered clear feedback to the other and set up a new personal boundary to protect their friendship. My friend commented that friends do give specific personal feedback when they have to: "that's what friends do."  The next day I delivered specific personal feedback to the friend who said they valued openess - they reacted negatively and defensively.  The message was difficult to deliver.  It was hard for them to receive or even acknowledge.  The exchange was difficult, uncomfortable; but, I think it worked out best.

Maybe good friends tell their friend their perceived truth once - not nagging or trying to persuade.  Should friends focus on the relationship and not on reforming or reframing each others minds or souls?  I think my friends feel safe enough to share their mind and soul, as they will to, while we respect each other's "space."  I'm okay with them just as they are - that's a strong foundation to build on and to grow from too.  Friends grow together.

The only church in town would be a place where people might find truer friends who they can grow together with.  Everyone would have at least one "good" friend to walk side by side with along their journey towards the celestial city.

Just for today...

"Smugness is the very worst sin of all, I believe. It is difficult for a shaft of light to pierce the armor of self-righteousness. Many of the things I thought I did unselfishly turned out to be pure rationalizations to get my own way about something."  One Day at a Time (p. 270)

"At our wedding ceremony, the minister said, '... and the two shall become one,' and we did, 'We' became 'him.'"  Hope for Today (p. 270)

"Your soul's yours; Wonderfully you - My soul's mine; Respectfully true."
"We have stuff; Our bounded story - Built and tilled; To His glory."   Am I a Poet?

September 25th - What lasts?

The story...

More than 50 years later, I still have a coloring project that I made in third grade.  I colored, many colors, all over a piece of crepe paper and covered the whole thing in black - I scraped off the black to expose an image of a horse.  I've also kept a few pieces of clothing that I owned before I was married.  The house that I grew up in still exists even though it's eroded to a shadow of what I once believed it to be.  I worked at a manufacturing organization for over 20 years and must've created and signed thousands of documents - It's likely that those document are all either replaced, deleted, or at best archived.  It's true that nothing stays the same and that there'll likely be little evidence that we ever existed in the not too distant future.

Martin Luther has a famous quote that I value: "I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God's hands, that I still possess."   My hands are touching a keyboard as I type - it's a helpful tool that allows me to create, understand, be, and communicate; yet, that too will go away some day.  

I actually painted this...

He's got the whole world in His hands.  He will work His will out with our without you.  Why not trust Him and bear the fruit that only He can give - it's the stuff that'll last and multiply.

The only church in town will teach about: how to trust God's revealed truth; our relationship as Creator and creature; our relationship potential; and future events that'll impact us and our world too.  We can trust our good Father with our: problems; concerns; people whom we love; and all eternity too.

Just for today...

"My parents are due to visit. Nothing promotes my relapse into compulsive, controlling behavior better than the anticipation of their judgement . . . Each time I doubt that my God knows the way, I'll remember how chaotic and complicated my life becomes when I try to take control."  Hope for Today (p. 269)

"Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life, And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever."   Psalm 23:6

"Friends listen; Neighbors see - Spirit of Christ; Abides in thee."   Am I a Poet?

September 24th - Walking emotionally, mentally, and spiritually well

The story...

Walks in the woods are important to me.  There're few man-made objects to be seen.  There're sounds of: creatures; the wind; rustling leaves; and your feet stamping stuff.  You feel the wind in your hair.  The bumps in the path push through the soles of your shoes sending signals through calloused feet.  You smell green plants and the decaying too.  You won't taste much; but, do taste some.  Yes, we can sense more while living in the present.

When on a walk, I'm capable of drifting back to an unresolved scenario from my past - often thinking about my role, what I did, and what I might've done.  I've learned to decide what's true about the past situation and to "dispatch" the history before it turns into obsessive thinking and depression.  Often the thoughts end well with me accepting reality and trusting God's resolution.

While walking, I might entertain expectations and future plans.  Although a worthy time investment, "future think" can turn into unproductive obsessive thinking.  It's not hard to begin imagining what might go wrong and ignite fear.  I don't want to view the future pessimistically nor walk into my future unprepared.

You know these guys...

It seems good to invest half of my walking time living more fully in the present - experiencing senses, feelings, and more "tuned into" my spirit and the presence of God.  Most often this state's not a thinking thing.  It's a peaceful and restful place to be - mind at rest, sensing what's going on, and looking forward to what's up around the path's bend.  Encounters with other hikers seem better too when I am walking more peacefully in the present - better connected within community.  When the hike's finished, I feel senses of accomplishment, restfulness, and connectedness with my whole self, others and God too - more okay and loved.

What happens when we don't experience love for an extended period of time?  Might we fail to engage in life or even to experience emotions?  I've heard stories of ignored-orphanage babies who stopped crying - they seem to've realized that there was nobody there to comfort them - expectations of love dashed.  The only church in town's a place to learn about what God's revealed about Himself, us, and answers to the future. The church is a place for experiencing the love of God and real reasons for being okay with you.  I want to be present where there are loving relationships - living within the grace of God.

Just for today...

"What would happen if we stopped blaming anyone for anything? We would experience miracles of tolerance and grace - rich spiritual rewards, reflected in a life of real fulfillment."  One Day at a Time (p. 268)

"...I suffered from the disease in the form of emotional sickness and spiritual starvation . . . When I could not do another thing for myself . . . God wrapped me in protective care and began to teach me that I am worthy of joy and serenity . . . God's grace is doing for us what we cannot do for ourselves."  Hope for Today (p. 268)

"They're bad; I'm sure - Mirror speaks; Me too."
"We're selfish; Ego builders - Polished idols; Tyrannical rule."
"Died self; Born again - Loved true; Forever His."     Am I a Poet?

September 23rd - They repeatedly cut me off - like sticking fingers in their ears

The story...

I recently attended an event with a group of people who I haven't met with for a few years.  As we worked out the socially acceptable conversation, it seemed they didn't want to hear my perspective, ideas, or story.  The frequent interruptions seemed to validate my take on this "group thing" - it appeared that I was violating their norms, values, and unwritten code of acceptable behavior.  It was almost as though the scene was an act in a play where we were to act out our assigned roles. The "play" must go on as it has in the past.  Maybe the group was saying: "We've been just fine and dandy and we will not allow you to disrupt our patterns with your big, idealistic, ideas of how we might be better off according to you."  They weren't wrong, I didn't want to be an actor in that play and I don't want to journey down their accepted path that seems to lead to something less than what I hope for.

I did deliver my messaging, although frequently interrupted, without overtly challenging what seemed to be rude and disrespectful behavior on their parts.  I felt rejected by the group and experienced feelings that might've propelled me to quickly react in disrespectful ways - I'm thankful that I showed respect and didn't react negatively.  I don't have to accept future invitations to return.

The only church in town will first love, through the power of God, and then preach the Word of God with power.  His Word will frequently conflict with the reality of how congregants are behaving and acting out their lives within this "bent" world.  People will be free to work out their faith in reality amongst fellow co-sojourners and within the power of God.  They may even develop close friends with whom they may grow side-by-side.

Just for today...

"One of my character defects is to respond in kind to behavior that is directed to me - to react to insults with more insults, to rudeness with rudeness . . .  If I am always reacting then I am never free."  Courage to Change (p. 267)

"I will not try to outwit or outmaneuver anyone else, but will proceed quietly to live my life so I will have less reason for self-reproach. I will withdraw my mind from what others do, and think of what I am doing. I will not react to challenging words and actions."  One Day at a Time (p. 267)

"When you are offended at any man's fault, turn to yourself and study your own failings. Then you will forget your anger."  Epictetus

September 22nd - Pilgrim's Progress - The 1678 Christian Life Allegory

The story...

"If you're in another frustrating emotional exchange - drop the tug-of-war rope."  I remember hearing about this "tool" from another person who described it as one she used on her journey to becoming a better person.  She recalled feeling worthy of being loved and able to more fully love others too.  "Dropping the rope" seemed easy to do so I "tried it on" for a few days - the results were real good.  I shared my exuberance for the "tool" application at our next meeting.  I  was ready to "try on" more live-giving ways of living alongside me new friends.  As we listened and shared, our lives began to grow together - we seemed to be walking side-by-side as fellow sojourners towards the "Celestial City" - enjoying each other's company along the way.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The Pilgrims Progress

The only church in town will offer, those who might read Pilgrim's Progress, a better understanding of our life journey towards that celestial city.  The church will offer fellow pilgrims God's revelation about Him, faith, hope, peace, love, joy, who we are, our future, and sustenance for our most adventurous-life journey.

Just for today...

"It's a wonderful opportunity to practice giving unconditional love and support by simply listening.  Many of us hear stories that are similar to our own; others can often identify with the feelings that are expressed. Perhaps we will be reminded of where we have been and how far we have come."  Courage to Change (p. 266)

"Worrying about trifles saps my spiritual energy which I could certainly put to better use. Am I willing to waste my life in this way? . . . I will not be made uneasy by what others do, whether they intend to hurt me or not. I will not clutter up my thoughts with resentment; it would not profit me, worse it would hurt me."  One Day at a Time (p. 266)

"Sometimes I'm afraid I'll have to separate from my family members to maintain my quest for healthy living, especially when they deny and justify their unacceptable behavior . . . I am slowly learning that trying to change someone else's behavior to suit my needs is an exercise in futility and frustration. Truly profound power and peace lie in the ability to change my behavior to suit my needs . . . I can accept people as they are."  Hope for Today (p. 266)

"Seven people; Gifted lives - Family formed; Wholly abide."
"Sin separates; Drifts apart - Love lost; Isolated hurt."
"One's saved; Shares faith - Other's believe; God's work."   Am I a Poet?

September 21st - When you find yourself in a hole - quit digging.

The story...

I was waiting in a McDonalds line on the way back from a trip where I was less than a team player.  For whatever reasons, I resented efforts from other people to bend my plans for our two-family trip.  Surely I knew that others had different expectations, perceptions, needs and wants; yet, I seemed to think I knew best for everyone.  I was frustrated with everything about that restaurant and the people who were there too.  It was bad enough that I remember thinking - "this is not okay, you need to be different."  Something had to change - I remember waiting in the line and pondering the situation - it must have been an impactful life moment.  "There's got to be a better way."

How do we know when we're not acting or thinking as a whole person - missing something that we need to make wise decisions?  We might: think wrongly; act selfishly; resent what others do or seem to be; remain ignorant; isolate from compadres; try to prevent wounds; please people; be co-dependent; or choose to be bad.  As if those reasons aren't enough to pause before acting, the acronym HALT comes to mind - pause if you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.

The only church in town can offer a true message of hope, peace, and joy (Romans 15:13).   Might a good life be characterized as walking more humbly, honestly and truthfully with God?   Yes...

Just for today...

"Although my life was full of chaos, it was familiar chaos, which gave me the feeling that I had some control over it. This was an illusion."  Courage to Change (p. 265)

"With my thoughts distorted by fear, despair and resentment, and my nerves overwrought, I could not think clearly nor make wise decisions."  One Day at a Time (p. 265)

"Fearful chaos; Builds shell - Honest love; All's well."
"Fruit born; Tasted sweet - Body grew; Evil defeat."   Am I a Poet?

September 20th - "No Man is an Island"

The story...

Thomas Merton taught me wonderful things that I'd only inklings of before I first read his book: "No Man is an Island."  I agreed with John Bunyan that I needed other people to walk alongside me on our journey to the Celestial city as I read "The Pilgrim's Progress."  C.S. Lewis' "Mere Christianity" offered a rational, and easy to understand, picture of what it means to be a Christian. "The Source," by James Mitchener, broadened my view of this epic story of life that we have a role in.  Most importantly, I learned about who God was when I read the gospel of John during the summer of 1980 - that experience seemed to change my life's course forever.

Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) studied the book of John during the 2023-2024 season - I joined.  Men and women classes walked alongside as they learned, and experienced, God's revelations about: Him, Us, and our future too.  They grew with every reading, lesson, prayer, lecture, and group study.  Oh that He will bring me closer to walk more faithfully, hopefully, and humbly with Him - to be free indeed! 

The author, the Apostle John, is described as Jesus' best friend and the Apostle whom Jesus loved.  We're told John was the only one of the 12 who wasn't martyred for his faith.  He was persecuted for his faith; yet, God protected him.  We can learn soo... much from his letter(s) that he wrote towards the end of a most well-lived life.  Why not pick up your bible today and read more about who God and you are?  He revealed much to the Apostle John throughout his incarnation and as the risen Christ too.  I'm so thankful that John faithfully recorded his revelations.  God doesn't change.

The only church in town will introduce people to God.  They'll preach and teach His revelation about: Himself; creation; Us; how we might live a fruit-bearing life with God in Christ; and the future that'll happen.  What they learn and experience will likely lead them to praise, worship, and serve.  They'll learn that the best place to work out life is within the will of God.  His will will be worked out with you or without you.  They'll learn that the best condition is to be safe within the hands of God in Christ.

Just for today...

"The surest plan to make a Man is: Think him so."  James R. Lowell

"I was confident and capable. They all seemed to be whiners or perfectionists . . . As confident and capable as I was, I was afraid to speak up and ask for help . . . Her voice trembled as she admitted she desperately needed . . .  but was afraid to ask anyone. She began to cry. Another member passed a box of tissues, and as I took the box in my hands, I realized that the frightened voice was my own . . . The same people I had once looked down upon now appeared to me as angels."  Hope for Today (p. 264)

"Need shared; Soul felt - Love heals; Rose buds."    Am I a Poet?

September 19th - Hurt and Resentment or...

The story...

I wanted something from my dad that he couldn't give me.  Did he tell me that it was his to offer or did I just assume he could?  He engaged with my older brother in ways he didn't do with me -  maybe there was something deficient in me?  I assumed that he was a "good" moral person because he did good stuff, was an upstanding member of the community, went to church, and served multiple roles in church and community too.  His personality and gifts were different than mine and I couldn't be much like him no matter how hard I tried.  So, what did I want from him that he couldn't give?  He did give me much.

I'd like to have known what a good life looked like and that I was worthy, capable and had the power to live one out.  I'd like to have been okay with me and my unique: capabilities, talents and personality.  People of the world seemed to challenge my worth.

These guys said I had the power - I don't think they had it to give.

My dad was a good man and good dad - he helped me much and did the best he could with what he had.  I wanted a close relationship with God, my dad, with a few close friends, with my family, and eventually alongside a life partner and community too - these relationships were illusive for me. I'm so thankful for those relationships I have now.

The relationships that we need might be found within the only church in town.  Yes, you are likely to find the personalities, giftedness, and skills that you need there.   God loves those who are His and He's got the power.

Just for today...

"I thought that resentment would prevent me from ever being hurt again . . . living my life under the heavy burdens of rage and resentment were hurting me . . . I experienced a spiritual awakening in the form of a deep desire to let go of those feelings that were poisoning my life . . . I gave up my bitterness and regained my life."  Hope for Today (p. 263)

"Hurt and guilt; Stuffed away - Rear their head; Unexpected way."
"Confess and forgive; Be truer me - Freer to love; Authentically be."   Am I a Poet?

September 18th - Authentic within community

The story...

My four siblings and I lived closely together.  Each family member seemed to provide something that others lacked.  Some took on a role that partly filled a group need: Planner, Encourager, Tester, Teacher, Story Teller, Helper, Organizer, Server, Project Leader, Decision Maker, Giver, Doer etc.  Maybe that means we were a bit dysfunctional when one of the family members was gone for a period of time.  I expect that we each flexed our style in order to recover some of the lost value of our missing sibling.  It's frustrating to see siblings compare each other to evaluate who is the "best" or to try to fulfill a "best" image that the family's conjured up.  It seems better to appreciate the value of the "we" and enjoy each other - gifted as they are.  It's a good thing to be okay with who you are.  This state of being authentic seems like a sound foundation for continual growth within the "good life."

It would be a shame if there was a family code that drove all members to live, think and act in similar ways according to a "best" standard.  "If I could just fix _____ then I'd be okay" - ugh.

People new to the only church in town would learn about the Body of Christ.  There, they may appreciate unique characteristics - those talents and gifts form God's called out people according to His will (1 Corinthians 12).  Each person would be valued and offered the opportunity to engage in the church community.  The church would be a place where people serve their role in something bigger and better than any one person could possibly do or be.

Just for today...

"Too often my memory has given me sadness, bringing back past hurt and shame. But now I can use my memory to see the progress I have made and to know the joy of gratitude."  Courage to Change (p. 262)

"Wanna be liked; Mostly loved - Safe from fear; Part of whole."   Am I a Poet?

September 17th - If not now - when?

The story...

I had no plans until about 5:00pm.  My newspaper likely arrived about the same time that it normally did.   The Apple watch gently reminded me that I'd need to stay active to close my stand-move-exercise goals. Financial investments were checked - probably made at least one change.  Looked for changes while walking near my home as I picked up limbs.  I interim fasted so I expect that I greatly enjoyed my lunch.  The to-do list sat next to my recliner and listed the projects that I chose to work on.  I greeted my spouse with love when she walked into the main room - we enjoyed each other's company.  There was time to work out and enjoy my relationships that day.  The relationships were most important: God; close friends, spouse; family; neighbors; acquaintances; and all those who I met. 

What might I change today to improve those relationships and our lives?  For me, I'd more fully rest within my relationship with God in Christ - the veil of sin dropped to be more sensitive to the Spirit of God's presence and workings.  The day would include prayer and meditation - centering on fundamental truths and actualities.  I'd be more aware of what's actually going on while my heart (inner-man) praises God with thankfulness.  I'd live more hopeful with all peace and joy (Romans 15:13).

The only church in town will be a place where everyone, in most stages of life, will be welcome.  There'll be customs, rules, habits and expectations that'll be agreed to; yet, they'll not be a burden.  They'll promote a growth environment and aim towards the good life - secure in Christ.

Just for today...

"I had to find a positive behavior to replace the fretting. Today if I catch myself worrying, I write down my specific fears, no matter how preposterous they may seem. Once I get them out of my mind and fix them on paper, I ask God to show me which ones are real and which are imagined."  Hope for Today (p. 261)

"I do have a power, a God-given one, and that is power over my own mind, emotions and reactions. If I exercise that power wisely, the problems outside of me will work out without my interference."  One Day at a Time (p. 261)

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now - when?"   Rabbi Hillel (Pirkei Avot 1:14)

"Pirkei Avot, which translates to English as Chapters of the Fathers, is a compilation of the ethical teachings and maxims from Rabbinic Jewish tradition."   Wikipedia

"Utter once; Helpful advice - Repeat again; Manipulative device."
"I think best; Pry to bend - Like little god; Sure to offend."
"Let 'em be; Who they are - Grow to be; Travel far."   Am I a Poet?

September 16th - Worry = Imagined fears worked into reality?

The story...

I'm tagging along with my mother as she shopped at the Fareway Grocery store.  She wasn't one to quickly fulfill our wants so we walked past the bins of penny candy without discussion.  One day, I willed to stuff a piece of candy into my pocket.  I saw the mirrors on the walls and knew that there was a risk that I'd be caught - I just did it.  I must have been sweating when I waited in the checkout line - I know that I fretted over the decision for days or longer.  I don't know how I resolved the moral dilemma - maybe I never did.  

How does a 4-year old boy resist?

I can remember this theft over sixty years later so it must have been an important "incident" on my mental record of who I am.  Am I good or bad?  Did I return it and toss it back into the bin?  Did I offer to pay the one cent?  Did I confess the sin and ask for forgiveness?  Did I try to do more good stuff to outweigh my failure?  Did I just push my misdeed out of my consciousness and stuff it within the recesses of my mind?

I believe this incident occurred before I accepted an invitation to trust God's great work in Christ.  Being right with God, empowered me to walk more humbly and rightly with Him.  What might I've done had I stole the candy after I accepted God's provision for my sin?  Would I have confessed this known sin in my prayers, thanked Him for forgiving me for my sin through Christ, and restored the most important relationship that sin can cloud?  I do know that God knows our hearts better than we do and that no man is good - scripture says so.  His will works out with or without me.  I'm so thankful that God loves me in Christ - I'm walking through life with Him.  Man that's good news.

The only church in town will be the place where you can hear the real good news.  It's a place to worship God together.  It's a place to learn about Him, His revealed Word, us, the future, and true love too.  It's a place to develop the relationships that seem to be a big part of the recipe for our "good" life.  No need to fear and worry that fear into a bad reality.  

Why not trust God and actually live out a good-to-great life secure within His will?  If you will that too, then why not engage in that church in your town?

Just for today...

"They plead the worst case scenario in a very convincing way, until it almost seems frivolous to consider a positive outcome.  Yet the loudest voice is not necessarily the truest." Courage to Change (p. 260)

"Let me not force my own certainties on others. I could be wrong. A generous tolerance can smooth out many rough places in my day-to-day living." One Day at a Time (p. 260)

"What might be?; This or that? - He's got all; Abide with Him."   Am I a Poet?

September 15th - What if I don't react?

The story...

"When somebody engages you in an emotional interaction that's fueling painful reactions - drop the rope - quit playing tug of war."  I remember hearing this advice and contemplating the potential value.  Refuse to play in arguments and emotional bondage exchanges - drop the rope and diffuse the virtual tug of war.  I applied this wisdom for a few weeks and I was surprised how often I'd been falling into the trap of debating opinions and arguing against another person's perspective, life view, or opinion.  Alternatively, I could demonstrate respect for the other person by listening to and seeking to understand them - I didn't have to agree or disagree with them.  I could show love and respect for me while allowing them to be who they were - relationship might actually grow.

Three Mile island - Reactor meltdown

Even if you believe you won the argument, the old adage remains: "Convince me against my will and I will be of the same opinion still."   People within the only church in town will frequently be at different stages of their life and faith - I hope that they'll be gifted with hope, peace, and grace along the way.

Just for today...

"Some of us have a constant drive to do something about everything that happens, everything that someone says to us . . . When I react, I put the control of my peace of mind in the hand of others."  One Day at a Time (p. 259)

"Nothing is good or bad, it is thinking that makes it so."  William Shakespeare

September 14th - Painful life lessons - pearls or thorns?

The story...

"You're going to have foot surgery on both of your feet?  That's great, you'll be in a wheelchair and bring light on all the handicap access limitations within our facilities.  Why not do the wheelchair option and indirectly help others along the way?"   I accepted the surgery one foot at a time - traded the concept of a wheelchair with the reality of crutches.  My struggles with crutches did require receiving help, possibly love too, from others; but, I didn't expose the handicap limitations some hoped for.

I remember standing in the snow, on my crutches, trying to work the entry card reader.  My bag dangled from my shoulder as I attempted to open the door - I couldn't do it.   I waited for another early bird to arrive and open it for me.  I needed help.  The experience was real good for me - it taught me to be both less self reliant and to receive kindness along the way.  I moved from mostly independent to more interdependent.  The suffering was good and I was "lucky" enough to repeat the process twice.

So, the painful experience was actually like a valuable pearl to me.  So, why do I maneuver to avoid suffering today?  We know why.   Even so, I will to remain thankful in all circumstances and be thankful for God's provision for today, tomorrow, and for all eternity too.

Those who choose to be a member of the only church in town will recognize the value of working out their life trusting in God's provision.  They'll enjoy loving relationships with others along the way too.  Yes, they'll receive His love while abiding with Him in Christ - "abba" father!

Just for today...

"The lessons were too painful - I would get excited about something, only to have my hopes shattered. As time passed and hope diminished, I fell deeper into despair. Eventually I shut down my feelings and refused to care or to hope for anything at all . . . It is risky to care - I may be disappointed. But in trying to protect myself from pain, I could cut  myself off from the many delights that life has to offer. I will live more fully today."   Courage to Change (p. 258)

"Christ the Vine; His branch out - Suffering trims, Fruit born anew."   Am I a Poet?

September 13th - What do I truly fear?

The story...

The surgeon showed me my spinal x-ray.  "Your spondylolisthesis between your L4 and L5 vertebrae is pinching that bundle of nerves which is causing pain in both your back and your lower extremities.  The surgery will align the two with metal rods and the impingements will be removed - of course there are risks."  Life wasn't doable; opted for the surgery; suffered through complications; eventual positive outcome - fears alleviated.

I don't characterize myself as a fearful person but I fear some things.  The sum of my fears seem to fit within the following seven categories:

1. Changes within the "game of life" requiring adaptation
2. Living outside the will of God
3. Loneliness
4. Loss of loving relationships
5. Loss of security for me or those I love
6. Loss of freedom
7. Rejection

The only church in town will shine the light of God's revealed Word on our reality.  Even if the causes of our fears remain; bright solutions are attenable and available.

Just for today...

"God grant me the wisdom to recognize the faults I am building into a wall, such a wall as cannot be penetrated even by love."  One Day at a Time (p. 257)

"Why does a dog bark? I feel terror when I'm on the receiving end of ferocious barking. I suspect that a dog barks because of his own fear. If the dog really wanted to attack, he'd dispense with the barking and lunge for me."  Hope for Today (p. 257)

"Fear it; Meet that - Act safe; Bide time."
"Waste days; Waste nights - Tryin ceased; Grafted in."
"Free from me; Tyrannical past -  Free to be; Home at last."    Am I a Poet?

September 12th - "I was just trying to help . . . my intentions were good."

The story...

Bill recommended I attend an AMA, American Management Association, new-manager seminar in Chicago.  I wanted to be and do my best in my new manager role.  What new tools and methods might I learn?  I left the seminar with a small book that included phrases that could be inserted into performance appraisals if you couldn't think of the right message - I don't remember actually using the book although it felt good to have it on hand.

As a manager, I wish that a mentor would've noticed my tendency to get into other people's business.  Sure my intentions were good - I wanted to "help" them to be that "better" more "capable" person that I imagined they could be.  When they had personal trouble, I'd delve into their lives to "better" understand their situation, offer advise, and became involved in their work to "help" them along.  It seemed that I was hoping for a sort of co-dependent relationship where they valued my part in their "growth."

Once, a high-performing engineer, in my group, was going through a personal situation that was significantly affecting his work.  My efforts to intervene, with good intentions, were not working.  A wiser, and more experienced, manager called me out on my "coddling," intrusive, and "Christian like" intervention.  "You aren't helping him, you're enabling him to stay as he is and fail.  Hold him accountable for the results, be available if he needs support, and get out of his way."   The new approach worked and I changed my "management" style thereafter.  I adopted a pattern of giving each person the dignity; respect; needed-support; and freedom to fulfill their roles, responsibilities, and assignments.  The new management behaviors were good, reasonable, more natural, and better results followed.   Some were not successful and moved on to a job or organization that was a better fit.  

I wish I'd have adapted some of those principles within my personal life too.  I eventually did; but it took years for me to habitually offer most people the dignity and respect they needed. They didn't need my "well intentioned" interference.  I no longer concocted and pushed ways for them to be who I thought they "oughta" be - acting like a little god - ugh.

The only church in town would allow people to more honestly live out their lives starting with where they actually are.  Honest relationships would be available to help them work out their lives alongside other people above a foundation of truth. It seems to take people a lotta time to grow - much longer than you'd ever expected.  The only church in town would be a patient, honest, loving, and respectful environment with room to grow.

Just for today...

"She is getting unconscious satisfaction from managing other people's lives, while she imagines her intentions are only good . . . Heaven protect me from my good friends who, with only the best intentions, keep the wounds of my resentment open, weaken me by their pity, an justify my complaints."  One Day at a Time (p. 256)

"Acceptance does not mean submission to a degrading situation. It means accepting the fact of a situation, then deciding what we will do about it . . . I will give myself time to accept my situation before I act." Courage to Change (p. 256)

"Cretan today; Pious tomorrow - Chameleon way; Deflated hope."   Am I Poet?

September 11th - Relationships worth the effort?

The story...

I obsessively thought about a family situation one day - it surprised me because I thought that I had victory over what some might call "stinking thinking."  I felt left out, marginalized, under-valued, and avoided - my concerns and interests ignored.  I began to imagine scenarios that were possible and built them into an imagined reality that made sense - I began to prepare and protect myself according to this new imagined reality.  It turns out, my obsessive thinking was unwarranted.  Two phone calls finally clarified the family behaviors according to a "truer" reality - I now better understood their perceptions and behaviors even though they seemed odd and a tad unreasonable to me.

Would life be better with improved family member relationships?  Yes, but it takes time and requires me to offer them the dignity and respect for being just as they are.  Is it possible to develop a relationship with them without the need to fix, manage, control, change or argue opinions with them?  Yes!

The only church in town will have people who'll perceive the same situation or scenario differently.  Better relationships will improve the situations yet they'll not prevent turmoil.  Might we let them be while still working on building our mutual relationships?  Might they grow in response to good supporting relationships?  Might we actually enjoy and appreciate each person as uniquely gifted? Relationship building is likely more fulfilling then vain attempts to build up, promote, and protect ourselves.

Just for today...

"The word sarcasm comes from a Greek word meaning to tear flesh. 'Wouldn't I feel pretty cheap if I could hear myself being played back? Wouldn't it give me some idea of my part in the family troubles?'"  One Day at a Time (p. 255)

"...when the feeling comes up, I recognize it, share about it, accept that I felt it, and then set it aside. I no longer assume that it has validity . . . Today I will take one of my assumptions about myself and hold it up to the light. I may find that it stems from habit rather than reality." Courage to Change (p. 255)

" Ignored alone; Momma loved we -  Loved a girl; Why couldn't she?"
"Start with me?; Where to begin? - Loving me?; Deal with sin?"
"Honester and Truer; Hearts restore - Peacefully aligned; Christ The core."   Am I a Poet?

September 10th - "Fake it to make it" or "try theirs until it's yours"

The story...

We met a new couple at church and invited them to our home for dinner.  After dinner, we were sitting out on the deck discussing some essentials of the Christian faith.  We were comparing scriptural knowledge with faith worked out in reality - a working relationship with God and others too.  Uncomfortably, I regretfully opened up the subject of "fake it to make it."  Clearly they were not attending this "new" church where some people were faking their Christian faith.   We acknowledged that trying on the Christian faith might be part of a process - a process where our old self sorta dies in order to be reformed as a new sort of creature in Christ.  They moved on to another church not long after our dinner discussion - I hope I didn't discourage their faith.

Faking a belief that you hope is true, so that it might become real, seems wrong.  Yet, wanting to believe what another person believes and then believing that they believe may be first steps of faith for some.

Will the only church in town instruct children to act in a manner that's in accordance with the revealed will of God before they're saved? - yes.  Will non-believers be accepted just as they are and be allowed to act out their role outwardly before they are changed internally? - yes.  Ideally it'd be different but it often ain't.

Just for today...

"Gradually and together we built roots and a pair of wings so I could soar and feel connected at the same time. I borrowed her faith until I acquired my own."  Hope for Today (p. 254)

"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster."  Friedrich Nietzsche

"Acted the part; Hoped it true - God took me; Born anew."   Am I a Poet?

September 9th - Where do I go if I don't need to?

The story...

As a retiree, I've time, resources and capabilities that are ready to go.  The big question is: where do I go if I don't need to go anywhere?  Here's an attempt to list decision criteria that I might use in no particular order.  Will doing it:

• benefit me in the future?
• help me feel better?
• give me something to be proud of?
• help relive my unwanted feelings?
• be with people I'm comfortable being around?
• make me more secure physically or financially?
• give me something to talk about?
• glorify and honor God and His Word?
• help me remember "better" times?
• fulfill my obligations, or promises, to other people?
• occupy my mind so that I won't be thinking, or dwelling on, negative thoughts?
• hurt me or diminish my capabilities?
• help me to love and be loved?
• teach me something new?
• fulfill a latent need or want?

Not surprisingly, only one was not primarily about me - it's highlighted in bold.  Personally, I want to walk through my life journey humbly and justly with God - Micah 6:8.  I say "yes" to a life with choices that leads to a productive and peaceful life where "we" might experience true joy, Romans 15:13.

The only church in town will offer power, peace, rest, and hope amidst all circumstances.  A respite where we might move our focus from ourselves to our Lord and Savior - a loving Father (Abba).

Just for today...

"Am I using my capabilities well? Do I recognize and appreciate all I have to be grateful for? Actually I am the possessor of unlimited resources."  One Day at a Time (p. 253)

"Does my face look calm? Don't be fooled. I'm just afraid to let you see the truth. You might think I'm foolish or weak. You might reject me. So I don't talk, and the pain remains." Courage to Change (p. 253)

"... I don't have to respond to the face of anger. I don't have to explain my motives to an irrational person." Hope for Today (p. 253)

"Respite please; Away from me - Dynamically us; Freely be."   Am I a Poet?

September 8th - "Believe that thou mayest understand."

The story...

One day I heard the good news of the gospel and believed.  Some great other worldly event happened that day - scripture says my name was written in The Book of Life.  Another day, I chose to fully trust God's Word and to drop the doubting inklings that held me back. Thereafter, I walked more closely with God in thought, prayer, quiet meditation, and in awe of His mysterious workings within my life.  I began to live a more thankful, curious, loving, honest, and expectant life.  I became a good character in the greatest story of all time - more rightly walking humbly with God.  Loving the Lord my God with all my heart, mind, and soul.  Loving myself more and my neighbor too - in the presence of God.

Oxford site where Inklings met on Tuesday mornings

The only church in town would not leave new believers, of the Good News, as babes who can't yet chew the meat of God's revealed Word.  They'd share their knowledge, faith, actualities, and more humbly walk through life together with God by faith.

I continue to be in awe of the wonder of creation, life, this day, and this breath.  Please join me in praising God in thankfulness - fully trusting.

Just for today...

"What obstacles block me from tuning over my will and my life to God? In my case, the answer is obvious: I want guarantees. I hold out, thinking that I'll come up with a new solution to my problems even though I've tried and failed, again and again. The risk of faith seems too great. If I turn a situation over, I won't be in control. I can't be sure I'll get my way." Courage to Change (p. 252)

"If I bring sunshine into our home, it cannot fail to affect those in it."  One Day at a Time (p. 252)

“For understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore do not seek to understand in order to believe, but believe that thou mayest understand.”  Saint Augustine, Homilies on the Gospel of John, 29.6, vol. 7, (p. 184)

 "Suffering nights; Heard Him speak - Spirit leapt; Ain't weak."    Am I a Poet?

September 7th - Do you actually "know" the territory?

The story...

A preacher once shared a transformational story with me.  It went like this: He was traveling across country, with two other pastors, as they discussed the difference between people knowing about God and actually enjoying a close fruit-bearing relationship with Him.  He likened the situation to knowing all about London, his home town, yet never actually living or even visiting.  You could know the map or zoom in on Google map images in fine detail.  You may know about key historical events, learn their language, practice their customs, dress like them, and even cook the same food.  Yet, you'd never really know the territory - what it's like to "be" part of a particular London neighborhood.

Pastor Henry Hudson

Most of us have spent a lotta time in classrooms learning about things; memorizing facts; understanding how things relate to each other; and applying some.  We may even feel we've mastered a subject without actually stepping into the territory.  I hope this isn't where people leave their faith journey.

Scripture confirms that God provided a way for His creatures to enjoy an intimate relationship with Him.  The relationship can be so close that we may even refer to Him as daddy - "Abba Father."  Many people hear this truth, understand the possibility, and memorize the verses; yet, they haven't actually experienced the relationship.  

People attending the only church in town might reasonably expect to witness the power of God actually worked out through His people.  They'd hear about ongoing prayer and quiet meditation being a natural part of that relationship.  They'd experience actual fruit of: love, joy, peace, patience. goodness, kindness, gentleness and self control.  Those who walk more honest and humbly with God would more naturally live out the life they've been given.  Yes, the Body of Christ worked out in reality.  Each person witnessing and experiencing faith in God's Word worked out together.

Just for today...

"Eventually I felt more comfortable with my abilities and discovered talents I didn't know I had. I even began to feel capable of doing what was asked of me. Before I realized it, I was the one giving loving guidance. It took some time to see, but I had become a leader."  Hope for Today (p. 251)

"Eye followed; Across the bar - Led another; Went too far."
"Heard wrong;  Recalled fact -  True North; Dropped the act."    Am I a Poet?

September 6th - What's truly important?

The story...

What's really important today?  This blog doesn't contain many lists; yet, this seems like a good place for one.  Here's my plan for being the good man I want to be - in rank order:

1. Pray and be quiet with God - abide with Him.
2. Love the Lord my God and my neighbor as myself.
3. Be conscience of the Holy Spirit's work while remaining grounded in reality.
4. Eat, breathe, and care for my body.
5. Love my wife and grow together.
6. Be joyful, hopeful, peaceful, and bear His fruit - live like in a bountiful deep and calm sea.
7. Love, and receive love from, my church community - the body of Christ.
8. Build on key relationships more than they've naturally declined.
9. Show my neighbors they're respected and loved.
10. Blog within cycles of continuous learning aimed at becoming a better man in Christ.
11. Read to remember truth God's revealed - helps prevent ego from leading me astray.
12. Maintain and grow the assets that I'm entrusted with.

It's easy for me to see other people not acting out their age and life reality.  I hope that I continue to work out the phase of life that I'm actually in and don't cut my life story short.  I want to be a good character, within the epic story of life, who remains faithful to his Creator and Father.

I hope that I'll always remember that my story's only important when worked out within the will of God.  The Holy Spirit indwells me for His biding and I'll be resting in the hands of God after I'm disembodied.  God's promised a new everlasting body designed for all eternity - we only know this through His revealed Word found in scripture.  I hope that each of us stays curious regarding spiritual reality.  Truly, our five senses witness spiritual realities it in a sort of veiled way but He gives His what we need. 

The only church in town would grow Christ ones who live for today, plan for tomorrow, and think on eternity.  They'd learn to live with eternal reality in mind as we journey on this orb for but a few seasons.  One day, our earthly body will breath it's last and our spirit/soul will be carried home.

Just for today...

"...most people spend more time planning vacations than they do thinking about what is really important in their lives . . . Am I so busy with smaller, less meaningful concerns that I run out of time for the really important considerations?"  Courage to Change (p. 250)

"Perhaps I have felt a right and an obligation to set the standards for the family and compel those around me to live up to them . . . Teach me to leave to others their inborn right to dignity and independence, as I wish to have them leave to me."  One Day at a Time (p. 250)

"Focused on me; Lost my way - Heart went cold; Change today?"
"Agreed with God; Strong oak tree - Walking with Him; Abidingly free."   Am I a Poet?  

September 5th - Living in an imaginary reality?

The story...

I loved the idea of the Olympic Games and often imagined competing in my favorite event(s) - decathlon, downhill skiing, biathlon...  I'd be the victorious one who worked hard to overcome all problems and shortcomings to be the best.  "It would be soo... great to win."

It pained me to think that the wait was four years between events.  I do wonder whether the reality of the games was as good as I hoped it would be.  I never actually went to the games and the TV coverage was much more limited then.  Was I living in that imaginary world trying to fulfill latent needs?   I sure enjoyed following: Mark Spitz, Bruce Jenner, Edwin Moses, Eric Heiden, Usain Bolt, Bode Miller, Katie Ledecky...

Pride in Country and dreams of winning in the game of life seemed like positive character traits.  Did they compel me to want to be a better man?  If I couldn't reasonably win, I'd likely live in a more imaginary world where I might.  Was I spending too much of my thought life in an imagined future versus living out the actual day(s) that were mine?  Was I imagining a world that wasn't haunted by the fear of death?

I expect that the only church in town would preach the Good News of how we may be gifted with a life, and the one to follow, walking more humbly and closer with God in Christ.  They would more honestly imagine the future and reflect on the past with gifted insight.  Today is where we can actually live out the miracle of life in the presence of God.

Just for today...

"I'd get so caught up in what I was going to do that I often wasn't aware of what I was doing now . . . I give thanks for the little joys in each day. I still make plans, but I don't let my thoughts erase the present. Anticipation is sweet, but not at the cost of today."  Hope for Today (p. 249)

"The true nature of my problems was my stubborn refusal to acknowledge feelings, to accept them, and to let them go. I have very little power over what feelings arise, but what I choose to do about them is my responsibility. Today I can accept my feelings, share about them with others, recognize they are feelings, not facts, and let them go."  Courage to Change (p. 249)

"Our greatest handicap is self-deception. We cannot recognize in ourselves the faults we criticize in others."  One Day at a Time (p. 249)

"May be; Oh so great - That'd be good; Must wait."
"Today's iffy; Why strive? - Big or little; I'm alive!"    Am I a Poet?

September 4th - Trying to control the uncontrollable?

The story...

What if we had one day per week where we didn't plan anything?   We could choose to: pray; listen; exercise; rest; care for us; or enjoy relationships.  We might: be flexible with our schedules; resist urges to engage in other's business; or live a more joyful, peaceful and hope-filled day.

Some of you might be thinking: "I'd like to choose like that but it's impossible - the other people in my life don't behave like that."  It's possible that a more fruitful life might spill over into the lives of others too - a sort of engine drawing others towards their own good stuff.

How might we better respond when we find ourselves working the opposite by "trying" to control our environment or interactions amongst others?   Do we tend to campaign, or argue, for our opinions to our detriment?  There's a better way.

Harvard Business Review - "How to stop worrying about what other people think."

The only church in town will communicate God's revealed will for creation and for you and me too.  You'll hear there that He'll work out His will with or without you.  He reveals enjoyment for His creatures and the good plans He has for all humanity.  His Son, our Lord and Savior Jesus the Christ, has paid for our trespasses that kept us apart from our holy Creator.  We can live a life walking "righteously" with Him -  it's far better than the losing battle where we "try" to glorify, or protect, ourselves.   Yes, we can be brought close to Him through faith and trust in His great redeeming work - true peace, rest, security, and thankfulness can be ours. 

Just for today...

"I was surprised to find myself still grabbing for old fears as if I wanted to remain in crisis. I realized that I didn't know how to feel safe unless I was mentally busy. When I worried, I felt involved - and therefore somewhat in control."  Courage to Change (p. 248)

"Some of us, after long enduring misfortunes we didn't know how to cope with, reached a breaking point. In our hopelessness we even felt rejected by God, so we never thought of turning to Him for help."  One Day at a Time (p. 248)

"Do you take note when others are sick and offer them the same attention you crave? . . . Let it begin with me."  Hope for Today (p. 248)

"Not seen; Eye caught - We saw; Life taught."   Am I a Poet?