May 15th - Don't Expect Much - You Might be Surprised.

The story...

My wife and I were sitting at a Christian college's freshman-orientation dinner.  I assume that I remembered what actually happened.  The speaker was Joe Stowell - a character of life who I admire.  The actual speaker was Rex M. Rogers.  He shared that one out of ten of their professors were going through a personal crisis.  So, within each school year, there'd likely be at least one professor who wouldn't meet our expectations.  "Please, resist measuring the quality of this institution and it's messaging based on your assessment of the people who work here."  

When I meet people, I likely: sense them, hear them, watch them, listen to them, interact with them, map their characteristics, and compare them to me and others I know.  Then I form a set of expectations for how they're likely to behave.  In my later years of life, I've thankfully minimized a last step of judging them as to whether they are "gooder" or "badder" than I thank they oughta be.

Curious George was my favorite character

When people behave in unexpected ways my interest and emotions are aroused.  I become curious.  I enjoy learning about people as they are as opposed to how "good they might be" if they were closer to my "oughta be" expectations.

I've heard that the course of each person's life was due to their genes, environment, randomness, and a series of reasonable choices.  If it weren't for the "grace of God," I may've wallowed in the same place. 

Surely it's best to have a realistic set of expectations for people's behavior.  Some might say "hope for the best and accept the rest."  To me, it seems better to "don't expect too much and appreciate what you get."  Reality is a good place to live.  

I hope that the only church in town would walk according to God's revealed truth while gracefully loving people as they are.  If not for the grace of God...

Just for today...

 "Nobody but God knows what goes on inside another human being . . . I am not blameless . . . there is much to be changed in me."  One Day at a Time (p. 136)

"I needed to accept that they were operating at the highest level that they could at any given time . . . I accept their right not to change."  Hope for Today (p. 136)

"Don't expect much; They may surprise - Unexpectedly grow; Becoming wise."   Am I a Poet?

May 14th - Step-Function Improvement

The story...

To forecast what might happen in the future, we may look at recent past, expected events, seasonality, changes in the environment etc.  We might even create a mathematical forecasting model that'd be validated by inputting data from the past and checking how it'd have predicted what actually occurred.  We all forecast what we expect to happen in the future - some people tend to see the future as rosier than it likely will be and some overemphasis the negative possibilities.  Forecasting models help us better understand our bias.

A leader gets her group together to set a percent improvement goal for next year.  Say, the individual team members are willing to commit to a 5%, 10%, !0%, and 15% improvement.  The group might therefore decide on a 10% improvement goal - it's the average and most people believe it's doable.  The leader knows that the customers and owners want a 40% improvement.  So, she let's the group know that the goal will be a 40% improvement - a goal that's too big to make enhancements to the current way of doing things.  They need a step-function "big" improvement - significant change.  Management will give them the processes, time, resources, and support to make it happen.

Balance beam w/spring on the end - "it worked!"

The group puts their faith in the leader's commitment to change, the change process, promises of resources, and the principles that go along with it.  The principles include: always meeting customer needs, never rushing, and not staying busy all the time -  there must be time available to fulfill peak demands and to work improvement activities etc.  They PLAN the changes, DO the changes, CHECK to make sure the actual change meets their expectations, and ACT to make the changes permanent - life's better.

The only church in town will tell people that a step-function improvement in their lives can be worked out in reality.  Within the church, there are real-life examples of spiritual maturity with "skin on them."  They might witness relationships worked according to God's revealed plan for the "good life."  Each person grows at their own pace and the group grows too.  Step-function change happening when people fully trust God - it's the power of God.

Just for today...

"First I dream. Then I do. Then I detach and let God determine the outcome."  Hope for Today (p. 135)

"Just when we reach the end of our patience, a doorway seems to open and we take a huge leap forward."  Courage to Change (p. 135)

"Expected that; Got this - Learned anew; Planned bliss."
"Endless cycles; Rollercoaster ride - God saved me; On His side."   Am I a Poet?

May 13th - With Him or Without Him?

The story...

I was once the guy, from out of town, who entered a manufacturing organizations to work out the change to meet their business plan.  One organization leader reassuringly told me: "You have the easiest job.  You can't fail.  All you have to do is find the solution that our organization believes will work.  You bring the resource requests and roadblocks to me.  I'll either accept or reject the path you're considering.  I do the heavy lifting.  We'll win because I'm behind you and I've got the power.  Keep me informed on where you're going."

A 5-lb. hammer changes things... "My Persuader"

Similarly, yet very differently, God's got the Power to work out His will either with me or without me.  Like the leader, keep Him informed and listen to His business plan.  Rest assured that He'll use you, likely in unexpected ways, according to His will and power.  Scripture says that He often chooses the weak to work out His will while illuminating His power and glory.  Trusting God is a grand adventure that continues throughout eternity - that's truly awesome.  Believers will be gathered at the only church in town.

Just for today...

"... I make my choices more conscientiously.  I do whatever footwork seems appropriate and then turn the results over to God . . .  Today I know that choosing not to decide is to decide."  Courage to Change (p. 134)

"I pray, 'God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...'  Sometimes it's my viewpoint of the situation, and my course of action changes accordingly.  Sometimes the situation resolves itself with no effort on my part."  Hope for Today (p. 134)

"God is great; I am needy - I'm with Him; We're awesome."   Am I a Poet?

May 12th: Why am I repeating my opinion?

 The story...

"If you continue to repeat your opinion then you're trying to control and manipulate others."  I remember when I first heard this.  If that's true then it's also true that I've spent much of my life attempting to manage and control other people's lives.  Me acting like a little god?  My intervention in their lives may have both stunted their growth and hindered their relationship with God. 

A friend of mine told me that he was profiting from reading the book "Scary Close" by Donald Miller.  This peaked my interest as many liked "Blue Like Jazz" and I learned the elements of a story in "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" - I also met Mr. Miller at a Hope College event - I like him.

So, I ordered the book and later went to my bookshelf and found an unread copy - an unread gift.  Being an academic sort, I marked up one copy and recorded my key points in the back of the book with page references.  My friend and I met and discussed our recorded "key points."  It was a fruitful conversation and we both were significantly challenged by the visual example of the three pillows (pp. 205-209).

(pp. 205-209) notes.

The 3-pillow image is a reminder to avoid the dangers that likely lurk within a co-dependent relationship.  "Co-dependency happens when too much of your sense of validation or security comes from somebody else" (p. 206).  In a relationship, there are two souls - each soul has their own pillow that should not be tramped on by the other person.  The middle pillow is the relationship where both can work life together.  The warning is to "never try to change the other person" - do not step on the pillow of their soul!  Work out your own soul and allow them the dignity to work out theirs too.  We're responsible for our own soul and nobody else's.

The only church in town wouldn't work to fix, manage, and control each person so that they all reflected the same idea of what a "good" soul "should" look like.  The will of God for each person would be respected.  Each person would be treated with dignity - their soul, or pillow, would not be trampled on.  They'd sow seeds and grow at their own pace.  Each would value the relationship pillows where they work out life together - the community.

Just for today...

"Stating my opinion once is appropriate, any more than that is an attempt at governing those around me."  Hope for Today (p. 133)

"...deep down, there is a part of me, that pushes me to seek peace, happiness, direction, and wholeness in my life.  And I doubt my doubts."  Courage to Change (p. 133)

"You want change; At my cost - Codependency's raw; People lost."   Am I a Poet?

May 11th - Be kind to you - take it slow

The story...

I greatly appreciate every opportunity to meet with a friend where we leave our guns and armor at the front door.  No agenda, just hanging out together, sharing what's going on within life's journey and our inner man too.  It seems that it takes years to develop that type of vulnerable and trusting relationship.  I've a few relationships like that and I greatly value each of them.

Sometimes a friend's struggling with their current condition, suffering, coping, dealing with those people, or disappointed with themselves.  They seem to breathe a deep "cleansing breath" when they hear a message like: "Hey, come on, be a best friend to you, treat yourself nice; give yourself some grace man.  You know how long it takes for us to grow - be patient with you already."

God's second greatest commandment, "love your neighbor as yourself," validates the legitimacy of loving yourself as part of our foundation for living a good life.  Might I love myself as I am, not just when I'm performing up to my imagined standard of who I oughta be?  YES!  Let's give ourselves a break already.  Yes, demonstrate grace with a heart that's thankful for the grace God extends to His.

Meaningful and lasting change takes time. In my experience, it takes about three times as long as I'd expect to make fundamental life changes.  What kind of changes am I talking about?  Developing close friendships, fully engaging within the group, living in the present, avoiding obsessive thinking, truly seeking to understand before being understood, loving those I've little affinity towards, eliminating self-defeating behaviors, avoiding even the idea of changing another person, working out the greatest commandments in actuality...

My turtle friend, from long ago, took it slow - a patient sort.

The only church in town would be characterized as kind.  Kindness and love worked out amongst real relationships within the indwelling presence of God. Whoa, who wouldn't want to be part of a group like that?

Just for today...

"I spend more time with myself than with anyone else . . . Today I will spend some time exploring the most intimate relationship I will ever have - my relationship with myself."   Courage to Change (p. 132)

"I will learn to relax my stubborn grip on sufferings and allow the solutions to unfold by themselves." One Day at a Time (p. 132)

"You do what?; Begin to see - Maybe I could; Love me be."   Am I a Poet?

May 10th: Peace in the present

 The story...

It seems that people would want to be at peace with themselves and with others - some tried in the anti-war peace movement in the 1960s.  Yet: people disappoint or hurt us; resources are limited; suffering occurs; our decisions have consequences; we hear of daily acts of violence; God's will is different from ours...

I decided to make a concerted effort to promote peace within my family by giving every member a "Peace Frog" t-shirt for Christmas.  I really didn't wear the one pictured below.  I don't think that my family members wore theirs either.  Actually, I merely wore my peace shirt underneath a sweater.  It felt good to sport it without blaring the message towards others.

Humans don't seem peaceful by nature.  Efforts toward an imagined ideal seem good; yet, reality seems to be the better place to live.  Scripture shines light of truth regarding who God is; how we creatures can rightly relate with Him; and promise for our future with Him in Christ.  When we creatures are at peace with our Holy Creator, He indwells us in the person of the Holy Spirit.  Through Him, we're able to bear peace like an apple tree bears apples.

I 'm often surprised when I witness community peace worked out under the light of day.  People would witness and enjoy that kind of peace within the only church in town.  I want to hang out in a place like that - "Right On!"

Shalom

Just for today...

"My unexpected situation turned into a pleasure-filled gift, once I was willing to look at it differently." Hope for Today (p. 131)

"He that is in perfect peace suspects no one, but he that is discontented and disturbed is tossed about with various suspicions..."  Thomas à Kempis

"Peace be real; Lovin still - Livin together; This we will."   Am I a Poet?

May 9th - Relationships

The story...

I'm in 7th-grade wood-shop class, the class bully's walking around the shop thumping a stick in his hand.  He's the strong-tough kid that can do far more chin ups than any other kid in school. Thankfully, I'm not one of the kids that "they" picked on.  One kid was forced to give him his lunch money and others were soundly humiliated.  Now he's walking towards me, at the table saw, sharing a few laughing glances with his friends.  He's thumping a board-club in his hand - I feel trouble coming.

"Would you help me set up the table saw?  I can't get it right."  The words came from my mouth; yet, to this day, I wonder what the source of those words was.  I can remember a quick change in his countenance - he dropped the stick and helped me set up the saw.  A strange phenomena occurred yet I still don't know what happened - I can only guess.

On the way walking back from school he yells at me from behind.  I remember thinking, "oh no, here it comes."  He catches up with me and talks to me on the way home.  The same think happened for a few weeks - he wanted to be my friend.  This strange friendship didn't last long; but, it meant a lot to me.

Relationships develop within the only church in town. The most important relationship is with God yet relationships along our life journey are worthy.  Might they develop a better sort of person who walks closer to God - trusting, abiding, and listening with a quieter an open heart?

Just for today...

"I find that reworking my way through forgiveness has freed me to move beyond my pain.  I can now establish a healthier and more intimate relationship with God. Finally, I experience wonderful freedom."  Hope for Today (p. 130)

"If I am troubled, worried, exasperated or frustrated, do I rationalize the situation and put the blame on someone else?"  One Day at a Time (p. 130)

"One way to learn to love myself is to accept the love of others."  Courage to Change (p. 130)

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself (for God did not need to create). It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”  C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves (p.71)

"Clunky friends; Good with me - Weather storms; We can be."   Am I a Poet?

May 8th - One-Minute Chunks of Life

The story...

Yesterday, a friend and I were discussing what it would be like to live close to half of our lives in the 30 second intervals that we might call the "present."  He got a bit uncomfortable with such a short period so we expanded the space to one minute.  It seemed right and good so we purposed to give it a try.  Was the experiment successful?  I don't know; yet, I do believe that focusing on the present is worthy.  It's the time period where life's lived.

Blanchard and Johnson wrote a 1980's bestseller book "The One Minute Manager."  The book continues to be popular today.  Apparently, managers do their best too when they're working out their jobs and lives alongside co-workers in the present.  I wonder if that was the author's underlying theme yet my mind missed it as I managed "to and fro."  

Today my intent will be to live in the 30-second intervals of the present, perceiving more, understanding, and communicating more calmly and purposefully.  Sounds like a good cake recipe.

Momma's birthday cake

Might the only church in town be a place where people come to experience the present more fully?  I expect that there's a group norm that'll seem to push my behavior towards what's normal; yet, if my life bears fruit, as I walk humbly with God in the now, then maybe what's normal will begin to shift for the whole group?  Visitors might witness life being worked out in the present while bearing fruit?

Just for today...

"I don't have to like reality, only to accept it for what it is.  This day is too precious to waste by resenting things I can't change."  Courage to Change (p. 129)

"Over time my plan has shifted from the accomplishments of a lifetime to adjusting my attitude one day at a time.  Instead of considering what I would do with my future, I now choose what I can do in the present."  Hope for Today (p. 129)

"If we surrender to God's guidance, it will cost us our self-will, so precious to us who have always thought we could dominate."  One Day at a Time (p. 129)

"Life's a wonder; Outside of me - Lots of beauty; We may see."
"Past is gone; Future's tomorrow - Life's now; Do less sorrow."
"He's among us; Pray and listen - Joy and peace; Eyes may glisten."   Am I a Poet?

May 7th - The Delivery Held Back

The story...

I worked a delivery boy job, at a drug store, for about two years while in high school.  We were paid a fixed sum each week.  If there were more deliveries than normal then I stayed late along with the pharmacists who prepared the deliveries.  On one exceptionally late night, an emotional exchange pushed me to say "I Quit."  I actually didn't get the last word fully out.  The owner said "Rommel, what did you say?"  Thankfully, I stammered and said "nothing."

I liked the job, my boss, my co-workers, the customers, and the independence that the job offered.  I'm so... thankful that I didn't fully react to the emotions that were boiling inside me.  

I looked at the store's website while writing this post. I saw: the same pharmacy counter where they assembled my deliveries, the fountain where the regulars sat on their stools and swapped stories, the front windows that I washed on Saturday afternoons...  The experiences helped develop the independent, more capable and interpersonal me.  I'm so... thankful for all of them and cherish the memories. Yes, I'm glad I held back that last emotionally laden word.

The Delivery Car - Color was actually dark green

There will be disagreements and emotionally-charged exchanges within the only church in town.  Maybe forgiveness would happen more quickly and completely since there'd be no other church to run away to.  I expect that even heated exchanges would better the people, their relationships and, more importantly, their trust in God and not "self."  I'm so... thankful that I've worked out my life with others within my church for 40+ years.  Like staying on with the drug store, I'm so thankful that I didn't run away from an emotional exchange - we worked 'em out together - "thanks to our Lord."

Just for today...

"What others say or do may bring up feelings, but I need to remember they are my feelings. I am responsible for what I do with them."  Hope for Today (p. 128)

"I know that improved health in one family member can have a profound effect on the rest of the family."  Courage to Change (p. 128)

"We help best by inspiring people to think through and solve their own problems." One Day at a Time (p. 128)

"You blurt out; I react quick - Fragile egos; Both feel sick."
"Say I'm sorry; I'm wiley ya know - Why expect different?; God says so."
"He redeemed us; By His powers - We're loved; Kindness showers."   Am I a Poet?

May 6th - "You don't know what you don't know."

The story...

I wish I'd received more honest feedback throughout my life.  I expect that people often didn't feel safe delivering their perceptions or ideas to me.  What would I say or how would I react?  I wrote most of my own performance appraisals; yet, I sincerely appreciated those that were written by my supervisor.  Some included constructive feedback and a clearer view towards what "better" might look like.  I truly did act on much of the feedback and became a better employee and person along the way.  

Strangely, one of my favorite sayings is "you don't know what you don't know."  Those truths and perceptions fit into one of the four quadrants in the following diagram - it's been helpful for me.  As a teacher, I've this need to explain what this grid represents and how it might best be applied; yet, it's self explanatory.  You'll likely desire to increase the size of your quadrant "A" and more honestly assess the amount of potential knowledge to be found in each of your quadrants.

As I've grown as a person, I believe quadrants "A" and B" have become bigger and that quadrants "C" and "D." have become smaller.  As humans, I expect that we vastly minimize the size of quadrant "D."

The only church in town would hopefully grow their congregant's knowledge found in quadrants "A," "B" and "C."  Some of the unknowns in quadrants "B", "C" and "D," are revealed only in God's Word.   Those are good reasons for attending your local church and trusting God.

Just for today...

"I put so much energy into hiding the truth that, although no one rejected me, I was as isolated and lonely as if they had."  Courage to Change (p. 127)

"I wasted large portions of my day lost in daydreams, rewriting the past with happy endings and doling out justice to those who had caused me harm."  Hope for Today (p. 127)

"You know stuff; I know more - We could share; Build our core."
"God knows what; His creatures need - Life is short; Like a seed."
"Eternity I'll be; A strong oak tree - Trust Him now; Straight and free."   Am I a Poet?

May 5th - Limitations

The story...

If I'm more honest with reality and the limited control that I have; then, I may experience humility.  The need to work out life best, in a humble way, reminds me of a quote from the Dirty Harry movie Magnum Force: "a man's got to know his limitations."

Does being humble include being honest with our limitations and bowing our hearts and minds in awe of our Creator and God?  Yes, a humble and honest life walk sits well with me.

I hope that the people of the only church in town don't build their faith based on the quality of their leader - often the pastor.  The pastor's under the curse, the law of sin and death, just like you.  Yet, all who attend the only church in town would hear him preach the good news.  "That Than Which There is No Greater" offers our all-powerful redeemer - His only begotten Son.  I'm glad that He's my redeemer and that I don't have to rely on me or the possibility of a helpful and capable guy like "Dirty Harry."

Just for today...

"I begin  to learn humility when I take the first step.  By admitting I am powerless, I make room for the possibility that a Power greater than myself can do all those things that are beyond my reach."  Courage to Change (p. 126)

"Young men aim; High and lofty - Keep on trying; Not a softy."
"Life is harsh; Some pretend - I've got this;  Never'll end."
"Storms speak harshly; Pretend anew - Gather likeminded; Why so blue?"
"Trust not try; Faith's the way - He finds peace; We're okay."     Am I a Poet?

May 4th - Mansion on the Hill

The story...

Are you okay with your character within the epic story of life?  I expect it's good to want to improve our condition yet it's probably more important to appreciate the good in what we got.

I remember imagining how great it would be to be a professor.  Graduate students working real projects alongside me and even stopping by my house to talk about their ideas and lives too.  I'd live in a one-story-brick house with a big front porch.  It'd never be winter on that tree-lined street where everybody felt welcomed.  We'd share our lives as we worked through the reality of this world and what might be.  I'd attend lectures, plays, and concerts.  Life would be bigger, wiser, and more fulfilling. 

The idea was compelling enough that I worked long and hard to earn my PhD and find that university job.  It was good; yet, it wasn't as I imagined.  I was tired at the end of a work day and looked forward to returning to my condo - away from campus, fellow professors, and the students too. 

Most people aren't alive and their time under the sun is over.  Biology, astronomy and the science leave me in awe of this "miracle" of life.  Wow, you and I are both alive if you're reading this sentence.  That's a big wow!

We can waste our life dreaming of a better reality, the "mansion on the hill," and miss the wonderful reality of what truly is.  Bruce Springsteen's album "Nebraska" does a good job of delving into the hopes, dreams, and struggles of being human - the lyrics, guitar, harmonica and his comfortable voice resonated with my soul during a couple phases of my life.

We can look at life as good or bad.  Suffering breaks some people; yet, leads others to trust in God and His Word for their past, present and future.  I hope that the only church in town will be a place of joy and hope amidst suffering.  Their countenances and talk would speak of overflowing thankfulness for journeying though a life close to God in Christ.   I hope we wouldn't find people commiserating in their futility - hoping for that illusive mansion on a hill.

Just for today...

"If a man happens to find himself, he has a mansion which he can inhabit with dignity all the days of his life."  James Michener

"When a man of good-will is troubled or tempted or afflicted with evil thoughts, then he can better understand how great a need he has of faith in God."  Thomas à Kempis

"Got me an itch; Won't go away - Tried this and that; What do I say?"
"Satisfied I ain't; Longing to please - Others don't help; Often they tease."
"Rest my mind; Trust God's true - Eyes off me; No longer blue."    Am I a Poet?

May 3rd - Freedom to Flourish

The story...

A co-worker and I were commuting to-and-from Grand Rapids, MI as part of a continuing education curriculum designed to help us become better managers and leaders.  We were struggling to accept the lessons learned from a video we saw that night.  The video showed a "boss" who had multiple employees come into his office while he was setting plans for a golf outing.  Each of his reports would let him know of their problem(s) and how they were proceeding.  He acknowledged their planned actions, thanked them, and returned to planning his outing with his feet up on the desk.  It seemed like he was a disengaged, laissez-faire, manager.  Yet, the video suggested that good leadership might look like that - capable leaders and mangers performing their role in a sort of symphony together.  How could this be?  Shouldn't the boss give them advise, check on the progress of their work and pitch in to help?  You know, true servant leadership?

My fellow student and I both served support roles for multiple manufacturing facilities.  So, we challenged ourselves to decide which operation had the most capable leaders within the organization.  We were somewhat shocked when we realized that the leader of the best organization did behave much like the leader portrayed in the video - neither of us really thought he was a good leader.  Yet, his organization was like a farm team who developed good leaders and managers for the organization - they played a manufacturing symphony together.  We both learned a valuable lesson.

Freedom to work it out and grow

What would leadership look like within the only church in town?  I expect that they'd allow congregates the freedom to work out their own life and faith.  They'd be available, good listeners, offer related truth revealed by God, yet be slow to give advice as to how or what they should do.  They'd allow each person to grow with freedom to flourish as gifted. 

Just for today...

"Sometimes it is more loving to allow someone else to experience the natural consequences of their actions, even when it is painful for us both."  Courage for Change (p. 124)

"Searched for Love; Mom and Dad - Friend and Brother; Left me sad."
"Looked for Girl; Two or Three - They can't do; Love for me?"
"Illusive kindness; Flits away - Be that friend; Love you say?"   Am I a Poet?

May 2nd - Do it Myself Curse

The story...

My dad grew up as the oldest of eight kids during the depression.  Their family didn't have much - they cared for each other.  Once he described, with a tear in his eye, what it was like for the last of the salted pork to be used up in late winter - "who wants to ask their neighbors for food?"  I remember him quoting his mother: "don't buy what you don't need, you might lose it someday."

I admired my dad's resourcefulness - he could do it himself.  So, my brother and I also did it ourselves - the principle was passed on even though we don't need to worry about running out of food this winter.  

Working out the "do it yourself" principle can seem like a curse when: you spend more money; your repair's less reliable; you lose valuable time; you don't allow others to help you; you fret over how you'll fix it without help; or you're overburdened with tools, materials, and spare parts.

"I might need that someday."

I'd rather be more self aware and realistic when: making purchase decisions; deciding when to ask for help; trusting others to do it for me, and assessing my true capabilities.  I want to be available to both give and receive help and love with others.  And, I want to focus my inner man on walking humbly with God in Christ in a more unencumbered way.   

The only church in town would invest their resources and time to both give and receive help and love among others.  In community, they'd walk humbly with God, in Christ, in an increasingly unencumbered way. 

Just for today...

"When I become willing to let go of the need to do it by myself, I can listen to others and receive direction from God."  Courage to Change (p. 123)

"Denial can be a shock absorber for the spirit. I can respect and be grateful for that survival mechanism, but I'll not hang onto it longer than necessary"  Hope for Today (p. 123)

"That side's His; This side's mine - Both eternal; Fence is fine."
"His's about Him; Mine's about me - You know you; Why hope for Him?"
"Why choose now; Enjoy yourself - Take care of you; You're mine."    Am I a Poet?

May 1st - Contentment

The story...

It's after church in the 1990's.  We're on our way to Grand Rapids for dinner and shopping as a family.  It's springtime, and I'm pumping gas into my "sporty" station wagon while feeling thankful that the windows were rolled up.  The bickering and complaining, sounding from the car, was too much.  I noticed a guy whistling as he walked to the gas station.  I saw him go inside and come out with a candy bar.  He unwrapped the candy bar and took a bite.  His countenance seemed happy - bordering on joyful.  He walked away with a sort of bounce in his step.  I got back into the car and felt discontentment.  Why?  I seemed to have more than he had - why wasn't I content?

I don't have to explain this story for you.  We know the answers.  Yes, we've met the enemy and they are often us.

The only church in town would have an answer for finding contentment throughout our lives.  And, we'd witness that contentment worked out by others within their lives too.  We'd also witness a sense of calm within the inevitable storms.

Eugène Delacroix, 1853

Just for today...

"There are many areas of my life that I cannot change.  What I can change is my attitude. Today I can accept my life as it is.  I can be grateful and happy, here and now, with what I have."  Courage to Change (p. 122)

"If I believe in a Power greater than my own, it would be unreasonable for me to behave as though I were all-wise."  One Day at a Time (p. 122)

"Cup's warm; Coffee's good - Rim's thin; handle's right."
"Mind's sharper; Talk's better - Life's good; Move on."      Am I a Poet?

April 30th - Preventive Maintenance

The story...

I heard that a part on my car was likely to fail and potentially leave me stranded.  So, one Saturday I went to AutoZone to buy the replacement part and install it, in my driveway, that afternoon.   I imagined a fulfilling experience while listening to the Detroit Tigers game - the repair would go the way I planned.  I could do it by myself.

"If it ain't broke don't fix it"  I turned around and met a man who'd given me this unexpected advice while waiting in the AutoZone store line.  He heard me explain to the guy at the counter what I wanted and why I wanted it.  "When you loosen bolts, free it with a hammer, and take the wiring clips apart you change the system, create new problems, the unexpected happens..."  I thanked him, and the guy at the counter too, and left without the part.  I don't know if the part eventually failed, if I truly avoided the repair cost, or if  other problems might've truly been averted.

I'm so thankful that this man intervened in my life - he could've remained silent.  In the parking lot, he also explained why he and his friends owned S10 pickups - they're a simple design, easy to understand, and easy to fix.  His friends worked together to solve their common problem - everybody needs a vehicle to get them from here to there.  He said that they got together most Saturdays to maintain their trucks and live life together too.

An S10

The group of guys, working on their S10s, was an "ecclesia."  Ecclesia is the Greek word for "a called out group of people."  This New Testament word, ecclesia, is translated as church in my Bible translation.  Does that mean that this guy and his friends were a church that met regularly and cared for each other?  How might the only church in town be better off if it were more like this group of S10 owners?  It sounds much better than working on my car alone - hoping that things go well and relying on me.

Just for today...

"When I put my experiences into words, they seem more real and  I am less likely to push them aside. As a result, I can often face problems when they are still only slight irritations and deal with them before they grow and take over."  Courage to Change (p. 121)

"On the rare occasions, I get a negative comment, I consider what I can learn and turn it over to God as something over which I have no control."  Hope for Today (p. 121)

"I can do it; Don't need you - When I fail; Pretend anew."   Am I a Poet?

April 29th - Be Patient with Me

The story...

The Patriarch Jacob seems to be a rascal whom God loved and favored.  Scripture says that God changed his name to Israel as he walked close to God.  He favored His people Israel on account of His love for Jacob.  Throughout scripture, God is patient with people groups and individuals as they work out their lives. 

We each were created uniquely - needy and gifted.  I'm glad that God's people, who are models for our faith, are not do-gooders who never made mistakes - phew...  For me, real personal growth has been a slow process marked by step-function improvements; slow degrading drifts, and lasting growth that remains within my character.  A life that hopefully you and others can relate to.

Each person entering the only church in town will be different.  And, they'll be within a phase of their life that'll likely change as life transforms them - either fruitfully or unfruitfully.  The only church in town would offer grace and patience along the way.  Hopefully, the attenders will be transformed into people who trust God, act justly, love kindness and walk humbly with God in Christ.  

Just for today...

"I grew up with guilt and blame . . . when past mistakes come to mind I tend to react with guilt, exaggerating the significance of my errors and thinking very badly of myself."  Courage to Change (p. 120)

"Unless we have first judged and condemned them for what they did, there would be no reason for us to forgive them."  One Day at a Time (p. 120)

"Mind knows; Heart attests - Chose bad; Knew good."
"Iniquity felt; Bent wrong - God forgiven; Right in Christ."
"Being new; God lit - Righteous steps; Fruit born."    Am I a Poet?

April 28th - Father Knows Best

The story...

There was a radio, later tv, show called Father Knows Best.  It was popular, a theme of goodness for the 40's and 50's culture.  I'm glad that I had a dad who was wise and trustworthy.  He lived out a code that provided structure and boundaries for my growth.  He was a good man who really didn't know know the best - he knew good.  I'm so thankful that he was my dad.  He was a human who was created in the image of God; yet, he was blessed and flawed like the rest of us.

I thought that my dad was the best dad.  I remember the first time that I heard two of his sisters complaining about him, describing him negatively.  I heard them as I unintentionally eavesdropped outside the door.  It happened at a reception following my grandfather's funeral - the family's world was being torn asunder before "re-norming."  I was shocked and immediately distrusted his two sisters.  Yet, the experience opened the door to the idea that my dad was flawed.  "Might his sisters be right?"  

We know that everybody has strengths and weaknesses yet pride and suffering can move people toward isolation.  A response to rejection might be to grab your toys and go home - to isolate and protect self. 

When a person's isolation turns into brokenness, where do they go?  Who do they call?  I hope that they'd call, be invited to, or be brought to the only church in town.  There, they'd find the value of community - a community of hope!  A close friend might be found their too - the kind that you might walk and grow side-by-side with.  Together they'll have hope in their Father who does know what's best for His creation.  He is "That Than Which There is No Greater."

Just for today...

"Praying for my will to be done often led me to pain, trouble and confusion . . . God sees the whole picture."  Hope for Today (p. 119)

"I could bring myself to a brighter view of life if I weren't always feeling sorry for myself; despair is often a mask for self-pity."  One Day at a Time (p. 119)

"The best; Or nothing - His motto; Each day."
"Opine away; Judge all - They're stupid; I'm okay."
"Laugh at; Look down - Draw back; Stay away."
"Lonely; Afraid - Unloved; Distant."                            Am I a Poet?

April 27th - Paddling Together

The story...

You're in a group that's planned to last about a year.  You get to know each other well with only a couple of months left.  When a deeper question arises, the group respectfully ponders it.  The guy who used to blurt out the answer feels comfortable with the silence.  The guy who didn't know what to say, and feared sharing, is quietly and peacefully pondering it too.  When a group member speaks up, the group listens and more naturally values the thoughts expressed from his inner man.  The sense of community feels great - we're growing together.  "One person says, lets all stay with each other next year too."  I'm currently enjoying my seventh year in a group like this.  I greatly value each of the seven groups and every member - I'm a better person because of our common life investments. 

One of my group members was different then me; yet, we shared a common life struggle and the suffering that went along with it.  We've met for years and have both grown together - walking through life side-by-side.  I greatly value our friendship and our faith seems to have grown together too.  It's kind of like we're walking together like Christian and Faithful walked throughout Pilgrim's Progress (John Bunyan, 1678).

Years ago, my best friend and I enjoyed a trip to the Boundary Waters on the border of Minnesota and Ontario.   We planned the trip with other's help, we geared up at the Canoe Outfitter and learned how to react to bear encounters as a group.  Yet, when we pushed off from the dock - we were on our own with only a map to guide us.  Pilgrims in a new territory that promised adventure, beauty, suffering, and protein from the fish we hoped to catch.  The portages were strenuous.  The four bear encounters were terrifying.  Watching moose navigate through anything was humbling.  The first morning dip of the paddle was serene.  Relying on each other was bonding. The trip was really hard and good.  We often wondered and anticipated "what's around the bend?"  Strangely, we don't think that we'd do it again yet greatly value the experience.

This Maine canoe outfitter says "Your Adventure Starts Here."

The only church in town will offer relationship opportunities at various levels - different relationships for different people within their season of life.  The full congregation, groups, friendships, close friendships, and most importantly their relationship walking humbly with their Father God in Christ. The last affords the opportunity to make the first four types fruit bearing and worthy.

Just for today...

"Self-esteem grows when I love and accept myself as I am.  I block my own well-being each time I base my self-worth on what I do or what others think of me."  Courage to Change (p. 118)

 "When I heard the recording, I was immediately flooded with fear and apprehension . . . I pray that I may not fall into the error of anticipating trouble . . . If it should come, let me meet it with equanimity and love."  Hope for Today (p. 118)

"Pull from bow, Steer from stern - Tandem power; Traveling learn."   Am I a Poet?

April 26th - Humility

The story...

I was 23 years old and my feet hurt; so, I went to a podiatrist for help.  He explained that my body structure caused me to walk in a manner that caused pain.  He recommended I wear orthotics, to align my body; if, I wanted to continue doing the things I liked to do.  I said: "Tell me how to walk right and I'll walk right."  The doctor paused, probably grimaced, and said: "Friend, you have another problem that's bigger than your feet."  

Micah 6:8 says that a good life is found walking humbly with God.  I expect that the admonishment is not to "try" to walk humbly with God, rather to "actually" walk humbly with God.  This transformation has to be a great work of God in a person's inner self - there's no way that I could make that kind of change on my own.  God did the work so that I might walk humbly with Him - an honest appreciation of self.  No matter how hard we try, we can't be good enough to walk closely and humbly/honestly with God - our sin nature and God's Holiness don't fit together - like oil and water.  Walking humbly with God... what a wonderful way to be - being truthful with me.

Tadeusz Gorecki, Humility

The only church in town would frequently present the gospel truth.  The person whose trusting in their own good works would hear about both the futility of "trying" to control their own sin as opposed to trusting in God's great redeeming work for them in Christ.  They may react with surprise and great relief.   Then they'd witness transformed people living out a right relationship with God in Christ.  Pilgrim, how's your life progressing?

Just for today...

"I've always had a prideful, exaggerated  sense of my abilities, assuming I could do anything and knew the right answers to everyone's questions . . .  I offended  many people with my opinionated, know-it-all manner . . . This new relationship with God, who knows best, invited me to rethink my position in life; it also invited me to consider the concept of humbleness."  Hope for Today (p. 117)

"A good boy; My momma say - Fully proud; Went new way."
"Humbled in Christ; Peace at last -  Loved and loving; Washed the past."    Am I a Poet?

April 25th - 3rd Eye

The story...

A human resources guy's teaching me to be a better facilitator:  "If you're only looking through your own eyes then you're going to get a limited picture of what's really going on.  What would your third eye see from the top corner of the room?"  

What's really going on in the room?  We know it's impossible to truly know what's going on inside other people; yet, we can receive "tail tell" signs.  What would my third eye see?  The body language, nervous laughter, awkward silence, unexpected comments, beginnings of thoughts not fully expressed, inner-personal conflicts working their way out...  Efforts to redirect my eyes from my vantage to others helped me become a better facilitator.   

These awareness skills and habits take time to develop and maintain.  They get rusty and need the oil can.  Dorothy opens her eyes to her surroundings and discovers a person who she hadn't really noticed before - she finds out that he has "heart" issues.

People would be noticed, valued, and listened to within the only church in town.  People with a loving nature would reach out to better understand the heart issues of others - the things that really matter.  They'd love their neighbor as themselves.  They'd aspire to love others as Christ loved - the Spirit of God indwells those who are His.

Just for today...

"I am introspective when I turn my spiritual energy inward to observe my actions, character, motives, and reactions.  The ensuing awareness helps me see behavior patterns that hold me back from being the person I want to be."  Hope for Today (p. 116)

"I saw that; You meant this - We fell apart; Life lost."   Am I a Poet?

April 24th - Judged and Rejected

The story...

In the early 1990s, a friend of mine shared an experiment that he tried - he was shocked at the results.  He was a big burly sort of guy who sang in his church choir.  He wore a magnetically attached earring on his left ear lobe one Sunday.  The group overtly exhibited strong negative behaviors and feelings directed towards him.  He was rejected by the group without any words being shared.  I was fascinated by the story; so, I naively decided to give it a try myself.

I set up the scenario by bemoaning that I needed a change in my life for a few days.  Then I went to the mall with my young son and bought the magnetic earring.  I couldn't lie to my son so he was in on it.  When I walked through the door, the one who loves me most was shocked, doubted the reality, shocked again, doubted the reality again, and then finally, yet reluctantly, accepted the new change.  They were bruised when they realized it was fake and that I'd put them through the emotional anguish.

It was a different story with my siblings and parents.  I later regretted "trying" the same experiment on them.  My mother accepted it right away; but, expressed worry about how other family members would react.  My brother curled up in a ball on the couch and rocked back and forth in disbelief.  I don't remember how my sisters reacted yet I think that they decided to wait it out.  My dad fully rejected me and indirectly shared a story about what happened to people like that in the Navy.  I was judged differently by different people.  Would I try an experiment like this again?  No, it wasn't fair to me or for them.  I'd rather read about somebody else's experiment - it hurt all of us.

I'm hoping that the only church in town would welcome the whole community.  Oh, if those who were invited to enter the doors could feel the love of God expressed through those who are His...

Just for today...

"I must guard against judging others by my standards.  It means examining and improving those standards and living up to them myself."  One Day at a Time (p. 115)

"That'll shock'em; Let's roll - Weathered hearts; We toil."   Am I a Poet?

April 23rd - Feelings

The story...

The songwriter must feel a sort of onus when they copyright a song title that's a word that means so much.  Morris Albert's 1975 song "Feelings" is one of those songs.  I'm glad that Morris' song was done well - you can feel it.

Thank you Ivan and Morris - well done.

Sure, the song was overplayed on the radio - many people complained about it.  Yet, I expect that the underlying problem was that people often don't know what to do with their feelings.  As you probably know, many people suppress them and have a difficult time acknowledging or expressing them.  It might start with that one real-strong feeling that you held back and buried - unwanted feelings.

Might you periodically perform a feelings checkup?  Are you feeling happy, fearful, sad, angry, shameful, or guilty?  If so, why?  Feelings are wonderful human sensing mechanisms that can help us better understand and more fully engage in life - kind of like a latent super hero's power.  With practice, we don't have to quickly react to them or hang onto them too long.  My 1992 T-group experience in Maine was formative for my emotional awareness.  I learned to be more emotionally intelligent - more in tune with what's going on.

Yes, the only church in town would have places, or groups, with whom congregants might work out their life more fully.  They'll be appreciated for being the uniquely gifted person that we all are.  We're created in the image of God with feelings - albeit experienced differently.

Just for today...

"As long as I kept them trapped inside me, my feelings were painful and poisonous secrets.  When I let them out, they became expressions of my vitality."  Courage to Change (p. 116)

"Just as prayer is my way of talking with God, meditation is my way of listening for direction."  Hope for Today (p. 116)

"We sense; We feel - They're true; We're real."   Am I a Poet?

April 22nd - Sophomore Year

The story...

I moved my stuff into a new dorm room for my Sophomore year of college.  My new room and roommate seemed better.  I greatly valued the dorm floor community - especially the upper classmen that I'd looked up to and learned from.  They left - I felt an ache and missed them.  Yet, there were the excitable new Freshman who were ready to be treated as "adults;" yet, not ready to behave that way.

I was walking to lunch and I noticed a friend's new roommate's name on his door.  I thought it said his last name was "Lord" so I made a quick joke and we all laughed about it.  This new Freshman's nickname was "Lordy" thereafter.

Lordy was different from any person I'd known.  He was raised without the boundaries of any moral code I knew.  He did what he wanted.  His good looks, fun personality, lack of boundaries, and interest in almost everyone, led him into destructive "radical" patterns - his future seemed risky at best. 

For example, he'd read trade journals, that my dad gave me, rather than studying for tomorrow's exam - I didn't read the trade journals.  He rode home laying on the roof of a car, gazing at the stars - wanted to feel something new.  He experienced deep short-term relationships with the girls that most guys dreamed of just being noticed by.  He tried things that were illegal without concern of risk.  He seemed to be a shooting star that'd burn out too soon.  I'm told that he later became an evangelist - a preacher!

"That Than Which there is No Greater" is in control and His will will be worked out regardless of our opinions.  The story of Jonah and his call for the big city of Nineveh to turn from evil, so that God would relent from His planned destruction, is a great example.  Jonah didn't want God to save any from this enemy city - A city that would soon "sack" Israel in 701 BCE.  Yet, God directed Jonah to proclaim that He would save them and He did - He saved all of them.  Why wouldn't God do the same thing for Jonah's people in Israel?  God's ways are not our ways nor His thoughts our thoughts.

The only church in town would be God's called out group of people.  They'd listen to God's revealed Word, believe it, and trust Him.

Just for today...

Consider reading the book of Jonah.  And, following up with Matthew 12:38-41.  Whoa!

"... we neither love nor hate those in whom we have no interest . . . Love has a chance to flower in a shared life; hate is love twisted and warped by disillusionment and despair."  One Day at a Time (p. 113)

"We decide to place our will and our life in the hands of God.  We let go of burdens that were never ours to carry.  And we begin to treat ourselves more kindly and more realistically."  Courage to Change (p. 113)

"Kind here; Grace there - We're better; Me and we."   Am I a Poet?