January 7th - Detaching from what others say - be

The story...

My mother didn't like the way my beard looked - for many years, I grew a beard during the fall and shaved it on my Mother's birthday in the spring.  Often when she saw my beard she'd almost automatically say something like: "You look like some kind of dummy with that on! . . . Why don't you shave that off? . . . You look so good without it, why in the world would you do something like that? . . .  Do you know what you look like?"  She may have delivered the same message in a more polite way like:  "If it's all the same with you, would you put on this "mask" so that you can be the person I imagine you to be?"

We all receive messages about us either directly or indirectly.  These messages can lead us to question or defend our imaginary self-image - the one we internalize and project to others.  In response, we may: deny the message and discredit the sender, seek out another who'll offer the praise that our "self" desires, sulk, fight, conform to the image that the "group" has of us, or we might pop our imaginary bubble and start over with a new self-image.

The only church in town will offer a new self image that's based on what, and who, God says we are and what we might be.  Surely, there will be some people who are acting out a "good" role and they might offer us a mask to "try" on so that we might conform to "their" image of what a Christian is.  I hope that we offer the mask givers grace yet trash the mask and act out our faith in reality - just the way we are. 

My mother passed away from this life in January 2024 and is now with her Savior and Lord. She loved and hoped the best for me - just the way I was.  I'm so thankful for the many ways she expressed her love to me throughout my first 65 years. I continue to praise God for her - I'm an orphan now but not on my own.

Just for today...

"I care enough about myself to take a quiet half hour to relax. But if a half hour is more than I can manage, I can let that be alright. Whatever time I give to myself will be a step forward. If I can stop the wheels from turning for even a few moments, God can take charge and steer me in the right direction."  Courage to Change (p. 7)

"Nothing can hurt me unless I allow it to. When I am pained by anything that happens outside of myself, it is not that thing which hurts me, but the way I think and feel about it . . . 'God teach me to detach my mind form what others say and do, except to draw helpful lessons and guidance from them.'"  One Day at a Time (p. 7)

January 2nd - Clarified expectations by God's intervention

The story...

In 1980, I expected to: begin a career as a sales engineer selling industrial robots; marry within a couple years; invest my growing capital in corporations for continual wealth growth; buy a house; drive a convertible; experience adventurous vacations; have four kids; and continue to live out a rebellious sort of ideals - to be free.  In 1981, reality went differently than I expected.  It was as though God pulled, maybe yanked, me in His direction.  What do I believe to be the key points of my life when I believe that God directly intervened?

Here's my take on the key related factual events, listed chronologically by my age:

8.  Walked to front of neighborhood-children-evangelistic meeting and accepted Jesus the Christ as my Savior.

15. Lost and alone in a canoe in the Boundary Waters, MN - in the dark.  I promised to dedicate my life to God if He saved me from my predicament - I saw the light of the campfire less than one minute after making my commitment to Him.

16. Worked every other Sunday and drifted away from attending church services.

18. Fully engaged in a self-absorbed college life and stopped attending church.

22. After a period of brokenness, I read the four gospels and was surprised to learn God's story in Christ - new good news to me. Miraculous auto accident avoidance and three incredibly unlikely personal interactions with those who I now believe to have been directed by the Spirit of God.  Steve and Marlene invite me to church.

23. I move to Knoxville, TN and people directly intervene in my life.  They seem to have been led by Spirit of God.  They lead me to study and believe the Word of God - "be" differently.

26. Dejected by the seemingly unbearable "religious'" expectations demanded of me for living a "Christian" life.  Bill Job explains the grace of God - God works out all that's good and that I was identified with Christ and right with God solely by what Christ did for me.  Our work was to believe both the gospel and His revealed Word.

28. We attend a dispensational church that more correctly interpreted God's provisions for us gentiles -  Pauline theology.  We were fully engaged in bible study and the church.

40. Kid(s) resent being told how to be good by following religious practices and principles.  They expose the difference between what we said and did - they also wanted to be free of religion.  A hyper-grace like message seemed to allow the freedom for us to walk a more "sinful" path while under the protective umbrella of the grace of God.  My prayer life might've revealed the problem.

60. Brokenness again leads me to more honestly assess my life and faith walk.  I develop more honest and close relationships while working out my faith in the Light.  I disengaged from those trying to "run" the church and gave up "trying" to be good.  I gave up attempts to fix, manage, and control other people according to what I thought was best.  Trusted by placing my hopes for me and others in the "hands of God."  My life actually began to "bear" fruit that both I, maybe others too, enjoyed.  

The only church in town will lead you to God through His Word.  They'll direct you to that right relationship with God that can be yours by believing the Gospel truth of what God's already done for you in Christ.  Our work is to believe (John 6:29).

Just for today...

"... it is our expectations, not our loved ones, that have let us down . . . learn to treat our needs as important and appropriate, and to treat ourselves as deserving . . . if we stop insisting that our needs be met according to our will, we might discover that all the love and support we need is already at our fingertips."   Courage to Change (p. 2)

"I will not fall in with . . . craving for punishment to relieve his or her guilt. I will not scold and weep, for it will not overcome the difficulties that we are trapped in . . . I pray that I may stop and think before I do or say anything whatever."  One Day at a Time (p. 2)

"'Look back without staring.' As long as I kept staring at my past without experiencing my feelings about it, I stayed mired in fear, resentment, and self-pity . . . Only after I stopped long enough to feel my anguish, bitterness, and emptiness could I let them go and move ahead."   Hope for Today (p. 2)

December 29th - Plant your foot solidly and securely

 The story...

My feet had bunions, tight tendons connecting my toes, and almost no arch.  To make matters more challenging, one of my legs was/is about 1/4" longer.  Some of these limitations, and those partially caused by them, were corrected by surgery.  These changes allowed me to move more stably.

It feels good and right to plant your foot - the rest of your body parts, including the lumbar region of my spine, rely on that firm footing.  My lower back is currently impinging my spinal cord which is sending nerve impulses to my brain which I interpret as negative and painful.  Those "pain" signals trigger unwanted reactions, thoughts, and changes in my behavior.  I wanna be better.

The following article is from the 12/26/23 edition of the Wall Street Journal.  It claims that I might change my perception of some of the nerve signals that originate from my pinched spinal cord.  "The cause is brain sensitization rather than physical injury . . . verbally reappraising the sensations as a false alarm and noting it so that it's not considered threatening or painful."  Yes, I can live a better life by more accurately sensing, perceiving, and acting on reality.  That makes sense to me and seems like right thinking - in response, I'm planning on reappraising my nerve signals. I'll give it a try in reality.

Within the only church in town you'll learn the value of placing your step solidly within God's will. That firmer foundation allows for sustainable growth centered and planted in reality - the seen and the unseen.  I'm not talking about an imaginary world where a group all agrees in a sort of blind hope - It's about real relationships and better lives worked out together in the Light of God's revealed Word.  It's the place to be - fruit bearing along the way.

Just for today...

"Did I demand to much? Am I being confronted with a natural reprisal for my rigid, uncompromising attitude? . . . If we hurt someone or demanded to much of them, swift retribution may dismay or infuriate us . . . I may feel ever so justified in "taking a stand," but let me consider whether it was something I did that led to the crisis."  One Day at a Time (p. 364)

December 24th - Acknowledging reality

 The story...

My desk is a mess.  True, I don't currently have a designated place to put everything and I've more stuff than I need.  Yet, I know that I can organize my desk - I've done it in the past and I've the resources needed to make it happen.  Being organized is better and I've got the time to make it happen.  In fact, I expect that I'll actually enjoy the process once I get started.  So, why don't I get started?  I understand that this introspective quality is uniquely human - and a good focus of conversation with a close friend.  It's so freeing to be grounded closer to reality than our imaginary "world" that we "wish" was true.  Yet, might our best introspective efforts be an illusion?

The only church in town will review the reality that's expressed in the Apostle Paul's book of Ephesians and Philippians - wonderful truths, revelations from our Creator, that you won't discover from self reflection.  Why?  They're revealed by God for the benefit and hope of his creatures - us.

Just for today...

"Focusing on ourselves simply means that when we acknowledge the situation as it actually is, we look at our options instead of looking at the options available to other people. We consider what is within our power to change instead of expecting others to do the changing."  Courage to Change (p. 359)

December 21st - Being kind and honest with you

The story...

Three nights ago, I dreamed that I purchased a new really-small cell phone.  Two nights ago, I dreamed that I was attempting to curl a 25lb dumbbell while sitting in a lazy-boy chair - I wasn't able to lift it beyond 90 degrees.  I was surprised to see a large bundle of blood veins protruding from my arm and snagged onto something on the floor.  Last night, I experienced multiple dreams of adventure that included my college-aged siblings and a new job in an old building where I'd discovered a new tea that I'd mixed up in a blue-Rubbermaid container. 

In my waking hours, I'm concerned about changes in the lumbar region of my lower spine - the limitations are affecting my life and the medical system's ability to restore me to my previous physical capability is questionable.  Whatever course my spinal changes lead me, I hope that I remain peacefully grounded in the reality of my situation and that I don't need to look to my subconscious mind to discover what's going on.  Yes, I will to be honest and humble with my condition as I walk the next part of my life journey.  I've heard we are humblest when we live most closely to the truth - in the "Light."

Is being honest and accepting, while staying grounded within current reality, part of being kind to me?  Is a position of strength and peace found where I can see, understand, accept, and continue my journey down the right and good path towards the Celestial City while trusting God?  Yes, that was a reference to John Bunyan's allegory - Pilgrim's Progress.

Some really good books... I've more time and life-space to read.

The only church in town will tend to be an honest, kind, and loving sort of place.  Congregant's most important needs will be met as relationships are worked out - with God and others too.  The church will be big enough that people will have opportunities to walk their life path with friends who they can relate to, and grow with, in an honest and kind sort of way.

 

Just for today...

"Somewhere in my past I got the message that to think of myself first was wrong, that it was my duty to care for everyone else. As a consequence, I was never ready to take care of myself and so became a burden to those around me . . . In fact, improving myself is the only real action available to me . . . Why should others bother to follow my example if I can't take care of my own affairs? . . . To give advice to others is to intrude; to give advice to myself is to grow."   Courage to Change (p. 356)

December 16th - Can't understand everything; yet, seeking to understand is good

The story...

The advanced path through mathematics was available to me throughout my education.  However, much of my time "doing math" was spent attempting to receive good grades rather than working to understand mathematical proofs based on fundamental axioms.  The better way was to: follow my teacher's guidance towards understanding the why(s); working more examples than I wanted to; and applying this structured way of thinking to real-life applications.  This mathematical structured thinking became an integral part of my mind.

As a graduate teacher, I encountered varying degrees of understanding regarding the application of mathematical equations, principles and practices.  Some of my students were from other countries where they learned to solve math problems using different methods - I had a difficult time verifying their work.  So, I required them to show their work according to methods that I, the teacher, understood.  I directed them to Kahn- Academy for examples that we could mutually understand. 

In or about 2012, I decided to complete all of the math courses on Kahn Academy from addition through differential equations.  I scheduled one-to-two hours per day over the course of three or four months - I was surprised at how I more easily understood and integrated the various subjects that took me 16 years to initially learn.

The only church in town will be a place of instruction, practice, and the application of good-to-great life principles.  There will be math guys, like me, and non-math folks, like most of us, who'll enjoy growing together.  Community is much more capable than any one member.

Just for today...

"I don't have to understand everything . . . feel threatened by the future . . . feel guilty about the past . . . feel alone . . . take responsibility for other people's choices . . . give up my hope and dreams."  Courage to Change (p. 351)

"What coping behaviors do I use to soothe my pain? Are they really helping me?"  Hope for Today (p. 351)

December 1st - Caring for others "in secret?"

The story...

Why is it helpful to keep our kind deeds or gifts secret?  Maybe it prevents unhealthy attachment to others for our own sake or benefit?  Maybe giving in secret helps us model outwardly an inward hope or reality in our hearts?  Maybe it allows us to actually experience the offering of love to another person - experiencing grace?   Maybe it's an outward way to resist our central tendency to promote and protect self?  Maybe it feels right because it intrinsically consistent with a good heart?

“1. Take care not to practice your righteousness in the sight of people, to be noticed by them; otherwise you have no reward with your Father who is in heaven. 2. So when you give to the poor, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, so that they will be praised by people. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. 3. But when you give to the poor, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4. so that your charitable giving will be in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you."  Matthew 6:1-4  (NASB)

Matthew exposes a selfish motive for giving and suggests an abnormal alternative.  This secret type of giving may be evidence of a good heart - one who does not need the approval of others or is worried about not having enough.  At a minimum, it describes a heart that wants to walk right with God and their fellow man - loving your neighbors as yourself.

The only church in town will proclaim God's truth, shining light on the darkness around us, making sense of even our motives behind giving.  It'll be a place where people can come to a right position with God in Christ.  Then they're able to work out this life with a confident hope - characterized by love and joy expressed from their innermost beings.  One that might naturally give in secret - gracefully.  Yet, much of these internal realities will be hidden within guarded people who work out their lives within a world that's dark - without reason for hope.

Just for today...

"Have I made progress in my effort to correct my faulty attitudes? Have I let discouragement plunge me back into my old habit patterns? When something I did had consequences that made life difficult for me, did I try to blame someone else?"  One Day at a Time (p. 336)

"I began to see that my way of caring often meant reacting and manipulating. I'd do something nice for someone because I wanted to be liked . . . Sometimes I wanted to attach myself and feed off someone mentally, emotionally, and spiritually . . . Sometimes what I call "love" is really just control."  Hope for Today (p. 336)

November 22nd - Rightly related to God?

The story...

I prefer a day: waking up at a consistent time thankfully with prayer; planning for & doing good; being honest within reality; loving me & others; exercising my body & mind - strengthening each; saying yes more than no; meditating without thinking about the clock; dispatching potentially obsessive thinking within five minutes; tuning into my virtual spiritual radio - albeit the station's "staticy;" giving - being kind & receiving kindness; feeding my body & soul; seeking to understand before being understood; walking forward on my pilgrimage alongside close friends; and being the person God created and wills me to be.  Yet, my free will chooses to do differently each day.  Why?

My noble motives for behaving differently, even in the opposite direction, include my: need to be safe from harm; personal protection boundaries; scarcity of resources; American dream of the good life; acceptance by others; need to fix, manage, and control other people towards my vision of "our" good; avoiding fears from the past, present, and future; desire to receive good grades from the judge(s); escape from unfavorable circumstances; pain avoidance; telling of my good life story; loyalty to my family; and justifications for the way things are - "justified."

I expect that the first paragraph is about being rightly related to God and the second paragraph is about self protection and promotion.  The first paragraph was possible because my unholy self nature was judged, found wanting, yet redeemed and reconciled with God, sin debt paid for, by God Himself in Christ - "I'm with Him."  My part was believing on God and His great redemptive work in Christ.

The second paragraph characterizes me working out life by me and for me.  Thankfully, my conscience and the Spirit of God convicts me of this wrong way of being before I cause too much harm.  He restores me daily in a loving way.  My life seems to be a continuing cycles of restoration that're heading in a good direction - like we might expect a loving Father to do for those who are His.

The PDCA model is good - yet, different - standardizing & sustaining change

The only church in town will learn and know that they can respond to His calling and be His.  They'll find fellow pilgrims to walk together with through life's circumstances.  Yes, a continuing series of restorative cycles that strengthen our need for receiving love from our heavenly Father - that kind of love is infectious - It can't stay still.  Love spreads far and wide - shining Light everywhere.

Just for today...

"Half an hour's meditation is essential except when you are very busy. Then a full hour is necessary."  Francis de Sales

"First I need to develop a relationship with God . . . Next, I learn to become at peace with myself . . .  I can't be that person when I'm overly controlled by guilt, fear, and resentment and negligibly aware of my gifts and talents . . . Lastly, I start acting responsibly toward others."  Hope for Today (p. 326)

"...conflicting views become merely different views, so our problems can be solved with tolerant understanding and mutual respect."  One Day at a Time (p. 326)

November 20th - Why listen to, or share, uncomfortable realities about me?

The story...

"What's my husbands name? . . . Do you even know how many kids I have? . . . Do you care? . . . It's all about you."  This was the stinging message that I heard from one of my trusted reports.  She was making the claim that I cared for what she could produce and not truly for her as a person.  Whoa . . . the facts were clearly true . . . but wasn't the workplace suppose to be about work, accomplishment, and my objectives?  Wait, I meant to say "our" objectives - or did I?  As a supervisor, I wasn't suppose to get too close or have favorites - was I?  I could've justified my behaviors but it didn't sit well - I knew she was speaking "her" truth.   Was it possible to be the same good man in all of my endeavors?

Surely there were good examples out there - real people who still had their skin on 'em - not merely a glorified biography of the ideal.  Then, a guy was transferred to my department.  His current supervisor suggested that I witness his performance appraisal delivery.  I was surprised to see a virtuous man, honestly and respectfully, delivering his performance assessment along with their mutual understanding of their working relationship.  Wow ... I wanted to be more like him.  That good man, leader, and friend of many, died a few years later from cancer - another life circumstance that didn't seem fair.

The only church in town will be built on relationships - less-guarded and honest relationships.  Yet, we can't realistically expect to relate well with everyone or even most people.  We're all different and most are operating in a different stage of life.  The community will be okay and respect all people as they "be."  Yet, they'll all share within a better way - trusting in God.

Just for today...

"Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want  to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations."  George Bernard Shaw

"What about those times when I heard truths about myself that left me feeling angry, embarrassed, or upset? When given the occasion to hear or speak an uncomfortable reality, I have choices. I can hear it and grow, I can share it and grow, or I can ignore it in favor of maintaining my comfort zone."  Hope for Today (p. 325)

October 31st - I'm okay in Christ

The story...

The numbness in both legs began a couple days ago - I noticed it when I was lovin' on my grand daughter while carrying her to the car after the hockey tournament.  The reality of my degenerating lumbar vertebrae can no longer be ignored.  My behavior must match the reality of my condition or my nervous system will give me direct and pointed feedback - ouch, reality's set in.

I expect that some nice person will call me today to schedule my MRI.  They'll insert my body in this big metal tube to take a 3D picture of this unseen reality.  I expect that two of the disks will be a bit flatter and protruded than before and that the stenosis will've narrowed the holes that my nerves are threaded through.  Yes, I'm now more aware of my limitations...

The surgeon told me about 14 years ago that he'd likely see me again in 15 years.  So, why did this catch me by surprise?  I couldn't help but notice that my height's shrinking as my disks flatten.  My spine doesn't care if I like the reality or not - it just is.  My only realistic choice is to adapt to what's true and how I'll move my body.  I can choose to be thankful for every miraculous breath, imagine an alternate reality, or whine and complain. 

The only church in town will offer opportunities to walk side-by-side others as we walk humbly with God.  A more honest life might be lived with a clearer, yet still cloudy, view of spiritual realities and the next life too.

Just for today...

"I'm attacked by thoughts of disaster. I imagine failure, torment, agony. And then I act. I do something rash or fruitless in order to put a bandage on the situation, because the one thing I most fear is being afraid."  Courage to Change (p. 305)

"I grew up in a family where scorn, criticism, and teasing were everyday modes of communication. To cope, I developed the ability to hide my pain and confusion behind sarcasm and ridicule. Making myself feel bigger and better by making fun of others never filled the emptiness I felt inside."  Hope for Today (p. 305)

October 28th - Engage in Today - the Now

The story...

What does the day look like for you?  I don't know as I write this story, self-aware, in history.  Strangely, that first sentence is in the past and I may need to reread it to remember what I wrote.  I must also remember what the first words of this sentence were in order to understand my intended message.

Today, I'm enjoying the "Just for Today" quotes that were written by others years ago.  They were highlighted as important to me years ago.  I'm considering, and making sense of them, in the present. And, they're conveyed to you from history.  You're enjoying them in the now - the present.

We've got today...

The only church in town will be built on wisdom - they'll focus on reality, where to go, and how to get there.  They'll trust what their Creator and Sustainer has revealed.  And, they'll meet and walk humbly/honestly with Him in the present.

Just for today...

"So it's in my best interest to treat others as I wish to be treated. I try to imagine that my words and actions are being addressed to myself, because in the long run I generally get back what I give out."  Courage to Change (p. 302)

"I've learned that if an issue isn't going to be important in 30 days, then it's probably not worth troubling myself with now."  Hope for Today (p. 302)

"Today is mine, It is unique. Nobody in the world has one exactly like it. It holds the sum of all past experience and the future of all potential."  One Day at a Time (p. 302)

September 27th - The virus wasn't worth fretting over

The story...

The virus symptoms lasted for 2.5 weeks.  Since it persisted past the two-week limit, I decided to call my primary-care doctor.  He likely wouldn't be able to identify the virus - he might've prescribed an anti-viral drug to boost my immune system.  Since I had only a basic understanding of immune systems, I listened to three related YouTube introductory videos.  I learned principals that helped me appreciate my body even more and to identify some of my behaviors and misunderstandings that may have hindered me.

He listened to my symptoms and physically inspected me - an intern with him also repeated some of the checks.  He asked for two blood samples to both check my immune system and to search for wasted muscle - he'd an idea of what it might be yet didn't tell me.  My blood was drawn at 3:30pm 9/01/2023.

Four days later, I was hoping to get the blood test results.  These data were to help my doctor prescribe a course of action to better my body and the life I live through it.  I speculated much over those three days -  I knew in part yet I'd likely know more in a few hours.

The virus continued on, I visited my primary physician once again and he asked for more blood tests.  The specific virus was never really known - the symptoms faded a way over a few weeks.

Suffering will be found in the only church in town yet, it won't be their focus.  They'll focus on the truth of God's good news and the blessings that're found by living out each day in the "Light" of day.

Just for today...

"If my life has become unmanageable, how can I get control of it? Am I being forced into doing things I don't want to do, like losing my temper, contriving, conniving and scheming to make things work out the way I want them?"  One Day at a Time (p. 271)

"If thou canst not make thyself such a one as thou wouldst, how canst thou expect to have another according to thy liking?"  Thomas Kempis - The Imitation of Christ

"If I knew what was coming, I suspect that I would spend all my time trying to run from painful experiences instead of living. I would miss out on so much great stuff." Courage to Change (p. 271)

September 19th - Hurt and Resentment or...

The story...

I wanted something from my dad that he couldn't give me.  Did he tell me that it was his to offer or did I just assume he could?  He did thigs with my older brother that he didn't do with me -  maybe there was something deficient in me?  I assumed that he was a "good" moral person because he did good stuff, was an upstanding member of the community, went to church, and served multiple roles in the church too.  His personality and gifts were different than mine and I couldn't be like him no matter how hard I tried.  So, what did I want from him that he couldn't give?  He did give me much.

I'd like to have known what a good life looked like and that I was worthy, capable and had the power to live one out.  I'd like to have been okay with me and my unique: capabilities, talents and self even though the people of the world seemed to continually challenge my worth.

These guys said I had the power - I don't think they had it to give.

My dad was a good man and good dad - he helped me much and did the best he could with what he had.  I wanted a close relationship with God, my dad, with a few close friends, with my family, eventually alongside a life partner and my community too - these relationships were illusive for me. I'm so thankful for them now.

The relationships that we need might be found within the only church in town.  They can be worked out within the will of God - He's got the power.

Just for today...

"I thought that resentment would prevent me from ever being hurt again . . . living my life under the heavy burdens of rage and resentment were hurting me . . . I experienced a spiritual awakening in the form of a deep desire to let go of those feelings that were poisoning my life . . . I gave up my bitterness and regained my life."  Hope for Today (p. 263)

August 20th - The Coach and the Whiner

The story...

He pondered my question and replied with a coaches honest, and most practical, reply.  My question: "How did you know if one of your football players was really hurt?"  He said: "It's easy, the whiners aren't hurt and the non-whiners are."  I've shared that story with 100's of other people.

Have I lived too much of my life as a whiner?  I don't think so yet I have.  I've had countless: scrapes, cuts, sprains, bruises, aches, head aches, loss of capability, financial losses, out-of-normal test results, missed job opportunities, and "no" answers.  Yet, the sun came up and shined light on a new day.  The darkness was illuminated and shown to be much better than I imagined.

I'm the old guy now who has more time and opportunities to listen, understand, and throw a ray of light, albeit somewhat dim, on other life journeys.  Do I have to be "mister right," the "wise owl," or the "great coach?"  No, it seems better to listen to understand, let'em know they're loved, shine some light on their darkness, and honestly/humbly walk side-by-side as a fellow life traveler.

"Footprints in the Sand" - A Most Wonderful Poem

How about taking a risk and attending the only church in town this week?  There you'll find light that can help you make sense of your darkness and fellow travelers who you might walk side-by-side with towards...

Just for today...

"Teach me to think straight, and not to take offense at criticism which is meant as loving guidance."  One Day at a Time (p. 233)

A good coach gives both constructive criticism and encouragement.

"...turning to emotionally unavailable people for support, and engaging in self-doubt and hate . . . I now see that these and other traits, not other people, are the source of my anguish." Hope for Today (p. 233)

"When I begin to accept myself exactly as I am, life will feel a lot more gentle."  Courage to Change (p. 233)

August 6th - What does a really good day look like in your daydreams?

The story...

There was a summer, during my middle-school years, when I didn't do much.  I delivered my daily newspapers, participated in family stuff, watched too much TV and daydreamed. Strangely, I remember contemplating my rather dull summer while thinking it really didn't make any difference - the summer was nearly over too for those who actually lived out the type of summer I hoped for.  Yes, that chunk of life was over for everyone.

Daydream - Lovin' Spoonful

What would I tell the teenage me If I could sit down with him back then?  Would I tell him about the good circumstances that awaited?  Would I tell the rather short me that I'd grow to be 6' 4" tall?  Would I tell him that it was better than he thought?  Would I share an appreciation fir the good that he actually had available?  Or would I tell him to focus on the greatest two commandments in the bible:  Love the Lord your God with all your heart, strength, and mind.  And, love your neighbor as yourself?  I expect what I really needed was to understand, be understood, and to learn to love and be loved just as I was.

Would you rather be loved in poor circumstances or unloved in favorable circumstances?  In my humble opinion, my best days are those where I'm loving my neighbors as myself.  A day when I'm a best friend to me which seems to serve as a source of strength for loving other people.  And, I can only love me if I'm right with, or at peace with, God the Father.

People attending the only church in town will hear about how they too might be right with God the Father through His provision.  The bible says faith in His Son's redeeming death, burial and resurrection positions people in Christ - a place where we can be rightly related to God and enjoy a most wonderful condition both now and forevermore. (Ephesians 1)

Just for today...

"I would put aside critical thoughts of others. I would notice interesting things - the expressions on people's faces, a plant growing on my windowsill, the grace and charm of a child, an arrangement of clouds. Today there are wonders all around me, if I will open my eyes and enjoy them."  One Day at a Time (p. 219)

August 4th - Express yourself - really

The story...

Yesterday, I listened to a guest speaker describe his perceived value of knowing the difference between his imagined self and his real self.  Yes, we all likely developed and refined an image of who we were to "better" cope with the realities of life. 

Our need to belong to, or fit in with, any group often leads to a sort of group think - a place where pleasing people and conforming to group norms is very important.  Bruce Lee describes his value of expressing himself within the following video.

Isn't it best to belong to and fit into the group that you identify with?  Isn't it polite and respectful to think and behave like the group?  You did have some control over the decision to join the group and possibly even become a "member."  

Visitors to the only church in town will likely find a different world view - a place where they might express a more true self.  It seems they'd start with themselves, then with others, and ideally with God too.  Or, it could be another place where they'd merely conform to the new group norms - if they feel group acceptance then they're okay?  Maybe they aren't okay if they merely fit in.

For me, it seems that we'd all want to be our true selves walking in a actual relationship with our Creator and God - being okay each day and expectantly living with eternity in view.  Yet, that means that our imagined self would need to be transformed in a sort of death.  Our imagined self, or ego, seems to want an environment that conforms with, and bolsters, this image that's been developed and refined throughout a lifetime.

Just for today...

"'But he knew what I expected,' not realizing that it may have been precisely for this reason that he rebelled and acted otherwise."  One Day at a Time (p. 217)

"Since my parents were my main authorities in my life until then, I expected my boss to treat me the same way my parents did.  I acted on the expectation by shutting down in fear.  If I felt uncomfortable about something in the workplace, I kept quiet. When I felt my employee rights were violated, I stuffed my anger."  Hope for Today (p. 217)

July 24th - My will isn't God's will yet God created me with a will.

The story...

This Friday's trip to Ludington State Park, on on my new yellow-KLR motorcycle, was wonderful.  I rode a new route and saw things that I'd previously ignored.  It seems I was often rushing in a quest to either get to a better place or to rush home as quickly as possible. 

Wow! Ludington Pumped Storage Plant

The weather was good, the people were friendly, the waitress was extra helpful, and the state park looked just like I left it - there were nice improvements.  Yet, the highlight of my trip plan was to cast a yellow-red Daredevil spoon off of the Lake Hamlin sand dunes - I imagined catching that Northern Pike. I planned for it, willed it, hiked there, had the stuff, and even the weather to make it happen. Yes, I was attempting to "bend" reality according to my will.  To my dismay, the area had too many boats and my secondary fishing site had two people wading in the bay!  My imagined reality wasn't going to happen.

I prayed a short prayer of thankfulness and remembered that God's will wasn't my will  Obviously, He has a different and righter plan than I could imagine.  So, I walked back to the parking lot with maybe five casts - silver, #3 Mepps spinner, no buck tail - along the way.  I sat down on a bench and closed my eyes for a few minutes.  The scene was comfortable, peaceful, and the sounds of the kids playing at the beach were joyful.  I gathered myself, picked up my rod, and sauntered along the shoreline to the dam.  There was an old man fishing below the dam who shared that he had no luck.  He wished me the best and on my third cast I caught the Pike I had hoped for - it was a joyful experience.

I do wear a big shoe...

There were always reasons for doing what I've done in my life.  I've made a series of reasonable choices, within the confines of my environment(s) and capabilities, to end up here.  Good situations sometimes resulted in increasing pride and smugness that led to downfalls while trials often resulted in a better, more capable, and thankful, me.  I'm thankful for everything about my life thus far.

God made us with a will to work out our life yet He intervenes through His sovereign will as He wishes.  We can ignore Him and reap the consequences of a self-willed life, trying to bend reality, or trust Him and experience increasing heart-felt joy and peace.  How could our will ever come close to the will of God for our lives?

The only church in town would share God's revealed truth for both eternity and this life too.  They'd share scripture like 1 Corinthians 15 so that people might hear and believe in God's provision for us, His creatures.  What an awesome wonder to be able to humbly and rightly walk with God in Christ. 

Just for today...

"At that moment of smug self-righteousness, God decided to send me a spiritual awakening. He told me that perhaps they understood more about Him than I did.  After all, they were the ones who were happy and free, filled with peace. Perhaps I could learn something from them if I opened my mind enough to listen and opened my heart enough to risk getting involved..."  Hope for Today (p. 206)

July 23rd - Am I trying to bend reality according to my will?

The story...

There are reasons for why I did the things that I did.  Reasons for the good and reasons for the not so good.  Sometimes I ignored information and put on rose-colored glasses to gloss over the truths that would prevent me from working out my will.

Ambervision glasses were good - the world looked better

I learned to be more honest with me and my situation; understanding more fully, albeit incompletely, the way God views my condition and life.  With this in mind, why do I continue to have resentments, for what other people did, crop up into my mind?  I know that the thoughts aren't good for me, or anybody else, yet they seem to reside somewhere, dormant, in the back of my mind.  Do they stay around to reduce the risk of a reoccurrence?

People within the only church in town will need healthy boundaries to work out their faith and life amongst the wide range of people who are likely working out their phase of life the best they can.  Life looks better without willing life to be different or attempting to bend reality.  Our honest humility opens up our trust in God and maybe a few close friends too.  Truly, rest, peace can be found in reality walking humbly with God.

Just for today...

"I am no longer a victim, full of self-pity and bent on control of every aspect of my life." Courage to Change (p. 205)

"Resentments mark the place where I see myself as a victim . . . Feeling resentments was like drinking poison and hoping that the other person would die! . . .  What do I get out of feeling like a victim? . . . I felt protected by my resentments. They acted as a barbed-wire fence to keep away the people I felt had hurt me.  The problem was I kept pricking my own skin on the barbs.  I also was comfortable with my resentments."  Hope for Today (p. 205)

July 20th - Why live in an imaginary reality?

The story...

Males in my mother's and father's families were all balding except for one.  My receding hairline and "spot" were visible in my wedding pictures.  I knew it was happening yet it crept up slowly.  Then, there was the day that my friend who cut my hair, Penny, reached for the electric cutter rather than the scissors.  She admitted that trimmers would do just as good as scissors yet she appreciated both my business and our friendship.  The day that I finally accepted that I was bald and began cutting my own hair was a good one.  I let loose of the old and accepted the reality of the new.  Actually, there're advantages living in the reality of being a bald guy.  I could list a few, that you might not be aware of, but that's not what this story's about.

Living within the reality of our actual environment, mental, physical, and spiritual state is the best place to be - peace, well being, and joy can be found there.  Living in an imaginary place, within any of these dimensions, is like living in a house of cards.  Maybe hyped-up emotions are an indicator or sign that you might be living outside reality.  Might those over reactions and need to do exciting stuff, with amped-up emotions, indicate a life lived in the uncomfortable state of an imagined reality?   Are our emotions like gauges that might give us clues as to "What's going on?"

"What's going on?"  4 Non-Blondes

The only church in town would be a place where you can find out what's going on.  People who reach out in love may ask you.  And, most importantly, you can hear and better understand what God has revealed about what's really going on.

Just for today...

"By clutching at what we most want to keep, we lose it all the more rapidly . . . By letting go of our efforts to influence the future, we become freer to experience the present, to feel all of our feelings while they are happening, and to more full enjoy those precious moments of joy with which we are blessed."  Courage to Change (p. 202)

July 18th - No Man is an Island - Thomas Merton

The story...

The life of a monk, I'll never experience.  I do aspire to have the ability to write honestly and robustly about the actualities of my life and faith.  My ability to communicate my reality is hampered by my: limited communication skills; ability to understand my own heart; the few people I share the reality of my faith with; and the interference that my "self" causes. 

I'm so thankful for the faithful life of Thomas Merton - his honest description of his life journey, his faithful walk in Christ, and his ability to describe it so accurately and succinctly.  Contemplating his paragraph copied and cited below is helpful.  I'm not able to add to what he so succinctly presents - just for today.

Just for today...

"To consider persons and events and situations only in the light of their effect upon myself is to live on the doorstep of hell.  Selfishness is doomed to frustration, centered as it is upon a lie. To live exclusively for myself, I must make all things bend themselves to my will as if I were a god. But this is impossible. Is there any more cogent indication of my creaturehood than the insufficiency of my own will? For I cannot make the universe obey me. I cannot make other people conform to my own whims and fancies. I cannot make even my own body obey me.  When I give it pleasure, it deceives my expectation and makes me suffer pain. When I give myself what I conceive to be freedom, I deceive myself and find that I am the prisoner of my own blindness and selfishness and insufficiency."   Merton, Thomas, No Man is an Island (1955) (p. 24)

"I will not resist the impact of a new idea.  It may be just the one I've needed without being aware of it. I will make my mind more flexible and receptive to new points of view."  One Day at a Time (p. 200)

"... I can plant a seed in fertile soil, but I don't help the plant to grow by tugging at the seed in hope that it will sprout. I have to let the process unfold at its own pace."  Courage to Change (p. 200)