August 20th - The Coach and the Whiner

The story...

He pondered my question and replied with a coaches honest, and most practical, reply.  My question: "How did you know if one of your football players was really hurt?"  He said: "It's easy, the whiners aren't hurt and the non-whiners are."  I've shared that story with 100's of other people.

Have I lived too much of my life as a whiner?  I don't think so yet I have.  I've had countless: scrapes, cuts, sprains, bruises, aches, head aches, loss of capability, financial losses, out-of-normal test results, missed job opportunities, and "no" answers.  Yet, the sun came up and shined light on a new day.  The darkness was illuminated and shown to be much better than I imagined.

I'm the old guy now who has more time and opportunities to listen, understand, and throw a ray of light, albeit somewhat dim, on other life journeys.  Do I have to be "mister right," the "wise owl," or the "great coach?"  No, it seems better to listen to understand, let'em know they're loved, shine some light on their darkness, and honestly/humbly walk side-by-side as a fellow life traveler.

"Footprints in the Sand" - A Most Wonderful Poem

How about taking a risk and attending the only church in town this week?  There you'll find light that can help you make sense of your darkness and fellow travelers who you might walk side-by-side with towards...

Just for today...

"Teach me to think straight, and not to take offense at criticism which is meant as loving guidance."  One Day at a Time (p. 233)

A good coach gives both constructive criticism and encouragement.

"...turning to emotionally unavailable people for support, and engaging in self-doubt and hate . . . I now see that these and other traits, not other people, are the source of my anguish." Hope for Today (p. 233)

"When I begin to accept myself exactly as I am, life will feel a lot more gentle."  Courage to Change (p. 233)

August 6th - What does a really good day look like in your daydreams?

The story...

There was a summer, during my middle-school years, when I didn't do much.  I delivered my daily newspapers, participated in family stuff, watched too much TV and daydreamed. Strangely, I remember contemplating my rather dull summer while thinking it really didn't make any difference - the summer was nearly over too for those who actually lived out the type of summer I hoped for.  Yes, that chunk of life was over for everyone.

Daydream - Lovin' Spoonful

What would I tell the teenage me If I could sit down with him back then?  Would I tell him about the good circumstances that awaited?  Would I tell the rather short me that I'd grow to be 6' 4" tall?  Would I tell him that it was better than he thought?  Would I share an appreciation fir the good that he actually had available?  Or would I tell him to focus on the greatest two commandments in the bible:  Love the Lord your God with all your heart, strength, and mind.  And, love your neighbor as yourself?  I expect what I really needed was to understand, be understood, and to learn to love and be loved just as I was.

Would you rather be loved in poor circumstances or unloved in favorable circumstances?  In my humble opinion, my best days are those where I'm loving my neighbors as myself.  A day when I'm a best friend to me which seems to serve as a source of strength for loving other people.  And, I can only love me if I'm right with, or at peace with, God the Father.

People attending the only church in town will hear about how they too might be right with God the Father through His provision.  The bible says faith in His Son's redeeming death, burial and resurrection positions people in Christ - a place where we can be rightly related to God and enjoy a most wonderful condition both now and forevermore. (Ephesians 1)

Just for today...

"I would put aside critical thoughts of others. I would notice interesting things - the expressions on people's faces, a plant growing on my windowsill, the grace and charm of a child, an arrangement of clouds. Today there are wonders all around me, if I will open my eyes and enjoy them."  One Day at a Time (p. 219)

August 4th - Express yourself - really

The story...

Yesterday, I listened to a guest speaker describe his perceived value of knowing the difference between his imagined self and his real self.  Yes, we all likely developed and refined an image of who we were to "better" cope with the realities of life. 

Our need to belong to, or fit in with, any group often leads to a sort of group think - a place where pleasing people and conforming to group norms is very important.  Bruce Lee describes his value of expressing himself within the following video.

Isn't it best to belong to and fit into the group that you identify with?  Isn't it polite and respectful to think and behave like the group?  You did have some control over the decision to join the group and possibly even become a "member."  

Visitors to the only church in town will likely find a different world view - a place where they might express a more true self.  It seems they'd start with themselves, then with others, and ideally with God too.  Or, it could be another place where they'd merely conform to the new group norms - if they feel group acceptance then they're okay?  Maybe they aren't okay if they merely fit in.

For me, it seems that we'd all want to be our true selves walking in a actual relationship with our Creator and God - being okay each day and expectantly living with eternity in view.  Yet, that means that our imagined self would need to be transformed in a sort of death.  Our imagined self, or ego, seems to want an environment that conforms with, and bolsters, this image that's been developed and refined throughout a lifetime.

Just for today...

"'But he knew what I expected,' not realizing that it may have been precisely for this reason that he rebelled and acted otherwise."  One Day at a Time (p. 217)

"Since my parents were my main authorities in my life until then, I expected my boss to treat me the same way my parents did.  I acted on the expectation by shutting down in fear.  If I felt uncomfortable about something in the workplace, I kept quiet. When I felt my employee rights were violated, I stuffed my anger."  Hope for Today (p. 217)

July 24th - My will isn't God's will yet God created me with a will.

The story...

This Friday's trip to Ludington State Park, on on my new yellow-KLR motorcycle, was wonderful.  I rode a new route and saw things that I'd previously ignored.  It seems I was often rushing in a quest to either get to a better place or to rush home as quickly as possible. 

Wow! Ludington Pumped Storage Plant

The weather was good, the people were friendly, the waitress was extra helpful, and the state park looked just like I left it - there were nice improvements.  Yet, the highlight of my trip plan was to cast a yellow-red Daredevil spoon off of the Lake Hamlin sand dunes - I imagined catching that Northern Pike. I planned for it, willed it, hiked there, had the stuff, and even the weather to make it happen. Yes, I was attempting to "bend" reality according to my will.  To my dismay, the area had too many boats and my secondary fishing site had two people wading in the bay!  My imagined reality wasn't going to happen.

I prayed a short prayer of thankfulness and remembered that God's will wasn't my will  Obviously, He has a different and righter plan than I could imagine.  So, I walked back to the parking lot with maybe five casts - silver, #3 Mepps spinner, no buck tail - along the way.  I sat down on a bench and closed my eyes for a few minutes.  The scene was comfortable, peaceful, and the sounds of the kids playing at the beach were joyful.  I gathered myself, picked up my rod, and sauntered along the shoreline to the dam.  There was an old man fishing below the dam who shared that he had no luck.  He wished me the best and on my third cast I caught the Pike I had hoped for - it was a joyful experience.

I do wear a big shoe...

There were always reasons for doing what I've done in my life.  I've made a series of reasonable choices, within the confines of my environment(s) and capabilities, to end up here.  Good situations sometimes resulted in increasing pride and smugness that led to downfalls while trials often resulted in a better, more capable, and thankful, me.  I'm thankful for everything about my life thus far.

God made us with a will to work out our life yet He intervenes through His sovereign will as He wishes.  We can ignore Him and reap the consequences of a self-willed life, trying to bend reality, or trust Him and experience increasing heart-felt joy and peace.  How could our will ever come close to the will of God for our lives?

The only church in town would share God's revealed truth for both eternity and this life too.  They'd share scripture like 1 Corinthians 15 so that people might hear and believe in God's provision for us, His creatures.  What an awesome wonder to be able to humbly and rightly walk with God in Christ. 

Just for today...

"At that moment of smug self-righteousness, God decided to send me a spiritual awakening. He told me that perhaps they understood more about Him than I did.  After all, they were the ones who were happy and free, filled with peace. Perhaps I could learn something from them if I opened my mind enough to listen and opened my heart enough to risk getting involved..."  Hope for Today (p. 206)

July 23rd - Am I trying to bend reality according to my will?

The story...

There are reasons for why I did the things that I did.  Reasons for the good and reasons for the not so good.  Sometimes I ignored information and put on rose-colored glasses to gloss over the truths that would prevent me from working out my will.

Ambervision glasses were good - the world looked better

I learned to be more honest with me and my situation; understanding more fully, albeit incompletely, the way God views my condition and life.  With this in mind, why do I continue to have resentments, for what other people did, crop up into my mind?  I know that the thoughts aren't good for me, or anybody else, yet they seem to reside somewhere, dormant, in the back of my mind.  Do they stay around to reduce the risk of a reoccurrence?

People within the only church in town will need healthy boundaries to work out their faith and life amongst the wide range of people who are likely working out their phase of life the best they can.  Life looks better without willing life to be different or attempting to bend reality.  Our honest humility opens up our trust in God and maybe a few close friends too.  Truly, rest, peace can be found in reality walking humbly with God.

Just for today...

"I am no longer a victim, full of self-pity and bent on control of every aspect of my life." Courage to Change (p. 205)

"Resentments mark the place where I see myself as a victim . . . Feeling resentments was like drinking poison and hoping that the other person would die! . . .  What do I get out of feeling like a victim? . . . I felt protected by my resentments. They acted as a barbed-wire fence to keep away the people I felt had hurt me.  The problem was I kept pricking my own skin on the barbs.  I also was comfortable with my resentments."  Hope for Today (p. 205)

July 20th - Why live in an imaginary reality?

The story...

Males in my mother's and father's families were all balding except for one.  My receding hairline and "spot" were visible in my wedding pictures.  I knew it was happening yet it crept up slowly.  Then, there was the day that my friend who cut my hair, Penny, reached for the electric cutter rather than the scissors.  She admitted that trimmers would do just as good as scissors yet she appreciated both my business and our friendship.  The day that I finally accepted that I was bald and began cutting my own hair was a good one.  I let loose of the old and accepted the reality of the new.  Actually, there're advantages living in the reality of being a bald guy.  I could list a few, that you might not be aware of, but that's not what this story's about.

Living within the reality of our actual environment, mental, physical, and spiritual state is the best place to be - peace, well being, and joy can be found there.  Living in an imaginary place, within any of these dimensions, is like living in a house of cards.  Maybe hyped-up emotions are an indicator or sign that you might be living outside reality.  Might those over reactions and need to do exciting stuff, with amped-up emotions, indicate a life lived in the uncomfortable state of an imagined reality?   Are our emotions like gauges that might give us clues as to "What's going on?"

"What's going on?"  4 Non-Blondes

The only church in town would be a place where you can find out what's going on.  People who reach out in love may ask you.  And, most importantly, you can hear and better understand what God has revealed about what's really going on.

Just for today...

"By clutching at what we most want to keep, we lose it all the more rapidly . . . By letting go of our efforts to influence the future, we become freer to experience the present, to feel all of our feelings while they are happening, and to more full enjoy those precious moments of joy with which we are blessed."  Courage to Change (p. 202)

July 18th - No Man is an Island - Thomas Merton

The story...

The life of a monk, I'll never experience.  I do aspire to have the ability to write honestly and robustly about the actualities of my life and faith.  My ability to communicate my reality is hampered by my: limited communication skills; ability to understand my own heart; the few people I share the reality of my faith with; and the interference that my "self" causes. 

I'm so thankful for the faithful life of Thomas Merton - his honest description of his life journey, his faithful walk in Christ, and his ability to describe it so accurately and succinctly.  Contemplating his paragraph copied and cited below is helpful.  I'm not able to add to what he so succinctly presents - just for today.

Just for today...

"To consider persons and events and situations only in the light of their effect upon myself is to live on the doorstep of hell.  Selfishness is doomed to frustration, centered as it is upon a lie. To live exclusively for myself, I must make all things bend themselves to my will as if I were a god. But this is impossible. Is there any more cogent indication of my creaturehood than the insufficiency of my own will? For I cannot make the universe obey me. I cannot make other people conform to my own whims and fancies. I cannot make even my own body obey me.  When I give it pleasure, it deceives my expectation and makes me suffer pain. When I give myself what I conceive to be freedom, I deceive myself and find that I am the prisoner of my own blindness and selfishness and insufficiency."   Merton, Thomas, No Man is an Island (1955) (p. 24)

"I will not resist the impact of a new idea.  It may be just the one I've needed without being aware of it. I will make my mind more flexible and receptive to new points of view."  One Day at a Time (p. 200)

"... I can plant a seed in fertile soil, but I don't help the plant to grow by tugging at the seed in hope that it will sprout. I have to let the process unfold at its own pace."  Courage to Change (p. 200)

July 16th - EGO maintenance or replacement?

The story...

A Human Resources representative delivered a 360 degree performance evaluation to me and summarized the feedback that she received with one phrase: "It's all about you."  I appreciated the honest feedback yet it stung.  Sure I talk about me and what I'm interested in most.  Who else's ideas could I share?  Okay, I didn't know the names of my work-group's family members - why is that a problem?  I'm a story teller, who else's stories can I tell?  The feedback was valuable and I never forgot it.  It took effort and courage to develop and deliver that feedback to me - I'm extremely grateful that she succinctly delivered the feedback in a manner that I received it.  My self awareness grew much that day.

So, my ego is that part of my conscience mind which I consider myself.  It's who I'm referring to when I use the word "I."  Is it a worthy endeavor to better understand and value my ego?  When does self-awareness and development turn that nasty corner toward narcissism?   Am, I lovable as I am?  Can I love me without being consumed by self-love and falling into loneliness and despair?  What's a healthy level of self-esteem?

My favorite verse of the bible is a wish that the Apostle Paul sends to a congregation of people in Rome whom he'd never met.  I wish the same thing for me and for you too.  

"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."  Romans 15:13 NASB

The "selves" who walk into the only church in town would find what they're looking for in a right relationship with God and His community.  There they may find that healthy ego that enables a person to live a more satisfying, joyful, peaceful, and fruitful life.  Hopefully they'll witness, meet, and walk with people who're trusting God.

Why is it so hard for a man to bend his knee and trust in God and His provision for the "good" life?  Why is faith in God and His Word soo... elusive for most people?  The self seems to rebel against this threat to it's supreme authority and preeminence.  It's almost like our old self is trying to save itself from being transformed from that caterpillar to the butterfly.

Just for today...

"Maturity is the capacity to withstand ego-destroying experiences, and not lose one's perspective in the ego-building experiences."  Robert K. Greenleaf

“Despair is the absolute extreme of self-love. It is reached when a person deliberately turns his back on all help from anyone else in order to taste the rotten luxury of knowing himself to be lost.”  Thomas Merton

July 9th - Is denying reality a reasonable coping skill?

The story...

The orthopedic surgeon showed me an MRI picture of my spine - the source of my misery.  Yes, there was a surgical method to control or "fix" the problem.  To help put the surgery choice in perspective he showed me an MRI image of an old woman's spine that looked like a stack of crumbled bones - she lived pain free.  How did she live without pain?  She was a peaceful woman whose back muscles were relaxed.  If she tensed her strong back muscles around those crumbled bones then she surely could've produced pain and all the anxieties that go along with it.

I chose the surgery option and it was successful.  For a season, I experienced relief from the pain caused from my back muscle tension around my crumbling spine and that bundle of nerves.  My current reality is less restrictive and enjoyable then my past reality with the Spondylolisthesis.  I'm glad I faced the reality of my situation and chose what seemed to be the best option.  There were many who offered their do-nothing opinion based on the fearful consequences and peril that my surgery decision might mean.

Within the only church in town, attenders will witness those who live a peaceful life throughout the inevitable circumstances of each stage of life.  They will hear about and witness real and fruitful relationships with God and people who seem to love themselves and their neighbors too.  That's eternal truth and reality revealed by God in scripture.  No, He didn't create this world and life and leave us alone.

A dishonest life? .. Sleepless in Seattle

Just for today...

"What kind of stuff is self-pity made of, that it can entrench in my mind and keep me miserable? . . . Self pity comes from concentrating on the negative aspects of life. . . To expect life to be tailored to our specifications is to invite frustration."  One Day at a Time (p. 191)

"... many of us coped with an ever-changing situation in which our sense of reality changed from one minute to the next . . . we were devastated because reality didn't go away just because it was ignored.  Our lives will remain unmanageable  as long as we pretend that only half of the truth is real . . .  I can't cope with something unless I acknowledge its reality."  Courage to Change (p. 191)

July 7th - Does an Unwanted Opinion Rust Relationships?

The story...

A good friend recently hurt a joint while performing a new activity where they've found fun, new friends, and success too - the good fit they were looking for.  So, they're ignoring the pain and wanting to believe an alternate reality that allows them to continue on this new path towards happiness.  They know the right thing to do yet they don't want to accept it.   Advice to take a pause, or even see a doctor, may be viewed as unwanted criticism.

I actually did treat them like a neighbor and listened with the intent of understanding where they were at.  Yes, I used reflective listening and empathized with their situation.  They did reach, what seems like, a good conclusion and our relationship seemed to be bolstered too.

It's been a great joy to care for other people without even offering a hint of opinion related to how they might best work out their lives.  This seems to be an ingredient for better understanding others and real personal growth too.

Yes, the only church in town will be a place where your neighbors congregate.  More loving relationships with self, neighbors and our God in Christ.

Trader Joes - where neighbors meet up?

Just for today...

"Obsessively reviewing everyone's behavior focuses my attention where it doesn't belong . . . I can consider the part I played . . . Instead of wringing my hands and pointing my finger, I can consider the possibility that everything is happening exactly as it should."  Courage to Change (p. 189)

"To withdraw from an argument may not make you the winner, but what you have saved is your own dignity and grace."  One Day at a Time (p.189)

June 28th - Relationships are found in the present

The story...

Freddy Fender's song "Wasted days and wasted nights" describes a man who's blue due to the choices of the girl which are beyond his control and influence.  He seems camped in his memories where he hoped that things would've been different - if only... then he'd be "all set."  He seems stuck in the past and wasting his present reality.

I wish that I could take back the wasted days and wasted nights of trying to relive the past.  Strangely, my imagined perspective of my past is likely far different from the actual perspectives of those who shared it with me.  To compound the problem further, those who shared your past were likely focused on themselves, only perceived a small part of what was going on, and now likely can't recall anything about those days that were not so important to them.  Are they important to your current reality?

For my momma's birthday present, I loaded up an electronic photo frame with pictures from my mother's past.  It actually creeped me out as I left it on our dining room table prior to giving it to her.  She seemed to have a similar reaction to it too.  Reality, in the present, is the best place to be - that's where your relationships are.  And, the present is where you meet with God too.

The only church in town will work out their faith in the present.  They'll enjoy the presence of God and their savior the Lord Jesus the Christ. 

Just for today...

"I spent most of my life having expectations of , and making unrealistic demands on, everyone around me . . . the person I was hardest on was myself . . . Members encouraged me to eliminate 'have-tos' and 'shoulds' and to slow down so that I could consciously choose which changes felt right to me."  Hope for Today (p. 180)

"My life is too important to be wasted waiting for someone else's choices, even when it's someone I dearly love."  Courage to Change (p. 180)

"How happy and useful I could be if I weren't carrying around such a load of unpleasant emotional turmoil.  No one asks me to, so why do I?"  One Day at a Time (p. 180)

June 24th - What's a Good Life?

 The story...

It's 6:37am and I don't know what'll happen today.  I and others have plans and a will for what we'd like to see happen.  Yet, all our plans don't fit together into that one jigsaw puzzle that'd look like our good day.

As a professor, I was responsible for advising my graduate students regarding their course selections in the light of their career plans and vision for working out their good life.  I rarely heard a good description of what they thought a good life would look like or even if the concept had merit.  Most would ask me: "what is a good life?"

There are some life variables that we've some degree of control over.  We can decide to wake up at 6:00am and set our alarm(s) to increase the likelihood that we do wake up then.  We can forecast what's likely to happen and plan our days accordingly - like checking the weather.  Or, we can react to random variables as they come our way - like the unexpected behavior of other drivers out on the road.

Most likely 24.5 but was 19

The truth is that we can't count on our next breath.  It's truly a remarkable that you are alive and reading this blog posting.  We know that in the next moment we could experience: a stroke, a heart attack, being hit by an object, that head-on crash, that random bullet, catastrophic weather event, being fatally wounded by a rocket or a meteorite...

People within the only church in town will find all joy and peace from the God of Hope (Rom. 15:13). This hope is possible without regard to the wavering circumstances of our lives.  Our sovereign God offers His peace in the midst of life's circumstances for those who are His forever.

Just for today...

• Live more in the present.  
• Listen to others with the intent to understand.  
• Ask people for permission before sharing your perspective.

June 6th - I Make Mistakes - That's Good to Know

The story...

Recently, I rearranged and exchanged objects within both my garage and a room in the basement.  Within a week, I hit my forehead on a shelf in each place.  Both blows to my head hurt at impact, the painful feelings lingered for hours, they bled, and a scab was left over each.  Hopefully, this won't happen again - I cut and sanded the corner on one shelf and taped a piece of foam over the corner of the other. 

The sharp corner is now more friendly

It's hard to ignore my limitations when confronted with the "biophysical" feedback.  I could blame my mishaps on other people; but, in both instances, I rearranged both places and I rushed to grab both objects within my new setup.  I could ignore or hide the scabs and pretend the incidents didn't happen - keep it a secret.  Or, I could accept that I'm capable of making mistakes yet have good qualities too.

I chose to make a more honest assessment of my strengths, weaknesses, and current situation.  I expect that living in reality is part of loving myself unconditionally.  Accepting my reality and my limitations feels good and right.  Strangely my more humble acceptance seems to open my eyes and heart to more fully love my neighbors too.  Is humility an honest appreciation of my whole self - each part?

I expect that the only church in town would want to treat each others as neighbors.  Loving each other just the way they are.  Why?  Because they'd hear, read, and witness the love of God worked out through other limited creatures like themselves - with God gracefully doing the heavy-lifting - wow!

Just for today...

"When something upsetting happens, old memories of previous hurts often come back to haunt me.  This makes it difficult to stay in the present and I start living simultaneously in the past and future.  The outcomes of the past get projected onto present and future situations."   Hope for Today (p. 158)

"I am a human being with strengths and weaknesses, capable of achievements and mistakes.  Because I accept this, I can look closely at myself.  Today I will find something to appreciate and something to improve."  Courage to Change (p. 158)

June 3rd - Self-help books - Does your self need help?

The story...

Family members were reading an Og Mandino book; "You have to read it.  It teaches you how to live your life right.  It's an amazing story."  As a young man, I read the book - it was an amazing story.  The story was written with claims that suggested it was true; yet, I later realized that the story might not be true.  There was no internet then to check Wikipedia's version of the truth.  Yes, it was a fictional story.  Now, the lessons learned were meaningless - rules of thumb, principles, or ideas that might increase your odds of things going your way.  I chucked the book.

"If I could just dance like that then everything would be..."

The only church in town would preach and teach the way to have an ongoing and eternal relationship with God.  People would be different without "trying" to be better.  People would be as they're gifted rather than futilely attempting to comply with all those "ought haves" and "should ofs."

Just for today...

"Defending ourselves by engaging in arguments with . . . irrational people is as fruitless as donning armor to protect ourselves from a nuclear explosion . . . I am not obligated to justify myself to anyone."  Courage to Change (p. 155)

"God, please lead me to those who can give me what I need and grant me the compassion to love those who can't."  Hope for Today (p. 155)

"A program of self-recognition and self-change 'reads easy and does hard.'"  One Day at a Time (p. 155)

May 31st - Dents and Stains Redeemed

The story...

I bought a new black Datsun 310 in 1981.  My best friend and his wife were my first riders.  He stepped in some kind of grease before sitting in the car - the 6" grease spot stayed on the carpet until the day I sold it.  

Then, you could drive fast in Tennessee without the worry of a speeding ticket.  When the car was a couple months old, I hit a guardrail while joy riding - the dented-rear fender stayed on the car until the day I sold it.

I moved the car to Ohio and Michigan before finally selling it - bought a new red Honda.  Years later, I found that Datsun in a junk yard, the greased-stained carpet and dented fender were still there - evidence. 

The dent's on the other side...

I try and sometimes make mistakes.  I want to be accepted and loved by other people.  Yet, they sometimes reject me or demean me by making light of me or my accomplishments - wounded pride.  In close relationships, I show my flaws and risk being hurt.  I can either hide my dents and stains or I can fully place my value in my relationship with my Creator - the only place where I must be truly okay.  He loves me just the way I am because He redeemed me - I'm His in Christ.  Scripture, my life walk, and His Spirit at work in me, confirm that I'm right with Him - even with my dents and stains.

I've skills and abilities yet I'm incomplete - I need our Creator and the group to walk through life rightly.  You can find a flawed, yet redeemed, group like that within the only church in town - show up.

Just for today...

"The world cannot be discovered by a journey of miles . . . only by a spiritual journey . . . by which we arrive at the ground at our feet, and learn to be at home."  Wendell Berry

"My self-esteem diminished whenever I made a mistake, didn't know something I was expected to know, did something wrong, or when something I unintentionally did or said ended up hurting someone . . . I believed my mistakes were proof of my failure at the one thing I was supposed to accomplish - perfection." Hope for Today (p. 152)

May 29th - Be Prepared to Do Your Duty

The story...

There was a season of my life when I frequently fished on a pier that jutted out into Lake Michigan.  It was a great place to enjoy; yet, a place that begged for awareness of the expected and unexpected - to be prepared.  You might cast your lure into the air and have a sea gull swoop down and grab your hook. You might hook a 50-year-old sturgeon.  Lightening may quickly arrive and find you as the highest point in the area.  Your back cast might hook another person in the neck.  You might slip on that slime and find yourself in 38 degree water, with a gash on your forehead, anchored down with water-filled boots.  Or, that rouge wave might sweep over the pier and take all the stuff and people with it.  

It'd seem that a person who decides to fish on the pier should also follow the Boy Scout Motto:  "Be Prepared" - be in a state of readiness in mind and body to do your duty.  Does that mean continuously turning ideas of all the "bad" unexpected things, that might occur, through your mind - like on a Rolodex?  How can you bear fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control when you're worrying about what "bad" thing might happen?  Can a person who expects doom and gloom really enjoy the life and relationships they've been given?

How would a deer make it through the day if it thought about all of the possibilities that might occur?  There's a group outside my window as I am writing this blog.  They seem thankful for the sunrise, each other, and trusting there needs will be met.  Are you thankfully trusting God's provision, enjoying the cards you're dealt, or do you expect doom and gloom and merely hope to get lucky?

Can't see 'em?  Look closer...

It makes sense to be with others who're prepared yet they're likely expecting you to help if needed too.  Within the only church in town, you'd be walking with other pilgrims through life with different capabilities, knowledge, experiences, gifts, abilities, perspectives, levels of preparedness and maturity too.  In the only church in town, problems and suffering will occur yet fruit will be born among the pain and suffering.  

Just for today...

"When we anticipate doom, we lose touch with what is happening now and see the world as a threatening place against which we must be on constant alert.  Most of our fears will never come to pass, and if they do, foreknowledge probably won't make us any better prepared."  Courage to Change (p. 150)

May 23rd - I still haven't found what I'm looking for - I'm still running...

The story...

U2's song, "I still haven't found what I'm looking for" resonates with me and many others too.  I've traveled far, grown much, enjoy a life of prayer, seen fruit born even through me, but I still haven't found what I'm looking for.  My inner-man desires something better.  A place that fits better, more fulfilling, "righter..."  I've seen glimpses within creation and through love demonstrated among people.  Yet, it's just not quite right...

Sistine Chapel - Not home yet

The only church in town would communicate, learn, share and work out what God has revealed about Him, us, and our future too.  No, I ain't home yet.

Just for today...

"I must go past all the tempting self-justification, the 'reasons' that lack the shine of truth.  I tell myself that self-deception can only damage me in giving me a foggy, unreal picture of the person I really am."  One Day a Time (p. 146)

May 15th - Don't Expect Much - You Might be Surprised.

The story...

My wife and I were sitting at an orientation session for freshman at a college that was founded on Christian principles.  I know I can't count on accurate memories of the past - I remembered the speaker as, Joe Stowell, a character in life who I admire - the actual speaker was Rex M. Rogers.  He shared that one out of ten of their professors were going through a personal crisis.  So, within each school year, there'd likely be at least one professor who wouldn't meet our expectations.  "Resist measuring the quality of the institution and it's messages based on your assessment of the people who work here."  

When I meet people, I likely: sense them, hear them, watch them, listen to them, interact with them, map their characteristics, and compare them to me and others I know.  Then I form a set of expectations for how they're likely to behave.  In my later years of life, I've thankfully minimized a last step of judging them as to whether they are "gooder" or "badder" than I thank they oughta be.

Curious George was my favorite character

When people behave in unexpected ways my interest and emotions are aroused.  I become curious.  I enjoy learning about people as they are as opposed to how "good they might be" if they were closer to my expectations as to who they oughta be.

I've heard that the course of each person's life was due to their genes, environment, randomness, and a series of reasonable choices.  If it weren't for the "grace of God" I'd be just as they are. 

I know that it's best to have a realistic set of expectations for people's behavior.  Some might say "hope for the best and accept the rest."  To me, it seems better to "don't expect too much and appreciate what you get."  Reality is a good place to live.

I hope that the only church in town would accept and gracefully love people just as they are.  If not for the grace of God...

Just for today...

 "Nobody but God knows what goes on inside another human being . . . I am not blameless . . . there is much to be changed in me."  One Day at a Time (p. 136)

"I needed to accept that they were operating at the highest level that they could at any given time . . . I accept their right not to change."  Hope for Today (p. 136)

May 10th: Peace in the present

 The story...

It seems that people would want to be at peace with themselves and with others - some tried in the anti-war peace movement in the 1960s.  Yet, people disappoint or hurt us, resources are limited, suffering occurs, our decisions have consequences, we hear of daily acts of violence, God's will is different from ours...

I decided to make a concerted effort to promote peace within my family by giving every member a "Peace Frog" t-shirt for Christmas a few years ago.  The picture below is on the back of one of my two shirts that I really don't wear.  I don't think that my family members wear theirs either.  Actually, I just put this shirt on underneath my V-neck sweater.  It feels more right inside my sweater than flashing it towards those who might see me.  

I don't think that we're peaceful people by nature.  Our efforts to work towards an imagined ideal are good yet I think that reality is a far better place to live.  Scripture says that our reality is that God provides the way for us to have peace with Him, our Creator.  When we creatures are at peace with our Holy Creator, He indwells us in the person of the Holy Spirit.  Through Him, we can bear peace like an apple tree bears apples.

I 'm often surprised when I witness peace worked out within a group of people in the light of day.  And, I expect that people would witness and enjoy the peace of God worked out through the people of the only church in town.  I want to hang out in a place like that - "Right On!"

Shalom

Just for today...

"My unexpected situation turned into a pleasure-filled gift, once I was willing to look at it differently." Hope for Today (p. 131)

"He that is in perfect peace suspects no one, but he that is discontented and disturbed is tossed about with various suspicions..."  Thomas à Kempis

May 8th - One-Minute Chunks of Life

The story...

Yesterday, a friend and I were discussing what it would be like to live close to half of our lives in the 30 second intervals that we might call the "present."  He got a bit uncomfortable with such a short period so we expanded the space to one minute.  It seemed right and good so we purposed to give it a try.  Was the experiment successful?  I don't know, yet I do believe that focusing on the present is worthy.  It's the time period where life's lived.

Blanchard and Johnson wrote a 1980's bestseller book "The One Minute Manager."  The book continues to be popular today.  Apparently, managers do their best too when they're working out their jobs and lives alongside co-workers in the present.  I wonder if that was the author's underlying theme yet my mind missed it as I wandered "to and fro."  

Today my intent will be to live in the 30-second intervals of the present, perceiving more, understanding, and communicating more calmly and purposefully.  Sounds like a good cake recipe.

Momma's birthday cake

Might the only church in town be a place where people might come to experience the present more fully?  I expect that there's a group norm that'll seem to push my behavior towards what's normal; yet, if my life bears fruit, as I walk humbly with God in the now, then maybe what's normal will begin to shift for the whole group?  Visitors might witness life being worked out in the present bearing fruit?

Just for today...

"I don't have to like reality, only to accept it for what it is.  This day is too precious to waste by resenting things I can't change."  Courage to Change (p. 129)

"Over time my plan has shifted from the accomplishments of a lifetime to adjusting my attitude one day at a time.  Instead of considering what I would do with my future, I now choose what I can do in the present."  Hope for Today (p. 129)

"If we surrender to God's guidance, it will cost us our self-will, so precious to us who have always thought we could dominate."  One Day at a Time (p. 129)