July 20th - Live in an imaginary reality?

The story...

Males in my mother's and father's families were all balding except for one.  My receding hairline and "spot" were visible in my wedding pictures.  I knew it was happening yet it crept up slowly.  Then, there was the day that my friend who cut my hair, Penny, reached for the electric cutter rather than the scissors.  She admitted that trimmers would do just as good as scissors.  Did we have to give up our regular meetings and friendship?  The day that I finally accepted that I was bald and began cutting my own hair was a good one.  I let loose of the old and accepted the reality of the new.  Actually, there're advantages living in the reality of being a bald guy.  I could list a few, that you might not be aware of, but that's not what this story's about.

Living within the reality of our actual: environment, mental state, physical condition, and spiritual experience is the best place to be - peace, well being, and joy can be found there.  Living in an imaginary place, within any of these dimensions, is like living in a house of cards.  Maybe hyped-up emotions are an indicator or sign that you might be living outside reality.  Might those over reactions, and need to do exciting stuff with amped-up emotions, indicate a life lived in the uncomfortable state of an imagined reality?   Are our emotions like gauges that might give us clues as to "What's going on?"

"What's going on?"  4 Non-Blondes

The only church in town would be a place where you can find out what's going on.  People who reach out in love may ask you.  And, most importantly, you can hear and better understand what God has revealed about what's really going on.

Just for today...

"By clutching at what we most want to keep, we lose it all the more rapidly . . . By letting go of our efforts to influence the future, we become freer to experience the present, to feel all of our feelings while they are happening, and to more full enjoy those precious moments of joy with which we are blessed."  Courage to Change (p. 202)

"Squinting distorts; Headphone fetter - Imagining's good; Reality's better."   Am I a Poet?

July 18th - No Man is an Island - Thomas Merton

The story...

The life of a monk, I'll never experience.  I do aspire to have the ability to write honestly and robustly about the actualities of my life and faith.  My ability to communicate my reality is hampered by my: limited communication skills; ability to understand my own heart; the few people I share the reality of my faith with; and the interference that my "self" causes. 

I'm so thankful for the faithful life of Thomas Merton - his honest description of his life journey, his faithful walk in Christ, and his ability to describe it so accurately and succinctly.  Contemplating his paragraph copied and cited below is helpful.  I'm not able to add to what he so succinctly presents - just for today.

Just for today...

"To consider persons and events and situations only in the light of their effect upon myself is to live on the doorstep of hell.  Selfishness is doomed to frustration, centered as it is upon a lie. To live exclusively for myself, I must make all things bend themselves to my will as if I were a god. But this is impossible. Is there any more cogent indication of my creaturehood than the insufficiency of my own will? For I cannot make the universe obey me. I cannot make other people conform to my own whims and fancies. I cannot make even my own body obey me.  When I give it pleasure, it deceives my expectation and makes me suffer pain. When I give myself what I conceive to be freedom, I deceive myself and find that I am the prisoner of my own blindness and selfishness and insufficiency."   Merton, Thomas, No Man is an Island (1955) (p. 24)

"I will not resist the impact of a new idea.  It may be just the one I've needed without being aware of it. I will make my mind more flexible and receptive to new points of view."  One Day at a Time (p. 200)

"... I can plant a seed in fertile soil, but I don't help the plant to grow by tugging at the seed in hope that it will sprout. I have to let the process unfold at its own pace."  Courage to Change (p. 200)

"You're new; I'm all known - Listen close; Seeds are sown." 
"Test anew; Wear awhile - Adapt and Grow; Gotta smile."
"Share the change; Others do - We're better; From me and you."     Am I a Poet?

July 16th - EGO maintenance or replacement?

The story...

A Human Resources representative delivered a 360 degree performance evaluation to me and summarized the feedback that she received with one phrase: "It's all about you."  I appreciated the honest feedback yet it stung.  Sure I talk about me and what I'm interested in most.  Who else's ideas could I share?  Okay, I didn't know the names of my work-group's family members - why is that a problem?  I'm a story teller, who else's stories can I tell?  The feedback was valuable and I never forgot it.  It took effort and courage to develop and deliver that feedback to me - I'm extremely grateful that she succinctly delivered the feedback in a manner that I actually accepted.  My self awareness grew much that day.

So, my ego is that part of my conscience mind which I consider myself.  It's who I'm referring to when I use the word "I."  Is it a worthy endeavor to better understand and value my ego?  When does self-awareness and development turn that nasty corner toward narcissism?   Am, I lovable as I am?  Can I love me without being consumed by self-love and falling into loneliness and despair?  What's a healthy level of self-esteem?

My favorite verse of the bible is a wish that the Apostle Paul sends to a congregation of people in Rome whom he'd never met.  I wish the same thing for me and for you too.  

"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."  Romans 15:13 NASB

The "egos" who walk into the only church in town would find what they're looking for in a right relationship with God and His community.  There they hear about a more healthy ego that enables a person to live a more satisfying, joyful, peaceful, and fruitful life.  Hopefully they'll witness, meet, and walk with people who're trusting in God.

Why is it so hard for a man to bend his knee and trust in God and His provision for the "good" life?  Why is faith in God and His Word soo... elusive for most people?  The self seems to rebel against this threat to it's supreme authority and preeminence.  It's almost like our old self is trying to save itself from being transformed from that caterpillar to the butterfly.

Just for today...

"Maturity is the capacity to withstand ego-destroying experiences, and not lose one's perspective in the ego-building experiences."  Robert K. Greenleaf

“Despair is the absolute extreme of self-love. It is reached when a person deliberately turns his back on all help from anyone else in order to taste the rotten luxury of knowing himself to be lost.”  Thomas Merton

"Creature adrift; Creator let go - Proudly alone; Lost in mirror."
"Ray of light; Darkness felt - Trusted Christ; Home again."   Am I a Poet?

July 9th - Are you coping by denying reality?

The story...

The orthopedic surgeon showed me an MRI picture of my spine - the source of my misery.  Yes, there was a surgical method to control or "fix" the problem.  To help put the surgery choice in perspective; he showed me an MRI image of an old woman's spine that looked like a stack of crumbled bones - "she lived pain free."  How did she live without pain?  He said she was a peaceful woman whose back muscles were relaxed.  If she tensed her strong back muscles around those crumbled bones then she surely could've produced pain and all the anxieties that go along with it.

I chose the surgery option and it was successful.  For a season, I experienced relief from the pain caused from my back muscle tension around my crumbling spine and that bundle of nerves.  My current reality is less restrictive and enjoyable then my past reality with the Spondylolisthesis.  I'm glad I faced the reality of my situation and chose what seemed to be the best option.  There were many who offered their do-nothing opinion based on the fearful consequences and peril that my surgery decision might mean.

Within the only church in town, attenders will witness those who live a peaceful life throughout the inevitable circumstances of each stage of life.  They will witness real and fruitful relationships with God and people who seem to actually love themselves and their neighbors too.  No, He didn't create us and leave us all alone.

A dishonest life? .. Sleepless in Seattle

Just for today...

"What kind of stuff is self-pity made of, that it can entrench in my mind and keep me miserable? . . . Self pity comes from concentrating on the negative aspects of life. . . To expect life to be tailored to our specifications is to invite frustration."  One Day at a Time (p. 191)

"... many of us coped with an ever-changing situation in which our sense of reality changed from one minute to the next . . . we were devastated because reality didn't go away just because it was ignored.  Our lives will remain unmanageable as long as we pretend that only half of the truth is real . . .  I can't cope with something unless I acknowledge its reality."  Courage to Change (p. 191)

"This is true; Light says so - It's still true; If'n I say NO!"   Am I a Poet?

July 7th - Unwanted Opinions Rust

The story...

A good friend recently hurt a joint while performing a new activity where they'd found fun, new friends, and success too - the good-life fit they were looking for.  So, they're ignoring the pain and wanting to believe an alternate reality that allows them to continue on this new path towards happiness.  They know the right thing to do; yet, they don't want to accept it.   Advice to take a pause, or even see a doctor, may be viewed as unwanted criticism.

I actually did treat them like a neighbor and listened with the intent of understanding where they were at.  Yes, I used reflective listening and empathized with their situation.  They did reach, what seems like, a good conclusion and our relationship seemed to be bolstered too.

It's been a great joy to care for other people without even offering a hint of opinion related to how they might best work out their lives.  This seems to be an ingredient for better understanding and actual personal growth together.

Yes, the only church in town will be a place where your neighbors congregate.  More loving relationships with self, neighbors and our God in Christ.

Trader Joes - where neighbors meet up?

Just for today...

"Obsessively reviewing everyone's behavior focuses my attention where it doesn't belong . . . I can consider the part I played . . . Instead of wringing my hands and pointing my finger, I can consider the possibility that everything is happening exactly as it should."  Courage to Change (p. 189)

"To withdraw from an argument may not make you the winner, but what you have saved is your own dignity and grace."  One Day at a Time (p.189)

"Let'em be; As they are - Grow together; Journey far."   Am I a Poet?

June 28th - Relationships are found in the present

The story...

Freddy Fender's song "Wasted days and wasted nights" describes a man who's blue due to the choices of the girl which are beyond his control and influence.  He seems camped in his memories where he hoped that things would've been different - if only... then he'd be "all set."  He seems stuck in the past and wasting his present reality.

We may wish we could take back the wasted days and wasted nights trying to relive our past.  Strangely, our imagined perspective of the past is likely far different from the actual perspectives of those who shared it with us.  To compound the problem further, those who shared your past were likely focused on themselves and perceived a small part of what was going on.  They likely recall little about those days that were not so important to them.  Are they truly important to your current reality?

For my momma's last birthday presents, I loaded up an electronic photo frame with pictures from my mother's past.  It actually creeped me out as I left it displaying on our dining room table prior to giving it to her.  She seemed to have a similar reaction to it too.  Reality, in the present, is the best place to be - that's where your relationships are.  And, the present is where you meet with God too.

The only church in town will work out their faith in the present.  Truly they'll learn about God and his creatures from our record of the past.  They'll also enjoy the presence of God; their savior the Lord Jesus the Christ; and other members of the body of Christ there too. 

Just for today...

"I spent most of my life having expectations of, and making unrealistic demands on, everyone around me . . . the person I was hardest on was myself . . . Members encouraged me to eliminate 'have-tos' and 'shoulds' and to slow down so that I could consciously choose which changes felt right to me."  Hope for Today (p. 180)

"My life is too important to be wasted waiting for someone else's choices, even when it's someone I dearly love."  Courage to Change (p. 180)

"How happy and useful I could be if I weren't carrying around such a load of unpleasant emotional turmoil.  No one asks me to, so why do I?"  One Day at a Time (p. 180)

"If she only; He won't say - Try in vain; Blocks my way."
"Try lovin me; No can do - God loves first; Makes love true."
"Redeemed by Christ; Be in peace - Life's anew; So's the lease."    Am I a Poet?

June 24th - What's a Good Life?

 The story...

It's 6:37am and I don't know what'll happen today.  I and others have plans and a will for what we'd like to see happen.  Yet, all our plans don't fit together into that one jigsaw puzzle that'd look like our good day.

As a professor, I was responsible for advising my graduate students regarding their course selections in the light of their career plans and vision for working out their good life.  I rarely heard a good description of what they thought a good life would look like or even if the concept had merit.  Most would ask me: "what is a good life?"

There are some life variables that we've some degree of control over.  We can decide to wake up at 6:00am and set our alarm(s) to increase the likelihood that we do.  We can forecast what's likely to happen and plan our days accordingly - like checking the weather.  Or, we can react to random variables as they come our way - like the unexpected behavior of other drivers out on the road.

Most likely 24.5 but was 19

The truth is that we can't count on our next breath.  It's truly remarkable that you are alive and reading this blog posting.  We know that in the next moment we could experience: a stroke, a heart attack, being hit by an object, that head-on crash, that random bullet, catastrophic weather, or even being squashed by a rocket or meteorite.

People within the only church in town will find all joy and peace from the God of Hope (Rom. 15:13). This hope is possible without regard to the wavering circumstances of our lives.  Our sovereign God offers His peace in the midst of life's circumstances for those who are His forever.

Just for today...

• Live more in the present.  
• Listen to others with the intent to understand.  
• Ask people for permission before sharing your perspective.
  

"I want this; May get that - Meet reality; Where it's at."
"She forms you; Maturing slow - Believe God there; Then ya'll grow"   Am I a Poet?

June 6th - I Make Mistakes - Okay

The story...

I rearranged objects within my garage and basement.  Within a week, I hit my forehead on a shelf in each place.  Both blows to my head hurt at impact, the painful feelings lingered for hours, they bled, and a scab was left over each.  Hopefully, this won't happen again - I cut and sanded the corner on one shelf and taped a piece of foam over another corner. 

The sharp corner is now more friendly

It's hard to ignore my limitations when confronted with "biophysical" feedback.  I could blame my mishaps on other people; but, it was me who rushed within my newly created environment.  I could ignore or hide the scabs and pretend the incidents didn't happen - keep it a secret.  Or, I could accept that I'm capable of making mistakes yet have good qualities too.

I chose to make a more honest assessment of my strengths, weaknesses, and current situation.  I expect that living in reality is part of loving myself unconditionally.  Accepting my reality and my limitations feels good and right.  Strangely, my more humble acceptance of me seems to open my eyes and heart to see and love my neighbors more too.

I expect that the people, who make up only church in town, would want to treat each others as neighbors.  Loving each other just the way they are.  Why?  Because they'd hear, read, and witness the love of God worked out gracefully - our Creator doing the heavy lifting - wow!

Just for today...

"When something upsetting happens, old memories of previous hurts often come back to haunt me.  This makes it difficult to stay in the present and I start living simultaneously in the past and future.  The outcomes of the past get projected onto present and future situations."   Hope for Today (p. 158)

"I am a human being with strengths and weaknesses, capable of achievements and mistakes.  Because I accept this, I can look closely at myself.  Today I will find something to appreciate and something to improve."  Courage to Change (p. 158)

"Double-u questions; Vex or help - Awarely asked; Grows strong."   Am I a Poet?

June 3rd - Self-help books - Does your self need help?

The story...

Family members were reading an Og Mandino book; "You have to read it.  It teaches you how to live your life right.  It's an amazing story."  As a young man, I read the book - it was an amazing story.  The story was written with claims that suggested it was true; yet, I later realized that the story might not be true.  There was no internet then to check Wikipedia's version of the truth.  Yes, it was a fictional story.  Now, the lessons learned were meaningless - rules of thumb, principles, or ideas that might increase your odds of things going your way.  I chucked the book.

"If I could just dance like that then everything would be..."

The only church in town would preach and teach the way to have an ongoing and eternal relationship with God.  People being different without "trying" to be better.  People would be as they're gifted rather than futilely attempting to comply with all those "ought haves" and "should ofs."

Just for today...

"Defending ourselves by engaging in arguments with . . . irrational people is as fruitless as donning armor to protect ourselves from a nuclear explosion . . . I am not obligated to justify myself to anyone."  Courage to Change (p. 155)

"God, please lead me to those who can give me what I need and grant me the compassion to love those who can't."  Hope for Today (p. 155)

"A program of self-recognition and self-change 'reads easy and does hard.'"  One Day at a Time (p. 155)

"Don this mask; They kinda say - Act like this; Be our way."
"You ain't good;  We're okay - Want their love; Try and obey."
"Faith in Christ; When you see - Loved and Loving, This you'll be."
"Rooms in heaven; Peace right here - Walk with Him; Hearts do cheer."   Am I a Poet?

May 31st - Dents and Stains Redeemed

The story...

I bought a new black Datsun 310 in 1981.  My best friend and his wife were my first riders.  He stepped in some kind of grease before sitting in the car - the 6" grease spot stayed on the carpet until the day I sold it.  

Then, you could drive fast in Tennessee without the worry of a speeding ticket.  When the car was a couple months old, I hit a guardrail while joy riding - the dented-rear fender stayed on the car until the day I sold it.

I moved the car to Ohio and Michigan before finally selling it - bought a new red Honda.  Years later, I found that Datsun in a junk yard, the greased-stained carpet and dented fender were still there - evidence. 

The dent's on the other side...

I try and sometimes make mistakes.  I want to be accepted and loved by other people.  Yet, they sometimes reject me or demean me by making light of me or my accomplishments - wounded pride.  In close relationships, I show my flaws and risk being hurt.  I can either hide my dents and stains or I can fully place my value in my relationship with my Creator - the only place where I must be truly okay.  He loves me just the way I am because He redeemed me - I'm His in Christ.  Scripture, my life walk, and His Spirit at work in me, confirm that I'm right with Him - even with my dents and stains.

I've skills and abilities; yet, I'm incomplete - I need our Creator and the group to walk through life rightly.  You can find a flawed, yet redeemed, group like that within the only church in town - show up.

Just for today...

"The world cannot be discovered by a journey of miles . . . only by a spiritual journey . . . by which we arrive at the ground at our feet, and learn to be at home."  Wendell Berry

"My self-esteem diminished whenever I made a mistake, didn't know something I was expected to know, did something wrong, or when something I unintentionally did or said ended up hurting someone . . . I believed my mistakes were proof of my failure at the one thing I was supposed to accomplish - perfection."  Hope for Today (p. 152)

"Old-pant fray; Saturday bliss - Friendly shirt; Just can't miss."
"Time to change; Friends you know - Dress up right; Ready for show."    Am I a Poet?

May 29th - Be Prepared to Do Your Duty

The story...

There was a season of my life when I frequently fished on a pier that jutted out into Lake Michigan.  It was a great place to enjoy; yet, a place that begged for awareness of the expected and unexpected - to be prepared.  You might cast your lure into the air and have a sea gull swoop down and grab your hook. You might hook a 50-year-old sturgeon.  Lightening may quickly arrive and find you as the highest point in the area.  Your back cast might hook another person in the neck.  You might slip on slime, fall into 38 degree water, gash your forehead, and be anchored down with water-filled boots.  Or, that rouge wave might sweep over the pier and take all the stuff and people with it.  

It'd seem that a person who decides to fish on the pier should also follow the Boy Scout Motto:  "Be Prepared" - be in a state of readiness in mind and body to do your duty.  Does that mean continuously turning ideas of all the "bad" unexpected things, that might occur, through your mind - like on a Rolodex?  How can you bear fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control when you're worrying about what "bad" thing might happen?  Can a person who expects doom and gloom really enjoy the life and relationships they've been given?

How would a deer make it through the day if it thought about all of the possibilities that might occur?  There was a herd outside my window as I am wrote this blog.  They seemed thankful for the sunrise, each other, and trusting their needs to be met.  Are you thankfully trusting God's provision and enjoying the cards you're dealt?  Or, do you expect doom, gloom and merely hope to get lucky?

Can't see 'em?  Look closer...

It makes sense to be with others who're prepared.  Helpers are likely expecting you to come with help if needed too.  Within the only church in town, you'd be walking with other pilgrims through life with different capabilities, knowledge, experiences, gifts, abilities, perspectives, levels of preparedness and maturity too.  Problems and suffering will occur; yet, fruit will be born among the pain and suffering.  

Just for today...

"When we anticipate doom, we lose touch with what is happening now and see the world as a threatening place against which we must be on constant alert.  Most of our fears will never come to pass, and if they do, foreknowledge probably won't make us any better prepared."  Courage to Change (p. 150)

"Eeyore's gloomy; Piglet antsy - Pooh's slow; Tigger's bouncy."
"Group's better; All of us - Friends together; On the bus."    Am I a Poet?

May 23rd - I still haven't found what I'm looking for - I'm still running...

The story...

U2's song, "I still haven't found what I'm looking for" resonates with "seekers."  I've traveled far, grown much, enjoy a life of prayer, seen fruit born even through me, but I still haven't found what I'm looking for.  My inner-man desires something better.  A place that fits better, more fulfilling, "righter..."  I've witnessed veiled glimpses of spiritual/eternal reality; yet, I want more.

Sistine Chapel - Not home yet

The only church in town would communicate, learn, share and work out what God has revealed about Him, us, and our future too.  No, I ain't home yet.

Just for today...

"I must go past all the tempting self-justification, the 'reasons' that lack the shine of truth.  I tell myself that self-deception can only damage me in giving me a foggy, unreal picture of the person I really am."  One Day a Time (p. 146)

"Seeking truth; Livin real - Loved & Lovin; The real deal."   Am I a Poet?

May 15th - Don't Expect Much - You Might be Surprised.

The story...

My wife and I were sitting at a freshman-orientation session at a college that was founded on Christian principles.  I only think I can't count on accurate memories of the past - I remembered the speaker as, Joe Stowell, a character in life who I admire - the actual speaker was Rex M. Rogers.  He shared that one out of ten of their professors were going through a personal crisis.  So, within each school year, there'd likely be at least one professor who wouldn't meet our expectations.  "Resist measuring the quality of the institution and it's messages based on your assessment of the people who work here."  

When I meet people, I likely: sense them, hear them, watch them, listen to them, interact with them, map their characteristics, and compare them to me and others I know.  Then I form a set of expectations for how they're likely to behave.  In my later years of life, I've thankfully minimized a last step of judging them as to whether they are "gooder" or "badder" than I thank they oughta be.

Curious George was my favorite character

When people behave in unexpected ways my interest and emotions are aroused.  I become curious.  I enjoy learning about people as they are as opposed to how "good they might be" if they were closer to my expectations as to who they oughta be.

I've heard that the course of each person's life was due to their genes, environment, randomness, and a series of reasonable choices.  If it weren't for the "grace of God" I may have wallowed in a bad place. 

I know that it's best to have a realistic set of expectations for people's behavior.  Some might say "hope for the best and accept the rest."  To me, it seems better to "don't expect too much and appreciate what you get."  Reality is a good place to live.

I hope that the only church in town would accept and gracefully love people just as they are.  If not for the grace of God...

Just for today...

 "Nobody but God knows what goes on inside another human being . . . I am not blameless . . . there is much to be changed in me."  One Day at a Time (p. 136)

"I needed to accept that they were operating at the highest level that they could at any given time . . . I accept their right not to change."  Hope for Today (p. 136)

"Don't expect much; They may surprise - Unexpected growth; Becoming wise."   Am I a Poet?

May 10th: Peace in the present

 The story...

It seems that people would want to be at peace with themselves and with others - some tried in the anti-war peace movement in the 1960s.  Yet: people disappoint or hurt us; resources are limited; suffering occurs; our decisions have consequences; we hear of daily acts of violence; God's will is different from ours...

I decided to make a concerted effort to promote peace within my family by giving every member a "Peace Frog" t-shirt for Christmas.  I really didn't wear the one pictured below.  I don't think that my family members wore theirs either.  Actually, I merely wore my peace shirt underneath a sweater.  It felt good to sport it without blaring the message towards others.

Humans don't seem peaceful by nature.  Efforts toward an imagined ideal seem good; yet, reality seems to be the better place to live.  Scripture shines light of truth regarding who God is; how we creatures can rightly relate with Him; and promise for our future with Him in Christ.  When we creatures are at peace with our Holy Creator, He indwells us in the person of the Holy Spirit.  Through Him, we're able to bear peace like an apple tree bears apples.

I 'm often surprised when I witness community peace worked out under the light of day.  People would witness and enjoy that kind of peace within the only church in town.  I want to hang out in a place like that - "Right On!"

Shalom

Just for today...

"My unexpected situation turned into a pleasure-filled gift, once I was willing to look at it differently." Hope for Today (p. 131)

"He that is in perfect peace suspects no one, but he that is discontented and disturbed is tossed about with various suspicions..."  Thomas à Kempis

"Peace be real; Lovin still - Livin together; This we will."   Am I a Poet?

May 8th - One-Minute Chunks of Life

The story...

Yesterday, a friend and I were discussing what it would be like to live close to half of our lives in the 30 second intervals that we might call the "present."  He got a bit uncomfortable with such a short period so we expanded the space to one minute.  It seemed right and good so we purposed to give it a try.  Was the experiment successful?  I don't know; yet, I do believe that focusing on the present is worthy.  It's the time period where life's lived.

Blanchard and Johnson wrote a 1980's bestseller book "The One Minute Manager."  The book continues to be popular today.  Apparently, managers do their best too when they're working out their jobs and lives alongside co-workers in the present.  I wonder if that was the author's underlying theme yet my mind missed it as I managed "to and fro."  

Today my intent will be to live in the 30-second intervals of the present, perceiving more, understanding, and communicating more calmly and purposefully.  Sounds like a good cake recipe.

Momma's birthday cake

Might the only church in town be a place where people come to experience the present more fully?  I expect that there's a group norm that'll seem to push my behavior towards what's normal; yet, if my life bears fruit, as I walk humbly with God in the now, then maybe what's normal will begin to shift for the whole group?  Visitors might witness life being worked out in the present while bearing fruit?

Just for today...

"I don't have to like reality, only to accept it for what it is.  This day is too precious to waste by resenting things I can't change."  Courage to Change (p. 129)

"Over time my plan has shifted from the accomplishments of a lifetime to adjusting my attitude one day at a time.  Instead of considering what I would do with my future, I now choose what I can do in the present."  Hope for Today (p. 129)

"If we surrender to God's guidance, it will cost us our self-will, so precious to us who have always thought we could dominate."  One Day at a Time (p. 129)

"Life's a wonder; Outside of me - Lots of beauty; We may see."
"Past is gone; Future's tomorrow - Life in the now; Do less sorrow."
"He's among us; Pray and listen - Joy and peace; Eyes may glisten."   Am I a Poet?

May 6th - "You don't know what you don't know."

The story...

I wish I'd received more honest feedback throughout my life.  I expect that people often didn't feel safe delivering their perceptions or ideas to me.  What would I say or how would I react?  I wrote most of my own performance appraisals; yet, I sincerely appreciated those that were written by my supervisor.  Some included constructive feedback and a clearer view towards what "better" might look like.  I truly did act on much of the feedback and became a better employee and person along the way.  

Strangely, one of my favorite sayings is "you don't know what you don't know."  Those truths and perceptions fit into one of the four quadrants in the following diagram - it's been helpful for me.  As a teacher, I've this need to explain what this grid is and how it might best be applied; yet, it's self explanatory.  You'll likely desire to increase the size of your quadrant "A" and more honestly assess the amount of potential knowledge to be found in each of your quadrants.

As I've grown as a person, I believe quadrants "A" and B" have become bigger and that quadrants "C" and "D." have become smaller.  As humans, I expect that we vastly minimize the size of quadrant "D."

The only church in town would hopefully grow their congregant's knowledge found in quadrants "A," "B" and "C."  Some of the unknowns in quadrants "B", "C" and "D," are revealed only in God's Word.   That's a good reason for attending your local church and trusting God.

Just for today...

"I put so much energy into hiding the truth that, although no one rejected me, I was as isolated and lonely as if they had."  Courage to Change (p. 127)

"I wasted large portions of my day lost in daydreams, rewriting the past with happy endings and doling out justice to those who had caused me harm."  Hope for Today (p. 127)

"You know stuff; I know more - We could share; Build our core."
"God knows what; His creatures need - Life is short; Like a seed."
"Eternity I'll be; A strong oak tree. - Trust Him now; Straight and free."   Am I a Poet?

May 4th - Mansion on the Hill

The story...

Are you okay with your character within the epic story of life?  I expect it's good to want to improve our condition yet it's probably more important to appreciate the good in what we got.

I remember imagining how great it would be to be a professor.  Graduate students working real projects alongside me and even stopping by my house to talk about their ideas and lives too.  I'd live in a one-story-brick house with a big front porch.  It'd never be winter on that tree-lined street where everybody felt welcomed.  We'd share our lives as we worked through the reality of this world and what might be.  I'd attend lectures, plays, and concerts.  Life would be bigger, wiser, and more fulfilling. 

The idea was compelling enough that I worked long and hard to earn my PhD and find that university job.  It was good; yet, it wasn't as I imagined.  I was tired at the end of a work day and looked forward to returning to my condo - away from campus, fellow professors, and the students too. 

Most people aren't alive and their time under the sun is over.  Biology, astronomy and the science leave me in awe of this "miracle" of life.  Wow, you and I are both alive if you're reading this sentence.  That's a big wow!

We can waste our life dreaming of a better reality, the "mansion on the hill," and miss the wonderful reality of what truly is.  Bruce Springsteen's album "Nebraska" does a good job of delving into the hopes, dreams, and the struggles of being human - the lyrics, guitar, harmonica and his comfortable voice resonated with my soul during a couple phases of my life.

We can look at life as good or bad.  Suffering breaks some people yet leads others to trust in God and His Word for their past, present and future.  I hope that the only church in town will be a place of joy and hope amidst suffering.  Their countenances and talk would speak of overflowing thankfulness for journeying though a life in Christ.   I hope we wouldn't find people commiserating in their futility - hoping for that fulfilling mansion on a hill.

Just for today...

"If a man happens to find himself, he has a mansion which he can inhabit with dignity all the days of his life."  James Michener

"When a man of good-will is troubled or tempted or afflicted with evil thoughts, then he can better understand how great a need he has of faith in God."  Thomas à Kempis

"Got me an itch; Won't go away - Tried this and that; What do I say?"
"Satisfied I ain't; Longing to please - Others don't help; Often they tease."
"Rest my mind; Trust God's true - Eyes off me; No longer blue."    Am I a Poet?

May 2nd - Do it Myself Curse

The story...

My dad grew up as the oldest of eight kids during the depression.  Their family didn't have much - they cared for each other.  Once he described, with a tear in his eye, what it was like for the last of the salted pork to be used up in late winter - "who wants to ask their neighbors for food?"  I remember him quoting his mother: "don't buy what you don't need, you might lose it someday."

I admired my dad's resourcefulness - he could do it himself.  So, my brother and I also did it ourselves - the principle was passed on even though we don't need to worry about running out of food this winter.  

Working out the "do it yourself" principle can seem like a curse when: you spend more money; your repair's less reliable; you lose valuable time; you don't allow others to help you; you fret over how you'll fix it without help; or you're overburdened with tools, materials, and spare parts.

"I might need that someday."

I'd rather be more self aware and realistic when: making purchase decisions; deciding when to ask for help; trusting others to do it for me, and assessing my true capabilities.  I want to be available to both give and receive help and love with others.  And, I want to focus my inner man on walking humbly with God in Christ in a more unencumbered way.   

The only church in town would invest their resources and time to both give and receive help and love among others.  In community, they'd walk humbly with God, in Christ, in an increasingly unencumbered way. 

Just for today...

"When I become willing to let go of the need to do it by myself, I can listen to others and receive direction from God."  Courage to Change (p. 123)

"Denial can be a shock absorber for the spirit. I can respect and be grateful for that survival mechanism, but I'll not hang onto it longer than necessary"  Hope for Today (p. 123)

"That side's His; This side's mine - Both are eternal; Fence is fine."
"His's about Him; Mine's about you - You know you; Why trust Him?"
"Why choose now; Enjoy yourself - Take care of you; You're mine."    Am I a Poet?

April 25th - 3rd Eye

The story...

A human resources guy's teaching me to be a better facilitator:  "If you're only looking through your own eyes then you're going to get a limited picture of what's really going on.  What would your third eye see from the top corner of the room?"  

What's really going on in the room?  We know it's impossible to truly know what's going on inside other people; yet, we can receive "tail tell" signs.  What would my third eye see?  The body language, nervous laughter, awkward silence, unexpected comments, beginnings of thoughts not fully expressed, inner-personal conflicts working their way out...  Efforts to redirect my eyes from my vantage to others helped me become a better facilitator.   

These awareness skills and habits take time to develop and maintain.  They get rusty and need the oil can.  Dorothy opens her eyes to her surroundings and discovers a person who she hadn't really noticed before - she finds out that he has "heart" issues.

People would be noticed, valued, and listened to within the only church in town.  People with a loving nature would reach out to better understand the heart issues of others - the things that really matter.  They'd love their neighbor as themselves.  They'd aspire to love others as Christ loved - the Spirit of God indwells those who are His.

Just for today...

"I am introspective when I turn my spiritual energy inward to observe my actions, character, motives, and reactions.  The ensuing awareness helps me see behavior patterns that hold me back from being the person I want to be."  Hope for Today (p. 116)

"I saw that; You meant this - We feel apart; Life lost."   Am I a Poet?

April 14th - Stinking Thinking

The story...

When things were going bad at work, I'd here myself saying "I'm going to quit..."  I even replayed that same mental tape after I'd left that company - moved on.  Stinking thinking seems to be recorded on a set of virtual tapes that I'm able to replay unconsciously.  Sounds like I am, or was, a victim of "stinking thinking."

Proverbs 23:7 says "as a man thinks, so he is."  I expect that most of us would agree with this verse yet some may feel they're victims to their past, limitations, other people, and life circumstances.  They're left with no choice - they've lost their opportunity for happiness.  How can they think differently about their same reality?

If you aren't satisfied with your thinking, you might research Joni Eareckson Tada's life reality, read about Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret, or listen to what Thomas Merton experienced in  "No Man is an Island."  Yet, scripture says that we must be redeemed or renewed - true freedom from "self" and self's "stinking thinking."

Haven't read - title seems "right on."

The only church in town will point all to the Christ.  They'll absorb the gospel truth about Who He is, what He's provided for each of us, and How we can be redeemed - brought close to Him (NASB, 1 Corinthians 15: 1-11). 

Just for today...

"When 'stinking thinking' takes hold of me, I must do more than just dismiss the negative thoughts . . . Today I'm going to pay close attention to what I tell myself.  If necessary, I'll stop in mid-thought, start over, and replace negative illusions with positive truths."  Courage to Change (p. 105) 

"Feel rejected; Not okay - Left out; Blown away."
"Do your part; Act their play - They're just fine; In the way."
"Stay home; Away from hurt - Slowly sinking; They're pert."
"God loves me; This I know - There to thrive; Outta the show."    Am I a Poet?