November 19th - Am I a good actor or character in this game of life?

The story...

My career may've chose me - I practiced the habits, and developed the personality, to explain my perspective and win agreement.  My work practices, tools, and change management success carried over into other areas of my life too.  I became more: illustrative; flamboyant in my story telling; better at painting commonly-understood mental images; succinct in posing the right question(s); and consistent in behaving according to my expected behavior.  Sometimes, the desired perspectives were those of the organization that I was part of and not necessarily my own.

The burden of working out my life, wearing different hats, took its toll.  The incongruity between my inner-man and the roles that I accepted was bothersome - dissatisfaction with parts of life.  My life was not characterized as peaceful - more like a never ending quest to model good behavior - be the best that I could be - measure up.  So, I planned the long and arduous process of earning my PhD - "then life would be great."  It was a good life change completed over 10 years and experienced over another 10 years.  I learned and grew much through my studies, research, dialog, enlarged mental models, building onto and protecting my share of the body of knowledge, teaching, and mentoring.  Yet, my inner-man needed something more.

A period of brokenness helped me wake up and see my strife and struggles more clearly - I needed help.  I accepted an offer for help and joined others who were also more-honestly becoming better people.  The lessons learned and applied were wonderful - I truly love(d) all those people that I grew with.  My life became more congruent, peaceful, restful, thankful, engaging, and honest too.

The only church in town will be a place where you'll hear about a better way to be.  You'll, meet those who are growing in a similar way and stage of life.  Over time, a few of those people may even become truly good friends who you can openly and honestly grow with.  Friends like that aren't required to live a good life yet I wouldn't give 'em up without a fight.  True, they must be held loosely or it likely isn't true friendship.  Honestly seeking to understand, before being understood, is a good first step toward developing those good friendships.

Just for today...

Do you want to fix them for your own personal comfort or honestly for them?

If you wouldn't want somebody to say "it" to you then don't say "it" to anyone else.

October 2nd - Does your constitution justify your "just doing it?"

The story...

The USA Supreme Court protects and interprets our constitution.  Who protects my constitution?  I guess it's me.  Should I just do it, think about it, or write in on my to-do list?  Some things must be planned yet some things are acted on as a matter of habit or principle.  Within my constitution, can I, or should I, just do it?  I understand my constitution to be principles, or precedents, for how I manage my life - how I make decisions and act on them in accordance with who I am.  Take a look at my bookmark I crafted and laminated in the 1990s - it speaks to being versus doing.  

This purpose statement is helpful yet it doesn't seem to be a constitution for how I might make daily decisions.   The following are a few ideas about the choices that I expect to make today, on my birthday, and record the principle(s) that seems to actually be driving them.  Might this be a reasonable way to write my constitution as opposed to a lofty set of ideas that I'd like to be true about me?

Make and drink coffee - Live in a supportive and comfortable environment - self-care.

Put on an old blue button-down-collar shirt - Love in storge sort of way - self-care - self-respect.

Bring my momma a donut at her new independent living place - Be kind to family and community.

Enjoy lunch with a best friend - Share and grow with good friends.

Close Exercise ring on my Apple Watch - Work toward goals - self-care.

Write in my blog - Better understand "what's going on" and share too.

Tweak my investment choices - Plan and prepare for the future.

Prepare for 1st BSF group meeting - Learn and grow with other men.

Pray and meditate - Work out my relationship with God in Christ.

Answer birthday wish visits and phone calls - Build kind, growing, and loving relationships.

Greet people on the bike path - Love and receive love.

Afternoon nap - Be kind to me.

Eat meals - Care for me and be happy.

Organize basement - Simplify for me and others too.

The only church in town will likely have a written purpose statement and constitution.  I hope that each member of this "called out group of people" would have their own constitution too and that the two would flow congruently.

Just for today...

"I felt afraid of doing the job incorrectly and being criticized, but I accepted it anyway. My fears were quelled because criticism never came . . . 'I can, I can, I can! And I do.'"  Hope for Today (p. 276)

September 17th - If not now - when?

The story...

I've got no plans for today until about 5:00pm.  Actually, I'm writing my blog at the same time that I normally do, and I'm drinking my coffee made the same way that I normally do.  My newspaper will arrive about the same time that it normally does and my Apple watch will gently remind me that I'll need to stay active to close my stand-move-exercise goals. I'll check my financial investments and likely make at least one change; then, I'll walk around our property picking up limbs and noticing changes.  I'm interim fasting so I expect that I'll greatly enjoy my lunch again today.  I've a to-do list sitting next to my recliner that lists projects that I may choose to work on - I looked at it and now plan to change my health-care plan today which'll take one-to-two hours.  I'll greet my spouse with love when she walks into the main room and we'll enjoy each other's company.  There's time to work out and enjoy my relationships within this day - with God and with others: close friends, neighbors, acquaintances, and people I've never met before.

What, within my power, might I change now that'd have the greatest impact on both me and others?  For me it'd be more fully resting within my relationship with God in Christ - freely meeting with God today in prayer - centering in on fundamental truths.  Honestly assessing myself with my heart praising the glory of God.  Living hopefully with all peace and joy (Romans 15:13).

The only church in town will be a place where all people, in almost every stage of life, will be welcome.  There'll be customs, rules, habits and expectations that'll be agreed to; yet, they'll not be a burden - they'll provide a good environment and point them towards the good life safe in Christ.

Just for today...

"I had to find a positive behavior to replace the fretting. Today if I catch myself worrying, I write down my specific fears, no matter how preposterous they may seem. Once I get them out of my mind and fix them on paper, I ask God to show me which ones are real and which are imagined."  Hope for Today (p. 261)

"I do have a power, a God-given one, and that is power over my own mind, emotions and reactions. If I exercise that power wisely, the problems outside of me will work out without my interference."  One Day at a Time (p. 261)

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now - when?"   Rabbi Hillel (Pirkei Avot 1:14)

"Pirkei Avot, which translates to English as Chapters of the Fathers, is a compilation of the ethical teachings and maxims from Rabbinic Jewish tradition. It is part of didactic Jewish ethical literature. Because of its contents, the name is sometimes given as Ethics of the Fathers." Wikipedia

September 2nd - Engage in community already - growing together is real good.

The story...

We rode our bicycles to Grand Haven and participated in the Coast Guard parade.  We seemed to fit in with our bike clothes as we squeezed along the parade route.  There were so... many people who seemed to have planned to feel and do good that day.  You could see and feel expectations of happiness with their decorations, sandwiches, red-white-blue clothes, and generally happy, gabby and cheering natures - throngs of like-minded people.  They were excited by the bands, small-floats, old-guys on small Cushman scooters, small lollipops, clowns, Coast Guard helicopters roaring overhead, and being together.  A woman threw me a stack of t-shirts that I passed out and wore - I felt engaged within the community.  I'm reexperiencing some of the joy and happiness as I recall the event.  Thank you Grand Haven - ya done real good!

I expected good and received that good along with the unexpected too.  I might've worried about how I'd be accepted by the group - possibly marginalized, or reexperiencing prior feelings of rejection.  The 44-mile bike ride had it's associated risks yet we accepted them.  What if the people I went with didn't want to do or go according to my will?  No, I was fully engaged in the "now," within community, and my self-focused will was virtually locked up - chained and left with the bikes next to that big tree.

Why not let down your guard and risk being kinder and engage in life already?  We might accept the risk of being amongst people with whom we might interact, learn, grow and experience the giving and receiving of love - together.  As for me and my house, the only church in town is the place where the good stuff of life's available 52 weeks per year.

Just for today...

"If I am expectant of good, it will surely come to me. Even the grace of courtesy gives rich immediate rewards in response . . . Concern, love and kindness on my part will be reflected in everything that takes place in my life." One Day at a Time (p. 246)

We all have a sort of reaction tolerance band.  Hyper reactions occur when I overreact and Hypo reactions occurs when I underreact.  Might widening that tolerance band minimize unhealthy reactions, to whatever the trigger, for the benefit of us all?

August 18th - Keeping busy or living peacefully?

The story...

My significant other is going away for eight days.  Why do I have this need to plan activities to keep me busy?  Does this need suggest that my life isn't peaceful now?  Or, have I structured my life around a pattern of habits that'll be disrupted without my girl?  Do I need a series of planned activities to validate my sense of self worth?  I do want to be okay rather than behaving in ways that allows me to imagine that I'm okay.

What does an okay, peaceful, day look like for me?  Maybe it's hard to live out the better reality without a purposeful plan or pattern.  Its a little uncomfortable to actually write it out.  Isn't that the goal of a blog?  Okay, the following is my generic plan for living out a peaceful and fruit bearing day - limited to 15:

1. Wake naturally from restful sleep
2. Do a few things that I look forward to
3. Pray, meditate and listen
4. Reflect and clarify within my blog
5. Interim fast while drinking plenty of water
6. Reach out to at least one friend
7. Exercise in nature and community
8. Be kind to those I meet - risk loving and being loved
9. Invest one hour managing household and finance
10. Enjoy my lunch
11. Do or learn something new
12. Keep opinions to myself and challenge their validity
13. Serve somehow, somewhere - engage in community
14. Seek to understand before being understood
15. Read God's revealed Word and fall asleep feeling loved

Having completed and reflected on this list, I've less of a need to fill up my days with planned activities.  I certainly would rather live in the present, be receptive to spirit/Spirit realities, trust God rather than myself, and enjoy walking in the will of God rather than the will of me.

The only church in town will be a place built to facilitate a more honest life lived out in the actualities, or circumstances, of life and Sprit-to-spirit reality.   Maybe there we will feel free to pass the peace sign on to each other. ☮

Just for today...

"Today I make a commitment to be honest with myself. By facing reality, I become someone I can depend upon."  Courage to Change (p. 232)

"It is easy, terribly easy, to shake a man's faith in himself. To take advantage of that to break a man's spirit is devil's work."  (G.B. Shaw: Candida)

August 8th - If self-defeating behaviors go away, what will take their place?

The story...

When I was a kid, mosquito bites would swell up and itch like crazy.  And, I'd itch them like crazy.  My mom would say, "Stop doing that, it'll just make it worse."  Truly they did get worse the more I scratched them.  My focus on the mosquito bites, and that satisfying relief from scratching, distracted me from living more fully in the present.

It's not hard to imagine that our known sins are kind of like itches that come alive when we scratch the hell out of them.  It feels good, but not for long.  The scratching seems almost involuntary and necessary for our well being or survival.

What's it like on the other side of life if we resist the urge to scratch our itches and become more self-aware in the present?  Is a life like that better, doable, and sustainable?

The only church in town would preach that your old-sinful nature is going to scratch itches no matter how hard you try to stop 'em.  Like whac-a-mole, a new one will just pop up and take the other's place.  And, you'll likely find a bit of pride too in your efforts to be good: "What a good boy am I!"

Cat Whac-a-Mole

The only church in town will preach the unmeasurable value of living out a loving relationship with the Lord your God through the atonement that only He can provide - GRACE.  Each of our relationships with God, is the source of the lasting good life.  Why not trust God and walk humbly with Him today?  He created us the way we are and enjoys us - even those rebellious rascals like me.  I won't willingly go back to that old Whac-a-Mole life.  I'm so thankful that God restores our relationship continuously in a real loving relationship - He seems to be molding me into the better man He created me to BE.

Just for today...

"My great fear is this:  If I shed many characteristics that stand in my way, what will be left? . . . The desire to grow and heal has brought me to this uncomfortable point, because I am tired of the way I have been . . . I can take all the time I need."  Courage to Change (p. 221)

July 31st - If stronger triceps muscles help then how might...

The story...

It scrolled upon my computer, an ad for a pulley with weight lifting attachments that'd allow me to do pull-down exercises in my basement.  It seemed liked a simple and doable strength solution to my lower back limitation - it was less than $30.  Where would I put it?  One click and it was purchased.

I took down the heavy punching bag, that I didn't use, and it was situated just right.  The change to my weight lifting regime was both satisfying and fruitful - my triceps have never been stronger.  Basketball shooting was never my strong point - I was surprised at how much easier, accurate and precise my shots are now.  I continue to be surprised at how some everyday tasks are easier and more satisfying too.

It seems most people don't do strength training - "It's just not my thing."  It does require 25 minutes, two or three times per week.  For me, I listen to my spiritual mentor, Charles Stanley, on the TV while I'm lifting.- I come up from the basement better off physically, emotionally, and spiritually then when I went down.

We're all different and it takes time to make sustainable changes within our lives.  Until the change works out in actualities and habits, it's hard to know how life will be different.  For me, I don't want to give up weight lifting or my motorcycle.  I've a friend who wouldn't give up her quilting, another who wouldn't give up her garage sales, another guy who is passionate about his guns, another who loved her gardening, and another who wouldn't give up her pickleball leagues. 

The only church in town would allow opportunities for every person to apply their God given gifts, abilities, and interests.  And, they'd hear about life-giving changes that people experience along their life journeys.  They'd also hear how the Spirit of God intervened before significant real-life changes started.  If it was from God, you won't want to go back to the old-stale stuff.  I guess it depends on who your master is - you or your Lord.

Just for today...

"When I take one day, one moment, one task at a time and really concentrate on it, a lot more gets done."  Courage to Change (p. 213)

"I must learn to accept myself as I am. Everything good I can bring about must begin with that."  One Day at a Time (p. 213)

"I reaffirm that God is a Power greater than myself with thoughts and feelings very different from mine. This allows me to set my thoughts aside and take time to focus on His thoughts and how He wants to express them through me."  Hope for Today (p. 213)

June 20th - The Stacking Habit

The story...

My story begins with my attempt to share a bad habit that I replaced with a good one.  I selected a habit that I'd like to change over the next month.  When I post this blog on June 20th, you'll hear, or read, my rendition of what actually occurred.  Will I be able to replace the habit with a better one and will I be more comfortable with myself as a result?

The habit I choose is: organizing the stuff near my side of the bed every day.  I've a habit of stacking things, quickly tossing down my clothes, and inviting my spouse, without actually saying so, to stack stuff there too.  I'll organize my side of my bedroom every day after I complete the nytimes.com "Wordle" game.

My Wordle result - 05/17/23

I've heard it said that a good way to begin a new habit is to "Stack" it after a habit that you find pleasure in or look forward to.  Personally, I look forward to every Sunday morning when I meet my friends at church, synch our lives, remind each other of the reality of what God's revealed, and to praise and wordship "That in Which There is No Greater."  Being involved in the only church in town will involve people and their sin which will inevitably cause conflict and problems.  God's Word and Power will offer peace for each of his "Christ Ones" as they navigate through life together.  People and their habits being transformed toward...

STACKING TRIAL UPDATE:  It didn't work - I still have a stack of stuff next to my bed.  Maybe the stack is part of my routine or habits that best fits this stage of life that I'm journeying through?  I'm okay with me just as I am today - living in the present more honestly and humbly.

Just for today...

"The 'defects of character' I want to be rid of are sure to have deep roots in habit . . . If I am truly willing, I will see them replaced gradually by impulses of a different quality, that I can live with, comfortably and free from self-reproach."   One Day at a Time (p. 172)

"The first step in learning to respond more effectively to others is to learn to respond more effectively to myself.  I can learn to respond with love, caring, and respect for myself, even for those parts of me that experience fear, confusion, and anger."  Courage to Change (p. 172)

May 26th - Say Goodbye to Say Hello

The story...

I like the motorcycle that I currently own yet I'm planning to sell it to buy another.  Surely I've justified the change - size, safety with ABS, travel further, and more reliable.   Yet, I'll miss the nimbleness, ease of maneuvering, and efficiency - it's been a good friend and companion.  

Why not keep it?  Keeping means more: maintenance, storage space, insurance cost, and time wasted caring for things.  No, I will say goodbye to the old and welcome the new.

First day I owned it - it's time to say goodbye already.

How do we know when a thing, group, or way of living has run its course?  Might we reduce the bias that we have for keeping things just as they are.  Surely there're reasons for why things are the way they are and it'd be foolish not to consider their past, current and potential value.

I've heard that it's healthy to break behavior patterns.  For example, drive home a different way or eat a different kind of food.  Go to an event where people have different interests, hobbies and ways.  Change has been good for my life walk and character - being ready to roll and accepting change has helped.

People, ministries, buildings, job descriptions and worship practices will come and go within the only church in town.  Yet one day, everybody will take their final breath - "goodbye."  And, they'll say hello to eternity.  Oh..., to be found in Christ and loved by God.  Heaven doesn't wait.

Just for today...

"If I don't get too attached to any one way to approach life, I adjust to change with a lot less stress and strain . . .  As a friend says: 'We don't see the world as it is. We see the world as we are.'"  Courage to Change (p. 147)

April 12th - Enduring Change Takes Time - Be Patient

The story...

My life trajectory's improved significantly in recent years.  The changes came slowly and were worked out alongside other pilgrims.  Those who walked with me seemed more honest with themselves, more okay as they were, and less guarded.

It surprised me that meaningful change took months, rather than weeks, to become more habitual and part of my character.  For example, I learned that I often thought obsessively over problems, issues, and even new ideas.  Obsessive thinking restrained me from engaging in, and enjoying, the present - the "now" where life's actually lived.  Once I witnessed a better way, I assumed that I could change my behavior within 40 days at most - I've often heard it takes 40 days to establish a habit.  It actually took me about six months to actually be different.  I can still be triggered to start up a cycle of obsessive thinking; yet, I often, resolve it within the first 10 min. and return to living in the present.

I hope that the only church in town would accept people just as they are with grace and mercy.  The community would allow others to safely grow at their own pace.  Yes, real growth seems to take longer than expected and requires patience.  Over time, the Spirit of God will begin to bear fruit through their lives.  Some of their old defensive armor, needed to defend themselves, will be exchanged for the far better armor of God.

Just for today...

"You cannot create a statue by smashing the marble with a hammer, and you cannot by force of arms release the spirit or soul of man."  Confucius (551–479 BCE)

"Despair - how many of us suffer from it!  Yet we do not realize that it is purely the absence of faith." One Day at a Time (p. 103)

April 8th - Rule of Thumb - Go Left

The story...

When guessing the path that another person took, Jack Reacher always chose to turn left - counter clockwise.  Why?  Most people are right handed.  Yet most left-handed and right-handed are right-footed.  With no other information available, the average person will kick out their right leg and begin to turn counter clockwise.  This is a "Reacher" rule-of-thumb, heuristic, for decision making.

If you're following me, you'd soon find that I'm a predictable person who likes to follow comfortable patterns.  Thankfully, I'm also a curious sort who's willing to try on new ideas and ways of looking at things.  Yes, I'm what some would call a "life long learner." 

Some things are "too good" to be true so we may either accept it blindly or reject the dish without a taste.  Like the following situation from the Seinfeld series:

When Newman finds out that the no-fat yogurt store is shut down because the delectable yogurt truly has fat - he blames the people who exposed the façade.  He directs anger towards those who knocked down his "house of cards."

The only church in town's standard would be truths that God's revealed.  These truths often run contrary with our desire to satisfy ourselves by eating as much no-fat yogurt as we want.  We may choose to surround ourselves with those who also "buy in" to the no-fat yogurt ruse - everybody's okay as long as the ruse remains unexposed.  God's Word shines the light of truth on our thinking and behavior to expose and condemn the self-absorbed life condition for what it truly is.   It seems we can only find real satisfaction by doing justice, loving kindness, and walking humbly with our God in Christ (Micah 6:8).

Is today a good day to see what condition your condition is in? 

Just for today...

"There can be great value in examining the past. It can offer information about the present, as well as clues that might help us make changes for a better future. . . Still, it is important to remember that the past is over.  We are powerless over what has gone before."  Courage to Change (p. 99)

"Sometimes I would rather deny that a decision needs to be made than to tolerate the discomfort that comes with participating in the decision-making processes. . . I grew up seeing the extremes of decision-making - dominance and lack of participation."  Hope for Today (p. 99)

March 30th - Thermostat or Thermometer?

The story...

I was alone for 12 days while my spouse was traveling.  I kept busy doing projects and meeting with people, at least once, every day.  It was good to pick her up at the airport and return to a more normal home life.  However, I noticed that I began speaking more loudly and quickly when telling a good story or discussing daily events.  I noticed the change in intensity and made adjustments by lowering my voice and slowing down.  I mentioned this to her and she noticed the changes I was making.  She said that it was just fine the way things were yet I think that quieter and less intense is preferable.  Maybe it's just the way I am due to growing up with four loud siblings.

I mentioned this story to a pastor friend and asked him if he believed this to be a worthy personal change effort.  He encouraged me to work at this better communication style.  And, he relayed a wise metaphor that he found helpful.  When entering the room, you can choose to be either a thermometer or a thermostat.  A thermometer matches the "temperature" of the room while the thermostat can change the "temperature" of the room.

I expect that the only church in town would have a temperature, or level of intensity, that allows for all people to feel more comfortable, respected, loved, and engaged.  Each player effects the temperature whether it be good or bad.

Just for today...

"My efforts to be selfless by trying to please everyone but myself weren't working.  The focus was on their response rather than on what seemed right for me to do."  Courage to Change (p. 90)

"Until I am intimate with myself and treat myself with compassion, kindness, trust, acceptance, and love, I can't be the spouse, friend, son, or father I want to be." Hope for Today (p. 90)

March 8th - A friend to all is a friend to none

 The story...

When in my 20s, I had a reoccurring fantasy of owning a bar that sold food.  I'd stop by a couple of times per day to see the familiar, laugh with old friends, and meet new people too.  Saturday mornings would find me doing the "books" at my favorite seat - "my" booth.  The morning sun would be shinning through the windows and I would feel comfort and self-fulfillment.

A few times a year, I'd drink beer and dine at a place called "Tip a Few" in Grand Haven, MI.  It's similar but different from my imagined place of goodness and comfort. I liked to order a pitcher of "Pabst Blue Ribbon" beer - the beer I often shared with friends during my college years.  Inevitably, I'd resurrect the dream of owning my bar with great enthusiasm.  The one who knows me well would say "here you go again" and they'd sit back with "that smile I hold dear" as I retold my vision of how it would be and how great it would feel.  Five minutes after we left the front door I'd again say: "what was I thinking?"  Then, the one who knows me well would squeeze my hand and we'd walk on together - laughing.   

For the last 3.5 years I haven't drank alcohol and seem to have lost any interest in it. Personally, I had practical and situational reasons for stopping.  I've started other good habits that're now part of who I am.  Personally, the change hasn't affected where I go much yet I returned to that place only once.  The people respectfully served me water and I enjoyed the experience with muchness.  That old-fond dream seems to be vanquished and gone forever - that's good.

It's water

Would the only church in town attempt to simulate this common "good" experience with coffee bars and breakfast nooks?  I've witnessed a few good "tries" yet they seemed to be a bit pretentious and fall short - they weren't the thing.  I expect that people, who'd go to the only church in town, would be looking for the real thing - to better know the Word of "That Than Which there is No Greater" and to be more like the person that He is and wants them to be - their aim. 

 

Just for today...

"A friend to all is a friend to none."   The Nicomachean Ethics, Aristotle (340 BCE)

March 6th - Like swimming laps

 The story...

They say swimming is good for you.  For me, it's my best alternative.  I wonder what swimming is like for young athletes; all those hours with their head down thinking about what?  This is my second go at swimming as part of a life style - a habit.  The whole process takes about two hours with 35 minutes actually doing my version of freestyle.  I pack my bag, drive, find a space, find my way in, talk to a friend, change, shower, jump in, start my Apple watch, swim, shower, change, talk again, and drive somewhere.  Why would a sane person do such a thing?  For me, it's part of a better life.  I expect that people who come closest to knowing me would agree that this is a good investment of these chunks of life.  I plan on sticking with it until...

How does a person think while their eyes are watching those tile squares, on the bottom of the pool, flow by?  I used to think about how much longer I had to do this - my watch takes care of that now.  Each time's different yet the same in some ways.  You can't hear much, can't see much, can't smell much, can't taste much but you do feel a whole lot as you almost weightlessly float along.  I come out of the pool feeling rested and more peaceful.  And, a bit closer to my inner-man - maybe even my spirit/Spirit connection?

The one I love is running is within this photo.

The only church in town might feel like the community pool.  I hope you enjoy pondering this one and maybe even planning to visit your community pool.  Might a change to your routine help you "be."

Just for today...

"When I was angry and wanted to argue, I silently fumed.  When I was hurt and wanted comfort, I pouted. When I wanted attention, I talked non-stop. I couldn't understand why I rarely got the responses I expected!  I no longer expect anyone to read my mind."  Courage to Change (p. 66)

March 1st - A knot that binds

The story...

I learned to tie many knots as a Boy Scout - even the life-saving Bowline knot.  You can actually practice tying the bowline with one hand like you might want to if you're hanging from a cliff holding onto the end of your rope.  I practiced this over and over and became rather adept at it for a few days; then, I forgot it.  I likely wouldn't be able to recall that knot method if I find myself precariously hanging from the end of my rope and needing to tie that life-saving non-slip knot - like that's gonna happen.

There's one knot that's imbedded in my memory as a habit that doesn't seem to be erasable.  My dad taught me this knot to tie on my fishing lures.  The emotional pains and feelings related to losing a favorite lure, or possibly the biggest fish of the day, motivated me to learn the method and do it "right."  I tie that knot the same way my dad taught me.  First, you spin seven times - not six or eight.  You can find alternative fishing line knots on YouTube.  They claim to be stronger or simpler to tie.  Am I going to change?  Strangely, no.

There're times when I need to tie a knot, with fishing line, that's not a slip knot.  For example, like when tying an invisible line to prop up an object or to form a safety line to prevent the object from falling from a top shelf.  

Can you see the line?

Who do I call when I'm in need of a specialty knot?  I dial up YouTube and learn from a person who most graciously took the time to share their knowledge with all who want to know.  Thank you YouTubers!

How might the fishing line and knot knowledge relate to the only church in town?   The supporting roles are often hard to see and often require specialized knowledge that may be learned throughout a lifetime. 

Please accept my heartfelt thanks for the supporting role(s) that you provide within your communities.  I expect that we all know and feel it when we're using our talents and gifts in the way that's uniquely ours.  I'm so thankful to be found safely in Christ and that the Spirit of Christ can perform great works even through me.   

Just for today...

"Disappointment, bitterness, and resentment are ties that bind, and until we release these feelings to God, we remain bound to the past."  Hope for Today (p. 61)

"Humility prepares us for the realization of God's will for us; it shows us the benefits we gain from doing away with self-will."  One Day at a Time (p. 61)

"If you understand, things are just as they are; if you do not understand, things are just as they are."  Zen proverb

February 22nd - The incredible edible egg

The story...

The Egg Board advertised the value of the egg in a 1978 marketing campaign - "the incredible, edible egg."  Why would egg producers need to market the value of eggs?  Well, one large egg has about 186 mg of cholesterol, an interim-fasting diet may skip breakfast, and vegans view eggs as an animal product. I remember my mother buying Carnation Instant Breakfast, in the 1960s.  They advertised it as the perfect breakfast for a really good day - and it tastes good too!  I also liked this milk-shake breakfast - for a season.

Two of my favorite civil war characters are Thomas (Stonewall) Jackson and Abraham (Abe) Lincoln. I understand that the typical "sustaining" diet for a soldier was about a pound of meat and a pound of bread or flour per day. Similarly, Abraham Lincoln had a simple diet and may have ate one boiled egg for breakfast when visiting the troops. The egg seems like a good choice in a civil war camp - you could count on it being clean after you peeled off that natural protective shell.

Might the only church in town provide the food, or sustenance, for living a "good life."  Wendy's marketing campaign "where's the beef?" seems like an appropriate question to ask.  I expect the only church in town would be known for offering the path to a "good life" that's consistently worked out within the revealed Word of God.  People would witness this good life in "actualities" and through real people with skin on them - people walking humbly with God.  An advertising campaign wouldn't be necessary.

Just for today...

"In the grand scheme of things, no single decision is ever really that important.  I can do my best to make decisions wisely, but the results are in the hands of God."  Courage to Change (p. 53)

"Let me cultivate awareness of those around me; it is all the better for me, too, if I clarify my thoughts before I speak."  One Day at a Time (p. 53)

February 16th - Habits

The story...

I'm a thankful leader of a group of guys within Bible Study Fellowship (BSF).  This non-denominational bible study organization encourages daily scripture reading and provides a common set of questions that guides small groups towards God's disclosure and self discovery.  Our group meets and shares weekly -  truly, the group is greater than the sum of it's parts.  My friends become less guarded as we share more of the reality of our lives and some of our inner man too.  I truly agape love these men as I continue to learn who they are and grow stronger as a group.

Last year I read James Clear's book - Atomic Habits.  James shares how he started a blog to share how he recognized that good habits drove positive change and real growth in his life.  People shared and taught each other. Yes, they grew together - hence the seeds for a top-selling book.  He includes the idea of stacking habits.  Stacking suggests that you add a new habit immediately following a habit that you already have and enjoy - read his book to find out more.  It seemed foolish to read a book on habits and not make a positive change in my own life.  So, I shared my commitment with my BSF group, I willed to do my BSF study work every day after I completed my daily WORDLE puzzle.  I was successful for about four months.  Did I falter and quit after four months?  Actually, to my surprise, my daily scripture reading is now a daily habit of its own, much like WORDLE.  It's now part of the fabric of my life.

The only church in town would probably be non-denominational - reflecting the community.  Sub-groups of people would likely form.  These new groups would have the potential to grow together in ways that they never could have if they each stayed marooned on an island of their own making.

Just for today...

"We are only as sick as our secrets.  Until we let them out into the light, they keep us trapped."  Courage to Change (p. 47)

"We believe people discover their true purpose and identity by knowing God through His Word.  That is why BSF offers free, in-depth Bible studies in community for people of all ages around the world."  Bible Study Fellowship

"Love can only be kept by giving it away."  Merton, T. (1955). No man is an Island

February 15th - Coffee Habits

 The story...

A guy named John introduced me to the coffee habit on a canoe trip within the boundary waters bordering Canada and Minnesota - I was 40 years old.  It was hard to resist on a cold morning, sitting on a log near the fire - there wasn't much else to drink but water.  The coffee experience was real good from the beginning - kind of like the favorite Ad-Man commercial: "Hey Mikey, he likes it!"  Sure, I knew people, like my dad, who really enjoyed their coffee yet I resisted.  How many times did I hear him ask for one more cup of coffee when I wanted to get going?  My new habit surprised me - the smell, the warmth, the familiar taste, the clarity, the alertness, the new social opportunities... 

Yes, I like my daily morning coffee habit - performed the same way every morning when home.  Empty the old filter/grounds, drain the dregs, fill the pot, pour in, adjust the new filter, open the coffee container, scoop twice, level out the coffee, push the button, and wait to hear the sound that lets me know that the percolation's about complete.  At the risk of creeping some of you out, I believe we've owned this coffee container for years yet only washed the inside a few time.  For sure, I empty it down to a scoop or two before I fill it back up half way and shake it up to amalgamate.  It's a new mix - some old, some new, and sometimes a new brand of coffee.

Yes, this photo might be an appropriate metaphor for the only church in town.  The grounds are a mix of the old, the new, and even an occasional different brand - they're all coffee.  They're secure in the container yet don't stay there.  Power transforms them into a coffee that's shared and enjoyed within community.  Coffee's often there when the town gets together, connects, communicates and sometimes loves.

Just for today...

How about performing a personal habit inventory?  If you don't know how to add or change habits, consider reading James Clear's book - Atomic Habits.     

February 13th - But we don't have to go anymore...

The story...

I moved to Duluth, MN for one year on a teaching assignment - yes, I have been a teacher.  UMD welcomed me; the students asked me to join them in the stuff that students like to do; the church pulled me into their family; and I lived in a small apartment.  One morning, the apartment manager asked me where I was going on the past Sunday morning.  I told her that I was walking to church.  She said: "I thought so, I saw you were carrying a bible."  She was perplexed and a bit frustrated - "You're a professor, you don't have family here, and you're free to do whatever you want.  Why would you go to church?  We used to have to do that here; but, not anymore - I'm free to do whatever I want."  I shared how it felt to be pulled into a welcoming church family who invited me into their homes and families.  I even played "broom ball" and fished with some of them - "I feel loved there."  She says: "huh, I might try church again." 

I don't think that the only church in town would spend much time reminiscing about the "good old days" when everybody was expected to go to church and behave morally right.  Teach me against my will and I will be of the same opinion still - and likely continue to behave in ways that are true with who I truly am deep down inside.  

 

The story played out here.

Just for today...

"I tried to get God to listen to me through my prayers.  He did, once I stopped telling Him what to do."  Hope for Today (p.44)

"I didn't like myself because I wasn't living up to what I believed to be true about others."  Courage to Change (p. 44)

February 7th - Bearing fruit and sensing them?

The story...

My dad and I shared many things in common - he passed on to the next life.  I inherited some of his physical features, picked up some of his habits, learned some of his life principles, yet there are some traits that reflect more of our inner man.  For example, we both were compelled to do cross-word puzzles, eat sardines out of the can, and find enjoyment from feeding the birds.  This is my bird feeding scene at present.

It's the only bird feeder, that I know of, in this "neck of the woods."  I was surprised that I had a need to show you a picture with the variety of red-headed wood peckers that are often there - vanity?  Yet, this picture reflects more of how the scene normally looks.  I truly love the birds that congregate here and sense this in my inner-man.   It costs me money, time, and space to provide this bird sanctuary and sometimes I'm concerned about them.  Hawks and owls can grab them, two chickadees were clamped into the squirrel protection device, fierce weather, and even my neglect to refill the feeders may have caused my bird friends to doubt me. I obviously don't watch them continuously.  Yet when I do spend my time focusing on them; love, joy, peace, patience, faithfulness, kindness, gentleness and self-control seem to ooze out of my inner man.  

I wonder what God experiences when he focuses on the only church in town where those he loves congregate, worship and praise Him? 

Just for today...

"...I always compared myself to others, particularly my family members, and vowed to be better than them.  I sought the elation of winning and wanted to be praised.  My constant  comparing and competing gradually edged most people out of my life.  Ultimately I was not even good enough for myself, and attitude that led me to harsh self-abuse."  Hope for Today (p. 38)