October 30th - Helping others helps me to be and do

The story...

Yesterday, I saw my neighbor walking down the bike path by the side of the road.  I remembered the picture of him with the 4' sturgeon that he caught earlier in the week.  I was on my motorcycle so it would've been easy to turn around and pull into a driveway and hear his story - the sharing would likely have been good for him and built up our relationship too.  Even though I paused a bit longer than I would've hoped, my motorcycle came back and we strengthened our relationship.

Wikipedia

Why was this interchange important?  Maybe it demonstrated that I was truly interested in him, was pleased with his unexpected joy, was interested in the details of the "fight," asked how he felt as he wondered what it might be, and demonstrated keen interest during the whole conversation.  It was all about him.  It felt good to know that it was natural and true behavior on both of our parts - I wasn't "trying" to demonstrate interest and happiness with him - I actually was happy for and interested in his life.  That seems like good living.

I expect that my turning around to love my neighbor as myself was "doing" what I want to "be."  As I reflect on the reality of this simple situation - I'm so thankful for the changes in my life that've reduced my focus on me and turned my eyes and heart more towards others.

There'll be happiness and joy within the community of the only church in town.  They'll be a sort of organism that values each of their unique parts - they'll know it takes all of the parts of a body for it to function as He designed.  Praise God for the Body of Christ worked out in the Light.

Just for today...

"Many a solution to a difficulty of my own has come to me while I was helping someone else."  One Day at a Time (p. 304)

October 28th - Engage in Today - the Now

The story...

What does the day look like for you?  I don't know as I write this story, self-aware, in history.  Strangely, that first sentence is in the past and I may need to reread it to remember what I wrote.  I must also remember what the first words of this sentence were in order to understand my intended message.

Today, I'm enjoying the "Just for Today" quotes that were written by others years ago.  They were highlighted as important to me years ago.  I'm considering, and making sense of them, in the present. And, they're conveyed to you from history.  You're enjoying them in the now - the present.

We've got today...

The only church in town will be built on wisdom - they'll focus on reality, where to go, and how to get there.  They'll trust what their Creator and Sustainer has revealed.  And, they'll meet and walk humbly/honestly with Him in the present.

Just for today...

"So it's in my best interest to treat others as I wish to be treated. I try to imagine that my words and actions are being addressed to myself, because in the long run I generally get back what I give out."  Courage to Change (p. 302)

"I've learned that if an issue isn't going to be important in 30 days, then it's probably not worth troubling myself with now."  Hope for Today (p. 302)

"Today is mine, It is unique. Nobody in the world has one exactly like it. It holds the sum of all past experience and the future of all potential."  One Day at a Time (p. 302)

August 26th - W.A.I.T. - Why Am I Talking?

The story...

I'm involved in a mentoring program with a young man whose shoe size is the same as mine.  As we've gotten to know each other, we also learned that we both like to be quiet.  For our game and fellowship time our team name is "Quiet Big Shoes."  The mentoring program questions are normally met by his silence which I've learned to respect - he pondered them - although I doubted that he even heard them at first.  Our quietness seems to respect his right to personal boundaries and the dignity to be just as he is.  Our "attitudes" seem to be a part of the closer relationship that influences both him and me.  We're beginning to like being with each other. We seem to more freely engage both our hearts and minds.

When facilitating brain-storming idea creation exercises, I learned that the best ideas seemed to come after the barrage of quick ideas were over.  There was the interim quiet time where each member of the group seemed to quiet their minds and more comfortably search beyond the limits of their normal operational thinking patterns.  That's the place where the good ideas and new learning seems to pop up into the light of...   I want to live in that place more often.  A similar process seems to occur by myself, with a good friend, with a friendly group, with a not so friendly groups, and within community too.

The only church in town will never be bent according to my will no matter how much dust I kick up trying to convince others that my vision of the "best" or "ideal" is right for us.  What a great thing to be quiet within relationships - growing and walking honestly and humbly together.

Oh... what a joy to be rightly related to God in Christ.  Within my prayers I give praise, thanks, asks, quietly listen, meditate on a truth that God spoke.  Sometimes I fall asleep within our spirit-to-Sprit connection.  Our relationship is mysterious, wonderful, and available through faith in the revealed Word of God.  God knows what's in a man's heart and scripture says the Spirit of Christ indwells those who are His.

Just for today...

W:   Why

A:     Am

I:        I

T:   Talking?

August 4th - Express yourself - really

The story...

Yesterday, I listened to a guest speaker describe his perceived value of knowing the difference between his imagined self and his real self.  Yes, we all likely developed and refined an image of who we were to "better" cope with the realities of life. 

Our need to belong to, or fit in with, any group often leads to a sort of group think - a place where pleasing people and conforming to group norms is very important.  Bruce Lee describes his value of expressing himself within the following video.

Isn't it best to belong to and fit into the group that you identify with?  Isn't it polite and respectful to think and behave like the group?  You did have some control over the decision to join the group and possibly even become a "member."  

Visitors to the only church in town will likely find a different world view - a place where they might express a more true self.  It seems they'd start with themselves, then with others, and ideally with God too.  Or, it could be another place where they'd merely conform to the new group norms - if they feel group acceptance then they're okay?  Maybe they aren't okay if they merely fit in.

For me, it seems that we'd all want to be our true selves walking in a actual relationship with our Creator and God - being okay each day and expectantly living with eternity in view.  Yet, that means that our imagined self would need to be transformed in a sort of death.  Our imagined self, or ego, seems to want an environment that conforms with, and bolsters, this image that's been developed and refined throughout a lifetime.

Just for today...

"'But he knew what I expected,' not realizing that it may have been precisely for this reason that he rebelled and acted otherwise."  One Day at a Time (p. 217)

"Since my parents were my main authorities in my life until then, I expected my boss to treat me the same way my parents did.  I acted on the expectation by shutting down in fear.  If I felt uncomfortable about something in the workplace, I kept quiet. When I felt my employee rights were violated, I stuffed my anger."  Hope for Today (p. 217)

July 18th - No Man is an Island - Thomas Merton

The story...

The life of a monk, I'll never experience.  I do aspire to have the ability to write honestly and robustly about the actualities of my life and faith.  My ability to communicate my reality is hampered by my: limited communication skills; ability to understand my own heart; the few people I share the reality of my faith with; and the interference that my "self" causes. 

I'm so thankful for the faithful life of Thomas Merton - his honest description of his life journey, his faithful walk in Christ, and his ability to describe it so accurately and succinctly.  Contemplating his paragraph copied and cited below is helpful.  I'm not able to add to what he so succinctly presents - just for today.

Just for today...

"To consider persons and events and situations only in the light of their effect upon myself is to live on the doorstep of hell.  Selfishness is doomed to frustration, centered as it is upon a lie. To live exclusively for myself, I must make all things bend themselves to my will as if I were a god. But this is impossible. Is there any more cogent indication of my creaturehood than the insufficiency of my own will? For I cannot make the universe obey me. I cannot make other people conform to my own whims and fancies. I cannot make even my own body obey me.  When I give it pleasure, it deceives my expectation and makes me suffer pain. When I give myself what I conceive to be freedom, I deceive myself and find that I am the prisoner of my own blindness and selfishness and insufficiency."   Merton, Thomas, No Man is an Island (1955) (p. 24)

"I will not resist the impact of a new idea.  It may be just the one I've needed without being aware of it. I will make my mind more flexible and receptive to new points of view."  One Day at a Time (p. 200)

"... I can plant a seed in fertile soil, but I don't help the plant to grow by tugging at the seed in hope that it will sprout. I have to let the process unfold at its own pace."  Courage to Change (p. 200)

July 11th - Even if...

The story...

I regret the times that my emotions got the better of me and I reacted quickly by lashing out at other people.  I treated my band director with public disrespect, I hit one fellow student in the face with a textbook, I threw an ice-cream boat in the face of another, I went on two different long tirades condemning people for their wrongs toward someone I cared deeply for, I yelled at a co-worker in the middle of the office...   I might have let them be and focused on my role in the situation - actually being a better character in the story of life.  I wish these events didn't happen but they did.

Gary has to answer the question "whose your daddy?"  It's not hard to imagine the emotions that're swirling around Gary's head.  Yet, he suppresses those emotions and begins a path that stretches and grows him towards a bigger and better life.  Gary's friend "Dean Martin" stands firm and refuses to grow - he misses out.

"Whose your daddy Gary?"

Will I be okay today even if this or that happens?  Will I treat others with love and respect even if they...?  Am I okay no matter what?  

I'll have emotional responses to the hard happenings that come my way; yet, I can choose how I respond or react.  It does take practice to delay my response from those emotional triggers.  Some say that feelings last no more than 90 seconds yet we can keep restimulating them with our thought patterns.  Oh... the perils of obsessive thinking.

The only church in town will witness each person growing throughout their lives.  I hope that the people will actually "be" who they are in Christ rather than "try" to be good people.  The heat of the battles of life seem to expose who we are.  The Sprit of God and an ongoing relationship with God transforms people.

Just for today...

Why not trade the worrisome thoughts of "what if" with "even if?"

"When angry, count to ten before you speak; if very angry, a hundred."  Thomas Jefferson

July 4th - I wonder if somebody will sit next to me?

The story...

I sat next to a woman on a train to Milwaukee yesterday.  Unexpectedly, we shared much of the important parts of our lives.  Kristen let me know that she had her eye removed with hopes of eradicating the cancer in her body yet she recently discovered that the cancer is now in her liver - there's no known cure for that type of cancer.  She's participating in a sort of holistic program to extend her life with the hope that a new, yet unknown solution, might materialize.

She was a positive person with much support in her life.   We discussed living in 3-month intervals, the pros and cons of hoping for a miracle, difficulties related to thinking about future plans, and the important parts of life that might make a difference into eternity.  I think that we encouraged each other and were both better off for having met and listened to each other with open hearts.  I'm glad that I chose to sit next to her.  I wrote a prayer card and placed it in my prayer box.  I hope that she lives a long fruitful life yet I likely will never know - we shared only our first names.  I wish now we would have traded e-mail addresses.

The only church in town would likely be a place where congregates might expect conversations regarding life's challenges and eternal realities with open, honest, and humble God trusting people.  Human wisdom and hope have limited value when interment is in view.

Just for today...

• Value each person we meet - it's a miracle that each of us is alive.
• Be open to God's leading and resist temptations to be your own little god.
• Seek to understand them - you might open an opportunity to both give and receive love.

June 27th - What might you teach you?

The story...

I'm thankful that I wrote some of my thoughts as I journeyed through life.  I'm often surprised at the clarity of my questions, the degree of focus, and how the conclusions of the moment are helpful to me at a later part of life.  I especially appreciate the sketches - they remind me of the stuff that seems to need more than words and story to remember the more-whole picture.

The following picture is a sketch that I made about a vivid  dream, about ten years ago, where I seemed to be fully interacting.  I woke up with the type of memory, consternation, and feelings that sometimes come from events that we experience in reality.

"The dream was so... real..."

My video recordings of my lectures were often difficult for me to review or improve.  When I developed a new course, I: studied multiple textbooks; reviewed seminal and current journal articles related to the body of knowledge; searched for current events; and reflected on how the knowledge was worked out within my own work life.  Therefore, the lectures seemed richer and more integrated than I might create at a later, less prepared, point in time.  I was often humbled by what a younger version of me could teach me about the subject.  This being true, I ignored the stammers, the awkward pauses, and the misspoken words that'd be sprinkled in.  The imperfections were actually part of the richness of the reality of life - the stuff that makes life more real and comfortable.

The people congregating within the only church in town will become comfortable together.  They'd have opportunities to honestly reflect on the reality of their lives together. These shared experiences, thoughts, prayers, and daily happenings would be perceived increasingly inline within the will of God.  They'd see the Spirit of Christ worked out through real people whose hearts are partially revealed to them.

Just for today...

"... if I listen to my words, I find that I usually tell those whom I sponsor exactly what I myself need to hear."  Courage to Change (p. 179)

April 17th - Try Giving Up Trying

The story...

Dale Carnegie wrote the book "How to Win Friends & Influence People."  I'm not a big fan of self-help books but this one's a gem.  Self-help books often teach ways that people are asked to "try" to be better - ways they aren't capable of following due to inherent personal flaws.  For me, "do" is a much better word than "try" - "try" suggests that failure's a likely outcome.

I've read, and listened to, Carnegie's book about ten times. It's crazy good and helpful.  I've found myself thinking on and "doing" his suggestions throughout my life with good result.

One of my favorite characters in the book is Teddy Roosevelt.  He knew each of the White House servants by name. The night before a person visited the White House would find him reading about what was most interesting to the visitor.  If the boy was interested in sailboats then he read about sailboats.  Those people loved him back and Teddy grew and grew to become...  

The only church in town would be characterized by love.  A growing love within the umbrella of the Spirit of Christ.  Congregates, within this Body of Christ, would increasingly listen and love as they "do" or work out the reality of their lives as individuals and together too within community - actually interested in, listening to, and caring for each other..

Just for today...

"My best efforts to be noticed, listened to, appreciated, and loved were failing. . . As I focused my actions on a loving principle, my character defect of craving attention from people who couldn't give it was removed."  Hope for Today (p. 108)

"If the group's plans seem designed to benefit the greatest number of people, I can usually support them.  I don't mean that I ignore my own needs and feelings - I express them.  But others have needs too, and I must respect them."  Courage for Today (p. 108)

April 6th - The Rifleman

The story...

I knew a guy, from my dorm floor in college, who I coined the nickname: "The Rifleman."  The nickname stuck and we became pretty-good friends.  We both received hand-held Coleco football games for Christmas.

We began a friendly competition of scoring the most points on the skill-level 1 setting.  I'd set the record and he'd break it the next day.  Other people knew about our "game" and would mention the Rifleman's new high score while passing me on campus - "No way!"  I found that vibrating the eraser-end of a pencil was a good way to speed the red blip across the screen.  He copied me and even improved my method. I tried a variety of pencil erasers to get the best "action."  Inevitably, he'd break each of my records.  My behavior degraded to the point that I found myself in my dorm room, in the middle of a school day, sweating as I attempted to get that more perfect game and attain yet another high score.  That day, a good friend of mine barged into my room.  She was met by my anxious call to "don't bother me now, I've got a good one going!"   They said loudly and directly, "look what you're turning into, do you really want to live like this?"  To my surprise, I was able to see my behavior, in the light of day, and was a bit disgusted with how far I drifted off course - this was the end of my battle with the Rifleman.

How will people in the only church in town know if they're running quickly, maybe recklessly, in the wrong direction?  I'd hope that a leader, or good friend, would recognize that their behavior's outside the will of God and communicate the message in a manner that might be received - shine light on the truth.  For me, it seems that I need to be confronted directly - others may need a more subtle and sensitive approach.

Just for today...

"I used humor as a manipulative tool to get people to like me.  My witty comments were carefully timed.  My sense of humor wasn't spontaneous or appropriate.  I used it to please people.  When no one was around to please, however, I was miserable and self-loathing."  Hope for Today (p. 97)

March 30th - Thermostat or Thermometer?

The story...

I was alone for 12 days while my spouse was traveling.  I kept busy doing projects and meeting with people, at least once, every day.  It was good to pick her up at the airport and return to a more normal home life.  However, I noticed that I began speaking more loudly and quickly when telling a good story or discussing daily events.  I noticed the change in intensity and made adjustments by lowering my voice and slowing down.  I mentioned this to her and she noticed the changes I was making.  She said that it was just fine the way things were yet I think that quieter and less intense is preferable.  Maybe it's just the way I am due to growing up with four loud siblings.

I mentioned this story to a pastor friend and asked him if he believed this to be a worthy personal change effort.  He encouraged me to work at this better communication style.  And, he relayed a wise metaphor that he found helpful.  When entering the room, you can choose to be either a thermometer or a thermostat.  A thermometer matches the "temperature" of the room while the thermostat can change the "temperature" of the room.

I expect that the only church in town would have a temperature, or level of intensity, that allows for all people to feel more comfortable, respected, loved, and engaged.  Each player effects the temperature whether it be good or bad.

Just for today...

"My efforts to be selfless by trying to please everyone but myself weren't working.  The focus was on their response rather than on what seemed right for me to do."  Courage to Change (p. 90)

"Until I am intimate with myself and treat myself with compassion, kindness, trust, acceptance, and love, I can't be the spouse, friend, son, or father I want to be." Hope for Today (p. 90)

March 13th - Our stories

The story...

Jesus taught through parables to both subtly teach and deliver tough messages indirectly.  I remember stories and love to share them - yes, I am a "story teller." I ponder stories that don't make sense to me. Movies with poor or unreasonable story lines . . . "ugh." 

Sometimes life experiences don't make sense, the related thoughts linger on until I reach some sort of conclusion.  Hours later I find myself saying: "That's what they were trying to tell me!"   I must miss most of the messages that I was intended to receive - story helps.

A friend and I watched almost all of the Seinfeld TV series episodes.  Each of the episodes were stories about common events with humorous way of looking at them.  When bringing a gift to an event, my friend will often say: "who is going to carry in the 'big salad'?"  We laugh when remembering the uncomfortable situation that the Seinfeld story embedded in our minds.  These common stories seem to help us communicate more quickly and succinctly as friends do.  I expect that friends share a common set of life stories that contain much of the history and meaning of their relationship.  It'd be more difficult to express yourself to another person without these common reference points.

Commonly understood stories can set the groundwork for sharing, more precisely and accurately, bigger or more complex ideas.  These bigger ideas are related to bigger questions that people like me have a hard time ignoring or accepting simple solution{s) to the questions they beg.

The only church in town would have stories from: scripture, the full-group, the sub-group, and the individual members too. This fuller set of stories help make more sense of life, God, people, and me too.  I'm thankful that I've attended the same church for a long period of time.  Yes, the only church in town would have long-term relationships.  No more church splits or church hopping?

Just for today...

"I came to see how, as a child, I had played a role in creating the dynamics of my family. Not knowing how to manage uncomfortable feelings, I tried to stuff them deep down inside, but they didn't go away. Instead, they led me to behave in ways that perpetuated the feelings."  Hope for Today (p. 73)

February 18th - Try it on

The story...

Tens of years ago, I worked within an organization as a manager.  One year, the organization went through great pains to provide me, and my peers, with an actionable performance review through a process called 360-degree feedback.  One of the suggestions, for my personal growth, was to start writing my own blog.  I was surprised by this suggestion and checked with my peers to see if they received the same advice.  No, it was just for me.  Why would I write a blog?  I already felt confident as a writer and communicator - how would spending my time on a blog help me?   As I now know, I missed a great opportunity, like a gift all wrapped up with a bow on top.  Yet, I wouldn't even open the box to try it on.  Like a person who needs a new jacket yet critiques every one they see without even bothering to try one on.

Are my suit coats boring or what?

I hope that the only church in town would retain the essential doctrine and way for developing a right relationship with God in Christ.  They would offer people opportunities to "try on" the new way of growing and working out their faith - in reality.

Just for today...

"I recognize the same shortcomings, in me, I once eagerly pointed out in others.  It is easier to accept the limitations of others when I acknowledge my own."  Courage to Change (p. 49)

"We may think we can change the things around us according to our desires, but when a solution does come, we find it was our desires that had changed."  One Day at a Time  (p. 49)

January 5th - Close Friendships are Worthy - "muchness"

The story...

I've planned to meet a friend today in a coffee shop that bakes wonderfully large and tasty cookies.  The refillable-ceramic coffee mugs, throngs of people huddled closely together in conversation, and the big cookie, all feel like "muchness" to me.  "Muchness" is a British romantic word meaning greatness in quantity and degree - it's a really good word to me.

My friend will update me on the reality of his life and I'll have the opportunity to do the same.  I don't need to plan what I'm going to say - our relationship is big enough that we've many ways to build on it.  It sure helps to have a listening ear that seeks to understand both my message and me better - our past interactions have led me to believe that he truly has my best interest at heart.  When I tell a story that doesn't seemed to be aligned with who he knows me to be - he'll challenge me in a kind sort of way.  This close relationship thing is real good.  I'm not so naive to think that he's fully engaged in all my stories yet I know he wants to be.  We grow together as we share our stories - that's real good, and I value him and our relationship, greatly.

Clare Ansberry makes reasonable claims about the amount of time it takes to develop a close friendship within her 1/02/24, Wall Street Journal, article: "It Takes at Least 200 Hours to Make a Close Friendship, and More to Maintain It."  My personal experience suggests that her claims have face validity. 

The only church in town will offer opportunities to discover people who are similar enough to you that you might take the risk, and invest the 200+ hours, to develop a close friendship.  Expect the process to take years rather than weeks.  These relationship endeavors are worthy.  C.S. Lewis said in his book "The Four Loves:"  "Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”   For me, close friends are a key part of the good life - the muchness.

Just for today...

"Am I trying to interfere with the natural consequences of a loved one's choices?  Am I trying to do for someone what they could do for themselves?"  Courage to Change (p. 5)

"Unless I am at peace with the child of God I am, I cannot love and help my neighbor. Regrets are vain. They can interfere with the good I could do today, the making of the better person."  One Day at a Time (p. 5)

December 27th - Shared stories

The story...

By taking the time to care and listen, I heard what it was like to be flogged as punishment for violating a law by entering a middle-east country with a 3.4 oz. bottle of alcohol.  Men have told me what it's like to worship the sun, Mohammad, Buddha, and their Messiah in many different ways.  People who worship God charismatically have always been interesting to hear out when they felt less guarded and more trusting.  A man shared what it was like to only remember clearly what'd happened about 60 years ago or before.  A 30-year-old woman explained what it was like to be an illegal immigrant from Russia while we recreated on a boat in Texas - they're required to read classic literature in Russian high schools.  A landlord explained what it was like to be free from the obligations of the Lutheran church in Duluth, MN - she had a hard time believing that I chose to go church when no one would know the difference.  A woman shared how it felt to be excommunicated from her church in Tennessee for cutting her hair.  Many older people have described how their more honest assessment of their self and humble worship and trusting in God's provision have brought contentment and peace in situations that were unimaginable to me.  A Buddhist professor explained how he valued the contentment afforded by not perceiving situations as either good or bad.  All of these conversations are precious to me and are part of the width, length and height of my story too.

What a joy to be able to seek to understand another person in conversation.  To be willing to listen to and understand a part of how their life worked out - what they value too.  I especially appreciate listening to people who are significantly different from me.  As I ponder those that I remember, I'm so thankful for each one - I can't imagine giving up what I've learned from other lives.  People's shared experiences and hearts are such a joy to me - truly precious.  It saddens me to hear of people who remain isolated from others and seek to find contentment through a relationship with a pet.

The only church in town will value the variety of lives that makes up their congregation as they worship in a common faith.  I love my church family and appreciate all who came before me, traveled with me, and those who I will interact with in the days I have left.  I wonder how many more breaths I will be given traveling on this spinning orb?

Just for today...

"...no one person's view is totally complete . . . I can be grateful for the chance to see that there are countless ways to looking at life . . . I use to take disagreements personally. One of us had to be wrong, and my position had to be accepted! . . . I don't have to invalidate anyone else's views in order to validate my own . . . Today I will respect someone's right to think differently."  Courage to Change (p. 362)

December 15th - Listening to and truly understanding another point of view

The story...

I went through a period of brokenness a few years ago - I needed help with a situation that was overwhelming me.  I needed help and knew that my withdrawal and isolation from the problem(s) was not helping.  Thankfully, there was a friend who cared for me and suggested that I meet with a group of people who shared similar life battles - they'd helped both him and others he knew.  I went, I felt understood, the environment was comfortable, and I actually learned how to understand before seeking to be understood - to actually receive love and offer love too.  It's good being with people like that.

Even though the people within the group come and go as their needs change - I truly love them and feel loved by them too.  I wish other groups could be like that.  Yet, strangely as I grew towards a more fully-functioning human, all of the groups that I'm a part of seemed to improve too.  Yes, we rub off on each other and perceive situations differently as we grow.

The only church in town will have groups and friends who you can grow and walk through life with.  Yes, you can come closer to whom you were created to be.  Yet, most importantly, you can become right with your Creator and begin to walk rightly with Him - that's the relationship that lasts.

I hope that you enjoy todays readings.  They're but a sample of those that helped me during my time of need and in an ongoing way today too.  I'm thankful for each of these writers who shared a chunk of the reality of their lives.

Just for today...

"How could I turn my will and my life over to the care of God? . . . It felt so scary to think that I was out of control . . . I wondered what absolute surrender would feel like, and how I would know if I was doing it? . . . He said that turning our will over is like dancing with a partner. If both try to lead, there is much confusion and little forward movement. . . .  But when the partner is willing to relax and let the other partner do the steering, the couple flows easily across the dance floor."  Courage to Change (p. 350)

"Changing myself is such a big job that it keeps me fully occupied . . . I don't let myself get discouraged. Perfection never really has worried me because I know it's unattainable. Instead, I'm thrilled with the small, daily changes I can make in my attitudes and actions."  Hope for Today (p. 350)

"This one day I can easily cope with, if I have not frittered away my energies on destructive emotions, and if I do not provoke antagonism by criticisms, complaints and reproaches."  One Day at a Time (p. 350)

November 28th - What's it like to be heard?

The story...

It's a special thing to be in a relationship where you both: have similar aims; are free to be honest; communicate openly and respectfully; and are understood by a listener who's actually capable of understanding you - they actually care.  If the sharing is balanced, you'll likely grow together and look forward to every meeting.  I'm so thankful for my close fiends.

I hope you enjoy these three friendship quotes from C.S. Lewis's book "The Four Loves."  I've listened, and enjoyed an audio version of this book at least a half-dozen times - enjoy!

• “Friendship ... is born at the moment when one man says to another "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .”
  
  
• “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."
  
  
• “I have no duty to be anyone's Friend and no man in the world has a duty to be mine. No claims, no shadow of necessity. Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself (for God did not need to create). It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”

― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

The only church in town will be a group that contains many friends that make up a better whole.  They will share a common aim, hope, and experience - together.  Each friendship, a good story in the epic saga of life.

Just for today...

"I lugged my childhood grudges into adulthood . . . All I really needed was to be heard. Then I could let go of some ugly feelings."  Hope for Today (p. 333)

"I will learn . . . to recognize my errors, to see the roadblocks of self-will and self-righteousness I have been putting in my way. Then I will no longer insist that a thing is impossible because I have been unable to accomplish it."  One Day at a Time (p. 333)

"Many of the things I had once thought of as virtues - taking care of everyone around me, worrying about other people's lives, sacrificing my own happiness and prosperity - turned out to be the causes of my misery!"  Courage to Change (p. 333)