September 14th - Painful life lessons - pearls or thorns?

The story...

"You're going to have foot surgery on both of your feet?  That's great, you'll be in a wheelchair and bring light on all the handicap access limitations within our facilities.  Why not do the wheelchair option and indirectly help others along the way."   I accepted the surgery one foot at a time - traded the concept of a wheelchair with the reality of crutches.  My struggles with my crutches did require me to receive help, and possibly love, from other people; but, I didn't expose the handicap limitations that some hoped I would.

I remember standing in the snow, on my crutches, trying to work the card reader, with my bag dangling from my shoulder, attempting to open the entry door - I couldn't do it.   I had to wait for another early bird to arrive and open it for me.  I couldn't do this on my own and needed the help.  The experience was real good for me - it was teaching me to be both less self reliant and to receive kindness from others too.  Strangely, these painful life lessons were good and I was "lucky" enough to repeat the process twice.

So, I believe the painful experience was actually of  great value like a pearl; yet, I want to avoid similar pain today.  Okay, that doesn't make sense - I will to remain thankful for life within all circumstances today.  I stand in thankfulness for God's provision for today, tomorrow, and for all eternity - that's a good place to be.

People, who choose to live their life out within the only church in town, would recognize the value of all life experiences worked out within the will of God.  They'll enjoy relationships with others whom they can express and receive loving kindness along the way.  They'll recognize God's provision for those who accept His love and our His - "abba" father!

Just for today...

"The lessons were too painful - I would get excited about something, only to have my hopes shattered. As time passed and hope diminished, I fell deeper into despair. Eventually I shut down my feelings and refused to care or to hope for anything at all . . . It is risky to care - I may be disappointed. But in trying to protect myself from pain, I could cut  myself off from the many delights that life has to offer. I will live more fully today."   Courage to Change (p. 258)

August 23rd - Wait . . . there is something wrong with them . . . they might need help?

The story...

Along with other retired people, I sometimes drive around town on weekdays between 10am and 11am.  Some days, I forget and become frustrated with slow and unexpected driving maneuvers.  The feelings drive me to say, in my mind, something like: "Is there something wrong with you?"  Strangely, that's the first part of a better more heartfelt question:  "Is there something wrong with you, and how might I help and love ya neighbor?"

We know that everybody has strengths and weaknesses.  Even the most saintly servant of God has a sin nature that motivates them to make sub-optimal, self-satisfying, decisions and maneuvers.  Some aren't capable or ready to do better and they need our help.

The only church in town will honestly preach the reality of our life in Christ - right and safe with God in Christ.  Lasting peace and purpose will be found there amidst life's circumstances.  They need you there and you might just be loved there too.

A good friend suffered here alone; yet, he wasn't alone.

Just for today...

"I developed a tremendous fear of making mistakes. It seemed crucial to cover every possible outcome, because mistakes often led to an avalanche of accusations and abuse from . . . and eventually from myself . . . When I stop struggling to be perfect and admit when I am wrong, I can let go of my guilt and shame."  Courage to Change (p. 236)

August 22nd - Why not live an honest, hopeful, joyful, and peaceful life?

The story...

What a joy to spend a couple of hours with a good friend sharing life together - the time investment always seem fruitful.  Good friends share common: stories, reference points, sense of safety, and knowledge that the other has their better interest at heart - a fellow creature who's truly willing and able to understand and grow together.  I'm so thankful for my good friends... 

It seems that all of my most probing meaning-of-life discussions have drilled down to a most important directive that God has revealed:  "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and strength.  And, love your neighbor as yourself."  So, why not just go out and love God, love yourself, and, from these strengths and power, love your neighbors too?  Well, it's because it's not within our constitution, will, and power do so.  Yet people try hard to be a better version of themselves and even fund a never-ending series of self-help books to help them try.  Self-improvement efforts likely end up trying to bend reality to suit our will with us acting as a sort of pathetic little "god,"  A little god who imagines there attributes to be far greater than they are and who finds pleasure in thinking that all others want to be more like them.  They often spew out "advice" and direction as to how others might be reworked into their own self-image of perfection.  UGH...

So, how might we take the first step of loving God when our sin is abhorrent to, and incompatible with, a relationship with Him?  We might will an imaginary idea of God who is compatible with our life code and experiences; yet, there's no real power in that.  We could listen to the good news, the gospel, that God has done all the work of removing our relationship sin barrier through His own great work in Christ.  Simply trust in God's great work and walk through life in His light where reality and sin are illuminated for what they are.  Why not walk the path of living an honest, humble, hopeful, joyful, and peaceful life in Christ?  Romans 15:13  Not following the path by doubting the possibility is _ _ _ _ _ _!

The good news of the gospel would be the common theme of every meeting within the only church in town.  People would hear the good news and the life testimonies of real people.  Close friends will likely be found there too - those whom you can walk side-by-side with on your journey to the celestial city.  I hope that you'll join me in praising God in Christ and resting in thankfulness, peace, and the power of God almighty

Just for today...

"Yet what do I do with the thorns of resentment and hatred when they pierce my thoughts? Do I leave them there and watch them grow, while I suffer increasingly from the pain?"  One Day at a Time (p. 235)

"I wanted to know how to become an adult with sound values, self-respect, and self-esteem. I sought this lesson from everybody - my parents, employers, spouses, children, friends etc.  - everybody but God and myself . . . I had to stop sabotaging myself by looking on the outside for something that exists only within."   Hope for Today (p. 235)

August 2nd - Active Verbs for Living a Good Life?

The story...

Assuming we've an idea as to what a "good life" is; then, how do we live it out?  What active verbs might best describe how to "learn to live?"  My brainstorming exercise resulted in the following twenty-four active verbs: Abide, Ask, Be, Blog, Build, Encourage, Enjoy, Forgive, Imagine, Invest, Leave, Listen, Love, Plant, Pray, Read, Receive, Sense, Sing, Stretch, Thank, Trust, Wail, and Water.  It took awhile to build a longer list and then reduce it down to 24 - my favorite number.  Yes, living can be overwhelmingly complex or as simple as...

Somebody asked me to volunteer to help out with a youth mentoring organization in July 2023.   A good friend of mind encouraged me to say yes.  I entered too much information on the application and met with the program director.  Their mission is to mentor at-risk kids to increase the likelihood of them living a good life.  It's a worthy mission, I'm available, it seems like it'd be part of a good life, so I said yes.  Is my decision part of  God's Will?  Yes, saying yes was a reasonable and good response - good life building results seem likely.

People will have opportunities, within the only church in town, to engage in a life that's bigger than self.  Yes, there'll be opportunities to exercise all twenty-four active verbs.  God's Will is certainly worked out beyond the boundaries of the church so I expect that our opportunities to apply these active verbs are endless.

Just for today...

"When my thoughts are centered on learning to live, I will be less tempted to involve my mind with the thoughts of how others live."  One Day at a Time (p. 215)

July 29th - Live a peaceful or exciting life?

The story...

People in their 60's often tell me about the exciting things they want to do with their free time that wasn't available within the last few stages of life.  Attention to their duties of life prevented them from living the "good life" that they expect to experience with that RV, second house, doting on grand children, extended vacations, bigger barn, hobby, tower building, financial investments, physical endurance feats, novel writing, life trophy...  Now, they're "free" to live the good life - self actualizing.

Why was this "good life" not available to them during the bulk of their more productive and capable years?  I expect that this question is worthy of self reflection - getting to the root cause(s).

Some people seem to resent my vision of the "good life" - living a peaceful life humbly walking with God in the present - enjoying interactions with people, creation, and His presence.  Practicing loving the Lord my God with all my heart, mind and soul and my neighbor as myself.  That seems like a worthy overarching goal - a North Star.

I hope that people in the only church in town would be free to be honest with themselves and the reality of what God's revealed for us.  His Word says He desires to enjoy those whose hearts are His and that we can enjoy walking humbly with Him too in the midst of all life circumstances.  The pull of the actualities of people's lives into "the world" will continually challenge truths revealed in God's Word.  Yet, they'll witness the effects of "That Than Which There is No Greater."  Why not trust God and be thankful?

Just for today...

"Quiet can be achieved with complete silence, but if the silence has in it even a trace of anger or hostility, it loses all its power . . . Most angry words have no basis in logic or reason anyway, so why need they hurt me?"  One Day at a Time (p. 211)

July 21st - Does a birdfeeder help or hurt the birds?

The story...

I've enjoyed feeding birds over the last few years.  Surely, they don't need seed in May yet they seem to appreciate it the rest of the year.  We can sense the community of nature around our house and feeders.  The squirrels, turkey and deer search the area for fallen seed.  More birds seem to live and nest in the area. Our chunk of the woods seems more alive and vibrant.  The sound of singing birds contribute to a sense of peacefulness.

The bird feeding naysayers say that the bird population might rise artificially to an unsustainable level, or it's a waste of time and money, or they may catch diseases from their close proximity to each other, or the woodpeckers will tear our house up, or we'll stop feeding them and upset the ecosystem.  The costs of living in a bird community are too high - the birds must live independently in order to survive.

Turkeys, squirrel, & deer must wish they'd get at the source of that seed.

The only church in town will be kind of like my bird feeder.  People congregate and feed off good together.  The people are different and don't always get along yet they need each other.  It certainly is a place to spread summer colds.  The quality of the food delivery can vary and some will say "idealistically" it should be different.  Yet the source is available to them - truth from the Word God.

As for me and my house, we plan on continuing to enjoy feeding the birds and feeding our hearts, minds, souls, and spirits along with our fellow sojourners within church.

Just for today...

"At best my family had poor communication or none at all. It seemed no one was available to help me. In fact, I usually was the recipient of criticisms and complaints. Instead of feeling united with my family, I felt isolated and alone."  Hope for Today (p. 203)

"When I let go of a situation, I allow life to unfold according to that plan. I open my mind and let other ways of thinking or behaving enter in. When I let go of another person, I am affirming their right to live their own life, to make their own choices, and to grow as they experience the results of their actions."  Courage to Change (p.203)

July 19th - Why didn't you just ask?

The story...

I first saw it while I quickly ran down the stairs on Christmas morning.  There it was!   It was blue, my favorite color, shiny, big and a 5-speed.  My parents got me a man-sized bike for Christmas!  I don't remember begging for it yet I might've.  Maybe my mother felt my need when she saw that other kids had full-sized bikes and that I was still riding the hand-me-down bike.  Maybe they felt obligated to give it to me because they did the same for my older siblings.  It was a real need and it was met well.  It might've been part of the reason that I accepted a paper route that I kept for four years.  That paper route helped shape me into a better, more capable, person.  The paper route prepared me to accept my job as the drug-store delivery boy.  And the drug-story delivery boy job prepared me for...  Yes, that bike was a need that was worth asking for.

Mine wasn't a Schwinn but it did have a rack on the back.

I wanted so many things that I didn't ask for.  Why?  Maybe, I didn't' think that people would want to give them to me.  Or, I was comfortable with the way things were even though they weren't great.  Maybe, I developed coping skills that told me that I was better off than others and I didn't need anything - they were wrong and I was right.  Or, I didn't know if I was capable of using the thing if I got it.  Maybe, if I got it, I might lose it someday. Or, maybe I simply feared rejection.  Maybe, I wanted to be loved above all other things and the "no" answer would move the possibility of being loved even further away...

The only church in town would be a safe place where your need for love might best be understood and at least partially fulfilled.   Yes, our ultimate need is to love the Lord our God with all our heart, mind and strength.  And, to love our neighbor as ourself.  That kind of stuff sounds real good and worthy of asking for.

Just for today...

"If I want or need something, I have to let someone know.  I need to ask, which means taking risks.  Maybe my request will be granted; maybe it won't.  If it is, great. If it isn't, I'll still feel better for having asked, and then I can move on to someone else who might be able to help me."  Hope for Today (p. 201)

"Walls are solid and rigid; they keep others out, and they keep me trapped inside.  Boundaries are flexible, changeable, removable, so it's up to me how open or closed I'll be at any given time.  They let me me decide what behavior is acceptable, not only from others but from myself."  Courage to Change (p. 201)

July 16th - EGO maintenance or replacement?

The story...

A Human Resources representative delivered a 360 degree performance evaluation to me and summarized the feedback that she received with one phrase: "It's all about you."  I appreciated the honest feedback yet it stung.  Sure I talk about me and what I'm interested in most.  Who else's ideas could I share?  Okay, I didn't know the names of my work-group's family members - why is that a problem?  I'm a story teller, who else's stories can I tell?  The feedback was valuable and I never forgot it.  It took effort and courage to develop and deliver that feedback to me - I'm extremely grateful that she succinctly delivered the feedback in a manner that I received it.  My self awareness grew much that day.

So, my ego is that part of my conscience mind which I consider myself.  It's who I'm referring to when I use the word "I."  Is it a worthy endeavor to better understand and value my ego?  When does self-awareness and development turn that nasty corner toward narcissism?   Am, I lovable as I am?  Can I love me without being consumed by self-love and falling into loneliness and despair?  What's a healthy level of self-esteem?

My favorite verse of the bible is a wish that the Apostle Paul sends to a congregation of people in Rome whom he'd never met.  I wish the same thing for me and for you too.  

"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."  Romans 15:13 NASB

The "selves" who walk into the only church in town would find what they're looking for in a right relationship with God and His community.  There they may find that healthy ego that enables a person to live a more satisfying, joyful, peaceful, and fruitful life.  Hopefully they'll witness, meet, and walk with people who're trusting God.

Why is it so hard for a man to bend his knee and trust in God and His provision for the "good" life?  Why is faith in God and His Word soo... elusive for most people?  The self seems to rebel against this threat to it's supreme authority and preeminence.  It's almost like our old self is trying to save itself from being transformed from that caterpillar to the butterfly.

Just for today...

"Maturity is the capacity to withstand ego-destroying experiences, and not lose one's perspective in the ego-building experiences."  Robert K. Greenleaf

“Despair is the absolute extreme of self-love. It is reached when a person deliberately turns his back on all help from anyone else in order to taste the rotten luxury of knowing himself to be lost.”  Thomas Merton

July 4th - I wonder if somebody will sit next to me?

The story...

I sat next to a woman on a train to Milwaukee yesterday.  Unexpectedly, we shared much of the important parts of our lives.  Kristen let me know that she had her eye removed with hopes of eradicating the cancer in her body yet she recently discovered that the cancer is now in her liver - there's no known cure for that type of cancer.  She's participating in a sort of holistic program to extend her life with the hope that a new, yet unknown solution, might materialize.

She was a positive person with much support in her life.   We discussed living in 3-month intervals, the pros and cons of hoping for a miracle, difficulties related to thinking about future plans, and the important parts of life that might make a difference into eternity.  I think that we encouraged each other and were both better off for having met and listened to each other with open hearts.  I'm glad that I chose to sit next to her.  I wrote a prayer card and placed it in my prayer box.  I hope that she lives a long fruitful life yet I likely will never know - we shared only our first names.  I wish now we would have traded e-mail addresses.

The only church in town would likely be a place where congregates might expect conversations regarding life's challenges and eternal realities with open, honest, and humble God trusting people.  Human wisdom and hope have limited value when interment is in view.

Just for today...

• Value each person we meet - it's a miracle that each of us is alive.
• Be open to God's leading and resist temptations to be your own little god.
• Seek to understand them - you might open an opportunity to both give and receive love.

June 13th - Love 'em Just the Way They Are or Control 'em?

The story...

As a boy, I learned how to conform to the norms of the family, friends, classroom and the church.  When I was rejected by the teacher, peer groups, family members, or "that girl," then I adapted, rolled with punches, and even crafted my own role to "act" out.  As an adolescent, I often rebelled against the system.

I played the cornet in the band throughout middle school and high school.  This was the group that I best identified with.  However, I "pushed back" against the control that was exercised by the band director.  I refused to participate in any performance challenges during my Junior year.  I merely picked up my horn case and moved down to the lower seat.  This only worked out because the best trumpet player also joined me.  The director solved the problem by putting us in a trumpet section - we actually played more of the melody together.  

Controlling to the Extreme

The band director asked that I record my practice hours on a card during my senior year.  He let me know that it was for my benefit and did not require a parent signature.  I took it home and entered two weeks of zeros.  I asked my mom and dad to both sign the practice card - they did.  The band director looked at the signed practice sheet and said: "It appears that this isn't going to work with you."

I worked as a drug-store delivery boy and was assigned to work a Friday evening and would need to miss the football game.  The director would not accept my excuse and told me that he better see me in the band formation prior to the game.  I went to work anyway and drove the delivery car through the band formation while waving at the director.  I earned a "D" in band my senior year.

During my Senior year of college I brought two of my friends to my home town and actually took them on a tour of my High School.  The band director saw me as I was making moves to avoid him.  I was shocked at how respectfully he treated me and my friends.  I'm so thankful for that man and how he worked to shape that rebellious spirit in me. He wasn't the last person to reach out to help me.

The people in the only church in town will be wonderfully created to be unique and more complete as a group.  Strangely people are drawn to adapt their behavior, or role play, in order to fit the group's expectations of who they should be.  Hopefully, the only church in town would love 'em as they are and offer them a path to grow their faith in their own way and at their own pace.  I'm so thankful that the Patriarchs of the bible were often rebels who God loved and redeemed.

Just for today...

"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image.  Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them."  Thomas Merton:  No Man is an Island.

June 10th - My mentor is gone...

 The story...

Dr. Charles Stanley died on April 19th, 2023 at 90 years of age.  I loved my own father yet Charles Stanley served me as a sort of spiritual father for more than 40 years.  I was crushed when a best friend shared the news with me - I grieved for about three hours yet the sense of loss lingered.  I no longer have a mentor.  Surely I had other mentors but they're gone too.  I've strong friendships but they're not mentors.  Maybe my mentors needed to go away for me to more fully trust in God - to work out the life of faith that I've been gifted with - to be a mentor.

I'm so... thankful that his ministry continues on YouTube.  Strangely, his radio channel, and selected messages, are now even more meaningful to me.  Maybe it's because I imagine him being with, and in, Christ at the right hand of God.  That's my aim too.

The only church in town will minister to people in each season of life.  Loving, learning, worshipping, praying, restoring, suffering, remembering, experiencing, praising, serving, mentoring, and saying goodbyes too.  Hopefully, no person will be left behind.

Just for today...

"I didn't get many of the things that I needed to thrive emotionally and spiritually.  Things like consistency, structure, encouragement, and acceptance of my feelings were missing . . . Caring for myself first is part of caring for others."  Hope for Today (p. 162)

"Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they're yours."  Richard Bach

June 2nd - Feelings of Unfairness "Morphed" into Thankfulness?

The story...

I'm sitting hear trying to think of an example of when I was treated unfairly.  I can think of a continuous stream of them yet I can't work up that one good example.  Maybe it's because thankfulness has pushed out the space where I stored resentments?  I hope so.

I'm so thankful today.  Pain and suffering are sure to come yet my hopes for the future are positive.  I look forward to continual growth and am thankful for life.  Yes, I'm thankful for that last full breath of air as it entered my lungs as cool air and left as a warm exhale.

The bread of life...

The people within the only church in town would be thankful and generally okay.  The grace of God witnessed in action through people with skin on them.  They'd be more capable of loving God, themselves, and other people too.  Unfairness would meet up with grace - grace would win.

Just for today...

"No amount of self-discipline can heal us from resentment.  Sometimes it seems the more we struggle against it, the more it sneaks up on us, surging like a dark sickness into the mind, plunging our emotions into turmoil."  One Day at a Time (p. 154)

May 30th - Does it Seem Wrong to Be Kind to Yourself?

The story...

Are there good guys and bad guys in life?  Or, are we all under the curse of sin and death - bad guys?

I recently met a really good person who remembers only a few times when she rebelled against authority and acted out badly.  She seems compliant and appears to genuinely care for and love other people.  I've met other people who seem rebellious by nature and challenge most direction and attempts to control them - started as a baby and never stopped.  Personally, I tend to fall on the rebellious side of the continuum. 

On May 7, 1931, the most sensational manhunt New York City had ever known had come to its climax.

After weeks of search, "Two Gun" Crowley - the killer, the gunman who didn't smoke or drink - was at bay, trapped in his sweetheart's apartment on West End Avenue. One hundred and fifty policemen and detectives laid siege to his top floor hideaway. They chopped holes in the roof; they tried to smoke out Crowley, the "cop killer," with teargas. Then they mounted their machine guns on surrounding buildings, and for more than an hour one of New York's fine residential areas reverberated with the crack of pistol fire and the rut-tat-tat of machine guns. Crowley, crouching behind an over-stuffed chair, fired incessantly at the police. Ten thousand excited people watched the battle. Nothing like it ever been seen before on the sidewalks of New York.

When Crowley was captured, Police Commissioner E. P. Mulrooney declared that the two-gun desperado was one of the most dangerous criminals ever encountered in the history of New York.

"He will kill," said the Commissioner, "at the drop of a feather." But how did "Two Gun" Crowley regard himself? We know, because while the police were firing into his apartment, he wrote a letter addressed "To whom it may concern, " And, as he wrote, the blood flowing from his wounds left a crimson trail on the paper. In this letter Crowley said: "Under my coat is a weary heart, but a kind one - one that would do nobody any harm. "

A short time before this, Crowley had been having a necking party with his girl friend on a country road out on Long Island. Suddenly a policeman walked up to the car and said: "Let me see your license." Without saying a word, Crowley drew his gun and cut the policeman down with a shower of lead. As the dying officer fell, Crowley leaped out of the car, grabbed the officer's revolver, and fired another bullet into the prostrate body. And that was the killer who said: "Under my coat is a weary heart, but a kind one - one that would do nobody any harm. '

 How to Win Friends And Influence People, Dale Carnegie

Scripture says that all men and women are unholy and separated from our Holy Creator by our selfish nature and the sin that oozes out.   We would all remain separate from God during this life and throughout eternity unless God alone redeemed and reconciled us.  Humans can enter their most important relationship with Him solely based on being identified with Christ and the atoning work He performed through His death and resurrection.  He did the heavy lifting and died for our sin - He paid our debt.  Yes, we can be holy in the site of God in Christ.

Do I have to beat myself up for not being consistently good?  No.  I can walk each day loving God and my neighbor as myself based solely on the great work that God's done on my behalf.  Wow, I can truly rest in the goodness of God.  I can be kind to myself just as I am - praise God.

How would the only church in town accept a rebellious man within their congregation?  I expect that they'd start with acknowledging that they're all somewhere on the rebellion-compliance continuum and that they all need the gift of God's grace daily.

Just for today...

"If I am hard on myself, I can stop and remember that I deserve gentleness and understanding from myself.  Being human is not a character defect!  Today I will be gentle with my humanness."  Courage to Change (p. 151)

May 20th - The Marriage Contract

The story...

I'm so thankful for my life partner - she said yes 💖.  The marriage contract is a wonderful thing - to love each other, just as we are and will be, till death do we part.  She teaches me to love a bit more each day - I'm so thankful for her...

A marriage contract might work out otherwise.  Meat Loaf sang a wonderful duet "Paradise By The Dashboard Lights."  The protagonist is obsessively thinking and lusting over the girl.  She agrees with the caveat: "yes or no? . . . I gotta know right now . . . Will you make me happy the rest of my life? . . . Will you love me forever?"  He swears on his mother's grave that he'll love her till the end of time - he signs the contract.  Then he prays for the end of time so he can end his time with her.  He'll never break his promise or end his vow.

His relationship didn't seem sustainable.  Love's veiled promise unfulfilled.  Yet, he doesn't break his promise - he suffers along.  What'll he find when he enters the doors of the only church in town?  Justification for divorce, new ways for coping, a diversion, or a new method for changing her?

Within the only church in town, he'd learn about the potential death of his old nature - co-crucified and risen with the Son of God.  He's free from the tyrannical ruler of self -  a new man by the Power of God - yet the contract remains.  Rather than trying to convince her to change, she witnesses the power of God's transformation and may allow God to perform a great work within her heart too.  God does the heavy lifting - there's nothing we can do but trust Him and watch Him work - wow...

Wouldn't that be a great ending stanza to that song?  I don't think so, the song's too good the way it is.  Do you have a favorite song of transformation?  

Just for today...

"Before obsessive thinking takes hold, there is usually a point at which I have to make a choice.  I can opt to mentally toy with a subject that has held my mind hostage in the past or..."  Courage to Change (p. 121)

"Serenity is not abut the end of pain.  It's about my ability to flourish peacefully no matter what life brings my way."  Hope for Today (p. 141)

Lust, forgetful of future suffering, hurries us along the forbidden path."  Claudius Claudianus

May 2nd - Do it Myself Curse

The story...

My dad grew up as the oldest of eight kids during the depression.  Their family didn't have much and worked hard to care for each other.  Once he described, with a tear in his eye, what it was like for the last of the salted pork to be used up in late winter - "who wants to ask their neighbors for food?"  I remember him quoting his mother: "don't buy what you don't need, you might lose it someday."

I admired my dad's resourcefulness - he could do it himself.  So, my brother and I also do it ourselves - the principle was passed on even though we don't need to worry about running out of food this winter.  

Working out the "do it yourself" principle can seem like a curse when: you spend more money, your repair's less reliable, you lose valuable time, you don't allow others to help you, you fret over how you'll fix it without help, or you're overburdened with tools, materials, and spare parts.

"I might need that someday."

I'd rather be more self aware and realistic when: making purchase decisions, deciding when to ask for help, trusting others to do it for me, and assessing my true capabilities.  I want to be available to both give and receive help and love with others.  And, I want to focus my inner man on walking humbly with God in Christ in a more unencumbered way.   

The only church in town would invest their resources and time to both give and receive help and love with others.  In community, they'd walk humbly with God, in Christ, in an increasingly unencumbered way. 

Just for today...

"When I become willing to let go of the need to do it by myself, I can listen to others and receive direction from God."  Courage to Change (p. 123)

"Denial can be a shock absorber for the spirit.  I can respect and be grateful for that survival mechanism, but I'll not hang onto it longer than necessary"  Hope for Today (p. 123)

April 25th - 3rd Eye

The story...

A human resources guy's teaching a meeting facilitation class and I'm a student.  "If you're only looking through your own eyes then you're going to get a limited picture of what's really going on.  What would your third eye see from the top corner of the room?"  

What's really going on in the room?  We know it's impossible to truly know what's going on inside other people; yet, we can receive "tail tell" signs.  What would my third eye see?  The body language, nervous laughter, awkward silence, unexpected comments, beginnings of thoughts not fully expressed, inner-person conflicts working their way out...  Efforts to take my eyes off me and to open my awareness more fully to the bigger picture has helped me be a better facilitator.  As a facilitator, I'm more likely to "get it" and to help the group move toward fulfilling meeting goals.  

These awareness skills and habits take time to develop and require maintenance too.  They get rusty and need the oil can.  Dorothy opens her eyes to her surroundings and discovers a person who she hadn't really noticed before - she finds out that he has "heart" issues.

People would be noticed, valued, and listened to within the only church in town.  People with a loving nature would reach out to better understand the heart issues of others - the things that really matter.  They'd love their neighbor as themselves.  They'd aspire to love others as Christ loved because the Spirit of God indwells those who are His.

Just for today...

"I am introspective when I turn my spiritual energy inward to observe my actions, character, motives, and reactions.  The ensuing awareness helps me see behavior patterns that hold me back from being the person I want to be."  Hope for Today (p. 116)

April 24th - Judged and Rejected

The story...

In the early 1990s, a friend of mine shared an experiment that he tried - he was shocked at the results.  He was a big burly sort of guy who sang in his church choir.  He wore a magnetically attached earring on his left ear lobe one Sunday.  The behaviors and feelings that were overtly expressed by the group were strong and directed towards him.  He was rejected by the group without any words being shared.  I was fascinated by the story so I naively decided to give it a try myself.

I set up the scenario by bemoaning that I needed a change in my life for a few days.  Then I went to the mall with my young son and bought the magnetic earring.  I couldn't lie to my son so he was in on it.  When I walked into the door, the one who loves me most was shocked, doubted the reality, shocked again, doubted the reality again, and then finally, yet reluctantly, accepted this new change.  They were bruised when they realized it was fake and that I'd put them through the emotional anguish.

It was a different story with my siblings and parents.  I later regretted "trying" the same experiment on them.  My mother accepted it right away yet expressed worry about how other family members would react.  My brother curled up in a ball on the couch and rocked back and forth in disbelief.  I don't remember how my sisters reacted yet I think that they decided to wait it out.  My dad fully rejected me and indirectly shared a story about what happened to people like that in the Navy.  I was judged differently by different people.  Would I try an experiment like this again?  No, it wasn't fair to me or for them. I'd rather read about somebody else's experiment - it hurt all of us.

I'm hoping that the only church in town would welcome the whole community.  Oh, if those who were invited to enter the doors could feel the love of God expressed through those who are His...

Just for today...

"I must guard against judging others by my standards.  It means examining and improving those standards and living up to them myself."  One Day at a Time (p. 115)

April 21st - Opinions

The story...

"In my opinion, this is right because of A, B, and C; therefore, I'm right until you prove me wrong." There were at least a dozen different possible interpretations.  Some were more likely than others; yet, only one was true.

Opinions may be likened to barbed wire fences.  We may erect them to keep out the wrong people and the contaminating ideas that go along with them.  In reality, the fences can keep us isolated, narrow minded, stunted and "pricked" each time we bounce into them.

Many of the issues that Christians have with other Christians are related to opinions rather than scriptural or scientific facts.  Christianity and grace seem to go against the natural order of life that I've experienced.  I don't expect that I'd have searched or reasoned out truths about God without them being revealed in scripture.  The things that Jesus is quoted as having said seemed surprising to the people of their day and to me too.  Truly, God's ways are not my ways nor His thoughts my thoughts.

The fundamentals of Christianity are wonderful, operational, and freeing.  The only church in town would focus on working out the essentials while loving and respecting each individual member.

Just for today...

"My intolerance was rooted in two of my main character defects - fear and insecurity.  My opinions were inseparable from my self-image.  If my opinions were wrong, I was wrong.  If my philosophy wasn't good enough, I wasn't good enough."  Hope for Today (p. 112)

"With this solid foundation of love and support, our individual differences can only make us richer as a whole."  Courage to Change (p. 112)

April 17th - Try Giving Up Trying

The story...

Dale Carnegie wrote the book "How to Win Friends & Influence People."  I'm not a big fan of self-help books but this one's a gem.  Self-help books often teach ways that people are asked to "try" to be better - ways they aren't capable of following due to inherent personal flaws.  For me, "do" is a much better word than "try" - "try" suggests that failure's a likely outcome.

I've read, and listened to, Carnegie's book about ten times. It's crazy good and helpful.  I've found myself thinking on and "doing" his suggestions throughout my life with good result.

One of my favorite characters in the book is Teddy Roosevelt.  He knew each of the White House servants by name. The night before a person visited the White House would find him reading about what was most interesting to the visitor.  If the boy was interested in sailboats then he read about sailboats.  Those people loved him back and Teddy grew and grew to become...  

The only church in town would be characterized by love.  A growing love within the umbrella of the Spirit of Christ.  Congregates, within this Body of Christ, would increasingly listen and love as they "do" or work out the reality of their lives as individuals and together too within community - actually interested in, listening to, and caring for each other..

Just for today...

"My best efforts to be noticed, listened to, appreciated, and loved were failing. . . As I focused my actions on a loving principle, my character defect of craving attention from people who couldn't give it was removed."  Hope for Today (p. 108)

"If the group's plans seem designed to benefit the greatest number of people, I can usually support them.  I don't mean that I ignore my own needs and feelings - I express them.  But others have needs too, and I must respect them."  Courage for Today (p. 108)

April 16th - Love Yourself Already- "It's the power of ..."

The story...

It was later in my life when I first heard a respected person say that I needed to love myself before I could fully love others.  The same message was likely dispatched to me at an earlier age but I clearly didn't receive it.  I know I heard the second greatest commandment: "... love your neighbor as yourself."  This is a core tenant of Judeo-Christianity; so, why was this so hard to first comprehend?

I knew that loving others was a virtue but loving "me" sounded like a selfish or proud man's bane.  And, I knew that I was flawed in ways that we surely want to keep to ourselves if we expect to be accepted by others.

Yes, I accepted that I'm fully loved by God and can love me too.  Quiet meditation after my "normal" prayers, with my thinker in the back seat, is a time where actually being loved can be realized.

People will find true freedom within the only church in town.  They'll grow to love themselves and their neighbors too.  Scripture says we're made in the image of God and that God loves us so much that His Son redeems the full sin burden for those who are His.   With our sins covered by the blood of Christ, we're empowered to walk humbly and vicariously with God - loved.  Might that be part of the good life that continues on into eternity?

I ain't never going back to that old, commiserating, crappy, selfish life where people wallow in their sin, polish their medals, compare themselves to others, and "try" to please those who couldn't care less.  I will to keep my eyes less on me and more on others.  I want to be in tune with what's really going on and experience being loved and loving too.

Just for today...

"I always expected my happiness to come through others, especially my . . .  parents.  I spent most of my life waiting for them to show their love and approval in a way that I could understand.  They didn't, and I felt deprived and unlovable as a result. . . The only person wo can love me the way I want to be loved is me."   Courage to Change (p. 107)