The story...
For about a year, I invested in people who lived in an independent care facility - the workers, the residents, and visitors too. A person, whom I loved, lived there. The atmosphere was welcoming and initial interactions were good. Even so, I'm not sure if they truly wanted me to intervene within their lives - to love and be loved.
One day, I planned to leave my home at 10:45 AM to spend about 1.5 hours there. It was just a plan so I wasn't sure that I'd follow through. There seem to be forces that seemingly inhibit, or resist, my good intentions. Who knows the sources of our fears; even so, I brainstormed a list of what they might be. They're ranked according to my perceived likelihood that they'd deter my visit. It's strange to acknowledge that these fears may hold me back from working out a doable and loving activity that certainly fits within my "constitution."
- End-of-life situations experienced
- Perceived rejection
- Time invested that could or should've spent elsewhere
- Periods of time not knowing what to do - abiding
- Frequent thoughts of escape - "get out of there"
- Trying to be a "good boy" - a "brag" story
- Strange interactions with limited ability to communicate
- Uncomfortable smells and sounds
Just for today...
"I've lost many, many hours waiting to solve a problem or be freed of a character defect. Today I am learning to make room in my life for the wonders that life has to offer." Courage to Change (p. 294)
"Fear is a feeling, not an action. Courage is not the absence of fear. It's choosing to act with love in spite of fear." Hope for Today (p. 294)
"Like me; Like Him - I change; He's true."
"He indwells; Abiding power - Sin blocks; Agree'n restores."
"Veil lowered; See Him be - Actually loved; Calmed sea." Am I a Poet?