October 20th - Loving in spite of fear

The story...

For about a year, I invested in people who lived in an independent care facility - the workers, the residents, and visitors too.   A person, whom I loved, lived there.  The atmosphere was welcoming and initial interactions were good.   Even so, I'm not sure if they truly wanted me to intervene within their lives - to love and be loved.

One day, I planned to leave my home at 10:45 AM to spend about 1.5 hours there.  It was just a plan so I wasn't sure that I'd follow through.  There seem to be forces that seemingly inhibit, or resist, my good intentions.  Who knows the sources of our fears; even so, I brainstormed a list of what they might be.  They're ranked according to my perceived likelihood that they'd deter my visit.  It's strange to acknowledge that these fears may hold me back from working out a doable and loving activity that certainly fits within my "constitution."

• End-of-life situations experienced
• Perceived rejection
• Time invested that could or should've spent elsewhere
• Periods of time not knowing what to do - abiding
• Frequent thoughts of escape - "get out of there"
• Trying to be a "good boy" - a "brag" story
• Strange interactions with limited ability to communicate
• Uncomfortable smells and sounds

Secure hearts and loving inertia will motivate loving actions within the only church in-town.  They'll truly be witnessed and experienced within and outside community.  There'll be a sort of supernatural sense of being, or condition, for the loved who are abiding in Christ - inoculated with love.

Just for today...

"I've lost many, many hours waiting to solve a problem or be freed of a character defect. Today I am learning to make room in my life for the wonders that life has to offer."  Courage to Change (p. 294)

"Fear is a feeling, not an action. Courage is not the absence of fear. It's choosing to act with love in spite of fear."  Hope for Today (p. 294)

"Like me; Like Him - I change; He's true."
"He indwells; Abiding power - Sin blocks; Agree'n restores."
"Veil lowered; See Him be - Actually loved; Calmed sea."     Am I a Poet?

October 16th - Am I worthy of love and tenderness?

The story...

A friend of mind mocked what I was doing one day - they alluded to my way of living as kind of trivial or unimportant.  Maybe they were: comparing their life to mine, wanting something more from me, or acting out a habit of putting me in my place so that they might feel okayer.  I needed friendship-love; but, I was hit with chisels and sandpaper - biting, rough, dusty, and uncomfortable.

What do I do about it?  Do I let them know how being marginalized feels?  Do I treat them similarly?  Do I set up new boundaries to prevent future corrosion and hurt?  Or, do I first treat me with the love, respect and tenderness that I don't often receive from others?   I'd rather actually be okay, in the light of day, with who I truly am - know and value me.

I hope that everybody attending the only church in town will feel okay, loved, and supported within the Body of Christ. Why?  The group is gifted with what we need.  If your mom wasn't gifted to be nurturing, you'll fill find nurturing mom's who are empowered and freer to love.  Your mom will be free to exercise and give her gifts too. 

We're okay when we trust what the Son of God did on our behalf.  Our self-willed attempts to be good and accepted by others are powerless.  He's risen from the dead and seated at the right-hand of God making intercession for those who trust in Him and His GREAT work.  He says that belief/trust/faith in the atoning work of the Lamb of God positions us with Him.  I'm safe, sound, and empowered in Christ.

Just for today...

"When I treat myself with love and tenderness, I am better able to deal with the challenges that life presents. I have a chance to feel good, even surrounded by crisis."  Courage to Change (p. 290)

"Your reflection; Ain't from me - Your prodigy; Won't be."
"Mold and shape; To no avail - "Helping" ideas; Truly assail."
"Try to act ; Can I be? - Christ saved ; Truly me."     Am I a Poet?

October 5th - Do Eeyores have to be Eeyores?

The story...

We've seen others isolate themselves after extended periods of rejection - not receiving the love they needed - they seem to've given up.  They may appear as an Eeyore or not appear at all.

Maybe they looked for love in all the wrong places.  Or, maybe they expected that all their love needs should've been met by their parents or that illusive life-long partner.

Looking for love in all the wrong places.

I hope that the only church in town will be the community where they engage in life - experiencing the giving and receiving of love.  What will be that source of strength and love?   They'll have the book that offers really "good news."  They might just learn about, and hopefully experience, "The" source within the only church in town.  "Ain't that good news . . . man ain't that news."

Just for today...

"I did choose to give my younger brother things I wanted myself in order to win his love. I did decide to shut off my feelings from my family . . . I had to look at why I chose to become involved with unavailable people . . . My choices reflect my opinion of a relationship with myself."  Hope for Today (p. 278)

"I have a choice about where to focus my attention. I'm challenged to find positive qualities in myself, my circumstances, and other human beings . . . It may be difficult to break a long-established pattern of depression, doom-sayings, and complaining, but it's worth the effort."  Courage to Change (p. 278)

"Looked for good; In the crowd - Found egos; Wounded proud."
"Met Christ ones; Livin new - Knowing God?; Truly true."    Am I a Poet?

October 1st - Do you know what I want or need?

The story...

"Oooooh  If she knew what she wants

(He'd be giving it to her)  If she knew what she needs

(He could give her that too)  If she knew what she wants

(But he can't see through her)  If she knew what she wants

He'd be giving it to her  Giving it to her

But she wants everything  (He can pretend to give her everything)

Or there's nothing she wants  (She don't want to sort it out)

He's crazy for this girl  (But she don't know what she's looking for)

If she knew what she wants  He'd be giving it to her

Giving it to her  I'd say her values are corrupted

But she's open to change  Then one day she's satisfied

And the next I'll find her crying  And it's nothing she can explain

If she knew what she wants  (He'd be giving it to her)

If she knew what she needs  (He could give her that too)

If she knew what she wants  (But he can't see through her)

If she knew what she wants  He'd be giving it to her

Giving it to her (giving it to her)  Some have a style

That they work hard to refine  So they walk a crooked line

But she won't understand  Why anyone would have to try

To walk a line when they could fly  No sense thinking I could rehabilitate her

When she's fine, fine, fine  She's got so many ideas traveling around in her head

She doesn't need nothing from mine  If she knew what she wants

(He'd be giving it to her)  If she knew what she needs

(He could give her that too)  If she knew what she wants

(But he can't see through her)  If she knew what she wants

He'd be giving it to her  Giving it to her

But she wants everything  (He can pretend to give her everything)

Or there's nothing she wants  (She don't want to sort it out)

He's crazy for this girl  (But she don't know what she's looking for)

If she knew what she wants  He'd be giving it to her

Giving it to her  (He'd be giving it to her)

(He could give her that too)  (But he can't see through her)

Ooooooh  Giving it to her  Giving it to her now."

Susanna Hoffs and the Bangles: "If she knew what she wants."

We'll find people within the only church in town who're trusting God to meet essential needs and to bless too.  We too might trust God and bear real fruit - the kind of stuff we all need.  For now, I desire His Will and want to be okay in Christ - praise God.

Just for today...

"When we bring things out into the light, they lose their power over us."  Courage to Change (p. 275)

"Few of us know what we really want, and none of us knows what is best for us. That knowledge remains, in spite of all our determined resistance, in the hands of God."  Hope for Today (p. 275)

"... when we are strong we are always much greater than the things that happen to us, and the soul of a man who has found himself is like a deep sea in which there may be many fish: but they never come up out of the sea, and not one of them is big enough to trouble its placid surface. His "being" is far greater than anything he feels or does."   Thomas Merton, No Man Is an Island (p. 125)

"He enters; Life leaps - In Christ; For keeps."   Am I a Poet?

September 14th - Painful life lessons - pearls or thorns?

The story...

"You're going to have foot surgery on both of your feet?  That's great, you'll be in a wheelchair and bring light on all the handicap access limitations within our facilities.  Why not do the wheelchair option and indirectly help others along the way?"   I accepted the surgery one foot at a time - traded the concept of a wheelchair with the reality of crutches.  My struggles with crutches did require receiving help, possibly love too, from others; but, I didn't expose the handicap limitations some hoped for.

I remember standing in the snow, on my crutches, trying to work the entry card reader.  My bag dangled from my shoulder as I attempted to open the door - I couldn't do it.   I waited for another early bird to arrive and open it for me.  I needed help.  The experience was real good for me - it taught me to be both less self reliant and to receive kindness along the way.  I moved from mostly independent to more interdependent.  The suffering was good and I was "lucky" enough to repeat the process twice.

So, the painful experience was actually like a valuable pearl to me.  So, why do I maneuver to avoid suffering today?  We know why.   Even so, I will to remain thankful in all circumstances and be thankful for God's provision for today, tomorrow, and for all eternity too.

Those who choose to be a member of the only church in town will recognize the value of working out their life trusting in God's provision.  They'll enjoy loving relationships with others along the way too.  Yes, they'll receive His love while abiding with Him in Christ - "abba" father!

Just for today...

"The lessons were too painful - I would get excited about something, only to have my hopes shattered. As time passed and hope diminished, I fell deeper into despair. Eventually I shut down my feelings and refused to care or to hope for anything at all . . . It is risky to care - I may be disappointed. But in trying to protect myself from pain, I could cut  myself off from the many delights that life has to offer. I will live more fully today."   Courage to Change (p. 258)

"Christ the Vine; His branch out - Suffering trims, Fruit born anew."   Am I a Poet?

August 23rd - Wait . . . there is something wrong with them . . . they might need help?

The story...

Along with other retired people, I sometimes drive around town on weekdays between 10am and 11am.  Some days, I forget and become frustrated with slow and unexpected driving maneuvers.  The feelings drive me to say, in my mind, something like: "Is there something wrong with you?"  Strangely, that's the first part of a better more heartfelt question:  "Is there something wrong with you, and how might I help and love on ya neighbor?"

We know that everybody has strengths and weaknesses.  Even the most saintly servant of God has a sin nature that motivates them to make sub-optimal, self-satisfying, decisions and maneuvers.  Some aren't capable or ready to do better and they need our help.

The only church in town will honestly preach the reality of our life in Christ - right and safe with God in Christ.  Lasting peace and purpose will be found there amidst life's circumstances.  They need you there and you might just be loved there too.

A good friend suffered here alone; yet, he wasn't alone.

Just for today...

"I developed a tremendous fear of making mistakes. It seemed crucial to cover every possible outcome, because mistakes often led to an avalanche of accusations and abuse from . . . and eventually from myself . . . When I stop struggling to be perfect and admit when I am wrong, I can let go of my guilt and shame."  Courage to Change (p. 236)

"What if that?; They'll surely say... - I'll be hurt; Please stay away."
"Won't make errors; Don't be bad! - Pretending helps; Often sad."
"Okay in Christ; Hearts a'lift - God's got this; Even if!"    Am I a Poet?

August 22nd - Live an honest, hopeful, joyful, and peaceful life?

The story...

What a joy to spend a couple of hours with a good friend sharing life together - the time investment always seem fruitful.  Good friends share common: stories, reference points, sense of safety, and knowledge that the other has their better interest at heart.  They're fellow sojourners who're truly willing and able to understand and grow together.  I'm so thankful for my good friends... 

It seems that all of my most probing meaning-of-life discussions have drilled down to a most important directive that God has revealed:  "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and strength.  And, love your neighbor as yourself."  So, why not just go out and love God, love yourself, and, from these strengths and power, love your neighbors too?  Well, it's because it's not within our constitution, will, and power do so.  Yet people try hard to be a better version of themselves and even fund a never-ending series of self-help books to help them try.  Self-improvement efforts likely end up trying to bend reality to suit our will with us acting as a sort of pathetic little "god."  A little god may imagine their attributes to be far greater than they are and find pleasure in thinking that all others want to be more like them.  They often spew out "advice" and direction as to how others might be reworked into their own self-image of perfection.  UGH...

So, how might we take the first step of loving God when our sin is abhorrent to, and incompatible with, a relationship with Him?  We might will an imaginary idea of God who is compatible with our life code and experiences; yet, there's no real power in that.  We could listen to the good news, the gospel, that God has done all the work of removing our relationship sin barrier through His own great work in Christ.  Simply trust in God's great work and walk through life in His light of truth where reality and sin are illuminated for what they are.  Why not walk the path of living a more honest, humble, hopeful, joyful, and peaceful life in Christ?  Romans 15:13  Not following the path by doubting the possibility is _ _ _ _ _ _!

The good news of the gospel would be the common theme of every meeting within the only church in town.  People would hear the good news and the life testimonies of real people.  Close friends will likely be found there too - those whom you are capable of walking side-by-side won your common journey to the celestial city.  I hope that you'll join me in praising God in Christ and resting in thankfulness, peace, and the power of God almighty.  

Why not "listen" to Paul's letter to the people in Colossae called Colossians where He explains our condition in Christ and how to be - takes about 15 minutes.  There's great value in "listening" to the full letter to better understand the full intended message.

Just for today...

"Yet what do I do with the thorns of resentment and hatred when they pierce my thoughts? Do I leave them there and watch them grow, while I suffer increasingly from the pain?"  One Day at a Time (p. 235)

"I wanted to know how to become an adult with sound values, self-respect, and self-esteem. I sought this lesson from everybody - my parents, employers, spouses, children, friends etc.  - everybody but God and myself . . . I had to stop sabotaging myself by looking on the outside for something that exists only within."   Hope for Today (p. 235)

"He loved me; Loved Him too - He's in me; Wants you too."      Am I a Poet?

August 2nd - Active Verbs for Living a Good Life?

The story...

Assuming we've an idea as to what a "good life" is; then, how do we live it out?  What active verbs might best describe how to "learn to live?"  My brainstorming exercise resulted in the following twenty-four active verbs: Abide, Ask, Be, Blog, Build, Encourage, Enjoy, Forgive, Imagine, Invest, Leave, Listen, Love, Plant, Pray, Read, Receive, Sense, Sing, Stretch, Thank, Trust, Wail, and Water.  It took awhile to build a longer list and then reduce it down to 24 - my favorite number.  Yes, living can be overwhelmingly complex or as simple as...

Somebody asked me to volunteer to help out with a youth mentoring organization in July 2023.   A good friend of mind encouraged me to say yes.  I entered too much information on the application and met with the program director.  Their mission is to mentor at-risk kids to increase the likelihood of them living a good life.  It's a worthy mission, I'm available, it seems like it'd be part of a good life, so I said yes.  Is my decision part of  God's Will?  Yes, saying yes was a reasonable and good response - good life building results seem likely.

People will have opportunities, within the only church in town, to engage in a life that's bigger than self.  Yes, there'll be opportunities to exercise all twenty-four active verbs.  God's Will is certainly worked out beyond the boundaries of the church so I expect that our opportunities to apply these active verbs are endless.

Just for today...

"When my thoughts are centered on learning to live, I will be less tempted to involve my mind with the thoughts of how others live."  One Day at a Time (p. 215)

"Unconsciously mindful; Spirits intercedes - Life in balance; Our Creator cares."   Am I a Poet?

July 29th - Live a peaceful or exciting life?

The story...

People in their 60's often tell me about the exciting things they want to do with their free time that wasn't available within the last few stages of life.  Attention to their duties of life prevented them from living the "good life" that they expect to experience with that RV, second house, doting on grand children, extended vacations, bigger barn, hobby, tower building, financial investments, physical endurance feats, novel writing, life trophy...  Now, they're "free" to live the good life - self actualizing.

Why was this "good life" not available to them during the bulk of their more productive and capable years?  I expect that this question is worthy of self reflection - getting to the root cause(s).

Some people seem to resent my vision of the "good life" - living a peaceful life humbly walking with God in the present - enjoying interactions with people, creation, and His presence.  Practicing loving the Lord my God with all my heart, mind and soul and my neighbor as myself.  That seems like a worthy overarching goal - a North Star.

I hope that people in the only church in town would be free to be honest with themselves and the reality of what God's revealed for us.  His Word says He desires to enjoy those whose hearts are His and that we can enjoy walking humbly with Him too in the midst of all life circumstances.  The pull of the actualities of people's lives into "the world" will continually challenge truths revealed in God's Word.  Yet, they'll witness the effects of "That Than Which There is No Greater."  Why not trust God and be thankful?

Just for today...

"Quiet can be achieved with complete silence, but if the silence has in it even a trace of anger or hostility, it loses all its power . . . Most angry words have no basis in logic or reason anyway, so why need they hurt me?"  One Day at a Time (p. 211)

"Peacefully quiet; Thoughts emerge - God receives; He restores."
"He gives; Spirit indwells - Purposely arise; I'm His."    Am I a Poet?

July 21st - Does a birdfeeder help or hurt the birds?

The story...

I've enjoyed feeding birds over the last few years.  Surely, they don't need seed in May but seem to appreciate it the rest of the year.  We can sense the community of nature around our house and feeders.  The squirrels, turkey and deer search the area for fallen seed.  More birds seem to live and nest in the area. Our chunk of the woods seems more alive and vibrant.  The sound of song birds contribute to a sense of peacefulness.

The bird feeding naysayers say that the bird population might rise artificially to an unsustainable level, or it's a waste of time and money, or they may catch diseases from their close proximity to each other, or the woodpeckers will tear our house up, or we'll stop feeding them and upset the ecosystem.  The costs of living in a bird community are too high - the birds must live independently in order to survive.

Turkeys, squirrel, & deer must wish they'd get at the source of that seed.

The only church in town will be kind of like my bird feeder.  People congregate and feed off good together.  The people are different and don't always get along yet they need each other.  It certainly is a place to spread summer colds.  The quality of the food delivery can vary and some will say "idealistically" it should be different.  Yet, the source is available to them - truth from the Word God.

As for me and my house, we plan on continuing to enjoy feeding the birds and feeding our hearts, minds, souls, and spirits along with our fellow sojourners within the Body of Christ - the church.

Just for today...

"At best my family had poor communication or none at all. It seemed no one was available to help me. In fact, I usually was the recipient of criticisms and complaints. Instead of feeling united with my family, I felt isolated and alone."  Hope for Today (p. 203)

"When I let go of a situation, I allow life to unfold according to that plan. I open my mind and let other ways of thinking or behaving enter in. When I let go of another person, I am affirming their right to live their own life, to make their own choices, and to grow as they experience the results of their actions."  Courage to Change (p.203)

"There's no wren; Song's lost - Quit feeding 'em; Worth the cost?"   Am I a Poet?

July 19th - Why didn't you just ask?

The story...

I ran quickly ran down the stairs on Christmas morning and saw it.  There it was!   It was blue, my favorite color, shiny, tall and a 5-speed.  My parents bought me a man-sized bike for Christmas!  I don't remember begging for it - I might've.  Maybe my mother felt my need when she saw that other kids had full-sized bikes and that I was still riding the hand-me-down bike.  Maybe they felt obligated to give it to me because they did the same for my older siblings.  It was a real need and it was met well.  It might've been part of the reason that I accepted a paper route that I kept for four years.  That paper route helped shape me into a better, more capable, person.  The paper route prepared me to accept my job as the drug-store delivery boy.  And the drug-story delivery boy job prepared me for...  Yes, that bike was a need that was worth asking for.

Mine wasn't a Schwinn but it did have a rack on the back.

I wanted so many things that I didn't ask for.  Why?  Maybe, I didn't' think that people would want to give them to me.  Or, I was comfortable with the way things were even though they weren't great.  Maybe, I developed coping skills that told me that I was better off than others and I didn't need anything.  Or, I didn't know if I was capable of using the thing if I got it.  Maybe, if I got it, I might lose it someday. Or, maybe I simply feared rejection.  Maybe, I wanted to be loved above all other things and the "no" answer would move the possibility of being loved even further away...

The only church in town would be a safe place where your need for love might best be understood and at least partially fulfilled.   Yes, our ultimate need is to love the Lord our God with all our heart, mind and strength.  And, to love our neighbor as ourself.  That kind of stuff sounds worth asking for.

Just for today...

"If I want or need something, I have to let someone know.  I need to ask, which means taking risks.  Maybe my request will be granted; maybe it won't.  If it is, great. If it isn't, I'll still feel better for having asked, and then I can move on to someone else who might be able to help me."  Hope for Today (p. 201)

"Walls are solid and rigid; they keep others out, and they keep me trapped inside.  Boundaries are flexible, changeable, removable, so it's up to me how open or closed I'll be at any given time.  They let me me decide what behavior is acceptable, not only from others but from myself."  Courage to Change (p. 201)

"Maybe I'll ask; What'll happen? - Don't know; Let's find out."   Am I a Poet?

July 16th - EGO maintenance or replacement?

The story...

A Human Resources representative delivered a 360 degree performance evaluation to me and summarized the feedback that she received with one phrase: "It's all about you."  I appreciated the honest feedback yet it stung.  Sure I talk about me and what I'm interested in most.  Who else's ideas could I share?  Okay, I didn't know the names of my work-group's family members - why is that a problem?  I'm a story teller, who else's stories can I tell?  The feedback was valuable and I never forgot it.  It took effort and courage to develop and deliver that feedback to me - I'm extremely grateful that she succinctly delivered the feedback in a manner that I actually accepted.  My self awareness grew much that day.

So, my ego is that part of my conscience mind which I consider myself.  It's who I'm referring to when I use the word "I."  Is it a worthy endeavor to better understand and value my ego?  When does self-awareness and development turn that nasty corner toward narcissism?   Am, I lovable as I am?  Can I love me without being consumed by self-love and falling into loneliness and despair?  What's a healthy level of self-esteem?

My favorite verse of the bible is a wish that the Apostle Paul sends to a congregation of people in Rome whom he'd never met.  I wish the same thing for me and for you too.  

"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."  Romans 15:13 NASB

The "egos" who walk into the only church in town would find what they're looking for in a right relationship with God and His community.  There they hear about a more healthy ego that enables a person to live a more satisfying, joyful, peaceful, and fruitful life.  Hopefully they'll witness, meet, and walk with people who're trusting in God.

Why is it so hard for a man to bend his knee and trust in God and His provision for the "good" life?  Why is faith in God and His Word soo... elusive for most people?  The self seems to rebel against this threat to it's supreme authority and preeminence.  It's almost like our old self is trying to save itself from being transformed from that caterpillar to the butterfly.

Just for today...

"Maturity is the capacity to withstand ego-destroying experiences, and not lose one's perspective in the ego-building experiences."  Robert K. Greenleaf

“Despair is the absolute extreme of self-love. It is reached when a person deliberately turns his back on all help from anyone else in order to taste the rotten luxury of knowing himself to be lost.”  Thomas Merton

"Creature adrift; Creator let go - Proudly alone; Mirror says so."
 "Ray of light; Life's release - Trusting Christ; All joy and peace." Am I a Poet?

July 4th - Will somebody sit next to me?

The story...

I sat next to a woman on a train to Milwaukee one day.  Unexpectedly, we shared much of the important parts of our lives.  Kristen let me know that she had her eye removed with hopes of eradicating the cancer in her body; yet, she recently discovered that the cancer traveled to her liver.  There was no known cure for that type of cancer.  She participated in a sort of holistic program to extend her life with the hope that a new, yet unknown solution, might materialize.

She was a positive person with much support in her life.   We discussed living in 3-month intervals; the pros and cons of hoping for a miracle; difficulties related to thinking about future plans; and the important parts of life that might make a difference into eternity.  I think that we encouraged each other and were both better off for having met and listened to each other with open hearts.  I'm glad that I chose to sit next to her.  I wrote a prayer card and placed it in my prayer box.  I hope that she lives a long fruitful life yet I'll probably never know - we shared only our first names.  I wish now we would have traded e-mail addresses.

The only church in town would likely be a place where congregates might expect conversations regarding life's challenges and eternal realities with open, honest, and humble God-trusting people.  Human wisdom and hope have limited value when interment is in view.

Just for today...

• Value each person we meet - it's a miracle that each of us is alive.
• Be open to God's leading and resist temptations to be your own little god.
• Seek to understand them - you might open an opportunity to both give and receive love.

"Body of Christ; Here today - Community built; His Way."   Am I a Poet?

June 13th - Love 'em Just the Way They Are or Control 'em?

The story...

As a boy, I learned to conform to the norms of the family, friends, classroom and church.  When I was rejected by the teacher, peer groups, family members, or "that girl;" then I'd adapt, roll with the punches, and even craft my own role to "act" out.  As an adolescent, I often rebelled against the system.

I played the cornet in the band throughout middle school and high school.  This was the group that I best identified with.  However, I "pushed back" against the control that was exercised by the band director.  I refused to participate in any performance challenges during my Junior year.  I merely picked up my horn case and moved down to the lower seat.  I witnessed this behavior from the best trumpet player - I joined him and carried it on.  The director solved the problem by putting us in a trumpet section - we actually played more of the melody together.  

Controlling to the Extreme

The band director asked that I record my practice hours on a card during my senior year.  He let me know that it was for my benefit and did not require a parent signature.  I took it home and entered two weeks of zeros.  I asked my mom and dad to both sign the practice card - they did.  The band director looked at the signed practice sheet and said: "It appears that this isn't going to work with you."

I worked as a drug-store delivery boy and was assigned to work a Friday evening that required I miss the football game.  The director wouldn't accept my excuse and told me that he better see me in the band formation prior to the game.  I went to work anyway and drove the delivery car through the band formation while waving at the director.  I earned a "D" in band my senior year.

During my Senior year of college I brought two of my friends to my home town and actually took them on a tour of my High School.  The band director saw me as I was making moves to avoid him.  I was shocked at how respectfully he treated me and my friends.  I'm so thankful for that man and how he worked to shape that rebellious spirit in me. He wasn't the last person to reach out with help.

The people in the only church in town will be wonderfully created to be their best as a group.  Strangely, people are drawn to adapt their behavior, or role play, in order to fit the group's expectations of who they "should" be.  Hopefully, the only church in town would love 'em as they are and offer them a path to grow their faith in their own way and at their own pace.  I'm so thankful that the Patriarchs of the bible were often rebels who God loved and redeemed.

Just for today...

"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image.  Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them."  Thomas Merton:  No Man is an Island.

"That's not right; I can see - My way's better; They need me."
"Show'em how; Tell'em again - Prickly thorn; Feel the sin."    Am I a Poet? 

June 10th - My mentor is gone...

 The story...

Dr. Charles Stanley died on April 19th, 2023 at 90 years of age.  I loved my own father yet Charles Stanley served me as a sort of spiritual father for more than 40 years.  I was crushed when a best friend shared the news with me - I grieved for about three hours.  The sense of loss lingered - I no longer had my mentor.  Surely I had other mentors but they're gone too.  I've strong friendships but they're not mentors.  Maybe my mentors needed to go away for me to more fully trust in God - to work out the life of faith that I've been gifted with - to be a mentor.

I'm so... thankful that his ministry continues on YouTube.  Strangely, his radio channel, and selected messages, continue to be meaningful to me.  Maybe it's because I imagine him being with, and in, Christ at the right hand of God.  That's my aim too.

The only church in town will minister to people in each season of life.  Loving, learning, worshipping, praying, restoring, suffering, remembering, experiencing, praising, serving, mentoring, and saying goodbyes too.  Hopefully, no person will be left behind.

Just for today...

"I didn't get many of the things that I needed to thrive emotionally and spiritually.  Things like consistency, structure, encouragement, and acceptance of my feelings were missing . . . Caring for myself first is part of caring for others."  Hope for Today (p. 162)

"Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they're yours."  Richard Bach

"Want the same; Solid and normal - Changing fast; Hold me mom."
"They're better; Made mistakes - Growing strangely; Guide me dad."     Am I a Poet?

June 2nd - Feelings of Unfairness "Morphed" into Thankfulness?

The story...

I'm sitting at my table trying to think of an example of when I was treated unfairly.  I can think of many without one good example.  Maybe it's because thankfulness has pushed out the space where I stored resentments?  I hope so.

I'm so thankful today.  Pain and suffering are sure to come yet my hopes for the future are positive.  I look forward to continual growth and am thankful for life.  Yes, I'm thankful for that last full breath of air as it entered my lungs as cool air and left as a warm exhale.

The bread of life...

The people within the only church in town would be thankful and generally okay - The grace of God witnessed in action through people with skin on them.  They'd be more capable of loving God, themselves, and other people too.  Unfairness would meet up with grace - grace would win.

Just for today...

"No amount of self-discipline can heal us from resentment.  Sometimes it seems the more we struggle against it, the more it sneaks up on us, surging like a dark sickness into the mind, plunging our emotions into turmoil."  One Day at a Time (p. 154)

"Ignore me; Push away - Stay silent; Nothing to say."   Am I a Poet?

May 30th - Does it Seem Wrong to Be Kind to Yourself?

The story...

Are there good guys and bad guys in life?  Or, are we all under the curse of sin and death - bad guys?

I recently met a really good person who remembers only a few times when she rebelled against authority and acted out badly.  She seems compliant and appears to genuinely care for and love other people.  I've met other people who seem rebellious by nature and challenge most direction and attempts to control them - started as a baby and never stopped.  Personally, I tend to fall on the rebellious side of the continuum. 

On May 7, 1931, the most sensational manhunt New York City had ever known had come to its climax.

After weeks of search, "Two Gun" Crowley - the killer, the gunman who didn't smoke or drink - was at bay, trapped in his sweetheart's apartment on West End Avenue. One hundred and fifty policemen and detectives laid siege to his top floor hideaway. They chopped holes in the roof; they tried to smoke out Crowley, the "cop killer," with teargas. Then they mounted their machine guns on surrounding buildings, and for more than an hour one of New York's fine residential areas reverberated with the crack of pistol fire and the rut-tat-tat of machine guns. Crowley, crouching behind an over-stuffed chair, fired incessantly at the police. Ten thousand excited people watched the battle. Nothing like it ever been seen before on the sidewalks of New York.

When Crowley was captured, Police Commissioner E. P. Mulrooney declared that the two-gun desperado was one of the most dangerous criminals ever encountered in the history of New York.

"He will kill," said the Commissioner, "at the drop of a feather." But how did "Two Gun" Crowley regard himself? We know, because while the police were firing into his apartment, he wrote a letter addressed "To whom it may concern, " And, as he wrote, the blood flowing from his wounds left a crimson trail on the paper. In this letter Crowley said: "Under my coat is a weary heart, but a kind one - one that would do nobody any harm."

A short time before this, Crowley had been having a necking party with his girl friend on a country road out on Long Island. Suddenly a policeman walked up to the car and said: "Let me see your license." Without saying a word, Crowley drew his gun and cut the policeman down with a shower of lead. As the dying officer fell, Crowley leaped out of the car, grabbed the officer's revolver, and fired another bullet into the prostrate body. And that was the killer who said: "Under my coat is a weary heart, but a kind one - one that would do nobody any harm. '

 How to Win Friends And Influence People, Dale Carnegie

Scripture says that all men and women are unholy and separated from our Holy Creator by our selfish nature, our iniquity, and the sin that oozes out.   We'd all remain separate from God, during this life and throughout eternity, unless God redeemed and reconciled us.  Humans can enter their most important relationship with Him solely based on being identified with Christ and the atoning work He performed through His shed blood and resurrection.  He did the heavy lifting and died for our sin - He paid our debt.  Yes, we can be holy in the site of God in Christ.

Should I beat myself up for not being consistently good?  No.  I can walk each day loving God and my neighbor as myself based on the great work that God's done on my behalf and His presence in my life.  Wow, I can truly rest in the goodness of God.  I can be kind to myself just as I am - praise God.

How would the only church in town accept a rebellious man within their congregation?  I expect that they'd start with acknowledging that they're all somewhere on the rebellion-compliance continuum and that they all need the gift of God's grace daily.

Just for today...

"If I am hard on myself, I can stop and remember that I deserve gentleness and understanding from myself.  Being human is not a character defect!  Today I will be gentle with my humanness."  Courage to Change (p. 151)

"I gotta itch; Wanna give in - He offers peace; Fruit-less sin."
"Kindness is best; Comfortable with me - He's the power; Prayerfyly see."   Am I a Poet?

May 20th - The Marriage Contract

The story...

I'm so thankful for my life partner - she said yes 💖.  The marriage contract is a wonderful thing - to love each other, just as we are and will be, till death do we part.  She teaches me to love a bit more each day - I'm so thankful for her...

A marriage contract might work out otherwise.  Meat Loaf sang a wonderful duet "Paradise By The Dashboard Lights."  The protagonist is obsessively thinking and lusting over the girl.  She agrees with the caveat: "yes or no? . . . I gotta know right now . . . Will you make me happy the rest of my life? . . . Will you love me forever?"  He swears on his mother's grave that he'll love her till the end of time - he signs the contract.  Then he prays for the end of time so he can end his time with her.  He'll never break his promise or end his vow.

His relationship didn't seem sustainable.  Love's veiled promise unfulfilled.  Yet, he doesn't break his promise - he suffers along.  What'll he find when he enters the doors of the only church in town?  Justification for divorce, new ways for coping, a diversion, or a new method for changing her?

Within the only church in town, he'd learn about the potential death of his old nature - co-crucified and risen with the Son of God.  He can be free from the tyrannical rule of self -  a new man by the Power of God - yet the contract remains.  Rather than trying to convince her to change, she witnesses the power of God's transformation and may allow God to perform a great work within her heart too.  God does the heavy lifting - there's nothing we can do but trust Him and watch Him work - wow...

Wouldn't that be a great ending stanza to that song?  I don't think so - the song's too good the way it is.  Do you have a favorite song of transformation?  

Just for today...

"Before obsessive thinking takes hold, there is usually a point at which I have to make a choice.  I can opt to mentally toy with a subject that has held my mind hostage in the past or..."  Courage to Change (p. 121)

"Serenity is not abut the end of pain.  It's about my ability to flourish peacefully no matter what life brings my way."  Hope for Today (p. 141)

Lust, forgetful of future suffering, hurries us along the forbidden path."  Claudius Claudianus

"Momma loved me; Flawed but true - Soulmate wanted; Had no clue."
"Disillusion-ally sad; Drew within - God took me; Redeemed my sin."    Am I a Poet?

May 2nd - Do it Myself Curse

The story...

My dad grew up as the oldest of eight kids during the depression.  Their family didn't have much - they cared for each other.  Once he described, with a tear in his eye, what it was like for the last of the salted pork to be used up in late winter - "who wants to ask their neighbors for food?"  I remember him quoting his mother: "don't buy what you don't need, you might lose it someday."

I admired my dad's resourcefulness - he could do it himself.  So, my brother and I also did it ourselves - the principle was passed on even though we don't need to worry about running out of food this winter.  

Working out the "do it yourself" principle can seem like a curse when: you spend more money; your repair's less reliable; you lose valuable time; you don't allow others to help you; you fret over how you'll fix it without help; or you're overburdened with tools, materials, and spare parts.

"I might need that someday."

I'd rather be more self aware and realistic when: making purchase decisions; deciding when to ask for help; trusting others to do it for me, and assessing my true capabilities.  I want to be available to both give and receive help and love with others.  And, I want to focus my inner man on walking humbly with God in Christ in a more unencumbered way.   

The only church in town would invest their resources and time to both give and receive help and love among others.  In community, they'd walk humbly with God, in Christ, in an increasingly unencumbered way. 

Just for today...

"When I become willing to let go of the need to do it by myself, I can listen to others and receive direction from God."  Courage to Change (p. 123)

"Denial can be a shock absorber for the spirit. I can respect and be grateful for that survival mechanism, but I'll not hang onto it longer than necessary"  Hope for Today (p. 123)

"That side's His; This side's mine - Both eternal; Fence is fine."
"His's about Him; Mine's about me - You know you; Why hope for Him?"
"Why choose now; Enjoy yourself - Take care of you; You're mine."    Am I a Poet?

April 25th - 3rd Eye

The story...

A human resources guy's teaching me to be a better facilitator:  "If you're only looking through your own eyes then you're going to get a limited picture of what's really going on.  What would your third eye see from the top corner of the room?"  

What's really going on in the room?  We know it's impossible to truly know what's going on inside other people; yet, we can receive "tail tell" signs.  What would my third eye see?  The body language, nervous laughter, awkward silence, unexpected comments, beginnings of thoughts not fully expressed, inner-personal conflicts working their way out...  Efforts to redirect my eyes from my vantage to others helped me become a better facilitator.   

These awareness skills and habits take time to develop and maintain.  They get rusty and need the oil can.  Dorothy opens her eyes to her surroundings and discovers a person who she hadn't really noticed before - she finds out that he has "heart" issues.

People would be noticed, valued, and listened to within the only church in town.  People with a loving nature would reach out to better understand the heart issues of others - the things that really matter.  They'd love their neighbor as themselves.  They'd aspire to love others as Christ loved - the Spirit of God indwells those who are His.

Just for today...

"I am introspective when I turn my spiritual energy inward to observe my actions, character, motives, and reactions.  The ensuing awareness helps me see behavior patterns that hold me back from being the person I want to be."  Hope for Today (p. 116)

"I saw that; You meant this - We fell apart; Life lost."   Am I a Poet?