February 13th - But we don't have to go anymore...

The story...

I moved to Duluth, MN, for one year, on a teaching assignment - yes, I've been a teacher.  UMD welcomed me; the students asked me to join them in the stuff that students like to do; the church pulled me into their family; and I lived in a small apartment.  One morning, the apartment manager asked me where I was going on the past Sunday morning.  I told her that I was walking to church.  She said: "I thought so, I saw you were carrying a bible."  She was perplexed and a bit frustrated - "You're a professor, you don't have family here, and you're free to do whatever you want.  Why would you go to church?  We used to have to do that here; but, not anymore - I'm free to do whatever I want."  I shared how it felt to be pulled into a welcoming church family who invited me into their homes and families.  I even played "broom ball" and fished with some of them - "I feel loved there."  She says: "huh, I might try church again." 

I don't think that the only church in town would spend much time reminiscing about the "good old days" when everybody was expected to go to church and try to behave morally right.  Teach me against my will and I'll be of the same opinion still - and likely continue to behave in ways that are more true to who I truly am deep down inside.  

 

Where the story played

Just for today...

"I tried to get God to listen to me through my prayers.  He did, once I stopped telling Him what to do."  Hope for Today (p.44)

"I didn't like myself because I wasn't living up to what I believed to be true about others."  Courage to Change (p. 44)

"Get yer way, Stuck with you - Love together, Powerfully two."  Am I a Poet?

February 12th - My way or His way?

The story...

"What if there was a place you could go, where there was no TV and you could break bread - anyone who you are sitting with was family."  Peggy Olson - Mad Men (S7:E6)  People like Don Draper and Peggy Olson are looking for love - to belong.  They're acting out their role, trying to scratch that constant itch - they know something's wrong; but, they hide it deep down inside.  They yearn for that person who might truly know them while remaining guarded and habitually attempting to sooth that unrelenting itch...  Maybe if we found that one right person . . . then we could work out "happy ever after" like Bud and Sissy: "Looking for love in all the wrong places ..."

Do you want to do it your way or His way?  Why do I do what I don't want to do?  The only church in town has answers.  Yet, scripture says it takes a mighty work from the Spirit of Christ to change a man's heart - his inner man.  Can you believe that God's gospel truth can be found in that one short creed that Christian representatives agreed to in 325AD?  That creed is surprisingly awesome.

Just for today...

"Detachment allows us to let go of our obsession with another's behavior and begin to lead happier and more manageable lives, lives with dignity and rights, lives guided by a Power greater than ourselves."  Courage to Change (p. 43)

"I wanna be true, The man inside; Wanna be better, I choose different."  Am I a Poet?

February 8th - What's Love 💖 Got to Do with It?

The story...

Many people are uncomfortable with the message "I love you."  There's a lot "packed" into the word "love" and it can obviously be misunderstood.  What do they mean and how does the love message receiver respond?  Ideally, would we be able to say "I love you" to most of the people attending the only church in town?  What does that kind of love look and feel like?  What's the source?  Is it something you feel, a measure of the quality of the relationship, or an experienced gift of God?  Is it a verb (something that you do) or a noun (something that you can fall in and out of)?

Before I was born, C.S. Lewis wrote the book The Four Loves and presented it on a radio broadcast in 1958.  I've listened to this broadcast on my CD's many times.  He provided four helpful definitions of love, from four Greek words, used to describe that one English word - LOVE.   Four types of love in a nutshell: Storge is a normal kind of affection or familiarity that's missed when it's not present; Philia is like friendship; Eros is the romantic type of love reserved for the "couples" who are absorbed in each other; Agape is the unconditional type of love similar to the love God offers us through His Son.  

Courtesy of Dunkin' Donuts

Will we truly find "agape" love within the only church in town?  It requires vulnerability with the ever present risk of being hurt, rejected, or even wounded with a broken heart. Yes, the only church in town would be characterized as one where the members were free to express agape love.

Just for today...

"In the past I focused on anyone but myself . . . trying to control the disorder, discomfort, and lack of safety and security of my own childhood."  Hope for Today (p. 39).

"It is unrealistic to expect everyone to like me."  Courage to Change (p. 39)

"You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind."  "You shall love your neighbor as yourself."  Matthew 22:37 (NASB)

"Risked love, Heart broke - He lifted up, Formed Us anew."   Am I a Poet?

February 3rd - Living in the Present

 The story...

My peers were taller and seemed more coordinated.  I imagined and hoped for what I might look like when I grew up - then I'd fit in and be more loved and respected.  Tall, strong, riding a thundering-black motorcycle, playing the trumpet better than anyone else, and experiencing true love while being fully accepted by "her."

How might the one church in town have taught me to accept and love myself as I was - in the present?  Might they have helped me to discover who I was in realty - more independent and secure - rightly related and interdependent with others. 

Life clearly only occurs in the present; yet, I've spent too much time dreaming of the future and trying to make sense of the past.  How could the spiritual leaders and church community have facilitated my being pulled more into the present and God's revealed Word?  Were they able to share the actualities of their reality?   Is it possible that they tried but I couldn't hear?  Was my selfish nature so guarded and cemented that I was unable to grow until I experienced "X" years of life?

Just for today...

How do we accept our physical appearance?  If you love yourself as God loves you in Christ then you're free to accept yourself and others too - just the way you are. 🤔 Sounds a bit like Jane Eyre?

"I pray for the wisdom to understand my difficulties clearly and honestly, and for the strength to do something constructive about them.  I know that I can count on God's help in this."  One Day at a Time (p. 34)

"Idle away; What may've been - Depression formed; Waken my soul."

"See creation; Big and good - Sense His hand; Trust Who can."     Am I a Poet?

February 2nd - Hoping for Love

The story ...

I walked up to the door of my seventh-grade Sunday-school room.  The girl that I secretly loved was with a friend.  The friend asked me to show them my fingernails.  I paused before extending my open hand and fingers with my palm facing the linoleum floor.  They both broke out laughing - "you're like a girl!  Guys show their nails as a fist with palm up."  I was secretly crushed, likely tried to pretend I wasn't affected, yet my emotions must have betrayed my internal reality.  My secret search for love was publicly dashed.  I added a few plates to my personal armor to guard against that from happening again.  Oh... the pain of rejection - my wounded heart!

The church where the scene played out

How might the one church in town have helped?  My Sunday school teacher might have noticed a change in behavior.  Someone might have realized that I had no good friends at church.  As some aptly describe, I felt like I was alone on an island; yet, surrounded by people.  My parents forced me to go to some of the youth meetings - I didn't engage.  I became cynical and critical about the group that rejected me.  

In High School, I found a job that allowed me to miss every other Sunday service.  I tried to bring order and meaning into my life without God's help.  Was a right relationship with God and friends possible?

Thoughts for the day ...

"So I continued to hide and did not accept who I really was."  Hope for Today (p. 33)

"Today, being humble means climbing down from the ladder of judgement of myself and others, and taking my rightful place in a worldwide circle of love and support . . . My thoughts are my teachers.  Are they teaching me to love and appreciate others, or are they teaching me to practice isolation?"  Courage to Change (p. 33)

"Sought love; Illusive hope -  Hurt, guilty shame; Left me alone."  Am I a Poet?

January 31st - Daily Feet Washings

The story...

I've a hard time rubbing, let alone washing, my feet - I was born inflexible.  If I work at stretching for about six months, my "stretchability," is closer to normal.  Six months is six times longer than the one month it seems to take for my muscles to return back to their more normal state of inflexibility. 

Like many people, I was also born with a selfish sort of nature.  I cooperated with others while I focused on working out a safe and comfortable life that I was proud of.  Although I was primarily motivated by a need to be loved, I wanted to win in the game of life and associate with people who might help me along the way.  Since humans seem to all want the same "thing," I learned to be more flexible with my interpersonal interactions and relationships.

Strangely, even the Lord Jesus the Christ's disciples exhibited selfishness and pride as they argued about who was best at the last supper before Jesus was crucified (Luke 22:24).  Yes, we're prone to be selfish.  On the same night of the disciples argument, He knelt down and washed each of the twelve's feet.  When it was Peter's turn, he resisted this feet washing by his Lord.  Jesus replied "If I do not wash you, you have no part in Me" (John 13:8).  Maybe He's letting Peter know that he's clean yet needs to wash off the "dirt" of daily life to stay "clean" and rightly related to God through Him.  Jesus washed Peter's feet knowing, and sharing with Peter too, that Peter would publicly disown Him three times before the rooster crowed.  Yes, Peter would need his feet washed again.

Christ Washing the Disciples' Feet - Tintoretto 1548-1549

The only church in town will learn the need to live a righteous life in Christ.  One that's able to bear fruit in all circumstances - they way God worked out the perfect life in Jesus the Christ.  That means, for those with a nature like mine: confessing sin, washing dirt off my feet, and returning to that "right" relationship with our Holy Father through Christ.

Just for today...

"With a new and sincere humility, I asked God to remove my shortcomings . . . I want to be ready for shortcomings to be removed, and I will do what I can to prepare. I can develop a non-judgmental awareness of myself, accept what I discover, and be fully willing to change. But I lack the power to heal myself.  Only God can do that."  Courage to Change (p. 31)

"Washed feet; Dirty again - Self grime; Anxiously lonely."
"Had a friend; Split paths - Spirit stood me; Never went back."   Am I a poet?

January 20th - Do I unconsciously hurt myself?

The story...

I was driving home from work and saw a boy crash his bike rather badly on the sidewalk.  I felt a strong need to stop and help him but I didn't.  Strangely, my conscience stung and my inner-man hurt by not coming to the aide of another person who was hurting.  In what other ways might I be unconsciously hurting myself?  

When I obsessively think - I hurt myself.   When I neglect to tell another what's on my heart - I hurt myself.  When I'm so comfortable with what I already know, or believe, to the point of no longer being curious - I hurt myself.  When I ignore a person who looks my way - I hurt myself.  When I stay in my La-Z-Boy recliner instead of going and doing - I hurt myself.  When I don't listen to understand those who might help my physical or mental health - I hurt myself.  When I develop routines and a schedule that doesn't allow for me to care for others  - I hurt myself.  When I neglect relationships - I hurt myself.  When I ask for seconds on a food serving that'll likely contribute to poorer health - I hurt myself.  When I'm not thankful and content - I hurt myself.  When I don't love me or my neighbor - I hurt myself.  When I'm not quiet and listening within my relationship with God in Christ - I hurt myself.  When I'm not truthful about me - I hurt myself.

So, why do I hurt myself?  The cause is likely something to do with my being a self-centered pleasure seeker by nature.  Yes, I hurt myself when I indulge in my self-focused promotion and self feeding.  The only church in town will share God's solution that promises real freedom from the tyrannical leadership of self - they call it the Gospel truth.  

Just for today...

"I cannot hurt others without hurting myself."  One Day at a Time (p. 20)

"Anger is the punishment we give ourselves for someone else’s mistake.”  Unknown

"It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery."  Galatians 5:1 (NASB)

"Hurt myself; Sabotaged future - Rejected love; Refused nurture."
"Don't deserve; It's true - Christ can; Make ya new."    Am I a Poet?

January 13th - "He wept"

The story...

During 2023/2024, my best friend and I studied, a book called "John" as part of a larger group.  John's the author of the book and, arguably, the best friend of the Man he's writing about.  John tells the Man's story in a way that only a best friend, and eye witness, could.  The protagonist of the story's mother was Mary and His father is claimed to be God Himself.  Yes, He claimed, and provided evidence, that God was His Father.  The Man, John wrote about, is referred to by many names; no one name seems to capture all of who He was and is.  In chapter 11, the Man is walking with His close friends toward a town called Bethany.  He's going to see two sisters and their brother - John says the Man loved the three.  The women's brother died and they were filled with grief.  They believed this Man's father was God himself, and hoped that He would heal their brother.  When He witnesses grief emoting from the women, John says "He wept."

I can related to this story - intellectually and emotionally.  The day I spoke at my mother's memorial service "I wept."  I continued to weep, at unexpected times, for week(s) - I loved my momma so... much.

The only church in town will share how this man, Lazarus, was raised from the dead just a few months before his Savior's blood was shed, body buried, and body resurrected by His power.   Strangely and wonderfully, scripture confirms that we can be spiritually co-crucified, and co-risen from the dead to live rightly with God, in Christ, now and forever.   Man, that's good news!  Hey, why not read the book of John today?

Today, I stand thankful for my faith in Christ and for the love of my momma too.

Just for today...

"Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me."  Revelation 3:20 (NASB)

"Do I secretly relish feeling sorry for myself and want sympathy from others?"  One Day at a Time (p. 13)

"Once upon a time I was afraid to live life for myself. This was because I did not know how to do it and thought that there was no one to show me."  Courage to Change (p. 13)

"Show me how; To live good - What to do; How I should."
"God saved me; Loved me so - Whole in Christ; This I know."   Am I a Poet?

January 11th - Accepted just as I am

The story...

Please read the welcoming statement that I delivered at my mother's memorial service.  The service occurred Saturday, January 13th, 2024, at 2:00pm.

"Welcome to this service where we will be honoring and celebrating the life of our mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, and friend.  Each of our relationships with her was different yet she significantly affected us all.  We’ll all have a chance to share our own experiences either within the service or with each other.  For me, a momma’s boy, she showed a loving sort of grace throughout all my comings and goings.  She was the only person, with skin on ‘em, that loved me no matter what.  Even when she didn’t like what I was doing or saying, I could get up close, smile, stare into her pupils, kiss her hand, and spread my arms out wide and she would drop her airs, smile and we were okay together.  I witnessed grace consistently, only from my momma.  I mean no disrespect to any of you who love me - it was just different with my Mother.  With everybody else, it’s been kind of conditional.  And today we’ll be praising God for the grace that was extended to my Momma, by God, through the great work of Christ when He shed his blood for the forgiveness of our sins that once separated us from God.  Her faith rested in God and not in herself - in the last years she prayed frequently for His help to endure a struggle like standing up from a chair.  That’s why I’m wearing this red tie - to remind us of the blood of Christ - the only reason I and you are right with God."

You can find unconditional love within the only church in town - throughout this life and infinity.

"To infinity and beyond!"

Just for today...

"I am accepted just as I am. I never have to pretend, or wear a mask over my feelings . . . In my new family, love is not a point system. I don't have to earn love from others - it's given freely as a gift."  Courage to Change (p. 11)

"Gift given; Friendship core - Detached souls; Wanting more."
"Need redeemer; God's grace - In Christ; Eternal pace."     Am I a Poet?

January 5th - Close Friendships are Worthy - "muchness"

The story...

I met a friend in a coffee shop that baked wonderfully large and tasty cookies.  The refillable-ceramic coffee mug; throngs of conversationalists huddled closely together; and the big cookie; all feel like "muchness" to me.  "Muchness" is a British romantic word meaning greatness in quantity and degree - it's a really good word to me.

My friend updated me on the reality of his life; in turn, I did the same.  We didn't need to plan what to say - our relationship was big enough to build onto.  It sure helps to have a listening ear that seeks to understand both my message and me.  Our past interactions led me to believe that he truly had my best interest at heart.  When I tell a story, that doesn't seemed to be aligned with who he knows me to be, he challenged me in a kind sort of way.  This close relationship thing is real good.  I'm not so naive to think that he's fully engaged in all my stories; yet, I know he wants to be.  We grow together as we share our stories - that's real good, and I value him and our relationship, greatly.

Clare Ansberry made reasonable claims about the amount of time it takes to develop a close friendship within her 1/02/24, Wall Street Journal, article: "It Takes at Least 200 Hours to Make a Close Friendship, and More to Maintain It."  My personal experience suggests that her claims have face validity. 

The only church in town will offer opportunities to discover people who are similar enough to you that you might take the risk of investing the 200+ hours, to develop that close friendship.  Expect the process to take years rather than weeks.  These relationship endeavors are worthy.  C.S. Lewis said in his book "The Four Loves:"  "Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”   For me, close friends are a key part of the good life - muchness.

Just for today...

"Am I trying to interfere with the natural consequences of a loved one's choices?  Am I trying to do for someone what they could do for themselves?"  Courage to Change (p. 5)

"Unless I am at peace with the child of God I am, I cannot love and help my neighbor. Regrets are vain. They can interfere with the good I could do today, the making of the better person."  One Day at a Time (p. 5)

"Muchness desires; Way to be - Living large; Dreamin ta see."
"Reality challenge; Thus you share - Our destiny; To beware."
"God's revelation; Way beyond me - Lived out; Become We."    Am I a Poet?

December 23rd - Purpose to act or react?

The story...

Habits, routines, honest personal reflection, relationship building, kindness, prayer, quiet meditation, showing respect, and a propensity for doing versus waiting have all worked well for me. This incomplete list helped me grow up.  We'd probably agree that we've erected mental models to make sense of our lives and environments.  We may not agree on just how much our models are incomplete, flawed, biased, or bent to justify what we do or believe.  Upon reflection, we'd likely agree that our efforts are flawed attempts to reflect what we want to be true.  Being more honest, maybe we'd walk toward our life's aim more humbly, thoughtfully, and peacefully than most?

How do I react to those whose ways, manners, physical characteristics, age, actions, beliefs, experiences, education, or aims are significantly different from mine?  In the future, I hope to seek to understand them more before I attempt to "help" them understand me - Steven Covey's discovered principle.  This one focus seems to enable a whole lotta other good-life stuff.

The only church in town will be a great place to meet up with co-sojourners for your life journey.  You can find friends with a common aim, who're on a similar path, that you can relate to, and are in a similar stage along the path.  It's important to work out your reality with others - there're many opportunities to love, and be loved by, most of the everybody.  Relationships and love seem to be the good stuff in life.  Good stuff is available within the only church in town - God's presence within the Body of Christ  - yes, it's q mysterious and awesome truth.

Just for today...

"I would not want this person as a friend, but I do need to work with him as a professional. I don't like him... However, . . . I treat him with the same courtesy and respect I would like him to give me, regardless of whether or not he gives it.  I let it begin with me and act rather than react."  Hope for Today (p. 358)

"Pretend thus; Want this - Selfishly smug; Treacherous kiss."
"Blow love; Ember glows - Guard lowered; Love shows."    Am I a Poet?

December 20th - Love meets each other's needs...

The story...

I imagined a world that was envisioned for me to sell toothpaste, Chevrolets, and scrubbing agents by "Ad Men" in Manhattan.  There was no escaping the overwhelming number of ad messages - they worked.  Life's better when you're drinking a Coca-Cola.

It was a world of love and acceptance - freedom to be me with other like-minded people.  Nobody would tell me what to do.  I'd live out the good stuff and toss the mundane, boring, and self-deprecating parts into the trash.  People would be as you imagined them to be.  I'd find a life partner, who agreed with me, and we'd live out an unburdened good life. 

Good Morning Sunshine - I thought this might be my reality?  Really???

My personality and intellect tended, and tends, to move me towards the rebellious end of the the spectrum.  What was my North Star that kept me going?  Maybe it was my fundamental desire to be accepted, respected, and loved.  Initially, I believed that the marriage relationship would fulfill those needs.  Marriage can do the wonderful - it can teach us how to give and receive love.  Yet, another person can't fill all the missing parts of a good and honest life.

The only church in town will communicate and work out relationships with God, and each other, through His provision in Christ.  I want to be found with Him now and for evermore - work life out alongside friends too.

Just for today...

"What role do my expectations as a child play in my difficulties as an adult?"  Hope for Today (p. 355)

"The more light we generate for others, the better we can see ourselves."  One Day at a Time (p. 355)

"Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous; love does not brag, it is not arrogant. It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit; it is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered, it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; it keeps every confidence, it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."  I Corinthians 13:4-6 (NASB)

"Self hurt; God restore - Love heal; Open door."   Am I a Poet?

December 15th - Growing together

The story...

I went through a period of brokenness - the situation overwhelmed me.  I needed help.  I was withdrawing and isolating from the problem(s).  Thankfully, a caring friend suggested that I meet with a group of people who deal with similar life battles.  They'd helped both him and others he knew.  I went, I felt understood, the environment was comfortable, and I grew to become a better man alongside others.  I actually received love and offered love too.

Even though the people within the group come and go as their needs change - I truly love them and experience love too.  I wish other groups were like that.  Strangely, as I grew towards being a more fully-functioning human, most of the groups that I'm a part of seemed to improve too.  Yes, we rub off on each other and perceive situations differently as WE grow.

The only church in town will have groups and friends who you can grow and walk through life with.  Yes, you can come closer to whom you were created to be.  Yet, most importantly, you can become right with your Creator and begin to walk rightly with Him - that's the relationship that lasts.

I hope that you enjoy todays "Just for today..."  readings.  They're but a sample of those that helped me both during my time of need and today too.  I'm thankful for each of these writers who've shared a chunk of their reality and victory.

Just for today...

"How could I turn my will and my life over to the care of God? . . . It felt so scary to think that I was out of control . . . I wondered what absolute surrender would feel like, and how I would know if I was doing it? . . . He said that turning our will over is like dancing with a partner. If both try to lead, there is much confusion and little forward movement. . . .  But when the partner is willing to relax and let the other partner do the steering, the couple flows easily across the dance floor."  Courage to Change (p. 350)

"Changing myself is such a big job that it keeps me fully occupied . . . I don't let myself get discouraged. Perfection never really has worried me because I know it's unattainable. Instead, I'm thrilled with the small, daily changes I can make in my attitudes and actions."  Hope for Today (p. 350)

"This one day I can easily cope with, if I have not frittered away my energies on destructive emotions, and if I do not provoke antagonism by criticisms, complaints and reproaches."  One Day at a Time (p. 350)

"Lonely solitude; Paths unknown - Preacher maps; Believers follow."
"God met; Narrow path - Truly secure; His way."   Am I a Poet?

December 12th - Love yourself to more fully love others

The story...

Did I need to perform to be loved?  I didn't seem to match the "ideal" person that "we" wanted to be.  And, it seemed my parents were pushing me toward something better than what I was capable of being or best suited for.  I wanted to be loved but close relationships remained elusive.

Growing up, I was smarter than the average kid.  My dad had a respectful job and my needs were met.  We had a bigger boat and newer car than most. They took us on vacations - four states away and to Canada too.  They volunteered and supported our boy scouts and girl scouts activities.  They taught us to be thrifty and capable. They made sure we went to church and were prepared for college.  They did their parenting job well.  My inner man wanted to love and be loved.  Not merely do and receive loving actions; but, to actually love and be loved.  Does love like that require the intervention of God?

The only church in town will be a place where people learn to love themselves gracefully as God loves us through Christ.  These loved people will be more capable and free to love others within graceful relationships.  People will learn the grace that's the undeserved favor of God.  The indwelling Spirit of God will testify of this wonderful loving truth.. 

Just for today...

"How great is the human need for a scapegoat, someone or something to blame for our disappointments . . . at least part of my unhappiness is due to the way I reacted . . . nothing can work damage to me except myself.'"  One Day at a Time (p. 347)

"I had to deal with my old resentments . . . It took discipline and courage to stop pushing every adult away . . . I can love them for who they are, instead of who I think they should be."  Courage to Change (p. 347)

"I wasn't really aware of myself . . .When I learned to love the person I found - myself - I started to perceive and love myriad qualities in the people around me."  Hope for Today (p. 347)

"She smiled; We laughed - The touch; Melding hearts."
"Must keep; Pretend lover - Fades away; Under cover."   Am I a Poet?

December 9th - Being loved and loving

The story...

I've often discussed and pontificated on what both the good life is and how it might be obtained.  Why not "try" to work out our good-life code each day?  The list of reasons, why not to try, is long and not so distinguished: contrary feelings, secret hopes, distant relationships, jealousy, security needs, broken body, haunting memories, thoughts of grandeur, whimsical fantasies, failings of others, the next new thing, boredom, laziness, discouragement...  I've come to terms with the idea that I'm not naturally good - I need intervention in order to be the "good" man whom I've enjoyed being with on occasions. 

So, when do I find myself good?  I'm good when I'm loved and loving.  But, we don't seem lovable by nature.  Is love truly a gift from God?  The power to actually love indwells those who walk rightly and humbly with Him in Christ.  Scripture led me to know that I could lovingly abide in Him despite my inborn-selfish nature.

The only church in town will proclaim that we're lovable by God, ourselves, and others when we're positioned with, and related to, the Son of Man, our Lord and Savior, Jesus the Christ, the Messiah.  He alone can save us from the tyrannical rule of self.  Scripture says our sinful nature separates us from our most Holy God.  He actually paid the death penalty for sin on our behalf - I'm declared redeemed and righteous in Christ!

Just for today...

"Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing."  Albert Schweitzer

"I'm selfish; Sadly blue - Wanna love; Be true."
"Failed trying; Heard Thee - Trusted Him; Live free."    Am I a Poet?

December 2nd - What I wanted from dad came from . . .

The story...

I'm told that my motives for much of what I've done, and thought, came from a desire to please, or even be like, my father.  I discovered that this was at least partially true after my dad passed away.  For example, I discovered I no longer had a desire to fish.   Fishing seemed purposeless without sharing the "best" experiences with my dad.  He seemed to like hearing those stories and freely express positive emotions directed toward me.  Yes, the fishing and story telling were part of my ongoing search for his love and approval.  In truth,  people weren't capable of fully meeting my needs.  I even bought this shirt mainly because it looked like one I remembered him wearing - I didn't wear it..

Like many, I've enjoyed much of Bruce Springsteen's music since my college years.  His songs resonated with some life experiences - deep down in my soul I felt his albums "Born to Run" and "Nebraska."  I was surprised to hear that much of what he did was an effort to be like his dad and to win his approval.  You can hear the music, drama, and story worked out in his Netflix NYC play "Springsteen on Broadway."  He tried to return to his roots but it wasn't the same.

My dad was my first idea of who God must be like.  Sadly, he was merely a good man with strengths and weaknesses.   I was discouraged when I discovered his flaws and didn't receive the love and acceptance that I longed for.  Did I deserve his love?  I was placing my hopes in the wrong place.  I am thankful for the other people who introduced me to my Lord and Savior - Jesus the Christ.  I am so... thankful that people in Christ worked out their love by sharing their faith and hope in our Father our Creator.

Come to the only church in town and learn about the Way.  If you know the Way, then might you share the reality of your Father in Christ with those who are lost?

Just for today...

"I was setting goals that others wanted me to achieve . . . My decisions were based on what others wanted so I could make them love and accept me . . . I thought if I said and did everything my parents wished, I would finally earn their love and attention."  Hope for Today (p. 337)

"Not one thing has ever improved as a result of my mental criticism. All it does is keep my mind on someone other than me . . . What would happen if I took my list of criticisms and applied it, gently, to myself?" Courage to Change (p. 337)

"Dad knew; He had - Acted like; Needed him."
"Disillusion fell; Looked out - God loved; Christ saved."   Am I a Poet?

November 29th - Trying to control the uncontrollable?

The story...

The weather's going to vary.  We might try to control it by moving to a new spot on the globe; yet, it'll vary there too.  We can influence the weather we experience; but, do we really control it?  

We're better able to plan for weather variation in our homes.  We may look at the short-term forecast and  plan accordingly.  Many change their home's environment using: a thermostat with heat and cooling source(s);  a hygrometer to start up the humidifier or dehumidifier; or reported pollen counts to decide to filter the air or close the windows.  Some people don't like it the same way and want the weather within the house to vary too.  Settings are agreed to by compromise or directed by those with authority.  The weather never seems to be quite right.

We try to build homes that are sustainable under all reasonable weather expectations and don't require excessive effort to control them.  We may change the way we dress to better fit how we want to be.  Maybe we'll choose to work in the morning, go to either the air-conditioned mall or beach when it's hot; or travel during periods of weather that's not to our liking.  Maybe its better to accommodate the weather rather than judging it an attempting to control it.   Maybe we could minimize our opinions about the weather and appreciate the natural variation - that sounds good to me.  Yet, I'm going to heat, cool, and filter to adjust for the extremes that may disrupt my life.  I'll dress to accommodate the weather - go with the flow.

How about choosing to be thankful for each day's weather and refrain from judging it to be good or bad?  I'd like to live my life accommodating and appreciating variation.  That'd be better than working never-ending cycles of measuring, judging, controlling, and deeming it to be either good or bad.  And, I'd treat other community members in a similar way.  Engage in their lives and enjoy each other without trying to fix, manage, and control them according to what I expect is best for them.  They won't all be my friends; but, I intend to offer grace, mercy, love, and respect to each.

The only church in town will be thankful for the grace, forgiveness, and love that God pours out on us through our Lord Jesus the Christ.  Church people will work out a similar, albeit clunky, graceful heart within their relationships too - mirroring how God loves them.

Just for today...

"Being an adult was looking good on the outside and not feeling what was going on the inside . . . The first thing to go was the control over others - it simply doesn't work  . . .  Today I can risk being myself. I don't have to live up to anyone's image."  Courage to Change (p. 334)

"Today I can put the past where it belongs and focus on taking care of myself. I needn't wait for someone to do it for me."  Hope for Today (p. 334)

"This self-imposed struggle to control the uncontrollable is certainly not rational."  One Day at a Time (p. 334)

"There it is; Now it ain't - Bouncing along; Loosely free."
"Grab on; Hold fast - Steady now; It's gone."    Am I a Poet?

November 23rd - Identify, apply, and disposition the fear(s)

The story...

Lumbar defects were physical problem(s) that led me to feel: anxious, whiney, and powerless against them.  The fear also caused my really-strong back muscles to tighten up and compress my spine.  The "tightening" exasperated the problem and accelerated degradation - may lead to unrepairable nerve damage too.  Worrying doesn't "not hurt" and likely adds to future "hurt."

Worrying, anxiety, and fear may accelerate back pain.  Are worrying, anxiety, and fear ever warranted?  Truly, these emotions can spur us on towards a better course of action.  Fear-motivated life changes may result in pain avoidance.  It took me about a week to stop whining about the resurrected back pain - I experienced it about 15 years before.  Can we behave more "emotionally intelligent?"  It's possible to sense our emotions, better understand them, and disposition them when they've served their purposes.

With regards to my back problems; the medical system is designed to do what I can't do for myself.  Truly, the process needs my attention and involvement; but, they intervene to effect the change.  Most care givers seemed to love me along the way - they gave me what I needed.  Their care felt real good - kinda like receiving love.

There are some life truths that I don't want to face today.  For those, a reasonable amount of anxiety will help me remember and motivate me to action - to move forward or change.  It does make sense to be "in tune" with our emotions.  Taking that first step can be real hard.  I'm thankful for friends who shine the light of reality on our conditions.  We have a history of people caring for us.  Their kind intervention can be interpreted as love.

Many within the only church in town will be "okay" enough to listen to and care for their fellow pilgrims.  They'll actually hear other's words, emotions, self stories, and needs.   This inter-person care is a great part of being in the Body of Christ and walking rightly with God  (Micah 6:8).

Just for today...

"Just for today I will not be afraid of anything. If my mind is clouded with nameless dreads, I will track them down and expose their unreality . . . God is in charge of me and mine."  One Day at a Time (p. 328)

"I kissed her tears away, the way I wanted her to do for me when I was a child . . . I held her, and we cried together in joy and love."  Hope for Today (p. 328)

"Feelin truly sad; Can't say so - Nobody cares; Hidden woe."
"Best friend listens; Reflects veiled truth - Feeling to action; Held since youth."   Am I a Poet?

November 22nd - Rightly related to God?

The story...

I prefer a day: waking up at a consistent time with thankfulness; planning for & doing good; being honest - grounded in reality; loving me & others; exercising my body & mind - strengthening and stretching each; saying yes more than no; being quiet; dispatching potentially obsessive thinking within five minutes; tuning into my virtual spiritual radio - albeit the station's "staticy;" giving; being kind & receiving kindness; feeding my body & soul; seeking to understand before being understood; walking forward on my pilgrimage alongside close friends; and being a person through whom God is active.  Yet, my free will chooses to do differently each day.  Why?

My noble motives for behaving differently, even in the opposite direction, include my: need to be safe from harm; personal protection boundaries; scarcity of resources; American dream of the good life; acceptance by others; need to fix, manage, and control other people towards my vision of "our" good; avoiding fears from the past, present, and future; desire to receive good grades from the judge(s); escape from unfavorable circumstances; pain avoidance; telling of my good life story; loyalty to my family; and justifications for the way things are - "justified."

I expect that the first paragraph is about being rightly related to God and the second paragraph is about self protection and promotion.  The first paragraph was possible because my unholy self nature was judged, and found wanting.  I was redeemed and reconciled with God Himself in Christ - "I'm with Him." My part was believing on God and His great redemptive work in Christ.

The second paragraph characterizes me working out life by me and for me.  Thankfully, my conscience and the Spirit of God convicts me of this wrong way of being before I cause too much harm.  He restores me daily in a loving way.  My life seems to be continuing cycles of restoration that're heading in a good direction - like we might expect a loving Father to do for those who are His.

The PDCA model is good - yet, different - standardizing & sustaining change

The only church in town will learn and know that they can respond to His calling and be His.  They'll find fellow pilgrims to walk together with through life's circumstances.  Yes, a continuing series of restorative cycles that strengthen our need for receiving love from our heavenly Father - that kind of love is infectious - It can't sit still.  Love spreads far and wide - reflects His Light everywhere.

Just for today...

"Half an hour's meditation is essential except when you are very busy. Then a full hour is necessary."  Francis de Sales

"First I need to develop a relationship with God . . . Next, I learn to become at peace with myself . . .  I can't be that person when I'm overly controlled by guilt, fear, and resentment and negligibly aware of my gifts and talents . . . Lastly, I start acting responsibly toward others."  Hope for Today (p. 326)

"...conflicting views become merely different views, so our problems can be solved with tolerant understanding and mutual respect."  One Day at a Time (p. 326)

"What's to be; Anxious mind's plea - Presently abiding; Placid deep sea."   Am I a Poet?

November 15th - Love and respect requires cycles of restoration

The story...

I watched the Netflix series about the book Anne of Green Gables.  The book's a classic for a reason - the story teaches us much about life in a way that rings true. The protagonist, Anne, writes and prints an article for her school newspaper about justice and fairness.  She tries to make amends with a girl who takes offense with the article - it damaged her reputation.  The girl cuttingly says something like: "How could a person of a trashy upbringing like you know anything about fairness and justice?"  Anne thoughtfully and respectfully responded that she was the same person now as she was then.  She was worthy of love then and now - she always knew she deserved love but hadn't experience it.

"Ann with an 'E'" - Netflix series/

The only church in town will practice love and respect according to the grace and mercy that God the Father so freely offers us within the Lord Jesus the Christ.  Every man, woman, and child may experience love and respect.  Will church discipline be necessary when self-centered people hurt each other?  The discipline would be thoughtfully delivered along with love and respect.  Cycles of forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration will be ongoing.  Selfish bent people will walk together towards the same great hope.  The congregates will be thankful that God loves them, His creatures, and sustains them with grace, mercy, love, forgiveness and all power.

Just for today...

"I realized that the look, tone, or mood of another person toward me often has nothing to do with me . . . my extreme sensitivity is a form of conceit - I think I am the focus of everyone's actions. Am I so important that everything that goes on around me must have something to do with me? . . . what other people did and said reflected on them; what I did and said reflected on me."  Courage to Change (p. 320)

"It's not men's acts which disturb us - but our reaction to them. Take these away and anger goes. No wrong act of another can bring shame on you."  Marcus Aurelius

"When I feel a call for service, I pray for knowledge of God's will for me to make sure it's not just me wanting to manipulate, control, or avoid something going on in my life."  Hope for Today (p. 320)

"Reflecting words; Spew from mouth - Unhearing heart; Offensive to all."
"Sin debt toted; Heavy and sad - God's revealed Light; Son's atonement."   Am I a Poet?