March 3rd - Lovingkindness

The story...

Listening to Simply Red's song, "Holding back the years," seems to emote feelings that abide deep down inside me.  Those welled-up, brain-triggered, emotions remind me that I'm wonderfully human - a "seeker."  A unique creature who's loved by our Creator in Christ; yet, made out of rascally stuff.  I'm a better man when growing in relationship with other characters who're journeying through this epic story of life with me.  

We all know that the years can't really be held back.  The "saying" that "change" is the only constant in life probably isn't a fundamental axiom - it hasn't changed.  Change is worthy of considering as it can help us hold people and things more loosely and focus more on the essentials of life.  As we change, what are we growing toward?  

How does this relate to the only church in town?  I expect that the church will work best when people are allowed to be less guarded and more fully okay with who they actually are.  Maybe, they won't feel the need to fit in with the group by putting on one of those acceptable masks that might be ready and stacked up next to the front door.  It'd be a place where you could be the best version of yourself that's both kind and open to kindness - lovingkindness.

Just for today...

"To me, maturity includes:  

• Accepting love from others, even if I'm having a tough time loving myself . . . 
• Having an opinion without insisting that others share it . . . 
• Forgiving myself and others . . . 
• Caring for people without having to take care of them . . . 
• Accepting that I'll never be finished - I'll always be a work-in-progress."  

Courage to Change (p. 63)

"My creator and I; Emote differently - Hormones make me; More like He."  Am I a Poet?

February 21st - Friendship

The story...

I didn't choose to be a Jim Carrey fan - maybe I just am one by nature.  "When Nature Calls" is Jim's movie that I'm reminded of most often.   The scene where he learns to communicate with the Chief and his son makes me laugh every time I think of it.  I don't expect that they'd likely end up as close friends; yet, the movie reminds me of the awkward moments that may be the beginnings of friendship.  I assume that Jim Carrey fans can be friends with non-Jim Carrey fans; yet, it's more likely that close friends share much in common.

For me, close friendships have been illusive and I greatly value those that I have.  C.S. Lewis, in his book The Four Loves, wrote a great summary of what friendship is and he valued the few close friends he had.  Pursuing a relationship for our own sake is bound to fail.  Relationship success seems more likely when we will what's good for the other person, share much in common, and walk side-by-side together in an honest sort of way.

J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis

Chapter one of Thomas Merton's book "No man is an Island" offers further understanding of the qualities of a good-friend relationships and our role within them.  Since these relationships are important, yet unnecessary, it seems that we should value those we have and be alert to close friendship opportunities.

Within the only church in town, I hope that every person would have at least one close friend.  Jesus, in his humanity, is documented as having at least three close friends - one being His closest.  I've often heard that people are most happy and engaged in the workplace when they have a best friend.  Might the same be true within the only church in town?

Just for today...

"May God preserve me from the love of a friend who will never dare to rebuke me.  May He preserve me from the friend who seeks to do nothing but change and correct me."  No Man is an Island - Merton (p. 10)

"I understand him; He gets me - We climb together; Eyes locked on the prize."  Am I a Poet?

February 13th - But we don't have to go anymore...

The story...

I moved to Duluth, MN, for one year, on a teaching assignment - yes, I've been a teacher.  UMD welcomed me; the students asked me to join them in the stuff that students like to do; the church pulled me into their family; and I lived in a small apartment.  One morning, the apartment manager asked me where I was going on the past Sunday morning.  I told her that I was walking to church.  She said: "I thought so, I saw you were carrying a bible."  She was perplexed and a bit frustrated - "You're a professor, you don't have family here, and you're free to do whatever you want.  Why would you go to church?  We used to have to do that here; but, not anymore - I'm free to do whatever I want."  I shared how it felt to be pulled into a welcoming church family who invited me into their homes and families.  I even played "broom ball" and fished with some of them - "I feel loved there."  She says: "huh, I might try church again." 

I don't think that the only church in town would spend much time reminiscing about the "good old days" when everybody was expected to go to church and try to behave morally right.  Teach me against my will and I'll be of the same opinion still - and likely continue to behave in ways that are more true to who I truly am deep down inside.  

 

Where the story played

Just for today...

"I tried to get God to listen to me through my prayers.  He did, once I stopped telling Him what to do."  Hope for Today (p.44)

"I didn't like myself because I wasn't living up to what I believed to be true about others."  Courage to Change (p. 44)

"Get yer own way, Yer stuck with you; Love together, We're a powerful force."  Am I a Poet?

February 12th - My way or His way?

The story...

"What if there was a place you could go, where there was no TV and you could break bread - anyone who you are sitting with was family."  Peggy Olson - Mad Men (S7:E6)  People like Don Draper and Peggy Olson are looking for love - to belong.  They're acting out their role, trying to scratch that constant itch - they know something's wrong; but, they hide it deep down inside.  They yearn for that person who might truly know them while remaining guarded and habitually attempting to sooth that unrelenting itch...  Maybe if we found that one right person . . . then we could work out "happy ever after" like Bud and Sissy: "Looking for love in all the wrong places ..."

Do you want to do it your way or His way?  Why do I do what I don't want to do?  The only church in town has answers.  Yet, scripture says it takes a mighty work from the Spirit of Christ to change a man's heart - his inner man.  Can you believe that God's gospel truth can be found in that one short creed that Christian representatives agreed to in 325AD?  That creed is surprisingly awesome.

Just for today...

"Detachment allows us to let go of our obsession with another's behavior and begin to lead happier and more manageable lives, lives with dignity and rights, lives guided by a Power greater than ourselves."  Courage to Change (p. 43)

"I wanna be true, to the man inside;  Wanna be better, I choose different."  Am I a Poet?

February 8th - What's Love 💖 Got to Do with It?

The story...

Many people are uncomfortable with the message "I love you."  There's a lot "packed" into the word "love" and it can obviously be misunderstood.  What do they mean and how does the love message receiver respond?  Ideally, would we be able to say "I love you" to most of the people attending the only church in town?  What does that kind of love look and feel like?  What's the source?  Is it something you feel, a measure of the quality of the relationship, or an experienced gift of God?  Is it a verb (something that you do) or a noun (something that you can fall in and out of)?

Before I was born, C.S. Lewis wrote the book The Four Loves and presented it on a radio broadcast in 1958.  I've listened to this broadcast on my CD's many times.  He provided four helpful definitions of love, from four Greek words, used to describe that one English word - LOVE.   Four types of love in a nutshell: Storge is a normal kind of affection or familiarity that's missed when it's not present; Philia is like friendship; Eros is the romantic type of love reserved for the "couples" who are absorbed in each other; Agape is the unconditional type of love similar to the love God offers us through His Son.  

Courtesy of Dunkin' Donuts

Will we truly find "agape" love within the only church in town?  It requires vulnerability with the ever present risk of being hurt, rejected, or even wounded with a broken heart. Yes, the only church in town would be characterized as one where the members were free to express agape love.

Just for today...

"In the past I focused on anyone but myself . . . trying to control the disorder, discomfort, and lack of safety and security of my own childhood."  Hope for Today (p. 39).

"It is unrealistic to expect everyone to like me."  Courage to Change (p. 39)

"You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind."  "You shall love your neighbor as yourself."  Matthew 22:37 (NASB)

"I risked love, my heart broke - He picked it up, formed Us anew."  Am I a Poet?

February 3rd - Living in the Present

 The story...

My peers were taller and seemed more coordinated.  I imagined and hoped for what I might look like when I grew up - then I'd fit in and be more loved and respected.  Tall, strong, riding a thundering-black motorcycle, playing the trumpet better than anyone else, and experiencing true love while being fully accepted by "her."

How might the one church in town have taught me to accept and love myself as I was - in the present?  Might they have helped me to discover who I was in realty - more independent and secure - rightly related and interdependent with others. 

Life clearly only occurs in the present; yet, I've spent too much time dreaming of the future and trying to make sense of the past.  How could the spiritual leaders and church community have facilitated my being pulled more into the present and God's revealed Word?  Were they able to share the actualities of their reality?   Is it possible that they tried but I couldn't hear?  Was my selfish nature so guarded and cemented that I was unable to grow until I experienced "X" years of life?

Just for today...

How do we accept our physical appearance?  If you love yourself as God loves you in Christ then you're free to accept yourself and others too - just the way you are. 🤔 Sounds a bit like Jane Eyre?

"I pray for the wisdom to understand my difficulties clearly and honestly, and for the strength to do something constructive about them.  I know that I can count on God's help in this."  One Day at a Time (p. 34)

"Idling time away; Imagining how it may've been - Left a depression; a day missed."  Am I a Poet?

February 2nd - Hoping for Love

The story ...

I walked up to the door of my seventh-grade Sunday-school room.  The girl that I secretly loved was with a friend.  The friend asked me to show them my fingernails.  I paused before extending my open hand and fingers with my palm facing the linoleum floor.  They both broke out laughing - "you're like a girl!  Guys show their nails as a fist with palm up."  I was secretly crushed, likely tried to pretend I wasn't affected, yet my emotions must have betrayed my internal reality.  My secret search for love was publicly dashed.  I added a few plates to my personal armor to guard against that from happening again.  Oh... the pain of rejection - my wounded heart!

The church where the scene played out

How might the one church in town have helped?  My Sunday school teacher might have noticed a change in behavior.  Someone might have realized that I had no good friends at church.  As some aptly describe, I felt like I was alone on an island yet surrounded by people.  My parents forced me to go to some of the youth meetings - I didn't engage.  I became cynical and critical about the group that rejected me.  

In High School, I found a job that allowed me to miss every other Sunday service.  I tried to bring order and meaning into my life without God's help.  Was a right relationship with God and friends possible?

Thoughts for the day ...

"So I continued to hide and did not accept who I really was."  Hope for Today (p. 33)

"Today, being humble means climbing down from the ladder of judgement of myself and others, and taking my rightful place in a worldwide circle of love and support . . . My thoughts are my teachers.  Are they teaching me to love and appreciate others, or are they teaching me to practice isolation?"  Courage to Change (p. 33)

"Looked for love; in a loving sort of place -  hurt, guilt and shame; led me astray."  Am I a Poet?

January 31st - Daily Feet Washings

The story...

I've a hard time rubbing, let alone washing, my feet - I was born inflexible.  If I work at stretching for about six months, my "stretchability," is closer to normal.  Six months is six times longer than the one month it seems to take for my muscles to return back to their more normal state of inflexibility. 

Like many people, I was also born with a selfish sort of nature.  I cooperated with others while I focused on working out a safe and comfortable life that I was proud of.  Although I was primarily motivated by a need to be loved, I wanted to win in the game of life and associate with people who might help me along the way.  Since humans seem to all want the same "thing," I learned to be more flexible with my interpersonal interactions and relationships.

Strangely, even the Lord Jesus the Christ's disciples exhibited selfishness and pride as they argued about who was best at the last supper before Jesus was crucified (Luke 22:24).  Yes, we're prone to be selfish.  On the same night of the disciples argument, He knelt down and washed each of the twelve's feet.  When it was Peter's turn, he resisted this feet washing by his Lord.  Jesus replied "If I do not wash you, you have no part in Me" (John 13:8).  Maybe He's letting Peter know that he's clean yet needs to wash off the "dirt" of daily life to stay "clean" and rightly related to God through Him.  Jesus washed Peter's feet knowing, and sharing with Peter too, that Peter would publicly disown Him three times before the rooster crowed.  Yes, Peter would need his feet washed again.

Christ Washing the Disciples' Feet - Tintoretto 1548-1549

The only church in town will learn the need to live a righteous life in Christ.  One that's able to bear fruit in all circumstances - they way God worked out the perfect life in Jesus the Christ.  That means, for those with a nature like mine: confessing sin, washing dirt off my feet, and returning to that "right" relationship with our Holy Father through Christ.

Just for today...

"With a new and sincere humility, I asked God to remove my shortcomings . . . I want to be ready for shortcomings to be removed, and I will do what I can to prepare. I can develop a non-judgmental awareness of myself, accept what I discover, and be fully willing to change. But I lack the power to heal myself.  Only God can do that."  Courage to Change (p. 31)

"I washed my feet yet they're dirty again - slipped to my normal way;  It's lonely and anxious on my own - why have I left my Friend?"  Am I a poet?

January 20th - Do I unconsciously hurt myself?

The story...

I was driving home from work and saw a boy crash his bike rather badly on the sidewalk.  I felt a strong need to stop and help him but I didn't.  Strangely, my conscience stung and my inner-man hurt by not coming to the aide of another person who was hurting.  In what other ways might I be unconsciously hurting myself?  

When I obsessively think - I hurt myself.   When I neglect to tell another what's on my heart - I hurt myself.  When I'm so comfortable with what I already know, or believe, to the point of no longer being curious - I hurt myself.  When I ignore a person who looks my way - I hurt myself.  When I stay in my La-Z-Boy recliner instead of going and doing - I hurt myself.  When I don't listen to understand those who might help my physical or mental health - I hurt myself.  When I develop routines and a schedule that doesn't allow for me to care for others  - I hurt myself.  When I neglect relationships - I hurt myself.  When I ask for seconds on a food serving that'll likely contribute to poorer health - I hurt myself.  When I'm not thankful and content - I hurt myself.  When I don't love me or my neighbor - I hurt myself.  When I'm not quiet and listening within my relationship with God in Christ - I hurt myself.  When I'm not truthful about me - I hurt myself.

So, why do I hurt myself?  The cause is likely something to do with my being a self-centered pleasure seeker by nature.  Yes, I hurt myself when I indulge in my self-focused promotion and selfishness.  The only church in town will share God's solution that promises real freedom from the tyrannical leadership of self - they call it the Gospel truth.  

Just for today...

"I cannot hurt others without hurting myself."  One Day at a Time (p. 20)

"Anger is the punishment we give ourselves for someone else’s mistake.”  Unknown

"It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery."  Galatians 5:1 (NASB)

January 13th - "He wept"

The story...

During 2023/2024, my best friend and I studied, a book called "John" as part of a larger group.  John's the author of the book and, arguably, the best friend of the Man he's writing about.  John tells the Man's story in a way that only a best friend, and eye witness, could.  The protagonist of the story's mother was Mary and His father is claimed to be God Himself.  Yes, He claimed, and provided evidence, that God was His Father.  The Man, John wrote about, is referred to by many names; strangely, no one name seems to capture all of who He was and is.  In chapter 11, the Man is walking with His close friends toward a town called Bethany.  He's going to see two sisters and their brother - John says the Man loved the three.  The women's brother died and they were filled with grief.  They believed this Man's father was God himself, and hoped that He would heal their brother.  When He witnesses grief emoting from the women, John says "He wept."

I can related to this story - intellectually and emotionally.  The day I spoke at my mother's memorial service "I wept."  I continued to weep, at unexpected times, for week(s) - I loved my momma so... much.

The only church in town will share how this man, Lazarus, was raised from the dead just a few months before his Savior's blood was shed, body buried, and body resurrected by His own power.   Strangely and wonderfully, scripture confirms that we can be spiritually co-crucified, and co-risen from the dead to live rightly with God, in Christ, now and forever.   Man, that's good news!  Hey, why not read this book of John today?

Today, I stand thankful for my faith in Christ and for the love of my momma.

Just for today...

"Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me."  Revelation 3:20 (NASB)

"Do I secretly relish feeling sorry for myself and want sympathy from others?"  One Day at a Time (p. 13)

"Once upon a time I was afraid to live life for myself. This was because I did not know how to do it and thought that there was no one to show me."  Courage to Change (p. 13)

January 11th - Accepted just as I am

The story...

Please read the welcoming statement that I delivered at my mother's memorial service.  The service was scheduled for Saturday, January 13th, at 2:00pm.

"Welcome to this service where we will be honoring and celebrating the life of our mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, and friend.  Each of our relationships with her was different yet she significantly affected us all.  We’ll all have a chance to share our own experiences either within the service or with each other.  For me, a momma’s boy, she showed a loving sort of grace throughout all my comings and goings.  She was the only person, with skin on ‘em, that loved me no matter what.  Even when she didn’t like what I was doing or saying, I could get up close, smile, stare into her pupils, kiss her hand, and spread my arms out wide and she would drop her airs, smile and we were okay together.  I witnessed grace consistently, only from my momma.  I mean no disrespect to any of you who love me - it was just different with my Mother.  With everybody else, it’s been kind of conditional.  And today we’ll be praising God for the grace that was extended to my Momma, by God, through the great work of Christ when He shed his blood for the forgiveness of our sins that once separated us from God.  Her faith rested in God and not in herself - in the last years she prayed frequently for His help to endure a struggle like standing up from a chair.  That’s why I’m wearing this red tie - to remind us of the blood of Christ - the only reason I and you are right with God."

You can find unconditional love within the only church in town - throughout this life and infinity.

"To infinity and beyond!"

Just for today...

"I am accepted just as I am. I never have to pretend, or wear a mask over my feelings . . . In my new family, love is not a point system. I don't have to earn love from others - it's given freely as a gift."  Courage to Change (p. 11)

January 5th - Close Friendships are Worthy - "muchness"

The story...

I've planned to meet a friend today in a coffee shop that bakes wonderfully large and tasty cookies.  The refillable-ceramic coffee mugs, throngs of people huddled closely together in conversation, and the big cookie, all feel like "muchness" to me.  "Muchness" is a British romantic word meaning greatness in quantity and degree - it's a really good word to me.

My friend will update me on the reality of his life and I'll have the opportunity to do the same.  I don't need to plan what I'm going to say - our relationship is big enough that we've many ways to build on it.  It sure helps to have a listening ear that seeks to understand both my message and me better - our past interactions have led me to believe that he truly has my best interest at heart.  When I tell a story that doesn't seemed to be aligned with who he knows me to be - he'll challenge me in a kind sort of way.  This close relationship thing is real good.  I'm not so naive to think that he's fully engaged in all my stories yet I know he wants to be.  We grow together as we share our stories - that's real good, and I value him and our relationship, greatly.

Clare Ansberry makes reasonable claims about the amount of time it takes to develop a close friendship within her 1/02/24, Wall Street Journal, article: "It Takes at Least 200 Hours to Make a Close Friendship, and More to Maintain It."  My personal experience suggests that her claims have face validity. 

The only church in town will offer opportunities to discover people who are similar enough to you that you might take the risk, and invest the 200+ hours, to develop a close friendship.  Expect the process to take years rather than weeks.  These relationship endeavors are worthy.  C.S. Lewis said in his book "The Four Loves:"  "Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”   For me, close friends are a key part of the good life - the muchness.

Just for today...

"Am I trying to interfere with the natural consequences of a loved one's choices?  Am I trying to do for someone what they could do for themselves?"  Courage to Change (p. 5)

"Unless I am at peace with the child of God I am, I cannot love and help my neighbor. Regrets are vain. They can interfere with the good I could do today, the making of the better person."  One Day at a Time (p. 5)

December 23rd - Purposely act or react?

The story...

Habits, routines, honest personal reflection, relationship building, kindness, prayer, quiet meditation, showing respect, and a propensity for doing versus waiting have all worked well for me. This incomplete list helped me grow up.  We'd probably agree that we've erected mental models to make sense of our lives and environments.  We may not agree on just how much our models are incomplete, flawed, biased, or bent to justify what we do or believe; yet, upon reflection we'd likely agree that they're flawed attempts to reflect what we want to be true.  Then, maybe we'd continue to walk toward our life's aim in a more honest, humble, thoughtful, and peaceful way than most do?

How do I react to those whose ways, manners, physical characteristics, age, actions, beliefs, experiences, education, or aims are significantly different from mine?  In the future, I hope to seek to understand them before I attempt to "help" them understand me - Steven Covey principle.  This one focus seems to enable a whole lotta of other good-life stuff.

The only church in town will be a great place to meet up with co-sojourners for your life journey.  You can find friends with a common aim, who're on a similar path, that you can relate to, and are in a similar stage along the path.  It's important to work out your reality with others too - there're many opportunities to love, and be loved by, most of the everybody.  Relationships and love seem to be the good stuff in life.  Good stuff is available within the only church in town - God's presence within the Body of Christ  - yes, it's mysterious and awesome too.

Just for today...

"I would not want this person as a friend, but I do need to work with him as a professional. I don't like him... However, . . . I treat him with the same courtesy and respect I would like him to give me, regardless of whether or not he gives it.  I let it begin with me and act rather than react."  Hope for Today (p. 358)

December 20th - Love meets each other's needs...

The story...

I imagined a world that was envisioned for me to sell toothpaste, Chevrolets, and scrubbing agents by "Ad Men" in Manhattan.  There was no escaping the overwhelming number of ad messages - they worked.  Life's better when you're drinking a Coca-Cola.

It was a world of love and acceptance - freedom to be me with other like-minded people.  Nobody would tell me what to do - I'd live out the good stuff and toss the mundane, boring, and self-deprecating parts into the trash.  People would be as you imagined them to be.  I'd find a life partner, who agreed with me, and we'd live out an unburdened good life. 

Good Morning Sunshine - I thought this might be my reality?  Really???

My personality and intellect tended, and tends, to move me towards the rebellious end of the the spectrum.  What was my North Star that kept me going?  Maybe it was my fundamental desire to be accepted, respected, and loved.  Initially, I believed that the marriage relationship would fulfill those needs.  Marriage can do the wonderful - it can teach us how to give and receive love.  Yet, another person can't fill all the missing parts of a good and honest life.

The only church in town will communicate and work out relationships with God, and each other, through His provision in Christ.  I want to be found with Him now and for evermore - and work life out my life alongside friends too.

Just for today...

"What role do my expectations as a child play in my difficulties as an adult?"  Hope for Today (p. 355)

"The more light we generate for others, the better we can see ourselves."  One Day at a Time (p. 355)

"Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous; love does not brag, it is not arrogant. It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit; it is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered, it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; it keeps every confidence, it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."  I Corinthians 13:4-6 (NASB)

December 15th - Truly understanding other points of view

The story...

I went through a period of brokenness a few years ago - I needed help with a situation that overwhelmed me.  I needed help and knew that my withdrawal and isolation from the problem(s) wasn't helping.  Thankfully, there was a friend who cared for me and suggested that I meet with a group of people who shared similar life battles - they'd helped both him and others he knew.  I went, I felt understood, the environment was comfortable, and I actually learned how to understand before seeking to be understood - to actually receive love and offer love too.  It's good being with people who care.

Even though the people within the group come and go as their needs change - I truly love them and feel loved by them too.  I wish other groups could be like that.  Yet, strangely as I grew towards a more fully-functioning human, all of the groups that I'm a part of seemed to improve too.  Yes, we rub off on each other and perceive situations differently as WE grow.

The only church in town will have groups and friends who you can grow and walk through life with.  Yes, you can come closer to whom you were created to be.  Yet, most importantly, you can become right with your Creator and begin to walk rightly with Him - that's the relationship that lasts.

I hope that you enjoy todays readings.  They're but a sample of those that helped me both during my time of need and today too.  I'm thankful for each of these writers who shared a chunk of the reality of their lives.

Just for today...

"How could I turn my will and my life over to the care of God? . . . It felt so scary to think that I was out of control . . . I wondered what absolute surrender would feel like, and how I would know if I was doing it? . . . He said that turning our will over is like dancing with a partner. If both try to lead, there is much confusion and little forward movement. . . .  But when the partner is willing to relax and let the other partner do the steering, the couple flows easily across the dance floor."  Courage to Change (p. 350)

"Changing myself is such a big job that it keeps me fully occupied . . . I don't let myself get discouraged. Perfection never really has worried me because I know it's unattainable. Instead, I'm thrilled with the small, daily changes I can make in my attitudes and actions."  Hope for Today (p. 350)

"This one day I can easily cope with, if I have not frittered away my energies on destructive emotions, and if I do not provoke antagonism by criticisms, complaints and reproaches."  One Day at a Time (p. 350)

December 12th - Love yourself to more fully love others? How?

The story...

Did I need to perform well in order to be loved?  I didn't match the "ideal" person that "we" wanted to be.  And, it seemed that my parents were constantly pushing me to be toward something better than what I was capable of being or best suited for.  I know that I wanted to be loved yet the close relationships were elusive - they remained distant until I graduated from high school.

Growing up, I was smarter than the average kid.  My dad had a respectful job and my needs were met.  We had a bigger boat and newer car than most. They took us on vacations - four states away and to Canada too.  They volunteered and supported our boy scouts and girl scouts activities.  They taught us to be thrifty and capable - prepared for the future. They made sure that we went to church and were prepared to go away to college.  They did the parenting job well.  Yet, my heart wanted more - to love and be loved.  Not merely do and receive loving actions; but, to actually love and be loved.  Does love like that require the power of God?

The only church in town will be a place where people learn to love themselves gracefully as God does for us through Christ.  These loved people will be more capable and free to love others in relationships that require grace.  Grace, undeserved favor that comes from a power source - the Spirit of God. 

Just for today...

"How great is the human need for a scapegoat, someone or something to blame for our disappointments . . . at least part of my unhappiness is due to the way I reacted . . . nothing can work damage to me except myself.'"  One Day at a Time (p. 347)

"I had to deal with my old resentments . . . It took discipline and courage to stop pushing every adult away . . . I can love them for who they are, instead of who I think they should be."  Courage to Change (p. 347)

"I wasn't really aware of myself . . .When I learned to love the person I found - myself - I started to perceive and love myriad qualities in the people around me."  Hope for Today (p. 347)

December 9th - "I'm good when I'm loved and loving."

The story...

I've often discussed and pontificated on what the good life is and how it might be obtained in reality.  Why not "try" to work out our good-life code each day?  The list of reasons, why not to try, is long and not so distinguished: contrary feelings, secret hopes, distant relationships, jealousy, security needs, physical pain, haunting memories, thoughts of grandeur, whimsical fantasies, failings of others, the next new thing, boredom, discouragement...  I've come to terms with the idea that I'm not naturally good - I need intervention in order to be the "good" man whom I've enjoyed being with on occasions. 

So, when do I find myself good?  I'm good when I'm loved and loving.  Yet, how might I be good if I and others aren't lovable by nature?  It's a gift of God - He's got the power that indwells those who walk rightly and humbly with Him in Christ - praise God that we can abide in this reality.

The only church in town will proclaim that we're lovable by God, ourselves, and others when we're positioned with, and related to, the Son of Man, our Lord and Savior, Jesus the Christ, our Messiah.  He alone can save us from the tyrannical rule of self; yes, our sinful nature separates us from our most Holy God.  He actually paid the death penalty for sin on our behalf - I'm declared righteous in Christ!

Just for today...

"Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing."  Albert Schweitzer

December 2nd - What I wanted from dad came from . . .

The story...

I'm told that my motives for much of what I've done, and thought, came from a desire to please, or even be like, my father.   I discovered that this was at least partially true after my dad passed away - I discovered I no longer had a desire to fish.   Fishing seemed purposeless without sharing the "best" experiences with my dad - he liked hearing those stories and freely expressed positive emotions directed toward me.  The fishing and story telling were part of my ongoing search for his love and approval - he, and most everyone else, wasn't capable of fully meeting my needs.  I even bought this shirt last year mainly because it looked like one I remembered him wearing - strangely, I don't wear it..

Like many, I've enjoyed much of Bruce Springsteen's music since my college years.  The songs resonated with what I was experiencing - deep down in my soul - "Born to Run" and his album "Nebraska."  I was surprised to hear that much of what he did was an effort to be like his dad and win his approval.  You can hear the music, drama, and story worked out in his Netflix NYC play "Springsteen on Broadway."  He returned to his roots but it wasn't the same.

My dad was my first idea of what God must be like - my Father.  Sadly, he was just a man with strengths and weaknesses.   I was discouraged when I discovered his weaknesses and didn't receive the love and acceptance that I longed for.  Did I deserve his love?  I was placing my hopes in the wrong place - other people introduced me to my Lord and Savior Jesus the Christ - I am so... thankful that these people loved me enough to show me the Way.

Come to the only church in town and learn about the Way.  If you know the Way, then work out your faith in actualities.  If you've worked out your faith, then share it with a young man like I was - please...

Just for today...

"I was setting goals that others wanted me to achieve . . . My decisions were based on what others wanted so I could make them love and accept me . . . I thought if I said and did everything my parents wished, I would finally earn their love and attention."  Hope for Today (p. 337)

"Not one thing has ever improved as a result of my mental criticism. All it does is keep my mind on someone other than me . . . What would happen if I took my list of criticisms and applied it, gently, to myself?" Courage to Change (p. 337)

December 1st - Caring for others "in secret?"

The story...

Why is it helpful to keep our kind deeds or gifts secret?  Maybe it prevents unhealthy attachment to others for our own sake or benefit?  Maybe giving in secret helps us model outwardly an inward hope or reality in our hearts?  Maybe it allows us to actually experience the offering of love to another person - experiencing grace?   Maybe it's an outward way to resist our central tendency to promote and protect self?  Maybe it feels right because it intrinsically consistent with a good heart?

“1. Take care not to practice your righteousness in the sight of people, to be noticed by them; otherwise you have no reward with your Father who is in heaven. 2. So when you give to the poor, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, so that they will be praised by people. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. 3. But when you give to the poor, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4. so that your charitable giving will be in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you."  Matthew 6:1-4  (NASB)

Matthew exposes a selfish motive for giving and suggests an abnormal alternative.  This secret type of giving may be evidence of a good heart - one who does not need the approval of others or is worried about not having enough.  At a minimum, it describes a heart that wants to walk right with God and their fellow man - loving your neighbors as yourself.

The only church in town will proclaim God's truth, shining light on the darkness around us, making sense of even our motives behind giving.  It'll be a place where people can come to a right position with God in Christ.  Then they're able to work out this life with a confident hope - characterized by love and joy expressed from their innermost beings.  One that might naturally give in secret - gracefully.  Yet, much of these internal realities will be hidden within guarded people who work out their lives within a world that's dark - without reason for hope.

Just for today...

"Have I made progress in my effort to correct my faulty attitudes? Have I let discouragement plunge me back into my old habit patterns? When something I did had consequences that made life difficult for me, did I try to blame someone else?"  One Day at a Time (p. 336)

"I began to see that my way of caring often meant reacting and manipulating. I'd do something nice for someone because I wanted to be liked . . . Sometimes I wanted to attach myself and feed off someone mentally, emotionally, and spiritually . . . Sometimes what I call "love" is really just control."  Hope for Today (p. 336)

November 29th - Trying to control the uncontrollable? Why?

The story...

The weather's going to vary.  We can attempt to control it by moving to a new spot on the globe yet it'll vary there too.  It's true that we can influence the weather but can we really control it?  

We're better able to plan for weather variation in our homes.  We can look at the short-term forecast and  plan accordingly.  Many change their home's environment using: a thermostat with heat and cooling source(s);  a hygrometer to start up the humidifier or dehumidifier; and reported pollen counts to begin filtering the air or closing the windows.  Yet, some people don't like it the same way and the weather within the house varies too - the settings are agreed to by compromise or directed by those with authority - it's never quite right.

So, some of us build houses that are sustainable under all reasonable weather expectations and don't require excessive effort to control them.  The people change the way they dress and behave differently.  They may choose to work in the morning, go to the air-conditioned mall or beach, when it's hot; or even travel during periods of weather that's not to their liking.  They accommodate the weather rather than judging it an attempting to control it.   They might not even have an opinion about the weather and actually appreciate the variation - that sounds good to me.  Yet, I'm going to heat, cool and filter to adjust for the extremes that significantly affect our lives - just like I'm going to plan on dressing for the weather.

I choose to be thankful for each day's weather and refuse to judge it as being either good or bad.  I want to live my life accommodating the variation and appreciating it rather than working never-ending cycles of measuring, judging, controlling, and deeming it as either good or bad.  And, I want to treat the people that I interact with, in community, in a similar way.  Engage in their lives and enjoy each other without trying to fix, manage, and control them according to what I expect is best for them.  They won't all be my friends yet I intend to offer grace, mercy, love, and respect to all.

The only church in town will be thankful for the grace, forgiveness, and love that God pours out on us through our Lord Jesus the Christ.  Church people will work out a similar, albeit clunky, graceful heart within their relationships too - mirroring how God loves them.

Just for today...

"Being an adult was looking good on the outside and not feeling what was going on the inside . . . The first thing to go was the control over others - it simply doesn't work  . . .  Today I can risk being myself. I don't have to live up to anyone's image."  Courage to Change (p. 334)

"Today I can put the past where it belongs and focus on taking care of myself. I needn't wait for someone to do it for me."  Hope for Today (p. 334)

"This self-imposed struggle to control the uncontrollable is certainly not rational."  One Day at a Time (p. 334)