The story...
I participated in a meeting with fourteen other men - we were focused on topics that were important to us all. Each of us were group leaders who would later facilitate similar discussions with our own groups. There were expectations that we engage in conversation to share and learn from each other as we prepared for leading our own groups. In the past, I often felt a strong desire to share what was on my mind. The noble motives for my sharing may have been: edifying others; redirecting conversation to what I thought was more important; identifying logical, practical or factual flaws; or to behave like a "good" group member.
That day; I listened more and recorded helpful learnings and observations that worked their way into my own group's topical conversation. I didn't speak up much and felt peaceful and content within the full meeting. I think that my self might've been quietly riding in the back seat and that the real me, and my faith in God, were up front driving the car. I was content and thankful for my compadres.
My self seemed to be quietly riding in the back seat. He likes to be: proud, accepted, admired; and the focus of attention - even at the expense of others. The self I've been gifted with seems to be a competitor. One who's working to expand what is his with hopes of being safe, secure, and admired by others - indispensable. Self tends to live in an imaginary world where he's the main character - the most important one. Kinda like a little "god." Ugh...
Maslow's five hierarchy of needs suggests that each self's goal is to be self actualized. A world where everyone's a winner and there are no losers. Human history seems to read as a long saga of pain and anguish fueled by selfish selves who war against each other trying to fulfill their grandiose sense of self. Their self aims to be elevated to a higher level, a sort of "god' whereby the community is enriched and self' is celebrated and greatly appreciated. Maybe it's a sort of illusive love that we secretly crave?
Maslow's hierarchy of needs with an additional level?
The only church in town will preach what God has revealed about who He is and who we are as His creatures. True freedom from the tyrannical ruler of self is offered. Is your desire to transcend yourself to a sort of "god" valid or even reasonable?
Just for today...
"I need to distinguish between giving out of love and giving to please others in order to gain their attention or approval." Hope for Today (p. 293)
"Struggling and worrying didn't help me to solve my problem. Doing my part and trusting God with the rest did." Courage to Change (p. 293)
"I will not allow my imagination to build small troubles into big ones. I will try to see each situation clearly, and give it only the value and attention it deserves." One Day at a Time (p. 294)
"Self wants; Love gives - Love received; Pays forward." Am I a Poet?
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