September 8th - "Believe that thou mayest understand."

The story...

One day I heard the good news of the gospel and believed.  Some great other worldly event happened that day - scripture says my name was written in The Book of Life.  Another day, I chose to fully trust God's Word and to drop the doubting inklings that held me back. Thereafter, I walked more closely with God in thought, prayer, quiet meditation, and in awe of His mysterious workings within my life.  I began to live a more thankful, curious, loving, honest, and expectant life.  I became a good character in the greatest story of all time - more rightly walking humbly with God.  Loving the Lord my God with all my heart, mind, and soul.  Loving myself more and my neighbor too - through the power of God.

Oxford site where Inklings met on Tuesday mornings

The only church in town would not leave new believers, of the Good News, as babies who can't yet chew the meat of God's revealed Word.  They'd share their knowledge, faith, actualities, and more humbly walk through life together with God by faith.

I continue to be in awe of the wonder of creation, life, this day, and this breath.  Please join me in praising God in thankfulness - fully trusting.

Just for today...

"What obstacles block me from tuning over my will and my life to God? In my case, the answer is obvious: I want guarantees. I hold out, thinking that I'll come up with a new solution to my problems even though I've tried and failed, again and again. The risk of faith seems too great. If I turn a situation over, I won't be in control. I can't be sure I'll get my way." Courage to Change (p. 252)

“For understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore do not seek to understand in order to believe, but believe that thou mayest understand.”  Saint Augustine, Homilies on the Gospel of John, 29.6, vol. 7, (p. 184)

"If I bring sunshine into our home, it cannot fail to affect those in it."  One Day at a Time (p. 252)

July 2nd - Is a Peaceful or Vibrant Chapter Best?

The story...

What does being peaceful mean to you - Less consternation, calm feelings, a quiet sense of purpose and strong relationships?   Some would rather have a vibrant life characterized by: excited thoughts, amped up feelings, a sense that anything's possible, and a life less bounded by relationships?

Maybe younger adults are designed to live vibrant lives and older people are designed to work out more peaceful lives.  If that's true, then is it reasonable to expect a younger person to live with a sense of peace, calmness, and purpose?  Would a peaceful person be able to move mountains, lead thousands, and work out a close and continual relationship with their God too?

I'm thankful for each stage of life and how I've learned to say goodbye to the old and hello to the new.  The book of my life wouldn't be as rich and meaningful without all the chapters - the good, the bad, and the ugly too.

The only church in town would be full of unique and wonderful biographies that're all in the process of being written.  There'd be a library where people could read completed biographies yet they wouldn't spend too much time there.  They'd all recognize the great value of experiencing the current chapter of each person within community.

Just for today...

"If I am getting in the way of my own best interests, a closer look at my behavior can lead to positive changes."  Courage to Change (p. 184)

June 27th - What might you teach you?

The story...

I'm thankful that I wrote some of my thoughts as I journeyed through life.  I'm often surprised at the clarity of my questions, the degree of focus, and how the conclusions of the moment are helpful to me at a later part of life.  I especially appreciate the sketches - they remind me of the stuff that seems to need more than words and story to remember the more-whole picture.

The following picture is a sketch that I made about a vivid  dream, about ten years ago, where I seemed to be fully interacting.  I woke up with the type of memory, consternation, and feelings that sometimes come from events that we experience in reality.

"The dream was so... real..."

My video recordings of my lectures were often difficult for me to review or improve.  When I developed a new course, I: studied multiple textbooks; reviewed seminal and current journal articles related to the body of knowledge; searched for current events; and reflected on how the knowledge was worked out within my own work life.  Therefore, the lectures seemed richer and more integrated than I might create at a later, less prepared, point in time.  I was often humbled by what a younger version of me could teach me about the subject.  This being true, I ignored the stammers, the awkward pauses, and the misspoken words that'd be sprinkled in.  The imperfections were actually part of the richness of the reality of life - the stuff that makes life more real and comfortable.

The people congregating within the only church in town will become comfortable together.  They'd have opportunities to honestly reflect on the reality of their lives together. These shared experiences, thoughts, prayers, and daily happenings would be perceived increasingly inline within the will of God.  They'd see the Spirit of Christ worked out through real people whose hearts are partially revealed to them.

Just for today...

"... if I listen to my words, I find that I usually tell those whom I sponsor exactly what I myself need to hear."  Courage to Change (p. 179)

June 14th - Will what works for you really work best for others?

The story...

Oh the countless hours spent coaching others regarding how they might best improve their lives based on my own learnings and experiences.  Sharing my ways of living seemed like a noble endeavor.  This "story teller" style of interaction attracted listeners.  The dream of telling stories as a professor seemed like a good person-job fit so I worked that long winding path towards a PhD.  The last ten years of my career were spent living out my dream job.

I imagined being a professor who lived on a quiet-tree-lined street, in a one-story house, with a big front porch.  Students would stop by to discuss their research work, to talk about life, or to imagine what might be together.  We'd work consulting engagements together where we'd make a real difference.  As you might expect, it didn't work out the way I imagined.  Students and fellow professors tired me by the end of the day and I looked forward to retiring to my condo outside of campus.

Towards the end of the semester, during my first year teaching in Duluth, MN, a student made a comment to me within a large lecture hall.  "I don't see why we're tested on opinions that you have about anything - shouldn't we be tested on what's proved to be true about the subject?"  He was right; thereafter, I clearly distinguished my opinion from the body of knowledge that we studied together.

So, I do know a lot of stuff yet know that a man should be taught as though they've not been taught. Who can know the will of God for another person?  Within the past three years, I've more frequently kept my opinions to myself and found that I now have few opinions as to what another person might best do or be.  It seems, I don't naturally gravitate to forming opinions about other people anymore.  I do look for, and greatly appreciate, closer relationships with other people and my closer walk with God through the Spirit of Christ.

Interpersonal skills worthy of emulating...

Within the only church in town, people would be allowed to actually grow in their love for God, for themselves, and for other people too.  Each person loving in their own unique way and at their own pace.   The measure of their faith wouldn't be primarily based on their knowledge of scripture or church resume - they would be a unique work of God, rightly related to Him, and humbly walking together.

Just for today...

"It's only natural to want to share what works for me with those I love.  But, when I must share it now, I may be more interested in changing others than in sharing my experience, strength, and hope."  Courage to Change (p. 166)

"We ought not to insist on everyone following in our footsteps, nor to take upon ourselves to give instructions in spirituality when, perhaps, we do not even know what it is."  Teresa of Avila

May 31st - Dents and Stains Redeemed

The story...

I bought a new black Datsun 310 in 1981.  My best friend and his wife were my first riders.  He stepped in some kind of grease before sitting in the car - the 6" grease spot stayed on the carpet until the day I sold it.  

Then, you could drive fast in Tennessee without the worry of a speeding ticket.  When the car was a couple months old, I hit a guardrail while joy riding - the dented-rear fender stayed on the car until the day I sold it.

I moved the car to Ohio and Michigan before finally selling it - bought a new red Honda.  Years later, I found that Datsun in a junk yard, the greased-stained carpet and dented fender were still there - evidence. 

The dent's on the other side...

I try and sometimes make mistakes.  I want to be accepted and loved by other people.  Yet, they sometimes reject me or demean me by making light of me or my accomplishments - wounded pride.  In close relationships, I show my flaws and risk being hurt.  I can either hide my dents and stains or I can fully place my value in my relationship with my Creator - the only place where I must be truly okay.  He loves me just the way I am because He redeemed me - I'm His in Christ.  Scripture, my life walk, and His Spirit at work in me, confirm that I'm right with Him - even with my dents and stains.

I've skills and abilities yet I'm incomplete - I need our Creator and the group to walk through life rightly.  You can find a flawed, yet redeemed, group like that within the only church in town - show up.

Just for today...

"The world cannot be discovered by a journey of miles . . . only by a spiritual journey . . . by which we arrive at the ground at our feet, and learn to be at home."  Wendell Berry

"My self-esteem diminished whenever I made a mistake, didn't know something I was expected to know, did something wrong, or when something I unintentionally did or said ended up hurting someone . . . I believed my mistakes were proof of my failure at the one thing I was supposed to accomplish - perfection." Hope for Today (p. 152)

May 21st - Staying Curious, Opinionated or Simply Trusting God?

The story...

I grew up in a "blue ribbon" family who thought that their way was the best way - others hadn't yet learned the right way.  My dad was forceful with his opinions, within the family, yet quiet and humbler when outside.  

I rebelled.  It may have started when I refused to show any emotion when he spanked me at about twelve years of age - he never spanked or punished me again.  He was a good man who didn't know the best way to be a father either - neither of us were given the "dad" instruction manual.  He did give me the freedom to live. One day I told him that I no longer needed my allowance.  I had a paper route and no longer wanted to do the small number of mandatory chores around the house - he said okay.  He stood by his word and I don't remember ever being compelled to make my bed again.

Like him, I wanted to be the best dad I could be.  I was so proud to win this trophy the weekend after my first child's birth - winning required running through pain.

I'm thankful for each life experience that's exposed me to other ways of thinking and living.  Being curious and a story teller by nature, I learned from other people's life stories.  Yes, I appreciate people who are different from me and vulnerable enough to share parts of their life stories. 

It seems that most people aren't quite so curious and are more comfortable and safer within tighter boundaries.  When I find it difficult to listen to people with restricted points of view, I've learned to be patient and seek to understand - being grateful for what I can learn from each.  I've intend to value each person whom I've had the privilege of getting to know better.  

In recent years, I've grown by listening to people who have a simple faith in God.  By simple, I mean that they've avoided thousands of hours of bible study in attempts to perfect their knowledge of God and the potential of their relationship with Him.  They simply rely on a few essential promises from God and believe on Him for their salvation from this life and for all eternity too. Then, they work their faith out in actualities.  It brings me great joy to share their life stories.

Everybody within the only church in town would be valued and known to be worthy of respect.  We would be heard and loved by our neighbors - just the way we are.  Oh..., the unlimited potential!

Just for today...

 "My children tell me they appreciate being able to talk with me without being 'fixed' or 'bossed' around . . . many of my problems stemmed from minding everyone's business but my own."  Hope for Today (p. 142)

"Humility is said to be perpetual quietness of heart.  It means that I do my part and trust God to take care of the rest."  Courage to Change (p. 141)

May 16th - Did I Take Up Too Much Space?

The story...

I grew up within a loud-large family where I felt the need to interject my story quickly, with enthusiasm, and in an interesting way, for people to acknowledge me - to fit it.  I was born with a personality that I seem to have crafted into that role - mine was different than all the others.  When I left the confines of my family, I realized the need to adapt my role playing to better "fit in."  I assumed the "real" me wasn't enough to naturally fit in - to avoid rejection.  So, I became proficient as the story teller.  I gravitated toward people and places where stories were told - where I could shine.  The college bar scene was the perfect environment until it wasn't.

My spouse married a fun guy - the story teller.  He was loud, funny, enthusiastic, and the idea guy - she complimented me in ways where I was lacking.  We were a good team - friends.  We had kids, supervisor jobs, and community roles that required adaptation to fit it.  

Later in life, I became more comfortable with me and dropped some of the habits that made up parts of my persona.  Some of my current "ways" might have been more natural for me, as a young boy, if I grew up in a different type of family.  Yet, I'm thankful that I tended to engage in life, liven the group with my stories, embark on new adventures, and change things up. 

Today, I'm truly a better listener - respect and value others more too.  I'm thankful for my current character within this epic story of life yet I also value my past roles - the tapestry of who I am.

The only church in town would appreciate each person as they are within their story.  Collectively, they'd know that they're a key part of a much richer tapestry.  A place where all people can rest, learn, grow, and abide in the reality of who they are in Christ.

 

Just for today...

"A wonderful nurturing atmosphere is created when people help other people by being themselves and sharing their own experiences."  Courage to Change (p. 137)

"When I feel I must take a radical and irrevocable step, shouldn't I make sure I am not motivated by resentment, hatred, or anger?"  One Day at a Time (p. 137)

May 4th - Mansion on the Hill

The story...

Are you okay with your character within the epic story of life?  I expect it's good to want to improve our condition yet it's probably more important to appreciate the good in what we got.

I remember imagining how great it would be to be a professor.  Graduate students working real projects alongside me and even stopping by my house to talk about their ideas and lives too.  I'd live in a one-story-brick house with a big front porch.  It'd never be winter on that tree-lined street where everybody felt welcomed.  We'd share our lives as we worked through the reality of this world and what might be.  I'd attend lectures, plays, and concerts.  Life would be bigger, wiser, and more fulfilling. 

The idea was compelling enough that I worked long and hard to earn my PhD and find that university job.  It was good, yet it wasn't as I imagined it would be.  I was tired at the end of a work day and looked forward to returning to my condo - away from campus, fellow professors, and the students too. 

Most people aren't alive and their time under the sun is over.  Biology, astronomy and the science leave me in awe of this "miracle" of life.  Wow, you and I are both alive if you're reading this sentence.  That's a big wow!

We can waste our life dreaming of a better reality, the "mansion on the hill," and miss the wonderful reality of what truly is.  Bruce Springsteen's album "Nebraska" does a good job of delving into the hopes, dreams, and the struggles of being human - the lyrics, guitar, harmonica and his comfortable voice resonated with my soul during a couple phases of my life.

We can look at life good or we can look at life bad.  Suffering breaks some people yet leads others to trust in God and His Word for their past, present and future.  I hope that the only church in town will be a place of joy and hope in the midst of suffering.  Their countenances and talk would speak of overflowing thankfulness for journeying though a life in Christ.   I hope we wouldn't find people commiserating in their futility - hoping for a mansion on a hill for fulfillment.

Just for today...

"If a man happens to find himself, he has a mansion which he can inhabit with dignity all the days of his life."  James Michener

"When a man of good-will is troubled or tempted or afflicted with evil thoughts, then he can better understand how great a need he has of faith in God."  Thomas à Kempis

April 13th - Renewal

The story...

The epic human story is about creation, curse, toil, patience, love, mercy, grace, warnings, repentance, relenting, judgment, and renewal.   Retelling the story must include the Author and Creator - "That than Which There is No Greater."  It seems that the question of the fairness of reality must be paired with the question as to whether God's thoughts can be our thoughts - they can't.

The Old Testament and New Testament speak of renewal.  The renewal of all things.  There will be an all knowing, loving, ruler who will administer perfect justice.  All people offered the safe and blessed hope of renewal.

Spring is a time that shouts renewal.  The annual growth plan awaits the earth's tilt on it's axis so that the sun shines more on our hemisphere - warms us up.  New life and beauty will surely "pop"- renewal!

The only church in town will have parts of the Easter renewal message preached frequently.   All men will hear about our renewal in Christ - freedom from the bondage of self rule and condemnation.  Then they might walk peacefully and joyfully among the tulips - no need to tip toe.  Even the inevitable sufferings of life will bring them closer to their Savior and Redeemer.  Praise God for springtime and renewal.

Just for today...

"Whether I accept or turn down a request, agree or disagree with someone's point of view, I can still treat the other person with respect and courtesy.  I can say, 'No,' as gently an lovingly as I can say, 'Yes'."  Courage to Change (p. 104)

"I always acted on my anxiety, and I was forever reacting.  Most times my reactions came in the form of blaming, running, or freezing.  When I blamed others, I didn't have to feel my deep sense of shame."  Hope for Today (p. 104)

"Keep in mind that we can live only in the present and that all the rest of life is either past or uncertain." One Day at a Time (p. 104)

March 19th - Annotating Your Story

The story...

As a teacher, I encouraged students to write in the margins of their textbooks.  "Write your key 'learnings' in your own words . . . Internalize what you've learned . . . Write actionable statements . . . Record what you're taking away from this life investment."  Sadly many students were hesitant to write in their book.  Why?  Some believed that their thoughts were inferior to the authors.  Some were told not to deface library books.  Some wanted to resell the book and receive more money for a "like new" book.  Some never learned the annotating process for more effectively studying, learning, and applying.

A guy I respected, told me that it saddened him that people attended church "sermons" and didn't record what was important to them.  I agreed and decided to record my key points on a spiral bound set of notecards each week - I also included a sketch that reminded me of my key point(s).  This continued for a few years - it certainly helped me engage and review what I received.  I especially appreciated the sketches.  Then, a pastor was leaving the church and I was asked to collect a dozen of these cards that I might share with the pastor as a bit of memorabilia.  I was surprised that none of my note cards were appropriate for sharing with the community.  They meant much to me but would clearly be misconstrued by some church members.

My son's church thoughts on 3/03/96

The only church in town would provide the opportunity for people to walk side-by-side within the will of God.  This would include intentional learning and personal growth activities with the freedom to choose.  What joy to think of my son imagining that great afternoon when he'd be free from the church building and able to get out there and live - I'm glad I surrendered my note pad to him that day.

Just for today...

"I will make this day a happy one, for I alone can determine what kind of day it will be." One Day at a Time (p. 79)

"I don't know what is best for others because I don't know the lessons that God is offering them . . . Nine times out of ten, I am focusing on someone else to avoid looking at something in my own life."  Courage to Change (p. 79)

March 13th - Our stories

The story...

Jesus taught through parables to both subtly teach and deliver tough messages indirectly.  I remember stories and love to share them - yes, I am a "story teller." I ponder stories that don't make sense to me. Movies with poor or unreasonable story lines . . . "ugh." 

Sometimes life experiences don't make sense, the related thoughts linger on until I reach some sort of conclusion.  Hours later I find myself saying: "That's what they were trying to tell me!"   I must miss most of the messages that I was intended to receive - story helps.

A friend and I watched almost all of the Seinfeld TV series episodes.  Each of the episodes were stories about common events with humorous way of looking at them.  When bringing a gift to an event, my friend will often say: "who is going to carry in the 'big salad'?"  We laugh when remembering the uncomfortable situation that the Seinfeld story embedded in our minds.  These common stories seem to help us communicate more quickly and succinctly as friends do.  I expect that friends share a common set of life stories that contain much of the history and meaning of their relationship.  It'd be more difficult to express yourself to another person without these common reference points.

Commonly understood stories can set the groundwork for sharing, more precisely and accurately, bigger or more complex ideas.  These bigger ideas are related to bigger questions that people like me have a hard time ignoring or accepting simple solution{s) to the questions they beg.

The only church in town would have stories from: scripture, the full-group, the sub-group, and the individual members too. This fuller set of stories help make more sense of life, God, people, and me too.  I'm thankful that I've attended the same church for a long period of time.  Yes, the only church in town would have long-term relationships.  No more church splits or church hopping?

Just for today...

"I came to see how, as a child, I had played a role in creating the dynamics of my family. Not knowing how to manage uncomfortable feelings, I tried to stuff them deep down inside, but they didn't go away. Instead, they led me to behave in ways that perpetuated the feelings."  Hope for Today (p. 73)

February 19th - But he doesn't know the territory

The story...

PBS television shows, shot in olde England as the backdrop, are compelling for me.  The language, vernacular, customs, figures of speech, and even the side of the car with the steering wheel are different yet similar to what I'm used to. I think I'd feel comfortable there but attentive and curious about the differences.  It'd be great to to tour London and even slog through those really-old hiking trails west of London for a week or so.  I'm told those old trails pass through castles, Roman ruins, and farmer's fields too.  I'm learning about the territory yet I don't even claim to know the territory.  Even if I complete a trip, I won't know the territory as well as someone who actually lives their life out there.  The idea reminds me of a song from the 1962 film "The Music Man" that was set in River City, Iowa - "but he doesn't know the territory."  

The Music Man - 1962

Professor Harold Hill is the lead character who sells the small town on the idea of the "think" system for playing musical instruments. He's a flim-flam man that bilks the town out of money for new band instruments and uniforms - he had no ability to teach them to play them.  He teaches them to hum the "Minuet in G" as part of a thinking process that will supposedly lead them to play their shiny instruments without instruction.  In reality, he's stalling until he receives the money and jumps on the train out of town.  The librarian is the only person in town who actually understands music.  She's torn between the reality of the flim-flam man and the wonderful imagined reality that the town's bought into - they're happier and more hopeful following the charlatan.  She also falls in love with both the vision and the man too - to err is human.

How will the only church in town escape the trap of trusting in the charismatic pastor rather than our God which the text they'll own is all about?  To be merely satisfied with knowing about while remaining deceived within a mutually accepted and self-centered condition.  The Word of God speaks of the reality, in Christ, that bears genuine God-given fruit.  Once heard, believed, and experienced; they'll be tapped into the vine that produces the kind of fruit that the whole community will be blessed through.  Why would a man trust man rather than his Creator?

Just for today...

"None of us sees the world as it is but as we are, as our frame of reference, or maps, define the territory."  Stephen Covey

"The only way to release ourselves from the hold of those dark demons is to break the isolation and bring them into the light by sharing with others who understand."  Hope for Today (p. 50)

January 14th - The palette of my psyche focused on the object of my faith...

The story...

The idea for this blog, written for 365 consecutive days, occurred about one year ago today. It "popped" into my psyche as I was driving to church with the woman whom I love.  It also occurred to me that I could do this . . . yes, me.  Writing a chunk of my life story, making sense of it, applying good life principles and practices, and then discussing how they might work their way out within a hypothetical "only church in town." "I've benefited greatly from daily readers. This is a really good idea.  I think I'll recommend this for..."  

Yes, an idea had fully developed into a worthy life-giving and life-altering whole thing within the palette of my psyche.  It appeared to be helpful for both me and those within my circle of concern.  I had the resources and the capability to carry it out - it was clearly doable.  Yet, 365 consecutive days was too much to hope for - surely I would run out of story and find myself staring at a blank screen.  I'm so thankful that I shared my idea with the close friend, who I originally thought might be capable of working out this undertaking, and he encouraged me to get started.  Then, I shared the idea with a group of supporting guys, who I regularly met with, and they also encouraged me to work out this worthy endeavor into reality.  So, I took the first step and began my journey.  I'm so... thankful that my friends encouraged me to make the decision to move forward and take the first step.

Artist's Palette (U.S. National Park Service)

Wow, I wonder what will make its way into these final 17 blog pages?  What if I can't think of something interesting?  What if ...?   Yes, I plan to replace all these "what ifs" that I might conjure up with  "even ifs."   It does take faith to live out that good life that we long for.  Yet, the object of our faith is an important part of our role within this epic story of life that we all share in.

The only church in town will share how God provided a way for His creatures to become right with Himself - our most holy, righteous and loving Father.  Christ, and His great atoning sacrificial work, will be the object of their faith  And, the grace that each receives will be worked out together within each of their pilgrimages toward that celestial city.  

Just for today...

"By letting go of this battle we were sure to lose, we became free." Courage to Change (p. 14)

"If I was hurtful, and I make excuses to myself for what I did, I am building a second wall between me and the person I injured. Let me tear the first wall down by being honest and honestly acknowledging my fault."  One Day at a Time (p. 14)

December 28th - Be okay living in reality

The story...

Oh, if I could've been more  kind to both me and to others too - more content with what I had and appreciative of what I received.  Yet, none of those years were wasted.  They're all part of who I am.  I'm thankful for each and every one - they were a gift.

From Caroline Kennedy

The bible says that He became flesh and lived a life out on this earth within a human experience as the Son of Man.  His human experience is important to both God and to us too.  Might all of our human experiences have eternal value?  I expect so . . .  they're certainly important to me as I type.

How about being a part of the only church in your town already?  What a great place to meet whilst praising and worshiping our Creator together.  Relationships found there help complete us, contribute to the value of each day, and builds towards a worthy aim.

Just for today...

"We intend to be kind and tolerant, but some uncontrollable impulse changes our attitude into something we later find ourselves regretting. We intend to accomplish so much, but unless we start out with a realistic estimate of what we are capable of doing, we fall far short of our expectations."  One Day at a Time (p. 363)

December 27th - Shared stories

The story...

By taking the time to care and listen, I heard what it was like to be flogged as punishment for violating a law by entering a middle-east country with a 3.4 oz. bottle of alcohol.  Men have told me what it's like to worship the sun, Mohammad, Buddha, and their Messiah in many different ways.  People who worship God charismatically have always been interesting to hear out when they felt less guarded and more trusting.  A man shared what it was like to only remember clearly what'd happened about 60 years ago or before.  A 30-year-old woman explained what it was like to be an illegal immigrant from Russia while we recreated on a boat in Texas - they're required to read classic literature in Russian high schools.  A landlord explained what it was like to be free from the obligations of the Lutheran church in Duluth, MN - she had a hard time believing that I chose to go church when no one would know the difference.  A woman shared how it felt to be excommunicated from her church in Tennessee for cutting her hair.  Many older people have described how their more honest assessment of their self and humble worship and trusting in God's provision have brought contentment and peace in situations that were unimaginable to me.  A Buddhist professor explained how he valued the contentment afforded by not perceiving situations as either good or bad.  All of these conversations are precious to me and are part of the width, length and height of my story too.

What a joy to be able to seek to understand another person in conversation.  To be willing to listen to and understand a part of how their life worked out - what they value too.  I especially appreciate listening to people who are significantly different from me.  As I ponder those that I remember, I'm so thankful for each one - I can't imagine giving up what I've learned from other lives.  People's shared experiences and hearts are such a joy to me - truly precious.  It saddens me to hear of people who remain isolated from others and seek to find contentment through a relationship with a pet.

The only church in town will value the variety of lives that makes up their congregation as they worship in a common faith.  I love my church family and appreciate all who came before me, traveled with me, and those who I will interact with in the days I have left.  I wonder how many more breaths I will be given traveling on this spinning orb?

Just for today...

"...no one person's view is totally complete . . . I can be grateful for the chance to see that there are countless ways to looking at life . . . I use to take disagreements personally. One of us had to be wrong, and my position had to be accepted! . . . I don't have to invalidate anyone else's views in order to validate my own . . . Today I will respect someone's right to think differently."  Courage to Change (p. 362)

November 19th - If I practice not sharing opinions - will I replace them with a listening ear?

The story...

My career may have chose me - I'd practiced the habits, and developed the personality, to explain my perspective and win agreement.  My work practices, tools, and change management success carried over into other areas of my life too.  I became more: illustrative; flamboyant in my story telling; better at painting mental images to be commonly understood; succinct in posing the right question(s); and consistent in behaving according to my expected behavior.  Sometimes, the desired perspectives were those of the organization that I was part of and not necessarily my own.

The burden of working out my life, wearing different hats, took its toll.  The incongruity between my inner-man and the roles that I accepted was bothersome - dissatisfaction with parts of life.  My life was not characterized as peaceful - more like a never ending quest to model good behavior - be the best that I could be - measure up. So, I planned the long and arduous process of earning my PhD - "then life would be great."  It was a good change worked out for over 10 years and experienced for about 10 years.  I learned and grew much through my studies, research, dialog, enlarged mental models, building onto and protecting my share of the body of knowledge, teaching, and mentoring.  Yet, my inner-man needed something more.

A period of brokenness helped me wake up and see my strife and struggles more clearly - I needed help.  I accepted an offer for help and joined others who were also more-honestly becoming better people.  The lessons learned and applied were wonderful - I truly love all those people that I grew with.  My life became more congruent, peaceful, restful, thankful and engaging.

The only church in town will be a place where you will hear about a better way to be.  You will, meet those who are growing in a similar way and stage of life.  Over time, a few of those people may even become best friends who you can openly and honestly grow with.  Friends like that aren't required to live good a good life yet I wouldn't give 'em up without a fight.  True, they must be held loosely or it likely isn't true friendship.  Honestly seeking to understand, before being understood, is a good first step toward developing those good friendships.

Just for today...

Do you want to fix them for your own personal comfort or honestly for them?

If you wouldn't want somebody to say "it" to you then don't say "it" to anyone else.

November 18th - "My life was mostly good - I'm thankful for that."

The story...

A friend of mine met my mother in her independent-living home on Tuesday.  I introduced him to her and they settled down to one-hour conversation about her life past and present - him in a chair and her laying comfortably in bed.  It was a great joy listening to my mother describe her life - mostly good but there was bad stuff too.  She shared her hope that her kids, grand kids, and great-grand kids would go to church.  Her greatest pain was the loss of her husband in 2011 - she described how she missed him every day.  They lived a good life and that made her happy.  The surprises and joys, in her current life, were centered around the different people that are caring for her and meeting her needs.  "I never was around people like that, I really like them and some of them feel like friends."  That was her unexpected joy - she thinks that relationships like these might be why she lived so long.

The only church in town will ideally be like that independent-living home.  There will be some paid staff doing their jobs yet most of the caring and loving will be shared between each other.  People living out their life and faith in God's Word together.  The love my mother felt at the independent-living center surprised me every time I visited.  What if you spent more time with the folks in a church?  You might be surprised at the love you witness, receive and seem to offer to others.  Many of us are clunky and different so it might appear in unexpected and surprising ways.  Love experienced is worth it.

Just for today...

"If I can see nothing but my troubles, I am seeing with limited vision. Dwelling on these troubles allows them to control me. Of course I need to do whatever foot-work is required, but I also need to learn to let go."  Courage to Change (p. 323)

"When I'm uncommunicative or dishonest in my interactions, I set myself apart and feel rejected. Conversely, open, truthful communication nurtures feelings of trust and encourages me to participate fully in life. However, as I begin to change my old habits, fear of rejection sometimes tempts me to respond in old ways."  Hope for Today (p. 323)

November 14th - My survival skills

The story...

Most of us developed survival skills to make it through K-12 - our elementary, junior, and high school years. High school was when I was expected to learn and experience what I needed to be a full-functioning member of society.  The graduation speech said that we had limitless potential within the United States of America.  What did I do over those 13 years?

• Learned to obey the teacher, complete assignments, and value good grades.
• Progressed through boy scouts to the rank of "Life Scout."
• Fulfilled the job requirements of a paper delivery boy for 4 yrs. - wasn't motivated to sell new subscriptions but faithfully delivered the papers and collected the money.
• Built a large wooden tool box, smashed my thumb with a hammer, sewed my own reversible vest, and cooked potato soup.in junior-high shop class.  They required the boys to take home-economics for two months during 8th grade.
• Completed drivers education and was awarded my drivers license.
• Fulfilled the requirements of a drug store general worker and delivery boy for 2 yrs.  Crashed their cars several times.
• Developed friends - mostly from band and work experiences.
• Completed all the math classless offered and survived the English classes.
• Fell in love multiple times yet didn't experience the boy-girl friend closeness that I hoped for.
  
  

My High School

Who was I at that graduation ceremony?

• Accepted Christ as my Savior at eight.
• Learned a work ethic and financial skills with the money I earned.
• Distanced myself from the church - worked every other Sunday.
• Became a story-teller to engage in group conversation.
• Looked for love where I thought it might be found - love was elusive.
• Interacted socially yet never really felt like I fit in.
• Accepted at a state college - to be an engineer.  There I expected to start over - to be somebody.
• Learned survival skills - boundaries, armor, and habits.

The only church in town is a place where you can learn the reality of being truly okay.  Okay with God, you, and your neighbors too.  I was so thankful, in 1980, when Steve and Marlene said to me:  "We would like you to go to church with us - please come."

Just for today...

"I was powerless over my childhood. The survival skills that I developed made my adult life unmanageable."  Hope for Today (p. 319)

"It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery."  Galatians 5:1 (NASB)

October 29th - Making the most of life

The story...

I/m so thankful that I read the quote from Peter Marshall - it was simple, wise, and seems true according to my own life experiences.  His quote makes me smile today.  So, I investigated who this Peter was.  His story was a surprising story of doing, being, trusting, walking by faith, and engaging in life.  His was a good story yet not exceptionally long.

I purchased his life story, "A Man Called Peter," that was written lovingly by his wife, Catherine Marshall, in 1951.  It's been a joyful life story to read, chunk by chunk, savoring it and not wanting it to end.  I'm taking my time with it - the book lays next to my bed.

Peter Marshall

A truly good man...

The only church in town will have wonderfully unique and interesting people congregating together.  There you can live out your gift of life together - in community.  It will be a story that you can enjoy chunk by chunk - not wanting it to end yet knowing that it will according to God's will.  There you can imagine more clearly the life that Peter Marshall is now living in Christ - I can only imagine.  His story won't end because his life is hidden in Christ.

Just for today...

"...The most important person to gain love and respect from is myself."  Courage to be Me (p. 137)

"All our resolves and decisions are made in a mood or frame of mind which is certain to change."  Marcel Proust

"Lord, when we are wrong, make us willing to change. And when we are right, make us easy to live with."  Peter Marshall

October 8th - Our limited vantage point

The story.,,

My best friend and I were sitting behind home plate at our son's baseball game.  The female umpire was making some questionable calls - I made a few critiques to my friend that I didn't mean for the umpire to hear.  Then the big slide occurred at home plate.  Coaches from both teams thought they had the better vantage point and argued for their positions.  People were either right or wrong and nobody wanted to be wrong.  The umpire began to cry...

I knew both of the coaches for the other team - I was surprised to hear how differently they perceived the same situation.  It was like we saw something different at home plate - our experiences and conclusions were different too.  

Later, the baseball organization held a meeting to review the altercation(s).  I assume that witnesses told them what they perceived to have happened - maybe the umpire and coaches were provided an opportunity to tell "their side of the story."  They decided that my son's coach was no longer allowed to coach in the league - he made the umpire cry.

Do we have a comprehensive view or vantage over any situation that we participate in or witness?  Our perspectives are based on how we view life, our past experiences, our mind, our personality, our perspectives, our feelings, the power of God worked out,  the need to agree with or please other people . . . the list is endless.

The only church in town will study and trust the book where God's perspective of us and history is revealed.  God's Word says that there is a spiritual reality in life's situations.  King David described what he perceived to be God's work in delivering him from his enemies in Psalm 18 - David was writing about the most important reality that was unobserved by most of the scene's participants.  David paints a picture, in song, of what was actually going on.  Yes, I hope you find out more of what is "really going on" within the only church in town.

Just for today...

"I see that miracles frequently touch my life. Maybe they always have, but I didn't see them."  Courage to Change (p. 282)

"We may magnify disagreements about money for instance; we expand minor slights into huge grievances. Without realizing it, we're looking for trouble and are ready to fasten on little things that we could easily pass over if we really wanted our own peace of mind."  One Day at a Time (p. 282)