April 10th - Let 'em be and grow

The story...

My daughter was about one-year old.  She's standing beneath our kitchen table and just hit her head as she stood up.  She cried and seemed to be communicating "save me."  We didn't know much about parenting skills but we did learn that we should let'em do it by themselves when they could.  She cried and hit her head again - more tears.  "This hurts, should we save her?"  Together, we waited and resisted the urge to interfere.  She crawled out from under the table and was nurtured by mom.  We all learned stuff that day.

When do our good intentions interfere with the other person's growth?  We don't know what's best for another person or what the will of God is for their lives - why act as though we do?  Likely, we're interfering when they could, safely, do it on their own.  It does seem rational to continually relax the boundaries as teenagers become adults. 

In the only church in town, I'd hope that teenagers would become fully functioning independent adults working out their own personal relationships, rightly related to God, alongside others.  Ideally, they'd advance from independence to a sense of interdependence within community.  

Just for today...

"Other people's expectations are not my responsibility unless I have helped to create them.  I can remind myself that conflict is part of life."  Courage to Change (p. 101)

"It is far easier to be honest with other people than with myself.  All of us are hampered to some degree by our need to justify our actions and words."  One Day at a Time (p. 101)

"Ooh that hurts; Try it again - Wish it's different; I can't win."
"Give up trying; Do the true - Life in reality; Ain't so blue."   Am I a Poet?

April 9th: Embarrassed and Guarded

The story...

We were enjoying a vacation in the Florida Keys - seated at a table about twenty feet in front of the mic.  It's a comedy club and the "comedian" was taking "stinging" jabs at targeted people in the crowd.  I leaned over to my best friend and said "I can't believe that I'm a fully-capable adult yet I don't feel safe enough to get up from this chair and walk to that men's room."  What did I fear?   This was far away from home and I'd likely never see any of these people again.  The guy was clearly acting out his role as the comedian.  What messages did I fear he might send?  

The vacation scene

I must have a long list of personal messages that I don't want to hear.  And, I suppose there're many more "funny" critiques that might embarrass me.  Yet, the degree that I might be embarrassed seems to negatively correlate with the degree that I fell okay about myself - my condition.  For me, my condition is best when I am bearing fruit, e.g.: actually being kind, consistently praying/meditating, and walking humbly/honestly with God in Christ.   However, even in my best condition, as a fellow human, I can be hurt by others.  Some of my sharpest stings are self critiques.  Therefore, I find myself relying on my old armor for protection - that guardedness that keeps us more distant, yet protected, from others. 

How might the only church in town be more of a "No Armor Needed" zone?  I've witnessed armor-free zones within community; so, I hope that most people would find small groups where they feel more accepted and loved just as they are.  The full-church community will be significantly safer than my comedy club experience; yet regretfully, I expect that people will still need some type of armor just to get along - we're all works in progress.

Just for today...

"I take into account how affected I am by my past when I meet people who seem difficult, and I try to give them a break." Hope for Today (p. 100)

"The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them."  Courage to Change (p. 100)

"Painful experiences come from the thorns that wound us; they make us forget they also have roses." One Day at a Time (p. 100)

"They're the same; I'm different - That's why; I'm alone."
"Safely alone; Wilting away - Rightly positioned; Mostly wrong."
"He's great; I'm not - I'm in Him; We're powerful."    Am I a Poet?

April 2nd - What's going on?

The story...

It's the summer of 1977 and I'm working on a sled gang for the Burlington Northern railroad - summer job.  Sled gangs replaced old railroad ties with new ties - new ones are covered with thick-black creosote.  The car pooling drive was long, the creosote burned my skin, and the work was fatiguing.  I experienced back-muscle spasms and I drank so much water that I used my hard hat as a cup.  Yet, it paid over $6/hr.

Much of the job was "high spiking."  There was a machine that ran on the tracks that automatically drove the spikes; but, it didn't always work.  So, young guys like me drove in some of the spikes with a maul.  As you can see in the picture, the spike head is real close to the rail.  If, or when, you hit the rail there's a loud ding.  All the gang hears it and the foreman yells at you.  Why?  Every train car that rides over that flat spot is going to feel that bump until they replace the rail.  I remember hitting the rail a bit more than most people and the foreman's yell stung.

So, one day I was sitting by myself taking a break.  The dreaded foreman came over and sat down next to me.  He says: "Have you ever drank beer out of a straw?"  I couldn't believe that he was threatening me like that.  Then he followed that line up with: "I've had to learn how to since I broke my jaw when I got hit by the backswing of a maul.  My jaw's wired shut."  So, for weeks I thought that the foreman was snarling at me every time he attempted to talk with me.  In reality, his jaw was wired shut and I mistook his helpful attempts as personal attacks.  My number of rail hits dropped significantly after that welcomed conversation. 

I hope that people within the only church in town will be less guarded.  Hopefully, most of the people would be trusting God more than "self" and be a bit less guarded too.  They'd be capable of taking their eyes off themselves with a better understanding of what's actually going on.

Just for today...

"As I become less self-centered, I will have stronger defenses against being hurt by slights and injustices. Minor crises will not loom large because I will not allow myself to magnify them out of proportion to their importance."  One Day at a Time (p. 93)

"I think I've developed an understanding of God that I don't fully understand."  As We Understood... (p. 227)

"God's big; I'm small - Anxiety flees; Peace lives."   Am I a Poet?

April 1st - The Critic

The story...

What's true about that acute or overt criticism that I receive?  A wise person told me that criticism often has an element of truth in it - the wise man values criticism for what he might discover.  The "feedback" may be a truth, or perception, that we're blind to, ignored, or minimized.  Honest introspection can discover fine pearls.  The pearl may be hidden and require you to pry open the shell, take it out, assess the value, and then decide what to do with it.

It's likely harder for a person, who stores deep-felt emotions such as shame and guilt, to truly listen.  It's easier to criticize the message sender and discredit the message than humbly consider it's validity.  

I wish I'd never criticized a preacher - especially in front of my children.  Rather, I wish I'd have developed closer relationships with them so that we both might've grown together - even through infrequent constructive criticism.

I expect the only church in town would have  a preacher and leaders who model wise behavior.  For me, being open to receiving criticism is part of continual growth in both me and my relationships too - fine pearls. 

Just for today...

"The contented, well adjusted person has no need to look for flaws in others . . . criticism has the effect of pushing love right out of the picture. This in turn, leads us to feeling sorry for ourselves because people do not respond to us as we would like them to."  One Day at a Time (p. 92)

"Dig here; Map speaks - Crusty rock; Hidden gem."   Am I a Poet?

March 31st - Quit stalling - trash it already

The story...

It's 1981 and I'm living in Knoxville, TN.  My new best friend's fiancé is visiting next weekend.  He's hanging out in my apartment and says to me:  "I might as well do it now rather than wait until she does."  He walks over to my record collection and tosses five or six of them in a pile in the middle of the floor - I groaned with each potential loss.  Yet, my most pain was felt with the AC/DC album Back in Black.  My soul resonated with those three chords in...  Yes, I agreed that he was right and I soon took the long-hard walk to the dumpster.  His fiancé did visit that weekend; yes, I loved her too.   Yes, she definitely would've thrown those albums away.  I would've been powerless to stop her.  Yet, I'm glad that my good friend left the trashing process to me.

I still think that that Back in Black was the best rock and roll album ever written.  Just three guitar chords: E, D and A.  Does my soul resonate and wake up with those songs?  Yes!  Are, they good for my right and humble walk with God in Christ?  No!  Have I been tempted to listen to that music since?  Yes!  Have I always resisted the urge?  Mostly...  My old-nature's still there, it's been redeemed by the blood of Christ yet still wants to be in control and master my life - that's just the way I am.

Record demolition in Comiskey Park on July 12, 1979

How and when might we best perform our spiritual and life inventory?   We know how hard it is to sort, trash and rearrange stuff that fills up our garages, basements and attics.  For me, the deleting of some of the "trash" that my soul likes, wants, and longs for has been an important part of my personal growth and faith walk.  The "itches" seem to linger if I routinely scratch them.  We take out the regular trash each day but the stuff we've hung onto for too long, that do bring us some kind of comfort, requires something more - surgery.  My current "condition" is vastly superior to my old man's natural "condition."  I ain't going back and will not bring that crap with me any further.

My friend and his wife are wonderful people who've continued a faithful walk within the good state of Ohio.  Ohio is a better place with their family's engagement.  I hope that visitors to the only church in town will find families like theirs to walk alongside with.

Just for today...

"We learn to face the world as it really is and to take responsibility for our actions. We deal with our feelings and share honestly about our experiences. We learn about ourselves and nurture our spiritual growth and our physical and metal well-being.  We become responsible adults."  Courage to Change (p. 91)

"Be good to yourself."  One Day at a Time (p. 91)

"Stuffed shelves; Emit darkness - New light; Barely seen."   Am I a Poet?

March 27th - Retribution

The story...

I was living in my college dorm room with my 10-gallon aquarium.  I'd cared for my ten neon tetras for three quarters - everybody knew how much I liked them.  One day, I unlocked my door, walked over to my aquarium, and saw only two big fish that weren't my Neons.  "These are his fish.  This must be a prank.  He must have switched the fish between our tanks as a joke."   I ran down the hallway and pounded on his door.  "WHERE ARE MY FISH?" He felt my anger, we went to see the tank site together - he admitted that he put his fish in my aquarium while he was cleaning his.  "I'm sorry."  

What happened within the next five minutes embarrasses me now.  I reacted quickly and took both of the fish out of the aquarium and chopped them into pieces to expose my ten dead fish.  I had my retribution yet my friend and I were both left with negative feelings and emotions.  There was resolution yet my conscience said "you done wrong."

My 3-year old Neon

Is there a place for retribution within the only church in town?  There'll be situations where people will be justified for taking retribution.  I wish I'd forgiven my friend for his honest, yet unthinking, act.  Might I've shown mercy to those two simple fish that were just doing what they were created to do?   My character in this epic story of life might've been a tad better?  How does a person actually become better?

Just for today...

"I will guard against looking for flaws in others; I will try to see what is good in them." One Day at a Time (p. 87)

"It takes a great deal of effort for me to extend compassion to certain people . . . It means letting go of resentments, resulting from unrealistic expectations."  Hope for Today (p. 87)

"Unexpected happens; Blame flows - Love responds; We grow."   Am I a Poet?

March 26th - Embrace Variation

The story...

Within this world there're random variables - like the size of an egg, the length of the hairs on your head, the amount of rain in April, or the chances you'll get all green stop lights on the drive to work.  Environments, materials, people and processes are continuously varying.  The same process setup, and efforts to perform the same way, result in different outcomes - variation.  Many differences are obvious yet some require you to look more closely.  The need to manage and control this type of variation is why manufacturing companies have "Quality" jobs.

Calipers: 0.001" precision

Once upon a time, I was a quality professional - one of the guys responsible for managing and controlling variation.  On a particular sunny spring day, I attended a seminar, in an old house, away from the "plant."  I still remember the instructor introducing Larry Wall's Harvard Law.  The law states: "Under controlled conditions of light, temperature, humidity, and nutrition, the organism will do as it damn well pleases."  The futility of my struggles to control our processes, beyond what they were capable of, was exposed!  This was a key learning for me to embrace.  I expect I've retold that internalized learning 100's of times.

The same can be said for the only church in town.  People vary day-to-day, year-to-year, and season to season.  The community, town, county, state, nation, and global environments are always changing.  Special causes of variation occur in the church regularly.  Your new youth group leader may love to mountain climb and the youth learn to work out their faith in Appalachia.  Leadership may have different view points on non-essential doctrines; yet, they love, respect and grow together.  Two families from a different culture join your church and the people grow in different ways.  Trying to stay the same and control variation will likely just wear you out and frustrate others.  Change is going to happen - why not embrace the reality of change?

Thank God that His Word does not change.  His promises are real, trustworthy and the best by definition.  Best of all, you can count on Him to keep His promises.  

Just for today...

"If I'm unwilling to perform a task badly, I can't expect to make progress toward learning to do it well."  Courage to Change (p. 86)

"Refraining from advice-giving or criticizing creates an accepting and respectful environment in which each member is truly heard and valued.  Hope for Today (p. 86)

"Progress begins when we stop trying to control the uncontrollable and when we go on to correct what we have the right to change."  One Day at a Time (p. 86)

"It changed; Cuz why? - Just is; We're good."   Am I a Poet?

March 25th - Friend Watch

The story...

I have a friend who closely observes my behavior.  They challenge me to set mental and physical health goals and track my progress to goal too.  They offer me encouraging reminders to keep me moving towards where I want to go.  Occasionally, they alert me to correlations between my good behaviors and other good life outcomes like better sleep and greater aerobic capacity.  They've even warned me of potentially life threatening risks such as a fall or heart rhythm abnormality.  And, they do all of this with words that express caring and kindness.  You likely guessed, from the picture, that I'm talking about my Apple-Watch friend.  We've been good friends for years - meet my good friend:

I was awarded for swimming longer and faster

Human friends have flaws, aren't always focused on me, are less predictable, and are free to choose.  I'm glad my friends are free; yet, I'm not about to give up my Apple Watch.  Like the Apple watch, I hope that the people in the only church in town would be honest with me, point out my lifestyle risks, remind me of my commitments, and speak to me kindly, gently, patiently, and truthfully.  That sounds like a kind of best friend, who you might grow with and walk alongside towards your common life goal(s).

Just for today...

"I have a primary responsibility for myself: to make myself into the best person I can possibly be.  Then, and only then, will I have something worthwhile to share."  Courage to Change (p. 85)

"A grim and furious silence can be more crushing and wounding than harsh words.  Such a silence is motivated by the desire to punish." One Day at a Time (p. 85)

"Far away; Hoped for - Encouraging look; Joy returns."   Am I a Poet?

March 24th - That Snowball - Old Scars

The story...

In my late twenties, I was asked to serve as a middle-school youth leader.  It was initially uncomfortable as you might expect.  Yet, playing, laughing, teaching key truths in story, attending a youth-leader seminar, leading songs with guitar, traveling together, sharing life actualities, suffering together, encouraging, praising, and seeing growth, were all real good.  Then an event happened that triggered emotions that must've been buried deep down inside me.

The situation: it's winter, there's snow outside, and we'd just finished our youth group events for the night.  The kids are running and playing inside.  One boy steps outside, makes a snowball, and throws it at a friend whose running away inside the church.  Frustrated, I was left to scoop up the snow.  At the same time, I look up and see an Elder walk out of a bible-study room.  He stops and stares at both me and the snowball splat - he wore a look of disgust.

Why does this scene trigger emotions from me even now as I recall it.  This happened more than 35 years ago!  Thank goodness I didn't react quickly to that leering look.  I finished cleaning up the mess and stored my pent-up emotions.  The Elder was a good man and I still think of him with respect.  So, was my primary cause frustration, authority figures, the youth leader role, lack of respect shown to me as the leader, unwanted discipline I received long ago, my questioning the worthiness of my service, or simply being rejected by the group?  I don't know the cause.  It may've been all or some combination; yet, it seems that an emotional wound was exposed in this critical event.  I likely still have a small scar.

The only church in town is going to be filled with wounded people who cover up their scars.  Comfort and hope is available as they learn to love and receive love.  This story highlights the need to work out the greatest and second greatest commandments - love the Lord your God with all your heart soul and mind.  And, love your neighbor as yourself.  Yes, that means loving yourself too - redeemed in Christ.

Just for today...

"Courage is fear that has said its prayers." One Day at a Time (p. 84)

"I searched my past to see how this character defect had helped me to survive the pain and chaos of growing up in . . . Listing the benefits of the defect made it easier to see why it had become such a big part of me.  It also helped me see how the flaw was just a positive attribute run amok."  Hope for Today (p. 84)

"Dad's okay; I'm not - I'll get better; Still not."   Am I a Poet?

March 22nd - NOW

The story...

When a person attempts to communicate to me in a sentence, I've to remember the first words in order to make sense of the whole thought.  If short-term memory lasts about 15 to 30 seconds, and occurs in a different part of our brain than long-term memory; then, we might say that the "present" occurs within 30-second time intervals.  

Hard to see NOW on a clock

We can avoid living in the present by dwelling on the past or future.  And, we can even avoid the present message inputs and guess what other people are saying based on pre-conceived ideas about who they are or what we want to be true.  Yes, we know that we all can avoid the reality of the present or the NOW.

Why do we choose not to live in the reality of the present, the NOW?  Do we need to be taught how? Maybe it seems boring because we haven't tuned into the reality station and are hearing mostly static.

It seems reasonable to argue that we receive inputs from: our five senses, our feelings, our emotions, our memories, our mind, our hopes, our spirit, and the Spirit of God.  We meet God in the present too and work out actual relationship in the NOW.  Can we be satisfied with merely reading about our potential relationship with God or recalling past times when our relationship seemed to be more meaningful?

The only church in town would be a "safe" place where people would want to be engaged.  They'd witness the value of living in the present reality as opposed to an imagined one that might seem more protective.  They'd witness the Spirit of God in their own inner-person and sense Him working in others too.

Just for today...

"I will not concern myself about tomorrow until it becomes my today.  The better I use today, the more likely it is that tomorrow will be bright." One Day at a Time (p. 82)

"There is an innocence within me that already knows how to trust God, to cherish life while holding it lightly, to live fully and simply in the present moment."  Courage to Change (p.82)

"A bird chirps; A feeling felt - Memories forgotten; Tomorrow ain't here."
"Reality's true; Known or not - He's here now; Abide and live."   Am I a Poet?

March 19th - Annotating Your Story

The story...

As a teacher, I encouraged students to write in the margins of their textbooks.  "Write your key 'learnings' in your own words . . . Internalize what you've learned . . . Write actionable statements . . . Record what you're taking away from this life investment."  Sadly many students were hesitant to write in their book.  Why?  Some believed that their thoughts were inferior to the authors.  Some were told not to deface library books.  Some wanted to resell the book and receive more money for "like new" condition.  Some never learned the annotating process for more effectively studying, retaining, learning, and applying.

A guy I respected, told me that it saddened him that people attended church "sermons" and didn't record the important.  I agreed and decided to record my key points on a spiral bound set of notecards each week - I also included a "key point(s)" sketch.  For a few years, it helped me engage and make more sense of what I received - the sketches helped.  Then, a pastor was leaving the church and I was asked to collect a dozen of these cards to share with the pastor as memorabilia.  I was surprised that none of my note cards were appropriate for sharing with the community.  They meant much to me but would likely be misconstrued by others.

My son's church thoughts on 3/03/96

What joy to think of my son imagining that great afternoon when he'd be free from the church building and able to get out there and live - I'm glad I surrendered my note pad to him that day.

The only church in town would be a place where people walk side-by-side learning and abiding within the will of God.  Yes, they would learn together in their own unique way.  The whole would be greater than the sum of their parts.

Just for today...

"I will make this day a happy one, for I alone can determine what kind of day it will be." One Day at a Time (p. 79)

"I don't know what is best for others because I don't know the lessons that God is offering them . . . Nine times out of ten, I am focusing on someone else to avoid looking at something in my own life."  Courage to Change (p. 79)

"Squirrels leap; Deer prance. - He listens; She speaks."
"More wholly; Woods or Church - Better together; Creation abounds."   Am I a Poet?

March 18th - Groupthink versus Truth

The story...

Solomon Asch conducted a conformity experiment to test the phenomena that's often referred to as groupthink.  In this study, only 25% of the participants would not go along with group consensus when evaluating which line length was a match.  

Reference & Comparison Card Pair - Wikipedia 5/18/24

Personally, I've often experienced the pain of being in that quartile who maintained their integrity when the group's going the other way - "it's just the way I am."  I assume that when the issues are more complex, than assessing the length of lines, the percentage decreases significantly.  Groupthink often results in people going where they don't wanna go - maybe nobody.

Within the only church in town, I hope that God's revealed Word would be the standard for measuring line length.  And, I hope that the grace, love and mercy offered by God, to us in Christ, would be extended amongst community members - freedom from the tyrannical rule of self.  Then, people might have a solid rock foundation for measuring truth - working out a life of integrity, characterized by love, amongst all their groups.

Just for today...

"I can lower my expectations of others and myself, and choose to be happy with progress rather than perfection."  Hope for Today (p. 78)

"I've spent so much time and energy trying to help those who didn't want it, that the opportunity  to make a welcome contribution to someone else's well being is precious to me." Courage to Change (p. 78)

"I will not look for a scapegoat to excuse my own faults."  One Day at a Time (p. 78)

"We must be true inside, true to ourselves, before we can know a truth that is outside us."  No Man Is an Island - Thomas Merton

"Honest but wrong; Open to Change - Still okay; Growing up."   Am I a Poet?

March 16th - Obsessive Thoughts

 The story...

"It's okay to let bad ideas land in your head but it's not okay to let them build a nest there."  I don't know when I first heard this cliché but I do remember it.  I'm capable of renumerating an emotional triggered "issue" for too long.  This obsessive thinking can drive me into a mode where I think that I need to fix, manage, or control the related issue(s).  Even when I'm distracted or move my energy toward another direction, it can be tempting to pick the thoughts up again.  Endlessly juggling them in my mind.  At those times, we're not free to choose a better life-giving alternative.  If free, we might experience fruit like: love, joy, peace, patience, happiness, and even joy.  Truly experiencing the here and now - in the present. 

Personally, these obsessive thought patterns are negatively correlated with the degree that I'm walking humbly with God.  The more that I'm obsessively thinking, the less I'm thinking about, or relating rightly and honestly with, God and other people too.  At those times, I'm not being kind.

Have I complete victory over obsessive thinking?  No.  Yet, I do recognize that obsessive state of mind when it seems to be starting and more quickly return to peacefulness.  

Here are a few techniques I learned to better deal with obsessive thinking:

1. Say to yourself: "You've four minutes to tell me the truth about the situation - then it's over."  I'm frequently more aware of the situation reality, and my part in it, after the four minutes.
2. Literally brush the imagined issue off each of your shoulders as if they were bugs.
3. Kneel down and pray related truths from God's Word, about you, and the situation too.  Then spend and equal amount of time quietly and attentively listening.

The only church in town idea doesn't provide the opportunity for people to go to another church or split the church when obsessively focused on trouble.  The leaders, formal and informal, would naturally go to technique three, first individually and then as community.

Just for today...

"Acceptance means simply admitting there are things we cannot change.  Accepting them puts an end to our futile struggles and frees our thought and energy to work on things that can be changed."  One Day at a Time (p. 76)

"When I obsessed, I hurt myself.  I drove myself to madness - insane thoughts and ideas - by trying to fix or control that which I have no power."  Hope for Today (p. 76)

"Selves choose paths; Rightly good. - Neighbors hurt; We're sorry."  Am I a Poet?

March 14th - A Journey of Faith

The story...

Pastor Pete said: "If you aren't 100% sure of your salvation then you've got the big problem to deal with."   He proclaimed messages like that frequently and it bothered me.  Why?  I'm a conversationalist who asked about and heard a variety of conceptions of God.  I remember believing in the gospel, during a Baptist outreach, when I was about seven.  However, I also rationally understood how the whole construct might've been worked out to help people deal with their fear of pain and death.  Wouldn't the fear of chaos motivate men to create a religion to appease and control the masses?

I'm not sure what the process was, but one day I fully believed and stopped entertaining doubts - began more humbly and honestly walking with God in a more "right' relationship.  It could be my personal version of what happened inside Abraham in Genesis 15.  I'm not sure whether it was an act of my will, powered by the Spirit of God, an experiment, or something worked out in prayer.  I do know that I now fully believe God's Word as opposed to rationally considering and evaluating each idea before "I" make "my" decision.  I hope that my current faith is becoming more like the faith of Abraham - God's friend.

I struggled to find a picture that might best relate to faith.  I chose this bolt head that helped secure the bed of my old truck to it's rusty frame.  If you've worked on old cars, you've learned that you'll find a way to get that seized bolt out even when it appears that there is "no way."  Fretting or thoughts of quitting don't help.  I was so thankful that I was able to grind this hard-to-reach bolt off - I keep it as a reminder to trust the process and to remember past victories.

How might the only church in town work out their faith together and individually?  They will: preach, teach, praise, worship, commune, eat, serve, love, help, build, listen, share, care, and trust in the will and hand of God.  The faith journey may start in a moment like Don and Betty seemed to have at their son's camp.  Their sin and the consequences are easy for the viewer to see; yet, they don't appear to really know what's going on.  There is a curse, the law of sin and death, working it's way out in people who were created for something better.

Just for today...

"If we do finally ask for God's help, we must do so with absolute confidence. It is fruitless to take back into our own hands the problem which our powerlessness forced us to turn over to Him." One Day at a Time (p. 74)

"It stands to reason that a change in us will be a force for good that will help the entire family." Courage to Change (p. 74)

"Swimmer's speed; Through deep - Ladened mind; Washed clean."  Am I a Poet?

March 1st - Knots that bind

The story...

I learned to tie knots as a Boy Scout - including the life-saving Bowline.  You can actually tie the bowline with one hand.  You'll need that knot if you're hanging precariously from a cliff holding onto the end of your rope.  I practiced that knot over and over to become rather adept at tying it for a few days; then, I forgot it.  I likely wouldn't be able to recall that knot when I need it.

There's one knot that's habitually imbedded in my memory.  My dad taught me a knot for tying on fishing lures.  The emotional pain of losing a favorite lure, or possibly the biggest fish of the day, motivated me to learn the method "right."  I tie that knot the same way my dad taught me.  First, you spin seven times - not six or eight.  Alternative fishing line knots are available on YouTube.  They claim to be stronger or simpler to tie.  Am I going to change?  Strangely, no.

There're times when I need to tie a knot, with fishing line, that's not a slip knot.  For example, like when tying an invisible line to prop up an object or to form a safety line to prevent the object from falling from a top shelf.  

Can you see the line?

Who do I call when I'm in need of a specialty knot?  I dial up YouTube and learn from a person who most graciously took the time to share their knowledge with all who want to know.  Thank you YouTubers!

How might the fishing line and knot knowledge relate to the only church in town?   The supporting roles are often hard to see and often require specialized knowledge that're learned throughout a lifetime. 

Please accept my heartfelt thanks for the supporting role(s) that you provide within your communities.  I expect that we all know and feel it when we're using our talents and gifts in the way that's uniquely ours.  I'm so thankful to be found positioned safely in Christ and that the Spirit of Christ can perform great works - even through me.   

Just for today...

"Disappointment, bitterness, and resentment are ties that bind, and until we release these feelings to God, we remain bound to the past."  Hope for Today (p. 61)

"Humility prepares us for the realization of God's will for us; it shows us the benefits we gain from doing away with self-will."  One Day at a Time (p. 61)

"If you understand, things are just as they are; if you do not understand, things are just as they are."  Zen proverb

"Cast the lure quick; The big one lurks below - He chose me; The knot slipped..."  Am I a Poet?

February 26th - Goodness

The story...

I experienced a wonderful day in my church community.  Why?  It may be that I, and my partner, were prepared for our role as children's leaders.  We led worship, learned about goodness, and worked out our faith together.  It might've also been the old friends that I met - one needed help and asked for it, one sincerely offered thanks, one reminisced about one who left us years ago, and others readily accepted heartfelt thankfulness messages.  I met four new people, while sharing a meal together, and the balanced conversation seemed to show genuine interest and kindness.  

Worship time was with kids rather than grownups.  We laughed, told stories about our lives, participated in the learning, clapped, and interjected praise too.  We heard a wonderful bible story about being a good neighbor.  The group included people who were different from most of us - that felt good.  We ended the time doing an art project alongside each other.  We sat side by side, brushing shoulders and elbows, while we turned our blank piece of paper into something that kind of matched our imagination.  Finally we broke our assembly and pulled away from togetherness - I looked back and thought "that's the way I want to live."

My project - my friends liked it - I liked theirs too.

Might the only church in town be more like that?  Hmm...

Just for today...

"If I urge someone to do what I think I would do in a similar crisis, and my advice is acted upon, the outcome may be an even greater tragedy, and I would be responsible for that . . . I do not know what course of action is right for anyone else. I can offer only comfort and compassion, and the good example of the life I am trying to build."  One Day at a Time (p. 57)

"Sometimes the forgiveness process fosters deeper unity and connection between people. Sometimes it points to the exit sign."  Hope for Today (p. 57)

"Shame is an excuse to hate ourselves today for something we did or didn't do in the past. . . . Today I will love myself enough to recognize shame as an error in judgement."  Courage to Change (p. 57)

"I'm with you; You're with me - Bigger together; Love worked out."  Am I a Poet?

February 24th - Let the good time roll...

The story...

When I was 19 years old, I recorded the The Cars song "Let the good times roll" consecutively until it filled both sides of a cassette tape.  From what I remember, it was the only song that anybody in my car listened to for at least a month.  Why not choose to always feel happy and surround yourself with others who were like minded?  I naively thought that I could choose, or control, the way I felt by using the song as a consistent reminder to stay in the "groove" - suppress those unwanted feelings!

During that same period, a psychologist, Paul Eckman, identified the following six basic emotions: happiness, sadness, disgust, fear, surprise, and anger.  It seems that I was trying to suppress conscious feelings of sadness, fear, disgust and anger as "we" listened to my tape. Why didn't the tape work?  I expect that our five senses trigger feelings - deeper down inside; emotions are triggered too.  That's a good thing since our emotions and feelings help us to make sense of what we both experienced and are experiencing.

As I age, I'm more "in tune" with my feelings and emotions - less static.  I'm more aware of how I feel regarding what I'm sensing.  I'm also better understanding my emotions too.  Growing in self awareness seems to be a worthy endeavor.  I spend less time belaboring, or recycling, feelings and emotions over, over and over...  It seems good to understand our feelings without quickly reacting - letting go of emotions before they become obsessive thoughts.  

How might the only church in town deal with the reality of people's feelings and emotions as they work out life together?  I've heard preachers say that facts should be the engine that drives our life "trains" and that feelings should stay back there in the caboose.  I expect that the community is harmed when people react quickly to their feelings, belabor obsessively over emotional issues, or focus on maintaining heightened emotions during group gatherings.  The group would likely function better if the leaders and the go-to people were emotionally intelligent.

Just for today...

"Let me learn to keep peace with silence when it is not the right time to say what comes to mind." One Day at a Time (p. 55)

"When I can't find a solution to a problem, when I have nagging doubts, fears, or frustrations, when I feel lost or confused, a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself can make a tremendous difference."  Courage to Change (p. 55)

"I wanna be a good character; in the game of life - Yet move awkwardly; trudging on my own."  Am I a Poet?

February 23rd - Invite me . . . please

The story...

Years ago, a young energetic man, who was new to our church community, invited me to play volleyball with a group of "our people" at the local beach.  I was part of the larger community for years and was surprised at such an enthusiastic invitation. I don't imagine that I would've attended my first meeting by way of a general community invitation.  The invitation seemed sincere - he seemed to really want me to join them.  What a wonderful summer group activity it was for 3 or 4 years - it ended with a knee problem and the group eventually did move on as most groups do. 

I need to be invited yet may reject the invitation.  How might we invite while minimizing the awkwardness of rejection?  I found this article 10 Ways to To Ask Someone To Hang Out (Without Being Awkward) helpful.

Will people need to be personally invited to engage within the only church in town?  Yes.

Just for today...

"Detachment is essential to any healthy relationship between people. Each of us is a free individual, with neither one in control of the other."  One Day at a Time (p. 54)

"Even as a child, I had grown up responsibilities, so it is no wonder that I grew up to be a caretaker.  It seemed so comfortable, so automatic to think of others first and to give myself completely to whatever crisis was at hand without a thought for myself. I no longer do things for others that they could do for themselves."  Courage to Change (p. 54)

"We're mutual detached; Free to grow - Being ourselves; Each living it."  Am I a Poet?

February 22nd - The incredible edible egg

The story...

The Egg Board advertised the value of the egg in a 1978 marketing campaign - "the incredible, edible egg."  Why would egg producers need to market the value of eggs?  Well, one large egg has about 186 mg of cholesterol, an interim-fasting diet may skip breakfast, and vegans view eggs as an animal product.  I remember my mother buying Carnation Instant Breakfast, in the 1960s.  They advertised it as the perfect breakfast for a really good day - and it tastes good too!  I also liked this milk-shake breakfast - for a season.

Two of my favorite civil war characters are Thomas (Stonewall) Jackson and Abraham (Abe) Lincoln. I understand that the typical "sustaining" diet for a soldier was about a pound of meat and a pound of bread or flour per day. Similarly, Abraham Lincoln had a simple diet and may have ate one boiled egg for breakfast when visiting the troops.  The egg seems like a good choice in a civil war camp - you could count on it being clean after you peeled off that natural protective shell.

Might the only church in town provide the food, or sustenance, for living a "good life."  Wendy's marketing campaign "where's the beef?" seems like an appropriate question to ask.  The only church in town may be known for offering the path to a "good life."  A path that's consistently walked with the light of the Word of God's illumination.  People would witness this good life in "actualities" and through real people with skin on them.  An advertising campaign wouldn't be necessary.

Just for today...

"In the grand scheme of things, no single decision is ever really that important.  I can do my best to make decisions wisely, but the results are in the hands of God."  Courage to Change (p. 53)

"Let me cultivate awareness of those around me; it is all the better for me, too, if I clarify my thoughts before I speak."  One Day at a Time (p. 53)

"Air fills lungs; Minds direct steps - Scripture opens veils; Glimpses of eternal."  Am I a Poet?

February 18th - Try it on

The story...

Tens of years ago, I worked within an organization as a manager.  One year, the organization went through great pains to provide me, and my peers, with an actionable performance review through a process called 360-degree feedback.  One of the suggestions, for my personal growth, was to begin writing my own blog.  I was surprised by the suggestion and checked with my peers to see if they received the same advice.  No, it was just for me.  Why would I write a blog?  I already felt confident as a writer and communicator - how would spending time on a blog help me?   As I now know, I missed a great opportunity, like a valuable-unopened gift.  I was behaving like the guy who needs a new jacket yet critiques every one they see - never even bothering to try one on.

Are my suit coats boring or what?

I hope that the only church in town would maintain and share essential doctrine and way for being in a right relationship with God in Christ.  They'd offer the community opportunities to "try on" the new way of being and working out their faith - in reality.  Their source is God's revelations - trustworthy.

Just for today...

"I recognize the same shortcomings, in me, I once eagerly pointed out in others.  It is easier to accept the limitations of others when I acknowledge my own."  Courage to Change (p. 49)

"We may think we can change the things around us according to our desires, but when a solution does come, we find it was our desires that had changed."  One Day at a Time  (p. 49)

"I like it this way, he naturally says - It looks too good, it can't be real."  Am I a Poet?