July 12th - Living relationships

The story...

The people I normally congregate with planned a different kind of event where we spent a full Saturday together - all together on a big bus.  I invited two of my long-term friends to go with us - one said yes and the other said yes only because of the first friend's enthusiasm to go. 

Not the bus we went on yet it looks "fun."

It seemed that after about eight hours the initial anxieties and awkwardness of being in a new group melted away - we felt a bit more rested and content together.   On the way home, the person who was reluctant to go, sat across the table from me eating the largest Arby's roast beef.  They shared that the event was much better than they expected and they were glad that they came; but, he had one question.  I had introduced him to a person within the group whom I described as a best friend who I often shared ideas, questions, learnings, concerns, and spiritual life realities with.  So, what was his question?  "Have you ever shared bad stuff about me with him?"   

I paused as I reflected on the question.  I was surprised that I actually had no "bad stuff "that I knew about my friend.  And, I had no bad feelings or thoughts about any other person either.  At least at that moment, I truly did feel acceptance and respect for all people just as they were.   I was able to truthfully say to him: "Actually, I don't have bad thoughts about anybody and certainly not you.  No, I didn't share bad stuff about you."  He replied: "That's good."

Within the only church in town, people would find compassion for all, just the way they are.  They'd learn about the reality of who they are in Christ.  They'd be enabled to love God and themselves too.   That's the source of strength from which we can truly have compassion for all.  Praise God in Christ - "grace, grace, wonderful grace."

Just for today...

"The more scared I was the more I tried to control.  Fear reared its ugly head particularly in my belief that I wasn't good enough or smart enough to have joyful, trusting and intimate relationships.  Instead of allowing myself to connect with others, I would often avoid them."  Hope for Today (p. 194)

"I can focus on myself and still be a loving, caring person . . . Encouraging and being kind to others is one way of being good to myself, and I don't have to sacrifice myself in the process . . . Today I will offer support for those I love and still take care of myself."  Courage to Change (p. 194)

"If you would be loved, love, and be loveable."  Benjamin Franklin

"You're you; Warts an all - When okay; We stand tall."   Am I a Poet?

July 10th - Curious George

The story...

Curious George was my favorite character from the books I read as a  young boy.  I was surprised and sad when the librarian told me that I'd read the whole series.  There were no more Curious George books to read - "no, that can't be!"  George was true to his nature, as a monkey, but loved and respected the man in the yellow hat who often saved him from the troubles that he encountered as he ventured forth.  George wondered what if..., or where might..., or how does..., or who is..., or what will that do?  George pushed the limits and experienced a more full and adventurous life - he didn't "play it safe."

I expect the book series was popular because people want to experience a "bigger" life yet they play it safe to avoid risks of failure, rejection, injury...  Yet, playing it safe often results in a more isolated, smaller, anxious, and lonely self.  I'm thankful for every close relationship and new experience that helped stretch the boundaries of life.  Yes, when I'm okay with myself, I'm more free to enjoy other people just as they are.  Wow, what a neat thing to be truly interested in the lives of the other pilgrims who're traveling on alongside.  

I wonder what will happen today, who I will meet, or how the Lord will work His way through the lives of those who are His. Yes, I'm thankful to be a curious sort.

The only church in town would include many who greatly value their relationships.  The source of their willingness to be curious will be the peace they currently enjoy in God through Christ - they risk experiencing love with a strong sense that they're okay.  This best relationship can serve as a foundation for taking our eyes off ourselves and truly, and more honestly, toward others.

Just for today...

"I won't let old, limiting ideas and doubts go unchallenged.  I may discover strengths and talents that never had the chance to come to light."  Courage to Change (p. 192)

"Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they're yours."  Richard Bach.

"Most folks are about as happy as they make up their mind to be."  Abraham Lincoln

"Shoulda; oughta - Gotta; Must."
"You can't; It won't - Try it; You'll see."
"Freedom rang; First stepped - Life began; It's me."
"Kindness felt; Eyes saw - Love's real; Pain an all."   Am I a Poet?

July 7th - Unwanted Opinions Rust

The story...

A good friend recently hurt a joint while performing a new activity where they'd found fun, new friends, and success too - the good-life fit they were looking for.  So, they're ignoring the pain and wanting to believe an alternate reality that allows them to continue on this new path towards happiness.  They know the right thing to do; yet, they don't want to accept it.   Advice to take a pause, or even see a doctor, may be viewed as unwanted criticism.

I actually did treat them like a neighbor and listened with the intent of understanding where they were at.  Yes, I used reflective listening and empathized with their situation.  They did reach, what seems like, a good conclusion and our relationship seemed to be bolstered too.

It's been a great joy to care for other people without even offering a hint of opinion related to how they might best work out their lives.  This seems to be an ingredient for better understanding and actual personal growth together.

Yes, the only church in town will be a place where your neighbors congregate.  More loving relationships with self, neighbors and our God in Christ.

Trader Joes - where neighbors meet up?

Just for today...

"Obsessively reviewing everyone's behavior focuses my attention where it doesn't belong . . . I can consider the part I played . . . Instead of wringing my hands and pointing my finger, I can consider the possibility that everything is happening exactly as it should."  Courage to Change (p. 189)

"To withdraw from an argument may not make you the winner, but what you have saved is your own dignity and grace."  One Day at a Time (p.189)

"Let'em be; As they are - Grow together; Journey far."   Am I a Poet?

July 6th - Do you fear letting God lead?

The story...

Two men walk into a room and find a huge pile of dung in the middle.  The first guy frowns and says "this is awful, who did this, and who's going to clean it up?"   The second guy smiles and says "there must be a pony in here somewhere."

I think that I'm generally optimistic and recognize that what appears to be bad often has an unexpected upside.  Yet, some people grew up in situations where "bad" stuff was the norm and their life was marked with fear, and distrust.   In order to minimize the pain they attempt to fix, manage, and control other people and most situations.

It seems right for people to want to fix, manage, and control their lives in order to increase the likelihood of a "best" possible outcome.  Yet, people in the only church in town will hear about trusting God.  It seems scary to be out of control.  What would a life surrendered to God look like?  Might it be like a coordinated ballroom dance where God leads?  We can imagine what an out-of-synch dance looks like when both try to lead.  Wouldn't it be nice to rest and let God do the leading? 

The only church in town would be more peaceful than fearful.  Those who try to fix, manage, and control their lives, and others too, might witness the life dance of some who trust God to lead.  People who grew in the actualities of trusting and walking humbly with God together.  He is trustworthy.

Just for today...

"Disappointments growing up with . . . fueled my expectations that bad things would always happen.  I came to expect the worst, leading to a deep fear that permeated my will and my life."  Hope for Today (p. 188)

"Today I seek to be an instrument of the peace of God.  I know that it is the most loving and generous commitment I can possibly make - to myself."  Courage to Change (p. 188)

"I am leaving you with a gift - peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give." John 14:27 NLT

"Touch of hand; Gentle shift - Flow together; To final lift."   Am I a Poet?

July 3rd - Group Understanding and Consensus within the Light

The story...

We were hiring a new engineer and our new group-consensus recruiting process had filtered down the list of candidates to two.  We used a group interview and scoring process.  Both people were very different and the interviewers were split regarding who was expected to best both perform the job and work well within the group(s) and organization.  I vocally supported my candidate as part of the minority.  I accepted the group's decision to offer the job to the other guy; yet, I was a bit frustrated by both the process and the resulting decision.  As the years went by, it was clear that the group made the right decision - "they were right and I'm glad I listened."  Yes, I'm a believer in a group interviewing and decision making process.  Maybe each person's perspective does shine light on the fuller implications of the decision making process?

The only church in town would value all people and seek to understand them in both the light of day and God's revelations.  Might we find answers to the question of how we fit into His Will there?  How do we understand God's Will for ourselves, others, and the group when we aren't even capable of actually knowing our own heart or inner man?  I expect that the only church in town would focus on right relationships between God, me, and my fellow congregates too.  Yes, they'd follow the greatest commandment to love the Lord their God with all heart, mind, and strength.  And, to love their neighbor as they love themselves - the light of God shining on relationships, decisions, and the future too. 

In my limited experience, God has intervened in my life in a continuous way.  His Word and Spirit do seem to validate my walk within His will with a sense of peace.  When my soul wanders and seeks to glorify my imagined self, the Spirit of God convicts me and restores our working relationship - a work of God.  It's surprising when my soul is at peace when my circumstances seem to say I "should" be thinking and feeling otherwise.

Just for today...

"I do not know what is best for other people.  Today I will remember that newcomers, and everyone else, are in the hands of a Power greater than myself."  Courage to Change (p. 185)

"Shed's a crumbling; I thought no - Floor gave way; Light said so."
"Bought supplies; Invited friend too - Changed together; Restored anew."   Am I a Poet?

July 1st - Let 'em Be Free

The story...

My rebellious spirit resisted efforts to fix, manage, or control me.  Had I been more compliant, I likely would've received better grades, learned to play a cornet better, better understood what others were into, and been a part of more groups too.  I do greatly appreciate the groups and relationships that I've been a part of; yet, I seemed driven towards freedom from group think and domineering controlling types.  Sadly, this meant that I had to find ways to deal with the rejection that goes along with a rebellious spirit.

The jobs that I chose, and flourished in, allowed me to exercise my independence and drive change in the processes that mostly converted inputs into outputs.  Rebel against the status quo and change things to make them better.  The jobs involved imagination, risk, reward, influence, and an internal need to succeed - I was naturally good at this type of work and change characterized my career.  When things became too predictable, I moved on towards the next thing.

Was I born to walk this road or was I a product of my environment?  Nobody knows the answer.  I do believe that we all need every person to work out their unique abilities, skills and talents for the benefit of us all.

How might the only church in town be a place where all people would congregate when some of them are rebels like me?  I think that we'd let each person work out their own life and provide opportunities for groups who would focus on relationships amongst congregates.  Yet, the - North Star - purpose would always be for each person to rest in their right relationship with God in Christ.  A body of Christ with Christ as the head.

Just for today...

"...what I view as a finely developed sense of responsibility may actually amount to a form of dominance." Hope for Today (p.183)

"...the man I married cannot be the source of my happiness or sorrow.  The gift of life is personally mine - as his life belongs to him - to enjoy or destroy, as each of us wishes."  One Day at a Time ([. 183)

"Ever'thing there is but lovin' leaves a rust on yo' soul."  Langston Hughes

June 30th - God knows what I'm trying to say

The story...

I wonder how often I prayed when I was young.  What did I pray about?  I don't remember expectations that I knelt beside my bed with my hands folded.  Maybe I laid in bed making pleas for answers to the dilemmas that each day presented.  I do remember sleeping on the bottom bunk looking at the airplanes printed on the fabric below the top bunk - I did often imagine flying.  My needs were never fully met and I hope I was thankful for the what and the whom in my life.  

I look back now with thankfulness for all of the life changes that came my way - the good, the bad and the...   My relationship with God is closer than ever and my life is generally peaceful.  I can imagine how God might enjoy me and our relationship.  Yes, I greatly value my human experience and have inklings of how they might be valued and useful within the next life or realm.

Scripture confirms that God knows a  man's heart better than any man does.  It seems that God enjoys and responds to our conversations with Him.  The only church in town will teach people to pray - to work out a right relationship with God the Father through our Savior our Lord Jesus the Christ.  I'm so thankful that my parents brought me to church where I learned Who God was, what He revealed for us, and how to pray.

Just for today...

"As a child I seldom felt as though I had enough of anything - especially love , attention, and approval.  It seemed no matter what my parents said or did, I always wanted more.  As and adult I tried to get my needs met in other ways.  I ate too much, thinking I could fill my empty spaces with food.  I shopped in too many stores, searching for the  elusive merchandise that would finally make me feel complete.  I sought 'substitute parents' whose attention and approval would make me feel good about my life and myself."  Hope for Today (p. 182)

"'Why are you saying your ABCs so many times?' I asked the boy.  He replied, 'I'm saying my prayers.' I couldn't help but laugh. 'Prayers.? All I hear is the alphabet.' Patiently the boy explained, Well, I don't know all the words, so I give God the letters. God knows what I am trying to say.'"  Courage to Change (p. 182) 

"Squint to see; Truth or error - Seems real; Vanity fair?"
"Kneel to hear; Wait in peace - Take next step; Wonder ne'er cease."
"Prophets heard; Had to tell - I believe; All is well."                          Am I a Poet?

June 25th - Why do I resist prayer?

The story...

I was trained to be an industrial engineer (IE).  One of my IE tasks was to plan for the capacity to produce products.  I learned people learn new processes and systems at predictable rates.  Their speed of learning may be modeled by a constant percentage every time they double the total number of parts they've produced to date.  The multiplier will be at about 80% for simple assembly work and up to 95% for more complex work.  For an 80% manual-job learning curve, this rule-of-thumb would project that a 10 min. time for the 50th part would be reduced to 8 min. for the 100th part.  The idea is right even if my facts are a tad off.

So, what's the learning curve look like for my prayer life?  My capacity to pray and time I spent praying doesn't fit the learning curve model.   First, I don't remember being taught to pray.  My family often recited a version of the prayer Jesus taught His disciples before meals - I remember it as follows:

"Father, who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.  Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory forever, AMEN."  Luke 11:1-13  

I've listened to other people pray aloud - their prayers were addressed to themselves, the prayer group, God, Jesus, and sometimes to no one in particular.  My prayer history had ebbs and flows, desert and rainy seasons, anxiety and peace, new truth and despair, full acceptance and lost, long and short, revelation and no sense of change, quiet and loud, on my knees or speeding, one-way and two-way, natural and foreign, loving and left outside, trusting and questioning...

I wish I'd prayed more.  I'm going to pray right down and tell you what happened when I'm done.  Here it goes...

I prayed for 8 min. 5 sec. My heart was right, I praised and thanked God.  I made my requests known for others. I was quiet for about a third of the time and felt emotions and physical feeling within my body too.  It felt good and right - a place where I want to be.  Yet, as I'm typing I've returned to my life journey.  My prayer respite is but a memory.  I wonder how that prayer might've affected lives and God's intervention.  We may never know the answer to questions like these.  Yet, God has revealed that prayer's critical towards our relationship and receipt of His lovingkindness. 

Yes, the only church in town would be a place of prayer.  People would work out increasingly reliant relationships with our God and seek Him and His will in prayer.  If we were prayerful sorts, might we enjoy each other more?  He's faithful.

Just for today...

"Am I too busy too pray? Have I no time for meditation? Then let me ask myself whether I have been able to solve my problems without help."  One Day at a Time (p. 177)

"Eyes on me; I insist - Quiet with Him; I resist."
"Wanna but don't; Why's it so? - Peacefully praying; Best we know."   Am I a Poet?

June 23rd - Being Honest with Me

The story...

Much of my life was spent trying to change me in ways that'd: satisfy my ego; protect me from harm; experience love; feed my economic engine; provide me with comfortable stuff; get along with others; or to scratch that "itch."  Maybe I could've worked out that plan without the power of God if circumstances and random variables would've gone my way?  

I remember hearing that my sin separated me from a relationship with the Creator of all things - I was 7 or 8 years old and I was listening to a loving-old woman tell me this "truth," using a flannelgraph, at a neighbors house.  She asked if anybody wanted to come up front and receive God's gift of forgiveness and restoration.  I must have recognized the "iniquity" in my life - my heart and mind wanting good yet behaving differently.  I was the sole hearer to come up to the front to make a profession of faith.  It may've been a divine appointment.  What actually happened there is both mysterious and wonderful - the trajectory of my life changed.

The flannelgraph told "The" story in a more colorful way

I experienced the fleeting pleasures of sin yet attempted to serve even as an "Acolyte" lighting candles in church.  At 15, I made a promise to God that I'd serve him if he saved me from a predicament.  At 21, I felt brokenness and earnestly read the four Gospels during the summer of 1980.  I was surprised to hear who Jesus the Christ was.  I ask my Mom: "Why didn't anyone tell me this before?"  My mom replied something like: "Oh you heard all those stories in church and Sunday school..."  God took the reins of my life thereafter and seemed to have orchestrated my life as though I was living out a role in some sort of play - I did my part and things seemed to work their way out.

My personal book of life records: hope, faith, drifting, achievement, disappointment, joy, success, failure, love, hurt, friendships, and an increasingly closer walk/relationship with my Creator.  I've experienced much through the grace of God - I'm so thankful for all of my life experiences.  He drew me closer and closer to Him and my capacity to love God, myself, and others has grown too.  I stand thankful for my faith in God - right with Him in Christ - the Bible told me so. 

Just for today...

"The courage to be honest with ourselves is one quality we can cultivate to help our spiritual growth."  Courage to Change (p. 175)

Stewart, J. S. (1935). A man in Christ: The vital elements of St. Paul’s religion. 

"We're all different; Want the same - Wanna please; Know our name."
"Give up trying; Right with Him - Quietly fruitful;  Freed from sin."    Am I a Poet?

June 15th - Seek first to understand and relate to others

The story...

I arrived late to my son's baseball game and merged into the crowd to see my son walking up to the plate.  I yell out some "remember to..." encouragement and he turns in my direction and asks "what did you say?"  The audience looks at me and I sat embarrassed.  I knew then that my behavior was wrong and didn't forget the incident.  It helped me see a problem but didn't reveal the cause. 

Old home plate in our back yard

Much of my life has been spent repeatedly attempting to convey and convince others of my further understanding on any topic of interest to me.  I may've justified this demeaning behavior as a means for "helping" others and refining my thoughts by testing and defending them.  In reality, I inhibited relationships, other people's growth, and my own growth too.  Most importantly, the behavior restrained life-giving relationships.

For me, a better way has been to work out a sincere interest in people as they are and where they are.  It's strange that it would be a surprise to me that people, whom I take a sincere interest in, seem to become sincerely interested in me too. Close friendships are now part of my definition of the "good" life - I don't want to work my way through life without them.

The only church in town will likely have a preacher who will frequently speak to the full congregation.  I hope that the messages would be centered around who we are in Christ and less about what we should, or oughta, be thinking or doing.

Just for today...

"What are the attitudes and behaviors that may have served me (or at least gave the illusion of serving me) in the past but now limit my capacity to experience joy and fulfillment?  What are the resentments that keep me in bondage to the past?"  Hope for Today (p. 167)

"I will not add to the problem by using cruel, clever words to humiliate a fellow human being. In doing so, I would be shaming myself."  Courage to Change (p. 167)

"They seem odd; What'd I do? - Probably me; Maybe you."
"Again I'm wrong; Why'd I guess? - Skeptical attitude; Ain't the best."   Am I a Poet?

June 11th - Valued Relationships

The story...

Relationships in college seemed easier for me.  We lived and ate in the same place, shared similar schedules and academic challenges, were about the same age, attended similar social events, drank beer together, and most of our lives had yet to be written.  I thought I was free to play and be whoever I wanted to be.

Marston Hall - The library was my favorite study place.

Many college students had enough of community living after about two years.  They wanted to be free of the forced relationship hassles and rules related to community living - they moved off campus. Personally, I didn't understand why people would want to clean a house, shovel sidewalks, buy and cook food, and work out the domestic life with just a few other people.   I liked to visit houses like that but I also enjoyed returning to the dorm community.

During my Junior year, I attended the going-away parties for friends who were graduating or just leaving Ames, IA.  Parties for guys seemed to be more optimistic than for girls - girl parties seemed more like a wake or funeral.  Maybe the girls were more in tune with their feelings or had closer relationships than guys did.  Anyway, I always planned an event that I could escape to rather than lingering at the "wakes."

Then it happened to me.  I had my own apartment in Knoxville, TN.  I had friends yet I felt isolation and loneliness.  Soon, a new friend invited me to connect with a parachurch.  I've been part of a church community ever since.  The purpose of the college community was to grow me, grow my understanding and transform me into a productive member of society - be somebody organizations needed.  The church community had aims of making me a better person rightly related to God and others too.

The only church in town would primarily preach and teach the gospel about how a man can be reconciled with God and have an ongoing relationship with Him.  They'd work out Truth into the reality of their life walk and community too.   The community life and person-to-person relationships would be good yet of secondary importance.

Just for today...

"I was unable to discuss my personal life with my mother.  Fearing her rejection, I rejected her instead . . . I realized that the opportunity to be close to her had always existed, but I hadn't been willing, until then, to take part in it."  Courage to Change (p. 163)

"Hurt people; Reacted feelings - Go away; Need you bad."   Am I a Poet?

June 7th - Let it be heard - lament

The story...

I've had the joy of meeting weekly with a group of men while we studied the bible.  One Monday night we were considering the lamentations of the prophet Jeremiah who lived 40 years warning Jerusalem of God's pending judgment.   The people, temple, palace, city, law, festivals, and land would be punished for not being the called out group of people that God required.  A remnant of 4,600 people would be exiled to Babylon for 70 years to cleanse the people and the land from the effects of sin.  Jerimiah lamented deeply - he's known as the weeping prophet.

All life involves suffering.  Ignoring, pretending and hiding seem to be reasonable ways to cope; yet, they run rife with bad consequences.  Bottled up emotions and pretending are no way to live a good life either.  God's Word say He knows our heart and hears our prayers that cry out with the pain inflicted from both our personal and collective sin. 

The only church in town would be acutely aware that they're living in a cursed world.  People need to be restored when sin inflicts it's damage.  Real freedom and love are offered to us by God through faith in His great work in Christ.  Yet, the pain and sufferings of life take their toll.  God hears our lamenting and loves those who walk faithfully beside Him within the only church in town.

The Passion Of The Christ - Tear Drop From God

Why not go to a quiet place and let it out today?

Just for today...

"Courtesy . . . is an expression of love, warm concern for the other person's comfort, peace of mind and well being . . . The practice of courtesy in the home gives us many opportunities each day to convey our love in little ways."  One Day at a Time (p. 1'59)

"When I turn off one feeling, I shut off all the others . . .  Sobbing, wailing, lamenting - all different ways of discharging my pain so that I can heal - allow me to experience the strength of my aliveness."  Hope for Today (p. 159)

"Mood chemicals flow; Might feel blue - Must I react; Are they true?"
"Wonderful sensors; Super-hero tall - Fully human; Feelings and all."   Am I a Poet?

June 1st - Expectations for Others - Pre-Meditated Resentments?

The story...

I'm a volunteer soccer coach waiting for that last parent to pick up their "kid."  It was getting dark and this'd happened before.  "Don't they realize how much it costs me to be the soccer coach?  Don't they care about their kid?"  They finally drive up and stop about 30 yards away.  They stay in their car while their son says goodbye and runs off.   I'm frustrated and resent their behavior - they didn't meet my expectations.  I'm the one with the problem, what do "I" do about it?

Do I have the right to impose my standards on other people?  Employers have the right to impose their standards on employees.  Parents have the right and responsibility to set standards for adolescents.  Boy Scouts agree to a set of standards when they join.  Even so, my question remains:  "Do I have the right to impose my standards on other people?"

My resentment caused by others not meeting my standards seems to cause pain - relationships suffer.  Why do we maintain opinions regarding other people or how they behave?

Within the only church in town, the standards will be based on the revealed Word of God.  They'll allow for a broad range of more authentic behavior from congregates - more honest reality within community.  The grace that God has shown His people might be the better relationship guide.

Just for today...

"An expectation is a pre-meditated resentment . . . I have the right to choose my own standards of conduct, but I do not have the right or the power to impose those standards on others."  Courage to Change (p. 153)

"You chose that; Don't you know? - My way's better; Just ain't so."   Am I a Poet?

May 31st - Dents and Stains Redeemed

The story...

I bought a new black Datsun 310 in 1981.  My best friend and his wife were my first riders.  He stepped in some kind of grease before sitting in the car - the 6" grease spot stayed on the carpet until the day I sold it.  

Then, you could drive fast in Tennessee without the worry of a speeding ticket.  When the car was a couple months old, I hit a guardrail while joy riding - the dented-rear fender stayed on the car until the day I sold it.

I moved the car to Ohio and Michigan before finally selling it - bought a new red Honda.  Years later, I found that Datsun in a junk yard, the greased-stained carpet and dented fender were still there - evidence. 

The dent's on the other side...

I try and sometimes make mistakes.  I want to be accepted and loved by other people.  Yet, they sometimes reject me or demean me by making light of me or my accomplishments - wounded pride.  In close relationships, I show my flaws and risk being hurt.  I can either hide my dents and stains or I can fully place my value in my relationship with my Creator - the only place where I must be truly okay.  He loves me just the way I am because He redeemed me - I'm His in Christ.  Scripture, my life walk, and His Spirit at work in me, confirm that I'm right with Him - even with my dents and stains.

I've skills and abilities; yet, I'm incomplete - I need our Creator and the group to walk through life rightly.  You can find a flawed, yet redeemed, group like that within the only church in town - show up.

Just for today...

"The world cannot be discovered by a journey of miles . . . only by a spiritual journey . . . by which we arrive at the ground at our feet, and learn to be at home."  Wendell Berry

"My self-esteem diminished whenever I made a mistake, didn't know something I was expected to know, did something wrong, or when something I unintentionally did or said ended up hurting someone . . . I believed my mistakes were proof of my failure at the one thing I was supposed to accomplish - perfection."  Hope for Today (p. 152)

"Old-pant fray; Saturday bliss - Friendly shirt; Just can't miss."
"Time to change; Friends you know - Dress up right; Ready for show."    Am I a Poet?

May 29th - Be Prepared to Do Your Duty

The story...

There was a season of my life when I frequently fished on a pier that jutted out into Lake Michigan.  It was a great place to enjoy; yet, a place that begged for awareness of the expected and unexpected - to be prepared.  You might cast your lure into the air and have a sea gull swoop down and grab your hook. You might hook a 50-year-old sturgeon.  Lightening may quickly arrive and find you as the highest point in the area.  Your back cast might hook another person in the neck.  You might slip on slime, fall into 38 degree water, gash your forehead, and be anchored down with water-filled boots.  Or, that rouge wave might sweep over the pier and take all the stuff and people with it.  

It'd seem that a person who decides to fish on the pier should also follow the Boy Scout Motto:  "Be Prepared" - be in a state of readiness in mind and body to do your duty.  Does that mean continuously turning ideas of all the "bad" unexpected things, that might occur, through your mind - like on a Rolodex?  How can you bear fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control when you're worrying about what "bad" thing might happen?  Can a person who expects doom and gloom really enjoy the life and relationships they've been given?

How would a deer make it through the day if it thought about all of the possibilities that might occur?  There was a herd outside my window as I am wrote this blog.  They seemed thankful for the sunrise, each other, and trusting their needs to be met.  Are you thankfully trusting God's provision and enjoying the cards you're dealt?  Or, do you expect doom, gloom and merely hope to get lucky?

Can't see 'em?  Look closer...

It makes sense to be with others who're prepared.  Helpers are likely expecting you to come with help if needed too.  Within the only church in town, you'd be walking with other pilgrims through life with different capabilities, knowledge, experiences, gifts, abilities, perspectives, levels of preparedness and maturity too.  Problems and suffering will occur; yet, fruit will be born among the pain and suffering.  

Just for today...

"When we anticipate doom, we lose touch with what is happening now and see the world as a threatening place against which we must be on constant alert.  Most of our fears will never come to pass, and if they do, foreknowledge probably won't make us any better prepared."  Courage to Change (p. 150)

"Eeyore's gloomy; Piglet antsy - Pooh's slow; Tigger's bouncy."
"Group's better; All of us - Friends together; On the bus."    Am I a Poet?

May 20th - The Marriage Contract

The story...

I'm so thankful for my life partner - she said yes 💖.  The marriage contract is a wonderful thing - to love each other, just as we are and will be, till death do we part.  She teaches me to love a bit more each day - I'm so thankful for her...

A marriage contract might work out otherwise.  Meat Loaf sang a wonderful duet "Paradise By The Dashboard Lights."  The protagonist is obsessively thinking and lusting over the girl.  She agrees with the caveat: "yes or no? . . . I gotta know right now . . . Will you make me happy the rest of my life? . . . Will you love me forever?"  He swears on his mother's grave that he'll love her till the end of time - he signs the contract.  Then he prays for the end of time so he can end his time with her.  He'll never break his promise or end his vow.

His relationship didn't seem sustainable.  Love's veiled promise unfulfilled.  Yet, he doesn't break his promise - he suffers along.  What'll he find when he enters the doors of the only church in town?  Justification for divorce, new ways for coping, a diversion, or a new method for changing her?

Within the only church in town, he'd learn about the potential death of his old nature - co-crucified and risen with the Son of God.  He can be free from the tyrannical rule of self -  a new man by the Power of God - yet the contract remains.  Rather than trying to convince her to change, she witnesses the power of God's transformation and may allow God to perform a great work within her heart too.  God does the heavy lifting - there's nothing we can do but trust Him and watch Him work - wow...

Wouldn't that be a great ending stanza to that song?  I don't think so - the song's too good the way it is.  Do you have a favorite song of transformation?  

Just for today...

"Before obsessive thinking takes hold, there is usually a point at which I have to make a choice.  I can opt to mentally toy with a subject that has held my mind hostage in the past or..."  Courage to Change (p. 121)

"Serenity is not abut the end of pain.  It's about my ability to flourish peacefully no matter what life brings my way."  Hope for Today (p. 141)

Lust, forgetful of future suffering, hurries us along the forbidden path."  Claudius Claudianus

"Momma loved me; Flawed but true - Soulmate wanted; Had no clue."
"Disillusion-ally sad; Drew within - God took me; Redeemed my sin."    Am I a Poet?

May 18th - Are you trying to fix, manage, and control another?

The story...

So, I was uncomfortable with the pain that another was going through.  It seemed like I was "helping" them by working out a plan for their life, giving them that subtle suggestion, that tearful hug, that offer to help, that vision of who I think they might be if they would just...   If it were me, or when I was in a situation like that, I would...  The offer was to live vicariously through me and not try to work it out on their own - "you just aren't capable of 'winning' in the game of life on your own - you need me."

It's a good thing to see a person grow from dependence, to independence, and then on to interdependence - a fully functioning independent member of community.  There are many people that think it's just too risky to let others live their lives without their co-management, influence, and control - "you need me!"  Who might they have been if they were respected and shown the dignity necessary for them to work out their own life alongside others? 

Do these girls have a chance?  Backyard 4/02/23

Nobody wants to see people struggle within the only church in town.  Many think they're called to interfere and counsel others toward their version of the life style that they too are trying to live as they oughta.  Might they be advising them away from the narrower good path and on towards the wider and well worn "safer" path?

They're God's kids - he desires a fully-functioning relationship with them.  Why not rest and let them be?

Just for today...

"Today I suspect that adversity has value I hadn't previously recognized.  When I face adversity and deal with my problems or express my feeling, things have a chance to improve . . . finally begun living life on life's terms."  Courage to Change (p. 139)

"He was a mechanical puppet, powered by his wife's determined will . . . it was the only way the poor man could escape from the terrible domestic powerhouse."  One Day at a Time (p. 139)

"I need to respect their right to choose, free of my interference, judgment, and control."  Hope for Today (p. 139)

"Loosen your grip; Swing straight through - Let'em live; They'll thank you."   Am I a Poet?

May 11th - Be kind to you - take it slow

The story...

I greatly appreciate every opportunity to meet with a friend where we leave our guns and armor at the front door.  No agenda, just hanging out together, sharing what's going on within life's journey and our inner man too.  It seems that it takes years to develop that type of vulnerable and trusting relationship.  I've a few relationships like that and I greatly value each of them.

Sometimes a friend's struggling with their current condition, suffering, coping, dealing with those people, or disappointed with themselves.  They seem to breathe a deep "cleansing breath" when they hear a message like: "Hey, come on, be a best friend to you, treat yourself nice; give yourself some grace man.  You know how long it takes for us to grow - be patient with you already."

God's second greatest commandment, "love your neighbor as yourself," validates the legitimacy of loving yourself as part of our foundation for living a good life.  Might I love myself as I am, not just when I'm performing up to my imagined standard of who I oughta be?  YES!  Let's give ourselves a break already.  Show you some grace like the grace that God offers.

Meaningful and lasting change takes time. In my experience, it takes about three times as long as I'd expect to make fundamental life changes.  What kind of changes am I talking about?  Developing close friendships, fully engaging within the group, living in the present, avoiding obsessive thinking, truly seeking to understand before being understood, loving those I've little affinity towards, eliminating self-defeating behaviors, avoiding even the idea of changing another person, working out the greatest commandments in actuality...

My turtle friend, from long ago, took it slow - a patient sort.

The only church in town would be characterized as kind.  Kindness and love worked out amongst real relationships within the indwelling presence of God. Whoa, who wouldn't want to be part of a group like that?

Just for today...

"I spend more time with myself than with anyone else . . . Today I will spend some time exploring the most intimate relationship I will ever have - my relationship with myself."   Courage to Change (p. 132)

"I will learn to relax my stubborn grip on sufferings and allow the solutions to unfold by themselves." One Day at a Time (p. 132)

"You do what?; Begin to see - Maybe I could; Love me be."   Am I a Poet?

May 9th - Relationships

The story...

I'm in 7th-grade wood-shop class, the class bully's walking around the shop thumping a stick in his hand.  He's the strong-tough kid that can do far more chin ups than any other kid in school. Thankfully, I'm not one of the kids that "they" picked on.  One kid was forced to give him his lunch money and others were soundly humiliated.  Now he's walking towards me, at the table saw, sharing a few laughing glances with his friends.  He's thumping a board-club in his hand - I feel trouble coming.

"Would you help me set up the table saw?  I can't get it right."  The words came from my mouth; yet, to this day, I wonder what the source of those words was.  I can remember a quick change in his countenance - he dropped the stick and helped me set up the saw.  A strange phenomena occurred yet I still don't know what happened - I can only guessed.

On the way walking back from school he yells at me from behind.  I remember thinking, "oh no, here it comes."  He catches up with me and talks to me on the way home.  The same think happened for a few weeks - he wanted to be my friend.  This strange friendship didn't last long; but, it meant a lot to me.

Relationships develop within the only church in town. The most important relationship is with God yet relationships along our life journey are worthy.  Might they develop a better sort of person who walks closer to God - trusting, abiding, and listening with a quiet an open heart?

Just for today...

"I find that reworking my way through forgiveness has freed me to move beyond my pain.  I can now establish a healthier and more intimate relationship with God. Finally, I experience wonderful freedom."  Hope for Today (p. 130)

"If I am troubled, worried, exasperated or frustrated, do I rationalize the situation and put the blame on someone else?"  One Day at a Time (p. 130)

"One way to learn to love myself is to accept the love of others."  Courage to Change (p. 130)

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself (for God did not need to create). It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”  C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves (p.71)

"Clunky friends; Good with me - Weather storms; We can be."   Am I a Poet?

May 7th - The Delivery Held Back

The story...

I worked a delivery boy job, at a drug store, for about two years while in high school.  We were paid a fixed sum each week.  If there were more deliveries than normal then I stayed late along with the pharmacists who prepared the deliveries.  On one exceptionally late night, an emotional exchange pushed me to say "I Quit."  I actually didn't get the last word fully out.  The owner said "Rommel, what did you say?"  Thankfully, I stammered and said "nothing."

I liked the job, my boss, my co-workers, the customers, and the independence that the job offered.  I'm so... thankful that I didn't fully react to the emotions that were boiling inside me.  

I looked at the store's website while writing this post. I saw: the same pharmacy counter where they assembled my deliveries, the fountain where the regulars sat on their stools and swapped stories, the front windows that I washed on Saturday afternoons...  The experiences helped develop the independent, more capable and interpersonal me.  I'm so... thankful for all of them and cherish the memories. Yes, I'm glad I held back that last emotionally laden word.

The Delivery Car - Color was actually dark green

There will be disagreements and emotionally-charged exchanges within the only church in town.  Maybe forgiveness would happen more quickly and completely since there'd be no other church to run away to.  I expect that even heated exchanges would better the people, their relationships and, more importantly, their trust in God and not "self."  I'm so... thankful that I've worked out my life with others within my church for 40+ years.  Like staying on with the drug store, I'm so thankful that I didn't run away from an emotional exchange - we worked 'em out together - "praise our Lord."

Just for today...

"What others say or do may bring up feelings, but I need to remember they are my feelings. I am responsible for what I do with them."  Hope for Today (p. 128)

"I know that improved health in one family member can have a profound effect on the rest of the family."  Courage to Change (p. 128)

"We help best by inspiring people to think through and solve their own problems." One Day at a Time (p. 128)

"You blurt out; I react quick - Fragile egos; Both feel sick."
"Say I'm sorry; I'm wiley ya know - Why expect different?; God says so."
"He redeemed us; By His powers - We're loved; Kindness showers."   Am I a Poet?