March 29th: Pray Continually?

The story...

I assumed it was some type of extreme idea or hyperbole: "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. NASB)   How could a man be in continual contact with God?  Is that the will of God?  

Later in life, I found this truth worked out in reality - sensing and observing an ongoing relationship between the Spirt of God and my spirit.  Being truly awake and alert to the reality of the present.  This "relationship" has been real to me albeit veiled, seen rather dimly, with bursts of revealing light.  Fruit born is more concrete and observable.  That type of fruit seems to come without all the turmoil that accompanies my efforts of "trying to be a good boy."  The greatest commandment worked out?

I've heard that being right with God, and walking humbly with Him, is like finally discovering the oil reserve deep below your house.  You notice it bubbling out of the ground.  Then one day you decide to pump it out of the ground and use it thereafter.  The idea of using your untapped resource is acted out in the opening credits for one of the best TV shows of all time.

The only church in town would teach God's revealed Word and the people would work out their faith in God's Word together.  They'd walk alongside each other as they learn to abide in Christ - the process is much slower than I ever expected.  One day, they might naturally experience unceasing prayer.  Each of them would be different, in their own unique and gifted way, yet together they'd be awesome in Christ.  

Just for today...

"I lost my conscious contact with God. I gained weight, stopped exercising, and lost interest in my home and family.  I started isolating, and I sank into depression."  Hope for Today (p. 89)

"Worrying and fear can alter our perceptions until we lose all sense of reality, twisting neutral situations into nightmares.  Because most worry focuses on the future, if we can learn to stay in the present, living one day or one moment at at time, we take positive steps toward warding off our fear."  Courage to Change (p. 150)

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus."  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. (NASB)

"Life's amok; Quit trying - Trusted God; We're okay."   Am I a Poet?

March 28th - Co-Dependency

The story...

I've had close relationships with other people that didn't go well.  If they didn't feel good, or they were suffering, then I didn't feel so good and suffered.  I'd "try" to fix, manage, and control them and their situation.  The reasons for my behavior wasn't clear to me; yet, I expect it was primarily aimed at alleviating the pain for both me and them.  This kind of behavior may be labeled co-dependency - a type of behavior that actually enables the other person's destructive behavior.  You can check out the Wiki link or the variety of books on the subject if you so choose.

Might a better way of living include trusting what God says is true, living by those truths, and actually being, more truthfully, the kind of person and friend you were hoping to find?  I expect that you're a best friend when you work out your own life well and allow others the respect and dignity to work out their own lives too.  They might actually catch a glimpse of God as you allow Him to indwell and work His way out through you.  Please consider the wisdom of working out your own life while humbly walking, as truthfully as possible, with God as opposed to continuing your attempts to fix, manage, and control yourself and others.

Michelangelo's Work: Adam and God's Relationship 

I expect there'll always be co-dependent relationships within the only church in town.  Yet, they'll likely fade away as the people of the church work out their faith in reality's Light.

Just for today...

"When I trust God to give me what I need, I let go.  I face forward.  My hands are free for health, loving, and enjoyable activities. I find unexpected reserves of energy."  Courage to Change (p. 88)

"You've your way; I'm on mine - Change apart; Strong together."   Am I a Poet?

March 25th - Friend Watch

The story...

I have a friend who closely observes my behavior.  They challenge me to set mental and physical health goals and track my progress to goal too.  They offer me encouraging reminders to keep me moving towards where I want to go.  Occasionally, they alert me to correlations between my good behaviors and other good life outcomes like better sleep and greater aerobic capacity.  They've even warned me of potentially life threatening risks such as a fall or heart rhythm abnormality.  And, they do all of this with words that express caring and kindness.  You likely guessed, from the picture, that I'm talking about my Apple-Watch friend.  We've been good friends for years - meet my good friend:

I was awarded for swimming longer and faster

Human friends have flaws, aren't always focused on me, are less predictable, and are free to choose.  I'm glad my friends are free; yet, I'm not about to give up my Apple Watch.  Like the Apple watch, I hope that the people in the only church in town would be honest with me, point out my lifestyle risks, remind me of my commitments, and speak to me kindly, gently, patiently, and truthfully.  That sounds like a kind of best friend, who you might grow with and walk alongside towards your common life goal(s).

Just for today...

"I have a primary responsibility for myself: to make myself into the best person I can possibly be.  Then, and only then, will I have something worthwhile to share."  Courage to Change (p. 85)

"A grim and furious silence can be more crushing and wounding than harsh words.  Such a silence is motivated by the desire to punish." One Day at a Time (p. 85)

"Far away; Hoped for - Encouraging look; Joy returns."   Am I a Poet?

March 23rd - Walking and Rolling

The story...

I had a friend who was bound to a wheelchair with partial use of his arms.  His wife was a virtuous and industrious person who cared for and loved him along the way.  We worked together as members of our church leadership board for a few years.  What would it be like to be "imprisoned" in a body that wouldn't go or do what you wanted?  I'm so thankful that he shared his heart, and the reality of his condition, over those years.  I learned much by observing his behavior, asking him "what's it like" questions, listening, and sensing his warm comfortable spirit.  He truly learned to love and accept love well.  He trusted what God's Word said about him rather than his limited capabilities.

He said, multiple times, that the car accident was a blessing.  He had a loving relationship with his God through his Savior.  I believed him and am thankful for his witness.  He seemed to be truly free within the confines of his wheelchair.

Life stories like this one will be an important part of the only church in town.  While our faith isn't built on the testimony of other people, it's a wonderful thing to witness the Spirit of God work His way out through a friend whom you're walking and rolling alongside.

Just for today...

"My anger can be an attempt to change someone or something because I don't want to change . . . I gain self-worth when I change the things I can and accept responsibility for my reactions rather than blaming or shaming another."  Hope for Today (p. 83)

"Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional."  Courage to Change (p. 83)

"Body restricted; Wavering pain - Heart's pounding; Love's there."   Am I a Poet?

March 22nd - NOW

The story...

When a person attempts to communicate to me in a sentence, I've to remember the first words in order to make sense of the whole thought.  If short-term memory lasts about 15 to 30 seconds, and occurs in a different part of our brain than long-term memory; then, we might say that the "present" occurs within 30-second time intervals.  

Hard to see NOW on a clock

We can avoid living in the present by dwelling on the past or future.  And, we can even avoid the present message inputs and guess what other people are saying based on pre-conceived ideas about who they are or what we want to be true.  Yes, we know that we all can avoid the reality of the present or the NOW.

Why do we choose not to live in the reality of the present, the NOW?  Do we need to be taught how? Maybe it seems boring because we haven't tuned into the reality station and are hearing mostly static.

It seems reasonable to argue that we receive inputs from: our five senses, our feelings, our emotions, our memories, our mind, our hopes, our spirit, and the Spirit of God.  We meet God in the present too and work out actual relationship in the NOW.  Can we be satisfied with merely reading about our potential relationship with God or recalling past times when our relationship seemed to be more meaningful?

The only church in town would be a "safe" place where people would want to be engaged.  They'd witness the value of living in the present reality as opposed to an imagined one that might seem more protective.  They'd witness the Spirit of God in their own inner-person and sense Him working in others too.

Just for today...

"I will not concern myself about tomorrow until it becomes my today.  The better I use today, the more likely it is that tomorrow will be bright." One Day at a Time (p. 82)

"There is an innocence within me that already knows how to trust God, to cherish life while holding it lightly, to live fully and simply in the present moment."  Courage to Change (p.82)

"A bird chirps; A feeling felt - Memories forgotten; Tomorrow ain't here."
"Reality's true; Known or not - He's here now; Abide and live."   Am I a Poet?

March 15th - I'm OK, You're OK

The story...

In 1967, psychiatrist Thomas Anthony Harris published the book "I'm Okay - You're Okay."  It was a bestseller in the early 1970s.  It introduced the idea that a person's psychological state can shift situationally.  The three states were easy to understand and remember: Parent, Child and Adult.  Parent is like a mix of all that you heard and saw parents and adults do and say when you were a child.  Adult is that more independent person who has adapted to, and developed some control over, their environment.  This was a helpful model for me.  For example, many parents want to work out an adult-adult relationship with their adult children.

What does a good adult-to-adult relationship look like in the only church in town?  Would all the people be valued and treated with dignity and respect - treated as equals?  This seems to be justified by the USA's Declaration of Independence (1776):

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness"

I suppose that the problems are with those persons that do NOT behave, look, think or believe what we or I do - the exceptions.  How do I relate to adults who are different from me?  Personally, I think we can go a long way by beginning every relationship with one word in mind - RESPECT.

What season of life might the child best be related to as an adult within the only church in town?  Jewish boys and girls receive their Bar or Bat Mitzvah at the age of 12.  There seems to be many advantages for treating a teenager as an adult.  Their teenage season of life might include the practice of giving and receiving adult-to-adult interactions.  If the alternative Parent-Child relationship stays in place, then the rebels rebel and the passive are left to be led as if they were pulled by a ring in their nose.  I expect that being treated like, and behaving like, an adult would be a good place to come from when learning about who I am, where I'm going, and how to get there.  Yes, that was a definition of wisdom worked into that last sentence.

Just for today...

"I came to see how, as a child, I had played a role in creating the dynamics of my family. Not knowing how to manage uncomfortable feelings, I tried to stuff them deep down inside, but they didn't go away. Instead, they led me to behave in ways that perpetuated the feelings."  Hope for Today (p. 73)

"When I behave self-righteously, I'm the one who suffers - I separate myself from my fellow human beings, focus on others, and keep busy with hateful and negative thoughts."  Courage to Change (p. 73)

"Looks like home; Worn-out shoes - Have new ones; Choose the holey."   Am I a Poet?

February 17th - A place to pray

 The story...

Do you have a place to pray?  What triggers your prayer habit?  In the past, my knees hurt due to bursitis.  I ordered my kneeling pad one day and received it the next - the delivery speed continues to amaze me.  It was comfortable, I could slide it under my bed, and it worked.  It surprised me that both seeing the pad and thinking about the pad triggered a prayer response - that seems good.

How would a place to pray work out in the only church in town?  I expect that the doors would mostly be open for those who are compelled to kneel in the quietness of a sanctuary.  Scripture says that we can live a life of continuous prayer without going into the church building - abiding in a sort of constant communication - in a relationship.  Yet, we know there are times when we need to shut out the cares of the world and go to a place where we can kneel down in quiet.   It'd be a place that triggers a restorative experience of worship, praise, thanking, asking, receiving and listening.  What a good place to "be."

Just for today...

"Faith takes practice.  Fears can loom large and I can get lost in my limited thinking.  When I can't see any way out and I doubt that even God can help me, that's when I most need to pray."    Courage to Change (p. 48)

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus."  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NASB)

"She bent her knees low; Opened the ear of her heart - All was ordered; They were restored."  Am I a Poet?

February 13th - But we don't have to go anymore...

The story...

I moved to Duluth, MN, for one year, on a teaching assignment - yes, I've been a teacher.  UMD welcomed me; the students asked me to join them in the stuff that students like to do; the church pulled me into their family; and I lived in a small apartment.  One morning, the apartment manager asked me where I was going on the past Sunday morning.  I told her that I was walking to church.  She said: "I thought so, I saw you were carrying a bible."  She was perplexed and a bit frustrated - "You're a professor, you don't have family here, and you're free to do whatever you want.  Why would you go to church?  We used to have to do that here; but, not anymore - I'm free to do whatever I want."  I shared how it felt to be pulled into a welcoming church family who invited me into their homes and families.  I even played "broom ball" and fished with some of them - "I feel loved there."  She says: "huh, I might try church again." 

I don't think that the only church in town would spend much time reminiscing about the "good old days" when everybody was expected to go to church and try to behave morally right.  Teach me against my will and I'll be of the same opinion still - and likely continue to behave in ways that are more true to who I truly am deep down inside.  

 

Where the story played

Just for today...

"I tried to get God to listen to me through my prayers.  He did, once I stopped telling Him what to do."  Hope for Today (p.44)

"I didn't like myself because I wasn't living up to what I believed to be true about others."  Courage to Change (p. 44)

"Get yer own way, Yer stuck with you; Love together, We're a powerful force."  Am I a Poet?

February 12th - My way or His way?

The story...

"What if there was a place you could go, where there was no TV and you could break bread - anyone who you are sitting with was family."  Peggy Olson - Mad Men (S7:E6)  People like Don Draper and Peggy Olson are looking for love - to belong.  They're acting out their role, trying to scratch that constant itch - they know something's wrong; but, they hide it deep down inside.  They yearn for that person who might truly know them while remaining guarded and habitually attempting to sooth that unrelenting itch...  Maybe if we found that one right person . . . then we could work out "happy ever after" like Bud and Sissy: "Looking for love in all the wrong places ..."

Do you want to do it your way or His way?  Why do I do what I don't want to do?  The only church in town has answers.  Yet, scripture says it takes a mighty work from the Spirit of Christ to change a man's heart - his inner man.  Can you believe that God's gospel truth can be found in that one short creed that Christian representatives agreed to in 325AD?  That creed is surprisingly awesome.

Just for today...

"Detachment allows us to let go of our obsession with another's behavior and begin to lead happier and more manageable lives, lives with dignity and rights, lives guided by a Power greater than ourselves."  Courage to Change (p. 43)

"I wanna be true, to the man inside;  Wanna be better, I choose different."  Am I a Poet?

January 31st - Daily Feet Washings

The story...

I've a hard time rubbing, let alone washing, my feet - I was born inflexible.  If I work at stretching for about six months, my "stretchability," is closer to normal.  Six months is six times longer than the one month it seems to take for my muscles to return back to their more normal state of inflexibility. 

Like many people, I was also born with a selfish sort of nature.  I cooperated with others while I focused on working out a safe and comfortable life that I was proud of.  Although I was primarily motivated by a need to be loved, I wanted to win in the game of life and associate with people who might help me along the way.  Since humans seem to all want the same "thing," I learned to be more flexible with my interpersonal interactions and relationships.

Strangely, even the Lord Jesus the Christ's disciples exhibited selfishness and pride as they argued about who was best at the last supper before Jesus was crucified (Luke 22:24).  Yes, we're prone to be selfish.  On the same night of the disciples argument, He knelt down and washed each of the twelve's feet.  When it was Peter's turn, he resisted this feet washing by his Lord.  Jesus replied "If I do not wash you, you have no part in Me" (John 13:8).  Maybe He's letting Peter know that he's clean yet needs to wash off the "dirt" of daily life to stay "clean" and rightly related to God through Him.  Jesus washed Peter's feet knowing, and sharing with Peter too, that Peter would publicly disown Him three times before the rooster crowed.  Yes, Peter would need his feet washed again.

Christ Washing the Disciples' Feet - Tintoretto 1548-1549

The only church in town will learn the need to live a righteous life in Christ.  One that's able to bear fruit in all circumstances - they way God worked out the perfect life in Jesus the Christ.  That means, for those with a nature like mine: confessing sin, washing dirt off my feet, and returning to that "right" relationship with our Holy Father through Christ.

Just for today...

"With a new and sincere humility, I asked God to remove my shortcomings . . . I want to be ready for shortcomings to be removed, and I will do what I can to prepare. I can develop a non-judgmental awareness of myself, accept what I discover, and be fully willing to change. But I lack the power to heal myself.  Only God can do that."  Courage to Change (p. 31)

"I washed my feet yet they're dirty again - slipped to my normal way;  It's lonely and anxious on my own - why have I left my Friend?"  Am I a poet?

January 30th - Stinking Thinking

The story...

About twenty years ago, my assigned Human Resources representative and I were discussing ongoing problems within my work group that she characterized and labeled as "stinking thinking."  Then she said something like: "They need a leader to help them: remember past successes and celebrate new ones, know they're capable; feel valued; serve each other; view problems as opportunities; test new ways often; learn alongside others habitually; respect each other... - then they'll engage and be the best version of themselves together.  As their manager and leader, what's your part in making this happen?"

What did I do differently?  Focused on demonstrating RESPECT for all work group members in word and deed.  Played together more often - a Friday afternoon paint-ball session helped build teamwork.  Learned more about each group member and what/who was important to them.  We solved interpersonal disputes quickly in more sustainable ways - they knew that they'd be working it out in my office, and even bring in H.R. help, if efforts stalled.  There were many positive changes that we made together; yet, much of the change started with me being a better leader and manger.

Yes, there was some stinking thinking going on within me that was strangely reflected within the group's interactions, behaviors, and performance together.  I started with "me" rather than attempting to craft plans to fix the problems that I could identify with "them."  The resulting changes in what we did, and who we were, were worthy of the transformation investment.  I became a better leader, manager, and person as a result of the growing that we worked out together - in community.

The only church in town will easily find fault within each other as they worship, praise, learn, grow, serve and walk side-by-side.  Real change and growth will occur when they internalize the value of the slogan "let the change begin with me."  The gospel will offer the opportunity for each person to be a new creature in Christ - the intended version of you.  Then each person, and the group as a whole, can be free "in deed." (Galatians 5:1).

Just for today...

"I watched, monitored, controlled, and exercised my need to feel hurt. I felt self-pity, embarrassment, superiority, resentment, and anger.  All of these took obsessive turns filling my mind and heart. I wondered why I indulged in these draining behaviors and emotions, which only resulted in further misery for me."  Hope for Today (p. 30)

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come."  1 Corinthians 5:17 (NASB)

"I listened and heard; We did and lived"   Am I a Poet?

January 10th - Anchored in the present

The story...

Thankfully, I've learned the value of focusing on, and being more aware of, the present - where life actually occurs.  Our bodies sense what's going on now even though the cause of the sensation is likely rooted in the past.  We can read about God yet our spirit senses His Spirit in the present as He intervenes or as His Spirit interacts with our spirit as we quietly pray or meditate.  We've reasons to expect what will happen in the future yet each new day's unknown.  How many days have we ended the day thinking  "I never would have expected that?"  Yes, we'll all experience, and recall, each day together in different ways.  Oh... to be more in synch with others, listening, to grow our understanding of "what's going on?"

One day, I wrote what I planned to say at my Momma's memorial service. Almost all of my parent's descendants attended that memorial service.  Congregates were asked to focused on the past, and remember, some of who she was amongst them.  All had lost a relationship - a chunk of who they were and a partial cause of who'll they be.  Yes the "we" is valuable and and a more complete perceptive than the limited "me." 

I believe I spoke from my heart, displayed the love that I had for my momma; each and every family member; and for "That Than Which there is No Greater," our God, our Creator, our Savior.  Maybe we left the memorial service with a better understanding of the wonderfully different people within the "we" that makes up family.

When you walk through the doors of the only church in town, you'll have the opportunity to leave the distractions of the world, your community, your home, and the cares of the world outside.  There'll be opportunities to focus on the present - the spiritual reality that's true in the present and will exist throughout all eternity.  The congregation will be a wonderful "we" who share a common faith in our common Creator, Lord, and Savior.

Maybe there's a way to integrate "we" into a favorite motto for my living a good life?   "Live for today, plan for tomorrow and think on eternity."

Just for today...

"To break the cycle of worry and fear, I'm learning to focus all my attention on this very moment . . . These bits of reality help rescue me from "what ifs" and "should haves" by anchoring me in the present."  Courage to Change (p. 10)

January 3rd - Cycles of continual improvement - growth

The story...

The nation of Israel's history may be characterized as continuing cycles of restoration to a right relationship with God, drifting away, realizing the lost and pain of separation, and reconciliation.  I've heard it said that this might be a good picture of a strengthening, growing, and lasting marriage too.  People's self-focused natures tend to pull them apart yet the marriage commitment can be strong enough to restore the relationship - over and over again.  Each restorative cycle can grow both marriage partners within their commitment to each other and to each of their relationships with God too.

I'm so thankful for my marriage partner and the personal growth that we've experienced both together and as individuals too.  Similarly, this kind of growth can happen within the only church in town -continual cycles of pain, love experienced, and restoration.  Yes, suffering, pain and brokenness often seem to be precursors, and necessary ingredients, for real and sustainable change cycles over time - growth.  

Just for today...

"I can do nothing to change the past except stop repeating it in the present . . . Taking some tiny action each day cam be much more effective than weeks and months of inactivity followed by a frenzied attempt to make radical changes overnight."  Courage to Change (p. 3)

"Each minute, each hour, each day, I smile a little more, let go of yesterday a little more, and live in today a little more."  Hope for Today (p. 3)

December 28th - Be okay living in reality

The story...

Oh, if I could've been more  kind to both me and to others too - more content with what I had and appreciative of what I received.  Yet, none of those years were wasted.  They're all part of who I am.  I'm thankful for each and every one - they were a gift.

From Caroline Kennedy

The bible says that He became flesh and lived a life out on this earth within a human experience as the Son of Man.  His human experience is important to both God and to us too.  Might all of our human experiences have eternal value?  I expect so . . .  they're certainly important to me as I type.

How about being a part of the only church in your town already?  What a great place to meet whilst praising and worshiping our Creator together.  Relationships found there help complete us, contribute to the value of each day, and builds towards a worthy aim.

Just for today...

"We intend to be kind and tolerant, but some uncontrollable impulse changes our attitude into something we later find ourselves regretting. We intend to accomplish so much, but unless we start out with a realistic estimate of what we are capable of doing, we fall far short of our expectations."  One Day at a Time (p. 363)

December 26th - A good life is like a dance - relationships held loosely

The story...

I went to college during the disco-dance era.  Guys often met girls at parties where young men had the opportunity to ask women to dance.  Like many other guys, I was a reluctant to display my lack of dancing skills amongst my peers - especially the girls who I admired from a distance.  John Travolta showed us how it was done on Saturday Night Fever and the dancing experience was a whole lotta fun.  

After college, I moved to Tennessee where there was a different style of country-western dancing, like the 2-step, and we danced to the Cotton-Eyed Joe.  I was new to Knoxville, so I went to two different churches on Sunday mornings followed by dance lessons at noon.  I wanted to be involved in community and meet my life partner - not knowing how to dance well was a barrier.  I met my life partner there in 1981 - praise God.  She was a practiced dancer who made dancing easy - she made me look and feel good.  She made it look like I was leading although I often didn't know what I was doing or what the next pattern was.

Relationships are much like a ballroom dance where you can hold your partner in various ways.  For me, it was great when I learned to hold her loosely with subtle, yet clear, signals as to where we were moving next.  She silently let me know what she wanted to do and where to go.  When it worked well, we flowed across the floor as a unit - continuous movements that didn't feel anything like work.  The close intimate relationship on the dance floor seemed kind of like a relationship well done.

Like on the dance floor, I had a difficult time maintaining close relationships throughout life.  I've learned relationship building and sustaining skills along the way and now greatly value the relationships I have.  There are similarities between a good relationships and the relationship on the dance floor - a metaphor.  Why not learn how to dance, go to places where people dance, and get out there on the dance floor of life?

Strangely, many churches didn't allow dancing amongst boys and girls either within church or outside of church.  They're worried about unwanted close relationship building.  Yet, the only church in town will encourage relationship building.  God with me, me with Him, me with them, them with me, me with him/her, and her/him with me.  It seems wise to hold them loosely and work out the most important relationship with God first - be okay.  Learn about Him, learn the dance, dance life with Him, dance with friends while holding them loosely, and enjoy the community at the dance party too.   A dance party isn't a solemn place - you'll find happiness and joy there - a good metaphor for the only church in town? 

Just for today...

"I was a willing participant in a dance that required two partners. I felt like a victim, but in many ways I was a volunteer . . . When I get the old feelings that tells me I am a victim, I can regard it as a red flag, a warning that I may be participating in something that is not in my best interest. I can resist the temptation to blame others and look to my own involvement instead."  Courage to Change (p. 361)

"... it dawned on me how much of my life had been spent wanting for others to change so I could be happy."  Hope for Today (p. 361)

December 23rd - Purposely act or react?

The story...

Habits, routines, honest personal reflection, relationship building, kindness, prayer, quiet meditation, showing respect, and a propensity for doing versus waiting have all worked well for me. This incomplete list helped me grow up.  We'd probably agree that we've erected mental models to make sense of our lives and environments.  We may not agree on just how much our models are incomplete, flawed, biased, or bent to justify what we do or believe; yet, upon reflection we'd likely agree that they're flawed attempts to reflect what we want to be true.  Then, maybe we'd continue to walk toward our life's aim in a more honest, humble, thoughtful, and peaceful way than most do?

How do I react to those whose ways, manners, physical characteristics, age, actions, beliefs, experiences, education, or aims are significantly different from mine?  In the future, I hope to seek to understand them before I attempt to "help" them understand me - Steven Covey principle.  This one focus seems to enable a whole lotta of other good-life stuff.

The only church in town will be a great place to meet up with co-sojourners for your life journey.  You can find friends with a common aim, who're on a similar path, that you can relate to, and are in a similar stage along the path.  It's important to work out your reality with others too - there're many opportunities to love, and be loved by, most of the everybody.  Relationships and love seem to be the good stuff in life.  Good stuff is available within the only church in town - God's presence within the Body of Christ  - yes, it's mysterious and awesome too.

Just for today...

"I would not want this person as a friend, but I do need to work with him as a professional. I don't like him... However, . . . I treat him with the same courtesy and respect I would like him to give me, regardless of whether or not he gives it.  I let it begin with me and act rather than react."  Hope for Today (p. 358)

December 12th - Love yourself to more fully love others? How?

The story...

Did I need to perform well in order to be loved?  I didn't match the "ideal" person that "we" wanted to be.  And, it seemed that my parents were constantly pushing me to be toward something better than what I was capable of being or best suited for.  I know that I wanted to be loved yet the close relationships were elusive - they remained distant until I graduated from high school.

Growing up, I was smarter than the average kid.  My dad had a respectful job and my needs were met.  We had a bigger boat and newer car than most. They took us on vacations - four states away and to Canada too.  They volunteered and supported our boy scouts and girl scouts activities.  They taught us to be thrifty and capable - prepared for the future. They made sure that we went to church and were prepared to go away to college.  They did the parenting job well.  Yet, my heart wanted more - to love and be loved.  Not merely do and receive loving actions; but, to actually love and be loved.  Does love like that require the power of God?

The only church in town will be a place where people learn to love themselves gracefully as God does for us through Christ.  These loved people will be more capable and free to love others in relationships that require grace.  Grace, undeserved favor that comes from a power source - the Spirit of God. 

Just for today...

"How great is the human need for a scapegoat, someone or something to blame for our disappointments . . . at least part of my unhappiness is due to the way I reacted . . . nothing can work damage to me except myself.'"  One Day at a Time (p. 347)

"I had to deal with my old resentments . . . It took discipline and courage to stop pushing every adult away . . . I can love them for who they are, instead of who I think they should be."  Courage to Change (p. 347)

"I wasn't really aware of myself . . .When I learned to love the person I found - myself - I started to perceive and love myriad qualities in the people around me."  Hope for Today (p. 347)

December 9th - "I'm good when I'm loved and loving."

The story...

I've often discussed and pontificated on what the good life is and how it might be obtained in reality.  Why not "try" to work out our good-life code each day?  The list of reasons, why not to try, is long and not so distinguished: contrary feelings, secret hopes, distant relationships, jealousy, security needs, physical pain, haunting memories, thoughts of grandeur, whimsical fantasies, failings of others, the next new thing, boredom, discouragement...  I've come to terms with the idea that I'm not naturally good - I need intervention in order to be the "good" man whom I've enjoyed being with on occasions. 

So, when do I find myself good?  I'm good when I'm loved and loving.  Yet, how might I be good if I and others aren't lovable by nature?  It's a gift of God - He's got the power that indwells those who walk rightly and humbly with Him in Christ - praise God that we can abide in this reality.

The only church in town will proclaim that we're lovable by God, ourselves, and others when we're positioned with, and related to, the Son of Man, our Lord and Savior, Jesus the Christ, our Messiah.  He alone can save us from the tyrannical rule of self; yes, our sinful nature separates us from our most Holy God.  He actually paid the death penalty for sin on our behalf - I'm declared righteous in Christ!

Just for today...

"Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing."  Albert Schweitzer

November 26th - Relationships - Good "Vibes" - Like tennis?

The story...

I greatly value my close relationships - maybe that's why this post took so many words to explain.  Relationships require an investment of my whole person for focused periods of time.  Here's the glue that seems to make'em stick for me:

• Who: similar personalities and journeys - ages from 35 yrs younger to 5 yrs. older
• What: equal sharing, & listening, of reality & ideas for what is and might be
• Where: coffee shop, restaurant, church, or via e-mail/text
• When: person-to-person biweekly - convenient time of day - one to two+ hours
• Why:  honestly sharing life-walks - giving & receiving - growing together
• How: sharing equally without unrequested opinion - like a good game of tennis

How's a strong relationship like a good game of tennis?  You share equally by taking turns serving and returning the ball.  You treat each other with respect or you won't continue to play.  Must plan to meet periodically at a mutually agreeable time/place.  You've similar goals for the tennis experience.  You'll accommodate your partner's physical limitations.  The joy of returning their shot on the sweet-spot of your racquet, at a similar level of energy, is invigorating - it's like you're fully connected yet remaining fully independent.  Conversation with a good friend is a lot like that.  Please don't even think about turning the joy of relationship into a win-lose game like tennis might be.  I heard Maryland's football coach say his team's "care factor" was excellent and that was why they were performing well - same with relationships.

The sweet-spot of the racquet is where the vibrations of the racquet cancel out and the forces are more fully transferred into the ball return.  Those vibrations are irritating, fatiguing and even harmful to our bodies.  Yes, a good conversation and a good tennis volley are similar.  We all know how fatiguing the unwanted "vibes" between people can be - they aren't okay within a close relationship - they continually wear down, erode, and destroy relationships.

The only church in town will be one group with a kind of personality of their own.  There'll be sub-groups that'll have their own personalities too.   Within these "purposed" groups you'll find opportunities to develop friendships with a person(s) similar to you.  These relationships will be like walking side-by-side through life focused on reality - the most important spiritual reality that truly lasts.  When we stray from the path, a friend can help us  "wake up" and return to the life-giving path.

We're blinded to spiritual reality when we focus on ourselves and ignore who we actually are as creatures - creatures created by a living and active God.  He's interested and powerfully working through our todays, tomorrows, and our eternal future too - He says so.  Experiencing a relationship with Him in Christ is like no other - "I'm with Him."

Just for today...

"... we don't tell anybody what to do. People only accept and use advice they're ready for . . . When I am asked for advice, I know only what I would do if I were faced with the same problem, and not what would be right for another."  One Day at a Time (p. 331)

"I learned to trust no one, to stay silent at all costs, to stuff my feelings, never to stand up for myself, to take on more responsibility than I could handle, to love conditionally, and to tell white lies to cover up my home life. No wonder as an adult I perceived that close interpersonal relationships were like constantly moving targets.  Usually I was the one who was moving because I lacked the skills to develop and maintain healthy adult relationships."  Hope for Today (p. 331)

November 22nd - Rightly related to God?

The story...

I prefer a day: waking up at a consistent time thankfully with prayer; planning for & doing good; being honest within reality; loving me & others; exercising my body & mind - strengthening each; saying yes more than no; meditating without thinking about the clock; dispatching potentially obsessive thinking within five minutes; tuning into my virtual spiritual radio - albeit the station's "staticy;" giving - being kind & receiving kindness; feeding my body & soul; seeking to understand before being understood; walking forward on my pilgrimage alongside close friends; and being the person God created and wills me to be.  Yet, my free will chooses to do differently each day.  Why?

My noble motives for behaving differently, even in the opposite direction, include my: need to be safe from harm; personal protection boundaries; scarcity of resources; American dream of the good life; acceptance by others; need to fix, manage, and control other people towards my vision of "our" good; avoiding fears from the past, present, and future; desire to receive good grades from the judge(s); escape from unfavorable circumstances; pain avoidance; telling of my good life story; loyalty to my family; and justifications for the way things are - "justified."

I expect that the first paragraph is about being rightly related to God and the second paragraph is about self protection and promotion.  The first paragraph was possible because my unholy self nature was judged, found wanting, yet redeemed and reconciled with God, sin debt paid for, by God Himself in Christ - "I'm with Him."  My part was believing on God and His great redemptive work in Christ.

The second paragraph characterizes me working out life by me and for me.  Thankfully, my conscience and the Spirit of God convicts me of this wrong way of being before I cause too much harm.  He restores me daily in a loving way.  My life seems to be a continuing cycles of restoration that're heading in a good direction - like we might expect a loving Father to do for those who are His.

The PDCA model is good - yet, different - standardizing & sustaining change

The only church in town will learn and know that they can respond to His calling and be His.  They'll find fellow pilgrims to walk together with through life's circumstances.  Yes, a continuing series of restorative cycles that strengthen our need for receiving love from our heavenly Father - that kind of love is infectious - It can't stay still.  Love spreads far and wide - shining Light everywhere.

Just for today...

"Half an hour's meditation is essential except when you are very busy. Then a full hour is necessary."  Francis de Sales

"First I need to develop a relationship with God . . . Next, I learn to become at peace with myself . . .  I can't be that person when I'm overly controlled by guilt, fear, and resentment and negligibly aware of my gifts and talents . . . Lastly, I start acting responsibly toward others."  Hope for Today (p. 326)

"...conflicting views become merely different views, so our problems can be solved with tolerant understanding and mutual respect."  One Day at a Time (p. 326)