April 9th: Embarrassed and Guarded

The story...

We were enjoying a vacation in the Florida Keys - seated at a table about twenty feet in front of the mic.  It's a comedy club and the "comedian" was taking "stinging" jabs at targeted people in the crowd.  I leaned over to my best friend and said "I can't believe that I'm a fully-capable adult yet I don't feel safe enough to get up from this chair and walk to that men's room."  What did I fear?   This was far away from home and I'd likely never see any of these people again.  The guy was clearly acting out his role as the comedian.  What messages did I fear he might send?  

The vacation scene

I must have a long list of personal messages that I don't want to hear.  And, I suppose there're many more "funny" critiques that might embarrass me.  Yet, the degree that I might be embarrassed seems to negatively correlate with the degree that I fell okay about myself - my condition.  For me, my condition is best when I am bearing fruit, e.g.: actually being kind, consistently praying/meditating, and walking humbly/honestly with God in Christ.   However, even in my best condition, as a fellow human, I can be hurt by others.  Some of my sharpest stings are self critiques.  Therefore, I find myself relying on my old armor for protection - that guardedness that keeps us more distant, yet protected, from others. 

How might the only church in town be more of a "No Armor Needed" zone?  I've witnessed armor-free zones within community; so, I hope that most people would find small groups where they feel more accepted and loved just as they are.  The full-church community will be significantly safer than my comedy club experience; yet regretfully, I expect that people will still need some type of armor just to get along - we're all works in progress.

Just for today...

"I take into account how affected I am by my past when I meet people who seem difficult, and I try to give them a break." Hope for Today (p. 100)

"The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them."  Courage to Change (p. 100)

"Painful experiences come from the thorns that wound us; they make us forget they also have roses." One Day at a Time (p. 100)

"They're the same; I'm different - That's why; I'm alone."
"Safely alone; Wilting away - Rightly positioned; Mostly wrong."
"He's great; I'm not - I'm in Him; We're powerful."    Am I a Poet?

April 8th - Rule of Thumb - Go Left

The story...

When guessing the path that another person took, Jack Reacher always chose to turn left - counter clockwise.  Why?  Most people are right handed.  Yet most left-handed and right-handed are right-footed.  With no other information available, the average person will kick out their right leg and begin to turn counter clockwise.  This is a "Reacher" rule-of-thumb, heuristic, for decision making.

If you're following me, you'd soon find that I'm a predictable person who likes to follow comfortable patterns.  Thankfully, I'm also a curious sort who's willing to try on new ideas and ways of looking at things.  Yes, I'm what some would call a "life long learner." 

Some things are "too good" to be true so we may either accept it blindly or reject the dish without a taste.  Like the following situation from the Seinfeld series:

When Newman finds out that the no-fat yogurt store is shut down because the delectable yogurt truly has fat - he blames the people who exposed the façade.  He directs anger towards those who knocked down his "house of cards."

The only church in town's standard would be truths that God has revealed.  Reality often run contrary with our desire to satisfy ourselves by eating as much no-fat yogurt as we want.  We may choose to surround ourselves with those who also "buy in" to the no-fat yogurt ruse - everybody's okay as long as the ruse remains unexposed.  God's Word shines the light of truth on our thinking and behavior to expose the self-absorbed life condition for what it truly is.   It seems we can only find real satisfaction through justice and loving kindness while walking humbly with God in Christ (Micah 6:8).

Is today a good day to see what condition your condition is in? 

Just for today...

"There can be great value in examining the past. It can offer information about the present, as well as clues that might help us make changes for a better future . . . Still, it is important to remember that the past is over.  We are powerless over what has gone before."  Courage to Change (p. 99)

"Sometimes I would rather deny that a decision needs to be made than to tolerate the discomfort that comes with participating in the decision-making processes . . . I grew up seeing the extremes of decision-making - dominance and lack of participation."  Hope for Today (p. 99)

"You like A;  Why choose B? - MayBe better; Come and see."
"It's clunky; Fumble through - Not the best; Don't like new."   Am I a Poet?

April 7th - I've met the enemy

 The story...

A friend of mine shared regrets for how he's behaved in some group situations.  He wills to behave differently; yet, repeatedly returns to his frustrating patterns.  He believes the behaviors are triggered by something inside.  Trying to behave differently doesn't seem to work.  Then he often reasonably concludes: "It's just the way I'm wired."  

Are we inherently selfish?  Some counter that we're instinctively cooperative.  Are our responses shaped by our genes, environment or related experiences? 

I do know that my nature, and related behaviors, are different when I'm walking humbly and trusting what God's revealed - "what's going on."  After I drift towards an unfruitful search for "self" satisfaction then I agree with Mick Jagger: "I can't get no satisfaction."

I hope that the only church in town would be filled with more realistic people who view and accept themselves and others as they are: honest about themselves; thankful for what they have; walking humbly with God...   People may think that they oughta be a more satisfied version of themselves - one that they feel a need to act out and claim to be true. 

In a more realistic view of life, I might acknowledge the truth that I don't want to invite people to church community when my focus is on me.  If I put my trust in God, might I open up the opportunity for God to invite people to church through me? 

Just for today...

"I am the sum total of all that has gone before, both painful and pleasurable, so everything I've experienced has value . . . Certain events had to occur before changes could be made . . .  If situations had gone my way, I would not be enjoying the things that bring me pleasure today."  Hope for Today (p. 98)

"Prune me, Shape me - Any way; You want me - You and me, We're alright."    Am I a Poet?  (Song thief?)

April 6th - The Rifleman

The story...

I knew a guy, from my dorm floor in college, who I coined the nickname: "The Rifleman."  The nickname stuck and we became pretty-good friends.  We both received hand-held Coleco football games for Christmas.

We began a friendly competition of scoring the most points on the skill-level-1 setting.  I'd set the record and he'd break it the next day.  Other people knew about our "game" and would mention the Rifleman's new high score while passing me on campus - "No way!"  I found that vibrating the button with the eraser-end of a pencil was a good way to speed the red blip across the screen.  He copied me and even improved my method.  I tried a variety of pencil erasers to get the best "action."  Inevitably, he'd break each of my records.  My behavior degraded to the point that I found myself in my dorm room, in the middle of a school day, sweating as I attempted to get that more perfect game.  That day, a good friend of mine barged into my room.  She was met by my anxious call to "don't bother me now, I've got a good one going!"  She said loudly and directly, "look what you're turning into, do you really want to live like this?"  To my surprise, I was able to see my behavior, in the light of day, and was a bit disgusted with how far I drifted off course - that was the end of my battle with the Rifleman.

How will people in the only church in town know if they're running fast, maybe recklessly, in the wrong direction?  I'd hope that a leader, or good friend, would recognize that their behavior's outside the will of God and kindly communicate the message - shine light on the truth.  For me, it seems that I need to be confronted more directly - others may need a more subtle and sensitive approach.

Just for today...

"I used humor as a manipulative tool to get people to like me.  My witty comments were carefully timed.  My sense of humor wasn't spontaneous or appropriate.  I used it to please people.  When no one was around to please, however, I was miserable and self-loathing."  Hope for Today (p. 97)

"Running empty; Gotta be better - Passed the good; Illusive peace."   Am I a Poet?

April 5th - Do we really need a rule?

The story...

Maybe it's because I grew up in a small town where parking was free and plentiful - I resent parking permits and meters.  I freed my bike from the campus lock with bolt cutters; I pled my ticket case in front of the campus security board; and I found a way to not pay my parking tickets before I graduated.  Instead, I wrote a check for same amount owed to the "Alumni Fund" and mailed it to Campus Security - "You're never going to get the money for those tickets!"  My dad was shocked when he saw my name listed as one of the larger Alumni donors that year.  

I've lived too much of my life rebelling against systems that didn't seem to work best for me - "unfair."  Like many, I likely grew up self focused and less concerned about other people or the community at large.  It seems I wasn't interested much in the macro picture of life.  "I" worked to sub-optimize my own micro situation - the world of me, myself and I.

I must've valued the availability of a close and safe parking space when I needed it.  It's logical that parking lots can't be designed to hold the greatest number of cars that may want to park there.  And, I didn't want to pave paradise and put up a parking lot.  So, we do need to obey rules that best serve our community?  

Now, I'm so thankful for community leaders who actually work their vision of the future into fruition.  And, I'm pleased to pay my taxes and have less consternation about paying parking fees too.  Rather than merely enforcing the rules against my will, I expect that it might've been better to teach the younger me about the value of community and the need for the sustaining rules.

The only church in town needs rules too.  If they've white carpet then those entering must take off their shoes.  Rules may also be required to protect the "essentials" that're necessary to sustain and grow us.

Just for today...

"When I feel stressed, I'll stop to check whether my basic needs are being met."  Hope for Today (p. 96)

"We'll do this; Not for me - Stew and resist; Groups suffer."   Am I a Poet?

April 4th: Paddle forward

The story...

I woke, before my traveling partner, on the BWCA's Cherokee Lake.  It took a lotta paddling and portaging the day before - I actually carried our aluminum canoe over the Continental Divide.  It was way worth it - beautiful and serene.  We were the only group camped on the secluded lake.  We actually trolled for, caught, and ate lake trout the night before.  It was a crisp sunny morning on the island - you know I was actually cold.  Yet, my morning hour was one of the best parts of this canoe-in wilderness. 

Someone told me how surprised they were of what they saw and learned by focusing on one-square yard of earth for one-half hour.  I invested the time, on that rocky island, and was surprised and thankful for what I witnessed.  There's a lot going on around us that we're unaware of.   I actually saw a bug die, disassembled by ants, and pulled down a hole into the earth.  The close observation seemed to fill in missing pieces of the bigger view of Cherokee Lake - what's really going on.

Take a paddle from the island we camped on.

Life's worked out in the present.  I hope that the only church in town would teach what God's done, who He is, who we can be in Christ, and the reason(s) for our hope.  Yet, the group would primarily focus on working out their faith, while walking humbly with God, in the present - in actuality.  How about taking another look around already?

Just for today...

"Today I'll be keenly aware of my senses. I will think about what I am experiencing at this moment. I won't let the beauty of this day slip by unnoticed." Courage to Change  (p. 95)

"A searching and fearless moral inventory helped me see myself in a balanced way. This humble and realistic view of my gifts and shortcomings helped me forgive myself and in turn forgive others..." Hope for Today (p.95)

"Virtually veiled; Spiritually blind - Self willed; Reality missed."   Am I a Poet?

April 3rd - Power and Momentum

The story...

We moved to a home in the woods - lots of trees.  I worked a desk job; strenuous physical activity after work felt good.  The lumberjack cycle includes: tree felling, sawing, hauling, splitting, stacking, stump removal, and wood burning.  One of the transferrable skills was wood splitting.  You need to swing the 8-lb maul with momentum to split.  If you miss the mark or swing with less than 100%; ya got ta do it again - fatiguing and slow.  So, I became proficient with the splitting maul through repetition.  

We have a county fair site near our home.  One day my family and friends were strolling through the fair midway.  There it was!

One swing and I rang the bell. The strike felt natural, rather easy, and the sound of the bell ringing gave me a feeling of joy.  Oh, the sound of hearty cheers from those I love.

Similarly, I hope that feelings of joy would occur frequently within the only church in town.  The cheers would be a witness to the power of God worked out through His people - the power of a new nature worked out in actualities.

Just for today...

"Who I am, not what I do, makes me worthwhile."  Hope for Today (p. 94)

"Eight-pound arc; Muscle, Sinew, Sweat - Hit's the mark; Core revealed."
"Never seen; Knots and grain - Lonely beauty; Basking in Light."   Am I a Poet?

March 30th - Thermostat or Thermometer?

The story...

I was alone for 12 days while my spouse was traveling.  I kept busy doing projects and meeting with people, at least once per day.  It was good to pick her up at the airport and return to a more normal home life.  However, I noticed that I began speaking more loudly and quickly when telling a good story or discussing daily events.  I noticed the change in intensity and made adjustments by lowering my voice and slowing down.  I mentioned this to her and she noticed the changes I was making.  She said that it was just fine the way things were yet I think that quieter and less intense is preferable.  Maybe it's my go-to way since I grew up with four loud siblings.

I mentioned this story to a pastor friend and asked him if being quieter was a worthy personal change effort.  He encouraged me to work at this better communication style.  And, he relayed a wise metaphor that you may also find helpful.  When entering the room, you can choose to be either a thermometer or a thermostat.  A thermometer matches the "temperature" of the room while the thermostat can change the "temperature" of the room.

I expect that the only church in town would have a temperature, or level of intensity, that allows for all people to feel more comfortable, respected, loved, and engaged.  Each player effects the temperature whether it be good or bad.

Just for today...

"My efforts to be selfless by trying to please everyone but myself weren't working.  The focus was on their response rather than on what seemed right for me to do."  Courage to Change (p. 90)

"Until I am intimate with myself and treat myself with compassion, kindness, trust, acceptance, and love, I can't be the spouse, friend, son, or father I want to be." Hope for Today (p. 90)

"You're quiet; I'm excited - Talk's hard; Love's better."   Am I a Poet?

March 29th: Pray Continually?

The story...

I assumed it was some type of extreme idea or hyperbole: "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. NASB)   How could a man be in continual contact with God?  Is that the will of God?  

Later in life, I found this truth worked out in reality - sensing and observing an ongoing relationship between the Spirt of God and my spirit.  Being truly awake and alert to the reality of the present.  This "relationship" has been real to me albeit veiled, seen rather dimly, with bursts of revealing light.  Fruit born is more concrete and observable.  That type of fruit seems to come without all the turmoil that accompanies my efforts of "trying to be a good boy."  The greatest commandment worked out?

I've heard that being right with God, and walking humbly with Him, is like finally discovering the oil reserve deep below your house.  You notice it bubbling out of the ground.  Then one day you decide to pump it out of the ground and use it thereafter.  The idea of using your untapped resource is acted out in the opening credits for one of the best TV shows of all time.

The only church in town would teach God's revealed Word and the people would work out their faith in God's Word together.  They'd walk alongside each other as they learn to abide in Christ - the process is much slower than I ever expected.  One day, they might naturally experience unceasing prayer.  Each of them would be different, in their own unique and gifted way, yet together they'd be awesome in Christ.  

Just for today...

"I lost my conscious contact with God. I gained weight, stopped exercising, and lost interest in my home and family.  I started isolating, and I sank into depression."  Hope for Today (p. 89)

"Worrying and fear can alter our perceptions until we lose all sense of reality, twisting neutral situations into nightmares.  Because most worry focuses on the future, if we can learn to stay in the present, living one day or one moment at at time, we take positive steps toward warding off our fear."  Courage to Change (p. 150)

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus."  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. (NASB)

"Life's amok; Quit trying - Trusted God; We're okay."   Am I a Poet?

March 27th - Retribution

The story...

I was living in my college dorm room with my 10-gallon aquarium.  I'd cared for my ten neon tetras for three quarters - everybody knew how much I liked them.  One day, I unlocked my door, walked over to my aquarium, and saw only two big fish that weren't my Neons.  "These are his fish.  This must be a prank.  He must have switched the fish between our tanks as a joke."   I ran down the hallway and pounded on his door.  "WHERE ARE MY FISH?" He felt my anger, we went to see the tank site together - he admitted that he put his fish in my aquarium while he was cleaning his.  "I'm sorry."  

What happened within the next five minutes embarrasses me now.  I reacted quickly and took both of the fish out of the aquarium and chopped them into pieces to expose my ten dead fish.  I had my retribution yet my friend and I were both left with negative feelings and emotions.  There was resolution yet my conscience said "you done wrong."

My 3-year old Neon

Is there a place for retribution within the only church in town?  There'll be situations where people will be justified for taking retribution.  I wish I'd forgiven my friend for his honest, yet unthinking, act.  Might I've shown mercy to those two simple fish that were just doing what they were created to do?   My character in this epic story of life might've been a tad better?  How does a person actually become better?

Just for today...

"I will guard against looking for flaws in others; I will try to see what is good in them." One Day at a Time (p. 87)

"It takes a great deal of effort for me to extend compassion to certain people . . . It means letting go of resentments, resulting from unrealistic expectations."  Hope for Today (p. 87)

"Unexpected happens; Blame flows - Love responds; We grow."   Am I a Poet?

March 26th - Embrace Variation

The story...

Within this world there're random variables - like the size of an egg, the length of the hairs on your head, the amount of rain in April, or the chances you'll get all green stop lights on the drive to work.  Environments, materials, people and processes are continuously varying.  The same process setup, and efforts to perform the same way, result in different outcomes - variation.  Many differences are obvious yet some require you to look more closely.  The need to manage and control this type of variation is why manufacturing companies have "Quality" jobs.

Calipers: 0.001" precision

Once upon a time, I was a quality professional - one of the guys responsible for managing and controlling variation.  On a particular sunny spring day, I attended a seminar, in an old house, away from the "plant."  I still remember the instructor introducing Larry Wall's Harvard Law.  The law states: "Under controlled conditions of light, temperature, humidity, and nutrition, the organism will do as it damn well pleases."  The futility of my struggles to control our processes, beyond what they were capable of, was exposed!  This was a key learning for me to embrace.  I expect I've retold that internalized learning 100's of times.

The same can be said for the only church in town.  People vary day-to-day, year-to-year, and season to season.  The community, town, county, state, nation, and global environments are always changing.  Special causes of variation occur in the church regularly.  Your new youth group leader may love to mountain climb and the youth learn to work out their faith in Appalachia.  Leadership may have different view points on non-essential doctrines; yet, they love, respect and grow together.  Two families from a different culture join your church and the people grow in different ways.  Trying to stay the same and control variation will likely just wear you out and frustrate others.  Change is going to happen - why not embrace the reality of change?

Thank God that His Word does not change.  His promises are real, trustworthy and the best by definition.  Best of all, you can count on Him to keep His promises.  

Just for today...

"If I'm unwilling to perform a task badly, I can't expect to make progress toward learning to do it well."  Courage to Change (p. 86)

"Refraining from advice-giving or criticizing creates an accepting and respectful environment in which each member is truly heard and valued.  Hope for Today (p. 86)

"Progress begins when we stop trying to control the uncontrollable and when we go on to correct what we have the right to change."  One Day at a Time (p. 86)

"It changed; Cuz why? - Just is; We're good."   Am I a Poet?

March 24th - That Snowball - Old Scars

The story...

In my late twenties, I was asked to serve as a middle-school youth leader.  It was initially uncomfortable as you might expect.  Yet, playing, laughing, teaching key truths in story, attending a youth-leader seminar, leading songs with guitar, traveling together, sharing life actualities, suffering together, encouraging, praising, and seeing growth, were all real good.  Then an event happened that triggered emotions that must've been buried deep down inside me.

The situation: it's winter, there's snow outside, and we'd just finished our youth group events for the night.  The kids are running and playing inside.  One boy steps outside, makes a snowball, and throws it at a friend whose running away inside the church.  Frustrated, I was left to scoop up the snow.  At the same time, I look up and see an Elder walk out of a bible-study room.  He stops and stares at both me and the snowball splat - he wore a look of disgust.

Why does this scene trigger emotions from me even now as I recall it.  This happened more than 35 years ago!  Thank goodness I didn't react quickly to that leering look.  I finished cleaning up the mess and stored my pent-up emotions.  The Elder was a good man and I still think of him with respect.  So, was my primary cause frustration, authority figures, the youth leader role, lack of respect shown to me as the leader, unwanted discipline I received long ago, my questioning the worthiness of my service, or simply being rejected by the group?  I don't know the cause.  It may've been all or some combination; yet, it seems that an emotional wound was exposed in this critical event.  I likely still have a small scar.

The only church in town is going to be filled with wounded people who cover up their scars.  Comfort and hope is available as they learn to love and receive love.  This story highlights the need to work out the greatest and second greatest commandments - love the Lord your God with all your heart soul and mind.  And, love your neighbor as yourself.  Yes, that means loving yourself too - redeemed in Christ.

Just for today...

"Courage is fear that has said its prayers." One Day at a Time (p. 84)

"I searched my past to see how this character defect had helped me to survive the pain and chaos of growing up in . . . Listing the benefits of the defect made it easier to see why it had become such a big part of me.  It also helped me see how the flaw was just a positive attribute run amok."  Hope for Today (p. 84)

"Dad's okay; I'm not - I'll get better; Still not."   Am I a Poet?

March 23rd - Walking and Rolling

The story...

I had a friend who was bound to a wheelchair with partial use of his arms.  His wife was a virtuous and industrious person who cared for and loved him along the way.  We worked together as members of our church leadership board for a few years.  What would it be like to be "imprisoned" in a body that wouldn't go or do what you wanted?  I'm so thankful that he shared his heart, and the reality of his condition, over those years.  I learned much by observing his behavior, asking him "what's it like" questions, listening, and sensing his warm comfortable spirit.  He truly learned to love and accept love well.  He trusted what God's Word said about him rather than his limited capabilities.

He said, multiple times, that the car accident was a blessing.  He had a loving relationship with his God through his Savior.  I believed him and am thankful for his witness.  He seemed to be truly free within the confines of his wheelchair.

Life stories like this one will be an important part of the only church in town.  While our faith isn't built on the testimony of other people, it's a wonderful thing to witness the Spirit of God work His way out through a friend whom you're walking and rolling alongside.

Just for today...

"My anger can be an attempt to change someone or something because I don't want to change . . . I gain self-worth when I change the things I can and accept responsibility for my reactions rather than blaming or shaming another."  Hope for Today (p. 83)

"Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional."  Courage to Change (p. 83)

"Body restricted; Wavering pain - Heart's pounding; Love's there."   Am I a Poet?

March 21st: Camper or Motorcycle?

The story...

It's not hard to remember the effort it took to pack up for, and unpack from, a camping vacation.  It seemed right to bring everything that we expected to need - not to be found wanting.  Strangely, part of the idea was to get away from the stuff and routine.

A motorcycle trip is different - space is limited so you bring what you need - this or that.   What happens if it rains?  You get wet and maybe spend time hanging out with others in an unexpected place - you do dry out an often appreciate the people you both helped and allowed to help you.

Motorcyclists often offer a solidarity arm gesture as they pass each other on the road.  The "gang" also tends to share stories at the gas pumps too - they do spend more time at gas stations.  When traveling on my motorcycle, I feel like I'm part of a bigger group that wants a freer life.

You can like the idea of riding a motorcycle and buy one this week.  You might keep it stored under a tarp in the back of your garage and take it out occasionally to drive around the neighborhood.  It might be safer that way and your bike would stay shinier and newer looking - maybe that's why so many used motorcycles have few miles on their odometer. 

This motorcycle was great . . .

It seems that the only church in town might be a lot like a biker group.  Living more freely in the present together, rid of the extra baggage, more purposeful.  Like the Greek work "ecclesia" - a called out group of people who wanna be free.

Just for today...

"I've heard that we don't necessarily gravitate toward what is good for us; we gravitate toward what feels like home."  Hope for Today (p. 81)  

"Logic may dictate a certain course of action while my inner voice urges me in a different direction.  I may have an easier time when I follow the dictates of logic, convenience, or past experience, but am I cheating myself out of something much better?"  Courage to Change (p. 81)

"Thundering underneath; Fly over hill - Eternity unveiled; O'er golden sun."   Am I a Poet?

March 20th - Idols and Jealousy

The story...

God says He's a jealous God.  Were we created for a relationship with Him?

When I get that unsatisfied feeling, that "itch," where do I go?  Do I search the internet for a thing to desire and posses?  Do I consume a favorite food?  Do I drink or swallow a substance to soothe?  Maybe I'll look at other people's glamor photos on social media?  How about dreaming of the other relationship that might've been more fulfilling?  How about escaping my surroundings and going to the place that most desire to be?  

These might all be considered idols that stunt or stifle my relationship with God.  I do drift from the best condition - the decline seems to occur almost imperceptibly.  Restoration, to the better condition, seems to occur best through prayer, reflection, agreement, and meditation.

For me, there's no better state of being than walking humbly and honestly within a close relationship with God.  He's provided the power and the way too. "Me in Christ and the Spirit of Christ in me."  Wow...

What will spiritual conditions be like within the only church in town?   All will have an "old nature" that works to separate them from God and others too.  The people would purpose to do justice, love kindness, and walk honestly and humbly with God in Christ.  When a fellow pilgrim falls, others will be there to help them up to continue on - separately yet together.

Just for today...

"I have always judged my value on the basis of my accomplishments, or on what other people said of me.  This meant I had to work all the time, or constantly make myself the center of attention."  Courage to Change (p. 80)

"The decision is never overt, and explanations are never made openly. The outcasts simply find themselves excluded from the family for a period of time."  Hope for Today (p. 80)

Isaiah 44:9-20 reveals God's perspective about humans and their idols. 

"Something's missing; Heart speaks. - Eyes wander; Ingesting waste."   Am I a Poet?

March 18th - Groupthink versus Truth

The story...

Solomon Asch conducted a conformity experiment to test the phenomena that's often referred to as groupthink.  In this study, only 25% of the participants would not go along with group consensus when evaluating which line length was a match.  

Reference & Comparison Card Pair - Wikipedia 5/18/24

Personally, I've often experienced the pain of being in that quartile who maintained their integrity when the group's going the other way - "it's just the way I am."  I assume that when the issues are more complex, than assessing the length of lines, the percentage decreases significantly.  Groupthink often results in people going where they don't wanna go - maybe nobody.

Within the only church in town, I hope that God's revealed Word would be the standard for measuring line length.  And, I hope that the grace, love and mercy offered by God, to us in Christ, would be extended amongst community members - freedom from the tyrannical rule of self.  Then, people might have a solid rock foundation for measuring truth - working out a life of integrity, characterized by love, amongst all their groups.

Just for today...

"I can lower my expectations of others and myself, and choose to be happy with progress rather than perfection."  Hope for Today (p. 78)

"I've spent so much time and energy trying to help those who didn't want it, that the opportunity  to make a welcome contribution to someone else's well being is precious to me." Courage to Change (p. 78)

"I will not look for a scapegoat to excuse my own faults."  One Day at a Time (p. 78)

"We must be true inside, true to ourselves, before we can know a truth that is outside us."  No Man Is an Island - Thomas Merton

"Honest but wrong; Open to Change - Still okay; Growing up."   Am I a Poet?

March 17th - "Live and Let Live"

The story...

"Live and let live" is a life giving saying that suggests that we mind our own business and allow others the dignity and respect to live their own lives.  This frees us up from the burdens of "trying" to live out other people's lives - a burden that was never ours to carry.

My house has a deck out back with floodlights mounted under the eave.  I enjoy working there when the weather's nice - the floodlight above my head.  In the spring, invariably, a robin will attempt to build a nest above the flood light.  It was my habit to remove the nest, in various stages of build, three or even four times, before they gave up and moved elsewhere.  In 2021, I chose to practice "live and let live" and accommodate the robin.  I moved my "work" chair and endured the momma's chirping as she instinctually protected her chicks.  We even replanned gatherings that'd need the deck space.  Embarrassingly, I bragged about this good deed to all who would listen - "oh... what a proud man I can be."  One day, when the chicks were about ready to leave the nest, I witnessed a barred owl swoop down to the nest and swallow all the chicks.  My emotions ran deep.

What's the moral of the story?  Kill the barred owls!  Please don't, I love 'em.  Two of them are hooting "who cooks for you" as I write.  Do you "live and let live" at the risk of hurt and pain?  For me, I'll continue to "live and let live" but I'm also going to remove even the first twig from that lamp - I know better.  The barred owls in the woods are real.

Would the people of the only church in town be allowed the freedom to live out their own lives with dignity and respect?  I hope the answer is yes. Surely, we all need to be heard and  occasionally helped along our way.  Allowing people the freedom to live out their own lives in a risky world seems worthy.  Who knows what might happen as God works through the people of the only church in town.

Just for today...

"Before anyone else can pick up the ball, I need to be willing to drop it."   Hope for Today (p. 77)

"Difficult situations often bring out qualities in us that otherwise might not have risen to the surface, such as courage, faith, and our need for one another." Courage to Change (p. 77)

"Dear eat Hosta; Plant it still. - It will grow; this I will."
"Hosta pops up; This I admire - Hosta stubs remain; Why's it so?"   Am I a Poet?

March 16th - Obsessive Thoughts

 The story...

"It's okay to let bad ideas land in your head but it's not okay to let them build a nest there."  I don't know when I first heard this cliché but I do remember it.  I'm capable of renumerating an emotional triggered "issue" for too long.  This obsessive thinking can drive me into a mode where I think that I need to fix, manage, or control the related issue(s).  Even when I'm distracted or move my energy toward another direction, it can be tempting to pick the thoughts up again.  Endlessly juggling them in my mind.  At those times, we're not free to choose a better life-giving alternative.  If free, we might experience fruit like: love, joy, peace, patience, happiness, and even joy.  Truly experiencing the here and now - in the present. 

Personally, these obsessive thought patterns are negatively correlated with the degree that I'm walking humbly with God.  The more that I'm obsessively thinking, the less I'm thinking about, or relating rightly and honestly with, God and other people too.  At those times, I'm not being kind.

Have I complete victory over obsessive thinking?  No.  Yet, I do recognize that obsessive state of mind when it seems to be starting and more quickly return to peacefulness.  

Here are a few techniques I learned to better deal with obsessive thinking:

1. Say to yourself: "You've four minutes to tell me the truth about the situation - then it's over."  I'm frequently more aware of the situation reality, and my part in it, after the four minutes.
2. Literally brush the imagined issue off each of your shoulders as if they were bugs.
3. Kneel down and pray related truths from God's Word, about you, and the situation too.  Then spend and equal amount of time quietly and attentively listening.

The only church in town idea doesn't provide the opportunity for people to go to another church or split the church when obsessively focused on trouble.  The leaders, formal and informal, would naturally go to technique three, first individually and then as community.

Just for today...

"Acceptance means simply admitting there are things we cannot change.  Accepting them puts an end to our futile struggles and frees our thought and energy to work on things that can be changed."  One Day at a Time (p. 76)

"When I obsessed, I hurt myself.  I drove myself to madness - insane thoughts and ideas - by trying to fix or control that which I have no power."  Hope for Today (p. 76)

"Selves choose paths; Rightly good. - Neighbors hurt; We're sorry."  Am I a Poet?

March 15th - I'm OK, You're OK

The story...

In 1967, psychiatrist Thomas Anthony Harris published the book "I'm Okay - You're Okay."  It was a bestseller in the early 1970s.  It introduced the idea that a person's psychological state can shift situationally.  The three states were easy to understand and remember: Parent, Child and Adult.  Parent is like a mix of all that you heard and saw parents and adults do and say when you were a child.  Adult is that more independent person who has adapted to, and developed some control over, their environment.  This was a helpful model for me.  For example, many parents want to work out an adult-adult relationship with their adult children.

What does a good adult-to-adult relationship look like in the only church in town?  Would all the people be valued and treated with dignity and respect - treated as equals?  This seems to be justified by the USA's Declaration of Independence (1776):

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness"

I suppose that the problems are with those persons that do NOT behave, look, think or believe what we or I do - the exceptions.  How do I relate to adults who are different from me?  Personally, I think we can go a long way by beginning every relationship with one word in mind - RESPECT.

What season of life might the child best be related to as an adult within the only church in town?  Jewish boys and girls receive their Bar or Bat Mitzvah at the age of 12.  There seems to be many advantages for treating a teenager as an adult.  Their teenage season of life might include the practice of giving and receiving adult-to-adult interactions.  If the alternative Parent-Child relationship stays in place, then the rebels rebel and the passive are left to be led as if they were pulled by a ring in their nose.  I expect that being treated like, and behaving like, an adult would be a good place to come from when learning about who I am, where I'm going, and how to get there.  Yes, that was a definition of wisdom worked into that last sentence.

Just for today...

"I came to see how, as a child, I had played a role in creating the dynamics of my family. Not knowing how to manage uncomfortable feelings, I tried to stuff them deep down inside, but they didn't go away. Instead, they led me to behave in ways that perpetuated the feelings."  Hope for Today (p. 73)

"When I behave self-righteously, I'm the one who suffers - I separate myself from my fellow human beings, focus on others, and keep busy with hateful and negative thoughts."  Courage to Change (p. 73)

"Looks like home; Worn-out shoes - Have new ones; Choose the holey."   Am I a Poet?

March 13th - Our stories

The story...

Jesus taught indirectly through parables.  For me, the stories taught truth subtly in ways that I could understand and feel.  I remember stories and love to share them.  Yes, I'm a "story teller" who ponders stories that don't seem to make sense.  Movies with poor or unreasonable story lines . . . "ugh." 

Sometimes life experiences don't make sense, the related thoughts linger on until I reach some sort of conclusion.  Hours later, I may find myself saying: "That's what they were trying to tell me!"   I must miss many of the messages that I was intended to receive - story helps.

A friend and I watched almost all of the Seinfeld TV series episodes.  Each of the episodes were stories about common events with humorous way of looking at them.  When bringing a gift to an event, my friend will often say: "who is going to carry in the 'big salad'?"  We laugh when remembering the uncomfortable situation that the Seinfeld story embedded in our minds.  These common stories seem to help us communicate more quickly and succinctly as friends do.  I expect that friends share a common set of life stories that contain much of the history and meaning of their relationship.  It'd be more difficult to express yourself to another person without these common reference points.

Commonly understood stories can set the groundwork for sharing, more precisely and accurately, bigger or more complex ideas.  These bigger ideas are related to bigger questions that people like me have a hard time ignoring or accepting the simple solution{s).

The only church in town would have stories from: scripture, the full-group, the sub-group, and the individual members too.  This fuller set of stories help make sense of life, God, people, and me too.  I'm thankful that I've attended the same church for a long period of time.  Yes, the only church in town would have long-term relationships.  No more church splits or church hopping?

Just for today...

"I came to see how, as a child, I had played a role in creating the dynamics of my family. Not knowing how to manage uncomfortable feelings, I tried to stuff them deep down inside, but they didn't go away. Instead, they led me to behave in ways that perpetuated the feelings."  Hope for Today (p. 73)

"Struggling adventure; Stories made. - Living in wisdom; Hearts see."   Am I a Poet?