December 16th - Understanding together from Him

The story...

Advanced mathematics was available to me throughout my education.  However, much of my time "doing math" was spent attempting to receive good grades rather than working to understand mathematical proofs based on fundamental axioms.  The better way was to: follow my teacher's guidance towards understanding the why(s); working more examples than I wanted to; and applying this structured way of thinking to real-life applications.  This mathematical structured thinking became an integral part of my mind.

As a graduate teacher, I encountered varying degrees of understanding regarding the application of mathematical equations, principles and practices.  Some of my students were from other countries where they learned to solve math problems using different methods - I had a difficult time verifying their work.  So, I required them to show their work according to methods that I, the teacher, understood.  I directed them to Kahn- Academy for examples that we could mutually understand. 

In or about 2012, I committed to completing all of the math courses on Kahn Academy from addition through differential equations.  I scheduled one-to-two hours per day over the course of three or four months.  I was surprised at how I more easily understood and integrated the various subjects that took me 16 years to initially learn.

The only church in town will be a place of instruction, understanding, practice, and the application of good-to-great life principles and truth.  There will be math guys, like me, and non-math folks, like most of us, who'll enjoy growing together.  Community is much more capable than any one member.

Just for today...

"I don't have to understand everything . . . feel threatened by the future . . . feel guilty about the past . . . feel alone . . . take responsibility for other people's choices . . . give up my hope and dreams."  Courage to Change (p. 351)

"What coping behaviors do I use to soothe my pain? Are they really helping me?"  Hope for Today (p. 351)

"They need you; We've got power - Loved and loving; We're in Christ."   Am I a Poet?

December 15th - Growing together

The story...

I went through a period of brokenness - the situation overwhelmed me.  I needed help.  I was withdrawing and isolating from the problem(s).  Thankfully, a caring friend suggested that I meet with a group of people who deal with similar life battles.  They'd helped both him and others he knew.  I went, I felt understood, the environment was comfortable, and I grew to become a better man alongside others.  I actually received love and offered love too.

Even though the people within the group come and go as their needs change - I truly love them and experience love too.  I wish other groups were like that.  Strangely, as I grew towards being a more fully-functioning human, most of the groups that I'm a part of seemed to improve too.  Yes, we rub off on each other and perceive situations differently as WE grow.

The only church in town will have groups and friends who you can grow and walk through life with.  Yes, you can come closer to whom you were created to be.  Yet, most importantly, you can become right with your Creator and begin to walk rightly with Him - that's the relationship that lasts.

I hope that you enjoy todays "Just for today..."  readings.  They're but a sample of those that helped me both during my time of need and today too.  I'm thankful for each of these writers who've shared a chunk of their reality and victory.

Just for today...

"How could I turn my will and my life over to the care of God? . . . It felt so scary to think that I was out of control . . . I wondered what absolute surrender would feel like, and how I would know if I was doing it? . . . He said that turning our will over is like dancing with a partner. If both try to lead, there is much confusion and little forward movement. . . .  But when the partner is willing to relax and let the other partner do the steering, the couple flows easily across the dance floor."  Courage to Change (p. 350)

"Changing myself is such a big job that it keeps me fully occupied . . . I don't let myself get discouraged. Perfection never really has worried me because I know it's unattainable. Instead, I'm thrilled with the small, daily changes I can make in my attitudes and actions."  Hope for Today (p. 350)

"This one day I can easily cope with, if I have not frittered away my energies on destructive emotions, and if I do not provoke antagonism by criticisms, complaints and reproaches."  One Day at a Time (p. 350)

"Lonely solitude; Paths unknown - Preacher maps; Believers follow."
"God met; Narrow path - Truly secure; His way."   Am I a Poet?

December 14th - Quit hole digging - ask for help

 The story...

There was an older guy, who worked for me, that had a difficult time solving his problems with his computer models - he was modeling changes to parts that our company produced.  He'd spend hours trying to figure out his problems by himself with much wasted time and angst.  He was spending too much time per project - he needed to either improve or move on to another type of job. 

I remember meeting with him, in his office, to discuss the types of problems that he had.  Some were dealing with infrequent exceptions to the design process that had special causes.  Some were due to his methods that were different than the ones that he was trained to perform.  Some were due to misconceptions regarding the Computer-Aided-Design process.  Some were due to terminology that he didn't understand.  Some were due to actual design issues that he didn't have to consider when he was drawing with paper and pencil.  Some were due to a sort of uneasiness with his ability to perform his job with a computer that was forced upon him - he felt less capable and valued by the group.

We better understood each other after we met a few times in his office.  We came up with a solution that included retraining on a few modules.  We worked out arrangements, with three other designers, to ask for help when needed - he came to them with the problem clearly defined.  "Timing" rules minimized his propensity to spin his wheels while "hoping" for a solution.  The process included: 1st, take a few minutes to identify and clarify the problem; 2nd, review the training material; 3rd, seek help from one of the three available designers depending on their specialty;  4th, call the software company help desk; 5th, come to me, his manager, to both alert me and to ask for additional support. 

He followed the new process and his performance and attitude improved - problem solved.  Yet, I'm not sure what the main cause of his problem was.   Was help gained by being understood, valued, and being restored to a fully engaging group member - the Hawthorne effect?  We learned a lesson together - I became both a better person and manager in those few weeks.

Those attending the only church in town will learn that God listens to prayers and requests even though he knows about all situations in advance.  For those who are right with Him, He will either fulfill the request or give in accordance to His will.  His will is supremely better and right in His timing.  He cares for us, His creatures, and has plans for both this life and our eternity to follow - scripture says so.

Just for today...

". . . answers came not from books, but from mutual caring and thinking out loud with someone you felt comfortable with."  One Day at a Time (p. 349)

"If I'm not careful, I overwhelm myself with all the various things I could change and I become paralyzed by inaction. It helps to pray for knowledge of exactly what God wants me to change at any given moment."  Hope for Today (p. 349)

"Hopelessly caught; Sticky web - Cocoon forms; Help me God!"
"His appears; Love felt - Fantasies lost; Eternity unveiled!"    Am I a Poet?

December 12th - Love yourself to more fully love others

The story...

Did I need to perform to be loved?  I didn't seem to match the "ideal" person that "we" wanted to be.  And, it seemed my parents were pushing me toward something better than what I was capable of being or best suited for.  I wanted to be loved but close relationships remained elusive.

Growing up, I was smarter than the average kid.  My dad had a respectful job and my needs were met.  We had a bigger boat and newer car than most. They took us on vacations - four states away and to Canada too.  They volunteered and supported our boy scouts and girl scouts activities.  They taught us to be thrifty and capable. They made sure we went to church and were prepared for college.  They did their parenting job well.  My inner man wanted to love and be loved.  Not merely do and receive loving actions; but, to actually love and be loved.  Does love like that require the intervention of God?

The only church in town will be a place where people learn to love themselves gracefully as God loves us through Christ.  These loved people will be more capable and free to love others within graceful relationships.  People will learn the grace that's the undeserved favor of God.  The indwelling Spirit of God will testify of this wonderful loving truth.. 

Just for today...

"How great is the human need for a scapegoat, someone or something to blame for our disappointments . . . at least part of my unhappiness is due to the way I reacted . . . nothing can work damage to me except myself.'"  One Day at a Time (p. 347)

"I had to deal with my old resentments . . . It took discipline and courage to stop pushing every adult away . . . I can love them for who they are, instead of who I think they should be."  Courage to Change (p. 347)

"I wasn't really aware of myself . . .When I learned to love the person I found - myself - I started to perceive and love myriad qualities in the people around me."  Hope for Today (p. 347)

"She smiled; We laughed - The touch; Melding hearts."
"Must keep; Pretend lover - Fades away; Under cover."   Am I a Poet?

December 7th - Are you seeking pleasure?

The story...

I've tried to feel better by eating more, imagining a better place in time, replacing the old with the new, or merely exercising towards an Apple-watch goal.  You likely have similar whims that you'd add to your list.

Watch this YouTube video at your own risk - ain't giving you the link

When I'm seeking pleasure to make me feel better, I know my relationship with God isn't right - "trouble" has crept into my life once again.  I sense those disquieting feeling as I kneel down to pray in quiet meditation.  These inordinate desires melt away and I begin again to experience love joy, peace patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self control anew - fruit of the Spirit of God.

The only church in town will preach, teach, and work out God's Way for living the good life.  They won't suggest self-actualization or pleasure seeking.  Walking honestly and humbly with your righteous God is the best way to live.  An inherently unrighteous man, like me, can't live a good life out on his own.  We must be positioned with Him in Christ by the power of God - living within the body of Christ. 

Just for today...

"I used to think that being good to myself meant eating whatever I wanted, buying anything that caught my eye, sleeping only a few hours a night, and avoiding any activities that weren't fun or exciting. The trouble was that consequences were very uncomfortable, and when I let myself think about it, I felt I was wasting my life."  Courage to Change (p. 342)

"Speak your truth quietly and clearly; listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they, too, have their story."  One Day at a Time (p. 342)

"Serenity is the sure knowledge of God's unconditional love for me. It is an acceptance of myself that flows from God's approving embrace."  Hope for Today (p. 342)

"Be happy; Why be sad? - Whose ta blame; If yer bad?"
"Eroding hearts; Soul's lost - Christ redeemed; Bore the cost."   Am I a Poet?

December 5th - Who understands my heart but God?

The story...

My parents brought me to Sunday school for about ten years.  Neighbors brought me to summer-bible camp, after I accepted Christ as my savior, when I was about eight.  I actively read the four gospels after a period of brokenness in 1980.   In 1981, I actively engaged in bible study with Bill Job's "ekklesia" in Oak Ridge, TN.  I'm so thankful for all of my teachers, mentors, co-sojourners, and friends along my faith-building journey.  One key learning was that God knows our hearts - the condition of our hearts makes all the difference.

"But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God does not see as man sees, since man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”   1 Samuel 16:7 (NASB)

"And Jesus, perceiving their thoughts, said, 'Why are you thinking evil in your hearts?'"  Matthew 9:4 (NASB)

"For who among people knows the thoughts of a person except the spirit of the person that is in him? So also the thoughts of God no one knows, except the Spirit of God."  1 Corinthians 2:11 (NASB)

I am so thankful for my faith and the opportunities that I've been given to share the realities of my faith with others.  I especially appreciated the nine years where I served as both a 3rd-4th and 4th-5th grade Sunday-school teacher.  And, I currently appreciate my close friends in-Christ while leading a group of faithful men within Bible Study Fellowship (BSF).

Bible cover gift from my 3rd-5th grade class

The only church in town will lead people to accept God's gracefully given gift of redemption - the Way for our hearts to be reconciled with God.  They'll read that our hearts are seen by God as white as snow due to Christ's redeeming payment for our sin debt.  Yes, they'll share the good news that our righteous God cleanses us from our sin-death penalty through the sacrifice of His Son, my Lord and Savior Jesus the Christ.  He knows me with a cleansed heart - praise God!

Just for today...

"I was sure there had to be somebody in this world who would understand my every mood, always have time for me, and bring a smile to my face . . . my fantasy showed itself to be no more than a shadow. Reality presented a different picture entirely . . . What was I doing with their love? It seemed to me I was brushing it aside for that one imaginary person, or worse, not noticing it all."   Courage to Change (p. 340)

"If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, 'thank you,' that would suffice."  Meister Eckhart

"Were the challenges and losses in my life actually gifts God had chosen carefully for me so that I might grow spiritually? I knew it to be so, and I felt simultaneously humbled and overwhelmed with gratitude for the nature of God's love for me."  Hope for Today (p. 340)

"Preacher extols; Bent and broken - Thank you Lord; Light has woken."   Am I a Poet?

December 3rd - Care for those outside your control or influence?

The story...

Life's taught me that I don't know what's best in many or most situations. The best is often applying something that seemed to work well in similar situations.  It's especially likely that I'll choose a suboptimal course of action if it: involves something that I'm comfortable with; allows me to apply a skill that I've developed; if it uses the tool(s) at hand; brings positive attention towards myself; pleasures me; or is consistent with my limited knowledge.  Actually, I think that I'm a good decision maker.  Yet, I'm prone to make biased-suboptimal decisions while hoping for a cloudy picture of what the best future might hold.

I once taught a graduate class on forecasting with mathematical models.  It involved identifying causal and non-causal data related to key outcomes, weighting historical data, measuring trends, discovering seasonality, and the testing of these time-series models with both historical and current reality.  There was always the underlying concern that these data were not recorded accurately or precise enough.  A good model's helpful for planning within varying: environments, materials, Geopolitics, competitors, and the actual behavior of the people involved.  Sometimes it seems difficult, if not impossible, to do "good" enough.  Our omniscient God knows - but I, his creature, do not - "A man's got to know his limitations."

Most of us believe that a virtuous life is better than a non-virtuous one; but, we might stray and vary between season and conditions.  I value honesty and integrity while others plan on lying as necessary in an effort to achieve a more favorable outcome.  Insecurity can cause us to live cautiously within ever-changing environments.  Situations and related decision making is rarely black-and-white - our situations are often cloudier and greyer with spots of sunshine peaking through.

God's trustworthy and He cares for each of those who trust in His big-loving hands.  This you'll hear within the only church in town.  We can trust Him for the stuff that's outside our control and influence.  When trusting God, we're more likely to live out a restful, peaceful, and hopeful life.   A life that appreciates the past, lives in the present, and trusts God for the future.  It's a wonderful thing to walk through this life, and eternity, within the favor of God - in Christ.  You can fellowship with your Creator and Father now.

Just for today...

"I found it relatively easy to make a decision to turn over my will and my life to God. However, I didn't have any idea how to actually do it."  Hope for Today (p. 338) 

"Speculating on other people's attitudes and motives is a waste of time and effort. To search out the reasons for my own is a voyage of discovery!"  One Day at a Time (p. 338)

"Meditation is higher spiritual awareness . . . a quiet place . . . beyond my thoughts . . . attention on the present day only, leaving the past and the future alone."   Courage to Change (p. 338)

"Will control; Not so much - Influential push; Fell down."
"Chaos pressed, Peace lost  - God held; Big hands."   Am I a Poet?

December 2nd - What I wanted from dad came from . . .

The story...

I'm told that my motives for much of what I've done, and thought, came from a desire to please, or even be like, my father.  I discovered that this was at least partially true after my dad passed away.  For example, I discovered I no longer had a desire to fish.   Fishing seemed purposeless without sharing the "best" experiences with my dad.  He seemed to like hearing those stories and freely express positive emotions directed toward me.  Yes, the fishing and story telling were part of my ongoing search for his love and approval.  In truth,  people weren't capable of fully meeting my needs.  I even bought this shirt mainly because it looked like one I remembered him wearing - I didn't wear it..

Like many, I've enjoyed much of Bruce Springsteen's music since my college years.  His songs resonated with some life experiences - deep down in my soul I felt his albums "Born to Run" and "Nebraska."  I was surprised to hear that much of what he did was an effort to be like his dad and to win his approval.  You can hear the music, drama, and story worked out in his Netflix NYC play "Springsteen on Broadway."  He tried to return to his roots but it wasn't the same.

My dad was my first idea of who God must be like.  Sadly, he was merely a good man with strengths and weaknesses.   I was discouraged when I discovered his flaws and didn't receive the love and acceptance that I longed for.  Did I deserve his love?  I was placing my hopes in the wrong place.  I am thankful for the other people who introduced me to my Lord and Savior - Jesus the Christ.  I am so... thankful that people in Christ worked out their love by sharing their faith and hope in our Father our Creator.

Come to the only church in town and learn about the Way.  If you know the Way, then might you share the reality of your Father in Christ with those who are lost?

Just for today...

"I was setting goals that others wanted me to achieve . . . My decisions were based on what others wanted so I could make them love and accept me . . . I thought if I said and did everything my parents wished, I would finally earn their love and attention."  Hope for Today (p. 337)

"Not one thing has ever improved as a result of my mental criticism. All it does is keep my mind on someone other than me . . . What would happen if I took my list of criticisms and applied it, gently, to myself?" Courage to Change (p. 337)

"Dad knew; He had - Acted like; Needed him."
"Disillusion fell; Looked out - God loved; Christ saved."   Am I a Poet?

November 30th - Expect less to freedom

The story...

Each new class began with great expectations.  I imagined the best from the syllabi and believed the instructor's opening arguments and impassioned pleas.  I willed to diligently study, stay curious, apply truths, and be a better, more capable, version of me.  The instructor, me, and classmates could live up to my expectations.  My idealistic expectations were unrealistic - I expected too much from us all.

Might we expect less from others and appreciate actualities?  Many of our community problems seem rooted in our inordinate expectations for them and us.  God doesn't expect much from the old nature we were born with.  He revealed that we are only good when positioned with Him and He is the only being who can restore our relationship.  Yes, He provided the Way to erase the sin barrier between He and we. Might there be a place where we could appreciate life as it is, imagine veiled reality together, and allow each the freedom to grow as gifted together?  The only church in town would be that place.

Just for today...

"It's unrealistic to expect perfection from an imperfect being in an imperfect world. The only perfection I can hope to attain is to be perfectly imperfect."  Hope for Today (p. 335)

"Everyone who plays a part in our lives offers something we might learn. Other people can be our mirrors, reflecting our better or worse qualities. They can help us to work through conflicts from the past that were never resolved."  Courage for Change (p. 335)

"Expected much; Got different - Graceful eyes; Saw better."   Am I a Poet?

November 29th - Trying to control the uncontrollable?

The story...

The weather's going to vary.  We might try to control it by moving to a new spot on the globe; yet, it'll vary there too.  We can influence the weather we experience; but, do we really control it?  

We're better able to plan for weather variation in our homes.  We may look at the short-term forecast and  plan accordingly.  Many change their home's environment using: a thermostat with heat and cooling source(s);  a hygrometer to start up the humidifier or dehumidifier; or reported pollen counts to decide to filter the air or close the windows.  Some people don't like it the same way and want the weather within the house to vary too.  Settings are agreed to by compromise or directed by those with authority.  The weather never seems to be quite right.

We try to build homes that are sustainable under all reasonable weather expectations and don't require excessive effort to control them.  We may change the way we dress to better fit how we want to be.  Maybe we'll choose to work in the morning, go to either the air-conditioned mall or beach when it's hot; or travel during periods of weather that's not to our liking.  Maybe its better to accommodate the weather rather than judging it an attempting to control it.   Maybe we could minimize our opinions about the weather and appreciate the natural variation - that sounds good to me.  Yet, I'm going to heat, cool, and filter to adjust for the extremes that may disrupt my life.  I'll dress to accommodate the weather - go with the flow.

How about choosing to be thankful for each day's weather and refrain from judging it to be good or bad?  I'd like to live my life accommodating and appreciating variation.  That'd be better than working never-ending cycles of measuring, judging, controlling, and deeming it to be either good or bad.  And, I'd treat other community members in a similar way.  Engage in their lives and enjoy each other without trying to fix, manage, and control them according to what I expect is best for them.  They won't all be my friends; but, I intend to offer grace, mercy, love, and respect to each.

The only church in town will be thankful for the grace, forgiveness, and love that God pours out on us through our Lord Jesus the Christ.  Church people will work out a similar, albeit clunky, graceful heart within their relationships too - mirroring how God loves them.

Just for today...

"Being an adult was looking good on the outside and not feeling what was going on the inside . . . The first thing to go was the control over others - it simply doesn't work  . . .  Today I can risk being myself. I don't have to live up to anyone's image."  Courage to Change (p. 334)

"Today I can put the past where it belongs and focus on taking care of myself. I needn't wait for someone to do it for me."  Hope for Today (p. 334)

"This self-imposed struggle to control the uncontrollable is certainly not rational."  One Day at a Time (p. 334)

"There it is; Now it ain't - Bouncing along; Loosely free."
"Grab on; Hold fast - Steady now; It's gone."    Am I a Poet?

November 28th - Are you heard?

The story...

It's a special thing to be in a relationship where both: have similar aims and each other's best interest at heart; communicate honestly and respectfully; and are known and cared for.  When sharing is balanced, good friends grow together and enjoy each other's presence.  I'm so thankful for growing alongside close fiends.

I hope you enjoy these three friendship quotes from C.S. Lewis's book "The Four Loves."  I've listened, and enjoyed an audio version of this book at least a half-dozen times.

• “Friendship ... is born at the moment when one man says to another "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .”
  
  
• “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."
  
  
• “I have no duty to be anyone's Friend and no man in the world has a duty to be mine. No claims, no shadow of necessity. Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself (for God did not need to create). It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”

― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

The only church in town will be a group that contains many friends that make up a better whole.  They'll share a common aim, hope, and experience - together.  Each friendship is a good story within the epic saga of life.

Just for today...

"I lugged my childhood grudges into adulthood . . . All I really needed was to be heard. Then I could let go of some ugly feelings."  Hope for Today (p. 333)

"I will learn . . . to recognize my errors, to see the roadblocks of self-will and self-righteousness I have been putting in my way. Then I will no longer insist that a thing is impossible because I have been unable to accomplish it."  One Day at a Time (p. 333)

"Many of the things I had once thought of as virtues - taking care of everyone around me, worrying about other people's lives, sacrificing my own happiness and prosperity - turned out to be the causes of my misery!"  Courage to Change (p. 333)

"He refers to; I recall so - We scale walls; O'er solid footholds."
"Friendship session; Mutually strong - Liven and lovin; Ain't wrong."    Am I a Poet?

November 26th - Relationship Sweet Spots - Good Vibrations

The story...

Close relationships are an important part of life - likely why this post took so many words to explain.  Relationships require an investment of my whole person for focused periods of time.  Here's the glue that seems to help them grow within my life walk:

• Who: similar personalities and journeys - ages from 35 younger to five older
• What: naturally balanced listening and sharing - share what is and may be
• Where: coffee shop, restaurant, church, or phone.
• When: monthly person-to-person - convenient time of day - one to two+ hours
• Why:  honest life shares - giving & receiving - growing together
• How: sharing equally with few unrequested opinions - like a good game of tennis

How's a strong relationship like a good game of tennis?  You share equally and often like a tennis volley with an information-packet ball.  Each is respected or you won't continue to play.  You'll periodically meet at mutually agreeable times and courts.  You'll have similar expectations for volleying conversation.  You'll accommodate your partner's quirks and limitations.  You'll enjoy returning their shot from your racquet's sweet-spot at a similar energy level.  The conversation will be invigorating as if you're fully both connected; yet, independent too.

Please don't turn the joyful relationship into a win-lose game like tennis may be.  I heard Maryland's football coach once say his team's "care factor" was excellent.  The "care factor" measure correlated closely with success.  Close friends would measure their relationships high on the care-factor scale.

The sweet-spot of the racquet is where the vibrations of the racquet cancel out and the forces are more fully transferred into the ball return.  Those vibrations are irritating, fatiguing and even harmful to our bodies.  Yes, a good conversation and a good tennis volley are similar.  We all know how fatiguing unwanted "vibes" between people can be.  Bad vibes aren't okay within a close relationship - they continually wear down, erode, and destroy relationships.

The only church in town will be one group with a kind of personality of it's own.  There'll be sub-groups that'll have their own personalities too.   Within these "purposed" groups you'll find opportunities to develop friendships with people more like you.  These relationships will be like honestly walking side-by-side through life.  Discussions will likely engage the mind, senses, feelings, inner-man, and spirit too.  When our journey strays off track, a friend can help us "wake up" and return to the better way.

We're blinded to spiritual reality when we focus on ourselves and ignore who we actually are as creatures - creatures created by a living and active God.  He's interested and powerfully working through our todays, tomorrows, and our eternal future too - He says so.  Experiencing a relationship with Him in Christ is like no other - "I'm with Him."

Just for today...

"... we don't tell anybody what to do. People only accept and use advice they're ready for . . . When I am asked for advice, I know only what I would do if I were faced with the same problem, and not what would be right for another."  One Day at a Time (p. 331)

"I learned to trust no one, to stay silent at all costs, to stuff my feelings, never to stand up for myself, to take on more responsibility than I could handle, to love conditionally, and to tell white lies to cover up my home life. No wonder as an adult I perceived that close interpersonal relationships were like constantly moving targets.  Usually I was the one who was moving because I lacked the skills to develop and maintain healthy adult relationships."  Hope for Today (p. 331)

"He serves; She receives - Returns follow; Swings adapt."
"Volley sustained; Connected pair - Two as one; Wholly together."   Am I a Poet?

November 23rd - Identify, apply, and disposition the fear(s)

The story...

Lumbar defects were physical problem(s) that led me to feel: anxious, whiney, and powerless against them.  The fear also caused my really-strong back muscles to tighten up and compress my spine.  The "tightening" exasperated the problem and accelerated degradation - may lead to unrepairable nerve damage too.  Worrying doesn't "not hurt" and likely adds to future "hurt."

Worrying, anxiety, and fear may accelerate back pain.  Are worrying, anxiety, and fear ever warranted?  Truly, these emotions can spur us on towards a better course of action.  Fear-motivated life changes may result in pain avoidance.  It took me about a week to stop whining about the resurrected back pain - I experienced it about 15 years before.  Can we behave more "emotionally intelligent?"  It's possible to sense our emotions, better understand them, and disposition them when they've served their purposes.

With regards to my back problems; the medical system is designed to do what I can't do for myself.  Truly, the process needs my attention and involvement; but, they intervene to effect the change.  Most care givers seemed to love me along the way - they gave me what I needed.  Their care felt real good - kinda like receiving love.

There are some life truths that I don't want to face today.  For those, a reasonable amount of anxiety will help me remember and motivate me to action - to move forward or change.  It does make sense to be "in tune" with our emotions.  Taking that first step can be real hard.  I'm thankful for friends who shine the light of reality on our conditions.  We have a history of people caring for us.  Their kind intervention can be interpreted as love.

Many within the only church in town will be "okay" enough to listen to and care for their fellow pilgrims.  They'll actually hear other's words, emotions, self stories, and needs.   This inter-person care is a great part of being in the Body of Christ and walking rightly with God  (Micah 6:8).

Just for today...

"Just for today I will not be afraid of anything. If my mind is clouded with nameless dreads, I will track them down and expose their unreality . . . God is in charge of me and mine."  One Day at a Time (p. 328)

"I kissed her tears away, the way I wanted her to do for me when I was a child . . . I held her, and we cried together in joy and love."  Hope for Today (p. 328)

"Feelin truly sad; Can't say so - Nobody cares; Hidden woe."
"Best friend listens; Reflects veiled truth - Feeling to action; Held since youth."   Am I a Poet?

November 22nd - Rightly related to God?

The story...

I prefer a day: waking up at a consistent time with thankfulness; planning for & doing good; being honest - grounded in reality; loving me & others; exercising my body & mind - strengthening and stretching each; saying yes more than no; being quiet; dispatching potentially obsessive thinking within five minutes; tuning into my virtual spiritual radio - albeit the station's "staticy;" giving; being kind & receiving kindness; feeding my body & soul; seeking to understand before being understood; walking forward on my pilgrimage alongside close friends; and being a person through whom God is active.  Yet, my free will chooses to do differently each day.  Why?

My noble motives for behaving differently, even in the opposite direction, include my: need to be safe from harm; personal protection boundaries; scarcity of resources; American dream of the good life; acceptance by others; need to fix, manage, and control other people towards my vision of "our" good; avoiding fears from the past, present, and future; desire to receive good grades from the judge(s); escape from unfavorable circumstances; pain avoidance; telling of my good life story; loyalty to my family; and justifications for the way things are - "justified."

I expect that the first paragraph is about being rightly related to God and the second paragraph is about self protection and promotion.  The first paragraph was possible because my unholy self nature was judged, and found wanting.  I was redeemed and reconciled with God Himself in Christ - "I'm with Him." My part was believing on God and His great redemptive work in Christ.

The second paragraph characterizes me working out life by me and for me.  Thankfully, my conscience and the Spirit of God convicts me of this wrong way of being before I cause too much harm.  He restores me daily in a loving way.  My life seems to be continuing cycles of restoration that're heading in a good direction - like we might expect a loving Father to do for those who are His.

The PDCA model is good - yet, different - standardizing & sustaining change

The only church in town will learn and know that they can respond to His calling and be His.  They'll find fellow pilgrims to walk together with through life's circumstances.  Yes, a continuing series of restorative cycles that strengthen our need for receiving love from our heavenly Father - that kind of love is infectious - It can't sit still.  Love spreads far and wide - reflects His Light everywhere.

Just for today...

"Half an hour's meditation is essential except when you are very busy. Then a full hour is necessary."  Francis de Sales

"First I need to develop a relationship with God . . . Next, I learn to become at peace with myself . . .  I can't be that person when I'm overly controlled by guilt, fear, and resentment and negligibly aware of my gifts and talents . . . Lastly, I start acting responsibly toward others."  Hope for Today (p. 326)

"...conflicting views become merely different views, so our problems can be solved with tolerant understanding and mutual respect."  One Day at a Time (p. 326)

"What's to be; Anxious mind's plea - Presently abiding; Placid deep sea."   Am I a Poet?

November 20th - Why listen to uncomfortable realities?

The story...

"What's my husbands name? . . . Do you even know how many kids I have? . . . Do you care? . . . It's all about you."  This was the stinging message that I heard from one of my trusted reports.  She was making the claim that I cared for what she could produce and not truly for her as a person.  Whoa . . . the facts were clearly true . . . but wasn't the workplace suppose to be about work, accomplishment, and my objectives?  Wait, I meant to say "our" objectives - or did I?  As a supervisor, I wasn't suppose to get too close or have favorites - was I?  I could've justified my behaviors but it didn't sit well - I knew she was speaking "her" truth.   Was it possible to be the same good man in all of my endeavors?

Surely there were good examples out there - real people who still had their skin on 'em - not merely a glorified biography of the ideal.  Then, a guy was transferred to my department.  His current supervisor suggested that I witness his performance appraisal delivery.  I was surprised to see a virtuous man, honestly and respectfully, delivering his performance assessment along with their mutual understanding of their working relationship.  Wow ... I wanted to be more like him.  That good man, leader, and friend of many, died a few years later from cancer - another life circumstance that hurt.

The only church in town will be built on relationships - less-guarded and more honest relationships.  Yet, we can't realistically expect to relate well with everyone or even most people.  We're all different and most are operating in a different stage of life.  The community will be okay and respect all people as they "be."  Yet, they'll share within a better way - trusting in God.

Just for today...

"Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want  to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations."  George Bernard Shaw

"What about those times when I heard truths about myself that left me feeling angry, embarrassed, or upset? When given the occasion to hear or speak an uncomfortable reality, I have choices. I can hear it and grow, I can share it and grow, or I can ignore it in favor of maintaining my comfort zone."  Hope for Today (p. 325)

"Comfortably distant; Safer from hurt - Justified loneliness; His way's better."   Am I a Poet?

November 18th - "My life was mostly good - I'm thankful for that."

The story...

A close friend of mine met my mother, in her independent-living home, in November 2023.  I introduced him to her and they settled down to a one-hour conversation.  She shared her life story - past and present.  He in a chair and her laying comfortably in bed.  It was a great joy listening to my mother describe her life - mostly good but there was bad stuff too.  She shared her hope that her kids, grand kids, and great-grand kids would go to church.  Her greatest pain was the loss of her husband in 2011 - she described how she missed him every day.  They lived a good life and that made her happy.  The surprises and joys, in her current life, were centered around the different people that cared for her and met her needs.  "I never was around people like that, I really like them and some of them feel like friends."  That was her unexpected joy - she thought that relationships like those might be why she lived so long.

The only church in town will ideally be kinda like that independent-living home.  There will be some paid staff doing their jobs; but, most of the caring and loving will be shared among each other.  People living out their lives and faith, aligned with God's revealed Word, together.  The love my mother felt at the independent-living center surprised me each time I visited.  

What if we spent more time with the folks at church?  We might be surprised at the love we witness, receive and offer to others.  Many of us are clunky and different so love might appear in unexpected and surprising ways.  Love experienced is worthy.

Just for today...

"If I can see nothing but my troubles, I am seeing with limited vision. Dwelling on these troubles allows them to control me. Of course I need to do whatever foot-work is required, but I also need to learn to let go."  Courage to Change (p. 323)

"When I'm uncommunicative or dishonest in my interactions, I set myself apart and feel rejected. Conversely, open, truthful communication nurtures feelings of trust and encourages me to participate fully in life. However, as I begin to change my old habits, fear of rejection sometimes tempts me to respond in old ways."  Hope for Today (p. 323)

"Loved my momma; Sustained me - Loved me tall; We were we."
"She passed on; Achy yet aware - Thankfully abiding; In God's care."   Am I a Poet?

November 17th - Why serve others?

The story...

I was asked to serve on my county's Child and Family Services governing board.  He wanted me to ensure that this large receiver of public funds was not duplicating services and that the services were rendered effectively.  Non-profit service was new and I learned much over my four years.  First, I learned about the organization's: services, structure, processes. and board member roles. Then, I enjoyed working with my fellow volunteers, paid non-profit leaders, and some of the service providers.  During my last year, I chaired the board and presented our funding request to the United Way.  I asked for the largest contribution that was requested that year - the request was approved.  The experience was great.  I'm a better person because of it - thankful to all involved.  I'm thankful for the many people who care deeply for the social services within community.

What motivated me to serve within the workplace, community, or the church?  Was I affirming my virtue or capabilities?  Was I looking for group admiration or acceptance?  Was I looking for awards or trophies?   Was I building a well-rounded resume?  Did I want to be counted as a good versus bad character in the "game of life?"  Was I trying to absolve previously committed sin?  Was it a latent need to win my parent's approval?  Was I ashamed to say no?  Was I merely trying to be a good boy?

The only church in town will have needs for volunteers and service.  The noblest of motives will be offered and people will say "yes" for a variety of reasons.  When serving, we'll likely be thankful for the unexpected joy of being a bit less self-centered - actually serving and loving others.  That's part of life's unexpected, truly-good, stuff - "fruit."

Just for today...

"When I feel the call to service, I pray for knowledge of God's will for me to make sure it's not just me wanting to manipulate, control, or avoid something going on in my life."  Hope for Today (p. 322)

"...sometimes the most competent and helpful assert themselves over-strongly and so engender hostility in others . . . We penalize ourselves when we allow disapproval of another person to endanger the unity of the group."  One Day at a Time (p. 322)

"Ya like me?; This I care - Rejection hurts; I beware."
"Eyes off self; Helps me see - More going on; Than about me."     Am I a Poet?

November 15th - Love and respect requires cycles of restoration

The story...

I watched the Netflix series about the book Anne of Green Gables.  The book's a classic for a reason - the story teaches us much about life in a way that rings true. The protagonist, Anne, writes and prints an article for her school newspaper about justice and fairness.  She tries to make amends with a girl who takes offense with the article - it damaged her reputation.  The girl cuttingly says something like: "How could a person of a trashy upbringing like you know anything about fairness and justice?"  Anne thoughtfully and respectfully responded that she was the same person now as she was then.  She was worthy of love then and now - she always knew she deserved love but hadn't experience it.

"Ann with an 'E'" - Netflix series/

The only church in town will practice love and respect according to the grace and mercy that God the Father so freely offers us within the Lord Jesus the Christ.  Every man, woman, and child may experience love and respect.  Will church discipline be necessary when self-centered people hurt each other?  The discipline would be thoughtfully delivered along with love and respect.  Cycles of forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration will be ongoing.  Selfish bent people will walk together towards the same great hope.  The congregates will be thankful that God loves them, His creatures, and sustains them with grace, mercy, love, forgiveness and all power.

Just for today...

"I realized that the look, tone, or mood of another person toward me often has nothing to do with me . . . my extreme sensitivity is a form of conceit - I think I am the focus of everyone's actions. Am I so important that everything that goes on around me must have something to do with me? . . . what other people did and said reflected on them; what I did and said reflected on me."  Courage to Change (p. 320)

"It's not men's acts which disturb us - but our reaction to them. Take these away and anger goes. No wrong act of another can bring shame on you."  Marcus Aurelius

"When I feel a call for service, I pray for knowledge of God's will for me to make sure it's not just me wanting to manipulate, control, or avoid something going on in my life."  Hope for Today (p. 320)

"Reflecting words; Spew from mouth - Unhearing heart; Offensive to all."
"Sin debt toted; Heavy and sad - God's revealed Light; Son's atonement."   Am I a Poet?

November 14th - My survival skills

The story...

Most of us developed survival skills to make it through K-12 - our elementary, junior, and high school years.  Was high school when I was expected to learn and experience what I needed to be a full-functioning member of society?  The graduation speech said that we had limitless potential within the United States of America.  What did I do over those 13 learning years?

• Learned to obey the teacher, complete assignments, and value good grades.
• Progressed through boy scouts to the rank of "Life Scout."
• Fulfilled the job requirements of a paper delivery boy for 4 yrs. - wasn't motivated to sell new subscriptions but faithfully delivered the papers and collected the money.
• Built a large wooden tool box, smashed my thumb with a hammer, sewed my own reversible vest, and cooked potato soup.in junior-high shop class.
• Completed drivers education and was awarded a drivers license.
• Fulfilled the requirements of a drug store general worker and delivery boy for 2 yrs.  Crashed their cars several times.
• Developed friends - mostly from band and work experiences.
• Completed all the math classes offered and survived the English classes.
• Fell in love multiple times; yet, didn't experience the boy-girl closeness that I longed for.
  
  

My High School

Who was I at that graduation ceremony?

• Accepted Christ as my Savior at eight.
• Learned a work ethic and financial skills with the money I earned.
• Distanced myself from the church - worked every other Sunday.
• Became a story-teller to better engage in groups.
• Looked for love where I thought it might be found - love remained elusive.
• Interacted socially but didn't really felt like I fit in.
• Accepted at a state college - to be an engineer.  I hoped to start over - to be somebody.
• Learned survival skills - boundaries, armor, and protective habits.

The only church in town will be the place where you can learn how your Creator revealed that you can be truly okay.  Okay with God, you, and your neighbors too.  I was so thankful, in 1980, when Steve and Marlene said to me:  "We'd like you to go to church with us - please come."

Just for today...

"I was powerless over my childhood. The survival skills that I developed made my adult life unmanageable."  Hope for Today (p. 319)

"It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery."  Galatians 5:1 (NASB)

"Who they pretend; I am not - Don the clothes; Try as ought."
"Heart went cold; Opportunity lost - Apart from Him; Horrendous cost."   Am I a Poet?

November 9th - Why not ask?

The story...

I didn't get what I wanted and needed because I didn't ask?  Could it be?  Yes it be.

Why not kindly and respectfully ask for what you need or want?  In many cases, justification ain't necessary.  Others could've expressed love by meeting your needs if they merely knew.  They coulda revealed their own needs in kind.

The only church in town would be like an honest and thankful family that sees others by the light of God's revealed Word and presence.  Each wonderfully unique and essential to the whole.  They'd express love by caring for each other - they'll receive love and accept the care.  Love within their inner-person, their heart, will be reflected and expressed within an intimate-ongoing relationship with their Creator - their Sustainer.  That's the kinda graceful place where I wanna be.

Just for today...

"I tried to make them feel guilty by telling them how much I had done for them, or I complained that they never did their part. It never occurred to me that I could simply and politely ask for what I wanted . . . Today I am creating a better way of living, free of guilt and deception."  Courage to Change (p. 314)

"I seldom knew what was good for me, yet I knew what was best for others and didn't hesitate to tell them . . . I feared other people's anger and would do anything to avoid it, yet I was oblivious to my own . . . I can no longer harbor resentment and remain ignorant of my part in creating it . . . My entire life was transformed as a result of taking responsibility for myself, becoming willing to change, and taking action."  Hope for Today (p. 314)

"Want those jeans; Make me whole - Like the group; I'll fit in."
"I was different; What they needed - When I tried; Lost my way."
"Could've asked; You might say - Be the man; Lonely hurts."   Am I a Poet?