February 19th - But he doesn't know the territory

The story...

PBS television shows, shot in olde England as the backdrop, are compelling for me.  The language, vernacular, customs, figures of speech, and left-hand steering are different; yet, similar to what I'm used to.  It'd be comfortable there; but, I expect I'd be attentive and curious about differences.  It'd be great to to tour London and even slog through those really-old hiking trails west of London for a week or so.  I'm told those old trails pass through castles, Roman ruins, and farmer's fields too.  I'm learning about the territory yet it's not reasonable to claim to know the territory.  Even if I complete a trip, I won't know the territory as well as someone who actually lives their life there.  The idea reminds me of a song from the 1962 film "The Music Man" that was set in River City, Iowa - "but he doesn't know the territory."  

The Music Man - 1962

Professor Harold Hill is the lead character who sells the small town on the idea of the "think" system for playing musical instruments. He's a flim-flam man that bilks the town out of money for new band instruments and uniforms - he had no ability to teach band.  He teaches them to hum the "Minuet in G" as part of a thinking process that will supposedly lead them to play their shiny instruments without instruction.  In reality, he's stalling until he receives the money and jumps on the train out of town.  The librarian is the only person in town who actually understands music.  She's torn between the reality of the flim-flam man and the wonderful imagined reality that the town's bought into - they're happier and more hopeful following the charlatan.  She also falls in love with both the vision and the man too - to err is human.

How will the only church in town escape the trap of trusting in the charismatic pastor rather than their God?  Who would want to remain in a "imaginary" condition living the same-old life?  The Word of God speaks of the reality of being in Christ - the relationship that actually bears God-given fruit.  Once heard, believed, and experienced; they'll be tapped into the vine that produces the kind of fruit that the whole community will be blessed through.  Why would a man trust a charismatic man rather than his all-powerful Creator?

Just for today...

"None of us sees the world as it is but as we are, as our frame of reference, or maps, define the territory."  Stephen Covey

"The only way to release ourselves from the hold of those dark demons is to break the isolation and bring them into the light by sharing with others who understand."  Hope for Today (p. 50)

"Follow him; His shoes shine - Wanna follow Him; Self blocks Way."   Am I a Poet?

February 13th - But we don't have to go anymore...

The story...

I moved to Duluth, MN, for one year, on a teaching assignment - yes, I've been a teacher.  UMD welcomed me; the students asked me to join them in the stuff that students like to do; the church pulled me into their family; and I lived in a small apartment.  One morning, the apartment manager asked me where I was going on the past Sunday morning.  I told her that I was walking to church.  She said: "I thought so, I saw you were carrying a bible."  She was perplexed and a bit frustrated - "You're a professor, you don't have family here, and you're free to do whatever you want.  Why would you go to church?  We used to have to do that here; but, not anymore - I'm free to do whatever I want."  I shared how it felt to be pulled into a welcoming church family who invited me into their homes and families.  I even played "broom ball" and fished with some of them - "I feel loved there."  She says: "huh, I might try church again." 

I don't think that the only church in town would spend much time reminiscing about the "good old days" when everybody was expected to go to church and try to behave morally right.  Teach me against my will and I'll be of the same opinion still - and likely continue to behave in ways that are more true to who I truly am deep down inside.  

 

Where the story played

Just for today...

"I tried to get God to listen to me through my prayers.  He did, once I stopped telling Him what to do."  Hope for Today (p.44)

"I didn't like myself because I wasn't living up to what I believed to be true about others."  Courage to Change (p. 44)

"Get yer way, Stuck with you - Love together, Powerfully two."  Am I a Poet?

February 8th - What's Love 💖 Got to Do with It?

The story...

Many people are uncomfortable with the message "I love you."  There's a lot "packed" into the word "love" and it can obviously be misunderstood.  What do they mean and how does the love message receiver respond?  Ideally, would we be able to say "I love you" to most of the people attending the only church in town?  What does that kind of love look and feel like?  What's the source?  Is it something you feel, a measure of the quality of the relationship, or an experienced gift of God?  Is it a verb (something that you do) or a noun (something that you can fall in and out of)?

Before I was born, C.S. Lewis wrote the book The Four Loves and presented it on a radio broadcast in 1958.  I've listened to this broadcast on my CD's many times.  He provided four helpful definitions of love, from four Greek words, used to describe that one English word - LOVE.   Four types of love in a nutshell: Storge is a normal kind of affection or familiarity that's missed when it's not present; Philia is like friendship; Eros is the romantic type of love reserved for the "couples" who are absorbed in each other; Agape is the unconditional type of love similar to the love God offers us through His Son.  

Courtesy of Dunkin' Donuts

Will we truly find "agape" love within the only church in town?  It requires vulnerability with the ever present risk of being hurt, rejected, or even wounded with a broken heart. Yes, the only church in town would be characterized as one where the members were free to express agape love.

Just for today...

"In the past I focused on anyone but myself . . . trying to control the disorder, discomfort, and lack of safety and security of my own childhood."  Hope for Today (p. 39).

"It is unrealistic to expect everyone to like me."  Courage to Change (p. 39)

"You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind."  "You shall love your neighbor as yourself."  Matthew 22:37 (NASB)

"Risked love, Heart broke - He lifted up, Formed Us anew."   Am I a Poet?

February 7th - Bearing and experiencing fruit

The story...

My dad and I had things in common that became apparent before he passed on to the next life.  I inherited some of his physical features, picked up some of his habits, learned some of his life principles; yet, there're some traits that reflect more of our inner man.  For example, we both were compelled to do cross-word puzzles, eat sardines out of the can, and find enjoyment from feeding the birds.  

2023 bird feeding scene

It was the only bird feeder, that I knew of, in our "neck of the woods."  I was surprised that I had a need to show you a picture with the variety of red-headed wood peckers that are often there - vanity?  Yet, this picture reflects more of how the scene normally looked.  I truly care for the birds that congregate there and sense this in my inner-man.  It costs money, time, and space to care for them.  Hawks and owls can grab them, two chickadees were crushed in the squirrel-protection device, fierce weather, and even my neglect to refill the feeders may have caused my bird friends to doubt the provider.  I obviously didn't enjoy or watch them continuously.  Watching birds does seem to increase my personal sense of: love, joy, peace, patience, faithfulness, kindness, gentleness and self-control - fruit.  

I wonder what God experiences when he focuses on the only church in town?   I expect that He loves His creation and receives love from their worship and praise as redeemed creatures.  Are His eyes always on us?

Just for today...

"...I always compared myself to others, particularly my family members, and vowed to be better than them.  I sought the elation of winning and wanted to be praised.  My constant comparing and competing gradually edged most people out of my life.  Ultimately I was not even good enough for myself, and attitude that led me to harsh self-abuse."  Hope for Today (p. 38) 

"Drawn to feed, God's creation - He sustains; Prostrate heart."   Am I a Poet?

February 5th - Idealized Hopes

 The story ...

The lyrics, of the MercyMe's "I Can Only Imagine," kindles wonderful images in both my imagination and inner man.  What will the afterlife be like?  Scripture reveals images such as God's throne room in Isaiah 6 - it seems we're given just enough to establish a confident hope. 

I imagined how my future spouse would fulfill my love needs.  It probably didn't occur to me that she might also be hoping that I might fulfill her love needs too.  These idealized hopes likely kept us moving forward - striving for an unattainable "best."  I've heard it said that insecure single people, who marry to fill the void they feel, will likely idolize their spouse.  If and when their spouse doesn't fulfill their fantasy, then the idolizing may turn into demonizing?

I can only imagine the only church in town, that might be characterized as "the best," yet I doubt that it can ever truly exist.  Personally, I've spent too many destructive hours critiquing the church, and the people in it, for not meeting my expectations.  Might the attainable good church be the place where people learn to do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with God in Christ (Micah 6:8).

Might the "good" only church in town best be communicated as a painting?  I admire those who can paint what they see or imagine in their inner person.  I'm not an artist; yet, I did invest a chunk of my life imagining, planning, and painting.  I understand that it's best to merely display a painting and let the viewer decide what it means to them.  So, here it goes - my first public display of artwork. 

Thoughts for the day ...

"Think," yet resist those thoughts that are impulsive, compulsive or reactive.  Aretha Franklin has something good to say about thinking.

"God of Hope; All joy and peace - Tyrant self; Futility cease."  Am I a Poet?

February 2nd - Hoping for Love

The story ...

I walked up to the door of my seventh-grade Sunday-school room.  The girl that I secretly loved was with a friend.  The friend asked me to show them my fingernails.  I paused before extending my open hand and fingers with my palm facing the linoleum floor.  They both broke out laughing - "you're like a girl!  Guys show their nails as a fist with palm up."  I was secretly crushed, likely tried to pretend I wasn't affected, yet my emotions must have betrayed my internal reality.  My secret search for love was publicly dashed.  I added a few plates to my personal armor to guard against that from happening again.  Oh... the pain of rejection - my wounded heart!

The church where the scene played out

How might the one church in town have helped?  My Sunday school teacher might have noticed a change in behavior.  Someone might have realized that I had no good friends at church.  As some aptly describe, I felt like I was alone on an island; yet, surrounded by people.  My parents forced me to go to some of the youth meetings - I didn't engage.  I became cynical and critical about the group that rejected me.  

In High School, I found a job that allowed me to miss every other Sunday service.  I tried to bring order and meaning into my life without God's help.  Was a right relationship with God and friends possible?

Thoughts for the day ...

"So I continued to hide and did not accept who I really was."  Hope for Today (p. 33)

"Today, being humble means climbing down from the ladder of judgement of myself and others, and taking my rightful place in a worldwide circle of love and support . . . My thoughts are my teachers.  Are they teaching me to love and appreciate others, or are they teaching me to practice isolation?"  Courage to Change (p. 33)

"Sought love; Illusive hope -  Hurt, guilty shame; Left me alone."  Am I a Poet?

January 30th - Stinking Thinking

The story...

About twenty years ago, my assigned Human Resources representative and I were discussing ongoing problems within my work group that she characterized and labeled as "stinking thinking."  Then she said something like: "They need a leader to help them: remember past successes and celebrate new ones, know they're capable; feel valued; serve each other; view problems as opportunities; test new ways often; learn alongside others habitually; respect each other... - then they'll engage and be the best version of themselves together.  As their manager and leader, what's your part in making this happen?"

What did I do differently?  Focused on demonstrating RESPECT for all work group members in word and deed.  Played together more often - a Friday afternoon paint-ball session helped build teamwork.  Learned more about each group member and what/who was important to them.  We solved interpersonal disputes quickly in more sustainable ways - they knew that they'd be working it out in my office, and even bring in H.R. help, if efforts stalled.  There were many positive changes that we made together; yet, much of the change started with me being a better leader and manger.

Yes, there was some stinking thinking going on within me that was strangely reflected within the group's interactions, behaviors, and performance together.  I started with "me" rather than attempting to craft plans to fix the problems that I could identify with "them."  The resulting changes in what we did, and who we were, were worthy of the transformation investment.  I became a better leader, manager, and person as a result of the growing that we worked out together - in community.

The only church in town will easily find fault within each other as they worship, praise, learn, grow, serve and walk side-by-side.  Real change and growth will occur when they internalize the value of the slogan "let the change begin with me."  The gospel will offer the opportunity for each person to be a new creature in Christ - the intended version of you.  Then each person, and the group as a whole, can be more free "in deed." (Galatians 5:1).

Just for today...

"I watched, monitored, controlled, and exercised my need to feel hurt. I felt self-pity, embarrassment, superiority, resentment, and anger.  All of these took obsessive turns filling my mind and heart. I wondered why I indulged in these draining behaviors and emotions, which only resulted in further misery for me."  Hope for Today (p. 30)

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come."  1 Corinthians 5:17 (NASB)

"Listened and heard; We did and lived"   Am I a Poet?

January 28th - How can you give $20 if it ain't in your pocket?

The story...

Once upon a time, I made an effort to be a more generous person.   When I saw people in need, I would have resources to help them.  It seemed reasonable to be prepared with USA currency in my wallet.  So, I began the habit of carrying four or five twenties for gifting.  My habit lasted for about a year - I didn't give away many $20 bills.  

Carrying the money didn't open my eyes, heart, and habits enough to recognize, decide and go through the process of doling out cash.   I did want to alleviate needs in a loving way; but, my efforts were clunky.  Maybe it was because my eyes primarily were focused on me - self?

Although that experiment didn't last, it did teach me more about myself and how I might better work out my life.  I believe that my heart is often good and that people, in general, know that I care about them.  Yet, I want to be more true to who I actually am.  

This reminded me of this blog's purpose:

Those who know me well might describe me as a life-long learner who values honesty and integrity. A story teller who loves working out his life with and through other people. As I progress through life, I continue to appreciate both my strengths and flaws. I know that I need to work out my life alongside other pilgrims in order to be a good actor in this epic story of life. Yet, the idea of being an actor is detestable. I wake up each day purposing to be the man I truly am. Oh... to work out every minute within God's will - bearing fruit.

The only church in town will help you work out you natural talents and gifts within community.  There, you will hear about the Spirit of Christ Who indwells His "believers."  He produces fruit within those who are His.  You can't work, or try, to muster up that kind of fruit through your own efforts.  Yet, you can truly bear His fruit of: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control in a way that will be unique to the person you were created to be.  That's the good stuff in life that I expect we'll all hunger for after our first taste.

Just for today...

"I cannot give to anyone else something I don't have. I learn to love myself enough to seek my own healing.  When I can love myself as I am, I'm better able to accept the human limitations of all God's other children."  Hope for Today (p. 28)

"Wanna help; I don't see - God's got this; Maybe thru me."    Am I a Poet?

January 25th - "Try" to be better or "be" better?

The story...

Trying to: elongate my spine, strengthen my "core," stretch all those muscles, perform new exercises, and adapt to my lumbar-caused pain seems never ending.  Once, I felt like I'd lost my way and needed encouragement from my physical therapist.  She was serious when she told me that she didn't want to hear "I can't" anymore - she wanted to hear "I can."  She directed me to keep a log of what I did, how long I did it, and how much "new" muscle pain or "old" nerve pain I felt.  This cause-and-effect analysis was meant to record how long I was doing my suspected cause of pain and what I did to alleviate it - a clearer look at the reality of my condition and coping methods too.

It's true that my body's getting older and will likely require periodical adaptations in order to move and live as I wish to, or need to, without assistance.  Yet, I don't want my "body" focus to be my primary focus.  I don't plan on giving up; but, I'd rather not try so hard.  I hope to develop a physical fitness routine that'll sustain me throughout the next 20 years.

Over the last 25 years of my personal and work life, "try" has been and evil word in regards to personal commitments.  I prefer to focus on what you or I commit to actually do.  It seems that the same idea applies here.

The only church in town will focus more on who we are and what we do than our physical condition.  Yes, they will focus on the condition of our souls.  Strangely God doesn't ask us to "try" to be a better person either.  He asks that we receive His provision for our past misdeeds and trust Him to change our inner-person to be more like the ideal that was displayed in the life of His Son.  They call it the process of sanctification that He works out in us as we abide in Him - He does the heavy lifting. 

He's a really good Father.  I'm so... thankful that He did a great work for and within me.  The only church in town will focus on our being who we are in Christ with little emphasis on trying to be something we ain't.

Just for today...

"I found that I was overly interested in others because I had such a low opinion of myself."  Courage to Change (p. 25)

"Bad habits and compulsions cannot be conquered by determined resolutions or promising ourselves that we won't go on doing this or that . . . I  stopped trying to force myself to eliminate my faults when I found it didn't work."  One Day at a Time (p. 25)

"I was raised to be industrious and goal oriented. Today I am discovering what play means."  Hope for Today (p. 25)

"Told to do; Said I'd try - Ended failure; Wondered why."
"Trusting Him; Father's hand - Peace in chaos; Promised land."   Am I a Poet?

January 22nd - Favorite old pants...

The story...

Meet my favorite pants.  They're old, frayed, stained, fit right, sturdy, unlabeled, and drab.  I can do most anything wearing these pants; though, they aren't welcome where people expect me to "dress for the occasion."  I've purchased replacements; but, they didn't seem the same.  I like that old and familiar heavyweight-duck-canvas cotton and the stains and frays too.

Will there come a day when I must get rid of the pants?  We all know the answer although I sometimes pretend otherwise.

I wonder where my old pants will go today?  Will I put them in the Aquatic Center locker to wait while I swim?  Will they participate in replacing the faucet and trying again to fix the Impala's power seats? Will I put a nicer shirt on and wear them to my men's group tonight?  Will I hang them up next to my dress pants - NO!  They don't have to look nice - I like 'em just the way they are.

You may feel a need to dress up, to be a better version of yourself, when you attend the only church in town.  Yet, God is graceful and desires a relationship with you as you that is - humble, honest, okay and unpretentious.  Remember, He is the one Who created you as you are.  He makes no mistakes and has offered the way to atone for your sin defects through our Lord Jesus the Christ's sacrifice.

No, I likely won't wear these pants to a Sunday Morning Service.  And, I do enjoy cleaning up and wearing pants with fewer defects when worshipping, praising, learning, and fellowshipping together.  Yes, it sure is great to know that I'm loved by Him - just as I am.

Just for today...

"What we pray for may not be what is best for us. We are only able to see a little way, and our vision is clouded by our present situation and daily happenings and distractions."  One Day at a Time (p. 22)

"I focused on the character defects of those around me. My need to be perfect fed into my preoccupation with others . . . I am still learning to treat myself with gentleness, kindness, and love. I'm still learning that I cannot change those around me, but I can change how I treat them - with dignity and respect."  Hope for Today (p. 22)

"When I found him on the floor, I still didn't help him into bed. But I did put a blanket over him before stepping over his body and going to bed myself. This, to me, was detachment with love."  Courage to Change (p. 22)

"As I am; He saved me - Redeemed position; His to be."   Am I a Poet?

January 19th - Virtual bars of guilt and shame

The story...

When I was little guy hanging onto my mother's dress in the grocery store, I was tempted to take a piece of penny candy from one of those huge bins.  One day I made the decision, let go of my momma's dress, looked around, picked up the candy, stuffed it in my pocket, and sweated through the long checkout line.  That is the first deliberate sin that I remember.  I felt guilt and shame - it certainly didn't end there.

Where's the record of the good and bad that I'm responsible for?  God is all knowing; the government keeps a record; the old performance reviews are archived or trashed; some people have a fuzzy sense of opinion along with memories of a few critical incidents; yet, most of it remains within my own psyche.  Some memories might trigger needed forgiveness and restoration; yet, most of them are self imposed guilt and shame that's rotting somewhere within the back of my mind.  Might the joke be on us for holding on, suppressing, reinterpreting, or periodically magnifying the not-so-good parts of us?

The only church in town will preach and teach that sin is a impenetrable barrier between us and God.  In fact, His Word says that we can't have a right relationship with Him due to our sin.  Worse yet, there's nothing we can do about it - we were born that way.  We must be reborn spiritually - old man dead and our new man positioned "in Christ."  This "Good News" is good because God provided the way to be restored both for this life and for all eternity too - true freedom from the penalty of sin.  He did the heavy lifting - we need to believe Him, trust Him, and live that truly good life in Christ.

Just for today...

"I used to live in my own little prison, locked in by my feelings of hatred and shame. Now I'm free."  Hope for Today (p. 19)

"Today I seek to become a little more accepting of myself, a little more comfortable in my own skin . . . I will remember to be gentle with myself today, trusting that the healing will come." Courage to Change (p. 19)

"Now there was a man of the Pharisees, named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews; this man came to Jesus at night and said to Him, “Rabbi, we know that You have come from God as a teacher; for no one can do these signs that You do unless God is with him.” Jesus responded and said to him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless someone is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.”  John 3:1-3 (NASB)

"I took; I hurt - I tried; I failed."
"Hidden loneliness; Shunned light - Believed God; Grew up."   Am I a Poet?

January 18th - A peaceful life

The story...

One day I had few responsibilities, obligations, pains, or unmet obligations.  The weather was beautiful, the house was warm and I was well fed - I felt loved too.  I guess you could characterize my day as peaceful; yet, I knew that most of the days ahead wouldn't be like that.  Even within those good conditions, I knew that there would be a storm on the horizon.

What are the ingredients of peacefulness?  Maybe I'd be peaceful if: all those within my circle of concern are without need; my favorite sports teams are all successful; the weather is "good;" my investments are valued close to their all-time highs, my health is within the top 10% for my age group; the other government parties don't have too much power; there's nothing I need to fix; my work is admired; people let me know that they love me; and my pastor is what he preaches - an example of imputed righteousness worked out in word and deed.  That ain't all going to happen.  Must we disengage and isolate from the world to sense ongoing peacefulness?

The only church in town will share what God revealed to and through the Apostle Paul as he wrote about the actualities of his gifted life from prison.  He enjoyed a gift of peace from the Spirit of God - a sort of peace that permeates your being from a source that's God himself.  The Spirit of God works through those who are righteous in God's sight - a righteousness that only God Himself can provide through faith in the redeeming work of Christ.

Praise God, be thankful, walk humbly, love your neighbor as yourself, and live peacefully my friend.  Peace can be found walking humbly with God, your Father "Abba," in Christ.

Just for today...

"I had never experienced a peaceful way of life. With myself, I was constantly fighting against the guilt, fear, and anger that ruled my life. With others, I was always fighting for some cause or belief, trying to make them see that my position was the right one. Of course I never won, and the wars never ceased."  Hope for Today (p. 18)

"Paul from prison; Paul from beach - Sanctified suffering; Imagined pleasure."
"God use me; Like Paul - Wring me dry; Fill anew."   Am I a Poet?

January 17th - Working out life from a new tool box...

 The story...

Long ago, over dinner in Bethel Maine, a woman from Xerox gave me advice - it stuck.  I've shared this advice with 100's of people and I don't even remember her name.  Everybody seemed to understand the advice and its application too.  I'd recently been promoted from engineer to engineering manager.  She explained the difference between the two tool boxes that I had at my disposal.  The old set of tools had served me well; but, I needed a new set to better "lead" and "manage" the group.  Surely, it was wise to oil, and occasionally apply, the tools in the old box; yet, the new set must be developed and applied to leverage the group towards...

I tried leading this group long ago - thank you "Murray House" 

Strangely, I sense a need to cleanup and change the tool box that I've been using for the last ten years.  Here are seven tools that I think I need to add or dust off, oil, and use more frequently:  

• "Bigger" Ears:  Listen to others without opinion or thoughts of fixing, managing, or controlling.
• Get Out the Door:  Move from thinking about to doing more readily - take that first step.
• Thankfulness:  Within my prayers, activities, & relationships - on both "Light" & "Dark" days.
• Exercise & Stretch:  Enable my body to go where He and I will to go...
• Invest:  Build up others & thoughtfully transfer what I have to 'em too.
• Keep the End in Mind:  Be eternally focused and earthly good too.
• Honest in Self Assessment:  Remain humble - glorify God.

The only church needs you to work out your life with 'em.  You need 'em too even though it may currently be a latent need.  Bring your toolbox and be ready to work out your life with 'em.  Once there, you may find the need to add a tool, reuse an old tool, or replace your tool box with a new one that...

Just for today...

"I will make myself learn to use a new set of tools: tolerance, kindness, patience, courtesy, love and humor - and a firm determination to do what is necessary to improve my life."  One Day at a Time (p. 17)

"I often restrain myself for fear that others will misunderstand and criticize me."  Hope for Today (p. 17)

"Toolbox lugged; Fix again - All I got; Tired tools."
"Gifted anew; Risk to add - Thoughtfully build; New man."   Am I a Poet?

January 9th - Letting others, within our circle(s) of concern, be...

The story...

If I could go back in time, how would I intervene, with the younger version of me, in order to avoid some of the trouble and brokenness that came my way?  I'm not sure if I'd want advice from a meddlesome-future version of me.  I might've told him to mind his own business and leave me alone to work out my own life.  If I'm not sure that I would want to "try" to change me, then why have I tried to fix, manage, and control other people?

If I could turn back time

Do I need all the people within my circle of concern to feel, and be, okay in order for me to be okay?  If so, I'll never be okay.  Am I responsible for the aims and choices of those people within my circle of concern?  Certainly not!  Is my need to share my life experiences a misplaced onus for desiring to control their lives so that I can feel better about me and my life?  Maybe...  

It would be great if the only church in town was your "ideal" church - it won't be.   Just go already and begin walking according to God's revealed truth along with other pilgrims - a better future, beyond your imagination, awaits.

Just for today...

"Once I was able to see my suffering as my own reaction to others, I could begin to identify my contribution to the problem. Sometimes my part is bringing up something that was better left unsaid, or starting a serious conversation at an inappropriate time. Other times my part is harboring unrealistic expectations. When I see my part in the pattern, I can choose a response other than suffering. There is no need for me to suffer because of the behavior of others."  Hope for Today (p. 9) 

"It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery."  Galatians 5:1 (NASB)

"But when the applause of others becomes the reason for my behavior and necessary for me to feel satisfied, then I have given them power over me."  Courage to Change (p. 9)

"Prayer waned; Worry stepped in - Fix everybody; Manipulative sin."
"Better me; What they need - Loved & loving; Starter seed."    Am I a Poet?

January 4th - My thinking propels me towards...

The story...

In 1983, I wanted a 1976, Volvo 240.  I researched, stared at the photos, imagined what it would be like to own one, and was convinced that it was the best possible car I could afford.  I sought it out and found it for sale from an ex-U of M football player.  I even ignored the guys wife asking: "do you like to work on cars?" The only part of the car that was good was my admiring how good my wife looked driving it home - that first day.

Where does my thinker want to send me?  My self-absorbed nature wants to take me towards comfort, praise, security, affirming group-think, competition, awards, legacy, pleasure, and admiration as I gaze into the mirror.  My spirit desires a loving and right relationship with my Creator, the giving and receiving of love from others, honest and open relationships with close friends, continuing growth within community, and the fruit of the indwelling Spirit of God born without my trying to produce them.  The different types of Spirit fruit may be found in Galatians 5:22-24.

A wise man knows where to go and how to get there.  First, he's gotta know where he is and what state's most desirable.  He's got to know what condition his condition is in.  He knows that he doesn't know what he doesn't know so he seeks the truth.  How will I know if and when my thinking patterns are aiming and propelling me towards a destination where I don't wanna go?

The only church in town will introduce people to the Word of God and how they might develop a saving, active, and eternal loving relationship with their Creator, their Sustainer, in Christ.  God's Spirit will produce fruit within the lives of those who are His - the evidence of the "good life" that you may be unaware of, seeking or enjoying.  Why not come to God's table, enjoy the good stuff, and share it with others?  I hope that you don't try to satisfy yourself by merely hoping for it, reading about it, trying to do it on your own, or admiring it worked out within other people's lives.

Just for today...

"My own way of thinking deceives me. I can see but a little way."  One Day at a Time (p. 4)

"When I admit that my life is unmanageable, I don't admit that I am a bad person. In my attempts to maintain the delusion of exercising power where I am powerless, my life has become disorderly."  Hope for Today (p. 4)

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,"  Galatians 5:22-24 (NASB)

"Imagine so; Got no fear - Other says other; Plug thy ear."   Am I a Poet?

January 3rd - Cycles of continual improvement - growth

The story...

The nation of Israel's history reads like continuing cycles of restoration to a more right relationship with God.  They drifted away from what they were told and experienced great pain in separation; though, reconciliation was good.  I've heard it said that they might be a good picture of a strengthening, growing, and lasting marriage too.  People's self-focused natures tends to pull them apart; but, the marriage commitment helps restore the relationship - over and over again.  Each restorative cycle often grows both marriage partners and their relationships with God too.

I'm so thankful for my marriage partner and the personal growth that we've experienced together and individually too.  Similarly, this kind of growth can happen within the only church in town -continual cycles of pain, love experienced, and restoration.  Yes, suffering, pain and brokenness often seem to be precursors for real and sustainable change cycles over time - growth.  

Just for today...

"I can do nothing to change the past except stop repeating it in the present . . . Taking some tiny action each day can be much more effective than weeks and months of inactivity followed by a frenzied attempt to make radical changes overnight."  Courage to Change (p. 3)

"Each minute, each hour, each day, I smile a little more, let go of yesterday a little more, and live in today a little more."  Hope for Today (p. 3)

"Self-made mess; Change da way - Loved and loving; Live each day."   Am I a Poet?

January 2nd - God's intervention clarifying expectations

The story...

In 1980, I expected to: begin a career as a sales engineer selling industrial robots; marry within a couple years; invest my growing capital in corporations for continual wealth growth; buy a house; drive a convertible; experience adventurous vacations; have four kids; and continue to live out a rebellious sort of ideals - to be free.  In 1981, reality went differently than I expected.  It was as though God pulled, maybe yanked, me in His direction.  When were those key points when God seemed to directly intervene?

Here's my take on the key related factual events, listed chronologically by my age:

8.  Walked to front of neighborhood-children-evangelistic meeting and accepted Jesus the Christ as my Savior.

15. Lost and alone in the dark canoeing in the Boundary Waters, MN.  I promised to dedicate my life to God if He saved me from my predicament - I saw the light of the campfire less than one minute after making my commitment to Him.

16. Worked every other Sunday and drifted away from attending church services.

18. Fully engaged in a self-absorbed college life and stopped attending church.

22. After a period of brokenness, I read the four gospels and was surprised to learn God's story in Christ - new good news to me. Miraculous auto accident avoidance and three incredibly unlikely personal interactions with those who I now believe to have been directed by the Spirit of God.  Steve and Marlene invite me to church - I said yes.

23. Moved to Knoxville, TN and people directly intervene in my life.  They seem to've been led by the Spirit of God.  They lead me to study the Word of God - believe and "be" differently.

26. Dejected by seemingly unbearable "religious'" expectations for "trying" to live a "Christian" life.  Bill Job explains the grace of God - God works out all that's good and that I was identified with Christ and right with God solely by what Christ did for me.

28. We attend a dispensational church that more rationally interpreted God's provisions for we gentiles -  Pauline theology.  We were fully engaged in bible study and the church.

40. Kid(s) resent being told how to be good by following religious practices and principles.  They expose the difference between what we said and did - they also wanted to be free of religion.  A hyper-grace like message seemed to allow the freedom for us to walk a more "sinful" path while under the protective umbrella of the grace of God.  My prayer life might've revealed the problem.

60. Brokenness again leads me to more honestly assess my life and faith walk.  I develop more honest and close relationships while working out my faith in the Light.  I disengaged from those trying to "run" the church and gave up "trying" to be good.  I stopped attempting to fix, manage, and control other people according to what I thought was best.  Trusted by placing my hopes for me and others in the "hands of God."  My life actually began to "bear" fruit that both I, maybe others too, enjoyed.  

The only church in town will lead you to God through His Word.  They'll direct you to God's revelation of how we can have a right relationship with our Holy Creator.  They'll believe the Gospel truth of what God's already done for us in Christ.  Our work is to believe (John 6:29).

Just for today...

"... it is our expectations, not our loved ones, that have let us down . . . learn to treat our needs as important and appropriate, and to treat ourselves as deserving . . . if we stop insisting that our needs be met according to our will, we might discover that all the love and support we need is already at our fingertips."   Courage to Change (p. 2)

"I will not fall in with . . . craving for punishment to relieve his or her guilt. I will not scold and weep, for it will not overcome the difficulties that we are trapped in . . . I pray that I may stop and think before I do or say anything whatever."  One Day at a Time (p. 2)

"'Look back without staring.' As long as I kept staring at my past without experiencing my feelings about it, I stayed mired in fear, resentment, and self-pity . . . Only after I stopped long enough to feel my anguish, bitterness, and emptiness could I let them go and move ahead."   Hope for Today (p. 2)

"Five senses; Limited view - Spiritual truth; Reveal anew."   Am I a Poet?

January 1st - Journey to Better Times

The story...

I've made a new years resolution that signaled hope for more and better fruit to be born from my life and from those within my circle of concern too.  The resolution was doable and built on truth.  I found it to be true in my earlier years and knew it was likely to build better personal character traits.   It was a good place on the morn of this first day of ...

You gotta leave this to go for that.  "This" is normal even if it ain't comfortable.  "That" is like "two birds in a bush" - we may want to hang onto "this" in our hand.  For me, it's been easier to change after I've had the opportunity to verbally appraise the current situation with a friend.  Maybe this kind of life assessment happens for many on the last day of December prompting new-years resolutions on January 1st.  A quick internet search estimates that <10% of Americans follow thorough on their new-years resolutions.  Given my resolution choice, I expect an 80% probability of success.  Why not?

For me, my resolution will help me grow my personal character, relationships and faith.  And, the "doing" of my resolution should result in my holding "things" and the "cares of this world" more loosely.  How about your change resolution?

The only church in town will "generally" be a God's Word knowing, faithful, honest, helping, and loving group of people.  Our idealistic picture of what that one church might be will be wrong.  Why?  We'll find the wide range of personalities, capabilities, knowledge, coping mechanisms, life stories, shame, guilt, pride, and fruit-bearing capabilities there.  The relationships that you might find there are part of the good stuff in life where real personal and spiritual growth might be cultivated.  I hope that you make a resolution to become more involved within your church community.  Maybe you'll expect less and live being thankful for what you receive.  Please accept my happy new-years wishes.

Just for today...

"We all have dark times in our lives, but the journey to better times is often what makes us happier, stronger people. When we stop expecting instant relief, we may come to believe that where we are today is exactly where God would have us be."  Courage to Change (p. 1)

"They see themselves in me, I see myself in them, and we learn to love and accept each other and ourselves."  Hope for Today (p. 1)

"I have authority over no life but my own."  One Day at a Time (p. 1)

"Me like Him; Partially so - Us like Him; More to know."   Am I a Poet? 

December 30th - Suffering makes new?

The story...

Physical limitations forced me to adapt to new realities.  Emotional, mental and spiritual processes took place.  Each time, I grieved the losses before I accepted my new condition and moved on.  Later, I enjoyed my new environments, habits, activities, and relationships that're part of a changed life.  It seems that may retain memories of the past and enjoy new learnings and blessing too.  Is it possible that physical limitations force me to change and grow in new, good, and important ways?  

The only church in town will teach you how Abraham, Gideon, and David died at ripe old ages.  I assume that being ripe means having fully experienced what life had to offer - gifted resources put to use.  Maybe we'll take our life experience, trusting God, on into eternity - seems right.

Just for today...

"The unpleasant things other people say or do have no power to destroy my peace of mind or ruin my day unless I permit it . . . I suspect I may have benefited from my pain. But those benefits are no longer worth the prices . . . There is a beautiful person within me who has no need to build an identity around suffering . . . I won't waste another moment feeling sorry for myself."  Courage to Change (p. 365)

"I don't have to do or fix everything."  Hope for Today (p. 365)

"Suffered then; Made new - Remember then; Are now."    Am I a Poet?

December 26th - Relationship Dance

The story...

I went to college during the disco-dance era.  Guys often met girls at parties where young men were faced with the opportunity to ask women to dance.  Like many other guys, I was a reluctant to display my lack of dancing skills amongst my peers - especially the girls who I admired from a distance.  John Travolta showed us how it was done on Saturday Night Fever - dancing experience could be a whole lotta fun.  

After college, I moved to Tennessee where they country-western danced.  They danced the 2-step and round danced to the Cotton-Eyed Joe.  I was new to Knoxville, so I went to two different churches on Sunday mornings followed by dance lessons at noon.  I wanted to be involved in community and meet my life partner - not knowing how to dance well was a barrier.  I met my life partner there in 1981 - praise God.  She was a practiced dancer who made dancing easy - she made me look and feel good.  We looked like I was leading.  I often didn't know the next step but I was safe with her.

Relationships are much like a ballroom dance where you can hold your partner in various ways.  For me, it was great when I learned to hold her loosely with subtle, yet clear, signals as to where we were moving next.  She silently let me know what she wanted to do and where to go.  When it worked well, we flowed across the floor as a unit - continuous movements that didn't feel anything like work.  The close intimate relationship on the dance floor seemed kind of like a relationship well done.

Unlike the dance floor, I had a difficult time maintaining close relationships throughout life.  I've learned relationship building and sustaining skills along the way and now greatly value the close relationships I have.  There are similarities between a good relationships and the relationship on the dance floor - a metaphor.  Why not learn how to dance, go to places where people dance, and get out there on the dance floor of life?

Strangely, some churches don't allow dancing amongst boys and girls at all.  They're worried about unwanted close relationship building - the threat.  I hope that the only church in town will encourage relationship building.  God with me, me with Him, me with them, them with me, me with him/her, and her/him with me.  It seems wise to hold them loosely and work out the most important relationship with God first - be okay.  Learn about Him, learn the dance, dance life with Him, dance with friends while holding them loosely, and enjoy the community at the dance party too.   A dance party isn't a solemn place - you'll find happiness and joy there.  Is dancing a good metaphor for the only church in town? 

Just for today...

"I was a willing participant in a dance that required two partners. I felt like a victim, but in many ways I was a volunteer . . . When I get the old feelings that tells me I am a victim, I can regard it as a red flag, a warning that I may be participating in something that is not in my best interest. I can resist the temptation to blame others and look to my own involvement instead."  Courage to Change (p. 361)

"... it dawned on me how much of my life had been spent wanting for others to change so I could be happy."  Hope for Today (p. 361)

"I'm me; She's she - In dance; We're we."
"Subtle cue; Flow apart - Hold near; Ne'er depart."    Am I a Poet?