January 28th - How can you give $20 if it ain't in your pocket?

The story...

Once upon a time, I made an effort to be a more generous person.   When I saw people in need, I would have resources to help them.  It seemed reasonable to be prepared with USA currency in my wallet.  So, I began the habit of carrying four or five twenties for gifting.  My habit lasted for about a year - I didn't give away many $20 bills.  

Carrying the money didn't open my eyes, heart, and habits enough to recognize, decide and go through the process of doling out cash.   I did want to alleviate needs in a loving way; but, my efforts were clunky.  Maybe it was because my eyes primarily were focused on me - self?

Although that experiment didn't last, it did teach me more about myself and how I might better work out my life.  I believe that my heart is often good and that people, in general, know that I care about them.  Yet, I want to be more true to who I actually am.  

This reminded me of this blog's purpose:

Those who know me well might describe me as a life-long learner who values honesty and integrity. A story teller who loves working out his life with and through other people. As I progress through life, I continue to appreciate both my strengths and flaws. I know that I need to work out my life alongside other pilgrims in order to be a good actor in this epic story of life. Yet, the idea of being an actor is detestable. I wake up each day purposing to be the man I truly am. Oh... to work out every minute within God's will - bearing fruit.

The only church in town will help you work out you natural talents and gifts within community.  There, you will hear about the Spirit of Christ Who indwells His "believers."  He produces fruit within those who are His.  You can't work, or try, to muster up that kind of fruit through your own efforts.  Yet, you can truly bear His fruit of: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control in a way that will be unique to the person you were created to be.  That's the good stuff in life that I expect we'll all hunger for after our first taste.

Just for today...

"I cannot give to anyone else something I don't have. I learn to love myself enough to seek my own healing.  When I can love myself as I am, I'm better able to accept the human limitations of all God's other children."  Hope for Today (p. 28)

"Wanna help; I don't see - God's got this; Maybe thru me."    Am I a Poet?

January 25th - "Try" to be better or "be" better?

The story...

Trying to: elongate my spine, strengthen my "core," stretch all those muscles, perform new exercises, and adapt to my lumbar-caused pain seems never ending.  Once, I felt like I'd lost my way and needed encouragement from my physical therapist.  She was serious when she told me that she didn't want to hear "I can't" anymore - she wanted to hear "I can."  She directed me to keep a log of what I did, how long I did it, and how much "new" muscle pain or "old" nerve pain I felt.  This cause-and-effect analysis was meant to record how long I was doing my suspected cause of pain and what I did to alleviate it - a clearer look at the reality of my condition and coping methods too.

It's true that my body's getting older and will likely require periodical adaptations in order to move and live as I wish to, or need to, without assistance.  Yet, I don't want my "body" focus to be my primary focus.  I don't plan on giving up; but, I'd rather not try so hard.  I hope to develop a physical fitness routine that'll sustain me throughout the next 20 years.

Over the last 25 years of my personal and work life, "try" has been and evil word in regards to personal commitments.  I prefer to focus on what you or I commit to actually do.  It seems that the same idea applies here.

The only church in town will focus more on who we are and what we do than our physical condition.  Yes, they will focus on the condition of our souls.  Strangely God doesn't ask us to "try" to be a better person either.  He asks that we receive His provision for our past misdeeds and trust Him to change our inner-person to be more like the ideal that was displayed in the life of His Son.  They call it the process of sanctification that He works out in us as we abide in Him - He does the heavy lifting. 

He's a really good Father.  I'm so... thankful that He did a great work for and within me.  The only church in town will focus on our being who we are in Christ with little emphasis on trying to be something we ain't.

Just for today...

"I found that I was overly interested in others because I had such a low opinion of myself."  Courage to Change (p. 25)

"Bad habits and compulsions cannot be conquered by determined resolutions or promising ourselves that we won't go on doing this or that . . . I  stopped trying to force myself to eliminate my faults when I found it didn't work."  One Day at a Time (p. 25)

"I was raised to be industrious and goal oriented. Today I am discovering what play means."  Hope for Today (p. 25)

"Told to do; Said I'd try - Ended failure; Wondered why."
"Trusting Him; Father's hand - Peace in chaos; Promised land."   Am I a Poet?

January 22nd - Favorite old pants...

The story...

Meet my favorite pants.  They're old, frayed, stained, fit right, sturdy, unlabeled, and drab.  I can do most anything wearing these pants; though, they aren't welcome where people expect me to "dress for the occasion."  I've purchased replacements; but, they didn't seem the same.  I like that old and familiar heavyweight-duck-canvas cotton and the stains and frays too.

Will there come a day when I must get rid of the pants?  We all know the answer although I sometimes pretend otherwise.

I wonder where my old pants will go today?  Will I put them in the Aquatic Center locker to wait while I swim?  Will they participate in replacing the faucet and trying again to fix the Impala's power seats? Will I put a nicer shirt on and wear them to my men's group tonight?  Will I hang them up next to my dress pants - NO!  They don't have to look nice - I like 'em just the way they are.

You may feel a need to dress up, to be a better version of yourself, when you attend the only church in town.  Yet, God is graceful and desires a relationship with you as you that is - humble, honest, okay and unpretentious.  Remember, He is the one Who created you as you are.  He makes no mistakes and has offered the way to atone for your sin defects through our Lord Jesus the Christ's sacrifice.

No, I likely won't wear these pants to a Sunday Morning Service.  And, I do enjoy cleaning up and wearing pants with fewer defects when worshipping, praising, learning, and fellowshipping together.  Yes, it sure is great to know that I'm loved by Him - just as I am.

Just for today...

"What we pray for may not be what is best for us. We are only able to see a little way, and our vision is clouded by our present situation and daily happenings and distractions."  One Day at a Time (p. 22)

"I focused on the character defects of those around me. My need to be perfect fed into my preoccupation with others . . . I am still learning to treat myself with gentleness, kindness, and love. I'm still learning that I cannot change those around me, but I can change how I treat them - with dignity and respect."  Hope for Today (p. 22)

"When I found him on the floor, I still didn't help him into bed. But I did put a blanket over him before stepping over his body and going to bed myself. This, to me, was detachment with love."  Courage to Change (p. 22)

"As I am; He saved me - Redeemed position; His to be."   Am I a Poet?

January 19th - Virtual bars of guilt and shame

The story...

When I was little guy hanging onto my mother's dress in the grocery store, I was tempted to take a piece of penny candy from one of those huge bins.  One day I made the decision, let go of my momma's dress, looked around, picked up the candy, stuffed it in my pocket, and sweated through the long checkout line.  That is the first deliberate sin that I remember.  I felt guilt and shame - it certainly didn't end there.

Where's the record of the good and bad that I'm responsible for?  God is all knowing; the government keeps a record; the old performance reviews are archived or trashed; some people have a fuzzy sense of opinion along with memories of a few critical incidents; yet, most of it remains within my own psyche.  Some memories might trigger needed forgiveness and restoration; yet, most of them are self imposed guilt and shame that's rotting somewhere within the back of my mind.  Might the joke be on us for holding on, suppressing, reinterpreting, or periodically magnifying the not-so-good parts of us?

The only church in town will preach and teach that sin is a impenetrable barrier between us and God.  In fact, His Word says that we can't have a right relationship with Him due to our sin.  Worse yet, there's nothing we can do about it - we were born that way.  We must be reborn spiritually - old man dead and our new man positioned "in Christ."  This "Good News" is good because God provided the way to be restored both for this life and for all eternity too - true freedom from the penalty of sin.  He did the heavy lifting - we need to believe Him, trust Him, and live that truly good life in Christ.

Just for today...

"I used to live in my own little prison, locked in by my feelings of hatred and shame. Now I'm free."  Hope for Today (p. 19)

"Today I seek to become a little more accepting of myself, a little more comfortable in my own skin . . . I will remember to be gentle with myself today, trusting that the healing will come." Courage to Change (p. 19)

"Now there was a man of the Pharisees, named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews; this man came to Jesus at night and said to Him, “Rabbi, we know that You have come from God as a teacher; for no one can do these signs that You do unless God is with him.” Jesus responded and said to him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless someone is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.”  John 3:1-3 (NASB)

"I took; I hurt - I tried; I failed."
"Hidden loneliness; Shunned light - Believed God; Grew up."   Am I a Poet?

January 18th - A peaceful life

The story...

One day I had few responsibilities, obligations, pains, or unmet obligations.  The weather was beautiful, the house was warm and I was well fed - I felt loved too.  I guess you could characterize my day as peaceful; yet, I knew that most of the days ahead wouldn't be like that.  Even within those good conditions, I knew that there would be a storm on the horizon.

What are the ingredients of peacefulness?  Maybe I'd be peaceful if: all those within my circle of concern are without need; my favorite sports teams are all successful; the weather is "good;" my investments are valued close to their all-time highs, my health is within the top 10% for my age group; the other government parties don't have too much power; there's nothing I need to fix; my work is admired; people let me know that they love me; and my pastor is what he preaches - an example of imputed righteousness worked out in word and deed.  That ain't all going to happen.  Must we disengage and isolate from the world to sense ongoing peacefulness?

The only church in town will share what God revealed to and through the Apostle Paul as he wrote about the actualities of his gifted life from prison.  He enjoyed a gift of peace from the Spirit of God - a sort of peace that permeates your being from a source that's God himself.  The Spirit of God works through those who are righteous in God's sight - a righteousness that only God Himself can provide through faith in the redeeming work of Christ.

Praise God, be thankful, walk humbly, love your neighbor as yourself, and live peacefully my friend.  Peace can be found walking humbly with God, your Father "Abba," in Christ.

Just for today...

"I had never experienced a peaceful way of life. With myself, I was constantly fighting against the guilt, fear, and anger that ruled my life. With others, I was always fighting for some cause or belief, trying to make them see that my position was the right one. Of course I never won, and the wars never ceased."  Hope for Today (p. 18)

"Paul from prison; Paul from beach - Sanctified suffering; Imagined pleasure."
"God use me; Like Paul - Wring me dry; Fill anew."   Am I a Poet?

January 17th - Working out life from a new tool box...

 The story...

Long ago, over dinner in Bethel Maine, a woman from Xerox gave me advice - it stuck.  I've shared this advice with 100's of people and I don't even remember her name.  Everybody seemed to understand the advice and its application too.  I'd recently been promoted from engineer to engineering manager.  She explained the difference between the two tool boxes that I had at my disposal.  The old set of tools had served me well; but, I needed a new set to better "lead" and "manage" the group.  Surely, it was wise to oil, and occasionally apply, the tools in the old box; yet, the new set must be developed and applied to leverage the group towards...

I tried leading this group long ago - thank you "Murray House" 

Strangely, I sense a need to cleanup and change the tool box that I've been using for the last ten years.  Here are seven tools that I think I need to add or dust off, oil, and use more frequently:  

• "Bigger" Ears:  Listen to others without opinion or thoughts of fixing, managing, or controlling.
• Get Out the Door:  Move from thinking about to doing more readily - take that first step.
• Thankfulness:  Within my prayers, activities, & relationships - on both "Light" & "Dark" days.
• Exercise & Stretch:  Enable my body to go where He and I will to go...
• Invest:  Build up others & thoughtfully transfer what I have to 'em too.
• Keep the End in Mind:  Be eternally focused and earthly good too.
• Honest in Self Assessment:  Remain humble - glorify God.

The only church needs you to work out your life with 'em.  You need 'em too even though it may currently be a latent need.  Bring your toolbox and be ready to work out your life with 'em.  Once there, you may find the need to add a tool, reuse an old tool, or replace your tool box with a new one that...

Just for today...

"I will make myself learn to use a new set of tools: tolerance, kindness, patience, courtesy, love and humor - and a firm determination to do what is necessary to improve my life."  One Day at a Time (p. 17)

"I often restrain myself for fear that others will misunderstand and criticize me."  Hope for Today (p. 17)

"Toolbox lugged; Fix again - All I got; Tired tools."
"Gifted anew; Risk to add - Thoughtfully build; New man."   Am I a Poet?

January 9th - Letting others, within our circle(s) of concern, be...

The story...

If I could go back in time, how would I intervene, with the younger version of me, in order to avoid some of the trouble and brokenness that came my way?  I'm not sure if I'd want advice from a meddlesome-future version of me.  I might've told him to mind his own business and leave me alone to work out my own life.  If I'm not sure that I would want to "try" to change me, then why have I tried to fix, manage, and control other people?

If I could turn back time

Do I need all the people within my circle of concern to feel, and be, okay in order for me to be okay?  If so, I'll never be okay.  Am I responsible for the aims and choices of those people within my circle of concern?  Certainly not!  Is my need to share my life experiences a misplaced onus for desiring to control their lives so that I can feel better about me and my life?  Maybe...  

It would be great if the only church in town was your "ideal" church - it won't be.   Just go already and begin walking according to God's revealed truth along with other pilgrims - a better future, beyond your imagination, awaits.

Just for today...

"Once I was able to see my suffering as my own reaction to others, I could begin to identify my contribution to the problem. Sometimes my part is bringing up something that was better left unsaid, or starting a serious conversation at an inappropriate time. Other times my part is harboring unrealistic expectations. When I see my part in the pattern, I can choose a response other than suffering. There is no need for me to suffer because of the behavior of others."  Hope for Today (p. 9) 

"It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery."  Galatians 5:1 (NASB)

"But when the applause of others becomes the reason for my behavior and necessary for me to feel satisfied, then I have given them power over me."  Courage to Change (p. 9)

"Prayer waned; Worry stepped in - Fix everybody; Manipulative sin."
"Better me; What they need - Loved & loving; Starter seed."    Am I a Poet?

January 4th - My thinking propels me towards...

The story...

In 1983, I wanted a 1976, Volvo 240.  I researched, stared at the photos, imagined what it would be like to own one, and was convinced that it was the best possible car I could afford.  I sought it out and found it for sale from an ex-U of M football player.  I even ignored the guys wife asking: "do you like to work on cars?" The only part of the car that was good was my admiring how good my wife looked driving it home - that first day.

Where does my thinker want to send me?  My self-absorbed nature wants to take me towards comfort, praise, security, affirming group-think, competition, awards, legacy, pleasure, and admiration as I gaze into the mirror.  My spirit desires a loving and right relationship with my Creator, the giving and receiving of love from others, honest and open relationships with close friends, continuing growth within community, and the fruit of the indwelling Spirit of God born without my trying to produce them.  The different types of Spirit fruit may be found in Galatians 5:22-24.

A wise man knows where to go and how to get there.  First, he's gotta know where he is and what state's most desirable.  He's got to know what condition his condition is in.  He knows that he doesn't know what he doesn't know so he seeks the truth.  How will I know if and when my thinking patterns are aiming and propelling me towards a destination where I don't wanna go?

The only church in town will introduce people to the Word of God and how they might develop a saving, active, and eternal loving relationship with their Creator, their Sustainer, in Christ.  God's Spirit will produce fruit within the lives of those who are His - the evidence of the "good life" that you may be unaware of, seeking or enjoying.  Why not come to God's table, enjoy the good stuff, and share it with others?  I hope that you don't try to satisfy yourself by merely hoping for it, reading about it, trying to do it on your own, or admiring it worked out within other people's lives.

Just for today...

"My own way of thinking deceives me. I can see but a little way."  One Day at a Time (p. 4)

"When I admit that my life is unmanageable, I don't admit that I am a bad person. In my attempts to maintain the delusion of exercising power where I am powerless, my life has become disorderly."  Hope for Today (p. 4)

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,"  Galatians 5:22-24 (NASB)

"Imagine so; Got no fear - Other says other; Plug thy ear."   Am I a Poet?

January 3rd - Cycles of continual improvement - growth

The story...

The nation of Israel's history reads like continuing cycles of restoration to a more right relationship with God.  They drifted away from what they were told and experienced great pain in separation; though, reconciliation was good.  I've heard it said that they might be a good picture of a strengthening, growing, and lasting marriage too.  People's self-focused natures tends to pull them apart; but, the marriage commitment helps restore the relationship - over and over again.  Each restorative cycle often grows both marriage partners and their relationships with God too.

I'm so thankful for my marriage partner and the personal growth that we've experienced together and individually too.  Similarly, this kind of growth can happen within the only church in town -continual cycles of pain, love experienced, and restoration.  Yes, suffering, pain and brokenness often seem to be precursors for real and sustainable change cycles over time - growth.  

Just for today...

"I can do nothing to change the past except stop repeating it in the present . . . Taking some tiny action each day can be much more effective than weeks and months of inactivity followed by a frenzied attempt to make radical changes overnight."  Courage to Change (p. 3)

"Each minute, each hour, each day, I smile a little more, let go of yesterday a little more, and live in today a little more."  Hope for Today (p. 3)

"Self-made mess; Change da way - Loved and loving; Live each day."   Am I a Poet?

January 2nd - God's intervention clarifying expectations

The story...

In 1980, I expected to: begin a career as a sales engineer selling industrial robots; marry within a couple years; invest my growing capital in corporations for continual wealth growth; buy a house; drive a convertible; experience adventurous vacations; have four kids; and continue to live out a rebellious sort of ideals - to be free.  In 1981, reality went differently than I expected.  It was as though God pulled, maybe yanked, me in His direction.  When were those key points when God seemed to directly intervene?

Here's my take on the key related factual events, listed chronologically by my age:

8.  Walked to front of neighborhood-children-evangelistic meeting and accepted Jesus the Christ as my Savior.

15. Lost and alone in the dark canoeing in the Boundary Waters, MN.  I promised to dedicate my life to God if He saved me from my predicament - I saw the light of the campfire less than one minute after making my commitment to Him.

16. Worked every other Sunday and drifted away from attending church services.

18. Fully engaged in a self-absorbed college life and stopped attending church.

22. After a period of brokenness, I read the four gospels and was surprised to learn God's story in Christ - new good news to me. Miraculous auto accident avoidance and three incredibly unlikely personal interactions with those who I now believe to have been directed by the Spirit of God.  Steve and Marlene invite me to church - I said yes.

23. Moved to Knoxville, TN and people directly intervene in my life.  They seem to've been led by the Spirit of God.  They lead me to study the Word of God - believe and "be" differently.

26. Dejected by seemingly unbearable "religious'" expectations for "trying" to live a "Christian" life.  Bill Job explains the grace of God - God works out all that's good and that I was identified with Christ and right with God solely by what Christ did for me.

28. We attend a dispensational church that more rationally interpreted God's provisions for we gentiles -  Pauline theology.  We were fully engaged in bible study and the church.

40. Kid(s) resent being told how to be good by following religious practices and principles.  They expose the difference between what we said and did - they also wanted to be free of religion.  A hyper-grace like message seemed to allow the freedom for us to walk a more "sinful" path while under the protective umbrella of the grace of God.  My prayer life might've revealed the problem.

60. Brokenness again leads me to more honestly assess my life and faith walk.  I develop more honest and close relationships while working out my faith in the Light.  I disengaged from those trying to "run" the church and gave up "trying" to be good.  I stopped attempting to fix, manage, and control other people according to what I thought was best.  Trusted by placing my hopes for me and others in the "hands of God."  My life actually began to "bear" fruit that both I, maybe others too, enjoyed.  

The only church in town will lead you to God through His Word.  They'll direct you to God's revelation of how we can have a right relationship with our Holy Creator.  They'll believe the Gospel truth of what God's already done for us in Christ.  Our work is to believe (John 6:29).

Just for today...

"... it is our expectations, not our loved ones, that have let us down . . . learn to treat our needs as important and appropriate, and to treat ourselves as deserving . . . if we stop insisting that our needs be met according to our will, we might discover that all the love and support we need is already at our fingertips."   Courage to Change (p. 2)

"I will not fall in with . . . craving for punishment to relieve his or her guilt. I will not scold and weep, for it will not overcome the difficulties that we are trapped in . . . I pray that I may stop and think before I do or say anything whatever."  One Day at a Time (p. 2)

"'Look back without staring.' As long as I kept staring at my past without experiencing my feelings about it, I stayed mired in fear, resentment, and self-pity . . . Only after I stopped long enough to feel my anguish, bitterness, and emptiness could I let them go and move ahead."   Hope for Today (p. 2)

"Five senses; Limited view - Spiritual truth; Reveal anew."   Am I a Poet?

January 1st - Journey to Better Times

The story...

I've made a new years resolution that signaled hope for more and better fruit to be born from my life and from those within my circle of concern too.  The resolution was doable and built on truth.  I found it to be true in my earlier years and knew it was likely to build better personal character traits.   It was a good place on the morn of this first day of ...

You gotta leave this to go for that.  "This" is normal even if it ain't comfortable.  "That" is like "two birds in a bush" - we may want to hang onto "this" in our hand.  For me, it's been easier to change after I've had the opportunity to verbally appraise the current situation with a friend.  Maybe this kind of life assessment happens for many on the last day of December prompting new-years resolutions on January 1st.  A quick internet search estimates that <10% of Americans follow thorough on their new-years resolutions.  Given my resolution choice, I expect an 80% probability of success.  Why not?

For me, my resolution will help me grow my personal character, relationships and faith.  And, the "doing" of my resolution should result in my holding "things" and the "cares of this world" more loosely.  How about your change resolution?

The only church in town will "generally" be a God's Word knowing, faithful, honest, helping, and loving group of people.  Our idealistic picture of what that one church might be will be wrong.  Why?  We'll find the wide range of personalities, capabilities, knowledge, coping mechanisms, life stories, shame, guilt, pride, and fruit-bearing capabilities there.  The relationships that you might find there are part of the good stuff in life where real personal and spiritual growth might be cultivated.  I hope that you make a resolution to become more involved within your church community.  Maybe you'll expect less and live being thankful for what you receive.  Please accept my happy new-years wishes.

Just for today...

"We all have dark times in our lives, but the journey to better times is often what makes us happier, stronger people. When we stop expecting instant relief, we may come to believe that where we are today is exactly where God would have us be."  Courage to Change (p. 1)

"They see themselves in me, I see myself in them, and we learn to love and accept each other and ourselves."  Hope for Today (p. 1)

"I have authority over no life but my own."  One Day at a Time (p. 1)

"Me like Him; Partially so - Us like Him; More to know."   Am I a Poet? 

December 30th - Suffering makes new?

The story...

Physical limitations forced me to adapt to new realities.  Emotional, mental and spiritual processes took place.  Each time, I grieved the losses before I accepted my new condition and moved on.  Later, I enjoyed my new environments, habits, activities, and relationships that're part of a changed life.  It seems that may retain memories of the past and enjoy new learnings and blessing too.  Is it possible that physical limitations force me to change and grow in new, good, and important ways?  

The only church in town will teach you how Abraham, Gideon, and David died at ripe old ages.  I assume that being ripe means having fully experienced what life had to offer - gifted resources put to use.  Maybe we'll take our life experience, trusting God, on into eternity - seems right.

Just for today...

"The unpleasant things other people say or do have no power to destroy my peace of mind or ruin my day unless I permit it . . . I suspect I may have benefited from my pain. But those benefits are no longer worth the prices . . . There is a beautiful person within me who has no need to build an identity around suffering . . . I won't waste another moment feeling sorry for myself."  Courage to Change (p. 365)

"I don't have to do or fix everything."  Hope for Today (p. 365)

"Suffered then; Made new - Remember then; Are now."    Am I a Poet?

December 26th - Relationship Dance

The story...

I went to college during the disco-dance era.  Guys often met girls at parties where young men were faced with the opportunity to ask women to dance.  Like many other guys, I was a reluctant to display my lack of dancing skills amongst my peers - especially the girls who I admired from a distance.  John Travolta showed us how it was done on Saturday Night Fever - dancing experience could be a whole lotta fun.  

After college, I moved to Tennessee where they country-western danced.  They danced the 2-step and round danced to the Cotton-Eyed Joe.  I was new to Knoxville, so I went to two different churches on Sunday mornings followed by dance lessons at noon.  I wanted to be involved in community and meet my life partner - not knowing how to dance well was a barrier.  I met my life partner there in 1981 - praise God.  She was a practiced dancer who made dancing easy - she made me look and feel good.  We looked like I was leading.  I often didn't know the next step but I was safe with her.

Relationships are much like a ballroom dance where you can hold your partner in various ways.  For me, it was great when I learned to hold her loosely with subtle, yet clear, signals as to where we were moving next.  She silently let me know what she wanted to do and where to go.  When it worked well, we flowed across the floor as a unit - continuous movements that didn't feel anything like work.  The close intimate relationship on the dance floor seemed kind of like a relationship well done.

Unlike the dance floor, I had a difficult time maintaining close relationships throughout life.  I've learned relationship building and sustaining skills along the way and now greatly value the close relationships I have.  There are similarities between a good relationships and the relationship on the dance floor - a metaphor.  Why not learn how to dance, go to places where people dance, and get out there on the dance floor of life?

Strangely, some churches don't allow dancing amongst boys and girls at all.  They're worried about unwanted close relationship building - the threat.  I hope that the only church in town will encourage relationship building.  God with me, me with Him, me with them, them with me, me with him/her, and her/him with me.  It seems wise to hold them loosely and work out the most important relationship with God first - be okay.  Learn about Him, learn the dance, dance life with Him, dance with friends while holding them loosely, and enjoy the community at the dance party too.   A dance party isn't a solemn place - you'll find happiness and joy there.  Is dancing a good metaphor for the only church in town? 

Just for today...

"I was a willing participant in a dance that required two partners. I felt like a victim, but in many ways I was a volunteer . . . When I get the old feelings that tells me I am a victim, I can regard it as a red flag, a warning that I may be participating in something that is not in my best interest. I can resist the temptation to blame others and look to my own involvement instead."  Courage to Change (p. 361)

"... it dawned on me how much of my life had been spent wanting for others to change so I could be happy."  Hope for Today (p. 361)

"I'm me; She's she - In dance; We're we."
"Subtle cue; Flow apart - Hold near; Ne'er depart."    Am I a Poet?

December 25th - Quietly replacing what-ifs with even-ifs

 The story...

I'm lifting weights in my basement while listening to an inspiring message from one of my mentors on YouTube.  I complete my stretching and turn off the TV.  I kneel down, on my weight bench, in prayer and meditation.  Then, I'm quiet and peaceful for a time, maybe the best part of life, then it's quickly over.  Why?

Being quite is a great place to be - peacefulness.  Why's it illusive?  I'll to be quiet and peaceful with my heart open to the Spirit of God.  Yet, my mind, often filled with the cares of the world, seems crouched on the sideline, ready to pounce back in and continue running the show.  These are the thoughts of: having to; wanting to; planning to; worrying about; interested in; and even whimsically entertainment - an endless stream of possibilities just waiting to be juggled around and explored.  Might my "what-ifs" be replaced with "even-ifs?"  If our focus shifted from trying to control and worry to trusting God "even if;" then, might we live more peacefully and make better decisions too?

The only church in town will introduce the Word of God and the opportunity to experience fellowship with our Creator too - wow.  Faith in God means trusting Him to keep His Word - He's faithful.  Yes, His Word lived out in us is the very best condition for both the few years I've left and for all eternity too.  Yes, it's reasonable and right to replace our "what-ifs" with "even-ifs" when we're right with God in Christ.  That's an infinitely better place to be than merely trying our best, on our own, to control the uncontrollable.  

Merry Christmas - we have a wonderful Savior in Christ!  Praise God!  We're far more than okay in Christ.

Just for today...

"Serenity is: . . .  accepting my many characteristics and not judging what's 'bad' or 'good' but what's useful to keep and what to release . . . honoring my feelings without aiming them at someone else or letting them run my life."  Hope for Today (p. 360)

"What message does my silence communicate? Today I will try to align the stillness of my tongue with a stillness of spirit."  Courage to Change (p. 360)

"What if; We'd suffer - Be His; Even if."
"Courageous power; Humbly born - Abiding Christ; Forever more."   Am I a Poet?

December 23rd - Purpose to act or react?

The story...

Habits, routines, honest personal reflection, relationship building, kindness, prayer, quiet meditation, showing respect, and a propensity for doing versus waiting have all worked well for me. This incomplete list helped me grow up.  We'd probably agree that we've erected mental models to make sense of our lives and environments.  We may not agree on just how much our models are incomplete, flawed, biased, or bent to justify what we do or believe.  Upon reflection, we'd likely agree that our efforts are flawed attempts to reflect what we want to be true.  Being more honest, maybe we'd walk toward our life's aim more humbly, thoughtfully, and peacefully than most?

How do I react to those whose ways, manners, physical characteristics, age, actions, beliefs, experiences, education, or aims are significantly different from mine?  In the future, I hope to seek to understand them more before I attempt to "help" them understand me - Steven Covey's discovered principle.  This one focus seems to enable a whole lotta other good-life stuff.

The only church in town will be a great place to meet up with co-sojourners for your life journey.  You can find friends with a common aim, who're on a similar path, that you can relate to, and are in a similar stage along the path.  It's important to work out your reality with others - there're many opportunities to love, and be loved by, most of the everybody.  Relationships and love seem to be the good stuff in life.  Good stuff is available within the only church in town - God's presence within the Body of Christ  - yes, it's q mysterious and awesome truth.

Just for today...

"I would not want this person as a friend, but I do need to work with him as a professional. I don't like him... However, . . . I treat him with the same courtesy and respect I would like him to give me, regardless of whether or not he gives it.  I let it begin with me and act rather than react."  Hope for Today (p. 358)

"Pretend thus; Want this - Selfishly smug; Treacherous kiss."
"Blow love; Ember glows - Guard lowered; Love shows."    Am I a Poet?

December 22nd - Engaged in the Now

The story...

I wonder how much of our "thinking life" is actually spent in the past (maybe 20%), engaging in the present reality (maybe 50%), or about future possibilities (maybe 30%)?  Given enough time, I expect that we'd agree that it's best to live in the present where life actually occurs.  If we do so, I expect our memories would be richer, and our future better lived.

A group of friends, and a book, introduced me to the benefits of living more fully in the present where life actually occurs.  They introduced me to the acronym S.T.E.A.M.: Senses, Thoughts, Emotions, Actions, and Mindfulness.  I practiced mindfulness by going through each of the letters when I found myself excessively reliving the past or worrying about future possibilities - I often did this on hiking trails.  First, I checked my five senses.  Second, I examined my current thoughts.  Third, I identified my emotions.  Fourth, I was honest with what I was doing.  Lastly, I enjoyed the peacefulness of rightly living in the present - being mindful.

Yes, I painted this...

The only church in town will introduce you to the spiritual realities that may have previously escaped your detection.  Yes, God communicates and works out life, with His creation, in the present.  So... I added an "S" to the acronym, S.T.E.A.M.S., to stand for my spirit and God's Spirit relating within the veiled spiritual reality.  The spirit/Spirit connection can be experienced.  Why not more fully live by praying now, one-on-one with God, and together within the only church in town?

Just for today...

The Contemplative Life:  "...prayer is available any time, any place. It is undetectable to outside eyes, but it bears a seed of transformation that can bring the most unmanageable situation into perspective."  Courage to Change (p. 357)

"I wondered how I could pray without feeling false . . . my rigidity was a wall that hid my fear . . . Now I am gentler with myself and others.  Acceptance of my self-doubts enabled me to start turning away from the "musts" and "shoulds."  Hope for Today (p. 357)

"Living today; Planning tomorrow - Thinking eternity; Joy from sorrow."   Am I a Poet?

December 20th - Love meets each other's needs...

The story...

I imagined a world that was envisioned for me to sell toothpaste, Chevrolets, and scrubbing agents by "Ad Men" in Manhattan.  There was no escaping the overwhelming number of ad messages - they worked.  Life's better when you're drinking a Coca-Cola.

It was a world of love and acceptance - freedom to be me with other like-minded people.  Nobody would tell me what to do.  I'd live out the good stuff and toss the mundane, boring, and self-deprecating parts into the trash.  People would be as you imagined them to be.  I'd find a life partner, who agreed with me, and we'd live out an unburdened good life. 

Good Morning Sunshine - I thought this might be my reality?  Really???

My personality and intellect tended, and tends, to move me towards the rebellious end of the the spectrum.  What was my North Star that kept me going?  Maybe it was my fundamental desire to be accepted, respected, and loved.  Initially, I believed that the marriage relationship would fulfill those needs.  Marriage can do the wonderful - it can teach us how to give and receive love.  Yet, another person can't fill all the missing parts of a good and honest life.

The only church in town will communicate and work out relationships with God, and each other, through His provision in Christ.  I want to be found with Him now and for evermore - work life out alongside friends too.

Just for today...

"What role do my expectations as a child play in my difficulties as an adult?"  Hope for Today (p. 355)

"The more light we generate for others, the better we can see ourselves."  One Day at a Time (p. 355)

"Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous; love does not brag, it is not arrogant. It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit; it is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered, it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; it keeps every confidence, it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."  I Corinthians 13:4-6 (NASB)

"Self hurt; God restore - Love heal; Open door."   Am I a Poet?

December 19th - A thankful life

The story...

In 2000, the long-hard path of education and research toward an engineering PhD chose me.  Thankfully, I found ways to integrate the work and travel within an already busy schedule and family life.  The studies were related to my job; so, the course work and applications came relatively easy.  The travel, missed activities, job changes, and dissertation didn't come easy.  Never having been known as a quitter, I persevered to be awarded the degree of PhD in Industrial Engineering in 2010.  The journey took faith, passion, and discipline.  My eyes remained on the prize as I took each step.  I don't remember many people offering encouragement along the way - there were a lot of doubters and naysayers who advised caution and retreat.

Thankfully, I received a first-year teaching job at the University of Minnesota - Duluth (UMD).  It was a wonderful experience for which I'm extremely grateful.  The graduate-teaching job seemed to be a good person-job fit.  After my first year at UMD, I was offered a job as "Professor" at my alma mater - Iowa State University (ISU).  The job offer felt good yet it was too far from home.  After 10pm one April night, I talked to my son about his job search; described my own career dilemma; and relayed how I was trusting in God's provisions and not my own.  After our conversation, I left my apartment and walked to my campus office - I found the one job that might work at Eastern Michigan University (EMU).  I applied that night, interviewed the next week, and accepted the job the following week.  The professor and teaching career worked out - the journey required much faith.  I'm so... thankful for every step along the way.

What word would you choose to describe you?  I've settled in on the word "thankful."  I'm thankful for each: breath; day's weather; hot cup of coffee; expression of love; faithful friend; act of kindness; suffering; person I meet; memory of how life worked out; faith realized; and the wonderful surprises of life.  

The only church in town can help each of us to be more thankful.  How?  First, we'll learn what our Creator revealed about who we are, where we came from, how to best live, and where we'll spend eternity - "real" good stuff.  Second, we'll learn how to be rid of the shame and guilt that can be relived and weigh heavy upon our backs.  Third, we can learn to live more honestly within relationships characterized by love.  Fourth, we'll witness other lives worked out within the reality of their faith in God's revelations.

Just for today...

"Is any of the attention I once gave to negative thinking now focused on gratitude?"  Courage to Change (p. 354)

"I was told what to believe and how to believe. If I deviated even slightly from the chosen path, I was reproached and corrected . . .  They wanted to show the world a perfect family. Needless to say, I didn't develop any individuality . . . I had no idea what were my likes, dislikes, needs or desires."  Hope for Today (p. 354)

"Told me so; Who I was - Clunky fit; Dimmed lights."
"Acting parts; Lost unloved - Pretending stank, Broke out."
"Free to be; Who I am - Lovin freely; In Christ."    Am I a Poet?

December 18th - W.A.I.T.: Why Am I Still Talking?

The story...

When I was young, I was more awkward and felt a tad outside the groups that I longed to be accepted by.  I learned to find acceptance by being interesting, funny, and engaging in group situations - the "story teller."  The persona I worked out seemed to help me be accepted - to feel okayer.  My "style" of being might've been less problematic if I'd learned to listen to and respect others too - wanting the same for others as I wanted for myself. 

George Costanza leaves on a high note.

I was often talking when I should've been listening, understanding, and growing.  Where did I miss the lesson that it's better to first understand than to be understood (Steven Covey)?  Did I talk to much in an effort to be respected and accepted?  The acronym W.A.I.T. would've been helpful for me in conversation: Why Am I Talking?

When the word of God is read in the only church in town, might we listen rather than seek to find ways to invalidate "The Message" or to bend it to fit our imagined reality?  The message will likely conflict with our self concepts of how the world works best for us.  Many of us construct, an operate within, an elaborate "house of cards," virtually erected, through our imagination and mental gyrations - reality is a better place to actually live.

Just for today...

"I will not yield to my compulsion to go on talking after I have made my point - and what I say will have a direct relevance to the subject of the meeting."  One Day at a Time (p. 353)

"Walls are disappearing, and love and community are growing and expanding."  Hope for Today (p. 353)

"What's next; Too silent - Had ta say; Tension eased."
"Me focused; What's the cost? - Felt better; Learnings lost."   Am I a Poet?

December 17th - Being honest - our truer selves

The story...

I was one of the youngest kids in my first-grade class and I grew, in stature, a little slower than most kids.  I hoped to be tall, like both of my parent's younger brothers; yet, it seemed like tall wasn't going to happen for me.  Unexpectedly, I grew to over six-foot during high school and throughout my freshman year of college too.  My physical height seemed to effect my identity.  Shorter people let me know that I was lucky to be respected "merely" for my exceptional height.

Everybody loves Raymond - Robby

My physical height shrunk along with my flattening spinal discs.  I might grow in height if my surgeon fuses more discs together by fusing my spine with metal rods like they did L4/L5 on December 3rd, 2009.  If they do, I'll be a bit taller; yet, I'm not so naive to think that my identity will change.  I've better learned who I am and I'm okayer with me and my defects too.

Our true selves are likely the ones that we'll work out throughout all eternity as opposed to the changing self who adapts to current needs, capabilities, situations, environments, rule sets, groups, and the opinions of others.  I'm so thankful that the Word of God reveals that I'm "far" better off aligned and positioned with "That Than Which There Is No Greater." 

The only church in town will share news of our true identity for this life and for all eternity too.  Yes, our true identity can be found in the Son of God, our Lord and Savior, Jesus the Christ. They'll read the scriptures and trust in the unseen realities that can be worked out in both this life and the eternal one to come - the "real" good life.

Just for today...

"I can risk being my true self with family members and allow family members to risk being themselves with me."  Hope for Today (p. 352)

"Resentments mark the place where I see myself as a victim . . . I will love myself enough to release myself from the closet in which resentments keep me locked."  Courage to Change (p. 352)

"Ain't the same; Me and you - Each adds; Livin true."   Am I a Poet?