November 22nd - Rightly related to God?

The story...

I prefer a day: waking up at a consistent time thankfully with prayer; planning for & doing good; being honest within reality; loving me & others; exercising my body & mind - strengthening each; saying yes more than no; meditating without thinking about the clock; dispatching potentially obsessive thinking within five minutes; tuning into my virtual spiritual radio - albeit the station's "staticy;" giving - being kind & receiving kindness; feeding my body & soul; seeking to understand before being understood; walking forward on my pilgrimage alongside close friends; and being the person God created and wills me to be.  Yet, my free will chooses to do differently each day.  Why?

My noble motives for behaving differently, even in the opposite direction, include my: need to be safe from harm; personal protection boundaries; scarcity of resources; American dream of the good life; acceptance by others; need to fix, manage, and control other people towards my vision of "our" good; avoiding fears from the past, present, and future; desire to receive good grades from the judge(s); escape from unfavorable circumstances; pain avoidance; telling of my good life story; loyalty to my family; and justifications for the way things are - "justified."

I expect that the first paragraph is about being rightly related to God and the second paragraph is about self protection and promotion.  The first paragraph was possible because my unholy self nature was judged, found wanting, yet redeemed and reconciled with God, sin debt paid for, by God Himself in Christ - "I'm with Him."  My part was believing on God and His great redemptive work in Christ.

The second paragraph characterizes me working out life by me and for me.  Thankfully, my conscience and the Spirit of God convicts me of this wrong way of being before I cause too much harm.  He restores me daily in a loving way.  My life seems to be a continuing cycles of restoration that're heading in a good direction - like we might expect a loving Father to do for those who are His.

The PDCA model is good - yet, different - standardizing & sustaining change

The only church in town will learn and know that they can respond to His calling and be His.  They'll find fellow pilgrims to walk together with through life's circumstances.  Yes, a continuing series of restorative cycles that strengthen our need for receiving love from our heavenly Father - that kind of love is infectious - It can't stay still.  Love spreads far and wide - shining Light everywhere.

Just for today...

"Half an hour's meditation is essential except when you are very busy. Then a full hour is necessary."  Francis de Sales

"First I need to develop a relationship with God . . . Next, I learn to become at peace with myself . . .  I can't be that person when I'm overly controlled by guilt, fear, and resentment and negligibly aware of my gifts and talents . . . Lastly, I start acting responsibly toward others."  Hope for Today (p. 326)

"...conflicting views become merely different views, so our problems can be solved with tolerant understanding and mutual respect."  One Day at a Time (p. 326)

November 20th - Why listen to, or share, uncomfortable realities about me?

The story...

"What's my husbands name? . . . Do you even know how many kids I have? . . . Do you care? . . . It's all about you."  This was the stinging message that I heard from one of my trusted reports.  She was making the claim that I cared for what she could produce and not truly for her as a person.  Whoa . . . the facts were clearly true . . . but wasn't the workplace suppose to be about work, accomplishment, and my objectives?  Wait, I meant to say "our" objectives - or did I?  As a supervisor, I wasn't suppose to get too close or have favorites - was I?  I could've justified my behaviors but it didn't sit well - I knew she was speaking "her" truth.   Was it possible to be the same good man in all of my endeavors?

Surely there were good examples out there - real people who still had their skin on 'em - not merely a glorified biography of the ideal.  Then, a guy was transferred to my department.  His current supervisor suggested that I witness his performance appraisal delivery.  I was surprised to see a virtuous man, honestly and respectfully, delivering his performance assessment along with their mutual understanding of their working relationship.  Wow ... I wanted to be more like him.  That good man, leader, and friend of many, died a few years later from cancer - another life circumstance that didn't seem fair.

The only church in town will be built on relationships - less-guarded and honest relationships.  Yet, we can't realistically expect to relate well with everyone or even most people.  We're all different and most are operating in a different stage of life.  The community will be okay and respect all people as they "be."  Yet, they'll all share within a better way - trusting in God.

Just for today...

"Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want  to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations."  George Bernard Shaw

"What about those times when I heard truths about myself that left me feeling angry, embarrassed, or upset? When given the occasion to hear or speak an uncomfortable reality, I have choices. I can hear it and grow, I can share it and grow, or I can ignore it in favor of maintaining my comfort zone."  Hope for Today (p. 325)

November 18th - "My life was mostly good - I'm thankful for that."

The story...

A close friend of mine met my mother in her independent-living home in November 2023.  I introduced him to her and they settled down to a one-hour conversation about her life past and present - him in a chair and her laying comfortably in bed.  It was a great joy listening to my mother describe her life - mostly good but there was bad stuff too.  She shared her hope that her kids, grand kids, and great-grand kids would go to church.  Her greatest pain was the loss of her husband in 2011 - she described how she missed him every day.  They lived a good life and that made her happy.  The surprises and joys, in her current life, were centered around the different people that cared for her and met her needs.  "I never was around people like that, I really like them and some of them feel like friends."  That was her unexpected joy - she thought that relationships like those might be why she lived so long.

The only church in town will ideally be kinda like that independent-living home.  There will be some paid staff doing their jobs yet most of the caring and loving will be shared between each other.  People living out their lives and faith, aligned with God's Word, together.  The love my mother felt at the independent-living center surprised me every time I visited.  

What if we spent more time with the folks at church?  We might be surprised at the love we witness, receive and even offer to others.  Many of us are clunky and different so it might appear in unexpected and surprising ways.  Love experienced is worth it.

Just for today...

"If I can see nothing but my troubles, I am seeing with limited vision. Dwelling on these troubles allows them to control me. Of course I need to do whatever foot-work is required, but I also need to learn to let go."  Courage to Change (p. 323)

"When I'm uncommunicative or dishonest in my interactions, I set myself apart and feel rejected. Conversely, open, truthful communication nurtures feelings of trust and encourages me to participate fully in life. However, as I begin to change my old habits, fear of rejection sometimes tempts me to respond in old ways."  Hope for Today (p. 323)

November 17th - Why serve others?

The story...

I was asked to serve on the Child and Family Services governing board within my county.  The person who asked me wanted to ensure that this large receiver of public funds was not duplicating services and that the services they rendered were effective.  I didn't know what I was getting into and learned much over my four years of service.  First, I learned about the organization's services, structure, processes. and the board member roles too. Then, I enjoyed working with my fellow volunteers, the paid non-profit leaders, and some of the actual service providers as well.  During my last year, I chaired the board and presented our funding request to the United Way.  I asked for the largest contribution that was requested that year - the request was approved.  The experience was great - I'm a better person because of it - I'm thankful to all involved.  There are so many people that care deeply for the social services within community - they're good.

What motivated me to serve within the workplace, community, or the church?  Was I seeking affirmation regarding my virtue or capabilities?  Was I looking for the admiration and acceptance of the group(s)?  Was I looking for awards or trophies?   Was I building a well-rounded resume?  Did I want to be counted as a good versus bad character in the "game of life?"  Was I trying to absolve my previously committed sin?  Was it a latent need to win my parent's approval?  Was I ashamed to say no?  Was I trying to be a good boy?

The workers within the only church in town will have a need for volunteers and service.  The noblest of motives will be offered yet people will say yes according to a variety of reasons.  We'll all likely be thankful for the unexpected joy of being a bit less self-centered - actually serving and loving others.  That's some of the unexpected real-good stuff in life - "fruit."

Just for today...

"When I feel the call to service, I pray for knowledge of God's will for me to make sure it's not just me wanting to manipulate, control, or avoid something going on in my life."  Hope for Today (p. 322)

"...sometimes the most competent and helpful assert themselves over-strongly and so engender hostility in others . . . We penalize ourselves when we allow disapproval of another person to endanger the unity of the group."  One Day at a Time (p. 322)

November 15th - Love and respect requires cycles of restoration

The story...

I watched the Netflix series about the book Anne of Green Gables.  The book's a classic for a reason - the story teaches us much about life. The protagonist, Anne, writes and prints an article for her school newspaper about justice and fairness.  She tries to make amends with a girl who takes offense with the article - it damaged her reputation.  The girl cuttingly says something like: "How could a person of a trashy upbringing like you know anything about fairness and justice?"  Anne thoughtfully and respectfully responded that she was the same person now as she was then.  She was worthy of love then and now - she always knew she deserved love but didn't experience it.

"Ann with an 'E'" - Netflix series/

The only church in town will practice love and respect according to the grace and mercy that God the Father so freely gives us in the Lord Jesus the Christ.  Every man, woman, and child may experience love and respect.  Will church discipline's be necessary when self-centered people hurt each other?  The discipline would be thoughtfully delivered along with love and respect - the aim would be to practice justice and fairness.  Cycles of forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration will be ongoing as, people who tend to be selfish, walk together towards the same destination.  The congregates will be thankful that God loves them, His creatures, and sustains them with grace, mercy, love and forgiveness.

Just for today...

"I realized that the look, tone, or mood of another person toward me often has nothing to do with me . . . my extreme sensitivity is a form of conceit - I think I am the focus of everyone's actions. Am I so important that everything that goes on around me must have something to do with me? . . . what other people did and said reflected on them; what I did and said reflected on me."  Courage to Change (p. 320)

"It's not men's acts which disturb us - but our reaction to them. Take these away and anger goes. No wrong act of another can bring shame on you."  Marcus Aurelius

"When I feel a call for service, I pray for knowledge of God's will for me to make sure it's not just me wanting to manipulate, control, or avoid something going on in my life."  Hope for Today (p. 320)

November 9th - Why not ask?

The story...

I didn't get what I wanted and needed because I didn't ask?  Could it be?  Yes it be.

Why not kindly and respectfully ask for what you need or want?  In many cases justification isn't necessary.  Others can express love through meeting your needs if they know what they are.  And, they might reveal their own needs in kind.

The only church in town will be like an honest and thankful family that sees others by the light of God's revealed Word and presence.  They'll express love by caring for each other - that means they'll receive love and accept care too.  That love within their inner-person, their heart, will be expressed within an intimate-ongoing relationship with their Creator - their Sustainer.  That's the kinda graceful place where I wanna be.

Just for today...

"I tried to make them feel guilty by telling them how much I had done for them, or I complained that they never did their part. It never occurred to me that I could simply and politely ask for what I wanted . . . Today I am creating a better way of living, free of guilt and deception."  Courage to Change (p. 314)

"I seldom knew what was good for me, yet I knew what was best for others and didn't hesitate to tell them . . . I feared other people's anger and would do anything to avoid it, yet I was oblivious to my own . . . I can no longer harbor resentment and remain ignorant of my part in creating it . . . My entire life was transformed as a result of taking responsibility for myself, becoming willing to change, and taking action."  Hope for Today (p. 314)

November 8th - Do I truly perform to get that reaction?

The story...

I've been the "story teller" as long as I can remember.  I've thought that it was a personality gift that helps the group enjoy being together and to remember the past too.  Yet, maybe my primary motive was to see your reaction - the one that means you accept me - maybe even like me.  Do I really need your validation?  If so, why?

Where do I get my sense of self worth?  Does it come from my resources, my resume, my family lineage, my intellect, body, physical health, ideas about God, how I adorn my body, awards, job titles, academic degrees, competitive game performance, religious activity, or being well liked by "the group?"

The only church in town will offer God's revealed way for honestly loving you, God your Father, and your neighbor as yourself.  You can be okay within life's changing circumstances - bearing fruit that you haven't conjured up on your own.

Just for today...

"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."  Romans 15:13 NASB

"'I will do somebody a good turn and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count.' What a terrific exercise! It helps me break free of the habit of doing kind or generous things in order to get something back."  Courage to Change (p. 313)

"We both acquired the unhealthy aspects of martyrdom, managing, manipulating, and mothering . . . Today I manage my own life, not the lives of others."  Hope for Today (p. 313)

"Love of self . . . carries out the Commandment: 'Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.' We can love others, and help them, only when we are at peace with ourselves."  One Day at a Time (p. 313)

November 7th - "Think, what you're trying to do with me."

The story...

Why did I react so quickly to people and the unexpected?  Once, there was an XL bear that was moving into our campsite deep within the Boundary Waters of Minnesota.  I was quickly on alert with an adrenaline rush.  What do I do?  He, or she, didn't seem to care much for what I had to say or my situational perspective - they wanted our food.  There was his will (food), my will (self-preservation), and God's will.   

We resorted to our training - we, banged our aluminum pans to the point that they were deformed, missed with the only rock nearby, and finally made it to the canoe and out on the water.  Whose will was that?

The only church in town would be patient with people - slow to react.  The love of Christ, and His grace towards His body of believers, will characterize the personality of the group.  Yes, the group would have a personality - the personality of their Lord and Savior Jesus the Christ.   Yes, they'll have inherent sin natures that may look similar to the personality of the world they live in - they'll need love, grace and frequent reminders of who they actually are in Christ - abiding in Him.

Just for today...

Before reacting: "I stop and visualize two doors. One is marked 'Same old, same old,' or 'My will.'  The other is marked 'New and different' or 'God's will.'  This gives me time to 'Think' and to choose a healthier response . . . other people's behavior belongs to them and I don't have to make it mine by reacting to it."  Hope for Today (p. 312)

"Ironically, when I give up worrying about everyone else and focus on my own health, I give others the freedom to consider their own recovery."  Courage to Change (p. 312)

November 6th - Being respectful within community

The story...

If they all jumped off a bridge - would you jump off too?  It's a frustrating truth that people often adapt to the group - try to fit in.   The Asch Conformity experiment confirms this frustrating behavior often exhibited by us humans.  Maybe that's partly why this is one of my favorite jokes - trying to fit in with the group...

Three construction guys are sittin on an I-beam, on top of a tall building project - they're eating their lunch. 
The Italian says: “If I get another pastrami sandwich tomorrow, I'm going to jump off this building.”
The other two guys stare at him for awhile and return to their lunches.

The guy from Ohio says: "If I get another egg-salad sandwich tomorrow, I'm going to jump of this building." The other two guys stare at him for a while and return to their lunches.

The guy from California hesitates, pauses, and says: "If I get another peanut-butter sandwich tomorrow, then . . . I'm going to jump off this building tomorrow too."

The next day the Italian opens up his lunch  box and disgustingly sees the pastrami, he yells "Mamma Mia!," stands up, and jumps to his death.  The other two guys can't believe what's just happened.

The Ohioan opens his box, sees the egg-salad sandwich - he immediately jumps off to his demise too. 

The Californian is now alone, he slowly opens his box to see the peanut-butter sandwich.  He stands up and jumps over the edge like the other two guys.

Three days later at their funerals, the Italian's wife says “I thought he like those pastrami sandwiches - if he only would have told me.”  The Ohioan's wife says “It is all my fault. I thought he loved egg-salad.”  The Californian's wife says “I just don’t get it, he made his own lunches.”

Wikipedia

The only church in town will guard against the perils of group think.  What a sad state it is when people pretend to be somebody they aren't or claims the untrue.  Sure kids are going to want to please their parents.  But, it's especially sad when adults try to please the pastor or those people who are the "Ins."  People will have the freedom to be honest in the respectful environment of the only church in town.

Just for today...

"Boundaries . . . aren't rules I can enforce on others. They are standards of conduct I set for my own benefit . . .  boundaries are a civilizing ingredient in social interaction, a matter of self-respect and respect for others."  Hope for Today (p. 311)

November 5th - Am I persuading to get the reaction I want?

The story...

I've spent way too much time attempting to convince others to accept my ideas and understanding of what's right, just, or best.  My noble motive may've been to help others yet I may've been attempting to build up or promote me.  I might've justified my proclaiming and arguing as refining my thoughts, ideas, and life purpose.  Developing them wasn't enough though; I had the need to air them out in public and persuade others to accept them too.  I wish I'd spent more time listening to and seeking to understand others - I expect that I'd have grown and matured more quickly.

The following scene from Seinfeld describes Elaine and Jerry interjecting their opinions about ponies at the family gathering.  His attempts to reconcile his behavior falls flat.  He's not getting the reactions that he hopes for - comedians need that positive reaction.  Yes, there're some underlying issues with the Seinfeld cast - it's probably funny, in part, because we can relate to their amplified exhibition of unrestrained self.

   Seinfeld: The pony...

Another reason that I like the Seinfeld series is that the characters seem to like each other just the way they are - even when they behave badly.  The only church in town will be composed of a wide variety of people in different stages of life.  Many to most will be primarily focused on themselves and their own needs until they discover the better way.  There'll be need for mentoring, patience, grace, and the working out of each person's faith in the reality of community - we're worth it.  

Just for today...

"The more my group showed love and respect for me, the more I was able to love myself. Then I could begin to help love others into self-love."  Hope for Today (p. 310)

"If I speak out in order to manipulate or change another person, then their reaction becomes the focus of my attention and the measure by which I evaluate the results."  Courage to Change (p. 310)

November 4th - Reset your bearings each day

The story...

I've enjoyed years of daily readings that've helped me better understand how I might best be and do each day - living life more fully in community too.   In the past, I've started many similar initiatives yet this time it seems lasting.  Why?  I've a group of people who are on similar journeys that I meet with regularly.  And, new people join the group so that the group never forgets its purpose and how far each of us has grown.  Their stories seem part of my story.  I value each and every member of the group - this continues to surprise me.

So, just for today, how about reflecting on the quotes, their meaning for you, and how you might act to be different.  Read, understand, reflect, decide, act and be.

The only church in town will have God's Word to: read, understand, reflect on, decide upon, act on, and to be too.  The church is different from other community groups.  All are important, yet the church may be transformational with eternally realities in clearer view.

Just for today...

"...I find that the only way to have serenity is to become willing to accept the things that I cannot change. Acceptance gives me choices."  Courage to Change (p. 309)

"Consider the little mouse, how sagacious an animal it is which never entrusts his life to one hole only." Platus : Truculentus, act iv. sc. 4.

"I don't get well first and then start to mend. To become a whole person, I need to live now, take part, and become involved with others."  Hope for Today (p. 309)

"...the main source of our unhappiness is that we ourselves don't know what we want. We think we're dissatisfied with what we have, with the way we live, and the way other people act to us. . . It really adds up to this: that we're not satisfied with ourselves, and we can certainly do something about that."  One Day at a Time (p. 309)

October 31st - I'm okay in Christ

The story...

The numbness in both legs began a couple days ago - I noticed it when I was lovin' on my grand daughter while carrying her to the car after the hockey tournament.  The reality of my degenerating lumbar vertebrae can no longer be ignored.  My behavior must match the reality of my condition or my nervous system will give me direct and pointed feedback - ouch, reality's set in.

I expect that some nice person will call me today to schedule my MRI.  They'll insert my body in this big metal tube to take a 3D picture of this unseen reality.  I expect that two of the disks will be a bit flatter and protruded than before and that the stenosis will've narrowed the holes that my nerves are threaded through.  Yes, I'm now more aware of my limitations...

The surgeon told me about 14 years ago that he'd likely see me again in 15 years.  So, why did this catch me by surprise?  I couldn't help but notice that my height's shrinking as my disks flatten.  My spine doesn't care if I like the reality or not - it just is.  My only realistic choice is to adapt to what's true and how I'll move my body.  I can choose to be thankful for every miraculous breath, imagine an alternate reality, or whine and complain. 

The only church in town will offer opportunities to walk side-by-side others as we walk humbly with God.  A more honest life might be lived with a clearer, yet still cloudy, view of spiritual realities and the next life too.

Just for today...

"I'm attacked by thoughts of disaster. I imagine failure, torment, agony. And then I act. I do something rash or fruitless in order to put a bandage on the situation, because the one thing I most fear is being afraid."  Courage to Change (p. 305)

"I grew up in a family where scorn, criticism, and teasing were everyday modes of communication. To cope, I developed the ability to hide my pain and confusion behind sarcasm and ridicule. Making myself feel bigger and better by making fun of others never filled the emptiness I felt inside."  Hope for Today (p. 305)

October 28th - Engage in Today - the Now

The story...

What does the day look like for you?  I don't know as I write this story, self-aware, in history.  Strangely, that first sentence is in the past and I may need to reread it to remember what I wrote.  I must also remember what the first words of this sentence were in order to understand my intended message.

Today, I'm enjoying the "Just for Today" quotes that were written by others years ago.  They were highlighted as important to me years ago.  I'm considering, and making sense of them, in the present. And, they're conveyed to you from history.  You're enjoying them in the now - the present.

We've got today...

The only church in town will be built on wisdom - they'll focus on reality, where to go, and how to get there.  They'll trust what their Creator and Sustainer has revealed.  And, they'll meet and walk humbly/honestly with Him in the present.

Just for today...

"So it's in my best interest to treat others as I wish to be treated. I try to imagine that my words and actions are being addressed to myself, because in the long run I generally get back what I give out."  Courage to Change (p. 302)

"I've learned that if an issue isn't going to be important in 30 days, then it's probably not worth troubling myself with now."  Hope for Today (p. 302)

"Today is mine, It is unique. Nobody in the world has one exactly like it. It holds the sum of all past experience and the future of all potential."  One Day at a Time (p. 302)

October 25th - It's going to be what it's going to be - let it go

The story...

A wise boss once told me to focus on the 20% of the stuff that's within my control, or that I can strongly influence, to get the best results - the essentials.  Let the random variables bounce around within limits and trust our capable people to address the minor issues as they arise.   Our competitors can waste their time focused on the trivial and wear themselves out trying to control the uncontrollable - "We'll eat their lunch."

Steven Covey developed a useful model of three concentric circles that illustrates how we might best classify issues within our mind.  The innermost circle contains issues that are within our control - it's small.  The next bigger circle contains the issues that we can influence - it's bigger.  The next bigger circle are those issues that we are concerned about yet we can't influence or control.

Circles of: Concern, Influence, and Control

Stephen Covey idea

The only church in town will focus on the essentials for growing each person and the group too.  They'll speak to concerns outside their influence and control yet they won't stay there.  They'll trust the power of God to work out His will in those matters - He's fully capable and trustworthy of managing His creation.  His circles have no boundaries.

Just for today...

"One of my defects of character is to make choices passively - letting things happen rather than taking action."   Courage to Change (p. 299)

"... weather was one of the many things completely out of my control.  This perception relieved me of responsibility for the weather, sunny or cloudy, and reminded me of the many things in life over which I have no control. I can only let go and let them be."   Hope for Today (p. 299)

October 24th - Real, sustainable, change takes longer than expected

The story...

I spent more of my life obsessively thinking than I realized.  Was this self-defeating behavior intended for self-preservation?  Was it a defensive mechanism to prevent future pain?  Did I witness it modeled within my family?  Was it something that I developed myself?  Others, who were traveling on a similar path, helped me see the negative effects and the possibility of lasting change.  Sharing my successes and failures, with friends who cared, motivated and sustained me through the long change process.  Obsessive thoughts continue to "pop" into my head; but, now I recognize the ugly buggers for what they are; decide what's true about 'em; accept what's my part; and trust God for the rest.

My victory over chronic obsessive thinking is a good story for me; yet, that's not the point of this story.  This story's about how long it took to achieve and sustain this personal victory in reality.  Initially, I naively thought that mere knowledge of the subject would do it.  Then, I thought a few victories using coping methods would suffice.  Then, I thought that I made it when I could share the why's and how's with other people.  Then, I thought that a few months of many cycles of obsessive thinking recognition, tool application, and significant change was the victory that I was looking for.  It wasn't until my new way of thinking, behaving, and being were internalized that I achieved fundamental personal change.   This took over a year - at least 4X longer than I expected at the onset.

Working out life together within the only church in town will require patience. The community will offer grace and mercy during these long and bumpy life-change processes.  There are reasons why people are behaving in ways that they don't really want to - they often feel like victims.  The only church in town is a place to understand the "why," the "how," and to experience glimpses of the presence of God worked out through the lives of others.  Some changes seem to happen instantly yet most seem to take much time and likely suffering too.  It's hard to say goodbye to even those things that weren't really working for me - "goodbye!"

Just for today...

"I now view my problems as survival skills that served me well as I was growing up . . .  To cope with the blaming and criticism in my home, I became a perfectionist."  Hope for Today (p. 298)

"Like the birch tree, I can be wounded if I am prematurely stripped of my defenses. Most of us have spent a significant amount of time trying to cope with these wounds from the past rather than growing and changing . . . When I am ready, the changes will come easily."  Courage for Change (p. 298)

October 23rd - Quiet your mind to see more wholly?

The story...

It was a cool, fall, windy, and partly-cloudy day.  I was hiking in the woods thinking about a few subjects that were important.  Yet, I wasn't getting what I wanted out of the hike - I wanted to actually "walk out" the "good life" in reality.  Sure, I was earning exercise-points on my Apple watch, increasing my stamina, tearing down my muscles for rebuilding, tiring my body for getting the most out of my night's sleep, and maybe even coming to a few good decisions.  Yet, I wasn't getting what I wanted out of the hike, more of what I value - what I want out of life.

Same beach - different day - similar blessing

I was expecting to quiet my mind so that I might take in the abundance of reality that was going on around me.  As I began to descend the dunes toward the beach, my mind let go of it's grip and the world opened up to me.  The sun, wind, clouds, chill, heat, birds, waves, and sand were alive - I more fully took it all in.  Yes, I was more fully engaged in life.  A wave of fruit seemed to pour in and through my inner man - love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, and self-control.  I experienced a love for God, my fellow man, and me too - restored, strengthened, rested, at peace, full of hope...

The only church in town would be a place where you could lay down your concerns and rest in the reality of who God is and who he made us to be.  It's a great thing to be walking rightly with God in Christ - a fruitful life in the midst of life's ever-changing circumstances.

Just for today...

"Let us stand aside so the light can shine on us and on all we do, so we can see ourselves and our circumstances with true clarity . . . I must find the vantage point where I can most clearly see my difficulty as it is; then answers will come."  One Day at a Time (p. 297)

"I don't have to accept the unacceptable, nor do I have to argue back or convince another person that I'm innocent or right . . . I can listen without taking the words personally."  Courage to Change (p. 297)

"My parents used religion to keep me in line. I believed we went to the only true church . . . He doesn't live in a box. He lives in me and in those around me. He loves me, cares for me, and accepts me just as I am - a work of art in progress."  Hope for Today (p. 297)

October 22nd - Do you want them to "act" as the person you want them to be?

The story...

During my mid-life years, I went fishing to recreate.  Inevitably, I'd call my dad to tell him what happened.  I knew that he was interested in fishing, and he seemed to appreciate learning about my episodes too.  There was a sort of give-and-take in those conversations - we were both able  to "check in" with each other.

I lost most of my interest in fishing after my dad died.  Strangely, I seem to have gone fishing to reexperience good feelings from early years.  Maybe I wanted my dad to know that I was okay and that I appreciated him in a way that I could communicate.  

My dad was a good man.  Yet, he wasn't able to meet some of my significant needs.  I accepted this truth and loved him, thankfully, for who he was.

I do fish now for different reasons.  I no longer seek my dad's approval and I don't need to be fishing with another person to be fulfilled - I'm "okayer," thankful and more content.

The only church in town will be a place where you can meet a close friend, friends, community, and God within view of that bright Light that's God's revealed Word.  Why not honestly live out life within community as opposed to acting out on your own?  You're an important part of this epic story of life - why not live out your part?

Just for today...

"Expecting him to be a nurturing person was unrealistic . . . I adopted some of his character defects as my own . . . I needed to give myself what was not in his power to give - love, acceptance, wisdom, a safe childhood, and a healthy initiation into manhood."  Hope for Today (p. 296)

October 21st - Interfering to keep things as they ought to be?

The story...

Winning a competitive game, by a significant margin, doesn't fit who I am.  I'd prefer to play a close game with an exciting finish - each person finishing in a positive state or condition.  My preference might be something that I would want to share with others - should I?

Bill Shankly's quote for competitive games - not so good in real life?

When are parent's expected to stop interfering through unwanted advice given to their kids?  Should they first receive requests or permission from their teenagers?  Sure there're necessary safety and household rules; but, when do attempts to positively influence become destructive interference?

Why not offer the dignity and respect to work out their own lives?  We can still help each other by developing strong relationships that provide a safe space to walk side-by-side through life - helping and sharing as needed and requested.

The only church in town will be a place to meet and grow together.  Honest, humble, and respectful relationships built around the revealed Word of God.

Just for today...

"We brought many troubles on ourselves by interfering . . . Am I fearful, picturing with dread what the future will bring? I will let go and let God, and live only of this one day."  One Day at a Time (p. 295)

"I was taught that if I did what I was told without question, I would be safer and happier. In my family, obedience meant following a strict, straight line."  Hope for Today (p. 295)

October 20th - Acting in love in spite of fear

The story...

For about a year, I invested time with people living in an independent care facility - the workers, the residents, and visitors too - a person that I loved resided there.  Almost everything about that atmosphere is welcoming and my initial interactions were good; yet, I'm not sure if they'd truly want me to intervene within their lives - to love and be loved.

One day, I planned to leave my home at 10:45 AM to spend about 1.5 hours there.  It was just a plan so I wasn't sure that I'd follow through with it.  I expected that the force(s) that seemingly inhibited, or resisted, this seemingly "good" activity are fears that I'm unconscious of.  Here's a list of those fears that I was able to discern.  They're ranked according to my perceived likelihood that they'd deter my visit.  It's strange that these fears may hold me back from working out a doable, loving, activity that certainly fits within my "constitution."

• End-of-life situations experienced
• Perceived rejection
• Time invested that I could or should've spent elsewhere
• Periods of time when I don't know what to do - abiding
• Frequent thoughts of wanting to escape - get out of there
• Idea that I'm doing this to demonstrate that I'm a "good boy" - a "brag" story
• Strange interactions with people who've limited abilities to communicate
• Uncomfortable smells and sounds

There will be inertia to love and act out that love within the only church in-town.  They'd love and act out that love both within and outside their community.  There'll be a sort of supernatural sense of being or condition for those who are actively loving God, themselves and their neighbors too.  Infected with love?

Just for today...

"I've lost many, many hours waiting to solve a problem or be freed of a character defect. Today I am learning to make room in my life for the wonders that life has to offer."  Courage to Change (p. 294)

"Fear is a feeling, not an action. Courage is not the absence of fear. It's choosing to act with love in spite of fear."  Hope for Today (p. 294)

October 19th - Self Actualization - Is that what you truly want?

The story...

Yesterday, I participated in a meeting with fourteen other men - we were focused on topics that were important to us all.  Each of us were group leaders who would later facilitate similar discussions with our own groups. There were expectations that we engage in conversation to share and learn from each other and to further prepare for leading our own groups.  In the past, I felt a strong desire to share what was on my mind.  The noble motives for my sharing may have been: edifying others; redirecting conversation to what I thought was more important; identifying logical, practical or factual flaws; or to behave like a "good" group member.

Yesterday, I listened well and recorded helpful learnings and observations that might work into my own group's topical conversation.  I didn't speak up at all and felt peaceful and content within the full meeting.  I think that my self might've been quietly riding in the back seat and that the real me, and my faith in God, were up front driving the car.  I was content and thankful for my compadres.

My "self" seemed to be quietly riding in the back seat.  He likes to be: proud, accepted, admired; and the focus of attention - even at the expense of others.  The self I've been gifted with is a competitor who's working to expand what is his with hopes of being safe, secure, and admired by others - indispensable.  Self tends to live in an imaginary world where he's the main character - the most important one.  Kinda like a little "god."  Ugh...

Maslow's five hierarchy of needs suggests that each self's goal is to be "self actualized."  A world where everyone's a winner and there are no losers.  Human history seems to read as a long saga of pain and anguish fueled by selfish "selves" who war against each other trying to fulfill their grandiose sense of "self" - to be self actualized.  To place their community at a privileged level in accordance to their higher-order view of self.  Their self aims to be elevated to a higher level, a sort of "god' whereby the community is enriched and "self' is celebrated and greatly appreciated.  Maybe it's a sort of illusive love that we secretly crave?

Maslow's hierarchy of needs with an additional level?

The only church in town will preach what God has revealed about who He is and who we are as His creatures.  True freedom from the tyrannical ruler of "self" is offered.  Is your desire to transcend yourself to a sort of "god" valid or even reasonable?

Just for today...

"I need to distinguish between giving out of love and giving to please others in order to gain their attention or approval."   Hope for Today  (p. 293)

"Struggling and worrying didn't help me to solve my problem. Doing my part and trusting God with the rest did."   Courage to Change (p. 293)

"I will not allow my imagination to build small troubles into big ones. I will try to see each situation clearly, and give it only the value and attention it deserves."  One Day at a Time (p. 294)