How might we work out your faith/life walk better in a town with only one church?
I've been part of a small community who helped me be a better person. We shared three daily readings: Courage to Change, One Day at a Time, and Hope for Today.
As Rommel, I post my daily observations, related content, and how these ideas have helped me better work out my life story.
Please join me in my discovery of how a one-church town might be good-to-great.
We've seen people isolate themselves after extended periods of rejection - not receiving the love they needed - they seem to've given up. They may appear as an Eeyore or not appear at all.
Maybe they looked for love in all the wrong places. Or, maybe they expected that all their love needs should've been met by their parents or that illusive life-long partner.
Looking for love in all the wrong places.
I hope that the only church in town will be the community where they engage in life - experiencing the giving and receiving of love. What will be that source of strength and love? They'll have the book that offers really "good news." They might just learn about, and hopefully experience, "The" source within the only church in town. "Ain't that good news . . . man ain't that news."
Just for today...
"I did choose to give my younger brother things I wanted myself in order to win his love. I did decide to shut off my feelings from my family . . . I had to look at why I chose to become involved with unavailable people . . . My choices reflect my opinion of a relationship with myself." Hope for Today (p. 278)
"I have a choice about where to focus my my attention. I'm challenged to find positive qualities in myself, my circumstances, and other human beings . . . It may be difficult to break a long-established pattern of depression, doom-sayings, and complaining, but it's worth the effort." Courage to Change (p. 278)
I walked into the T-Group at a NTL Human Interaction Laboratory in Bethel, Maine. My V.P. of H.R. recommended that I attend this week-long experience that he personally found transformational. This was the first session and nobody was talking - we were all just sitting there. I guessed who the leader(s) were yet they said nothing. A few people were so uncomfortable with the silence that they spoke up, asked questions, and even tried to start their own meeting activity - the group shut each of these people down in order - the agitation, uncomfortableness, and negative group dynamic grew. It got better and better as the week progressed - for everybody.
The week was transformational for me - I left more accepting of me and more thankful for the group. We learned, experienced, and worked out being a more fully-functioning human being within community - experiencing the value of working and living together. Yes, I was a better person having experienced this Human Interaction Laboratory - I learned and grew with and through other people.
1990's training binder on group dynamics
Even after all of the courses, experiences, successes and failures, I still find group dynamics challenging, rewarding, and discouraging too. Yet, friendship, working out life together, and community are worthy and seem to be a most important part of our life experience.
"We" may not be more capable in some things than "me," yet together "we" are more complete and more capable, and maybe more fulfilled. Yet, the fear of group rejection, not fitting in, still looms in the background. What if they ... The risk of group rejection reminds me of the following scene where Forest Gump defends Jenny during a Black Panther meeting - not fitting in.
Forest Gump's fight ruins the Black Panther party?
The only church in town will grow people, friendships, groups and community within the Light of God's truth about who He, they, we, and I am. It'll be a great place to live, grow, and be - working out life together where really good news is heard and shared. A place where people learn to love, be loved and suffer together too - just as we were created to be?
Just for today...
"The change in me will be reflected in every person whose life touches mine." One Day at a Time (p. 278)
"I've learned to live with, put up with, and tolerate many things. I wanted to change but was afraid to try for fear of the unknown . . . I finally tore the wallpaper down." Hope for Today (p. 278)
"I realized that it was my own fear and shame, and not the embarrassing details of my problems, that kept me at a distance." Courage to Change (p. 278)
"Why did I do that? . . . Why do I make so many mistakes? . . . Why didn't I do that good thing? . . . Why am I not motivated to take action? . . . Why did they reject me? . . . Why didn't I complete my assignment? . . . Why didn't I speak up? . . . Why didn't I keep my mouth shut and listen? . . . Why can't I be like them?"
Self awareness is a good thing - some say it's what makes us human. Thinking about thinking allows us to grow, adapt, improve and even survive. Yet, wrong self thinking can lead us into self-defeating spirals that take us down rat holes where precious life can be wasted.
WSJ 09/09/23 (p. C1)
Similarly, we can dwell on our feeling in unproductive ways. Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey did a good job in their article, "The Power to Decide How You Feel," of describing how we might: be more aware of our thoughts and feelings, decide what's true about them, take action when needed, and then disposition them for what they really are - "...understanding that emotions are signals to your conscious brain that something is going on that requires your attention and action." Feelings can be a wonderful sensing mechanism that our self-aware mind can use to further understand reality to better both act and be. "I am not this anger. It will not manage me or make my decisions for me."
The only church in town will shine the Light of God on what's truly valuable and lasting - stuff we can't hold in our hands.
Just for today...
"I will spend more time with myself in this lifetime than with anyone else. Let me learn to be the kind of person I would like to have as a friend." Courage to Change (p. 277)
"I tried to manipulate and control everybody in my life to change the shape of their personalities to suit mine. I even attended workshops so I could make changes happen . . . Instead of spending time with people and situations where I don't fit, I can look for ones that I do." Hope for Today (p. 277)
"Chronic stress often leads to maladaptive coping mechanisms in modern life. These include the misuse of drugs and alcohol, rumination on the sources of stress, self-harm, and self-blaming. These responses don't just fail to provide long-term relief they can further compound your problems through addiction, depression, and increased anxiety. What these coping techniques do is try to change the outside world - at least as you perceive it." Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey, "The Power to Decide How You Feel" Wall Street Journal, 9/09-10/23 (p. C1).
The USA Supreme Court protects and interprets our constitution. Who protects my constitution? I guess it's me. Should I just do it, think about it, or write in on my to-do list? Some things must be planned yet some things are acted on as a matter of habit or principle. Within my constitution, can I, or should I, just do it? I understand my constitution to be principles, or precedents, for how I manage my life - how I make decisions and act on them in accordance with who I am. Take a look at my bookmark I crafted and laminated in the 1990s - it speaks to being versus doing.
This purpose statement is helpful yet it doesn't seem to be a constitution for how I might make daily decisions. The following are a few ideas about the choices that I expect to make today, on my birthday, and record the principle(s) that seems to actually be driving them. Might this be a reasonable way to write my constitution as opposed to a lofty set of ideas that I'd like to be true about me?
Make and drink coffee - Live in a supportive and comfortable environment - self-care.
Put on an old blue button-down-collar shirt - Love in storge sort of way - self-care - self-respect.
Bring my momma a donut at her new independent living place - Be kind to family and community.
Enjoy lunch with a best friend - Share and grow with good friends.
Close Exercise ring on my Apple Watch - Work toward goals - self-care.
Write in my blog - Better understand "what's going on" and share too.
Tweak my investment choices - Plan and prepare for the future.
Prepare for 1st BSF group meeting - Learn and grow with other men.
Pray and meditate - Work out my relationship with God in Christ.
Answer birthday wish visits and phone calls - Build kind, growing, and loving relationships.
Greet people on the bike path - Love and receive love.
Afternoon nap - Be kind to me.
Eat meals - Care for me and be happy.
Organize basement - Simplify for me and others too.
The only church in town will likely have a written purpose statement and constitution. I hope that each member of this "called out group of people" would have their own constitution too and that the two would flow congruently.
Just for today...
"I felt afraid of doing the job incorrectly and being criticized, but I accepted it anyway. My fears were quelled because criticism never came . . . 'I can, I can, I can! And I do.'" Hope for Today (p. 276)
(He'd be giving it to her) If she knew what she needs
(He could give her that too) If she knew what she wants
(But he can't see through her) If she knew what she wants
He'd be giving it to her Giving it to her
But she wants everything (He can pretend to give her everything)
Or there's nothing she wants (She don't want to sort it out)
He's crazy for this girl (But she don't know what she's looking for)
If she knew what she wants He'd be giving it to her
Giving it to her I'd say her values are corrupted
But she's open to change Then one day she's satisfied
And the next I'll find her crying And it's nothing she can explain
If she knew what she wants (He'd be giving it to her)
If she knew what she needs (He could give her that too)
If she knew what she wants (But he can't see through her)
If she knew what she wants He'd be giving it to her
Giving it to her (giving it to her) Some have a style
That they work hard to refine So they walk a crooked line
But she won't understand Why anyone would have to try
To walk a line when they could fly No sense thinking I could rehabilitate her
When she's fine, fine, fine She's got so many ideas traveling around in her head
She doesn't need nothing from mine If she knew what she wants
(He'd be giving it to her) If she knew what she needs
(He could give her that too) If she knew what she wants
(But he can't see through her) If she knew what she wants
He'd be giving it to her Giving it to her
But she wants everything (He can pretend to give her everything)
Or there's nothing she wants (She don't want to sort it out)
He's crazy for this girl (But she don't know what she's looking for)
If she knew what she wants He'd be giving it to her
Giving it to her (He'd be giving it to her)
(He could give her that too) (But he can't see through her)
Ooooooh Giving it to her Giving it to her now."
Susanna Hoffs and the Bangles: "If she knew what she wants."
We'll find people within the only church in town who're trusting God to meet essential needs. Yes, we might trust God and bear real fruit - the kind of stuff we need. Now, I desire His Will and want to be okay in Christ - praise God.
Just for today...
"When we bring things out into the light, they lose their power over us." Courage to Change (p. 275)
"Few of us know what we really want, and none of us knows what is best for us. That knowledge remains, in spite of all our determined resistance, in the hands of God." Hope for Today (p. 275)
"... when we are strong we are always much greater than the things that happen to us, and the soul of a man who has found himself is like a deep sea in which there may be many fish: but they never come up out of the sea, and not one of them is big enough to trouble its placid surface. His "being" is far greater than anything he feels or does." Thomas Merton, No Man Is an Island (p. 125)
I read and silently sang songs from a "Young Life" song book this morning. It was a wonderful imaginary trip into: past experiences, feelings, and glimpses of what might be down the road.
Maybe I've imagined more when I was young - before the reality of the middle chapters of life were written. The future was unknown then; yet, I question how much I do remember of what actually happened. My perspectives were limited, there was a lot I didn't see, much I ignored, and certainly spiritual realities that weren't perceivable by my senses.
I can only imagine
The only church in town will work out life within community - one that trusts God's. A community that's enlightened by the Word of God. While imagining realities that are only partially witnessed, we're able to experience enough with glimpses of so much more. "I can only imagine..."
Just for today...
"This day is all I have to work with. The past is over and tomorrow is out of reach." Courage to Change (p. 274)
Worrying is using your imagination to create a future you don't want.
I will to listen better today. Yes, I plan on running an experiment today - I intend to fully listen to others to better understand them and to apply what I learn to me and my life. I wonder if I can both make it through a whole day and if I can actually maintain an interest in others. Of course that means I must put myself out there in the presence of other people and engage in conversation too. I can do this experiment; yet, will I? Do I need to remind myself? I'm turning off the computer now so that the experiment might begin.
Later that morning I received some news that changed my experiment. I expect that I was kind and listened well yet that wasn't my focus. The trivial was forgotten in light of the new news that focused my attention. I couldn't help but listen to the reality of life - my ears were wide open.
People living together within the only church in town will drift less frequently into an imaginary reality due to the light of God's Word shining on reality. And, they'll tend to actually care for, and have a true interest in, other people. Yes, this is a place where there're things that you'll want to listen to - the truth about Him, us, and the future. Do you want to be with or without Him - "listen up."
Just for today...
"What I learn from negative comments can be useful in opening my mind to my own wrong thinking." One Day at a Time (p. 273)
"It is the disease of not listening . . . that I am troubled with." William Shakespeare
I read a quote from Thomas Merton's book that surprised me - it rang true to my previous learnings, knowledge, experiences, and possibly my spirit too. I suspected these things were true; yet, I hadn't put the pieces together before. "No Man Is an Island," was an impactful book that helped my better understand life's journey. Thomas seemed to've put the important pieces of life together before I was born. I'm so thankful that he shared his life walk with God in a way that I could receive, understand, apply to me, and to live out more fully too.
I read another book that summarized Merton's life up to the point of his entering the life of a monk in central Indiana. I hope that we all seek to better understand who we are as we work out our life story. Seems like part of a good life is sharing and growing alongside other fellow sojourners. I expect that we'll learn we need each other.
The only church in town will be a place where we can meet others who want to work out their life in the reality of God's revealed Word. We can share our lives together and become a more complete whole - a community.
Just for today...
"... when we are strong we are always much greater than the things that happen to us, and the soul of a man who has found himself is like a deep sea in which there may be many fish: but they never come up out of the sea, and not one of them is big enough to trouble its placid surface. His "being" is far greater than anything he feels or does."
"The deep secrecy of my own being is often hidden from me by my own estimate of what I am. My idea of what I am is falsified by my admiration for what I do . . . We all seek to imitate one another's imagined greatness. If I do not know who I am, it is because I think I am the sort of person everyone around me wants to be."
The virus symptoms lasted for 2.5 weeks. Since it persisted past the two-week limit, I decided to call my primary-care doctor. He likely wouldn't be able to identify the virus - he might've prescribed an anti-viral drug to boost my immune system. Since I had only a basic understanding of immune systems, I listened to three related YouTube introductory videos. I learned principals that helped me appreciate my body even more and to identify some of my behaviors and misunderstandings that may have hindered me.
He listened to my symptoms and physically inspected me - an intern with him also repeated some of the checks. He asked for two blood samples to both check my immune system and to search for wasted muscle - he'd an idea of what it might be yet didn't tell me. My blood was drawn at 3:30pm 9/01/2023.
Four days later, I was hoping to get the blood test results. These data were to help my doctor prescribe a course of action to better my body and the life I live through it. I speculated much over those three days - I knew in part yet I'd likely know more in a few hours.
The virus continued on, I visited my primary physician once again and he asked for more blood tests. The specific virus was never really known - the symptoms faded a way over a few weeks.
Suffering will be found in the only church in town yet, it won't be their focus. They'll focus on the truth of God's good news and the blessings that're found by living out each day in the "Light" of day.
Just for today...
"If my life has become unmanageable, how can I get control of it? Am I being forced into doing things I don't want to do, like losing my temper, contriving, conniving and scheming to make things work out the way I want them?" One Day at a Time (p. 271)
"If thou canst not make thyself such a one as thou wouldst, how canst thou expect to have another according to thy liking?" Thomas Kempis - The Imitation of Christ
"If I knew what was coming, I suspect that I would spend all my time trying to run from painful experiences instead of living. I would miss out on so much great stuff." Courage to Change (p. 271)
We were sitting on the porch talking about two mutual friends. One of that pair had delivered clear feedback to the other, and even set up a new personal boundary, in order to protect their friendship. My friend commented that friends do give specific personal feedback when they have to: "that's what friends do." The next day I delivered specific personal feedback to that same friend - they reacted negatively and defensively - it was difficult to deliver the one-time feedback in a way that was received let alone acknowledged. The exchange was difficult, uncomfortable; yet, I think it worked out for the best.
Maybe good friends tell their friend their perceived truth once - not nagging or trying to persuade. Should friends focus on the relationship and not on reforming or reframing each others minds or souls? I think my friends have the space to share their mind and soul, as they will to, yet we respect each other's "space." I'm okay with my friends just as they are - that's a strong foundation to build on and to grow too. We grow together.
The only church in town would be a place where people might find truer friends who they can grow together with. Everyone would have at least one "good" friend to walk side by side with along their journey towards that celestial city.
Just for today...
"Smugness is the very worst sin of all, I believe. It is difficult for a shaft of light to pierce the armor of self-righteousness. Many of the things I thought I did unselfishly turned out to be pure rationalizations to get my own way about something." One Day at a Time (p. 270)
"At our wedding ceremony, the minister said, '... and the two shall become one,' and we did, 'We' became 'him.'" Hope for Today (p. 270)
Fifty-six years later, I still have a coloring project that I made in third grade. I colored, many colors, all over a piece of crepe paper and covered the whole thing in black - I scraped off the black to make an image of a horse. I also have a few pieces of clothing that I owned before I was married. The house that I grew up in still exists even though it's eroded to a shadow of what I once believed it to be. I worked at a manufacturing organization for over 20 years and must've created and signed thousands of documents - It's likely that those document are all either replaced, deleted, or at best archived. It's true that nothing stays the same and that there'll likely be little evidence that we ever existed in the not too distant future.
Martin Luther has a famous quote that I value: "I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God's hands, that I still possess." My hands are touching a keyboard as I type - it's a helpful tool that allows me to create, understand, be, and communicate; yet, that too will go away some day.
I actually painted this...
He's got the whole world in His hands. He will work His will out with our without you. Why not trust Him and bear the fruit that only He can give - it's the stuff that'll last.
The only church in town will teach how to trust God according to what He's revealed about Himself, our relationship, what He expects within our relationship, and the most significant future events that'll impact us and our world too. We can trust Him with our problems, concerns, and the people whom we love.
Just for today...
"My parents are due to visit. Nothing promotes my relapse into compulsive, controlling behavior better than the anticipation of their judgement . . . Each time I doubt that my God knows the way, I'll remember how chaotic and complicated my life becomes when I try to take control." Hope for Today (p. 269)
My walks in the woods are important to me. There're few man-made objects to be seen. There're sounds of creatures, the wind, rustling leaves, and your feet crushing leaves and twigs. You can feel the wind in your hair and the bumps in the path pushing through the soles of your shoes and sending signals through your calloused feet. You can smell a few plants and the decaying leaves too. You won't taste much; yet, you'll discern a couple things. Yes, we can sense more while living in the present.
Along my walks, I'm capable of drifting back to an unresolved scenario from my past - often thinking about my role, what I did, and what I might've done. I've learned to decide what's true about the past situation and to "dispatch" the history before it turns into obsessive thinking and depression. Often the thoughts end well with me accepting reality and trusting God for needed resolution.
While walking, I might entertain expectations and plans for future events. This type of thinking can be a worthy, decisive, hiking time investment; yet, they too can turn into unproductive obsessive thinking. It's not hard to begin imagining what might go wrong to the point of imagining my fears into negative, pessimistic expectations for the future. I don't want to view the future pessimistically nor walk into my future unprepared.
You know these guys...
It seems good when half of my time, walking down the path of life, is living in and more fully perceiving the present - experiencing my senses, feelings, and more "tuned into" my spirit and the presence of God. Most often this state's not a thinking thing. It's a peaceful and restful place to be, with my mind at rest, sensing what's going on around me, and looking forward to what's up around the path's bend. I also seem to enjoy my encounters with other hikers better too when I am walking peacefully in the present - it's good to be connected within community. When I finish my hike, I feel senses of accomplishment, restfulness, and a better sense of connectedness with my whole self, others and God too - more okay and loved.
What happens when we don't experience love for an extended period of time? Might we fail to engage in life or even to experience emotions? I've heard stories of ignored-orphanage babies who stopped crying - they seem to've realized that there was nobody there to comfort them - to be loved. The only church in town's a place to learn about what God's revealed about Himself, us, and realistic expectations for the future. The church is a place for experiencing the love of God and real reasons for being okay with yourself. I want to be present in a place with loving relationships - living within the grace of God - how about you?
Just for today...
"What would happen if we stopped blaming anyone for anything? We would experience miracles of tolerance and grace - rich spiritual rewards, reflected in a life of real fulfillment." One Day at a Time (p. 268)
"...I suffered from the disease in the form of emotional sickness and spiritual starvation . . . When I could not do another thing for myself . . . God wrapped me in protective care and began to teach me that I am worthy of joy and serenity . . . God's grace is doing for us what we cannot do for ourselves." Hope for Today (p. 268)
I recently attended an event with a group of people who I haven't met with for a few years. As we worked out the socially acceptable conversation, it seemed they didn't want to hear my perspective, ideas, or story. The frequent interruptions seemed to validate my take on this "group thing" - it appeared that I was violating their norms, values, and unwritten code of acceptable behavior. It was almost as though the scene was and act in a play and that we were all suppose to act out our assigned roles. The "play" must go on as it has in the past. Maybe the group was saying: "We've been just fine and dandy and we will not allow you to disrupt our patterns with your big, idealistic, ideas of how we might be better off according to you." They wouldn't be wrong, I didn't want to be an actor in this play and I don't want to journey down their accepted path that seems to lead to something less than what I hope for.
I did deliver my messaging, although frequently interrupted, without overtly challenging what seemed to be rude and disrespectful behavior on their parts. I felt rejected by the group and experienced feelings that might've propelled me to quickly react in disrespectful ways - I'm thankful that I showed respect and didn't react negatively. I don't have to accept future invitations to return.
The only church in town will preach the Word of God - His Word will frequently conflict with the reality of how congregants are behaving and acting out their lives. People will be free to work out their faith in reality amongst like-minded people within community.
Just for today...
"One of my character defects is to respond in kind to behavior that is directed to me - to react to insults with more insults, to rudeness with rudeness . . . If I am always reacting then I am never free." Courage to Change (p. 267)
"I will not try to outwit or outmaneuver anyone else, but will proceed quietly to live my life so I will have less reason for self-reproach. I will withdraw my mind from what others do, and think of what I am doing. I will not react to challenging words and actions." One Day at a Time (p. 267)
"When you are offended at any man's fault, turn to yourself and study your own failings. Then you will forget your anger." Epictetus
"If you're in a frustrating exchange with another person - drop the tug-of-war rope." I remember hearing about this "tool" from another person who described it as one she used on her journey to being more okay with herself. She was at a point of feeling worthy of being loved and able to more fully love others too. "Dropping the rope" seemed easy to do so I "tried it on" for a few days - the results were real good. I shared my exuberance for the "tool" application, at our next meeting, and was ready to "try on" more live-giving ways of living from these new friends who'd traveled a similar road. As we listened and shared, our lives began to grow together - we seemed to be walking side-by-side as fellow sojourners towards the "Celestial City" - enjoying each other's company along the way.
The only church in town will offer, those who might read Pilgrim's Progress, to better understanding of our life journey towards that celestial city. The church will offer fellow pilgrims God's revelation about Himself, faith, hope, peace, joy, our future, and sustenance for our most adventurous journey.
Just for today...
"It's a wonderful opportunity to practice giving unconditional love and support by simply listening. Many of us hear stories that are similar to our own; others can often identify with the feelings that are expressed. Perhaps we will be reminded of where we have been and how far we have come." Courage to Change (p. 266)
"Worrying about trifles saps my spiritual energy which I could certainly put to better use. Am I willing to waste my life in this way? . . . I will not be made uneasy by what others do, whether they intend to hurt me or not. I will not clutter up my thoughts with resentment; it would not profit me, worse it would hurt me." One Day at a Time (p. 266)
"Sometimes I'm afraid I'll have to separate from my family members to maintain my quest for healthy living, especially when they deny and justify their unacceptable behavior . . . I am slowly learning that trying to change someone else's behavior to suit my needs is an exercise in futility and frustration. Truly profound power and peace lie in the ability to change my behavior to suit my needs . . . I can accept people as they are." Hope for Today (p. 266)
I was waiting in a McDonalds line on the way back from a trip where I was less than a team player. For whatever reasons, I resented efforts from other people to bend the plans for our two-family trip. Surely I knew that others had different expectations, perceptions, needs and wants; yet, I seemed to think I knew best for everyone. I was frustrated with everything about that restaurant and the people who were there too. It was bad enough that I remember thinking - "this is not okay, you need to be different." Something had to change - I remember waiting in the line and pondering the situation so it must have been an impactful life moment. "There's got to be a better way."
How do we know when we're not acting or thinking as a whole person - missing something that we need to make wise decisions? We might: think wrongly, act selfishly, resent what others did or who they seem to be, know less than necessary, isolate from needed compadres, try to prevent further wounds, focus on pleasing people, be co-dependent on other people, or possibly act separately from the Spirit of God. As if those reasons aren't enough to pause before acting, the acronym HALT comes to mind - pause if you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.
Might the only church in town offer a true message of hope, peace, and joy (Romans 15:13)? Might a humble, more truthful, life-walk with God be the good life? Yes...
Just for today...
"Although my life was full of chaos, it was familiar chaos, which gave me the feeling that I had some control over it. This was an illusion." Courage to Change (p. 265)
"With my thoughts distorted by fear, despair and resentment, and my nerves overwrought, I could not think clearly nor make wise decisions." One Day at a Time (p. 265)
Thomas Merton taught me wonderful things that I'd only inklings of before I first read his book: "No Man is an Island." I agreed with John Bunyan that I needed other people to walk alongside me on our journey to the Celestial city as I read "The Pilgrim's Progress." C.S. Lewis' "Mere Christianity" offered a rational, and easy to understand, picture of what it means to be a Christian. "The Source," by James Mitchener, broadened my view of this epic story of life that we have a role in. Yet most importantly, I learned about who God was when I read the gospel of John during the summer of 1980 - that experience seemed to change my life's course forever.
Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) is studied the book of John during the 2023-2024 season. What a wonderful opportunity to walk alongside others learning more about what God's revealed about Himself, Us, and the future too. I plan to trust God with every reading, lesson, prayer, lecture, and group study. Oh that He will bring me closer to walk more faithfully, hopefully, and humbly with Him - to be free indeed!
The author, the Apostle John, is described as Jesus' best friend and the Apostle whom Jesus loved. John was the only one of the 12 who wasn't martyred for his faith. He was persecuted for his faith yet God protected him and we can learn soo... much from his letter that he wrote towards the end of his most well-lived life. Why not pick up your bible today and read more about who God is? He revealed much to the Apostle John throughout his incarnation and as the risen Christ too. I'm so thankful that John faithfully recorded his revelations. God doesn't change so we can trust what we learn about Him - what He was like then is true about Him now too.
The only church in town will introduce people to God. They'll preach and teach His revelation about: Himself; creation; Us; how we might live a fruit-bearing life with God in Christ; and the future that will happen. What they learn and experience will likely lead them to praise, worship, and service. They'll learn that the best place to work out life is within the will of God. His will will be worked out with you or without you. They'll learn that the best condition is to be safe within the hands of God in Christ.
Just for today...
"The surest plan to make a Man is: Think him so." James R. Lowell
"I was confident and capable. They all seemed to be whiners or perfectionists . . . As confident and capable as I was, I was afraid to speak up and ask for help . . . Her voice trembled as she admitted she desperately needed a sponsor but was afraid to ask anyone. She began to cry. Another member passed a box of tissues, and as I took the box in my hands, I realized that the frightened voice was my own . . . The same people I had once looked down upon now appeared to me as angels." Hope for Today (p. 264)
I wanted something from my dad that he couldn't give me. Did he tell me that it was his to offer or did I just assume he could? He did thigs with my older brother that he didn't do with me - maybe there was something deficient in me? I assumed that he was a "good" moral person because he did good stuff, was an upstanding member of the community, went to church, and served multiple roles in the church too. His personality and gifts were different than mine and I couldn't be like him no matter how hard I tried. So, what did I want from him that he couldn't give? He did give me much.
I'd like to have known what a good life looked like and that I was worthy, capable and had the power to live one out. I'd like to have been okay with me and my unique: capabilities, talents and self even though the people of the world seemed to continually challenge my worth.
These guys said I had the power - I don't think they had it to give.
My dad was a good man and good dad - he helped me much and did the best he could with what he had. I wanted a close relationship with God, my dad, with a few close friends, with my family, eventually alongside a life partner and my community too - these relationships were illusive for me. I'm so thankful for them now.
The relationships that we need might be found within the only church in town. They can be worked out within the will of God - He's got the power.
Just for today...
"I thought that resentment would prevent me from ever being hurt again . . . living my life under the heavy burdens of rage and resentment were hurting me . . . I experienced a spiritual awakening in the form of a deep desire to let go of those feelings that were poisoning my life . . . I gave up my bitterness and regained my life." Hope for Today (p. 263)
My four siblings and I lived closely together. Each family member seemed to provide something that other family members lacked. Some took on a role that partly filled a group need: Planner, Encourager, Tester, Teacher, Story Teller, Helper, Organizer, Server, Project Leader, Decision Maker, Giver, Doer etc. Maybe that means we were a bit dysfunctional when one of the family members was gone for a period of time? I expect that we each flexed our style in order to recover some of the lost value of our missing sibling. It's frustrating to see siblings compare each other to evaluate who is the "best" or to try to fulfill a "best" image that the family has conjured up. It seems better to appreciate the value of the "we" and enjoy each other just as they are. It's a good thing to be okay with who you are - this state of well being seems like a sound foundation for continual growth within the "good life."
It would be a shame if there was a family code that encouraged all members to live, think and act in similar ways according to a "best" standard. "If I could just fix _____ then I'd be okay" - ugh.
People new to the only church in town would learn about the Body of Christ and how people are given unique characteristics, talents, and gifts in order to better form God's called out group of people according to His will (1 Corinthians 12). Each person would be valued and offered the opportunity to engage in the church community. The church would be a place where people would go to serve their role in something bigger and better than any one person could possibly do or be.
Just for today...
"Too often my memory has given me sadness, bringing back past hurt and shame. But now I can use my memory to see the progress I have made and to know the joy of gratitude." Courage to Change (p. 262)
I've got no plans for today until about 5:00pm. Actually, I'm writing my blog at the same time that I normally do, and I'm drinking my coffee made the same way that I normally do. My newspaper will arrive about the same time that it normally does and my Apple watch will gently remind me that I'll need to stay active to close my stand-move-exercise goals. I'll check my financial investments and likely make at least one change; then, I'll walk around our property picking up limbs and noticing changes. I'm interim fasting so I expect that I'll greatly enjoy my lunch again today. I've a to-do list sitting next to my recliner that lists projects that I may choose to work on - I looked at it and now plan to change my health-care plan today which'll take one-to-two hours. I'll greet my spouse with love when she walks into the main room and we'll enjoy each other's company. There's time to work out and enjoy my relationships within this day - with God and with others: close friends, neighbors, acquaintances, and people I've never met before.
What, within my power, might I change now that'd have the greatest impact on both me and others? For me it'd be more fully resting within my relationship with God in Christ - freely meeting with God today in prayer - centering in on fundamental truths. Honestly assessing myself with my heart praising the glory of God. Living hopefully with all peace and joy (Romans 15:13).
The only church in town will be a place where all people, in almost every stage of life, will be welcome. There'll be customs, rules, habits and expectations that'll be agreed to; yet, they'll not be a burden - they'll provide a good environment and point them towards the good life safe in Christ.
Just for today...
"I had to find a positive behavior to replace the fretting. Today if I catch myself worrying, I write down my specific fears, no matter how preposterous they may seem. Once I get them out of my mind and fix them on paper, I ask God to show me which ones are real and which are imagined." Hope for Today (p. 261)
"I do have a power, a God-given one, and that is power over my own mind, emotions and reactions. If I exercise that power wisely, the problems outside of me will work out without my interference." One Day at a Time (p. 261)
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now - when?" Rabbi Hillel (Pirkei Avot 1:14)
"Pirkei Avot, which translates to English as Chapters of the Fathers, is a compilation of the ethical teachings and maxims from Rabbinic Jewish tradition. It is part of didactic Jewish ethical literature. Because of its contents, the name is sometimes given as Ethics of the Fathers." Wikipedia
I'm tagging along with my mother as she shopped at the Fareway Grocery store. She wasn't one to quickly fulfill our wants so we walked past the bins of penny candy without discussion. One day, I willed to stuff a piece of candy into my pocket. I saw the mirrors on the walls and knew that there was a risk that I'd be caught - I just did it. I must have been sweating when I waited in the checkout line - I know that I fretted over the decision for days or longer. I don't know how I resolved the moral dilemma - maybe I never did.
How does a 4-year old boy resist?
I can remember this theft over sixty years later so it must have been an important "incident" on my mental record of who I am. Am I good or bad? Did I return it and toss it back into the bin? Did I offer to pay the one cent? Did I confess the sin and ask for forgiveness? Did I try to do more good stuff to outweigh my failure? Did I just push my misdeed out of my consciousness and stuff it within the recesses of my mind?
I believe that this incident occurred before I accepted an invitation to trust God's great work in Christ for the forgiveness of my sin. Being right with God empowered me to walk more humbly and rightly with Him. What might I've done had I stole the candy after I accepted God's provision for my sin? Would I have confessed this known sin in my prayers, thanked Him for forgiving me for my sin through Christ, and restored the most important relationship that sin separates? I do know that God knows our hearts better than we do and that no man is good - scripture says so. His will works out with or without me. I'm so thankful that God loves me in Christ - I'm walking through life with Him. Man that's good news.
The only church in town will be the place where you can hear the real good news. It's a place to worship God together. It's a place to learn about Him, His revealed Word, us, the future, and true love too. It's a place to develop the relationships that seem to be a big part of the recipe for your "good" life. No need to fear and worry that fear into a bad reality.
Why not trust God and actually live out a good-to-great life within His will? If that's your will, then why not engage in that only church in town?
Just for today...
"They plead the worst case scenario in a very convincing way, until it almost seems frivolous to consider a positive outcome. Yet the loudest voice is not necessarily the truest." Courage to Change (p. 260)
"Let me not force my own certainties on others. I could be wrong. A generous tolerance can smooth out many rough places in my day-to-day living." One Day at a Time (p. 260)
"When somebody engages you in an emotional interaction that's fueling painful reactions - drop the rope - quit playing the game of tug of war." I remember hearing this advice and contemplating the potential value. Refuse to play in arguments and emotional bondage exchanges - drop the rope and diffuse the virtual tug of war. I applied this wisdom for a few weeks and I was surprised how often I'd been falling into the trap of debating opinions and arguing against another person's perspective, life view, or opinion. Alternatively, I could demonstrate respect for the other person by listening to and seeking to understand them - I didn't have to agree or disagree with them. I could show love and respect for me while allowing them to be who they were too - a better way to begin a relationship that might help both parties actually grow.
Three Mile island - Reactor meltdown
Even if you believe you won the argument, the old adage remains: "Convince me against my will and I will be of the same opinion still." People within the only church in town will frequently be at different stages of their life - I hope that they'd meet patience and grace along the way.
Just for today...
"Some of us have a constant drive to do something about everything that happens, everything that someone says to us . . . When I react, I put the control of my peace of mind in the hand of others." One Day at a Time (p. 259)
"Nothing is good or bad, it is thinking that makes it so." William Shakespeare
"You're going to have foot surgery on both of your feet? That's great, you'll be in a wheelchair and bring light on all the handicap access limitations within our facilities. Why not do the wheelchair option and indirectly help others along the way." I accepted the surgery one foot at a time - traded the concept of a wheelchair with the reality of crutches. My struggles with my crutches did require me to receive help, and possibly love, from other people; but, I didn't expose the handicap limitations that some hoped I would.
I remember standing in the snow, on my crutches, trying to work the card reader, with my bag dangling from my shoulder, attempting to open the entry door - I couldn't do it. I had to wait for another early bird to arrive and open it for me. I couldn't do this on my own and needed the help. The experience was real good for me - it was teaching me to be both less self reliant and to receive kindness from others too. Strangely, these painful life lessons were good and I was "lucky" enough to repeat the process twice.
So, I believe the painful experience was actually of great value like a pearl; yet, I want to avoid similar pain today. Okay, that doesn't make sense - I will to remain thankful for life within all circumstances today. I stand in thankfulness for God's provision for today, tomorrow, and for all eternity - that's a good place to be.
People, who choose to live their life out within the only church in town, would recognize the value of all life experiences worked out within the will of God. They'll enjoy relationships with others whom they can express and receive loving kindness along the way. They'll recognize God's provision for those who accept His love and our His - "abba" father!
Just for today...
"The lessons were too painful - I would get excited about something, only to have my hopes shattered. As time passed and hope diminished, I fell deeper into despair. Eventually I shut down my feelings and refused to care or to hope for anything at all . . . It is risky to care - I may be disappointed. But in trying to protect myself from pain, I could cut myself off from the many delights that life has to offer. I will live more fully today." Courage to Change (p. 258)
The surgeon showed me my spinal x-ray. "Your spondylolisthesis between your L4 and L5 vertebrae is pinching that bundle of nerves which is causing pain in both your back and your lower extremities. The surgery will align the two with metal rods and the impingements will be removed - of course their are risks." My life wasn't doable, I opted for the surgery, there were complications that I suffered through, yet the eventual outcome was positive - my fears were alleviated.
spondylolisthesis - From Wikipedia
I don't characterize myself as a fearful person, yet there are things I fear. The sum of my fears seem to fit within the following seven categories:
Changes within the "game of life" requiring adaptation
Living outside the will of God
Loneliness
Loss of loving relationships
Loss of security for me and those I love
Prison - loss of freedom
Rejection
The only church in town will shine the light of God's revealed Word on our reality. The causes of our fear may remain yet solutions are attenable and available within the "Light."
Just for today...
"God grant me the wisdom to recognize the faults I am building into a wall, such a wall as cannot be penetrated even by love." One Day at a Time (p. 257)
"Why does a dog bark? I feel terror when I'm on the receiving end of ferocious barking. I suspect that a dog barks because of his own fear. If the dog really wanted to attack, he'd dispense with the barking and lunge for me." Hope for Today (p. 257)
Bill approved my attending an AMA, American Management Association, new manager seminar in Chicago. I wanted to be and do my best in my new manager role. What new tools and methods might I learn? I left the seminar with a small book that included phrases that could be inserted into performance appraisals if you couldn't think of the right message - I don't remember actually using the book yet it felt good to have it on hand.
I wish that a mentor would've noticed my tendency to get into other people's business. Sure my intentions were good - I wanted to "help" them to be that "better" more "capable" person that I imagined they could be. When they had personal trouble, I tended to delve into their lives to "better" understand their situation, offer advise, and even to become involved in their work in order to "help" them along. It seemed that I was hoping for a sort of co-dependent relationship where they valued my part in their "growth."
Thankfully I had a high performing, capable, person reporting to me who was going through a personal situation that was significantly affecting his work. My efforts to intervene, with good intentions, were not working. A wiser, and more experienced, manager called me out on my "coddling," intrusive, and "Christian like" intervention. "You aren't helping him, you're enabling him to stay as he is and fail. Hold him accountable for the results, be available if he needs support, and get out of his way." The new approach worked and I changed my "management" style thereafter. I adopted a pattern of giving each person the dignity; respect; necessary support; and freedom to fulfill their roles, responsibilities, and assignments - it was good, reasonable, more natural, and better results followed. Some were not successful and moved on to a job or organization that was a better fit.
I wish I'd have adapted some of those principles within my personal life too. I eventually did, yet it took years for me to habitually offer most people the dignity and respect to be the unique person that they were without my "good intentioned" interference, "designed by me" to help them be who I thought they "oughta" be. I was acting like a little god - ugh.
The only church in town would allow people to more honestly live out their lives starting with where they actually are. Healthy relationships would be available to help them work out their lives alongside other people according to righteous principles and truth. It seems to take people a lotta time to grow - much longer than you'd ever expected. The only church in town would be a patient, loving, and respectful environment where God's will is witnessed within reality.
Just for today...
"She is getting unconscious satisfaction from managing other people's lives, while she imagines her intentions are only good . . . Heaven protect me from my good friends who, with only the best intentions, keep the wounds of my resentment open, weaken me by their pity, an justify my complaints." One Day at a Time (p. 256)
"Acceptance does not mean submission to a degrading situation. It means accepting the fact of a situation, then deciding what we will do about it . . . I will give myself time to accept my situation before I act." Courage to Change (p. 256)
.jpg)
