The story...
We were sitting on the porch talking about two mutual friends. One of that pair had delivered clear feedback to the other, and even set up a new personal boundary, in order to protect their friendship. My friend commented that friends do give specific personal feedback when they have to: "that's what friends do." The next day I delivered specific personal feedback to that same friend - they reacted negatively and defensively - it was difficult to deliver the one-time feedback in a way that was received let alone acknowledged. The exchange was difficult, uncomfortable; yet, I think it worked out for the best.
Maybe good friends tell their friend their perceived truth once - not nagging or trying to persuade. Should friends focus on the relationship and not on reforming or reframing each others minds or souls? I think my friends have the space to share their mind and soul, as they will to, yet we respect each other's "space." I'm okay with my friends just as they are - that's a strong foundation to build on and to grow too. We grow together.
The only church in town would be a place where people might find truer friends who they can grow together with. Everyone would have at least one "good" friend to walk side by side with along their journey towards that celestial city.
Just for today...
"Smugness is the very worst sin of all, I believe. It is difficult for a shaft of light to pierce the armor of self-righteousness. Many of the things I thought I did unselfishly turned out to be pure rationalizations to get my own way about something." One Day at a Time (p. 270)
"At our wedding ceremony, the minister said, '... and the two shall become one,' and we did, 'We' became 'him.'" Hope for Today (p. 270)
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