October 19th - Want to be Self Actualized?

The story...

Fourteen other men attended the meeting.  We were all focused on a topic that was important to each of us.  As group leaders, we'd later facilitate similar discussions within our own groups. There were expectations that we'd engage in conversation to learn from each other as we prepared for leading our own groups.  Before, I often felt a strong desire to share what was on my mind.  Noble motives for my self focus included: edifying others; redirecting conversation to my concepts of the most important; identifying logical, practical or factual flaws; or to model "good" group member behavior.

That day; I listened more and recorded helpful learnings and observations that worked their way into my own group's topical conversation.  I didn't speak up as much and felt peaceful and content within the full meeting.  It was like my self was quietly riding in the back seat and that the real me, trusting God, was upfront driving the car.  I was content and thankful alongside compadres.

Self seems to want to be: proud, accepted, admired; and the focus of attention - even at the expense of others.  My self seems to be a competitor.  He wants to expand what is his with hopes of being safer, more secure, and admired by others - indispensable.  Self tends to live in an imaginary world where he's the main character - the most important.  Kinda like a little "god."  Ugh...

Maslow's hierarchy of five needs suggests that each self's goal is to be self actualized.  It assumes that everyone wants to be a winner.  Human history seems to read as a long saga of pain and anguish fueled by selfish selves warring against each other while trying to fulfill their grandiose view of self.  Self aims to be elevated to a higher level - a little "god."  Do we all crave this type of illusive self love?

Maslow's hierarchy of needs with an additional level?

The only church in town will preach what God has revealed about who He is and who we are as His creatures.  How to be free from the tyrannical rule of self will be shared.  They'll learn to love themselves because of who they've become in Christ - right with God. 

Just for today...

"I need to distinguish between giving out of love and giving to please others in order to gain their attention or approval."   Hope for Today  (p. 293)

"Struggling and worrying didn't help me to solve my problem. Doing my part and trusting God with the rest did."   Courage to Change (p. 293)

"I will not allow my imagination to build small troubles into big ones. I will try to see each situation clearly, and give it only the value and attention it deserves."  One Day at a Time (p. 294)

"Self wants; Love gives - Love received; Pays forward."    Am I a Poet?

October 18th - Choose Contentment

The story...

While reflecting on my condition, contentment seems to characterize much of my later life.  I'm more loved and able to love others.  My physical needs are met; although, I do move through periods of suffering.  There's nothing that I strongly desire that I believe would significantly improve my condition.  Long-term hopes have been realized in unexpected good ways.  And, I don't seem to have expectations, or opinions, regarding other people's behavior - they don't need to act according to my will.  I've been trusting God for what's next.

I'm retired and physically able to go and do the majority of things that I need or want to do. I chose to grow with close friends who walk side-by-side with me.  I've a working faith that trusts God and His promises.  Fruit seems to be born from my faith walk - Spiritually operational.

One day my life will be otherwise - two rotator cuff full tears required surgery and a really long recovery in 2025.  I've witnessed people, in similar "content" situations, experience bouts of suffering.  Their pain either improved their lives and faith or eroded them into a shadowy resemblance of who they hoped to be.  Some gave up much with a gloomy perspective that life just ain't fair.  If you're suffering, I recommend the 31-page book: Suffering - Eternity Makes a Difference.

The only church in town will be a place where people can experience hope, friendships, love and the presence of God within it all.  It's a place where you can honestly live out each stage of life - suffering too.  It sure beats living in an imaginary world concocted to pretend that every thing is "groovy" when it ain't.  Why not discover more about the good and lasting promises and presence of God?

Just for today...

"We may even think we have overcome resentment, self-righteousness and self-pity, but if they are still there inside us, they will in some mysterious way emanate from us and deny what we try to cover up by our play-acting."    Courage to Change (p. 292)

Trip, P. (2001) Suffering - Eternity Makes a Difference

"Acting group; Looking good - Seem best; Doing should."
"Light exposes; Actors shriek - God disbands; Him to seek."   Am I a Poet?

October 17th - Unrequested opinions are criticism?

The story...

I planned an experimental day and willed to identify when, or if, I offered unrequested opinions.  The number of opinions that I've maintained seems to have diminished over the years.  Yes, I believe I've fewer ideas regarding what others should be or do.  The experiment was testing the degree that I might be overstating the change.  I drew an "O" on my left thumb to remind me of the random experiment checkpoints.  Was I airing unwanted opinions? 

I tested, forgot, told another person, tried again, forgot, told another person, and tried again.  The concentrated effort to measure, my level of opinionating, didn't last.  Yet, I've witnessed fewer personal opinions from me.  This less-opinionated life seems to be part of my conception of the good life that seems to build community engagement and enjoyment too.

The only church in town will offer space for people to grow together as they walk side-by-side towards the "Celestial City" - living and walking humbly with God in the Light of His Word.  Our sanctification process is good, real, and seems to be best worked out with and through others.

Just for today...

"Tuned in; Alert to - Beyond horizon; What's new?"
"Back there; Whose to say - Lessons learned; We're okay."
"Wonderfully different; Human power - Let 'em be; Bloom and flower."   Am I a Poet?

October 16th - Am I worthy of love and tenderness?

The story...

A friend of mind mocked what I was doing one day - they alluded to my way of living as kind of trivial or unimportant.  Maybe they were: comparing their life to mine, wanting something more from me, or acting out a habit of putting me in my place so that they might feel okayer.  I needed friendship-love; but, I was hit with chisels and sandpaper - biting, rough, dusty, and uncomfortable.

What do I do about it?  Do I let them know how being marginalized feels?  Do I treat them similarly?  Do I set up new boundaries to prevent future corrosion and hurt?  Or, do I first treat me with the love, respect and tenderness that I don't often receive from others?   I'd rather actually be okay, in the light of day, with who I truly am - know and value me.

I hope that everybody attending the only church in town will feel okay, loved, and supported within the Body of Christ. Why?  The group is gifted with what we need.  If your mom wasn't gifted to be nurturing, you'll fill find nurturing mom's who are empowered and freer to love.  Your mom will be free to exercise and give her gifts too. 

We're okay when we trust what the Son of God did on our behalf.  Our self-willed attempts to be good and accepted by others are powerless.  He's risen from the dead and seated at the right-hand of God making intercession for those who trust in Him and His GREAT work.  He says that belief/trust/faith in the atoning work of the Lamb of God positions us with Him.  I'm safe, sound, and empowered in Christ.

Just for today...

"When I treat myself with love and tenderness, I am better able to deal with the challenges that life presents. I have a chance to feel good, even surrounded by crisis."  Courage to Change (p. 290)

"Your reflection; Ain't from me - Your prodigy; Won't be."
"Mold and shape; To no avail - "Helping" ideas; Truly assail."
"Try to act ; Can I be? - Christ saved ; Truly me."     Am I a Poet?

October 15th - Elusive loving relationships?

The story...

A female friend shared an intimate truth with me that betrayed the trust of one of her close friends.  They must have shared their impropriety with their friend because thereafter they avoided me - I assume they both experienced embarrassment.  I actually shared the issue with a pastor to better understand how he'd successfully dealt with situations like this - my plan was to follow his lead to resolve the relationship breakdown.  Due to the intricacies of the problem, we didn't come up with a good way to resolve it and the relationship breakdown remained for about two months.  Yesterday, I saw them at church standing together, I took a risk and gave the one who shared the story a side hug and hung on.  The embarrassment seemed to melt away immediately and the situation was resolved between the three of us with much relief and smiles - I expect that we all were freed up from a sort of dark cloud that affected us all.

The only church in town would read, in the book of Genesis, the story of all people being cursed with a sin nature.  These selfish people emotionally and physically hurt each other.  They often move toward isolation as opposed to working together and demonstrating the kinds of love that we secretly crave. This sin nature resists both the giving and receiving of love.  More importantly, unresolved sin creates a barrier between God and us.  We seem left on our own trying to "do" the best we know how.

That only church would preach the good news of how God resolved our relationship barrier through the death, burial, and resurrection of our Lord Jesus the Christ - He paid the death penalty for our sin.  His resurrection proves both who He is and that we can expect resurrection too.  Through faith in the great work of Christ, our sin issue is resolved and we can walk through life humbly and honestly with God in Christ.  Man, that's good news!

Just for today...

"It seemed as though I was ricocheting off two walls, one marked 'inactive' and the other marked 'reactive.'  . . .  Impulsiveness can be as much a trap as immobility."  Hope for Today (p. 289)

"I think of forgiveness as a scissors, I use it to cut the stings of resentment that bind me to a problem or a past hurt . . . By letting go, I detach and forgive. When my thoughts are full of bitterness, fear, self-pity, and dreams of revenge, there is little room for love or for the quiet voice of guidance within me."  Courage to Change (p; 289)

"Run away; Courage wains - Lost adrift; Swirling pains."
"Kind touch; Sees me - Loved by His; Freed to be."    Am I a Poet?

October 14th - Feelings - Stuff 'em up or look at 'em in the light?

The story...

Oh... I wish I'd have acknowledged my strong feelings, paused, and decided how to best respond to that situation.  The way I reacted was true to my feelings but clearly the wrong thing to do.  In other situations, I wish I'd have been attentive to my feelings and garnered the courage to speak what wasn't said - I often recognize that needed-unspoken message ten minutes to a few hours later.  "Why didn't I speak up or why did I say that?"

Does the Spirit of God stir up our feelings or press on our mind/soul to act according to His will?  When we're right with God, I expect that there's a flow from His Spirit channeled through our lives like a calm river that flows, smooth, and deep.

The Saint Lawrence Seaway - steady and deep.

The Saint Lawrence Seaway is a series of locks, canals, and channels that allows ships to float from the Atlantic to as far as Duluth, MN.  In 1959, A hydropower project, a series of electricity producing dams, increased the depth to enable big ships to navigate the route.   The "river" is up to 250' feet deep in some places.  The project required cooperation between Canada and the United States.  It runs deep and generates power.

Might the only church in town be a bit like the Saint Lawrence Seaway?   Deep flowing waters generating power - Christ-ones cooperating to channel and work out the power of God in actualities?

Just for today...

"We soon discover that our willingness to help others has an immediate and beneficent reaction on us . . . The giver is only a channel for the gifts he has received from God. He cannot hoard or withhold them without blocking the channel."  One Day at a Time (p. 288)

"Much of what I find wrong in my life is related to my opinions - that is, my prejudices, assumptions, self-righteousness stances, and attitudes . . . Reality proves me wrong. I also revert to the idea that ignoring my feelings is practical, even desirable . . . It is no easy task to change the thinking of a lifetime, even when I am sure that I want to change."  Courage to Change (p. 288)

"Felt 'em true, Whatta they mean? - Super senses; Shadows unseen."
"Super hero?; Power to wield? - Consider validity; Mostly concealed."
"Situational power; Decide what's true - Sensory power; Better you."    Am I a Poet?

October 13th - Being who you are or who they want you to be?

The story...

There's a guy I knew who experienced health changes that resulted in him being less inhibited and less likely to behave within accepted group-norm boundaries.  I looked forward to his more interesting, vibrant, and refreshing group shares.  He honestly broke the rules - you didn't know what he'd say next.  He spontaneously spoke from his heart.  He seemed to bypass the filters that most of us have refined throughout the years by adapting to group behavior norms.  The group enforces those rules either subtly or directly.

We seem more fun as ourselves rather than acting out our assigned group role.  I expect a group matures more when members act more naturally rather than "try" to conform to the idealized "best" role.  This idea may support casual, rather than formal, dress within community.  Certainly  there are times when its best to agree to be better version of ourselves for the good of us all.  Formal dress does suggest the group's desire to act and behave according to a standard that might be more desirable and honorable.  "If everybody would just _____ everything would be fine - just like it use to be."

The only church in town would teach about the Body of Christ and the expected uniqueness of each of the members.  Like a body, there are mouths, ears, little-toes, knees, hair follicles, and eyes - each uniquely equipped to serve their role.  The body will not function as designed unless each part behaves as designed - we all can't be like the mouth (1 Cor. 12:12-27).  The family would frequently remind each other of this mystical union that's facilitated and empowered by the Spirit of God - God working out His will amongst and through community.   We can actually enjoy each part of the body.

Just for today...

"Did this behavior get me what I wanted or encourage me to feel good about myself?  When I took a good look, I realized that the answer to the question was 'No.'  Loud, angry words and actions demonstrated my frustration and pushed away all hope for peaceful solutions to my problems . . . Easy does it."  Courage to Change (p. 287)

"Eyes off me; I see you - We need us; Need you too."
"Abide in Him; Safely sound - Be as one; Love abound."   Am I a Poet?

October 12th - It was for freedom...

The story...

I resented the implication that the problem with the situation seemed to be centered around me.  My actions seemed just and righteous - I intended to "help" solve the problem.  They seemed to be wrongly complacent by following down a path that "might" lead them to a place where "I" didn't think that "they" wanted to go.  They clearly weren't capable of living their own lives well - why?

It's easy to recognize the faults of my family members yet those faults are often true about me too.  We share the same gene pool, grew up in a similar environment, and learned from each other along the way.  Why couldn't I focus on being okay with the person that I was, and wanted to be, and allow them the same freedom too?  I expect that we were co-dependent on each other.  Maybe we misunderstood the life coping skill of co-dependency as love?

It was for freedom that Christ set us free (Galatians 5:1).  The only church in town would proclaim the freedom we can have from the tyrannical ruler "self."   They'll also share scripture's path of walking humbly with God, side-by-side with other sojourners, towards our eternal destiny.

Just for today...

"I had to unlearn a lot of romantic nonsense in order to find a satisfying  life in the here-and-now . . .  My security cannot be based on learning 'the rules,' because once I learn them they change. With God's help, I will find some security in being exactly where I am today."  Courage to Change (p. 286)

"Sometimes what I perceive as a threat is something I've conjured up in my own mind . . . I've learned to distinguish between real and imagined threats. I've learned to recognize and respect others' boundaries. I'm also able to discern when it's wiser for me to remain open to someone I love and trust even when I want to close up out of fear."  Hope for Today (p. 286)

"Set of rules; "Storge" confine - Safely normal; Bitter wine."
"Break the rules; Righteous rebellion - Push loudly; Little hellion."
"Another way?; Can it be? - Creator did; Gifted by HE!"
"Sin barrier broken; He loves me - Okay I am; Free to be."    Am I a Poet?

October 11th - Wisdom: Knowing where to go and how to get there

The story...

The Just for today... quotes contain pearls of  personal wisdom that were shared from three souls who lived them out in reality.  I've benefited much from others like them - you have the opportunity to receive too.  Most of my knowledge, and wisdom too, seems to have come from others rather than garnered from my own experiences, thoughts, imagination, and ideas.

My favorite definition for wisdom is: "knowing where to go and how to get there."  I first heard this definition in my 30's and I've retained it into my 60's - It's sufficed.  It feels like my own though I heard it from another.  I heard the definition of God as "That than which their is no greater" - It's sufficed.  My framework, world view, or model of truth has been received and developed over a lifetime.  But, reality speaks truth and "rocks my boat."  The truth helps me more honestly and rightly view history, life, and future possibilities too.  Often these realizations occur while walking side-by-side with my close friends and through reflection on the truth that God's revealed to us.

Amen means truly.  People within the only church in town will often say "amen" when they hear the proclamation of what God says is true.  It's a good thing to freely walk in the reality of the love of God in Christ.

 "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free" (Galatians 5:1)

Just for today...

"Each of us has the right and the obligation to make our own decisions. It is character-destroying to usurp that right."   One Day at a Time (p. 285)

"But sometimes my thirst for knowledge can be an attempt to exercise power where I am powerless."  Courage to Change (p. 285)

"...years of isolating myself had left me with scars that couldn't heal overnight. I suffered from low self-esteem, impaired social skills, and lack of self knowledge, to name a few."  Hope for Today (p. 285)

"Imagine here; Truth bent there - Lose yer way; Going where?"
"Plug yer ears; Simmer the stew - Awaken to God; Life's brand new."   Am I a Poet?

October 10th - Decide what's your part - trust God with the rest

The story...

An issue jumps into my conscious mind from who knows where.  It nudges me to ponder it before stuffing it back into a corner - hope it'll be forgotten.  It's kind of like how I used my basement ping-pong table - a staging area for stuff that I was currently working on or hadn't yet decided if and where to store.  Some might best be dispositioned to a charity for people who actually need them.  Others may be restored and placed where they can be found.  The clutter "takes its toll."

Some of the issues that I don't trust God with become worries that only cause me and others strife.  I'm capable of ruminating and imagining these worries into possible realities that'll never see the light of day.  If I worry, I'll likely suffer similar consequences to those that I actually fear.  Worse yet, my efforts to fix, manage, and control the situation is often doomed due to my limited capabilities, resources, and understanding of what might be.  

The only church in town will work out their lives abiding with God in Christ, believing His revealed Word, and trusting Him with the results.  Yet, church activities might look even messier than my ping-pong table.  But, they'll allow for the bright light of God's revealed truth on that messy table.  They'll decide what stays in play, what's rebuilt or improved, what gets put away, what's given away, what's repurposed, and what's discarded.

What's on your ping-pong-table?

Just for today...

"Without faith in a power greater than myself, I am like a storm-tossed ship without a rudder. I am flung from one trouble to another; however bravely I may battle the elements, my own strength and wisdom are not enough."  One Day at a Time (p. 284)

"...when I'm feeling insane, I'm forgetting my powerlessness and trying to control outcomes or other people . . . I try to get my own way."  Hope for Today (p. 284)

"I can't make life unfold according to my plans, I can admit my powerlessness and turn to God for help."  Courage to Change (p. 284)

"Unsettled mind; Wounded heart - Misplaced love; Grown apart."
"Stop trying; Trust God's Word - Off entanglements; Cut da cord."
"True light; Heart sees - Truly loved; Wonder-filled free."   Am I a Poet?

October 9th - Do and trust God with the rest

The story...

I received an all-group e-mail that encouraged me to better participate in this years group meetings by attending less preoccupied.  They suggested the following method to better prepare for group activities:

"Get out a piece of paper and write down everything on your mind. Write down anxieties, distractions, expectations of the evening, plans for tomorrow, and anything else consuming your thoughts. Getting our mind-clutter out and onto the page frees us to focus on one another."

Since I was planning on attending a meeting that evening, I intentionally identified the things that were weighing on my mind.  If I "dropped" them, might I: more freely focus on others; receive their messages more clearly; reflect more deeply; and be more sensitive to the Spirit of God too?  Instead of writing each one down, I went out to my drive way and shot free-throws.  

First, I identified what was true about the situation.  Second, I acknowledged my part.  Third, I voiced my responsibility.  Fourth, I decided what related actions to take.  And finally, I trusted God to work out the rest in the truly best way according to His will.  The whole process seemed right, fruitful, and a good lifelong habit.  As you might expect, I participated in the meeting in a more attentive, balanced, and supportive way - more engaged.

The only church in town will focus on the reality of God's will and presence in creation, history, the "now," our lives, and the future too.  If God wills something to be done then it'll be done.  Yet, if He is going to work His will out through us, we must be rightly related to Him.  That's where I want to stay.

Just for today...

"I use my intellect instead of my emotions before responding. I detach from the person or situation until I can calm down and think rationally."   Hope for Today (p. 283)

"I'm willing to stop fighting reality, to stop trying to do God's part, and to do my own . . . I am free to live my own life, safe in the knowledge that God is taking care of the world, my loved ones, and myself."  Courage to Change (p. 286)

"...confuse not the business of others with your own."  One Day at a Time (p. 283)

"Toted a burden; Hurt and blame - Shoulders sagged; Guilt and shame."
"Christ bore sin; I am freed - We walk tall; God and me."   Am I a Poet?

October 8th - A limited vantage point

The story.,,

My best friend and I were sitting behind home plate at our son's baseball game.  The female umpire was making some questionable calls - I made a few critiques to my friend that I hope the umpire didn't hear.  Then the big slide occurred at home plate.  Coaches from both teams thought they had the better vantage point and argued for their positions.  People were either right or wrong and nobody wanted to be wrong.  The umpire cried...

I knew both of the coaches and was surprised to hear how differently they perceived the same situation.  It was like we saw different events at home plate - our conclusions were different too.  

Later, the baseball organization held a meeting to review the altercation(s).  I assume that witnesses told them what they perceived to have happened - maybe the umpire and coaches were provided an opportunity to tell "their side of the story."  They decided that my son's coach was no longer allowed to coach in the league - he made the umpire cry.

Do we have a comprehensive view or vantage over any situation that we participate in or witness?  Our perspectives are based on how we view life, our past experiences, our bias, our personality, our perspectives, our feelings, the power of God worked out, the need to agree with or please other people . . . the list seems endless.

The only church in town will study and trust the book where God reveals His perspective of us and history.  God's Word says that there is a spiritual reality in life's situations.  King David described what he perceived to be God's work in delivering him from his enemies in Psalm 18 - David was writing about the most important reality that was unobserved by most of the scene's participants.  David paints a picture, in song, of what was actually going on.  Yes, I hope you'll find out more of what's "really going on" within the only church in town.

Just for today...

"I see that miracles frequently touch my life. Maybe they always have, but I didn't see them."  Courage to Change (p. 282)

"We may magnify disagreements about money for instance; we expand minor slights into huge grievances. Without realizing it, we're looking for trouble and are ready to fasten on little things that we could easily pass over if we really wanted our own peace of mind."  One Day at a Time (p. 282)

"Saw 'em; Felt it - Knew some; Filled gaps."
"Told story; Listened some - Opined away; Built walls."   Am I a Poet?

October 7th - Engage in life and be

The story...

The movie Top Gun asked the lead character "Maverick" to engage in life for the benefit of himself; his team; the Navy; and for his country too.  The circumstances of life were changing as he lost his best co-pilot friend who trusted him.  He even rejected the woman who risked loving him the best she could.

He says "Jesus Christ," albeit flippantly, in dismay as he faces the enemy, failures, and community rejection.  He reengages, drops his stinking thinking, and defeats the enemy using his God-given talents.  He becomes the man he could be - victory won.

Movie - Top Gun - "Engage Maverick!"

There'll be many reasons to disengage from the imperfect only church in town.  Stay engaged!  Self can relentlessly hold you back from loving: you; other people; and the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength.  Engage in the good life God created you for.  It is for freedom that Christ set you free.

Just for today...

"The invitation to live life fully is offered to me each day. I can accept the pace of change today, knowing it will bring both times of active involvement and periods of quiet waiting. I will let surprises of the day open up before me."  Courage to Change (p. 281)

"Scratching itches; Festers wounds - Trusting God; Frees souls."
"Loved and loving; Men build - Men of God; Move mountains."    Am I a Poet?

October 6th - Life traveling better or worse ?

The story...

Sometimes, the group member who wants their idea of the "best" can restrain a group from moving forward towards real growth.  Yes, I was that idealist that often critiqued the motives and adequacy of significant change proposals - wanting the very best, knowing that change was necessary; yet, putting on the brakes while trying to persuade others to see, know and feel as I did.  I expect that my input  to the group was needed; but, my insistence on my "higher ways" filtered my ears, mind and heart.  I wish that I'd sought to understand different viewpoints, ideas, and perspectives before attempting to "sell" my ideal version of "the" best way forward - the "right" way to go.

A friend of mine, Henry Hudson, claimed to read Pilgrim's Progress every year.  I'm about to finish the book once again - each time it's more meaningful as I imagine the reality that this allegory paints.  Oh... that I might rely on, and more fully trust, God as I turn each corner.

The only church in town will know that we're all on a journey.  It's a mistake to camp too long in one place along the way.  As the story of "life" progresses, God prunes those who are His so that they produce, and enjoy, more fruit together.  That kind of fruit is shared and witnesses to their source.  Fruit born and enjoyed, shines His Light into the dark crannies of our lives - stuff looks differently in Light.

Just for today...

"Opportunities for spiritual growth, as well as new character defects, pop up like weeds in a newly-mown lawn . . . My problem was my spiritual pride and arrogance, not my situation. The need to be right was robbing me of my serenity in all kinds of situations."   Courage to Change (p. 280)

"Sojourning with You; Brightly wired - Walking alone; Old and tired."
"Eyes on the prize; Loving along - God in us; Builds all-strong."   Am I a Poet?

October 5th - Do Eeyores have to be Eeyores?

The story...

We've seen others isolate themselves after extended periods of rejection - not receiving the love they needed - they seem to've given up.  They may appear as an Eeyore or not appear at all.

Maybe they looked for love in all the wrong places.  Or, maybe they expected that all their love needs should've been met by their parents or that illusive life-long partner.

Looking for love in all the wrong places.

I hope that the only church in town will be the community where they engage in life - experiencing the giving and receiving of love.  What will be that source of strength and love?   They'll have the book that offers really "good news."  They might just learn about, and hopefully experience, "The" source within the only church in town.  "Ain't that good news . . . man ain't that news."

Just for today...

"I did choose to give my younger brother things I wanted myself in order to win his love. I did decide to shut off my feelings from my family . . . I had to look at why I chose to become involved with unavailable people . . . My choices reflect my opinion of a relationship with myself."  Hope for Today (p. 278)

"I have a choice about where to focus my attention. I'm challenged to find positive qualities in myself, my circumstances, and other human beings . . . It may be difficult to break a long-established pattern of depression, doom-sayings, and complaining, but it's worth the effort."  Courage to Change (p. 278)

"Looked for good; In the crowd - Found egos; Wounded proud."
"Met Christ ones; Livin new - Knowing God?; Truly true."    Am I a Poet?

October 4th - Are "we" better than "me?"

The story...

I walked into the T-Group at a NTL Human Interaction Laboratory in Bethel, Maine.  My V.P. of H.R. recommended that I attend this week-long experience that he personally found transformational.  This was the first session and nobody was talking - we all just sat there.  I guessed who the leader(s) were yet they said nothing.  A few people were so uncomfortable that they spoke up, asked questions, and even tried to start their own meeting activity - the group shut each of these would-be leaders down in order.  The agitation, uncomfortableness, and negative group dynamics grew.  It got better and better as the week progressed - for everybody.

The week was transformational for me - I left more accepting of me and more thankful for the group.  We learned, experienced, and worked out being a more fully-functioning human being within community - experiencing the value of working and living together.  Yes, I was a better person having experienced this Human Interaction Laboratory - I learned and grew with and through other people.

1990's training binder on group dynamics

Even after all of the courses, experiences, successes and failures, I still find group dynamics challenging, rewarding, and discouraging too.  Yet, working out life together, through relationships and community, are worthy and seem to be an important part of the "good" life.

"We" may not be more capable in some things than me; yet, we are likely more complete, capable, and fulfilled.  The fear of group rejection, not fitting in, still looms in the background.  What if they ... ?  The risk of group rejection reminds me of the following scene where Forest Gump defends Jenny during a Black Panther meeting - not fitting in.

Forest Gump's fight ruins the Black Panther party?

The only church in town will grow people, friendships, groups and community within the Light of God's truth about who He, they, we, and I am.  It'll be a great place to live, grow, and be - working out life together where really good news is heard and shared.  A place where people learn to love, be loved and suffer together too - just as we were created to be?

Just for today...

"The change in me will be reflected in every person whose life touches mine."  One Day at a Time (p. 278)

"I've learned to live with, put up with, and tolerate many things. I wanted to change but was afraid to try for fear of the unknown . . . I finally tore the wallpaper down."  Hope for Today (p. 278)

"I realized that it was my own fear and shame, and not the embarrassing details of my problems, that kept me at a distance."  Courage to Change (p. 278)

"Thinkin big; Knowing true - Peace with God; Livin anew."
"He works; We abide - In Him; We shall reside."      Am I a Poet?

October 3rd - Self awareness and feelings

The story...

"Why did I do that? . . . Why do I make so many mistakes? . . . Why did I resist doing good? . . . Why am I unmotivated to act? . . . Why did they reject me? . . . Why didn't I fulfill my commitment? . . . Why didn't I speak up? . . . Why couldn't I keep quiet and listen? . . . Why can't I be like them?"   

Self awareness is a good thing - some say it's what makes us human.  Thinking about thinking allows us to grow, adapt, improve and even survive.  Yet, wrong self thinking can lead us into self-defeating spirals that take us down rat holes where precious life can be wasted or missed.

WSJ 09/09/23 (p. C1)

We're capable of dwelling on our feeling and adopting negative patterns.  Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey did a good job in their article, "The Power to Decide How You Feel," of describing how we might: be more aware of our thoughts and feelings; decide what's true about them; take action when needed; and disposition them for what they really are -  "...understanding that emotions are signals to your conscious brain that something is going on that requires your attention and action."  Feelings can be a wonderful sensing mechanism.   A self-aware mind can use them to: further understand reality; better act; and be.  "I am not this anger. It will not manage me or make my decisions for me."

The only church in town will shine the Light of God revealed truth regarding what's truly valuable and lasting - stuff we can't hold in our hands. 

Just for today...

"I will spend more time with myself in this lifetime than with anyone else. Let me learn to be the kind of person I would like to have as a friend."  Courage to Change (p. 277)

"I tried to manipulate and control everybody in my life to change the shape of their personalities to suit mine. I even attended workshops so I could make changes happen . . . Instead of spending time with people and situations where I don't fit, I can look for ones that I do."  Hope for Today (p. 277)

"Chronic stress often leads to maladaptive coping mechanisms in modern life. These include the misuse of drugs and alcohol, rumination on the sources of stress, self-harm, and self-blaming. These responses don't just fail to provide long-term relief they can further compound your problems through addiction, depression, and increased anxiety. What these coping techniques do is try to change the outside world - at least as you perceive it."  Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey, "The Power to Decide How You Feel" Wall Street Journal, 9/09-10/23 (p. C1).

"We didn't match; But we're okay - Found a friend; Day by day."
"Enjoying all; Friend to few - What I need; Livin true."   Am I a Poet?

October 2nd - Does your constitution justify "just doing it?"

The story...

The USA Supreme Court protects and interprets our constitution.  Who protects my constitution?  I guess it's me.  Should I just do it, think about it, or write in on my to-do list?  Some things must be planned while others may be acted on as a matter of habit or principle.  Within my constitution, can I, or should I, just do it?  I understand my constitution to be principles, or precedents, for how I manage my life - how I make decisions and act on them in accordance with who I am.  Take a look at a bookmark I crafted and laminated in the 1990s - it speaks to being versus doing.  

This purpose statement is helpful; yet, it doesn't seem to be a constitution for how I might make daily decisions.   The following are a few ideas about the choices that I expect to make today along with the principle(s) that seem to drive them.  Might this be a reasonable way to write my constitution as opposed to a lofty set of ideas that I merely want to be true about me?

Make and drink coffee - Live in a supportive environment - self-care.

Put on old-blue-button-down-collar shirt - Love in storge sort of way - self-care - self-respect.

Be kind to family and community.

Enjoy lunch with a best friend - Share and grow together.

Close Exercise ring on my Apple watch - Work toward goals - self-care.

Write in the blog - Clarify understanding "what's going on" and share too.

Tweak my investment choices - Plan and prepare for the future.

Prepare for group meeting - Learn, share and grow with other men.

Pray and meditate - "Be" actively present within my relationship with God in Christ.

Answer birthday wish visits and phone calls - Build kind, growing, and loving relationships.

Greet people on the bike path - Love and receive love.

Afternoon nap - Be kind to me.

Eat meals - Care for me and be happy.

Organize basement - Simplify for me and others too.

The only church in town will likely have a written purpose statement and constitution.  I hope that each member of this "called out group of people" would have their own constitution too and that the two would flow congruently.

Just for today...

"I felt afraid of doing the job incorrectly and being criticized, but I accepted it anyway. My fears were quelled because criticism never came . . . 'I can, I can, I can! And I do.'"  Hope for Today (p. 276)

"Eyes on home; Busy hands here - Abide in Christ; No fear."
"Senses veiled; For a time - Then we'll see; Wonderfully Thine."      Am I a Poet?

October 1st - Do you know what I want or need?

The story...

"Oooooh  If she knew what she wants

(He'd be giving it to her)  If she knew what she needs

(He could give her that too)  If she knew what she wants

(But he can't see through her)  If she knew what she wants

He'd be giving it to her  Giving it to her

But she wants everything  (He can pretend to give her everything)

Or there's nothing she wants  (She don't want to sort it out)

He's crazy for this girl  (But she don't know what she's looking for)

If she knew what she wants  He'd be giving it to her

Giving it to her  I'd say her values are corrupted

But she's open to change  Then one day she's satisfied

And the next I'll find her crying  And it's nothing she can explain

If she knew what she wants  (He'd be giving it to her)

If she knew what she needs  (He could give her that too)

If she knew what she wants  (But he can't see through her)

If she knew what she wants  He'd be giving it to her

Giving it to her (giving it to her)  Some have a style

That they work hard to refine  So they walk a crooked line

But she won't understand  Why anyone would have to try

To walk a line when they could fly  No sense thinking I could rehabilitate her

When she's fine, fine, fine  She's got so many ideas traveling around in her head

She doesn't need nothing from mine  If she knew what she wants

(He'd be giving it to her)  If she knew what she needs

(He could give her that too)  If she knew what she wants

(But he can't see through her)  If she knew what she wants

He'd be giving it to her  Giving it to her

But she wants everything  (He can pretend to give her everything)

Or there's nothing she wants  (She don't want to sort it out)

He's crazy for this girl  (But she don't know what she's looking for)

If she knew what she wants  He'd be giving it to her

Giving it to her  (He'd be giving it to her)

(He could give her that too)  (But he can't see through her)

Ooooooh  Giving it to her  Giving it to her now."

Susanna Hoffs and the Bangles: "If she knew what she wants."

We'll find people within the only church in town who're trusting God to meet essential needs and to bless too.  We too might trust God and bear real fruit - the kind of stuff we all need.  For now, I desire His Will and want to be okay in Christ - praise God.

Just for today...

"When we bring things out into the light, they lose their power over us."  Courage to Change (p. 275)

"Few of us know what we really want, and none of us knows what is best for us. That knowledge remains, in spite of all our determined resistance, in the hands of God."  Hope for Today (p. 275)

"... when we are strong we are always much greater than the things that happen to us, and the soul of a man who has found himself is like a deep sea in which there may be many fish: but they never come up out of the sea, and not one of them is big enough to trouble its placid surface. His "being" is far greater than anything he feels or does."   Thomas Merton, No Man Is an Island (p. 125)

"He enters; Life leaps - In Christ; For keeps."   Am I a Poet?

September 30th - Imagining God's Word or what I might worry into existence?

The story...

I silently sang songs from a "Young Life" song book one morning.  I seemed to wander into an imaginary trip of: past experiences, feelings, and glimpses of what might be true for us.

Maybe I imagined more when I was young - before the reality of the middle chapters of life were written.  The future was unknown then; yet, I question how much I do remember of what actually happened.  My perspectives were limited.  There was much I didn't perceive with by my five senses.

I can only imagine

The only church in town will work out life within community - one that trusts God's revelations.  A community that's enlightened by His Word.  As we imagine realities that are only partially witnessed, we're able to experience glimpses of so much more.  "I can only imagine..."

Just for today...

"This day is all I have to work with. The past is over and tomorrow is out of reach."  Courage to Change (p. 274)

"Worry ahead; Sad behind - Forget now; Self malign."
"Be present; Honest take - Righteously stand; Future remake."    Am I a Poet?

September 29th - A listening experiment

The story...

One day while writing this blog, I willed to listen better.  I planned an experiment to test if I could will to: more fully listen to others; better understand them; and apply what I learned.  I put myself out there in the presence of other people and engaged in more balanced conversation.  

Later that morning, I received some news that changed my experiment.   I expect that I was kind and listened well; yet, that wasn't my focus.  The trivial was forgotten in light of the new news - paying attention came naturally.  I couldn't resist listening to the reality of life - my ears were wide open.

People living together within the only church in town will drift less frequently into an imaginary reality when focused on the light of God's Word.  They'll tend to actually care for, and be interested in, other people.  Yes, this is a place where there're things that you'll want to listen to - the truth about Him, us, and the revealed future.  Do you want to be with or without Him?

Just for today...

"What I learn from negative comments can be useful in opening my mind to my own wrong thinking."  One Day at a Time (p. 273)

"It is the disease of not listening . . . that I am troubled with."  William Shakespeare

September 28th - What might I've learned if I was a monk?

The story...

I read a quote from Thomas Merton's book that surprised me - it rang true to my previous learnings, knowledge, experiences, and possibly my spirit too.  I suspected these things were true; yet, I hadn't put the pieces together before.  "No Man Is an Island," was an impactful book that helped my better understand life's journey.  Thomas seemed to've put the important pieces of life together before I was born.  I'm so thankful that he shared his life walk with God in a way that I could receive, understand, apply to me, and to live out more fully too.

I read another book that summarized Merton's life up to the point of his entering the life of a monk in a Kentucky monastery.  I hope that we all seek to better understand who we are as we work out our life story.  Seems like part of a good life is sharing and growing alongside fellow sojourners.  I expect that we'd learn we need each other.

The only church in town will be a place where we can meet others who want to work out their life in the reality of God's revealed Word.  We can share our lives together and become a more complete whole -  a community.

Just for today...

"... when we are strong we are always much greater than the things that happen to us, and the soul of a man who has found himself is like a deep sea in which there may be many fish: but they never come up out of the sea, and not one of them is big enough to trouble its placid surface. His "being" is far greater than anything he feels or does."  

"The deep secrecy of my own being is often hidden from me by my own estimate of what I am. My idea of what I am is falsified by my admiration for what I do . . . We all seek to imitate one another's imagined greatness.  If I do not know who I am, it is because I think I am the sort of person everyone around me wants to be."

Thomas Merton, No Man Is an Island (p. 125)

September 27th - Worth fretting over?

The story...

The virus symptoms lasted for 2.5 weeks.  Since it persisted past the two-week limit, I decided to call my primary-care doctor.  He likely wouldn't be able to identify the virus - he might've prescribed an anti-viral drug to boost my immune system.  Since I had only a basic understanding of immune systems, I listened to three related YouTube introductory videos.  I learned principals that helped me appreciate my body more and to identify behaviors and misunderstandings that may have hindered me.

He listened to my symptoms and physically inspected me - an intern with him also repeated some of the checks.  He asked for two blood samples to both check my immune system and to search for wasted muscle - he'd an idea of what it might be yet didn't tell me.  My blood was drawn at 3:30pm 9/01/2023.

Four days later, I was hoping to get the blood test results.  These data were to help my doctor prescribe a course of action to better my body and the life I live through it.  I speculated much over those three days -  I knew in part yet I'd likely know more in a few hours.

The virus continued on, I visited my primary physician once again and he asked for more blood tests.  The specific virus was never really known - the symptoms faded a way over a few weeks.

Suffering will be found in the only church in town yet, it won't be their focus.  It may even be purposed for us to "bear" more fruit (John 15:1-12).  The church body will focus on the truth of God's good news and the blessings from living out each day in the "Light" of truth and the presence of God.

Just for today...

"If my life has become unmanageable, how can I get control of it? Am I being forced into doing things I don't want to do, like losing my temper, contriving, conniving and scheming to make things work out the way I want them?"  One Day at a Time (p. 271)

"If thou canst not make thyself such a one as thou wouldst, how canst thou expect to have another according to thy liking?"  Thomas Kempis - The Imitation of Christ

"If I knew what was coming, I suspect that I would spend all my time trying to run from painful experiences instead of living. I would miss out on so much great stuff." Courage to Change (p. 271)

"Suffering settled; Hung o'er me - No satisfaction; Turned to Thee."
"Needy and broken; Trusted Him for - Habits replaced; Heart loves more."   Am I a Poet?

September 26th - There's me, us, and you - me is me, we are we, and you are you.

The story...

We were sitting on the porch talking about two mutual friends.  One of that pair had delivered clear feedback to the other, and even set up a new personal boundary, in order to protect their friendship. My friend commented that friends do give specific personal feedback when they have to: "that's what friends do."  The next day I delivered specific personal feedback to that same friend - they reacted negatively and defensively - it was difficult to deliver the one-time feedback in a way that was received let alone acknowledged.  The exchange was difficult, uncomfortable; yet, I think it worked out best.

Maybe good friends tell their friend their perceived truth once  - not nagging or trying to persuade.  Should friends focus on the relationship and not on reforming or reframing each others minds or souls?  I think my friends have the space to share their mind and soul, as they will to, while we respect each other's "space."  I'm okay with my friends just as they are - that's a strong foundation to build on and to grow from too.  We grow together.

The only church in town would be a place where people might find truer friends who they can grow together with.  Everyone would have at least one "good" friend to walk side by side with along their journey towards that celestial city.

Just for today...

"Smugness is the very worst sin of all, I believe. It is difficult for a shaft of light to pierce the armor of self-righteousness. Many of the things I thought I did unselfishly turned out to be pure rationalizations to get my own way about something."  One Day at a Time (p. 270)

"At our wedding ceremony, the minister said, '... and the two shall become one,' and we did, 'We' became 'him.'"  Hope for Today (p. 270)

"Your soul's yours; Wonderfully you - My soul's mine; Respectfully true."
"We have stuff; Our bounded story - Built and tilled; To His glory."   Am I a Poet?