January 28th - How can you give $20 if it ain't in your pocket?

The story...

Once upon a time, I made an effort to be a more generous person.   When I saw people in need, I would have resources to help them.  It seemed reasonable to be prepared with USA currency in my wallet.  So, I began the habit of carrying four or five twenties for gifting.  My habit lasted for about a year - I didn't give away many $20 bills.  

Carrying the money didn't open my eyes, heart, and habits enough to recognize, decide and go through the process of doling out cash.   I did want to alleviate needs in a loving way; but, my efforts were clunky.  Maybe it was because my eyes primarily were focused on me - self?

Although that experiment didn't last, it did teach me more about myself and how I might better work out my life.  I believe that my heart is often good and that people, in general, know that I care about them.  Yet, I want to be more true to who I actually am.  

This reminded me of my blog's purpose:

Those who know me well might describe me as a life-long learner who values honesty and integrity. A story teller who loves working out his life with and through other people. As I progress through life, I continue to appreciate both my strengths and flaws. I know that I need to work out my life alongside other pilgrims in order to be a good actor in this epic story of life. Yet, the idea of being an actor is detestable. I wake up each day purposing to be the man I truly am. Oh... to work out every minute within God's will - bearing fruit.

The only church in town will help you work out you natural talents and gifts within community.  There, you will hear about the Spirit of Christ Who indwells His "believers."  He produces fruit within those who are His.  You can't work, or try, to muster up that kind of fruit through your own efforts.  Yet, you can truly bear His fruit of: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-in a way that will be unique to the person you were created to be.  That's the good stuff in life that I expect we'll all hunger for after our first taste.

Just for today...

"I cannot give to anyone else something I don't have. I learn to love myself enough to seek my own healing.  When I can love myself as I am, I'm better able to accept the human limitations of all God's other children."  Hope for Today (p. 28)

"Wanna help; I don't see - God's got this; Maybe thru me."    Am I a Poet?