December 13th - Being thankful

The story...

I grew up in a small USA town with two parents, four siblings, needs taken care of, regular involvement in a church, vacations away from home, a learning environment, and expectations of graduating from high school and moving on to college to become whoever I wanted to be.  Wow ... what was there to complain about?  Well, there was always somebody glorying themselves and making it hard for others to be heard or seen.  We were polishing, displaying and proclaiming the glory of our attributes that we imagined to be true. - ongoing attempts to glorify self.

As I ponder eternity past, eternity future, and an expectation of living but one life on this earth; each breath is an amazing reality.  I'm so thankful that God provided the solution to that self-absorbing darkness that seems to drift around and through people.  

The only church in town might share a video like "There's a Dragon in my Nativity."  They'll share the story of when our Lord and Savior Jesus the Christ came to His earth to redeem us from the darkness that's incompatible with Holy God.  Our Creator and Sustainer is obviously worthy of glory and praise.  The congregation will share a better more fruitful way to live out their life and eternity in Christ  - man... that's really good news!.

Just for today...

"At no point in my life will I achieve perfection; there will never be a time when I will not need the joy and satisfaction of helping others."  One Day at a Time (p. 348)

"What would happen if I started thanking God when problems occurred?  At first I had to force myself to say 'Thank you, God,' through clenched teeth. By and by, my teeth unlocked and I replaced self-pity with gratitude. I truly began to live."  Courage to Change (p. 348)

"Fog drifts in; Darkly murky - Veer offtrack; Lonely lost."
"Preacher's light; Shining truth - God saves; Christ's abode."   Am I a Poet?

December 12th - Love yourself to more fully love others

The story...

Did I need to perform to be loved?  I didn't seem to match the "ideal" person that "we" wanted to be.  And, it seemed my parents were pushing me toward something better than what I was capable of being or best suited for.  I wanted to be loved but close relationships remained elusive.

Growing up, I was smarter than the average kid.  My dad had a respectful job and my needs were met.  We had a bigger boat and newer car than most. They took us on vacations - four states away and to Canada too.  They volunteered and supported our boy scouts and girl scouts activities.  They taught us to be thrifty and capable. They made sure we went to church and were prepared for college.  They did their parenting job well.  My inner man wanted to love and be loved.  Not merely do and receive loving actions; but, to actually love and be loved.  Does love like that require the intervention of God?

The only church in town will be a place where people learn to love themselves gracefully as God loves us through Christ.  These loved people will be more capable and free to love others within graceful relationships.  People will learn the grace that's the undeserved favor of God.  The indwelling Spirit of God will testify of this wonderful loving truth.. 

Just for today...

"How great is the human need for a scapegoat, someone or something to blame for our disappointments . . . at least part of my unhappiness is due to the way I reacted . . . nothing can work damage to me except myself.'"  One Day at a Time (p. 347)

"I had to deal with my old resentments . . . It took discipline and courage to stop pushing every adult away . . . I can love them for who they are, instead of who I think they should be."  Courage to Change (p. 347)

"I wasn't really aware of myself . . .When I learned to love the person I found - myself - I started to perceive and love myriad qualities in the people around me."  Hope for Today (p. 347)

"She smiled; We laughed - The touch; Melding hearts."
"Must keep; Pretend lover - Fades away; Under cover."   Am I a Poet?

December 11th - Seasons for places and things

The story...

People invested much of their lives building, improving, and sustaining that manufacturing plant.  They learned their first job after practice and soon became an integral part of the team.  They learned how to do some maintenance and later were able to diagnose what was likely wrong.  They campaigned for, and helped install, that new machine that would help them produce more product with accuracy and precision.  They wore their plant logo on their hat and their association with that plant formed much of their identity.  "I've worked at the _____ plant at company A for X years."  It was s part of who they were.

Then the decision came to shut down the plant.  They'd heard the rumors before; but, the decision came as a shock.  Hadn't they done everything they were asked to do?  Wasn't their life investment valued?  What do they mean when they say that our plant was no longer competitive?  Whose responsible?

The manufacturing plant was a tool for producing products that customers wanted and needed.  It was a tool, purchased with borrowed capital $, to produce a return on their investment.  Leaders of the company were responsible for investing the limited capital funds to both pay their debts and to reward the owners and workers.  Capitalism does incent change and growth - change and growth can be hard for many of us humans.

The only church in town will have people who'll want to "do church" just as their parents did.  They'll want things to be as they remembered - something they can count on.  They'll be excited about new movements like "Promise Keepers" was in the 1990s - it was wonderful and right in it's time and place.  The Aim remains the same even though the places, processes, and ways of doing stuff must change. 

Just for today...

"Since there are difficulties with which I must live, the only real answer is to seek the serenity to accept the things I cannot change . . .  Money won't buy serenity; in fact, I'd probably have a whole new set of problems and decisions if a fortune ever did fall into my lap."  Courage to Change (p. 346)

"Change happened; Problems arose - Repaired anew; Fixed and Controlled."
"Weary soul; Peace offered - Doubtfully saw; Faith given."     Am I a Poet?

December 10th - Get it together - together

The story...

"I can't believe that you vote like that. I thought you were a better person. How could you do that? Aren't you a Christian?"  Yes, I was shunned by a group for presenting positions, from the "other" party, with their "best foot forward."  My position was that "they" were working toward good and just principles even if their means for funding and implementing the changes may be perceived as idealistic, unsustainable or suboptimal. The part that stung was the not so subtle reference that I must not be a Christian if I was on the side of the other party - they were shunning me for offering respect and understanding.  I ended up at the group's governing board challenging others to stand up and support their opinion that people from the other party were errant, naive, and wayward - needing correction.  No one stood up - a moment of reckoning.  I didn't hear anyone speak like that for a season; yet, the groupthink and judgement of "the other guys," crept back in.  I guess it's part of the human nature and another example of the undermining force of "groupthink."

It seems good that government would stay true to it's constitution, standardize what works, and be slow to change the things that work for so many.  Even so, they might run change experiments to test new ideas.  It's hard, if not impossible, to know all of the implications of a change to a system in advance.  They'd try change plans out before institutionalizing them.  They'd plan the change, do the change on a small scale, check for effectiveness, and standardized the parts that worked - make them an integral part of the new system.  Wouldn't it be good for both parties to honestly test how the other guy's most-promising ideas? 

The only church in town will have much leeway within the boundaries of God's revealed Word.  They'll keep "first things first" and work out their faith in honest and faithful ways.  They'll recognize all men as born sinners who fall short of the glory of God.  Faith in Christ's redeeming work transforms them into a new creature who's able to commune with God in the present - born again.  Surely, we continue to live in the world with bodies that tempt us to live self-satisfying lives; yet, our prayer and communing with God "can" restore us to that best working condition of being in Christ.

Just for today...

"Where in the past I have allowed unacceptable behavior . . . Today I have the courage and faith to be true to myself, whether or not others like or agree with me."  Courage to Change (p. 345)

"Let me observe, with new interest even the commonplace things that happen in each new day."  One Day at a Time (p. 345)

"We're better; Either's less - Try it on; May fit us."   Am I a Poet?

December 9th - Good when loved and loving

The story...

I've often discussed and pontificated on what both the good life is and how it might be obtained.  Why not "try" to work out our good-life code each day?  The list of reasons, why not to try, is long and not so distinguished: contrary feelings, secret hopes, distant relationships, jealousy, security needs, broken body, haunting memories, thoughts of grandeur, whimsical fantasies, failings of others, the next new thing, boredom, laziness, discouragement...  I've come to terms with the idea that I'm not naturally good - I need intervention in order to be the "good" man whom I've enjoyed being with on occasions. 

So, when do I find myself good?  I'm good when I'm loved and loving.  But, we don't seem lovable by nature.  Is love truly a gift from God?  The power to actually love indwells those who walk rightly and humbly with Him in Christ.  Scripture led me to know that I could lovingly abide in Him despite my inborn-selfish nature.

The only church in town will proclaim that we're lovable by God, ourselves, and others when we're positioned with, and related to, the Son of Man, our Lord and Savior, Jesus the Christ, the Messiah.  He alone can save us from the tyrannical rule of self.  Scripture says our sinful nature separates us from our most Holy God.  He actually paid the death penalty for sin on our behalf - I'm declared redeemed and righteous in Christ!

Just for today...

"Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing."  Albert Schweitzer

"I'm selfish; Sadly blue - Wanna love; Be true."
"Failed trying; Heard Thee - Trusted Him; Live free."    Am I a Poet?

December 8th - "I thought you wanted to be an Uber driver?"

The story...

A friend of mine took on an Uber-driver job to earn some extra cash.  He earned cash and expanded his knowledge of people and possibilities.  The job seemed to develop a propensity toward more doing rather than pontificating and opinionating.  His personal growth from serving and respectfully communicating with a large variety of people seem to help in a transformation.  Based on his success, I asked the Uber drivers who served me if they experienced similar benefits - they all did.  So, I willed to do the same during my retirement years.

The job seemed to be a good fit for me - talking with, caring for, and learning from others.  The job seemed to support my values: humility, service, respect, kindness...  I'd the time available and enjoy being with people.  If a friend asked me to drive them somewhere, I think I'd be pleased to.  So, I decided to do it; but, my car wasn't a good fit.  So, I ordered a new Ford Maverick hybrid as a first step.  Strangely, the demand being far greater than supply resulted in my waiting about two years for my small pickup truck.  With the truck, my excuse for doing nothing was gone.

In 2023, I asked friends of mine if they thought that it would be a good idea for me to buy a "gaming" computer - I offered my justification.  All of them said that it seemed like a good idea, with caution, and only one challenged me: "This sounds like you might be isolating during that computer gaming time, I thought you were planning to serve and grow, in a humble way, as an Uber driver."  What a good friend - I'm thankful for good friends.  I planned to Uber drive beginning March 2024 - it didn't happen.  What might've been?

The only church in town will offer: "the" good reason to live, the Way to abide in Christ, friendship opportunities, and ways to work out our faith within community.  Why not engage in your church community now?  Or, do you want to remain, "as is," with that lingering thought: "What might've been?"

Just for today...

"Am I heaping up resentments, excuses, and regrets that have the potential to destroy me?  I don't have to be buried under them before I address my own problems. I can begin today."   Courage to Change (p. 343)

"Teflon man; Nothin sticks - Got excuses; Stay away."
"Felt love; Light ray - Word believed; In Him."    Am I a Poet?

December 7th - Are you seeking pleasure?

The story...

I've tried to feel better by eating more, imagining a better place in time, replacing the old with the new, or merely exercising towards an Apple-watch goal.  You likely have similar whims that you'd add to your list.

Watch this YouTube video at your own risk - ain't giving you the link

When I'm seeking pleasure to make me feel better, I know my relationship with God isn't right - "trouble" has crept into my life once again.  I sense those disquieting feeling as I kneel down to pray in quiet meditation.  These inordinate desires melt away and I begin again to experience love joy, peace patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self control anew - fruit of the Spirit of God.

The only church in town will preach, teach, and work out God's Way for living the good life.  They won't suggest self-actualization or pleasure seeking.  Walking honestly and humbly with your righteous God is the best way to live.  An inherently unrighteous man, like me, can't live a good life out on his own.  We must be positioned with Him in Christ by the power of God. 

Just for today...

"I used to think that being good to myself meant eating whatever I wanted, buying anything that caught my eye, sleeping only a few hours a night, and avoiding any activities that weren't fun or exciting. The trouble was that consequences were very uncomfortable, and when I let myself think about it, I felt I was wasting my life."  Courage to Change (p. 342)

"Speak your truth quietly and clearly; listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they, too, have their story."  One Day at a Time (p. 342)

"Serenity is the sure knowledge of God's unconditional love for me. It is an acceptance of myself that flows from God's approving embrace."  Hope for Today (p. 342)

"Be happy; Why be sad? - Whose ta blame; If yer bad?"
"Eroding hearts; Soul's lost - Christ redeemed; Bore the cost."   Am I a Poet?

December 6th - Sense emotions without reacting

The story...

They made a rude and self-centered verbal attack on the character of a person who I deeply cared for.  Multiple emotions rushed into my mind.  I reacted quickly by cutting down the speaker with sharp and hurtful words - my message couldn't be ignored and our relationship was damaged.  The exchange may have been justified but the relationship damage was hurtful and painful for both of us.  An emotionally intelligent person may have used the conversation as a means to more subtly allow the other person to see their actions and perspective more clearly and deal with them in their own way - saving face.

I've heard it said that our emotions will last about 90 seconds if we don't feed them.  If that's true, then within 90 seconds we can choose to either: ignore the feeling, pretend it isn't real, evaluate it rationally, equate it with another feeling, choose to remember it for later reference, react positively or negatively to it, or begin the recurring process of obsessively thinking about it.  Oh... how many hours I've painfully wasted obsessively thinking about a relationships gone bad.

Might we put each emotions out in the light of day and examine them in the present?  We gotta manage them quickly if unfed emotions last less than 90 seconds.  Often, I'm surprised at an important reality they'll expose.  Like a hidden pearl, awareness of an underlying truth can be an unexpected gift.  A benefactor may've endeavored to teach me to be more emotionally intelligent - my need must've been obvious to some.  Maybe they thought I needed to be "broken" first - to grow up on my own.

The only church in town will contain wise and capable mentors who trust God.  They'll be able to meet us where we are and relate to our position and condition as it more truly is.  They'll care because of the grace bestowed upon them by "That Than Which There is No Greater" in Christ - gracefully.

Just for today...

"Anger can give me an illusion of power. For a little while I may feel I have control over my situation and over other people, but that kind of false security always lets me down."  Courage to Change (p. 341)

"He needs much help who thinks he can compel others to do what seems right to him."  One Day at a Time (p. 341)

"Righteous anger; Spews hate - Heard pause; Love sate."   Am I a Poet?

December 5th - Who understands my heart but God?

The story...

My parents brought me to Sunday school for about ten years.  Neighbors brought me to summer-bible camp, after I accepted Christ as my savior, when I was about eight.  I actively read the four gospels after a period of brokenness in 1980.   In 1981, I actively engaged in bible study with Bill Job's "ekklesia" in Oak Ridge, TN.  I'm so thankful for all of my teachers, mentors, co-sojourners, and friends along my faith-building journey.  One key learning was that God knows our hearts - the condition of our hearts makes all the difference.

"But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God does not see as man sees, since man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”   1 Samuel 16:7 (NASB)

"And Jesus, perceiving their thoughts, said, 'Why are you thinking evil in your hearts?'"  Matthew 9:4 (NASB)

"For who among people knows the thoughts of a person except the spirit of the person that is in him? So also the thoughts of God no one knows, except the Spirit of God."  1 Corinthians 2:11 (NASB)

I am so thankful for my faith and the opportunities that I've been given to share the realities of my faith with others.  I especially appreciated the nine years where I served as both a 3rd-4th and 4th-5th grade Sunday-school teacher.  And, I currently appreciate my close friends in-Christ while leading a group of faithful men within Bible Study Fellowship (BSF).

Bible cover gift from my 3rd-5th grade class

The only church in town will lead people to accept God's gracefully given gift of redemption - the Way for our hearts to be reconciled with God.  They'll read that our hearts are seen by God as white as snow due to Christ's redeeming payment for our sin debt.  Yes, they'll share the good news that our righteous God cleanses us from our sin-death penalty through the sacrifice of His Son, my Lord and Savior Jesus the Christ.  He knows me with a cleansed heart - praise God!

Just for today...

"I was sure there had to be somebody in this world who would understand my every mood, always have time for me, and bring a smile to my face . . . my fantasy showed itself to be no more than a shadow. Reality presented a different picture entirely . . . What was I doing with their love? It seemed to me I was brushing it aside for that one imaginary person, or worse, not noticing it all."   Courage to Change (p. 340)

"If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, 'thank you,' that would suffice."  Meister Eckhart

"Were the challenges and losses in my life actually gifts God had chosen carefully for me so that I might grow spiritually? I knew it to be so, and I felt simultaneously humbled and overwhelmed with gratitude for the nature of God's love for me."  Hope for Today (p. 340)

"Preacher extols; Bent and broken - Thank you Lord; Light has woken."   Am I a Poet?

December 4th - Value feelings without control

The story...

In my college cafeteria, I picked up my banana split and threw it across the table at a "friend" - they wouldn't stop throwing peas at it.  I witnessed my best friend yell at a fast-food window because "they" were "making us" late.  I threw the phone across the room and it smashed into the fireplace.  I insisted that the group fish the way that I thought best even though the group didn't want to.  I picked up my toys and I went home.  A person who I cared about was acting irrationally and I didn't pause to think why.  I wonder if my life would've been less difficult and more fulfilling if I'd better understood and considered our emotions - to be more emotional intelligent. 

Colman A (2008) described Emotional intelligence (EI) as "the ability to perceive, use, understand, manage, and handle emotions. People with high emotional intelligence can recognize their own emotions and those of others, use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior, discern between different feelings and label them appropriately, and adjust emotions to adapt to environments."  Emotions sound like a power that a "Super Hero" might have.  To ignore them, pretend they don't exist, treat them as unwanted noise, or react to them without thinking, seems foolish and irrational.

I expect that Boy Scouts had to be emotionally intelligent in order to follow their oath.  "A Scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent."  Yeah, I was a Boy Scout and wanted to be like that then - I still do today.

The only church in town will be a group of people with the same "North Star" guiding them - faith in God and His provision for us His creatures - now and forever.  They'll have different resources, capabilities, backgrounds, personalities, emotional intelligence...   But, their sins will cause hurt and pain - the "grit" will erode and scar relationships.  Our emotions will confirm the presence of both sin and love.  Sin's presence might lead the group to receive God's grace, love, and mercy with great joy.

Just for today...

"I am a wealth of contradictions. I can value all of my feelings without allowing them to dictate my actions. Today I can feel anger toward someone and still love them. I can feel afraid of new experiences, yet move forward toward them. I can survive being hurt without giving up on love. And I can experience sadness and still be confident that I will be happy again."  Courage to Change (p. 339)

"Deep sadness; Hour or so - Saw it come; Let it go."
"Felt hurt; Taught me - Inner truth; Let me see."    Am I a Poet?

December 3rd - Who cares for those outside control or influence?

The story...

Life's taught me that I don't know what's best in many or most situations. The best is often applying something that seemed to work well in similar situations.  It's especially likely that I'll choose a suboptimal course of action if it: involves something that I'm comfortable with; allows me to apply a skill that I've developed; if it uses the tool(s) at hand; brings positive attention towards myself; pleasures me; or is consistent with my limited knowledge.  Actually, I think that I'm a good decision maker.  Yet, I'm prone to make biased-suboptimal decisions while hoping for a cloudy picture of what the best future might hold.

I once taught a graduate class on forecasting with mathematical models.  It involved identifying causal and non-causal data related to key outcomes, weighting historical data, measuring trends, discovering seasonality, and the testing of these time-series models with both historical and current reality.  There was always the underlying concern that these data were not recorded accurately or precise enough.  A good model's helpful for planning within varying: environments, materials, Geopolitics, competitors, and the actual behavior of the people involved.  Sometimes it seems difficult, if not impossible, to do "good" enough.  Our omniscient God knows - but I, his creature, do not - "A man's got to know his limitations."

Most of us believe that a virtuous life is better than a non-virtuous one; but, we might stray and vary between season and conditions.  I value honesty and integrity while others plan on lying as necessary in an effort to achieve a more favorable outcome.  Insecurity can cause us to live cautiously within ever-changing environments.  Situations and related decision making is rarely black-and-white - our situations are often cloudier and greyer with spots of sunshine peaking through.

God's trustworthy and He cares for each of those who trust in His big-loving hands.  This you'll hear within the only church in town.  We can trust Him for the stuff that's outside our control and influence.  When trusting God, we're more likely to live out a restful, peaceful, and hopeful life.   A life that appreciates the past, lives in the present, and trusts God for the future.  It's a wonderful thing to walk through this life, and eternity, within the favor of God - in Christ.  You can fellowship with your Creator and Father now.

Just for today...

"I found it relatively easy to make a decision to turn over my will and my life to God. However, I didn't have any idea how to actually do it."  Hope for Today (p. 338) 

"Speculating on other people's attitudes and motives is a waste of time and effort. To search out the reasons for my own is a voyage of discovery!"  One Day at a Time (p. 338)

"Meditation is higher spiritual awareness . . . a quiet place . . . beyond my thoughts . . . attention on the present day only, leaving the past and the future alone."   Courage to Change (p. 338)

"Will control; Not so much - Influential push; Fell down."
"Chaos pressed, Peace lost  - God held; Big hands."   Am I a Poet?

December 2nd - What I wanted from dad came from . . .

The story...

I'm told that my motives for much of what I've done, and thought, came from a desire to please, or even be like, my father.   I discovered that this was at least partially true after my dad passed away.  For example, I discovered I no longer had a desire to fish.   Fishing seemed purposeless without sharing the "best" experiences with my dad.  He seemed to like hearing those stories and freely express positive emotions directed toward me.  Yes, the fishing and story telling were part of my ongoing search for his love and approval.  In truth,  people weren't capable of fully meeting my needs.  I even bought this shirt mainly because it looked like one I remembered him wearing - I didn't wear it..

Like many, I've enjoyed much of Bruce Springsteen's music since my college years.  His songs resonated with some life experiences - deep down in my soul I felt his albums "Born to Run" and "Nebraska."  I was surprised to hear that much of what he did was an effort to be like his dad and to win his approval.  You can hear the music, drama, and story worked out in his Netflix NYC play "Springsteen on Broadway."  He tried to return to his roots but it wasn't the same.

My dad was my first idea of who God must be like.  Sadly, he was merely a good man with strengths and weaknesses.   I was discouraged when I discovered his flaws and didn't receive the love and acceptance that I longed for.  Did I deserve his love?  I was placing my hopes in the wrong place.  I am thankful for the other people who introduced me to my Lord and Savior - Jesus the Christ.  I am so... thankful that people in Christ worked out their love by sharing their faith and hope in our Father our Creator.

Come to the only church in town and learn about the Way.  If you know the Way, then might you share the reality of your Father in Christ with those who are lost?

Just for today...

"I was setting goals that others wanted me to achieve . . . My decisions were based on what others wanted so I could make them love and accept me . . . I thought if I said and did everything my parents wished, I would finally earn their love and attention."  Hope for Today (p. 337)

"Not one thing has ever improved as a result of my mental criticism. All it does is keep my mind on someone other than me . . . What would happen if I took my list of criticisms and applied it, gently, to myself?" Courage to Change (p. 337)

"Dad knew; He had - Acted like; Needed him."
"Disillusion fell; Looked out - God loved; Christ saved."   Am I a Poet?

December 1st - Caring for others "in secret?"

The story...

Is it helpful to keep our kind deeds or gifts secret?  Secrecy may prevent unhealthy attachments for our own sake or benefit.  In secret, we may better model our inward hopes sourced from within our hearts. It may enable experiencing the offering of love to another person - experienced grace.  Maybe it's an outward way to resist our central tendency to promote and protect self?  Maybe it'd feel right because its more intrinsically consistent with a good heart?

“1. Take care not to practice your righteousness in the sight of people, to be noticed by them; otherwise you have no reward with your Father who is in heaven. 2. So when you give to the poor, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, so that they will be praised by people. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. 3. But when you give to the poor, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4. so that your charitable giving will be in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you."  Matthew 6:1-4  (NASB)

Matthew exposes a selfish motive for giving and suggests an abnormal alternative.  This secret type of giving may be evidence of a good heart - one who doesn't need the approval of others.  At a minimum, it describes a heart that wants to walk right with God and their fellow man - loving our neighbors as ourselves.

The only church in town will proclaim God's truth and shine Light within a dark world.  Care will be offered from those in Christ.  People will grow to work out their lives with a more confident hope characterized by love and joy.  Graceful people will more naturally give in secret.  The love of God will be witnessed even though much of these internal realities will be hidden within guarded people who work out their lives within a dark world.

Just for today...

"Have I made progress in my effort to correct my faulty attitudes? Have I let discouragement plunge me back into my old habit patterns? When something I did had consequences that made life difficult for me, did I try to blame someone else?"  One Day at a Time (p. 336)

"I began to see that my way of caring often meant reacting and manipulating. I'd do something nice for someone because I wanted to be liked . . . Sometimes I wanted to attach myself and feed off someone mentally, emotionally, and spiritually . . . Sometimes what I call "love" is really just control."  Hope for Today (p. 336)

"Gifted surprise; Wonder why - Sense love; Wholly be."   Am I a Poet?

November 30th - Expecting less and freedom to grow

The story...

Each new class began with great expectations.  I imagined the best from the syllabi and believed the instructor's opening arguments and impassioned pleas.  I willed to diligently study, stay curious, apply truths, and be a better, more capable, version of me.  The instructor, me, and classmates could live up to my expectations.  My idealistic expectations were unrealistic - I expected too much from us all.

Might we expect less from others and appreciate actualities?  Many of our community problems seem rooted in our inordinate expectations for them and us.  God doesn't expect much from the old nature we were born with.  He revealed that we are only good when positioned with Him and He is the only being who can restore our relationship.  Yes, He provided the Way to erase the sin barrier between He and we. Might there be a place where we could appreciate life as it is, imagine veiled reality together, and allow each the freedom to grow as gifted together?  The only church in town would be that place.

Just for today...

"It's unrealistic to expect perfection from an imperfect being in an imperfect world. The only perfection I can hope to attain is to be perfectly imperfect."  Hope for Today (p. 335)

"Everyone who plays a part in our lives offers something we might learn. Other people can be our mirrors, reflecting our better or worse qualities. They can help us to work through conflicts from the past that were never resolved."  Courage for Change (p. 335)

"Expected much; Got different - Graceful eyes; Saw better."   Am I a Poet?

November 29th - Trying to control the uncontrollable?

The story...

The weather's going to vary.  We might try to control it by moving to a new spot on the globe; yet, it'll vary there too.  We can influence the weather we experience; but, do we really control it?  

We're better able to plan for weather variation in our homes.  We may look at the short-term forecast and  plan accordingly.  Many change their home's environment using: a thermostat with heat and cooling source(s);  a hygrometer to start up the humidifier or dehumidifier; or reported pollen counts to decide to filter the air or close the windows.  Some people don't like it the same way and want the weather within the house to vary too.  Settings are agreed to by compromise or directed by those with authority.  The weather never seems to be quite right.

We try to build homes that are sustainable under all reasonable weather expectations and don't require excessive effort to control them.  We may change the way we dress to better fit how we want to be.  Maybe we'll choose to work in the morning, go to either the air-conditioned mall or beach when it's hot; or travel during periods of weather that's not to our liking.  Maybe its better to accommodate the weather rather than judging it an attempting to control it.   Maybe we could minimize our opinions about the weather and appreciate the natural variation - that sounds good to me.  Yet, I'm going to heat, cool, and filter to adjust for the extremes that may disrupt my life.  I'll dress to accommodate the weather - go with the flow.

How about choosing to be thankful for each day's weather and refrain from judging it to be good or bad?  I'd like to live my life accommodating and appreciating variation.  That'd be better than working never-ending cycles of measuring, judging, controlling, and deeming it to be either good or bad.  And, I'd treat other community members in a similar way.  Engage in their lives and enjoy each other without trying to fix, manage, and control them according to what I expect is best for them.  They won't all be my friends; but, I intend to offer grace, mercy, love, and respect to each.

The only church in town will be thankful for the grace, forgiveness, and love that God pours out on us through our Lord Jesus the Christ.  Church people will work out a similar, albeit clunky, graceful heart within their relationships too - mirroring how God loves them.

Just for today...

"Being an adult was looking good on the outside and not feeling what was going on the inside . . . The first thing to go was the control over others - it simply doesn't work  . . .  Today I can risk being myself. I don't have to live up to anyone's image."  Courage to Change (p. 334)

"Today I can put the past where it belongs and focus on taking care of myself. I needn't wait for someone to do it for me."  Hope for Today (p. 334)

"This self-imposed struggle to control the uncontrollable is certainly not rational."  One Day at a Time (p. 334)

"There it is; Now it ain't - Bouncing along; Loosely free."
"Grab on; Hold fast - Steady now; It's gone."    Am I a Poet?

November 28th - Are you heard?

The story...

It's a special thing to be in a relationship where both: have similar aims and each other's best interest at heart; communicate honestly and respectfully; and are known and cared for.  When sharing is balanced, good friends grow together and enjoy each other's presence.  I'm so thankful for growing alongside close fiends.

I hope you enjoy these three friendship quotes from C.S. Lewis's book "The Four Loves."  I've listened, and enjoyed an audio version of this book at least a half-dozen times.

• “Friendship ... is born at the moment when one man says to another "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .”
  
  
• “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."
  
  
• “I have no duty to be anyone's Friend and no man in the world has a duty to be mine. No claims, no shadow of necessity. Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself (for God did not need to create). It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”

― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

The only church in town will be a group that contains many friends that make up a better whole.  They'll share a common aim, hope, and experience - together.  Each friendship is a good story within the epic saga of life.

Just for today...

"I lugged my childhood grudges into adulthood . . . All I really needed was to be heard. Then I could let go of some ugly feelings."  Hope for Today (p. 333)

"I will learn . . . to recognize my errors, to see the roadblocks of self-will and self-righteousness I have been putting in my way. Then I will no longer insist that a thing is impossible because I have been unable to accomplish it."  One Day at a Time (p. 333)

"Many of the things I had once thought of as virtues - taking care of everyone around me, worrying about other people's lives, sacrificing my own happiness and prosperity - turned out to be the causes of my misery!"  Courage to Change (p. 333)

"He refers to; I recall so - We scale walls; O'er solid footholds."
"Friendship session; Mutually strong - Liven and lovin; Can't be wrong."    Am I a Poet?

November 27th - Top-10 Reasons for Being Thankful

The story...

I'm so thankful to be thankful because I'm thankful.

My top-ten thankful reasons:

1. God's Word confirms my faith in Christ.
2. Each breath I breath - I'm alive.
3. My life partner promised to stick with and love me no matter what.
4. Family members whom engage in life with me.
5. Ability to receive, understand, store, recall and apply knowledge.
6. Close friends with whom I walk through life towards a common aim.
7. A warm, comfortable, safe home within the security of the USA.
8. Mobility to go where I want to go and care for myself.
9. Wise, "Yes," choices that help me grow and be.
10. Medical system that enables me to be active and relatively pain free.

The only church in town will teach, preach, and proclaim good reasons for being thankful.  In the community, some will find the comforts of this life out of reach.  Yet, their souls often sing with joy - faith worked our it reality.  Community living like this should've been in my top ten list - I wonder where I might've inserted it and what it would've replaced?

Just for today...

"If I so choose, I can regard everything that happens in my life as a gift from which I can learn and grow."  Courage to Change (p. 332)

"Chose a mate; Wanted 'em so - Different soul; Won't always go."
"Naively entered; The big deal - In forever; Courthouse seal."
"Wanted a pet; Got like me - Bouncing along; Lovin we."    Am I a Poet?

November 26th - Relationship Sweet Spots - Good Vibrations

The story...

Close relationships have been a very important part of my life - likely why this post took so many words to explain.  Relationships require an investment of my whole person for focused periods of time.  Here's the glue that seems to help them grow within my life walk:

• Who: similar personalities and journeys - ages from 35 younger to five older
• What: naturally balanced listening and sharing - share what is and may be
• Where: coffee shop, restaurant, church, or mail
• When: monthly person-to-person - convenient time of day - one to two+ hours
• Why:  honest life shares - giving & receiving - growing together
• How: sharing equally with few unrequested opinions - like a good game of tennis

How's a strong relationship like a good game of tennis?  You share equally and often like a tennis volley with an information-packet ball.  Each is respected or you won't continue to play.  You'll periodically meet at mutually agreeable times and courts.  You'll have similar expectations for volleying conversation.  You'll accommodate your partner's quirks and limitations.  You'll enjoy returning their shot from your racquet's sweet-spot at a similar energy levels.  The conversation will be invigorating as if you're fully both connected; yet, independent too.

Please don't turn the joyful relationship into a win-lose game like tennis may be.  I heard Maryland's football coach once say his team's "care factor" was excellent.  The "care factor" measure correlated closely with success.  Close friends would measure their relationships high on the care-factor scale.

The sweet-spot of the racquet is where the vibrations of the racquet cancel out and the forces are more fully transferred into the ball return.  Those vibrations are irritating, fatiguing and even harmful to our bodies.  Yes, a good conversation and a good tennis volley are similar.  We all know how fatiguing unwanted "vibes" between people can be.  Bad vibes aren't okay within a close relationship - they continually wear down, erode, and destroy relationships.

The only church in town will be one group with a kind of personality of it's own.  There'll be sub-groups that'll have their own personalities too.   Within these "purposed" groups you'll find opportunities to develop friendships with people more like you.  These relationships will be like honestly walking side-by-side through life.  Discussions will likely engage the mind, senses, feelings, inner-man, and spirit too.  When our journey strays off track, a friend can help us "wake up" and return to the better way.

We're blinded to spiritual reality when we focus on ourselves and ignore who we actually are as creatures - creatures created by a living and active God.  He's interested and powerfully working through our todays, tomorrows, and our eternal future too - He says so.  Experiencing a relationship with Him in Christ is like no other - "I'm with Him."

Just for today...

"... we don't tell anybody what to do. People only accept and use advice they're ready for . . . When I am asked for advice, I know only what I would do if I were faced with the same problem, and not what would be right for another."  One Day at a Time (p. 331)

"I learned to trust no one, to stay silent at all costs, to stuff my feelings, never to stand up for myself, to take on more responsibility than I could handle, to love conditionally, and to tell white lies to cover up my home life. No wonder as an adult I perceived that close interpersonal relationships were like constantly moving targets.  Usually I was the one who was moving because I lacked the skills to develop and maintain healthy adult relationships."  Hope for Today (p. 331)

"He serves; She receives - Returns follow; Swings adapt."
"Volley sustained; Connected pair - Two as one; Wholly together."   Am I a Poet?

November 25th - Imagined reality - bent truth

The story...

Is it wise to imagine and create a positive self image?  Why not choose a better identity and change how you wish to be perceived?  You could plan and execute the change.  Through interpersonal strength, you'd hold onto, and defend, the imagined reality even if it required bending the truth.  Is that what it takes to be perceived as a good actor and reap rewards within the game of life?  Sadly, imagined realities and stories don't mesh well with others who're doing the same.  So, you might work to influence, manipulate, or control them so that they support your story.  Treat them like supporting actors in the story of "me."  It's hard to write this, let alone read it aloud - my inner-man seems like that.

Surely, living alongside other selfish people can be harsh.  It may seem reasonable to adopt a self-created role that allows us to get along while "trying" meet our own needs.  When efforts to get along don't work, we may pick up our toys and go home - stay isolated.  We might seek warmth and comfort by wrapping up in that old-raggedy blanket of our self image - sounds a bit cold and Grinchy.

The only church in town will share God's revealed Word about the nature that we were born with - that selfish, self-sustaining, and self-promoting nature who thinks of me first.  They'll hear about what God did to redeem His creatures, pay our God-offensive sin debts, so that we might walk through this life and eternity with our most holy God and Father - peacefully.  Wow, they'll hear that good news there - "the" story to know and share.

Just for today...

"Sometimes the greatest growth comes through pain, but it's not the pain that helps me grow, it's my response to it.  Will I suffer through the experiences and continue as before or let the pain inspire change that helps me grow?"  Courage to Change (p. 330)

"Imagined greatness; Happiness to garner - Resist His truth; Life dwindles afar."   Am I a Poet?

November 24th - Getting better or worse - nobody stays the same

The story...

A wise guy told me that about their habit of seeking to discover at least one thing of value from every conversation.  Looking for those "golden nuggets" helped him to listen, and stay engaged, in what might've been a boring or taxing conversation.  The speaker likely appreciated the attentive listener - albeit offered with a selfish motive.  Yes, this is one way to win friends and influence people for your benefit - and the speaker gets heard as well.  Everybody wins - right?

The self-help book craze peaked in the 1960s and continued strong for decades.  Yet, trying or acting to be somebody different than who you actually are is wrought with problems.  Being a good actor in life, who's well received by others, seems like a good path; yet, being that good person and working out that reality more naturally seems better to me.  There're reasons to believe we need to "fake it to make it" - how else do we become who we want to be?

There will be authentically good people who are interested in us, "yes you," within the only church in town.  Some will be redeemed - walking more rightly and humbly with God - we'll be compelled to listen to their conversation, heart, and spirit/Spirit connection.  When we experience the power of God  . . . we won't desire better.  Surely, that natural part of us will cause us to drift away; but, He doesn't leave His adopted sons and daughters there long.  He loves those that are His.  The first and second greatest commandments is living within this "sweet spot" of life.

Just for today...

"How many have given me a constructive idea to take away with me and use? That is the only measure of a truly valuable meeting."  One Day at a Time (p. 329)

"What can I do by day's end to improve myself? Is there something I can learn? Is there some challenge I can meet? Is there some old tired fear I can walk through and be rid of?"  Courage to Change (p. 329)

"Eyes see me; Ears truly hear - Mutual care; Preciously near."
"Opportunity knocked; Resist or be - Lower the armor; Lovingly see."   Am I a Poet

November 23rd - Identify, apply, and disposition the fear(s)

The story...

Lumbar defects were physical problem(s) that led me to feel: anxious, whiney, and powerless against them.  The fear also caused my really-strong back muscles to tighten up and compress my spine.  The "tightening" exasperated the problem and accelerated degradation - may lead to unrepairable nerve damage too.  Worrying doesn't "not hurt" and likely adds to future "hurt."

Worrying, anxiety, and fear may accelerate back pain.  Are worrying, anxiety, and fear ever warranted?  Truly, these emotions can spur us on towards a better course of action.  Fear-motivated life changes may result in pain avoidance.  It took me about a week to stop whining about the resurrected back pain - I experienced it about 15 years before.  Can we behave more "emotionally intelligent?"  It's possible to sense our emotions, better understand them, and disposition them when they've served their purposes.

With regards to my back problems; the medical system is designed to do what I can't do for myself.  Truly, the process needs my attention and involvement; but, they intervene to effect the change.  Most care givers seemed to love me along the way - they gave me what I needed.  Their care felt real good - kinda like receiving love.

There are some life truths that I don't want to face today.  For those, a reasonable amount of anxiety will help me remember and motivate me to action - to move forward or change.  It does make sense to be "in tune" with our emotions.  Taking that first step can be real hard.  I'm thankful for friends who shine the light of reality on our conditions.  We have a history of people caring for us.  Their kind intervention can be interpreted as love.

Many within the only church in town will be "okay" enough to listen to and care for their fellow pilgrims.  They'll actually hear other's words, emotions, self stories, and needs.   This inter-person care is a great part of being in the Body of Christ and walking rightly with God  (Micah 6:8).

Just for today...

"Just for today I will not be afraid of anything. If my mind is clouded with nameless dreads, I will track them down and expose their unreality . . . God is in charge of me and mine."  One Day at a Time (p. 328)

"I kissed her tears away, the way I wanted her to do for me when I was a child . . . I held her, and we cried together in joy and love."  Hope for Today (p. 328)

"Feelin truly sad; Can't say so - Nobody cares; Hidden woe."
"Best friend listens; Reflects veiled truth - Feeling to action; Held since youth."   Am I a Poet?

November 22nd - Rightly related to God?

The story...

I prefer a day: waking up at a consistent time with thankfulness; planning for & doing good; being honest - grounded in reality; loving me & others; exercising my body & mind - strengthening each; saying yes more than no; being quiet; dispatching potentially obsessive thinking within five minutes; tuning into my virtual spiritual radio - albeit the station's "staticy;" giving; being kind & receiving kindness; feeding my body & soul; seeking to understand before being understood; walking forward on my pilgrimage alongside close friends; and being a person through whom God is active.  Yet, my free will chooses to do differently each day.  Why?

My noble motives for behaving differently, even in the opposite direction, include my: need to be safe from harm; personal protection boundaries; scarcity of resources; American dream of the good life; acceptance by others; need to fix, manage, and control other people towards my vision of "our" good; avoiding fears from the past, present, and future; desire to receive good grades from the judge(s); escape from unfavorable circumstances; pain avoidance; telling of my good life story; loyalty to my family; and justifications for the way things are - "justified."

I expect that the first paragraph is about being rightly related to God and the second paragraph is about self protection and promotion.  The first paragraph was possible because my unholy self nature was judged, found wanting, yet redeemed and reconciled with God, sin debt paid for, by God Himself in Christ - "I'm with Him."  My part was believing on God and His great redemptive work in Christ.

The second paragraph characterizes me working out life by me and for me.  Thankfully, my conscience and the Spirit of God convicts me of this wrong way of being before I cause too much harm.  He restores me daily in a loving way.  My life seems to be continuing cycles of restoration that're heading in a good direction - like we might expect a loving Father to do for those who are His.

The PDCA model is good - yet, different - standardizing & sustaining change

The only church in town will learn and know that they can respond to His calling and be His.  They'll find fellow pilgrims to walk together with through life's circumstances.  Yes, a continuing series of restorative cycles that strengthen our need for receiving love from our heavenly Father - that kind of love is infectious - It can't stay still.  Love spreads far and wide - shining revealing Light everywhere.

Just for today...

"Half an hour's meditation is essential except when you are very busy. Then a full hour is necessary."  Francis de Sales

"First I need to develop a relationship with God . . . Next, I learn to become at peace with myself . . .  I can't be that person when I'm overly controlled by guilt, fear, and resentment and negligibly aware of my gifts and talents . . . Lastly, I start acting responsibly toward others."  Hope for Today (p. 326)

"...conflicting views become merely different views, so our problems can be solved with tolerant understanding and mutual respect."  One Day at a Time (p. 326)

"What's to be; Anxious mind's plea - Presently abiding; Placid deep sea."   Am I a Poet?

November 21st - What might a "broken" person let go of?

The story...

I did my best, created a comfortable home, and tried to help those in my care to be their best.  Then something upset the game board - other people's games and the circumstances of life.  The tokens, pegs, fake money and cards were strewn about - the game of life no longer worked - it was moving in directions that I didn't plan for or expect.  There had to be a better way. 

A friend recommended that I meet with a group of people who may help me turn life's chaos into a new and better way of living.  I'm so thankful that I "Zoomed" into my first virtual meeting with them. They taught me that their efforts to fix, manage, and control other people's live is fruitless and harmful.  The only person who I was capable of changing was me.  I learned much in the first year and lived a better way the second year.  I live a different sort of life now.  I respect relationships more and allow them the dignity to live out their own lives.  I more fully trust God, and bear more fruit that both I and others enjoy.  I'm living a more humble/honest life walking more closely within our present and eternal reality.  My more trusting and open relationships enable a wonderful sort of pilgrimage towards the Celestial City together - trusting God.  It's the good stuff that eluded me during my earlier years.  Strangely, I'm soo... thankful for the brokenness that upset my boat, knocked down the house of cards, and helped me trust God.

The only church in town will be comprised of people in all stages of life.  They'll learn about the reality of life together.  Each person will have a different personality, and when together, will form a group personality too.  The personality of the group will reflect their "head" - their Lord.

Just for today...

"Some people don't know how badly they need a new way of life until disaster overtakes them."  One Day at a Time (p. 326)

"Today I know that I can't fix anyone else but myself, and I challenge myself daily to seek a richer, more meaningful life. I'm taking risks, facing fears, making changes, speaking up, making myself available to life."  Courage to Change (p. 326)

"Getting by; Making my way - Brokenness fell; Had no say."
"Dependent on God; Close friends too - Love grew up; Hope for you."   Am I a Poet?

November 20th - Why listen to, or share, my uncomfortable realities?

The story...

"What's my husbands name? . . . Do you even know how many kids I have? . . . Do you care? . . . It's all about you."  This was the stinging message that I heard from one of my trusted reports.  She was making the claim that I cared for what she could produce and not truly for her as a person.  Whoa . . . the facts were clearly true . . . but wasn't the workplace suppose to be about work, accomplishment, and my objectives?  Wait, I meant to say "our" objectives - or did I?  As a supervisor, I wasn't suppose to get too close or have favorites - was I?  I could've justified my behaviors but it didn't sit well - I knew she was speaking "her" truth.   Was it possible to be the same good man in all of my endeavors?

Surely there were good examples out there - real people who still had their skin on 'em - not merely a glorified biography of the ideal.  Then, a guy was transferred to my department.  His current supervisor suggested that I witness his performance appraisal delivery.  I was surprised to see a virtuous man, honestly and respectfully, delivering his performance assessment along with their mutual understanding of their working relationship.  Wow ... I wanted to be more like him.  That good man, leader, and friend of many, died a few years later from cancer - another life circumstance that hurt.

The only church in town will be built on relationships - less-guarded and more honest relationships.  Yet, we can't realistically expect to relate well with everyone or even most people.  We're all different and most are operating in a different stage of life.  The community will be okay and respect all people as they "be."  Yet, they'll all share within a better way - trusting in God.

Just for today...

"Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want  to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations."  George Bernard Shaw

"What about those times when I heard truths about myself that left me feeling angry, embarrassed, or upset? When given the occasion to hear or speak an uncomfortable reality, I have choices. I can hear it and grow, I can share it and grow, or I can ignore it in favor of maintaining my comfort zone."  Hope for Today (p. 325)

"Comfortably distant; Safer from hurt - Justified loneliness; His way's better."   Am I a Poet?