December 6th - Sense emotions without reacting

The story...

They made a rude and self-centered verbal attack on the character of a person who I deeply cared for.  Multiple emotions rushed into my mind.  I reacted quickly by cutting down the speaker with sharp and hurtful words - my message couldn't be ignored and our relationship was damaged.  The exchange may have been justified but the relationship damage was hurtful and painful for both of us.  An emotionally intelligent person may have used the conversation as a means to more subtly allow the other person to see their actions and perspective more clearly and deal with them in their own way - saving face.

I've heard it said that our emotions will last about 90 seconds if we don't feed them.  If that's true, then within 90 seconds we can choose to either: ignore the feeling, pretend it isn't real, evaluate it rationally, equate it with another feeling, choose to remember it for later reference, react positively or negatively to it, or begin the recurring process of obsessively thinking about it.  Oh... how many hours I've painfully wasted obsessively thinking about a relationships gone bad.

Might we put each emotions out in the light of day and examine them in the present?  We gotta manage them quickly if unfed emotions last less than 90 seconds.  Often, I'm surprised at an important reality they'll expose.  Like a hidden pearl, awareness of an underlying truth can be an unexpected gift.  A benefactor may've endeavored to teach me to be more emotionally intelligent - my need must've been obvious to some.  Maybe they thought I needed to be "broken" first - to grow up on my own.

The only church in town will contain wise and capable mentors who trust God.  They'll be able to meet us where we are and relate to our position and condition as it more truly is.  They'll care because of the grace bestowed upon them by "That Than Which There is No Greater" in Christ - gracefully.

Just for today...

"Anger can give me an illusion of power. For a little while I may feel I have control over my situation and over other people, but that kind of false security always lets me down."  Courage to Change (p. 341)

"He needs much help who thinks he can compel others to do what seems right to him."  One Day at a Time (p. 341)

"Righteous anger; Spews hate - Heard pause; Love sate."   Am I a Poet?