November 23rd - Fear: name 'em, decide, move forward, and put 'em away

The story...

My lumbar defects are my current physical problem(s) that can easily lead me to feel anxiety, whine, and succumb to fear for the present and future.  I know that this type of fear can cause our exceptionally strong back muscles to tighten up around our spines.  I'm told this "tightening" exasperates the problem, which can accelerate the degradation, and potentially lead to subtle, yet unrepairable, nerve damage.  So, worrying doesn't just "not hurt" but causes ongoing, and potentially ongoing, "hurt."

Worrying, anxiety and fear clearly are not okay for back pain.  Yet, I wonder why worrying, anxiety, and fear are ever warranted.  Truly these emotions can spur us on towards that first step towards a better course of action, or being, that we would enjoy - better circumstances.  It took me about a week to stop whining about this resurrected pain of the type I felt before -about 15 years ago.  Yet, it seems better to acknowledge emotions, make sense of them, and then put 'em away when their purpose is fulfilled.

With regards to my back problems; the medical system is designed to do what I can't do for myself - true the process needs my attention and involvement; but, they intervene to effect the change.  Most people, working me through the process, seem to love me along the way as they give me what I need - that's a real good part of life - kinda like receiving love.

There are some truths about life that I don't want to face today.  For those, a reasonable amount of anxiety will help me remember and motivate me to take action - to move forward or change.  It does make sense to be "in tune" with our emotions.  Taking that first step can be real hard.  I'm thankful for friends who can help us shine the light of reality on our conditions - I have a history with people caring for me and their kind intervention is interpreted, by me, as love.

Many of the people within the only church in town will be "okay" enough to listen to, and care for, their fellow pilgrims.  They'll hear their fellow's words, emotions, self stories, and share together about the better reality of being and walking rightly with God  (Micah 6:8).

Just for today...

"Just for today I will not be afraid of anything. If my mind is clouded with nameless dreads, I will track them down and expose their unreality . . . God is in charge of me and mine."  One Day at a Time (p. 328)

"I kissed her tears away, the way I wanted her to do for me when I was a child . . . I held her, and we cried together in joy and love."  Hope for Today (p. 328)