June 17th - Remember the joy of floating down that river?

The story...

There's a dam and a river between Hamlin Lake and Lake Michigan.  The dam regulates the flow in a way that inner-tubbers can float down the river to lake Michigan on most summer days.  The water flows faster when it narrows and slows down when it widens.  When it breaks through the sandy beach area, it speeds up in the narrows and cuts deeper too - eventually it flows into Lake Michigan.

The memories of floating and swimming with friends invokes feelings of happiness and a sense of peacefulness.  It took a lot of work to get all of the floats, fins, life jackets, towels, goggles, books, lotion, and beach chairs to their correct position at either the start or end of the float trip.  One person had to drop the van off and run back to the start.

That lazy river might be a metaphor for life.  God has a will for our lives that flows with relative ease and purpose.  Yet we can kick hard to try to go back upstream, worry about a little bit of rain when we're already wet, venture into the shallows to check out a shiny object, or even kick to the shallows and slow way down while watching others float along.  I remember jumping out to tow a couple tubes and stepping on a fishing hook - ugh.  Yes, floating is about resting and trusting in the river's power.

The only church in town would teach about God's revealed power and provision.  Life, like the river, requires us to do our part and trust God for the rest.  Oh... work out our part of the problem and detach - let God work out His good and right will.

Just for today...

"... if I could subordinate my will to His.  This is a stumbling block for so many of us: we feel obliged to apply the force of our will to our problems.  No solutions can be found in this way."  One Day at a Time (p. 169)

June 16th - Dignity and Respect Worked Out

The story...

When I assigned my kids a job, like raking the lawn, I assumed that they'd want to learn and follow my best method.  How do you know what a well-groomed yard looks like unless you're told?  I had this compelling  urge to "jump into" the process if it wasn't going the way I thought was best..

Personally, I like to be shown a best way to perform a job and then be left alone to try it for awhile - time to work out my own method.  I do want to know what a "good job" looks like yet it's easy to get information overload - too much information too soon.  I do have a strange sense of satisfaction when I learn a new task/job and cast my eyes on my completed work.  I know that most people don't view or experience work the same way I do yet I expect that most people enjoy that deep-down satisfaction of a job well done.  Self-respect and dignity seem intertwined as we exercise our abilities.

The only church in town will have a variety of opportunities for people to engage in work both as individuals and as groups - a good person-job fit.  I'd hope that they'd experience the love of the Spirit of Christ as they're treated with respect and love along the way.  Might we all agree that relationships are much more important than the trimming of the lawn?

Just for today...

"... if I take over other people's responsibilities, I may rob them of the chance to accomplish something and to feel good about what they've done.  Although I am trying to help, my actions may be communicating a lack of respect for my loved one's abilities.  When I detach with love, I offer support by freeing those I care about to experience both their satisfactions and disappointments."  Courage to Change (p. 168)

June 15th - Seek first to understand and relate to others

The story...

I arrived late to my son's baseball game and merged into the crowd to see my son walking up to the plate.  I yell out some "remember to..." encouragement and he turns in my direction and asks "what did you say?"  The audience looks at me and I sat embarrassed.  I knew then that my behavior was wrong and didn't forget the incident.  It helped me see a problem but didn't reveal the cause. 

Old home plate in our back yard

Much of my life has been spent repeatedly attempting to convey and convince others of my better understanding on any topic of interest to me.  I may've justified this demeaning behavior as a means for "helping" others and refining my thoughts by testing and defending them.  In reality, I inhibited relationships, other people's growth, and my own growth too.  Most importantly, the behavior restrained important relationships.

For me, a better way has been to work out a sincere interest in people as they are and where they are.  It's strange that it would be a surprise to me that people whom I take a sincere interest in seem to become sincerely interested in me too. Close friendships are now part of my definition of the "good" life - I don't want to work my way through life without them.

The only church in town will likely have a preacher who will frequently speak to the full congregation.  I hope that the messages would be centered around who we are in Christ and less about what we should, or oughta, be thinking or doing.

Just for today...

"What are the attitudes and behaviors that may have served me (or at least gave the illusion of serving me) in the past but now limit my capacity to experience joy and fulfillment?  What are the resentments that keep me in bondage to the past?"  Hope for Today (p. 167)

"I will not add to the problem by using cruel, clever words to humiliate a fellow human being. In doing so, I would be shaming myself."  Courage to Change (p. 167)

June 14th - Will what works for you really work best for others?

The story...

Oh the countless hours spent coaching others regarding how they might best improve their lives based on my own learnings and experiences.  Sharing my ways of living seemed like a noble endeavor.  This "story teller" style of interaction attracted listeners.  The dream of telling stories as a professor seemed like a good person-job fit so I worked that long winding path towards a PhD.  The last ten years of my career were spent living out my dream job.

I imagined being a professor who lived on a quiet-tree-lined street, in a one-story house, with a big front porch.  Students would stop by to discuss their research work, to talk about life, or to imagine what might be together.  We'd work consulting engagements together where we'd make a real difference.  As you might expect, it didn't work out the way I imagined.  Students and fellow professors tired me by the end of the day and I looked forward to retiring to my condo outside of campus.

Towards the end of the semester, during my first year teaching in Duluth, MN, a student made a comment to me within a large lecture hall.  "I don't see why we're tested on opinions that you have about anything - shouldn't we be tested on what's proved to be true about the subject?"  He was right; thereafter, I clearly distinguished my opinion from the body of knowledge that we studied together.

So, I do know a lot of stuff yet know that a man should be taught as though they've not been taught. Who can know the will of God for another person?  Within the past three years, I've more frequently kept my opinions to myself and found that I now have few opinions as to what another person might best do or be.  It seems, I don't naturally gravitate to forming opinions about other people anymore.  I do look for, and greatly appreciate, closer relationships with other people and my closer walk with God through the Spirit of Christ.

Interpersonal skills worthy of emulating...

Within the only church in town, people would be allowed to actually grow in their love for God, for themselves, and for other people too.  Each person loving in their own unique way and at their own pace.   The measure of their faith wouldn't be primarily based on their knowledge of scripture or church resume - they would be a unique work of God, rightly related to Him, and humbly walking together.

Just for today...

"It's only natural to want to share what works for me with those I love.  But, when I must share it now, I may be more interested in changing others than in sharing my experience, strength, and hope."  Courage to Change (p. 166)

"We ought not to insist on everyone following in our footsteps, nor to take upon ourselves to give instructions in spirituality when, perhaps, we do not even know what it is."  Teresa of Avila

June 13th - Love 'em Just the Way They Are or Control 'em?

The story...

As a boy, I learned how to conform to the norms of the family, friends, classroom and the church.  When I was rejected by the teacher, peer groups, family members, or "that girl," then I adapted, rolled with punches, and even crafted my own role to "act" out.  As an adolescent, I often rebelled against the system.

I played the cornet in the band throughout middle school and high school.  This was the group that I best identified with.  However, I "pushed back" against the control that was exercised by the band director.  I refused to participate in any performance challenges during my Junior year.  I merely picked up my horn case and moved down to the lower seat.  This only worked out because the best trumpet player also joined me.  The director solved the problem by putting us in a trumpet section - we actually played more of the melody together.  

Controlling to the Extreme

The band director asked that I record my practice hours on a card during my senior year.  He let me know that it was for my benefit and did not require a parent signature.  I took it home and entered two weeks of zeros.  I asked my mom and dad to both sign the practice card - they did.  The band director looked at the signed practice sheet and said: "It appears that this isn't going to work with you."

I worked as a drug-store delivery boy and was assigned to work a Friday evening and would need to miss the football game.  The director would not accept my excuse and told me that he better see me in the band formation prior to the game.  I went to work anyway and drove the delivery car through the band formation while waving at the director.  I earned a "D" in band my senior year.

During my Senior year of college I brought two of my friends to my home town and actually took them on a tour of my High School.  The band director saw me as I was making moves to avoid him.  I was shocked at how respectfully he treated me and my friends.  I'm so thankful for that man and how he worked to shape that rebellious spirit in me. He wasn't the last person to reach out to help me.

The people in the only church in town will be wonderfully created to be unique and more complete as a group.  Strangely people are drawn to adapt their behavior, or role play, in order to fit the group's expectations of who they should be.  Hopefully, the only church in town would love 'em as they are and offer them a path to grow their faith in their own way and at their own pace.  I'm so thankful that the Patriarchs of the bible were often rebels who God loved and redeemed.

Just for today...

"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image.  Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them."  Thomas Merton:  No Man is an Island.

June 12th - Freedom from Co-Dependency

The story...

I grew up believing that we were right and they were wrong.  Those who were different were dummies.  Follow our rules and code and distance yourself from others who think or behave differently - the group had the right opinion about everything.  My rebellious personality enabled me to break free and experience a broader scope of ideas, behaviors and ways for working out my life.  Thank goodness that I sought to understand others and was curious about their ways of living.  However, like a good soldier, I gravitated toward accepting a set of rules for working out my Christian life.  Yet, I rebelled along the journey - oh... yet for the grace of God and His pursuit of me.

Robert Subby (1984) defined Co-Dependency as "An emotional, psychological, and behavioral condition that develops as a result of an individual's prolonged exposure to, and practice of, a set of oppressive rules - rules which prevent the open expression of feelings as well as the direct discussion of personal and interpersonal problems."

Melody Beattie (1992) described how she spent most of her time worrying about people and trying to figure out how to control them - manipulation seemed for her like the only way to get things done. She  later realized that she needed to take care of herself first and allow others the dignity to live out their own lives.

The only church in town might focus on the greatest commandments:  Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind.  And, love your neighbor as yourself.  Attenders would learn how they might find freedom from the co-dependency fostered by a set of legalistic rules designed to control congregate behavior.  Shame and guilt replaced by grace and love.  The presence of the Spirit of Christ would validate the reality of the gospel.  People with right relationships with their Creator and maybe a few people too.

Just for today...

"I discovered how much I wanted other people to change so that I could be happy."  Hope for Today (p. 164)

Beattie, M., (1992). Codependent No More - How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring For Yourself.

Mr. Stewart describes what it is like to live a life in Christ as opposed to reducing the Apostle Paul's revelations into a set of rules for living the Christian life.  This book was like a wonderful breath of fresh air for my spirit.  Stewart, J. S. (1935). A Man in Christ - The Vital Elements of St. Paul's Religion

June 11th - Valued Relationships

The story...

Relationships in college were easy for me to develop.  We lived and ate in the same place, shared similar schedules and academic challenges, were about the same age, were invited to similar social events, drank beer together, and most of our lives had yet to be written.  I thought I was free to play and be whoever I wanted to be.

Marston Hall - The library was my favorite study place.

Many college students had enough of community living after about two years.  They wanted to be free of the forced relationship hassles and rules related to community living - they moved off campus. Personally, I didn't understand why people would want to clean a house, shovel sidewalks, buy and cook food, and work out the domestic life with a few other people.   I liked to visit houses like that but I also enjoyed returning to the dorm community.

During my Junior year, I attended the going-away parties for friends who were graduating or just leaving Ames, IA.  The party for guys seemed to be more optimistic than for the girls - parties for girls seemed to be more like a wake or a funeral.  Maybe the girls were more in tune with their feelings or had closer relationships than the guys did.  Anyway, I always planned an event that I could escape to rather than lingering at the "wakes."

Then it happened to me.  I had my own apartment in Knoxville, TN.  I had friends yet I felt isolation and loneliness.  Then a new friend invited me to a parachurch and I became connected.  I've been part of a church community ever since.  The purpose of the college community was to grow me, grow my understanding and transform me into a productive member of society who somebody wanted to hire.  The church community had aims of making me a better person rightly related to God and others too.

The only church in town would primarily preach and teach the gospel about how a man can be reconciled with God and have an ongoing relationship with Him.  They'd work out Truth into the reality of their life walk and community too.   The community life and person-to-person relationships would be good yet of secondary importance.

Just for today...

"I was unable to discuss my personal life with my mother.  Fearing her rejection, I rejected her instead . . . I realized that the opportunity to be close to her had always existed, but I hadn't been willing, until then, to take part in it."  Courage to Change (p. 163)

June 10th - My mentor is gone...

 The story...

Dr. Charles Stanley died on April 19th, 2023 at 90 years of age.  I loved my own father yet Charles Stanley served me as a sort of spiritual father for more than 40 years.  I was crushed when a best friend shared the news with me - I grieved for about three hours yet the sense of loss lingered.  I no longer have a mentor.  Surely I had other mentors but they're gone too.  I've strong friendships but they're not mentors.  Maybe my mentors needed to go away for me to more fully trust in God - to work out the life of faith that I've been gifted with - to be a mentor.

I'm so... thankful that his ministry continues on YouTube.  Strangely, his radio channel, and selected messages, are now even more meaningful to me.  Maybe it's because I imagine him being with, and in, Christ at the right hand of God.  That's my aim too.

The only church in town will minister to people in each season of life.  Loving, learning, worshipping, praying, restoring, suffering, remembering, experiencing, praising, serving, mentoring, and saying goodbyes too.  Hopefully, no person will be left behind.

Just for today...

"I didn't get many of the things that I needed to thrive emotionally and spiritually.  Things like consistency, structure, encouragement, and acceptance of my feelings were missing . . . Caring for myself first is part of caring for others."  Hope for Today (p. 162)

"Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they're yours."  Richard Bach

June 9th - What does it mean to be good?

The story...

"Rommel, you are such a good boy."  I must have heard words like that directed toward me but I don't recall them.  I believe I did hear them yet I'm not sure what those words would've meant.  They likely would've meant that I was respectful, obedient, trustworthy, helpful ...  Wait a second! That sounds like the Boy Scout law:

 "A Scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent."

How does that compare with what God says is good?

"He has told you, mortal one, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?" Micah 6:8 (NASB)

The difference between the two definitions seems to be that the first one is a law that boys are asked to strive toward and the second requires walking humbly with God with love.  How do I work out my life humbly - walking rightly with God and loving my neighbors?  God is holy and I'm not.  I was born selfish with a heart that's like an idol factory.  Those idols were barriers between me and my relationship with God.

Message to me on a felt board as a 7 yr. old - I believed it.

Currently, I'm walking closer with God than in past seasons of my life. My relationship seems to be bearing His fruit through the Spirit of Christ who indwells me as a Christ one.  Yes, I've put my faith in the Son of God and His great redemptive work.  My old nature tempts me to idolize my fantasy, where I spend my precious time, my relationships, my financial power, or even my emotions.  I'm positioned complete in Christ and without Him I'm wandering near other people through life towards...

People within the only church in town would witness people walking humbly with God with love in their hearts.  They'd witness some Christ ones resting in peace through life's trials and sufferings and approaching their body's death with rest and peace too.  Will they see the gap between their own reality and what God said they can be?  What might the good life look like if they walked along fully trusting God and His Word?

Just for today...

"'The last thing I need is to be more humble.' Hadn't I been humble all my life, putting everyone's needs ahead of my own? . . . I had confused humility with humiliation . . . humility, I discovered, is the ability to see my true relationship to God and to my fellow human beings."  Courage to Change (p. 161)

"What wonderful things could happen in my life if I could get rid of my natural impulse to justify my actions! . . . Being honest isn't easy . . . I know that self-deception multiplies my problems."  One Day at a Time (p. 161)

"'I was afraid to say what was on my mind or in my heart for fear of being ridiculed, shunned, or criticized . . .  Now I have a reputation for being direct, honest, and open . . . I can let others know how I think and feel . . . I have a right to share what is in my mind and heart."  Hope for Today (p. 161) 

June 8th - Invest my life playing win/lose games? Really?

The story...

My grandmother shared the game of solitaire with me - she loved to play it.  She, or maybe another person, told me that you could play a mental game of paying $52 for the deck of cards and earn $5 for every card that makes it to the top.  Its a win/lose game.  I've played this game countless times imagining what might be and finding out what I was dealt. "If I get all 52 cards on top then I'm going to..."   

I believe that this behavior is one of my learned defects - I stopped playing the game two days ago.  Forty days passed between the first draft and the posting of this story - stopping the solitaire habit was fruitful in unexpected ways.  I'm not sure what replaced the solitaire time, or trigger to play it, yet life's more peaceful and I'm trusting God more.

The only church in town will offer our Creator's version of what a good life looks like.  He doesn't tell us everything but does tell us enough to live a good life walking humbly with Him.  For me, regularly investing my time playing, and hoping on, a win/lose game with a deck of cards isn't a good fit.   

I lose...

Just for today...

"What defects could possibly give me pleasure?  Revenge, for one.  I spend lots of time creating mental scenarios in which I punish those who have hurt me.  I also get enjoyment from thinking that I am never wrong; in other words, I cling to pride . . . they prevent me from treating myself and others with love and respect."   Courage to Change (p. 160)

June 7th - Let it be heard - lament - be rid of the pain

The story...

I've had the joy of meeting weekly with a group of men while we studied the bible.  Next Monday night will be my last with them.  Strangely, we'll be considering the lamentations of the prophet Jeremiah who lived 40 years warning Jerusalem of God's pending judgment - the destruction of the people, temple, palace, city, law, festivals, and land.  A remnant of 4,600 people would be exiled to Babylon for 70 years to cleanse the people and the land from the effects of sin.  Jerimiah lamented deeply - he's known as the weeping prophet.

All life comes with suffering - ignoring, pretending and hiding seem to be reasonable responses yet they run rife with bad consequences - bottled up emotions is no way to live a good life.  God knows our heart and hears our prayers that cry out with the pain inflicted from our personal and collective sin. 

The only church in town would be acutely aware that they're living in a cursed world.  People need to be restored when sin inflicts it's damage.  Real freedom and love are offered by God through faith in His great work in Christ.  Yet, the pain and sufferings of life take their toll.  God hears our lamenting and loves those who walk faithfully beside Him within the only church in town.

The Passion Of The Christ - Tear Drop From God

Why not go to a quiet place and let it out today?

Just for today...

"Courtesy . . . is an expression of love, warm concern for the other person's comfort, peace of mind and well being . . . The practice of courtesy in the home gives us many opportunities each day to convey our love in little ways."  One Day at a Time (p. 159)

"When I turn off one feeling, I shut off all the others . . .  Sobbing, wailing, lamenting - all different ways of discharging my pain so that I can heal - allow me to experience the strength of my aliveness."  Hope for Today (p. 159)

June 6th - I Make Mistakes - That's Good to Know

The story...

Recently, I rearranged and exchanged objects within both my garage and a room in the basement.  Within a week, I hit my forehead on a shelf in each place.  Both blows to my head hurt at impact, the painful feelings lingered for hours, they bled, and a scab was left over each.  Hopefully, this won't happen again - I cut and sanded the corner on one shelf and taped a piece of foam over the corner of the other. 

The sharp corner is now more friendly

It's hard to ignore my limitations when confronted with the "biophysical" feedback.  I could blame my mishaps on other people; but, in both instances, I rearranged both places and I rushed to grab both objects within my new setup.  I could ignore or hide the scabs and pretend the incidents didn't happen - keep it a secret.  Or, I could accept that I'm capable of making mistakes yet have good qualities too.

I chose to make a more honest assessment of my strengths, weaknesses, and current situation.  I expect that living in reality is part of loving myself unconditionally.  Accepting my reality and my limitations feels good and right.  Strangely my more humble acceptance seems to open my eyes and heart to more fully love my neighbors too.  Is humility an honest appreciation of my whole self - each part?

I expect that the only church in town would want to treat each others as neighbors.  Loving each other just the way they are.  Why?  Because they'd hear, read, and witness the love of God worked out through other limited creatures like themselves - with God gracefully doing the heavy-lifting - wow!

Just for today...

"When something upsetting happens, old memories of previous hurts often come back to haunt me.  This makes it difficult to stay in the present and I start living simultaneously in the past and future.  The outcomes of the past get projected onto present and future situations."   Hope for Today (p. 158)

"I am a human being with strengths and weaknesses, capable of achievements and mistakes.  Because I accept this, I can look closely at myself.  Today I will find something to appreciate and something to improve."  Courage to Change (p. 158)

June 5th - Walking in the Present with God

The story...

I'm walking in the woods.  Am I walking humbly with God?  Am I aware of and receptive to His presence or is my mind moving to and fro between the past and the future?  These walks are my favorite place to consciously walk with God, in the present, as I ascend each hill, turn around each bend, see the sun rays through the leaves, fall into a state of peacefulness, or reflect on the beauty of that vista before I return to my more normal way of life. 

I'm glad I took this picture.

Some say I should buy a camera to better record those "present" moments so that I can later recall them with fondness.  Might these past reflections take me away from the future present?  I've heard it said that too much focus on the past results in depression and that too much attention to the future results in undue anxiety.  We meet with God and people in the present.

People attending the only church in town will likely desire the experience of walking more closely together with God.  Who knows what His will will be for our life today?  It seems reasonable to expect that today will be much like yesterday but change happens - only God knows for sure.  We must say "goodbye" to the past to greet the future with "hello."

Just for today...

"When I open my heart to a Power that fills me with love and acceptance, I can begin to extend those qualities to others."  Courage to Change (p. 157)

"Each new day I turn myself over to God's care because what He does is well done."  Hope for Today (p. 157)

June 4th - But I was beginning to win under the old rules...

The story...

"The times are changing.  It's becoming real bad like God said it will be before He comes back to discipline and restore. Can't you see what's happening?  Are you just going to stand around and do nothing?"  I've heard different variations of this story throughout my life.  People afraid of a future where other people will connive to change the rules of the the game of life in their favor.  The status quo wants to keep the "rule set" that governed their life - just when it looked like they might win in the game of life, bad people want to change the rules.

The Game of Life

I know God is the creator and I'm the creature.  I know in part and God knows all. 

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord."  Isaiah 55:8-9 (NASB).

“The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us..." Deuteronomy 29:29 (NASB).

Is it reasonable that living within the will of our Creator and Sustainer is best?  Is His will knowable?  If so, what should I do today?  What will I do today?  What's the difference between the two?

Today I plan to:

• act faithfully to fulfill my commitments
• read part of God's revealed Word
• praise God and be receptive in prayer
• love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, and strength
• love me in Christ and my neighbor as myself
• step forward and trust God with the results
• be thankful

The only church in town will have people who fear more than trust in God and His Word.  The Spirit of Christ bearing fruit through His people will compel old-sinful selves to give up their struggle and trust God's revealed truth.  Yet, their selfish old nature will compel them to reject this wonderful new reality and the different set of principles and rules that go with it.  The old master of their life is tough but they've adapted to him - this new life seems real good yet doesn't seem doable or sustainable - yes, it would take the power of God to live a life like that.

Just for today...

"If I were to pray: "My will be done," wouldn't it be exactly what I am saying when I ask God to do what I want?"  One Day at a Time (p. 156)

"I used to think I always had to do something and that waiting was a waste of time.  Now I know God speaks to me while I'm waiting."  Hope for Today (p. 156)

June 3rd - Self-help books - Does your self need help?

The story...

Family members were reading an Og Mandino book; "You have to read it.  It teaches you how to live your life right.  It's an amazing story."  As a young man, I read the book - it was an amazing story.  The story was written with claims that suggested it was true; yet, I later realized that the story might not be true.  There was no internet then to check Wikipedia's version of the truth.  Yes, it was a fictional story.  Now, the lessons learned were meaningless - rules of thumb, principles, or ideas that might increase your odds of things going your way.  I chucked the book.

"If I could just dance like that then everything would be..."

The only church in town would preach and teach the way to have an ongoing and eternal relationship with God.  People would be different without "trying" to be better.  People would be as they're gifted rather than futilely attempting to comply with all those "ought haves" and "should ofs."

Just for today...

"Defending ourselves by engaging in arguments with . . . irrational people is as fruitless as donning armor to protect ourselves from a nuclear explosion . . . I am not obligated to justify myself to anyone."  Courage to Change (p. 155)

"God, please lead me to those who can give me what I need and grant me the compassion to love those who can't."  Hope for Today (p. 155)

"A program of self-recognition and self-change 'reads easy and does hard.'"  One Day at a Time (p. 155)

June 2nd - Feelings of Unfairness "Morphed" into Thankfulness?

The story...

I'm sitting hear trying to think of an example of when I was treated unfairly.  I can think of a continuous stream of them yet I can't work up that one good example.  Maybe it's because thankfulness has pushed out the space where I stored resentments?  I hope so.

I'm so thankful today.  Pain and suffering are sure to come yet my hopes for the future are positive.  I look forward to continual growth and am thankful for life.  Yes, I'm thankful for that last full breath of air as it entered my lungs as cool air and left as a warm exhale.

The bread of life...

The people within the only church in town would be thankful and generally okay.  The grace of God witnessed in action through people with skin on them.  They'd be more capable of loving God, themselves, and other people too.  Unfairness would meet up with grace - grace would win.

Just for today...

"No amount of self-discipline can heal us from resentment.  Sometimes it seems the more we struggle against it, the more it sneaks up on us, surging like a dark sickness into the mind, plunging our emotions into turmoil."  One Day at a Time (p. 154)

June 1st - Expectations for Others - Pre-Meditated Resentments?

The story...

I was a volunteer soccer coach waiting for the last parent to pick up their "kid."  It was getting dark and this'd happened before.  "Don't they realize how much it costs me to be the soccer coach?  Don't they care about their kid?"  They finally drive up about 30 yards away and stay in their car while their son says goodbye and runs off.   I'm frustrated and resent their behavior - they didn't meet my expectations.  I'm the one with the problem, what do "I" do about it?

Do I have the right to impose my standards on other people?  Employers have the right to impose their standards on employees.  Parents have the right and responsibility to set standards for adolescents.  Boy Scouts agree to a set of standards when they join.  Even so, my question remains:  "Do I have the right to impose my standards on other people?"

My resentment caused by others not meeting my standards seems to cause much pain - relationships suffer.  Why do I maintain opinions regarding other people or how they behave?

Within the only church in town, the standards will be based on the revealed Word of God.  They'll allow for a broad range of more authentic behaviors from the congregates - honest beauty within community.  The grace that God has shown His people may also guide the relationships.

Just for today...

"An expectation is a pre-meditated resentment . . . I have the right to choose my own standards of conduct, but I do not have the right or the power to impose those standards on others."  Courage to Change (p. 153)

May 31st - Dents and Stains Redeemed

The story...

I bought a new black Datsun 310 in 1981.  My best friend and his wife were my first riders.  He stepped in some kind of grease before sitting in the car - the 6" grease spot stayed on the carpet until the day I sold it.  

Then, you could drive fast in Tennessee without the worry of a speeding ticket.  When the car was a couple months old, I hit a guardrail while joy riding - the dented-rear fender stayed on the car until the day I sold it.

I moved the car to Ohio and Michigan before finally selling it - bought a new red Honda.  Years later, I found that Datsun in a junk yard, the greased-stained carpet and dented fender were still there - evidence. 

The dent's on the other side...

I try and sometimes make mistakes.  I want to be accepted and loved by other people.  Yet, they sometimes reject me or demean me by making light of me or my accomplishments - wounded pride.  In close relationships, I show my flaws and risk being hurt.  I can either hide my dents and stains or I can fully place my value in my relationship with my Creator - the only place where I must be truly okay.  He loves me just the way I am because He redeemed me - I'm His in Christ.  Scripture, my life walk, and His Spirit at work in me, confirm that I'm right with Him - even with my dents and stains.

I've skills and abilities yet I'm incomplete - I need our Creator and the group to walk through life rightly.  You can find a flawed, yet redeemed, group like that within the only church in town - show up.

Just for today...

"The world cannot be discovered by a journey of miles . . . only by a spiritual journey . . . by which we arrive at the ground at our feet, and learn to be at home."  Wendell Berry

"My self-esteem diminished whenever I made a mistake, didn't know something I was expected to know, did something wrong, or when something I unintentionally did or said ended up hurting someone . . . I believed my mistakes were proof of my failure at the one thing I was supposed to accomplish - perfection." Hope for Today (p. 152)

May 30th - Does it Seem Wrong to Be Kind to Yourself?

The story...

Are there good guys and bad guys in life?  Or, are we all under the curse of sin and death - bad guys?

I recently met a really good person who remembers only a few times when she rebelled against authority and acted out badly.  She seems compliant and appears to genuinely care for and love other people.  I've met other people who seem rebellious by nature and challenge most direction and attempts to control them - started as a baby and never stopped.  Personally, I tend to fall on the rebellious side of the continuum. 

On May 7, 1931, the most sensational manhunt New York City had ever known had come to its climax.

After weeks of search, "Two Gun" Crowley - the killer, the gunman who didn't smoke or drink - was at bay, trapped in his sweetheart's apartment on West End Avenue. One hundred and fifty policemen and detectives laid siege to his top floor hideaway. They chopped holes in the roof; they tried to smoke out Crowley, the "cop killer," with teargas. Then they mounted their machine guns on surrounding buildings, and for more than an hour one of New York's fine residential areas reverberated with the crack of pistol fire and the rut-tat-tat of machine guns. Crowley, crouching behind an over-stuffed chair, fired incessantly at the police. Ten thousand excited people watched the battle. Nothing like it ever been seen before on the sidewalks of New York.

When Crowley was captured, Police Commissioner E. P. Mulrooney declared that the two-gun desperado was one of the most dangerous criminals ever encountered in the history of New York.

"He will kill," said the Commissioner, "at the drop of a feather." But how did "Two Gun" Crowley regard himself? We know, because while the police were firing into his apartment, he wrote a letter addressed "To whom it may concern, " And, as he wrote, the blood flowing from his wounds left a crimson trail on the paper. In this letter Crowley said: "Under my coat is a weary heart, but a kind one - one that would do nobody any harm. "

A short time before this, Crowley had been having a necking party with his girl friend on a country road out on Long Island. Suddenly a policeman walked up to the car and said: "Let me see your license." Without saying a word, Crowley drew his gun and cut the policeman down with a shower of lead. As the dying officer fell, Crowley leaped out of the car, grabbed the officer's revolver, and fired another bullet into the prostrate body. And that was the killer who said: "Under my coat is a weary heart, but a kind one - one that would do nobody any harm. '

 How to Win Friends And Influence People, Dale Carnegie

Scripture says that all men and women are unholy and separated from our Holy Creator by our selfish nature and the sin that oozes out.   We would all remain separate from God during this life and throughout eternity unless God alone redeemed and reconciled us.  Humans can enter their most important relationship with Him solely based on being identified with Christ and the atoning work He performed through His death and resurrection.  He did the heavy lifting and died for our sin - He paid our debt.  Yes, we can be holy in the site of God in Christ.

Do I have to beat myself up for not being consistently good?  No.  I can walk each day loving God and my neighbor as myself based solely on the great work that God's done on my behalf.  Wow, I can truly rest in the goodness of God.  I can be kind to myself just as I am - praise God.

How would the only church in town accept a rebellious man within their congregation?  I expect that they'd start with acknowledging that they're all somewhere on the rebellion-compliance continuum and that they all need the gift of God's grace daily.

Just for today...

"If I am hard on myself, I can stop and remember that I deserve gentleness and understanding from myself.  Being human is not a character defect!  Today I will be gentle with my humanness."  Courage to Change (p. 151)

May 29th - Be Prepared to Do Your Duty

The story...

There was a season of my life when I frequently fished on a pier that jutted out into Lake Michigan.  It was a great place to enjoy; yet, a place that begged for awareness of the expected and unexpected - to be prepared.  You might cast your lure into the air and have a sea gull swoop down and grab your hook. You might hook a 50-year-old sturgeon.  Lightening may quickly arrive and find you as the highest point in the area.  Your back cast might hook another person in the neck.  You might slip on that slime and find yourself in 38 degree water, with a gash on your forehead, anchored down with water-filled boots.  Or, that rouge wave might sweep over the pier and take all the stuff and people with it.  

It'd seem that a person who decides to fish on the pier should also follow the Boy Scout Motto:  "Be Prepared" - be in a state of readiness in mind and body to do your duty.  Does that mean continuously turning ideas of all the "bad" unexpected things, that might occur, through your mind - like on a Rolodex?  How can you bear fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control when you're worrying about what "bad" thing might happen?  Can a person who expects doom and gloom really enjoy the life and relationships they've been given?

How would a deer make it through the day if it thought about all of the possibilities that might occur?  There's a group outside my window as I am writing this blog.  They seem thankful for the sunrise, each other, and trusting there needs will be met.  Are you thankfully trusting God's provision, enjoying the cards you're dealt, or do you expect doom and gloom and merely hope to get lucky?

Can't see 'em?  Look closer...

It makes sense to be with others who're prepared yet they're likely expecting you to help if needed too.  Within the only church in town, you'd be walking with other pilgrims through life with different capabilities, knowledge, experiences, gifts, abilities, perspectives, levels of preparedness and maturity too.  In the only church in town, problems and suffering will occur yet fruit will be born among the pain and suffering.  

Just for today...

"When we anticipate doom, we lose touch with what is happening now and see the world as a threatening place against which we must be on constant alert.  Most of our fears will never come to pass, and if they do, foreknowledge probably won't make us any better prepared."  Courage to Change (p. 150)

May 28th - Need - Pray - Trust - Wait - Praise - Thankfulness - Peace

The story...

I've a prayer box where I place scraps of paper with recorded prayers that I'm trusting God with.  I hadn't opened it for a couple months and was surprised of what I saw when I opened it this week.  Positive and unexpected changes were happening with each request.   If I was a little god, I'd never have planned them to work out the way they did.  I'm thankful that I left them with God and resisted the urge to intervene and "help" them.

The only church in town would pray for their hopes and needs and trust God for outcomes.  Later, when they expectantly open their "prayer box" they'd find unexpected...   

Just for today...

"I have heard it said that the only valid comparisons are between myself as I am and myself as I used to be."  Courage to Change (p. 148)

"God, please help me be willing to be willing."  Hope for Today (p. 149)

May 27th - Tad Sad Today

The story...

I've felt a bit sad over the past few days.  As I write this letter, I miss a loved one who is usually near. I've been more deeply considering the passion week, and a person that I care for shared turmoil that they're working through, I feel distant from my groups, and I recognize the fallacy of my current pattern of focusing on things and experiences for happiness.  I've an underlying feeling of sadness.  The sadness is real - it's a thing.  This sadness and peace don't go together.

My sad feelings experienced over time are inputs that help me wake up to reality.  I've acknowledged my sadness and shared the feeling with two other people who care about me.  Right now, I see my shadow on the wall from the early morning sun.  I feel like I might be entering into a new season - goodbye to the old and hello to the new.  I feel like the sadness may have reintroduced me to a new season of joy and peace.

The only church in town would celebrate the resurrection of their Lord and Savior this week.  They'd be confronting most important truths about their God and themselves - what wonderful experiences and eternal truths shared, and worked out into reality, together. 

Yes, I write the first draft of these blog postings a few weeks before they actually see the light of day.   Like the feeling of sadness needs time to be more fully understood and worked out - I enjoy the editing process of my blog messages.  These stories retold have been helpful for me - praise God in Christ.

Just for today...

Are you feeling: happy, fearful, sad, angry, shameful, or guilty?   What's true about them?  Please don't be too quick to dismiss the reality of the truths you might be feeling.  Maybe they're telling you that there's a better way - a way of peace, rest, and joy.

May 26th - Say Goodbye to Say Hello

The story...

I like the motorcycle that I currently own yet I'm planning to sell it to buy another.  Surely I've justified the change - size, safety with ABS, travel further, and more reliable.   Yet, I'll miss the nimbleness, ease of maneuvering, and efficiency - it's been a good friend and companion.  

Why not keep it?  Keeping means more: maintenance, storage space, insurance cost, and time wasted caring for things.  No, I will say goodbye to the old and welcome the new.

First day I owned it - it's time to say goodbye already.

How do we know when a thing, group, or way of living has run its course?  Might we reduce the bias that we have for keeping things just as they are.  Surely there're reasons for why things are the way they are and it'd be foolish not to consider their past, current and potential value.

I've heard that it's healthy to break behavior patterns.  For example, drive home a different way or eat a different kind of food.  Go to an event where people have different interests, hobbies and ways.  Change has been good for my life walk and character - being ready to roll and accepting change has helped.

People, ministries, buildings, job descriptions and worship practices will come and go within the only church in town.  Yet one day, everybody will take their final breath - "goodbye."  And, they'll say hello to eternity.  Oh..., to be found in Christ and loved by God.  Heaven doesn't wait.

Just for today...

"If I don't get too attached to any one way to approach life, I adjust to change with a lot less stress and strain . . .  As a friend says: 'We don't see the world as it is. We see the world as we are.'"  Courage to Change (p. 147)

May 25th - Honestly?

The story...

Most people who know me would characterize me as an honest person by nature - a guy who sometimes would be better off keeping his honest ideas to himself.  My family seemed to value integrity and honesty yet I think that we may've been more true to the ideal rather than reality - "put your best foot forward."  I remember my mother getting ready to go to town.  She'd suck in her gut and look her very best into the mirror.  I'd say: "You know that you don't really look like that when you walk out the door."  and she'd say something like: "It doesn't hurt to think your best before...."

What if you don't fit in with the group?  Should you modify your manner, interests, and behaviors to fit in?   What if those in the group frequently respond with fake laughs to most things that're said - do you go along with it to demonstrate unity and likeability?  Do you do what the group does because you want to remain as part of the group?  When this type of behavior occurs the group can believe that everybody thinks the same way they do - the False Consensus Effect.  They might reject you for thinking and behaving differently and classify you as being defective in some way.  Oh... the evils of "group think."

So, I've learned to keep opinions to myself or to have no opinion at all regarding other people - let 'em be and show respect for them just as they are.  That doesn't mean I have to engage in their common behavior - I have the right to respectfully say no without a need to justify my position.  I can be me and let 'em be.  They're different from me, their story's different from mine, and they're in a different stage of life than I am.

Honest Abe

I hope that the only church in town would be a place where people are safe to be honest within the reality of their relationship with God.   The motives are plentiful for wanting to make false claims about this most valued relationship.  Oh to know God and allow Him to shine light on the reality of your faith in Him - let Him have His way as you abide in Christ.  Please don't try to be somebody you aren't.  

Just for today...

"Today it is important for me to be in an environment in which honesty is practiced.  I don't necessarily launch into a detailed description of my woes or my joys - that isn't always desirable or appropriate - but when asked how I'm doing , I try to ask myself what the real answer is."  Courage to Change (p. 146)

"To make good choices, I must develop a mature and prudent understanding of myself that will reveal to me my real motives and intentions."  Thomas Merton: No Man is an Island