The story...
I grew up believing that we were right and they were wrong. Those who were different were dummies. Follow our rules and code and distance yourself from others who think or behave differently - the group had the right opinion about everything. My rebellious personality enabled me to break free and experience a broader scope of ideas, behaviors and ways for working out my life. Thank goodness that I sought to understand others and was curious about their ways of living. However, like a good soldier, I gravitated toward accepting a set of rules for working out my Christian life. Yet, I rebelled along the journey - oh... yet for the grace of God and His pursuit of me.
Robert Subby (1984) defined Co-Dependency as "An emotional, psychological, and behavioral condition that develops as a result of an individual's prolonged exposure to, and practice of, a set of oppressive rules - rules which prevent the open expression of feelings as well as the direct discussion of personal and interpersonal problems."
Melody Beattie (1992) described how she spent most of her time worrying about people and trying to figure out how to control them - manipulation seemed for her like the only way to get things done. She later realized that she needed to take care of herself first and allow others the dignity to live out their own lives.
The only church in town might focus on the greatest commandments: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind. And, love your neighbor as yourself. Attenders would learn how they might find freedom from the co-dependency fostered by a set of legalistic rules designed to control congregate behavior. Shame and guilt replaced by grace and love. The presence of the Spirit of Christ would validate the reality of the gospel. People with right relationships with their Creator and maybe a few people too.
Just for today...
"I discovered how much I wanted other people to change so that I could be happy." Hope for Today (p. 164)
Beattie, M., (1992). Codependent No More - How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring For Yourself.
Mr. Stewart describes what it is like to live a life in Christ as opposed to reducing the Apostle Paul's revelations into a set of rules for living the Christian life. This book was like a wonderful breath of fresh air for my spirit. Stewart, J. S. (1935). A Man in Christ - The Vital Elements of St. Paul's Religion
