The story...
Most people who know me would characterize me as an honest person by nature - a guy who sometimes would be better off keeping his honest ideas to himself. My family seemed to value integrity and honesty yet I think that we may've been more true to the ideal rather than reality - "put your best foot forward." I remember my mother getting ready to go to town. She'd suck in her gut and look her very best into the mirror. I'd say: "You know that you don't really look like that when you walk out the door." and she'd say something like: "It doesn't hurt to think your best before...."
What if you don't fit in with the group? Should you modify your manner, interests, and behaviors to fit in? What if those in the group frequently respond with fake laughs to most things that're said - do you go along with it to demonstrate unity and likeability? Do you do what the group does because you want to remain as part of the group? When this type of behavior occurs the group can believe that everybody thinks the same way they do - the False Consensus Effect. They might reject you for thinking and behaving differently and classify you as being defective in some way. Oh... the evils of "group think."
So, I've learned to keep opinions to myself or to have no opinion at all regarding other people - let 'em be and show respect for them just as they are. That doesn't mean I have to engage in their common behavior - I have the right to respectfully say no without a need to justify my position. I can be me and let 'em be. They're different from me, their story's different from mine, and they're in a different stage of life than I am.
I hope that the only church in town would be a place where people are safe to be honest within the reality of their relationship with God. The motives are plentiful for wanting to make false claims about this most valued relationship. Oh to know God and allow Him to shine light on the reality of your faith in Him - let Him have His way as you abide in Christ. Please don't try to be somebody you aren't.
Just for today...
"Today it is important for me to be in an environment in which honesty is practiced. I don't necessarily launch into a detailed description of my woes or my joys - that isn't always desirable or appropriate - but when asked how I'm doing , I try to ask myself what the real answer is." Courage to Change (p. 146)
"To make good choices, I must develop a mature and prudent understanding of myself that will reveal to me my real motives and intentions." Thomas Merton: No Man is an Island
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