November 11th - If you held your opinion - what might you've learned?

The story...

What a great thing it is to spend time listening to others.  Yet, I developed an ear, that's bent towards others, later in life.  Relationships can grow in a listening environment where people feel safe enough to "lower their guards."  It's hard to acknowledge that others likely raised their "guards' to protect themselves from imagined harm that I might've inflicted.  Yes, my words have hurt.

Guards, or boundaries, are important to keep us safe yet they also may be restraining us from experiencing unexpected treasure together.  The treasure box may reveal: insights, perspectives, interpretations, facts, ideas, happiness, joy, solutions, imagined realities, strong emotions, spiritual happenings, road blocks, truths, inklings of what might be...  

Wow, I can hardly wait to listen to somebody new.  Where might I find the people and environment where I might risk listening, sharing, loving, and reaping this good stuff of life?  You probably guessed it - the only church in town.

Just for today...

"In the past I tried to control people, places, and things, believing that my way was the correct way . . . my way, based on insisting upon my will, did not work. Yet I kept trying. It was an insane way to live."  Courage to Change (p. 316)

So, you've a need to give somebody else feedback.  Is it true, kind, and necessary?

November 10th - A peaceful and focused mind might ...

The story...

I woke up early in pain.  I wisely didn't  make coffee or take pain medication - I was tempted to do both.  Instead, I looked at YouTube videos to learn about stretches that might relive the pain and numbness emanating from my compressed L5-S1 disc.  I found a couple that felt good and learned about a couple that I habitually did that might've contributed to the problem.  I felt better but couldn't fall back to sleep.  (Side note:  Trust your Physical Therapist and don't accept "I can't!"

What might I do to fall asleep?  Work a cross-word puzzle, read historical-fiction, think about a favorite place or time, or pickup my old NASB bible and read the book of Ephesians - the book that reveals spiritual realities of who I truly am in Christ.  I read the book of Ephesians thoughtfully, repeated the most awesome parts, and finished in what seemed to be about 1/2 hour.  Yes, I fell asleep right with me, life, and our God - centered and focused on truth about my personal relationship-reality in Christ.

The only church in town will repeatedly hear and enjoy these realities.  The cares of the world will creep in yet they'll be overshadowed by thankfulness for the cross - the place and time when God performed his redeeming work - relationship restoration.  They'll treasure this most wonderful assurance of being found in Christ today, tomorrow, and for all eternity.   Yes, God loves the creatures He created in His image - John 3:16.

Just for today...

"Just for a minute, empty your mind of all thought. Then admit to it one single idea, and concentrate on it for a whole minute . . . The minute will seem like an hour, but at the end of this concentrated thought, the tension and confusion will have drained away..."  One Day at a Time (p. 315) 

Hmm... sounds like centered prayer 

"I used to feel that if I didn't solve a problem immediately, it would remain for all time. Now I know that everything passes eventually, the happy as well as the sad."  Courage to Change (p. 315)

November 9th - Why not ask?

The story...

I didn't get what I wanted and needed because I didn't ask?  Could it be?  Yes it be.

Why not kindly and respectfully ask for what you need or want?  In many cases justification isn't necessary.  Others can express love through meeting your needs if they know what they are.  And, they might reveal their own needs in kind.

The only church in town will be like an honest and thankful family that sees others by the light of God's revealed Word and presence.  They'll express love by caring for each other - that means they'll receive love and accept care too.  That love within their inner-person, their heart, will be expressed within an intimate-ongoing relationship with their Creator - their Sustainer.  That's the kinda graceful place where I wanna be.

Just for today...

"I tried to make them feel guilty by telling them how much I had done for them, or I complained that they never did their part. It never occurred to me that I could simply and politely ask for what I wanted . . . Today I am creating a better way of living, free of guilt and deception."  Courage to Change (p. 314)

"I seldom knew what was good for me, yet I knew what was best for others and didn't hesitate to tell them . . . I feared other people's anger and would do anything to avoid it, yet I was oblivious to my own . . . I can no longer harbor resentment and remain ignorant of my part in creating it . . . My entire life was transformed as a result of taking responsibility for myself, becoming willing to change, and taking action."  Hope for Today (p. 314)

November 8th - Do I truly perform to get that reaction?

The story...

I've been the "story teller" as long as I can remember.  I've thought that it was a personality gift that helps the group enjoy being together and to remember the past too.  Yet, maybe my primary motive was to see your reaction - the one that means you accept me - maybe even like me.  Do I really need your validation?  If so, why?

Where do I get my sense of self worth?  Does it come from my resources, my resume, my family lineage, my intellect, body, physical health, ideas about God, how I adorn my body, awards, job titles, academic degrees, competitive game performance, religious activity, or being well liked by "the group?"

The only church in town will offer God's revealed way for honestly loving you, God your Father, and your neighbor as yourself.  You can be okay within life's changing circumstances - bearing fruit that you haven't conjured up on your own.

Just for today...

"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."  Romans 15:13 NASB

"'I will do somebody a good turn and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count.' What a terrific exercise! It helps me break free of the habit of doing kind or generous things in order to get something back."  Courage to Change (p. 313)

"We both acquired the unhealthy aspects of martyrdom, managing, manipulating, and mothering . . . Today I manage my own life, not the lives of others."  Hope for Today (p. 313)

"Love of self . . . carries out the Commandment: 'Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.' We can love others, and help them, only when we are at peace with ourselves."  One Day at a Time (p. 313)

November 7th - "Think, what you're trying to do with me."

The story...

Why did I react so quickly to people and the unexpected?  Once, there was an XL bear that was moving into our campsite deep within the Boundary Waters of Minnesota.  I was quickly on alert with an adrenaline rush.  What do I do?  He, or she, didn't seem to care much for what I had to say or my situational perspective - they wanted our food.  There was his will (food), my will (self-preservation), and God's will.   

We resorted to our training - we, banged our aluminum pans to the point that they were deformed, missed with the only rock nearby, and finally made it to the canoe and out on the water.  Whose will was that?

The only church in town would be patient with people - slow to react.  The love of Christ, and His grace towards His body of believers, will characterize the personality of the group.  Yes, the group would have a personality - the personality of their Lord and Savior Jesus the Christ.   Yes, they'll have inherent sin natures that may look similar to the personality of the world they live in - they'll need love, grace and frequent reminders of who they actually are in Christ - abiding in Him.

Just for today...

Before reacting: "I stop and visualize two doors. One is marked 'Same old, same old,' or 'My will.'  The other is marked 'New and different' or 'God's will.'  This gives me time to 'Think' and to choose a healthier response . . . other people's behavior belongs to them and I don't have to make it mine by reacting to it."  Hope for Today (p. 312)

"Ironically, when I give up worrying about everyone else and focus on my own health, I give others the freedom to consider their own recovery."  Courage to Change (p. 312)

November 6th - Being respectful within community

The story...

If they all jumped off a bridge - would you jump off too?  It's a frustrating truth that people often adapt to the group - try to fit in.   The Asch Conformity experiment confirms this frustrating behavior often exhibited by us humans.  Maybe that's partly why this is one of my favorite jokes - trying to fit in with the group...

Three construction guys are sittin on an I-beam, on top of a tall building project - they're eating their lunch. 
The Italian says: “If I get another pastrami sandwich tomorrow, I'm going to jump off this building.”
The other two guys stare at him for awhile and return to their lunches.

The guy from Ohio says: "If I get another egg-salad sandwich tomorrow, I'm going to jump of this building." The other two guys stare at him for a while and return to their lunches.

The guy from California hesitates, pauses, and says: "If I get another peanut-butter sandwich tomorrow, then . . . I'm going to jump off this building tomorrow too."

The next day the Italian opens up his lunch  box and disgustingly sees the pastrami, he yells "Mamma Mia!," stands up, and jumps to his death.  The other two guys can't believe what's just happened.

The Ohioan opens his box, sees the egg-salad sandwich - he immediately jumps off to his demise too. 

The Californian is now alone, he slowly opens his box to see the peanut-butter sandwich.  He stands up and jumps over the edge like the other two guys.

Three days later at their funerals, the Italian's wife says “I thought he like those pastrami sandwiches - if he only would have told me.”  The Ohioan's wife says “It is all my fault. I thought he loved egg-salad.”  The Californian's wife says “I just don’t get it, he made his own lunches.”

Wikipedia

The only church in town will guard against the perils of group think.  What a sad state it is when people pretend to be somebody they aren't or claims the untrue.  Sure kids are going to want to please their parents.  But, it's especially sad when adults try to please the pastor or those people who are the "Ins."  People will have the freedom to be honest in the respectful environment of the only church in town.

Just for today...

"Boundaries . . . aren't rules I can enforce on others. They are standards of conduct I set for my own benefit . . .  boundaries are a civilizing ingredient in social interaction, a matter of self-respect and respect for others."  Hope for Today (p. 311)

November 5th - Am I persuading to get the reaction I want?

The story...

I've spent way too much time attempting to convince others to accept my ideas and understanding of what's right, just, or best.  My noble motive may've been to help others yet I may've been attempting to build up or promote me.  I might've justified my proclaiming and arguing as refining my thoughts, ideas, and life purpose.  Developing them wasn't enough though; I had the need to air them out in public and persuade others to accept them too.  I wish I'd spent more time listening to and seeking to understand others - I expect that I'd have grown and matured more quickly.

The following scene from Seinfeld describes Elaine and Jerry interjecting their opinions about ponies at the family gathering.  His attempts to reconcile his behavior falls flat.  He's not getting the reactions that he hopes for - comedians need that positive reaction.  Yes, there're some underlying issues with the Seinfeld cast - it's probably funny, in part, because we can relate to their amplified exhibition of unrestrained self.

   Seinfeld: The pony...

Another reason that I like the Seinfeld series is that the characters seem to like each other just the way they are - even when they behave badly.  The only church in town will be composed of a wide variety of people in different stages of life.  Many to most will be primarily focused on themselves and their own needs until they discover the better way.  There'll be need for mentoring, patience, grace, and the working out of each person's faith in the reality of community - we're worth it.  

Just for today...

"The more my group showed love and respect for me, the more I was able to love myself. Then I could begin to help love others into self-love."  Hope for Today (p. 310)

"If I speak out in order to manipulate or change another person, then their reaction becomes the focus of my attention and the measure by which I evaluate the results."  Courage to Change (p. 310)

November 4th - Reset your bearings each day

The story...

I've enjoyed years of daily readings that've helped me better understand how I might best be and do each day - living life more fully in community too.   In the past, I've started many similar initiatives yet this time it seems lasting.  Why?  I've a group of people who are on similar journeys that I meet with regularly.  And, new people join the group so that the group never forgets its purpose and how far each of us has grown.  Their stories seem part of my story.  I value each and every member of the group - this continues to surprise me.

So, just for today, how about reflecting on the quotes, their meaning for you, and how you might act to be different.  Read, understand, reflect, decide, act and be.

The only church in town will have God's Word to: read, understand, reflect on, decide upon, act on, and to be too.  The church is different from other community groups.  All are important, yet the church may be transformational with eternally realities in clearer view.

Just for today...

"...I find that the only way to have serenity is to become willing to accept the things that I cannot change. Acceptance gives me choices."  Courage to Change (p. 309)

"Consider the little mouse, how sagacious an animal it is which never entrusts his life to one hole only." Platus : Truculentus, act iv. sc. 4.

"I don't get well first and then start to mend. To become a whole person, I need to live now, take part, and become involved with others."  Hope for Today (p. 309)

"...the main source of our unhappiness is that we ourselves don't know what we want. We think we're dissatisfied with what we have, with the way we live, and the way other people act to us. . . It really adds up to this: that we're not satisfied with ourselves, and we can certainly do something about that."  One Day at a Time (p. 309)

November 3rd - Enjoying "we"

The story...

I've written before of how much I liked my Amber-Vision glasses.  When sporting my Amber-Visions, my environment looked: clearer, more vibrant, exciting, pleasant, with a touch of expectancy for the "good life."  Sure, I wasn't always wearing them.  They weren't always there when I needed them.  They didn't fit quite as good as they aged.  The effect was less noticeable as time passed.  And, they were eventually lost or replaced.

What if we had glasses that filtered our random thoughts, pre-judgements, biases, rules, fears, and worries?  I wonder what we might sense, better understand, imagine, and experience.  How would the group look - might we feel more like "we" instead of "me" and "them?"

Scripture says that the Holy Spirit actually inhabits those who place their faith and trust in the great work of their Lord and Savior Jesus the Christ.  That means that God is present within many of those imperfect, odd, clunky, and slowing maturing people within the only church in town.  Maybe we wouldn't have to "put up" with people if we tuned into the reality of the Spirit of God in both us and others.  Whoa!  I wanna look through those lenses.

Just for today...

"Detach from the problem, but not from the person . . . Detachment motivated by love can shield us from needles pain and set the stage for a truly rewarding relationship." One Day at a Time (p. 308)

"...when any member regularly dominates the sharing and meetings, the group suffers."  Courage to Change (p. 308)

November 2nd - Offering, those you're with, your best

The story...

What an odd thing to want the best from others when we aren't willing to be that "good" person ourselves.  Worse yet, what a strange thing to want other people around us to behave according to an undefined "best" standard.

What do I want from those around me?  A listening and understanding ear, respect for all, loving themself and their neighbor, honesty, curiosity, eye for beauty, willingness to learn new things, participate in and support community, courage throughout each day, an optimistic view of eternity grounded in reality, sharing with those in need, and a faith that God loves us and will do good for us within His will?

What if those in our groups took the Boy Scout Oath?  "On my honor I will do my best to do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Scout Law; to help other people at all times; to keep myself physically strong, mentally awake, and morally straight."

How about the Girl Scout Law?  "I will do my best to be honest and fair, friendly and helpful, considerate and caring, courageous and strong, and responsible for what I say and do, and to respect myself and others, respect authority, use resources wisely, make the world a better place, and be a sister to every Girl Scout."

Goodness, rooted in a good heart, is infectious.  If it starts within each of us then we'll likely all enjoy a better life - "Let it Start with Me."

The only church in town will work out their lives together according to the revealed Word of God.  It will be a reverent place of relationships - me with God in Christ, me with me, me with you, and you with you. 

Just for today...

"I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are moving." Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809 - 94)

"I will not reserve my deference and respect for outsiders whom I want to please or my pleasant expressions for those I want to impress. The people I live with are worthy of my best behavior..."  One Day at a Time (p. 307)

November 1st - Are you content and peaceful? Do you wanna be?

The story...

Last night I attended a meeting where I had no discernable anxious thoughts.  When we broke into sub-groups, I listened to each person's share to understand them with no evaluation process going on in the recesses of my mind.  There was 30 seconds left when somebody asked for my response, I shared an unembellished honest response.  My mind, heart, soul, and possibly spirit seemed peaceful and honest throughout the meeting.  To my knowledge, I didn't play any role - I was close to the real me.  It felt soo... good.

U.S. National Park Service

Is it possible to live a peaceful, restful, honest, condition in reality?  Our minds quieted with a strong sense of "okayness?"  To be in touch with our feelings without reacting to each unsettling impulse? Living in the present reality with me, others, the environment and the presence of God too?

The only church in town will share God's revealed word regarding the condition that He wants us to live our life in - the good place.  Yet, it seems people aren't generally peaceful or restful; but, we must live our lives out amongst them.  Remember the greatest commandments?   They're our highest-level purpose.

Just for today...

"All men's miseries derive from not being able to sit quiet in a room alone."   Blaise Pascal

"Sometimes a horse refuses to obey the rider's command and races out of control. My thoughts can do this too, when I frantically try, over and over, to solve a difficult problem. Riding lessons have taught me not to continually repeat a command louder, but to stop the horse, get his attention, and begin again. Likewise, when my thoughts race out of control, I need to stop."  Courage to Change (p. 306)