August 16th - Are close relationships worth it?

The story...

Where and when was I suppose to learn about the value of, and processes for, developing relationships?  I greatly valued my family but close relationships didn't happen there - I remained guarded and protected from each of them.  Didn't happen within grade school were I learned we were all different.  The neighborhood friends lasted a few years yet weren't very close.  Boy Scouts offered opportunities yet seemed to focus on activities, achievement and rewards.  They didn't happen at my local church - I assumed that the right people just weren't there.  I found closer relationships among band members and lunch-time friends yet they were situational and not very deep.  I didn't have the close boy-girl friend relationship in high school that some found.  The closer relationships that I developed during my college years were really important to me - I learned much about me and others there.  My hopes were set on that close relationship that I'd have with my future spouse - I looked forward to meeting her and growing our close relationship together.  

I'm so thankful for my relationship with my life partner.  We've grown much over the years.  I attribute much of our growth to the working of a right relationship as seen under God's bright Light.

Deer relationships - need each other?

Might the relationships we desire, to help us live a more full and satisfying life, be found within the only church in town?  You've had relationships with many people throughout your life; yet, those within a church will likely be somewhat different. There will be opportunities for: Casual friends who reflect community diversity and principles;  Close friends who you may walk side-by-side with toward the common goal;  Or, maybe a growing and deeper relationship with a spouse.  I hope that you would find your most satisfying relationship between you and your Creator - the One's that's best and lasts.

Just for today...

Were you looking for someone who meets your needs but expects little of you?  Maybe you were looking for a pet or a dog?

August 15th - Can you understand your psyche with your mind?

The story...

Last night, I experienced death in a dream - I don't remember this occurring before. The scenario, I'm riding on my cruiser motorcycle and enter into a tunnel entrance ramp onto I80.  I take a lane that ends up to be a dirt path with construction all around.  There is no way back to the lane of vehicles that are speeding along their way.  I stop due to a big ditch in front of me where other motorcycle riders are attempting to climb out to get back onto I80.  I switch lanes to the left, looking for an easier path, and notice a huge tunnel-digging machine emerging from a tunnel, under construction, behind me.  I pause and it runs over me - I feel nothing.  My mind looked for the feelings of death pains and wondered if I was dead.  It took a few seconds to remember that this was a dream and not reality. "Yes, I 'm still dreaming."  I woke up in a sort of curious state - did that vivid, participatory, dream mean something?  Do I have a latent fear that's operating behind the scene within my psyche?

Seignac, Guillaume - Cupid and Psyche

Who can understand a man's mind, soul and spirit?  God says that a man doesn't even understand his own heart.  Should I try to understand my own psyche with my own mind?  Is that even reasonable?

It's a good thing to trust God's word and bear fruit in peace.  Yes, God's word does offer the way towards peace, in the present, within the varying circumstances of life.  Praise God for how He loves His creatures.

The only church in town will preach God's revealed Word.  The people will hear about who He is, what He plans for us His creatures, and how to live a good-to-great life within His will.  God asks that we trust His Word and His provision for us, His Creatures, in Christ.

Just for today...

"Fear is the energy that activates my character defects. Sometimes my shortcomings lie dormant like a bumper car ride with the electricity turned off, and I don't even notice them."  Hope for Today (p. 228)

"How important is it? . . . I find what I might  have viewed as a disaster is really insignificant . . . I can take my disappointment or irritation at face value and refuse to dramatize it."  Courage to Change (p. 228)

"Many of our frustrations come from not making the most of ourselves and getting out of life what it has to give, ready and waiting for us to accept."  One Day at a Time (p. 228)

August 14th - The journey - take the first step, or pedal, together.

The story...

My best friend and I rode our bicycles, round trip, between Muskegon, MI and just past Mears, MI, yesterday - 71 miles.  She was training for a bike tour across Iowa and I'd ridden about 40 miles YTD.  If you want to experience a break from your routine, beauty, wonder, new feelings, a strong sense of accomplishment, and inevitable aching, then why not oil up your bike and get started?  Plan for it, do it, and enjoy it with others who are "so minded."

1. Miles 1 thru 10:  Wow, how fast I can go - yes I'll commit to the full ride.
2. Miles 11 thru 20: We can stop there on the way home - that's something to look forward to.
3. Miles 21 thru 30: I am so thankful for today - it's perfect.
4. Miles 31 thru 40: I wasn't prepared - I'm beginning to suffer more than she is - a head wind.
5. Miles 41 thru 50:  I need to stop but keep going - the dairy creamery was soo... good.
6. Miles 51 thru 60:  My head's down, trying to be efficient - average speed drops - suffering.
7. Miles 61 thru 70: I'm almost home - now I have the faith that I'll make it.
8. Last mile:  So thankful and happy - maybe a touch of joy?

It felt so good to complete the trip.  The finish point was close to a favorite pizza place - Bernie O's. Sharing a large "Twist" pizza together was great. My Apple watch congratulated me with all kinds of awards for completing the 5.5 hour trek.  I was dehydrated and it took hours to begin to feel normal again.  Yet, I'm better off having completed this long journey with my best friend.  There are tons of reasons for my joy and happiness.  What a joy it is to be alive.

The only church in town will offer opportunities for long journeys amongst friends and fellow travelers within the Body of Christ.  A place where the will of God may be worked out together.

Just for today...

"Working in unity for a common purpose does more than strengthen both partners individually. It draws them together." One Day at a Time (p. 227)

"Sometimes I need to feel the feelings and then act anyway." Courage to Change (p. 227)

"I tell myself that just as thinking doesn't make it so, neither does feeling make it so. My life is going to work out according to God's will regardless of how I feel, so why try to manipulate situations to avoid the unavoidable - human emotions?"  Hope for Today (p. 227)

August 13th - A good-to-great life story

The story...

This is my favorite day of the year, it,s the birthday of my life partner.  I find great joy in celebrating her and her life - we've both come far together.  I truly love her and am soo... thankful for our marriage relationship.  We've learned and loved much together.

The elements of a good story - Donald Miller

The only church in town well love telling and retelling the greatest story ever told.  The Son of Man and Creator who walked this earth and disclosed much of Himself to His creation.  They will celebrate His birth, death, resurrection, and offer of salvation to all who believe in The Gospel.

Just for today...

"...examine all the things that are hurting me at the moment.  I will challenge their validity to see if there is any basis for my bitterness - or for that dread and fear. I'll probably discover, to my delight, that I have, right at this moment, more than enough reasons to be happy and contented."  One Day at a Time (p. 226)

"Have I put someone on a pedestal? Am I encouraging anyone to have an exaggerated view of me?"  Courage for Change (p. 226)

"I was still clinging to the notion that Something - in this case a sum of money - was going to allow me to manage my life in my own way and on my terms . . .  When I rely on self-will, I severely limit all of my resources.  When I turn to God, those limitations fall away."  Hope for Today (p. 226)

August 12th - Build together

The story...

The new furniture manufacturing job required leadership, managerial and individual contributor skills.  The role required project management, problem solving, extra time, learning, trusting, accountability, mentoring, encouragement, and a winner's mindset.  People were both watching and relying on me - I was a necessary part of something bigger.

After I adapted and better fit into the furniture building community, I deeply appreciated being part of the goal oriented organization.  I was most surprised at how much I enjoyed spending Saturday mornings with fellow co-workers as we bonded, rubbed shoulders, freely worked, laughed, listened, and more closely shared life together.  Sure, I was away from my home and family; yet, I was living and growing with other people while working towards a greater good - part of a productive community.  Those Saturday morning real-life experiences are precious to me now.

Built together

As we enter into the community of the only church in town, I hope that we'll find comfort, quiet and peace in reality - true rest.  It'll be a place where we seek to more honestly understand others and discover how we might best fit in.  Being quiet and listening with our ears, hearts, and spirits too - listening for opportunities - taking first steps.  Being okay with push back from others - letting them be. Walking humbly with the Lord our God. Truly, His aim and way is best by definition.

Just for today...

"...let me learn to accept things as they are, and stop manipulating them into changing. Let me look for a wiser approach to life from myself, not from other people."  One Day at a Time (p. 225)

August 11th - How are you doing inside, outside, and in actuality?

The story...

The group leader challenged the leaders and teens to evaluate how they performed the games on three different levels: inside you, outside you, and the actual game score - what a helpful tool for all of us.  

1. Were my inward thoughts positive and directed toward the game situation?
2. Did I encourage others and treat them the way that I wanted to be treated?
3. What was the actual game score?

Cornhole - fun game played shoulder-to-shoulder

The only church in town would have a pastor who would both share God's revealed word and the truth of how they've worked it out within the actualities of their own life.  That's the kind of person who people will seek out for advise and counseling.  A guy that you might honestly and fruitfully walk side by side with throughout your life journey.

The church organization would be a respite where people would be encouraged to work out their own faith in actuality - first inwardly, and secondly outwardly alongside others.  If we keep score, then it behooves us to keep score on all three levels.  Winners in the game of life are found in Christ - FREE from the tyrannical ruler of self!

Just for today...

"Suppose I feel like a prisoner, trapped in an irksome way of life, as so many of us do. What am I doing about it? My obvious impulse is to try to manipulate the things and people around me into being more acceptable to me. Do I argue, rage and weep to make my spouse behave in a way that I think will make me happier? Happiness isn't won that way."  One Day at a Time (p. 224)

"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."  Romans 12:21 NASB

"It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery."  Galatians 5:1 NASB

August 10th - Is it good for you to dwell in the past?

The story...

An unexpected life victory occurred during my 64th year of life.  I traveled on my motorcycle to a location where my family annually vacationed together.  In the past, visits like this, would trigger fond memories that I longed and even ached over.   Camping sites, trails, kids doing similar things, and the scene of  that one time long ago. Often, the longing would be linked with a deep feeling of loss - something that I couldn't return to no matter what.  Yet, on this particular visit, I more fully enjoyed the present.  I didn't forget the past memories but I didn't camp with them either - they seemed to help color the present more vibrantly. 

You might be speculating as to whether the loss of those "good ole day" strong feelings is either good or bad.  Yet, if we spent enough time actually understanding each other, I expect we'd agree that living more fully in our present reality is the better way.

Netflix created a beautiful limited TV series called "The Queen's Gambit."  In one scene, Beth says: "I feel safe in an entire world with just 64 squares."  She developed an obsessive compulsion that helped her cope with reoccurring childhood memories.

I hope that people who attend the only church in town, will be compelled, and feel safe enough, to relax their coping skills. In a more rested and peaceful state, they may resist those compelling habits, and open their eyes more fully as to what's really going on.  They might risk putting their chessboard, with it's 64 spaces, back in the box.  Maybe their soul, mind, and spirt will compel them to pack up their campsite and begin walking again on their life journey.  What a wonderful thing to walk alongside a person who's living life more fully in the present - where God and life are.

Just for today...

"As a child I lived in a fantasy world where to think it so would make it so. Combined with my need for perfectionism and self-control, I believed I could think myself out of reacting emotionally to people and situations.  I carried these misperceptions into adulthood. In my denial, I thought I could make myself not feel anything. I had practiced being tough for a long time."  Hope for Today (p. 223)

August 9th - "If it's all the same with you..."

The story...

It's never the same with me or with you - we're always different.  As the old saying (idiom) goes, the only things we can be certain of are death and taxes.  It's true that we we'll all live out our lives and our body will die.  Some seem to die early and others suffer late into their 90's yet we all meet a common fate. Then...

Why do many think that it's a reasonable thing to try to fix, manage, and control others in an effort to experience their imagined "best" life?  Does everybody need to behave the way we'd like them to in order for us to be happy?  Can we all be okay with each other without attempting to mold others into our own vision of what's "best?"  Can we be okay with ourselves when others want us to be different - "if it's all the same with you."

The Dream, Capitalism and Virtue Working Together?

The only church in town will offer dignity and respect to everybody who walks through their doors.  They'd proclaim our being God's creatures who're created differently.  He's sovereignly worked out His way throughout the ages - enjoying a relationship with those whose hearts were/are right with Him.  He enjoys, and is a Father to, each person who walks with Him in Christ.  He provided the means for us all to be right with God - loved just as we are. Grace, grace, wonderful grace...

Just for today...

"Can I express myself today, free of expectations of how others will react?"  Hope for Today (p. 222)

"I was too busy trying to be what I thought others wanted me to be, afraid people wouldn't accept me  the way I am."  Courage to Change (p. 222)

"There are many good reasons to keep myself from harboring resentful thoughts. They can grow into savage attacks on other human beings . . . emotional scars."  One Day at a Time (p. 222)

August 8th - If self-defeating behaviors go away, what will take their place?

The story...

When I was a kid, mosquito bites would swell up and itch like crazy.  And, I'd itch them like crazy.  My mom would say, "Stop doing that, it'll just make it worse."  Truly they did get worse the more I scratched them.  My focus on the mosquito bites, and that satisfying relief from scratching, distracted me from living more fully in the present.

It's not hard to imagine that our known sins are kind of like itches that come alive when we scratch the hell out of them.  It feels good, but not for long.  The scratching seems almost involuntary and necessary for our well being or survival.

What's it like on the other side of life if we resist the urge to scratch our itches and become more self-aware in the present?  Is a life like that better, doable, and sustainable?

The only church in town would preach that your old-sinful nature is going to scratch itches no matter how hard you try to stop 'em.  Like whac-a-mole, a new one will just pop up and take the other's place.  And, you'll likely find a bit of pride too in your efforts to be good: "What a good boy am I!"

Cat Whac-a-Mole

The only church in town will preach the unmeasurable value of living out a loving relationship with the Lord your God through the atonement that only He can provide - GRACE.  Each of our relationships with God, is the source of the lasting good life.  Why not trust God and walk humbly with Him today?  He created us the way we are and enjoys us - even those rebellious rascals like me.  I won't willingly go back to that old Whac-a-Mole life.  I'm so thankful that God restores our relationship continuously in a real loving relationship - He seems to be molding me into the better man He created me to BE.

Just for today...

"My great fear is this:  If I shed many characteristics that stand in my way, what will be left? . . . The desire to grow and heal has brought me to this uncomfortable point, because I am tired of the way I have been . . . I can take all the time I need."  Courage to Change (p. 221)

August 7th - Reflecting, Is now more important than then?

The story...

If we're able to reflect upon our lives in eternity, which decade might we value the most?

• 1st, Grew, trusted and dependent on my parents, learned about my capabilities.
• 2nd, Entered relationships outside my family and community - chose a career.
• 3rd, Became more interdependent and lived more outside my family circle.
• 4th, Honed my career and tried to pass my values on to my kids.
• 5th, Accepted my physical decline and limitations - tried out my imagined best life.
• 6th, Living more self aware, valuing relationships, and appreciating peace and rest.
• 7th, ?

Maybe all the reflections of my life will fill my eternal eyes or heart with feeling, understanding and love.  Personally, I am so thankful for every part of life, especially the meaningful relationships.

Marmalade - Reflections Of My Life (1969) 

The only church in town wouldn't be perfect nor best meet anyone's needs and wants.  Each person is wonderfully unique and living within their own season of life.  I can only imagine how the Word of God, the Spirit of Christ, and loving relationships might work out both there and in eternity.

Just for today...

Trust God's revealed Word - it's best and everlasting..

Appreciate and value your close relationship(s) in actuality.

Be your own best friend, treat yourself good, be patient with you, and apply this source of strength towards loving others.  That's likely where the good stuff of life can be found.

August 6th - What does a really good day look like in your daydreams?

The story...

There was a summer, during my middle-school years, when I didn't do much.  I delivered my daily newspapers, participated in family stuff, watched too much TV and daydreamed. Strangely, I remember contemplating my rather dull summer while thinking it really didn't make any difference - the summer was nearly over too for those who actually lived out the type of summer I hoped for.  Yes, that chunk of life was over for everyone.

Daydream - Lovin' Spoonful

What would I tell the teenage me If I could sit down with him back then?  Would I tell him about the good circumstances that awaited?  Would I tell the rather short me that I'd grow to be 6' 4" tall?  Would I tell him that it was better than he thought?  Would I share an appreciation fir the good that he actually had available?  Or would I tell him to focus on the greatest two commandments in the bible:  Love the Lord your God with all your heart, strength, and mind.  And, love your neighbor as yourself?  I expect what I really needed was to understand, be understood, and to learn to love and be loved just as I was.

Would you rather be loved in poor circumstances or unloved in favorable circumstances?  In my humble opinion, my best days are those where I'm loving my neighbors as myself.  A day when I'm a best friend to me which seems to serve as a source of strength for loving other people.  And, I can only love me if I'm right with, or at peace with, God the Father.

People attending the only church in town will hear about how they too might be right with God the Father through His provision.  The bible says faith in His Son's redeeming death, burial and resurrection positions people in Christ - a place where we can be rightly related to God and enjoy a most wonderful condition both now and forevermore. (Ephesians 1)

Just for today...

"I would put aside critical thoughts of others. I would notice interesting things - the expressions on people's faces, a plant growing on my windowsill, the grace and charm of a child, an arrangement of clouds. Today there are wonders all around me, if I will open my eyes and enjoy them."  One Day at a Time (p. 219)

August 5th - I needed to be asked.

The story.,.

Ottumwa, Iowa was my hometown - about 30,000 people.  My employment options were limited yet I really appreciated and learned much from both my paper routes and my job as a drug-store delivery boy.  There were other kids whose jobs had different pay, hours, relationships, and location.  Yet, I was thankful for the job that I had.  I knew both people who had the jobs before me and they both asked me if I'd like to have the job. 

Yes, I'm comfortable with my life patterns and often do need to be asked to make changes.  After I'm asked, accept, and learn my new role, I often ask myself, why did I need to be asked?  Was I really free to choose before being asked?  Was I behaving complacently without accurately assessing my condition and environment?  Was I really self aware as to what was going on?

Since people in the USA are free to move within the country, it's reasonable to assume that our current job and community is not the best possible fit; however, relationships are real, valuable, and are lost with each job or community shift.

My current home in Western Michigan is great and I've no plans of leaving.  What if someone asks me to switch communities in order to fulfill a new job or role?  Would I be sensitive enough to the Will of God that I'd choose the better life-course correction?

Switching churches won't be a problem when there's only one church in town; yet, the decision to trust God and engage in the church community will be a big one for every soul who enters their doors.  Their imagined self, that they've crafted and adapted throughout their life, will be at risk there.  They'll hear about a better-to-best life where they can be free to be their truer selves. "It was for freedom that Christ set us free."  Galatians 5:1

Just for today...

"No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched."  George Jean Nathan

"As with every other aspect of my life, I didn't believe I deserved better."  Hope for Today (p. 218)

August 4th - Express yourself - really

The story...

Yesterday, I listened to a guest speaker describe his perceived value of knowing the difference between his imagined self and his real self.  Yes, we all likely developed and refined an image of who we were to "better" cope with the realities of life. 

Our need to belong to, or fit in with, any group often leads to a sort of group think - a place where pleasing people and conforming to group norms is very important.  Bruce Lee describes his value of expressing himself within the following video.

Isn't it best to belong to and fit into the group that you identify with?  Isn't it polite and respectful to think and behave like the group?  You did have some control over the decision to join the group and possibly even become a "member."  

Visitors to the only church in town will likely find a different world view - a place where they might express a more true self.  It seems they'd start with themselves, then with others, and ideally with God too.  Or, it could be another place where they'd merely conform to the new group norms - if they feel group acceptance then they're okay?  Maybe they aren't okay if they merely fit in.

For me, it seems that we'd all want to be our true selves walking in a actual relationship with our Creator and God - being okay each day and expectantly living with eternity in view.  Yet, that means that our imagined self would need to be transformed in a sort of death.  Our imagined self, or ego, seems to want an environment that conforms with, and bolsters, this image that's been developed and refined throughout a lifetime.

Just for today...

"'But he knew what I expected,' not realizing that it may have been precisely for this reason that he rebelled and acted otherwise."  One Day at a Time (p. 217)

"Since my parents were my main authorities in my life until then, I expected my boss to treat me the same way my parents did.  I acted on the expectation by shutting down in fear.  If I felt uncomfortable about something in the workplace, I kept quiet. When I felt my employee rights were violated, I stuffed my anger."  Hope for Today (p. 217)

August 3rd - Offer Dignity and Respect

The story..

Being the fourth child of the family, with a rebellious spirit, I tended to reject my parents', well intentioned, efforts to control my life.  When faced with resistance, my parents gave me enough "slack" to work out my own way in life.  I learned some of the things that they tried to teach me by experiencing the consequences of my behavior.  I modified, adapted, rolled with the punches, and eventually trusted God's Word regarding who I was and might be in actuality.

I tried to teach my kids what I'd learned so that they might avoid some of the struggles and pain that I went through - I certainly didn't want them to miss out on the freedoms that I valued.  Our parenting methods were a subtle version of  fix, manage, and control - they didn't result in the type of fruit we expected right away - they seemed to rebel too.  I expect that each person does need to be allowed the dignity and respect to work out their own lives. 

The only church in town would know that only God's Will is best.  Thank goodness He did reveal directly, and through prophets, what we do need to know to live a good life within the Will of God.  Congregates would be able to see the fruit of the Spirit of God worked out in other people's lives and witness fruit born within their own lives too.  The only church in town would be a respite from the comings-and-goings of this world - a place to rest in the reality of God's Will.

Just for today...

"My happiness cannot possibly depend on my forcing changes in somebody else. Nor does my misery come from anyone but myself."  One Day at a Time (p. 216)

"... I don't accept my mother as she is either! I want her to embrace my way of thinking, start saying no to people, and not to get so upset about unimportant issues. Basically I want her to think as I do . . . self-righteousness, arrogance, and control."  Hope for Today (p. 216)

"I am able to face the reality of the past, not to place blame or wallow in self-pity but to learn from it." Courage to Change (p. 216)

"Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man does with what happens to him."  Aldous Huxley

August 2nd - Active Verbs for Living a Good Life?

The story...

Assuming we've an idea as to what a "good life" is; then, how do we live it out?  What active verbs might best describe how to "learn to live?"  My brainstorming exercise resulted in the following twenty-four active verbs: Abide, Ask, Be, Blog, Build, Encourage, Enjoy, Forgive, Imagine, Invest, Leave, Listen, Love, Plant, Pray, Read, Receive, Sense, Sing, Stretch, Thank, Trust, Wail, and Water.  It took awhile to build a longer list and then reduce it down to 24 - my favorite number.  Yes, living can be overwhelmingly complex or as simple as...

Somebody asked me to volunteer to help out with a youth mentoring organization in July 2023.   A good friend of mind encouraged me to say yes.  I entered too much information on the application and met with the program director.  Their mission is to mentor at-risk kids to increase the likelihood of them living a good life.  It's a worthy mission, I'm available, it seems like it'd be part of a good life, so I said yes.  Is my decision part of  God's Will?  Yes, saying yes was a reasonable and good response - good life building results seem likely.

People will have opportunities, within the only church in town, to engage in a life that's bigger than self.  Yes, there'll be opportunities to exercise all twenty-four active verbs.  God's Will is certainly worked out beyond the boundaries of the church so I expect that our opportunities to apply these active verbs are endless.

Just for today...

"When my thoughts are centered on learning to live, I will be less tempted to involve my mind with the thoughts of how others live."  One Day at a Time (p. 215)

August 1st - I've come far and I'm not going back.

The story...

Twelve of the positive changes I've enjoyed during the past few years include: 

• Less forming or sharing opinions for what I think is "best' for them
• Less scratching my metaphorical uncomfortable "itches" with food, activities, games, alcohol etc.
• More frequent prayer and quiet meditation - enjoying more peace and rest
• Seeking to understand others before being understood - it's more natural now
• Accepting reality as opposed to developing and arguing for what oughta be
• Abiding in a state of rest and peace as opposed to one of amped-up emotions
• Consciously setting and relaxing personal boundaries
• Living more in the present and obsessing less about the past and future
• Saying no without an obligation or need to explain myself
• Communicating my message once - resisting the urge to convince others with repetition
• Loving more and accepting love from others
• Valuing and building closer, less-guarded, relationships

"+" life change decisions like being strong

There were reasons I behaved differently than the above.  I've refused temptations to revert to my past ways when triggered by whatever - I don't intend to go back.  Praise God for the changes that He seems to have worked into my life both directly and through those who are His.  Why choose to revert to a less fruitful life?  You know the answer.

People attending the only church in town will witness the Word of God worked out through other's lives.  They'll be more conscious of what their life is and what it might be.  They'll learn to trust God.

Oh the vastness of God and His creation - I can only imagine.  We're His creatures and He's the Creator.  I hope that all men will choose to abide in Christ - safe in the hands of God.

Just for today...

"I do not respond well when someone tries to impose their will on me; why have I tried  to impose my will on those around me?  There is only one person I'm responsible for, and that is me."  Courage to Change (p. 214)

"Little by little I can change my world - not by escaping to a new one with the same old me, but by making a new me out of the old one."  One Day at a Time (p. 214)

"My spirit is set free each time I take the risk  to express myself to people who understand how I think and feel."  Hope for Today (p. 214)

July 31st - If stronger triceps muscles help then how might...

The story...

It scrolled upon my computer, an ad for a pulley with weight lifting attachments that'd allow me to do pull-down exercises in my basement.  It seemed liked a simple and doable strength solution to my lower back limitation - it was less than $30.  Where would I put it?  One click and it was purchased.

I took down the heavy punching bag, that I didn't use, and it was situated just right.  The change to my weight lifting regime was both satisfying and fruitful - my triceps have never been stronger.  Basketball shooting was never my strong point - I was surprised at how much easier, accurate and precise my shots are now.  I continue to be surprised at how some everyday tasks are easier and more satisfying too.

It seems most people don't do strength training - "It's just not my thing."  It does require 25 minutes, two or three times per week.  For me, I listen to my spiritual mentor, Charles Stanley, on the TV while I'm lifting.- I come up from the basement better off physically, emotionally, and spiritually then when I went down.

We're all different and it takes time to make sustainable changes within our lives.  Until the change works out in actualities and habits, it's hard to know how life will be different.  For me, I don't want to give up weight lifting or my motorcycle.  I've a friend who wouldn't give up her quilting, another who wouldn't give up her garage sales, another guy who is passionate about his guns, another who loved her gardening, and another who wouldn't give up her pickleball leagues. 

The only church in town would allow opportunities for every person to apply their God given gifts, abilities, and interests.  And, they'd hear about life-giving changes that people experience along their life journeys.  They'd also hear how the Spirit of God intervened before significant real-life changes started.  If it was from God, you won't want to go back to the old-stale stuff.  I guess it depends on who your master is - you or your Lord.

Just for today...

"When I take one day, one moment, one task at a time and really concentrate on it, a lot more gets done."  Courage to Change (p. 213)

"I must learn to accept myself as I am. Everything good I can bring about must begin with that."  One Day at a Time (p. 213)

"I reaffirm that God is a Power greater than myself with thoughts and feelings very different from mine. This allows me to set my thoughts aside and take time to focus on His thoughts and how He wants to express them through me."  Hope for Today (p. 213)

July 30th - "Don't worry be happy?"

The story...

In June, 1981, I visited my family in Whitehall, MI, for a weekend vacation.  I'd recently joined a wonderful group of believers who regularly studied their bibles together in Oak Ridge, TN.  They were working out their faith in ways that were new, and filled with unexpected goodness, to me.  The leader, Bill Job, was freely sharing the reality of his own faith walk as he shared God's revealed Word.  I'd decided to follow Jesus - no turning back, no turning back.  I first heard about the concept of God's grace through Bill.

I shared what I learned, and decided, with my dad on our way back to the cabin for lunch.  My dad paused, turned to me and said, "It sounds good, but you just can't live like that . . . life just doesn't work that way.  You can try."

Why not try to live a good righteous life, do your best, and try to be happy in all circumstances?  Seriously, why not?  This is a question worthy of pondering.  Was my dad right?  Is it impossible even with our best efforts?  Like many perplexing questions, and answers, he seemed to be both right and wrong.  I learned that I can't, no matter how hard I try, yet God can.  He changed me from the inside out.  He changed my heart and my will was bent to trust Him.  My "good" life's grown through ongoing prayer and communion with my Father in Christ.  I thankfully praise God for His might, power, grace, and love for even me.  Yet, my "self" is still on the "shelf" - readily available whenever...

I expect that the only church in town will offer knowledge, relationships, and opportunities for each attender to trust God and quit trying to be good on their own.  When they do, there's no turning back - God is faithful to His Word.

Just for today...

"I choose happiness and then abandon my choice at the first sign of trouble.  How deep can my commitment be if I allow even slight obstacles to rob me of my sense of well-being? . . . If I have a long-standing habit of responding to problems by feeling like a victim, it may not be easy to stand by my decision to be happy."  Courage to Change (p. 212)

July 29th - Live a peaceful or exciting life?

The story...

People in their 60's often tell me about the exciting things they want to do with their free time that wasn't available within the last few stages of life.  Attention to their duties of life prevented them from living the "good life" that they expect to experience with that RV, second house, doting on grand children, extended vacations, bigger barn, hobby, tower building, financial investments, physical endurance feats, novel writing, life trophy...  Now, they're "free" to live the good life - self actualizing.

Why was this "good life" not available to them during the bulk of their more productive and capable years?  I expect that this question is worthy of self reflection - getting to the root cause(s).

Some people seem to resent my vision of the "good life" - living a peaceful life humbly walking with God in the present - enjoying interactions with people, creation, and His presence.  Practicing loving the Lord my God with all my heart, mind and soul and my neighbor as myself.  That seems like a worthy overarching goal - a North Star.

I hope that people in the only church in town would be free to be honest with themselves and the reality of what God's revealed for us.  His Word says He desires to enjoy those whose hearts are His and that we can enjoy walking humbly with Him too in the midst of all life circumstances.  The pull of the actualities of people's lives into "the world" will continually challenge truths revealed in God's Word.  Yet, they'll witness the effects of "That Than Which There is No Greater."  Why not trust God and be thankful?

Just for today...

"Quiet can be achieved with complete silence, but if the silence has in it even a trace of anger or hostility, it loses all its power . . . Most angry words have no basis in logic or reason anyway, so why need they hurt me?"  One Day at a Time (p. 211)

July 28th - Living in the present - it takes time to live there.

The story...

"What are you thinking about right now?"  I remember asking that question to multiple people who answered with their response: "nothing."  Since I seemed to be constantly thinking about things, I interpreted their feedback as not being very self-aware, hiding their thoughts, self-medicated, or merely being a non-contemplative personality.  To my knowledge, it never crossed my mind that they might be living in, and experiencing, the "present" as opposed to living in the "past" or "future."

How did I wake up to the value of living in the present?  A significant personal issue led me along a path of brokenness and obsession over probable causes for the turmoil and those who contributed to the problem.  I was obsessing over the situation and it was affecting me negatively - physically, mentally, spiritually, and relationally.  I met with a group of people who had experienced similar life brokenness and they taught me the value of living in the present where life, the Spirit of God, and real relationships are worked out in reality.

I practiced, living in the present, while hiking in the woods.  When obsessive thinking about the past or future began to weigh heavy upon my shoulders, I literally brushed them off with my hand.  I focused on my five senses and experiencing what was going on in my environment, my heart and my spirit too.  The process of "living in the present" took about two years to integrate into the actualities and patterns of my life - what a wonderful change for the whole me.

I've been told that living too much in the past leads to depression and that living too much in the future leads to prolonged anxiety - that rang true to me.  Living in the present, where actual life and God are, clearly seems to be the best way to experience reality, relationships, love, and the seemingly illusive good and satisfying life.  You just might find all joy and hope there too (Romans 15:13).

The people visiting the only church in town may witness love and the value of living within God's presence.  He did all the heavy lifting to forgive all the sin that separated us from living "the good life" in the "present" walking humbly with God (Micah 6:8) - true peace and rest.

Just for today...

"A stonecutter may strike a rock ninety-nine times with no apparent effect, not even a crack on the surface.  Yet with the hundredth blow, the rock splits in two. It was not the final blow that did the trick, but all that had gone before . . . The results may have revealed themselves abruptly, but I know that all those months of faith and hard work made the change possible."  Courage to Change (p. 210)

July 27th - Are my boundaries helping me?

The story...

I've frequently bounced into other people's boundaries without a conscious understanding of what they were or why they were built.  Maybe a definitive book on boundaries, backed up by research, would be helpful.  The twelve chapter headings might be titled:

• Barbed wire
• Body armor
• Breakable
• Concrete
  
• Criticized
• Expanding
• God's
• Low
• Missing
• Movable
• Safety
• Transparent

Honestly, I need personal boundaries. It seems reasonable that I'd actually clarify them and review them periodically - I might even need a new one.  Boundaries seem to help us develop those healthy relationships that are key ingredients to the "good life." 

Yes, there'd be healthy boundaries within the only church in town.  People would be allowed to be themselves and grow at their own pace.  Visitors will likely enter the church with boundaries that help them cope with and work out their current lives.  Those boundaries will probably change as the Spirit of God penetrates their lives and as they grow within the safety and grace of God.

Just for today...

"I believed it was my responsibility to help others who could not or did no want to help themselves . . . Doing for other didn't allow them them to be responsible; it enabled them to be irresponsible. Caretaking robs others of the self-esteem that comes from struggling with and conquering the challenges that God has planned for their lives."  Hope for Today (p. 209)

"We must alter our lives in order to alter our hearts, for it is impossible to live one way and pray another."  William Law

July 26th - Why listen to them?

The story...

Some people, with peaceful hearts, do seem to love other people better and more naturally listen to them.  Yet, it seems that most people, who are primarily focused on themselves, have a hard time learning to listen well.  I experienced most of my life trying to be a good listener yet my mind naturally drifted back to me an what I wanted to communicate.  I practiced self-help listening methods to the point that most people would claim that I was a good listener.  The benefits of my efforts to try to be a good listener were illusive.  The truth was, I was more interested in me than them or what they had to say.

Manfred Mann's Earth Band (1976)

My heart has changed and I now do love other people more and truly want to understand them and their stories.  I believe it's a work of the Spirit of God in my life.  Praise God that I'm freer to love and be loved.

Why would I choose to return to a more self-focused life?  I greatly value my relationships and listening to better understand.  Seeking first to understand truly is an important part of both starting and growing relationships.

Yes, I'd choose to attend the only church in town, share the Word of God, and work out my faith with co-sojourners.  I am a Christ-one and will be no other.

Just for today...

"As a child in a _______ home, I wasn't encouraged to share my viewpoints. When I did, I didn't feel as though anyone was listening. Someone always ended up walking away hurt or angry. . .  I've learned not to use my authority to push my viewpoint or to punish someone for disagreeing with me. I've also learned to avoid controversy by listening and encouraging others to share their viewpoints when making decisions."  Hope for Today (p. 208)

"We can't seem to get around to thinking about what we may be doing that damages us. . . Do I seek relief from my resentments by retaliation, instead of forgiveness? . . .What shall it profit a man to be right if he thereby make an enemy?"  One Day at a Time (p. 208)

July 25th - What do we do when we don't get needed approval?

The story...

It felt good to receive good grades in elementary school.  It was easy to remember the assignment and recite it back to the teacher. John, Jill and I had the best memories in the class.  I could look at the letter grade on my paper and quickly compare it with those around me - I was better.  This changed in middle school - learning required more practice and there were more people. 

My seventh grade math class was situated in a trailer outside the school and the curriculum allowed kids to learn at their own pace.  When I got too far ahead, my teacher asked me to help those who were struggling.  I tried to help one particular guy, he seemed to resent my efforts and stole my set of colored pencils.  He and I were very different and naturally gravitated to different groups of 7th or 8th graders.  I sought respect within my academics and he from being like the cool "tough" kids.

I don't remember studying at home - I must've yet I don't remember it.  In high school, I took a strange sort of pride from never taking text books home - the academic role didn't seem to fit me anymore.  I made few attempts to please my teachers.  It was almost as though I rejected my teacher's authority before they rejected and "graded" me.  College was a similar experience yet most of the students in the engineering curriculum were naturally intelligent and motivated to learn.

It seems that we all desired approval yet I tended to reject the evaluators before they rejected me.   Yes, it seems I feared rejection and built a sort of protective shield.  I felt group acceptance by being the story-telling guy rather than working out and living out the more real and natural me.  

The only church in town would offer the grace necessary for loving people as they are.  People will feel more safe and loved when they take their masks off and find people who they can related to and grow with.  Might accepted and loved people more freely receive the love of God and His workings through other people? Yes they can!

Just for today...

"Why did I continue to deny my own feelings to gain someone's approval? . . . Was I able to face the real me behind the people-pleasing image?  Do I say what I mean and mean what I say?" Courage to Change (p. 207)

"As we abandon the role of accuser, judge and manager, the home climate shows marked improvement.  A pleasant, cheerful environment..."  One Day at a Time (p. 207)

July 24th - My will isn't God's will yet God created me with a will.

The story...

This Friday's trip to Ludington State Park, on on my new yellow-KLR motorcycle, was wonderful.  I rode a new route and saw things that I'd previously ignored.  It seems I was often rushing in a quest to either get to a better place or to rush home as quickly as possible. 

Wow! Ludington Pumped Storage Plant

The weather was good, the people were friendly, the waitress was extra helpful, and the state park looked just like I left it - there were nice improvements.  Yet, the highlight of my trip plan was to cast a yellow-red Daredevil spoon off of the Lake Hamlin sand dunes - I imagined catching that Northern Pike. I planned for it, willed it, hiked there, had the stuff, and even the weather to make it happen. Yes, I was attempting to "bend" reality according to my will.  To my dismay, the area had too many boats and my secondary fishing site had two people wading in the bay!  My imagined reality wasn't going to happen.

I prayed a short prayer of thankfulness and remembered that God's will wasn't my will  Obviously, He has a different and righter plan than I could imagine.  So, I walked back to the parking lot with maybe five casts - silver, #3 Mepps spinner, no buck tail - along the way.  I sat down on a bench and closed my eyes for a few minutes.  The scene was comfortable, peaceful, and the sounds of the kids playing at the beach were joyful.  I gathered myself, picked up my rod, and sauntered along the shoreline to the dam.  There was an old man fishing below the dam who shared that he had no luck.  He wished me the best and on my third cast I caught the Pike I had hoped for - it was a joyful experience.

I do wear a big shoe...

There were always reasons for doing what I've done in my life.  I've made a series of reasonable choices, within the confines of my environment(s) and capabilities, to end up here.  Good situations sometimes resulted in increasing pride and smugness that led to downfalls while trials often resulted in a better, more capable, and thankful, me.  I'm thankful for everything about my life thus far.

God made us with a will to work out our life yet He intervenes through His sovereign will as He wishes.  We can ignore Him and reap the consequences of a self-willed life, trying to bend reality, or trust Him and experience increasing heart-felt joy and peace.  How could our will ever come close to the will of God for our lives?

The only church in town would share God's revealed truth for both eternity and this life too.  They'd share scripture like 1 Corinthians 15 so that people might hear and believe in God's provision for us, His creatures.  What an awesome wonder to be able to humbly and rightly walk with God in Christ. 

Just for today...

"At that moment of smug self-righteousness, God decided to send me a spiritual awakening. He told me that perhaps they understood more about Him than I did.  After all, they were the ones who were happy and free, filled with peace. Perhaps I could learn something from them if I opened my mind enough to listen and opened my heart enough to risk getting involved..."  Hope for Today (p. 206)