August 16th - Are close relationships worth it?

The story...

Where and when was I suppose to learn about the value of, and processes for, developing relationships?  I greatly valued my family but close relationships didn't happen there - I remained guarded and protected from each of them.  Didn't happen within grade school were I learned we were all different.  The neighborhood friends lasted a few years yet weren't very close.  Boy Scouts offered opportunities yet seemed to focus on activities, achievement and rewards.  They didn't happen at my local church - I assumed that the right people just weren't there.  I found closer relationships among band members and lunch-time friends yet they were situational and not very deep.  I didn't have the close boy-girl friend relationship in high school that some found.  The closer relationships that I developed during my college years were really important to me - I learned much about me and others there.  My hopes were set on that close relationship that I'd have with my future spouse - I looked forward to meeting her and growing our close relationship together.  

I'm so thankful for my relationship with my life partner.  We've grown much over the years.  I attribute much of our growth to the working of a right relationship as seen under God's bright Light.

Deer relationships - need each other?

Might the relationships we desire, to help us live a more full and satisfying life, be found within the only church in town?  You've had relationships with many people throughout your life; yet, those within a church will likely be somewhat different. There will be opportunities for: Casual friends who reflect community diversity and principles;  Close friends who you may walk side-by-side with toward the common goal;  Or, maybe a growing and deeper relationship with a spouse.  I hope that you would find your most satisfying relationship between you and your Creator - the One's that's best and lasts.

Just for today...

Were you looking for someone who meets your needs but expects little of you?  Maybe you were looking for a pet or a dog?

May 20th - The Marriage Contract

The story...

I'm so thankful for my life partner - she said yes 💖.  The marriage contract is a wonderful thing - to love each other, just as we are and will be, till death do we part.  She teaches me to love a bit more each day - I'm so thankful for her...

A marriage contract might work out otherwise.  Meat Loaf sang a wonderful duet "Paradise By The Dashboard Lights."  The protagonist is obsessively thinking and lusting over the girl.  She agrees with the caveat: "yes or no? . . . I gotta know right now . . . Will you make me happy the rest of my life? . . . Will you love me forever?"  He swears on his mother's grave that he'll love her till the end of time - he signs the contract.  Then he prays for the end of time so he can end his time with her.  He'll never break his promise or end his vow.

His relationship didn't seem sustainable.  Love's veiled promise unfulfilled.  Yet, he doesn't break his promise - he suffers along.  What'll he find when he enters the doors of the only church in town?  Justification for divorce, new ways for coping, a diversion, or a new method for changing her?

Within the only church in town, he'd learn about the potential death of his old nature - co-crucified and risen with the Son of God.  He's free from the tyrannical ruler of self -  a new man by the Power of God - yet the contract remains.  Rather than trying to convince her to change, she witnesses the power of God's transformation and may allow God to perform a great work within her heart too.  God does the heavy lifting - there's nothing we can do but trust Him and watch Him work - wow...

Wouldn't that be a great ending stanza to that song?  I don't think so, the song's too good the way it is.  Do you have a favorite song of transformation?  

Just for today...

"Before obsessive thinking takes hold, there is usually a point at which I have to make a choice.  I can opt to mentally toy with a subject that has held my mind hostage in the past or..."  Courage to Change (p. 121)

"Serenity is not abut the end of pain.  It's about my ability to flourish peacefully no matter what life brings my way."  Hope for Today (p. 141)

Lust, forgetful of future suffering, hurries us along the forbidden path."  Claudius Claudianus

March 10th - Everybody singing

The story...

The scene was from the risers in my seventh-grade choir room.  The leader said: "Rommel, you don't sing as good as you think you do."  I was crushed and have generally avoided public singing since then.  I don't recall ever hearing a recording of my singing.  I do sing praise and worship songs in church and sing along to the songs I like.  

There was a day I sang, "a Capella", in front of a large group of people.  I sang part of  Neil Young's "Love is a Rose" at my daughter's wedding.  Sure, I planned and practiced what I would say and sing.  Yet, I sang somewhat naturally from a heart that was spilling over with love for my daughter and her marriage.  She grew to be independent, capable, and developed many friendships.  Now she was committing to live her life out with a very good man.  It was joyful day.  Our friendship continues to grow as we share more of the reality of our true selves and our life stories.

It's an only church in town dream where everybody's praising and worshipping together. Praising God for what He has done and worshipping Him for Who He is.  Yes, everybody singing with all they've got!

Just for today...

"Sing a Song" Julie Andrews and the Muppets (1980)

"Wonderful things can happen today because I welcome the thrill of participating in my own life."  Courage to Change (p. 70)

February 5th - Idealized Hopes

 The story ...

The lyrics, of the MercyMe's song "I Can Only Imagine," kindle wonderful images in both my imagination and inner man.   What will the reality of the next life be like?  Scripture reveals Words from God and images that people were given, or experienced, such as in Isaiah 6.   I expect that all of our images are wrong; yet, close enough to motivate us to move toward them and experience real grow along the way.  

I imagined how my future spouse would fulfill me by meeting my love needs.  It probably didn't occur to me that she would also be hoping that I would fulfill her love needs and that she wouldn't be capable of fulfilling mine. These idealized hopes likely kept us moving forward until we rested in reality versus the ongoing strain of striving for an unattainable "best."  I've heard it said that insecure singe people, who marry to fill the void they feel, will likely idolize their spouse.  If and when their spouse doesn't fulfill their fantasy, then the idolizing may turn into demonizing.

I can only imagine the only church in town, that might be characterized as "the best," yet I doubt that it can every truly exist.  Personally, I've spent too many destructive hours critiquing the church, and the people in it, for not meeting my expectations.  Might the attainable good church be the place where people learn to do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with God in Christ (Micah 6:8).

Might the "good" only church in town best be communicated as a painting?  I admire those who can paint what they see or imagine in their mind.  I'm not an artist yet I did invest a chunk of my life toward imaging and painting something that was hidden in my inner man. I understand that it's best to just display a painting and let the viewer decide what it means to them.  So, here it goes - my first public display of my artwork.  Please be kind.

Thoughts for the day ...

"Think," yet resist those thoughts that are impulsive, compulsive or reactive.  Aretha Franklin has something good to say about thinking.

January 3rd - Cycles of continual improvement - growth

The story...

The nation of Israel's history can be characterized as continuing cycles of restoration to a right relationship with God, drifting away, realizing the lost and pain of separation, and reconciliation.  I've heard it said that this might be a good picture of a strengthening, growing, and lasting marriage too.  People's self-focused natures tend to pull them apart yet the marriage commitment can be strong enough to restore the relationship - over and over again.  Each restorative cycle can grow both marriage partners within their commitment to each other and to each of their relationships with God too.

I'm so thankful for my marriage partner and the personal growth that we've experienced both together and as individuals too.  Similarly, this kind of growth can happen within the only church in town -continual cycles of pain, love experienced, and restoration.  Yes, suffering, pain and brokenness often seem to be precursors and necessary ingredients for real and sustainable change cycles over time - growth.  

Just for today...

"I can do nothing to change the past except stop repeating it in the present . . . Taking some tiny action each day cam be much more effective than weeks and months of inactivity followed by a frenzied attempt to make radical changes overnight."  Courage to Change (p. 3)

"Each minute, each hour, each day, I smile a little more, let go of yesterday a little more, and live in today a little more."  Hope for Today (p. 3)