April 12th - Enduring Change Takes Time - Be Patient

The story...

My life trajectory's improved significantly in recent years.  The changes came slowly and were worked out alongside other pilgrims.  Those who walked with me seemed more honest with themselves, more okay as they were, and less guarded.

It surprised me that meaningful change took months, rather than weeks, to become more habitual and part of my character.  For example, I learned that I often thought obsessively over problems, issues, and even new ideas.  Obsessive thinking restrained me from engaging in, and enjoying, the present - the "now" where life's actually lived.  Once I witnessed a better way, I assumed that I could change my behavior within 40 days at most - I've often heard it takes 40 days to establish a habit.  It actually took me about six months to actually be different.  I can still be triggered to start up a cycle of obsessive thinking; yet, I often, resolve it within the first 10 min. and return to living in the present.

I hope that the only church in town would accept people just as they are with grace and mercy.  The community would allow others to safely grow at their own pace.  Yes, real growth seems to take longer than expected and requires patience.  Over time, the Spirit of God will begin to bear fruit through their lives.  Some of their old defensive armor, needed to defend themselves, will be exchanged for the far better armor of God.

Just for today...

"You cannot create a statue by smashing the marble with a hammer, and you cannot by force of arms release the spirit or soul of man."  Confucius (551–479 BCE)

"Despair - how many of us suffer from it!  Yet we do not realize that it is purely the absence of faith." One Day at a Time (p. 103)

April 11th - Deference

The story...

I heard a speaker make the claim that being a servant means doing everything your master says - to voluntarily choose to serve another.  They suggested that this is part of what it means to be a servant leader.  Hmm...

I gave this idea a try, a test of sorts, last weekend by accepting and enjoying all of the plans that a friend had for Saturday evening.  They chose where, when, and what we did.  It felt good not even considering the interjection of my opinion on anything we did or discussed.  The experiment set a different "tone" for the relationship - everyone seemed to be enjoying this new "way."  I think that the best word for describing my change in attitude would be deference - humble submission and respect.  It felt real good and right.

How do people expect the only church in town to be different from other community gatherings?  They will likely know the story of our Lord Jesus the Christ washing His disciples feet.  "So if I, the Lord and the Teacher, washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet." (NASB, John 13:14) 

(Tintoretto, 1548)

Loving our neighbor as ourselves does seem to be a wonderful, yet gifted, quality of the good life - an essential ingredient for us and our community too.  For God so loved the world that he gave His...

Just for today...

"I retain the right to have problems, to cry, to make mistakes, to not know all the answers. . . I don't have to be in charge."  Courage to Change (p. 102)

April 10th - Let 'em be and grow

The story...

My daughter was about one-year old.  She's standing beneath our kitchen table and just hit her head as she stood up.  She cried and seemed to be communicating "save me."  We didn't know much about parenting skills but we did learn that we should let'em do it by themselves when they could.  She cried and hit her head again - more tears.  "This hurts, should we save her?"  Together, we waited and resisted the urge to interfere.  She crawled out from under the table and was nurtured by mom.  We all learned stuff that day.

When do our good intentions interfere with the other person's growth?  We don't know what's best for another person or what the will of God is for their lives - why act as though we do?  Likely, we're interfering when they could, safely, do it on their own.  It does seem rational to continually relax the boundaries as teenagers become adults. 

In the only church in town, I'd hope that teenagers would become fully functioning independent adults working out their own personal relationship with God alongside others.  Ideally, they'd advance from independence to a sense of interdependence among community.  

Just for today...

"Other people's expectations are not my responsibility unless I have helped to create them.  I can remind myself that conflict is part of life."  Courage to Change (p. 101)

"It is far easier to be honest with other people than with myself.  All of us are hampered to some degree by our need to justify our actions and words."  One Day at a Time (p. 101)

April 9th: Embarrassed and Guarded

The story...

We were enjoying a vacation in the Florida Keys - seated at a table about twenty feet in front of the mic.  It's a comedy club and the "comedian" was taking "stinging" jabs at targeted people in the crowd.  I leaned over to my best friend and said "I can't believe that I'm a fully-capable adult yet I don't feel safe enough to get up from this chair and walk to that men's room."  What did I fear?   This was far away from home and I'd likely never see any of these people again.  The guy was clearly acting out his role as the comedian.  What messages did I fear he might send?  

The vacation scene

I could offer you a long list of personal messages that I don't want to hear.  And, I suppose there're many more "funny" critiques that might embarrass me.  Yet, the degree that I might be embarrassed seems to negatively correlate with the degree that I fell okay about myself - my condition.  For me, my condition is best when I am bearing fruit, e.g.: actually being kind, consistently praying/meditating, and walking humbly/honestly with God in Christ.   However, even in my best condition, as a fellow human, I can be hurt by others.  Some of my sharpest stings are self critiques.  Therefore, I find myself relying on my old armor for protection - that guardedness that keeps us more distant, yet protected, from others. 

How might the only church in town be more of a "No Armor Needed" zone?  I've witnessed armor-free zones within community; so, I hope that most people would find small groups where they felt more accepted and loved just as they are.  The full-church community will be significantly safer than my comedy club experience; yet regretfully, I expect that people will still need some type of armor just to get along - we're all works in progress.

Just for today...

"I take into account how affected I am by my past when I meet people who seem difficult, and I try to give them a break." Hope for Today (p. 100)

"The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them."  Courage to Change (p. 100)

"Painful experiences come from the thorns that wound us; they make us forget they also have roses." One Day at a Time (p. 100)

April 8th - Rule of Thumb - Go Left

The story...

When guessing the path that another person took, Jack Reacher always chose to turn left - counter clockwise.  Why?  Most people are right handed.  Yet most left-handed and right-handed are right-footed.  With no other information available, the average person will kick out their right leg and begin to turn counter clockwise.  This is a "Reacher" rule-of-thumb, heuristic, for decision making.

If you're following me, you'd soon find that I'm a predictable person who likes to follow comfortable patterns.  Thankfully, I'm also a curious sort who's willing to try on new ideas and ways of looking at things.  Yes, I'm what some would call a "life long learner." 

Some things are "too good" to be true so we may either accept it blindly or reject the dish without a taste.  Like the following situation from the Seinfeld series:

When Newman finds out that the no-fat yogurt store is shut down because the delectable yogurt truly has fat - he blames the people who exposed the façade.  He directs anger towards those who knocked down his "house of cards."

The only church in town's standard would be truths that God's revealed.  These truths often run contrary with our desire to satisfy ourselves by eating as much no-fat yogurt as we want.  We may choose to surround ourselves with those who also "buy in" to the no-fat yogurt ruse - everybody's okay as long as the ruse remains unexposed.  God's Word shines the light of truth on our thinking and behavior to expose and condemn the self-absorbed life condition for what it truly is.   It seems we can only find real satisfaction by doing justice, loving kindness, and walking humbly with our God in Christ (Micah 6:8).

Is today a good day to see what condition your condition is in? 

Just for today...

"There can be great value in examining the past. It can offer information about the present, as well as clues that might help us make changes for a better future. . . Still, it is important to remember that the past is over.  We are powerless over what has gone before."  Courage to Change (p. 99)

"Sometimes I would rather deny that a decision needs to be made than to tolerate the discomfort that comes with participating in the decision-making processes. . . I grew up seeing the extremes of decision-making - dominance and lack of participation."  Hope for Today (p. 99)

April 7th - I've met the enemy

 The story...

A friend of mine shared regrets for how he's behaved in certain group situations.  He wills to behave differently; yet, repeatedly returns to his frustrating patterns.  He believes the behaviors are triggered by something inside him.  Trying to behave differently doesn't seem to work.  Then he often reasonably concludes: "It's just the way I'm wired."  

Are we inherently selfish?  Some counter that we're instinctively cooperative.  Are our responses shaped by our genes, environment or related experiences? 

I do know that my nature, and related behaviors, are different when I'm walking humbly with God in Christ.  When I drift towards an unfruitful search for "self" satisfaction then I agree with Mick Jagger: "I can't get no satisfaction."

I hope that the only church in town would be filled with more realistic people who view and accept themselves and others as they are: honest about themselves; thankful for what they have; walking humbly with God...   People may think that they oughta be a more satisfied version of themselves - one that they feel a need to act out and claim to be true. 

In a more realistic view of life, I might acknowledge the truth that I don't want to invite people to church community when my focus is on me.  If I put my trust in God, might I open up the opportunity for God to invite people to church through me? 

Just for today...

"I am the sum total of all that has gone before, both painful and pleasurable, so everything I've experienced has value . . . Certain events had to occur before  changes could be made . . .  If situations had gone my way, I would not be enjoying the things that bring me pleasure today."  Hope for Today (p. 98)

April 6th - The Rifleman

The story...

I knew a guy, from my dorm floor in college, who I coined the nickname: "The Rifleman."  The nickname stuck and we became pretty-good friends.  We both received hand-held Coleco football games for Christmas.

We began a friendly competition of scoring the most points on the skill-level 1 setting.  I'd set the record and he'd break it the next day.  Other people knew about our "game" and would mention the Rifleman's new high score while passing me on campus - "No way!"  I found that vibrating the eraser-end of a pencil was a good way to speed the red blip across the screen.  He copied me and even improved my method. I tried a variety of pencil erasers to get the best "action."  Inevitably, he'd break each of my records.  My behavior degraded to the point that I found myself in my dorm room, in the middle of a school day, sweating as I attempted to get that more perfect game and attain yet another high score.  That day, a good friend of mine barged into my room.  She was met by my anxious call to "don't bother me now, I've got a good one going!"   They said loudly and directly, "look what you're turning into, do you really want to live like this?"  To my surprise, I was able to see my behavior, in the light of day, and was a bit disgusted with how far I drifted off course - this was the end of my battle with the Rifleman.

How will people in the only church in town know if they're running quickly, maybe recklessly, in the wrong direction?  I'd hope that a leader, or good friend, would recognize that their behavior's outside the will of God and communicate the message in a manner that might be received - shine light on the truth.  For me, it seems that I need to be confronted directly - others may need a more subtle and sensitive approach.

Just for today...

"I used humor as a manipulative tool to get people to like me.  My witty comments were carefully timed.  My sense of humor wasn't spontaneous or appropriate.  I used it to please people.  When no one was around to please, however, I was miserable and self-loathing."  Hope for Today (p. 97)

April 5th - Do we really need a rule?

The story...

Maybe it's because I grew up in a small town where parking was free and plentiful - I resent parking permits and meters.  I freed my bike from the campus lock with bolt cutters; I pled my ticket case in front of the campus security board; and I found a way to not pay my parking tickets before I graduated.  Instead, I wrote a check for same amount owed to the "Alumni Fund" and mailed it to Campus Security - "You're never going to get the money for those tickets!"  My dad was shocked when he saw my name listed as one of the larger Alumni donors for the year.  

I've lived too much of my life rebelling against systems that didn't work best for me or seemed unfair.  Like many, I likely grew up self focused and less concerned about other people or the community at large.  It seems I wasn't interested much in the macro picture of life and worked to sub-optimize my own micro situation - the world of me, myself and I.

I must've valued the availability of a close and safe parking space when I needed it.  It's logical that parking lots can't be designed to hold the greatest number of cars that may want to park there.  And, I didn't want to pave paradise and put up a parking lot.  So, we do need to obey rules that best serve our community?  

Now, I'm so thankful for community leaders who actually work their vision of the future into fruition.  And, I'm pleased to pay my taxes and have less consternation about paying parking fees too.  Rather than merely enforcing the rules against my will, I expect that it might have been better to teach the younger me about the value of community and the need for the rules that help sustain it.

The only church in town needs rules too.  If they've white carpet then those entering must take off their shoes.  Rules may also be required to protect the "essentials" that're necessary to sustain and grow us.

Just for today...

"When I feel stressed, I'll stop to check whether my basic needs are being met." Hope for Today (p. 96)

April 4th: Paddle forward

The story...

I woke before my traveling partner on Cherokee Lake in the BWCA.  It took a lot of work to paddle and portage in the day before - I actually carried our canoe over the Continental Divide.  It was way worth it - beautiful and serene.  We were the only group camped on the secluded lake that day.  We actually trolled for, caught, and ate lake trout the night before.  It was a crisp sunny morning on the island - you know I was actually cold.  Yet, my morning hour was one of the best parts of this canoe-only accessed wilderness. 

Someone told me how surprised they were of what they saw and learned by focusing on one square yard of earth for one-half hour.  I invested the time, on this rocky island and was surprised and thankful for what I witnessed.  There's a lot going on around us that we aren't aware of.   I actually saw a bug die, disassembled by ants, and pulled down a hole into the earth.  The close observation seemed to fill in missing pieces of the bigger view of Cherokee Lake - what's really going on.

Take a paddle from the island we camped on.

Life's worked out in the present.  I hope that the only church in town would teach about what God's done, who He is, who we can be in Christ, and the reasons for our hope.  Yet, the group would primarily focus on working out their faith, walking humbly with God, in the present - in actuality.  How about taking another look around already?

Just for today...

"Today I'll be keenly aware of my senses. I will think about what I am experiencing at this moment. I won't let the beauty of this day slip by unnoticed." Courage to Change  (p. 95)

"A searching and fearless moral inventory helped me see myself in a balanced way. This humble and realistic view of my gifts and shortcomings helped me forgive myself and in turn forgive others..." Hope for Today (p.95)

April 3rd - Power and Momentum

The story...

We moved to a home in the woods - lots of trees.  I worked a desk job so the strenuous physical activity felt good.  The lumberjack cycle includes tree felling, sawing, hauling, splitting, stacking, stump removal, and wood burning.  One of the transferrable skills was wood splitting.  You need to swing the 8-lb maul with momentum to split.  If you miss the mark, or swing with less than 100%, then ya got ta do it again - fatiguing and slow.  So, I became proficient with the splitting maul.  

We have a county fair site near our home.  One day my family and a few friends were strolling through the fair midway.  There they were!

One swing and I rang the bell. The strike felt natural, rather easy, and the sound of the bell ringing gave me a feeling of joy.  Oh, the sound of cheers from those I love.

Similarly, I hope that feelings of joy would occur frequently within the only church in town.  The cheers would be a witness to the power of God worked out through His people - the power of a new nature worked out in actualities.

Just for today...

"Who I am, not what I do, makes me worthwhile."  Hope for Today (p. 94)

April 2nd - What's going on?

The story...

It's the summer of 1977 and I'm working on a sled gang for the Burlington Northern railroad - summer job.  Sled gangs replaced old railroad ties with new ties that're covered with thick-black creosote.  The car pooling drive was long, the creosote burned my skin, the work was fatiguing, I experienced back muscle spasms, and I drank so much water that I used my hard hat as a cup. Yet, it paid over $6/hr.

Most of the job was "high spiking."  There was a machine that ran on the tracks that automatically drove the spikes; but, it didn't always work.  So, young guys like me drove in some of the spikes with a maul.  As you can see in the picture, the spike head is real close to the rail.  If, or when, you hit the rail there is a loud ding.  All the gang hears it and the foreman yells at you.  Why?  Every train car that rides over that flat spot is going to feel that until they replace the rail.  I remember hitting the rail a bit more than most people and the foreman's yell stung.

So, one day I was sitting by myself taking a break.  The dreaded foreman came over and sat down next to me.  He says: "Have you ever drank beer out of a straw?"  I couldn't believe that he was threatening me like that.  Then he followed that line up with: "I've had to learn how to since I broke my jaw when I got hit by the backswing of a maul.  My jaw's wired shut."  So, for weeks I thought that the foreman was snarling at me every time he attempted to talk with me.  In reality, his jaw was wired shut and I mistook his helpful attempts as personal attacks.  My number of rail hits dropped significantly after that welcomed conversation. 

I hope that people within the only church in town will be less guarded.  Hopefully, most of the people would be trusting God more than "self" and be a bit less guarded too.  They'd be capable of taking their eyes off themselves and have a better understanding of what's actually going on.

Just for today...

"As I become less self-centered, I will have stronger defenses against being hurt by slights and injustices. Minor crises will not loom large because I will not allow myself to magnify them out of proportion to their importance."  One Day at a Time (p. 93)

"I think I've developed an understanding of God that I don't fully understand." As We Understood... (p. 227)

April 1st - The Critic

The story...

What's true about that acute or overt criticism that I receive?  A wise person told me that criticism often has an element of truth in it - the wise man values criticism for what he might discover.  The "feedback" may be a truth, or perception, that we aren't aware of or have minimized.  Honest awareness and consideration of faults, or perceptions, can be like the value of a fine pearl.  You must work to open the shell, take it out, assess the value, and then decide what to do with it.

It's likely harder for a person, who has deep-felt emotions, such as shame and guilt, to truly listen.  It's easier to criticize the message sender and discredit the message than honestly considering it's validity.  

I wish I'd never criticized a preacher - especially in front of my children.  Rather, I wish I'd have developed closer relationships with them so that we both might've grown together - even through infrequent constructive criticism.

I expect the only church in town would have preachers and leaders who model wise behavior.  For me, being open to receiving criticism is part of continual growth in both me and my relationships too - pearls. 

Just for today...

"The contented, well adjusted person has no need to look for flaws in others . . . criticism has the effect of pushing love right out of the picture. This in turn, leads us to feeling sorry for ourselves because people do not respond to us as we would like them to."  One Day at a Time (p. 92)

March 31st - Quit stalling - trash it already

The story...

It's 1981 and I'm living in Knoxville, TN.  My new best friend's fiancé is visiting next weekend.  He's hanging out in my apartment and says to me:  "I might as well do it now rather than wait until she does it."  He walks over to my record collection and tosses five or six of them in a pile in the middle of the floor - I groaned with the potential loss of each of them.  Yet, my most pain was felt with the AC/DC album Back in Black.  My soul resonated with those three chords in...  Yes, I agreed that he was right and I later took the long-hard walk to the dumpster and threw them away.  His fiancé did visit that weekend, yes I loved her too, and yes she definitely would've thrown those albums away.  I would've been powerless to stop her. Yet, I'm glad that my good friend left the trashing process to me.

I still think that that AC/DC album was the best rock and roll album ever written.  Just three guitar chords?  Does my soul resonate with those songs?  Yes!  Are, they good for my right and humble walk with God in Christ?  No!  Have I been tempted to listen to that music since?  Yes!  Have I always resisted the urge?  Mostly...  My old-nature is still there, it's been redeemed by the blood of Christ yet still wants to be in control and run apart from the will of God - that's just the way I am.

Record demolition in Comiskey Park on July 12, 1979

How and when might we best perform our spiritual and life inventory?   We know how hard it is to sort, trash and rearrange stuff that fills up our garages, basements and attics.  For me, the deleting of some of the "trash" that my soul likes, wants, and longs for has been an important part of my personal growth and faith walk.  The "itches" seem to linger if I routinely scratch them.  We take out the regular trash each day but the stuff we've hung onto for too long, that do bring us some kind of comfort, requires something more - surgery.  My current "condition" is vastly superior to my old man's natural "condition."  I ain't going back and will not bring that crap with me any further.

My friend and his wife are wonderful people who've continued a faithful walk within the good state of Ohio.  Ohio is a better place with their family as a part.  I hope that visitors to the only church in town will find families like theirs to walk alongside with.

Just for today...

"We learn to face the world as it really is and to take responsibility for our actions. We deal with our feelings and share honestly about our experiences. We learn about ourselves and nurture our spiritual growth and our physical and metal well-being.  We become responsible adults."  Courage to Change (p. 91)

"Be good to yourself."  One Day at a Time (p. 91)

March 30th - Thermostat or Thermometer?

The story...

I was alone for 12 days while my spouse was traveling.  I kept busy doing projects and meeting with people, at least once, every day.  It was good to pick her up at the airport and return to a more normal home life.  However, I noticed that I began speaking more loudly and quickly when telling a good story or discussing daily events.  I noticed the change in intensity and made adjustments by lowering my voice and slowing down.  I mentioned this to her and she noticed the changes I was making.  She said that it was just fine the way things were yet I think that quieter and less intense is preferable.  Maybe it's just the way I am due to growing up with four loud siblings.

I mentioned this story to a pastor friend and asked him if he believed this to be a worthy personal change effort.  He encouraged me to work at this better communication style.  And, he relayed a wise metaphor that he found helpful.  When entering the room, you can choose to be either a thermometer or a thermostat.  A thermometer matches the "temperature" of the room while the thermostat can change the "temperature" of the room.

I expect that the only church in town would have a temperature, or level of intensity, that allows for all people to feel more comfortable, respected, loved, and engaged.  Each player effects the temperature whether it be good or bad.

Just for today...

"My efforts to be selfless by trying to please everyone but myself weren't working.  The focus was on their response rather than on what seemed right for me to do."  Courage to Change (p. 90)

"Until I am intimate with myself and treat myself with compassion, kindness, trust, acceptance, and love, I can't be the spouse, friend, son, or father I want to be." Hope for Today (p. 90)

March 29th: Pray Continually?

The story...

I assumed it was some type of extreme idea or hyperbole: "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. NASB)   How could a man be in continual contact with God?  Is that the will of God?  

Later in life, I found this truth worked out in reality - sensing and observing an ongoing relationship between the Spirt of God and my spirit..  Being truly awake and alert to the reality of the present.  Fruit born without all the turmoil that goes along with trying to be a good boy.  The greatest commandment worked out?

I've heard that being right with God, and walking humbly with Him, is like finally discovering the oil reserve deep below your house.  You notice it bubbling out of the ground.  Then one day you decide to pump it out of the ground and use it thereafter.  The idea of using your untapped resource is acted out in the opening credits for one of the best TV shows of all time.

The only church in town would teach God's revealed Word and the people would work out their faith in God's Word together.  They'd walk alongside each other as they learn to abide in Christ.  One day, they might naturally experience unceasing prayer.  Each of them would be different, in their own unique and gifted way, yet together they'd be awesome in Christ.  

Just for today...

"I lost my conscious contact with God. I gained weight, stopped exercising, and lost interest in my home and family.  I started isolating, and I sank into depression."  Hope for Today (p. 89)

"Worrying and fear can alter our perceptions until we lose all sense of reality, twisting neutral situations into nightmares.  Because most worry focuses on the future, if we can learn to stay in the present, living one day or one moment at at time, we take positive steps toward warding off our fear."  Courage to Change (p. 150)

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus."  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. (NASB)

March 28th - Co-Dependency

The story...

I've had close relationships with other people that didn't go well.  If they didn't feel good, or they were suffering, then I didn't feel so good and suffered.  I'd "try" to fix, manage, and control them and their situation.  The reasons for my behavior wasn't clear to me yet I expect it was primarily aimed at alleviating the pain for both me and them.  This kind of behavior may be labeled co-dependency - a type of behavior that actually enables the other person's destructive behavior.  You can check out the Wiki link or the variety of books on the subject if you need to know more.

Might a better way of living include trusting what God says is true, living by those truths, and actually being, more truthfully, the kind of person and friend you were hoping to find?  I expect that you're a best friend when you work out your own life well and allow others the respect and dignity to work out their own lives too.  They might actually catch a glimpse of God as you allow Him to indwell and work His way out through you.  Please consider the wisdom of working out your own life while humbly walking, as truthfully as possible, with God as opposed to continuing your attempts to fix, manage, and control yourself and others.

Michelangelo's Work: Adam and God's Relationship 

I expect there'll always be co-dependent relationships within the only church in town.  Yet, they'd likely fade away as the people of the church work out their faith in the Light of reality.

Just for today...

"When I trust God to give me what I need, I let go.  I face forward.  My hands are free for health, loving, and enjoyable activities. I find unexpected reserves of energy."  Courage to Change (p. 88)

March 27th - Retribution

The story...

I was living in my college dorm room with my 10-gallon aquarium.  I'd cared for my ten neon tetras for three quarters - everybody knew how much I liked them.  One day, I unlocked my door, walked over to my aquarium and saw only one two big fish that weren't my neons.  "These are his fish. This must be a prank.  He must have switched the fish between our tanks as a joke."   I ran down the hallway and pounded on his door.  "WHERE ARE MY FISH?" He felt my anger, we went to see the tank site together, and he admitted that he put his fish in my aquarium while he was cleaning his.  "I'm sorry."  

What happened within the next five minutes embarrasses me now.  I reacted quickly and took both of the fish out of the aquarium to chop them into pieces to expose my ten dead fish.  I had my retribution yet my friend and I were both left with negative feelings and emotions.  There was resolution yet my conscience said "you done wrong."

My 3-year old Neon

Is there a place for retribution within the only church in town?  There'll be situations where people will be justified for taking retribution.  I wish I'd forgiven my friend for his honest, yet unthinking, act.  Might I've shown mercy to those two simple fish that were just doing what they were created to do?   My character in this epic story of life might've been a tad better - maybe?

Just for today...

"I will guard against looking for flaws in others; I will try to see what is good in them." One Day at a Time (p. 87)

"It takes a great deal of effort for me to extend compassion to certain people . . . It means letting go of resentments, resulting from unrealistic expectations."  Hope for Today (p. 87)

March 26th - Embrace Variation

The story...

Within this world there're random variables - like the size of an egg, the length of the hairs on your head, the amount of rain in April, or the chances you'll get all green stop lights on the way to work.  Environments, materials, people and processes are continuously varying.  The same process setup, and efforts to perform the same way, result in different outcomes - variation.  Many differences are obvious yet some require you to look more closely.  The need to manage and control this type of variation is why manufacturing companies have "Quality" jobs.

Calipers: 0.001" precision

Once upon a time, I was a quality professional - one of the guys responsible for managing and controlling variation.  On a particular sunny spring day, I attended a seminar, in an old house, away from the "plant."  I still remember the instructor introducing Larry Wall's Harvard Law.  The law states: "Under controlled conditions of light, temperature, humidity, and nutrition, the organism will do as it damn well pleases."  The futility of my struggles to control our processes, beyond what they were capable of, was exposed!  This was a key learning for me to embrace.  I expect I've retold that internalized learning 100's of times.

The same can be said for the only church in town.  People vary day-to-day, year-to-year, and season to season.  The community, town, county, state, national, and global environments are always changing.  Special causes of variation occur in the church regularly.  Your new youth group leader may love to mountain climb and the youth learn to work out their faith in Appalachia.  Leadership may have different view points on non-essential doctrines yet they love, respect and grow together.  Two families from a different culture join your church and the people grow in different ways.  Trying to stay the same and control variation will likely just wear you out and frustrate others.  Change is going to happen - why not embrace it?

Thank God that His Word does not change.  His promises are real, trustworthy and the best by definition.  Best of all, you can count on Him to keep His promises.  

Just for today...

"If I'm unwilling to perform a task badly, I can't expect to make progress toward learning to do it well."  Courage to Change (p. 86)

"Refraining from advice-giving or criticizing creates an accepting and respectful environment in which each member is truly heard and valued.  Hope for Today (p. 86)

"Progress begins when we stop trying to control the uncontrollable and when we go on to correct what we have the right to change."  One Day at a Time (p. 86)

March 25th - Friend Watch

The story...

I have a friend who closely observes my behavior.  They challenge me to set mental and physical health goals and track my progress to goal too.  They offer me encouraging reminders to keep me going towards when and where I want to go.  Occasionally, they alert me to correlations between my good behaviors and other good life outcomes like better sleep and greater aerobic capacity.  They've even warned me of potentially life threatening risks such as a fall or heart rhythm abnormality.  And, they do all of this with words that express caring and kindness.  You likely guessed, from the picture, that I'm talking about my Apple-Watch friend.  We've been good friends for years - meet my good friend:

I was awarded for swimming longer and faster

Human friends have flaws, aren't always focused on me, are less predictable, and are free to choose.  I'm glad my friends are free; yet, I'm not about to give up my Apple Watch.  Like the Apple watch, I hope that the people in the only church in town would be honest with me, point out my lifestyle risks, remind me of my commitments, and speak to me kindly, gently, patiently, and truthfully.  That sounds like a best friend, who you might grow with as you walk alongside each other, on your way toward your ultimate life goal.

Just for today...

"I have a primary responsibility for myself: to make myself into the best person I can possibly be.  Then, and only then, will I have something worthwhile to share."  Courage to Change (p. 85)

"A grim and furious silence can be more crushing and wounding than harsh words.  Such a silence is motivated by the desire to punish." One Day at a Time (p. 85)

March 24th - That Snowball - Old Scars

The story...

In my late twenties, I was asked to serve as a middle-school youth leader.  It was initially uncomfortable as you might expect.  Yet, playing, laughing, teaching key truths in story, attending a youth-leader seminar, leading songs with guitar, traveling together, sharing life actualities, suffering together, encouraging, praising, and seeing growth were real good.  Then an event happened that triggered emotions that must've been buried deep down inside me.

The situation: it's winter, there's snow outside, and we'd just finished our youth group events for the night.  The kids are running and playing inside.  One boy steps outside, makes a snowball, and throws it at a friend whose running away inside the church.  Frustrated, I was left to scoop up the snow.  At the same time, I look up and see an Elder walk out of a bible-study room and stare at me and the snowball splat, he wore a look of disgust.

Why does this scene trigger emotions from me even now as I recall it.  This happened about 35 years ago!  Thank goodness I didn't react quickly to that leering look.  I finished cleaning up the mess and stored my pent-up emotions.  The Elder was a good man and I still think of him with respect.  So, was my primary cause frustration, authority figures, the youth leader role, lack of respect shown to me as the leader, unwanted discipline I received long ago, my questioning the worthiness of my service, or simply being rejected by the group?  I don't know the cause.  It may've been all or some combination; yet, it seems that an emotional wound was exposed in this critical event.  I likely still have a small scar.

The only church in town is going to be filled with wounded people who cover up their scars.  Comfort and hope is available as they learn to love and receive love.  This story highlights the need to work out the greatest and second greatest commandments - love the Lord your God with all your heart soul and mind.  And, love your neighbor as yourself.  Yes, that means loving yourself too.

Just for today...

"Courage is fear that has said its prayers." One Day at a Time (p. 84)

"I searched my past to see how this character defect had helped me to survive the pain and chaos of growing up in. . . Listing the benefits of the defect made it easier to see why it had become such a big part of me.  It also helped me see how the flaw was just a positive attribute run amok."  Hope for Today (p. 84)

March 23rd - Walking and Rolling

The story...

I had a friend who was bound to a wheelchair with partial use of his arms.  His wife was a virtuous and industrious person who cared for and loved him along the way.  We worked together as members of our church leadership board for a couple of years.  I didn't even want to imagine what it would be like to be "imprisoned" in a body that wouldn't go or do what I wanted.  I'm so thankful that he shared his heart, and the reality of his condition, over those years.  I learned much by observing his behavior, asking him "what's it like" questions, listening, and sensing his warm comfortable spirit.  He truly learned to love and accept love well.  He trusted what God's Word said about him rather than his limited capabilities.

He said, multiple times, that the car accident was a blessing.  He had a loving relationship with his God through his Savior.  I believed him and am thankful for his witness.  He seemed to be truly free within the confines of his wheelchair.

Life stories like this one will be an important part of the only church in town.  While our faith isn't built on the testimony of other people, it's a wonderful thing to witness the Spirit of God work His way out through a friend whom you are walking and rolling alongside.

Just for today...

"My anger can be an attempt to change someone or something because I don't want to change . . . I gain self-worth when I change the things I can and accept responsibility for my reactions rather than blaming or shaming another."  Hope for Today (p. 83)

"Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional."  Courage to Change (p. 83)

March 22nd - NOW

The story...

When a person attempts to communicate to me in a sentence, I've to remember the first words in order to make sense of the whole thought.  If short-term memory lasts about 15 to 30 seconds, and occurs in a different part of our brain than long-term memory, then we might say that the "present" occurs within 30-second time intervals.  

Hard to see NOW on a clock

We can avoid living in the present by dwelling on the past or future.  And, we can even avoid the present message inputs and guess what other people are saying based on pre-conceived ideas about who they are or what we want to be true.  Yes, we know that we all can avoid the reality of the present or the NOW.

Why do we choose not to live in the reality of the present, the NOW?  Do we need to be taught how? Maybe it seems boring because we haven't tuned into the reality station and are hearing mostly static.

It seems reasonable to argue that we receive inputs from: our five senses, our feelings, our emotions, our memories, our mind, our hopes, our spirit, and the Spirit of God.  We meet God in the present too and work out actual relationship in the NOW.  Can we be satisfied with merely reading about our potential relationship with God or recalling past times when our relationship seemed to be more meaningful?

The only church in town would be a "safe" place where people would want to be engaged.  They'd witness the value of living in the present reality as opposed to an imagined one that might seem more protective.  They'd interact with the Spirit of God in their own inner-person and witness Him working in others too.

Just for today...

"I will not concern myself about tomorrow until it becomes my today.  The better I use today, the more likely it is that tomorrow will be bright." One Day at a Time (p. 82)

"There is an innocence within me that already knows how to trust God, to cherish life while holding it lightly, to live fully and simply in the present moment."  Courage to Change (p.82)

March 21st: Camper or Motorcycle?

The story...

It's not hard to remember the effort it took to pack up for, and unpack from, a camping vacation.  It seemed right to bring everything that we expected to need - to not be found wanting.  Strangely, part of the idea was to get away from the stuff and our routine.

A motorcycle trip is different - space is limited so you bring what you need - this or that.   What happens if it rains?  You get wet and maybe spend time hanging out with others in an unexpected place - you do dry out an often appreciate the people you both helped and allowed to help you.

Motorcyclists often offer a solidarity arm gesture to other riders as they pass each other on the road and they also tend to share stories at the gas pumps too - you do spend more time at gas stations.  When traveling on my motorcycle, I feel like I'm part of a bigger group that wants a freer life.

You can like the idea of riding a motorcycle and buy one this week.  You might keep it stored under a tarp in the back of your garage and take it out occasionally to drive around the neighborhood.  It might be safer that way and your bike would stay shinier and newer looking - maybe that's why so many used motorcycles have few miles on their odometer. 

This motorcycle was great . . .

It seems that the only church in town might be a lot like a biker group.  Living more freely in the present together, rid of the extra baggage, more purposeful.  Like the Greek work "ecclesia" - a called out group of people who wanna be free.

Just for today...

"I've heard that we don't necessarily gravitate toward what is good for us; we gravitate toward what feels like home."  Hope for Today (p. 81)  

"Logic may dictate a certain course of action while my inner voice urges me in a different direction.  I may have an easier time when I follow the dictates of logic, convenience, or past experience, but am I cheating myself out of something much better?"  Courage to Change (p. 81)

March 20th - Idols and Jealousy

The story...

God says that He's a jealous God.  Were we created for a relationship with Him?

When I get that unsatisfied feeling, that "itch," where do I go?  Do I search the internet for a thing to desire and posses?  Do I consume a favorite food?  Do I drink or swallow a substance to soothe it?  Maybe I'll look at other people's glamor photos on social media?  How about dreaming of the other relationship that might've been more fulfilling?  How about escaping my surroundings and going to the place that everybody wants to be if they could?  

These might all be considered idols that stunt or stifle my relationship with God.  I do drift from the best condition - the decline seems to occur almost imperceptibly.  Restoration, to the better condition, seems to occur best through prayer, reflection, and meditation.

For me, there's no better state of being than walking humbly and honestly within a close relationship with God.  He's provided the power and the way too. "Me in Christ and the Spirit of Christ in me."  Wow...

What will spiritual conditions be like within the only church in town?   All will have an "old nature" that works to separate them from God and others too.  The people would purpose to do justice, love kindness and walk honestly and humbly with God in Christ.  When a fellow pilgrim falls, others will be there to help them up and continue their worthy life journeys - separately yet together.

Just for today...

"I have always judged my value on the basis of my accomplishments, or on what other people said of me.  This meant I had to work all the time, or constantly make myself the center of attention."  Courage to Change (p. 80)

"The decision is never overt, and explanations are never made openly. The outcasts simply find themselves excluded from the family for a period of time."  Hope for Today (p. 80)

Isaiah 44:9-20 reveals God's perspective about humans and their idols.