The story...
My daughter was about one-year old. She's standing beneath our kitchen table and just hit her head as she stood up. She cried and seemed to be communicating "save me." We didn't know much about parenting skills but we did learn that we should let'em do it by themselves when they could. She cried and hit her head again - more tears. "This hurts, should we save her?" Together, we waited and resisted the urge to interfere. She crawled out from under the table and was nurtured by mom. We all learned stuff that day.
When do our good intentions interfere with the other person's growth? We don't know what's best for another person or what the will of God is for their lives - why act as though we do? Likely, we're interfering when they could, safely, do it on their own. It does seem rational to continually relax the boundaries as teenagers become adults.
In the only church in town, I'd hope that teenagers would become fully functioning independent adults working out their own personal relationship with God alongside others. Ideally, they'd advance from independence to a sense of interdependence among community.
Just for today...
"Other people's expectations are not my responsibility unless I have helped to create them. I can remind myself that conflict is part of life." Courage to Change (p. 101)
"It is far easier to be honest with other people than with myself. All of us are hampered to some degree by our need to justify our actions and words." One Day at a Time (p. 101)
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