July 11th - Even if...

The story...

I regret the times that my emotions got the better of me and I reacted quickly by lashing out at other people.  I treated my band director with public disrespect, I hit one fellow student in the face with a textbook, I threw an ice-cream boat in the face of another, I went on two different long tirades condemning people for their wrongs toward someone I cared deeply for, I yelled at a co-worker in the middle of the office...   I might have let them be and focused on my role in the situation - actually being a better character in the story of life.  I wish these events didn't happen but they did.

Gary has to answer the question "whose your daddy?"  It's not hard to imagine the emotions that're swirling around Gary's head.  Yet, he suppresses those emotions and begins a path that stretches and grows him towards a bigger and better life.  Gary's friend "Dean Martin" stands firm and refuses to grow - he misses out.

"Whose your daddy Gary?"

Will I be okay today even if this or that happens?  Will I treat others with love and respect even if they...?  Am I okay no matter what?  

I'll have emotional responses to the hard happenings that come my way; yet, I can choose how I respond or react.  It does take practice to delay my response from those emotional triggers.  Some say that feelings last no more than 90 seconds yet we can keep restimulating them with our thought patterns.  Oh... the perils of obsessive thinking.

The only church in town will witness each person growing throughout their lives.  I hope that the people will actually "be" who they are in Christ rather than "try" to be good people.  The heat of the battles of life seem to expose who we are.  The Sprit of God and an ongoing relationship with God transforms people.

Just for today...

Why not trade the worrisome thoughts of "what if" with "even if?"

"When angry, count to ten before you speak; if very angry, a hundred."  Thomas Jefferson

May 12th: Why am I repeating my opinion?

 The story...

"If you continue to repeat your opinion then you're trying to control and manipulate others."  I remember when I first heard this.  If that's true then it's also true that I've spent much of my life attempting to manage and control other people's lives.  Me acting like a little god?  My intervention in their lives may have both stunted their growth and hindered their relationship with God. 

A friend of mine told me that he was profiting from reading the book "Scary Close" by Donald Miller.  This peaked my interest as many liked "Blue Like Jazz" and I learned the elements of a story in "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" - I also met Mr. Miller at a Hope College event - I like him.

So, I ordered the book and later went to my bookshelf and found an unread copy - a gift that never read.  Being an academic sort, I marked up one copy and recorded my key points in the back of the book with page references.  My friend and I met and discussed our recorded "key points."  It was a fruitful conversation and we both were significantly challenged by the visual example of the three pillows (pp. 205-209).

(pp. 205-209) notes.

The 3-pillow image is a reminder to avoid the dangers that likely lurk within a co-dependent relationship.  "Co-dependency happens when too much of your sense of validation or security comes from somebody else" (p. 206).  In a relationship, there are two souls - each soul has their own pillow that should not be tramped on by the other person.  The middle pillow is the relationship where both can work life together.  The warning is to never try to change the other person - do not step on the pillow of their soul!  Work out your own soul and allow them the dignity to work out theirs too.  We're responsible for our own soul and nobody else's.

The only church in town wouldn't work to fix, manage, and control each person so that they all reflected the same idea of what a "good" soul "should" look like.  The will of God for each person would be respected.  Each person would be treated with dignity - their soul, or pillow, would not be trampled on.  They'd sow seeds and grow at their own pace.  Each would value the relationship pillows where they work out life together - the community.

Just for today...

"Stating my opinion once is appropriate, any more than that is an attempt at governing those around me."  Hope for Today (p. 133)

"...deep down, there is a part of me, that pushes me to seek peace, happiness, direction, and wholeness in my life.  And I doubt my doubts."  Courage to Change (p. 133)

April 15th - Tax Day

The story...

The Holland State Park improvement plan was approved in 2010.  It happened whether we liked it or not.  I liked the park the way it was; yet, I like it better now.

One of the changes was the removal of a large number of cotton wood trees in the old parking lot.  I met a woman, while visiting the park, that expressed great anguish and anger over the thought of these trees being cut down.  She claimed that she was working diligently to stop this horrible change from happening.  She seemed physically drained by the dread of the impending change - it happened anyway.

I'm so thankful that I respected leadership's decision and their plan.  I didn't comment much about their decisions and weathered the disruptive steps of the improvement process.  There was much unexpected goodness in those changes - for me and others too.

Politicians who implement their vision for the future, sold during the campaign, are alright with me.  Certainly, they need to work with, and through, others to bring ideas into fruition.  Then we, the represented, can evaluate the results - good, marginal, or bad.   Then, in an iterative way, we build better government and communities too.

Many people complain about paying their taxes - not me.  I stand thankful for my freedom, safety, justice, property rights, care for the poor, shared facilities, parks, road system, public transportation, and all those who serve our communities.

The only church in town would treat their community leaders with respect.  (NASB, Romans 13:1-7)

Just for today...

"All bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and slander must be removed from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you."(NASB, Ephesians 4:31-32)

April 11th - Deference

The story...

I heard a speaker make the claim that being a servant means doing everything your master says - to voluntarily choose to serve another.  They suggested that this is part of what it means to be a servant leader.  Hmm...

I gave this idea a try, a test of sorts, last weekend by accepting and enjoying all of the plans that a friend had for Saturday evening.  They chose where, when, and what we did.  It felt good not even considering the interjection of my opinion on anything we did or discussed.  The experiment set a different "tone" for the relationship - everyone seemed to be enjoying this new "way."  I think that the best word for describing my change in attitude would be deference - humble submission and respect.  It felt real good and right.

How do people expect the only church in town to be different from other community gatherings?  They will likely know the story of our Lord Jesus the Christ washing His disciples feet.  "So if I, the Lord and the Teacher, washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet." (NASB, John 13:14) 

(Tintoretto, 1548)

Loving our neighbor as ourselves does seem to be a wonderful, yet gifted, quality of the good life - an essential ingredient for us and our community too.  For God so loved the world that he gave His...

Just for today...

"I retain the right to have problems, to cry, to make mistakes, to not know all the answers. . . I don't have to be in charge."  Courage to Change (p. 102)