The story...
As a manager, I felt the need to "help" others find a solution to their problems and improve along the way. When attempting to "fix" their problem, I sometimes mentioned another person's similar situation and retold how the other person worked through a solution that might apply in this situation. I "did this" to a friend who worked for me and he later returned with the following helpful feedback: "When you told me the story about my co-workers, I realized that you might say similar stories about me. I lost trust in you - don't expect me to share much with you in the future." The feedback was valuable yet it hurt - my behavior damaged a relationship and I had to admit that I was sharing gossip - ugh.
I could've been a better listener and asked questions that might've helped the other person work out their own solutions. The idea might've been indirectly brought into conversation without referencing another person. This is a more respectful approach that'd likely improve the prospects of lasting personal improvement too.
Does this diabolical urge to fix, manage, and control other people somehow link with the pride of life and the "itch" to gossip? It's all bad. I wish I'd have shown every co-worker enough respect to never say anything about them that I'd not have said if they were present in the room.
Gossip will be part of the only church in town - it's made up of real people. People will feel hurt when a confidential matter's disclosed in public - reputations tarnished. Trust is broken and the community begins to rust. Gossiping is a harmful sin that points to a bad heart. The Apostle Paul spoke to it directly: Romans 1:29; 2 Corinthians 12:20; 1 Timothy 5:13; and 2 Thessalonians 3:11. Within the only church in town, the preacher would speak God's revealed word before the community to shine "light" on gossip and expose sin's corroding effects.
Just for today...
"I will no longer hold a conversation about someone who isn't physically present in the room . . . Now we discuss our feelings about subjects applying only to us . . . Refraining from gossip and criticism keeps me focused on myself, and firmly established in reality." Hope for Today (p. 145)
Seek God's will: "Life contains but two tragedies. One is not to get your heart's desire; the other is to get it." Socrates
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