March 31st - Quit stalling - trash it already

The story...

It's 1981 and I'm living in Knoxville, TN.  My new best friend's fiancé is visiting next weekend.  He's hanging out in my apartment and says to me:  "I might as well do it now rather than wait until she does."  He walks over to my record collection and tosses five or six of them in a pile in the middle of the floor - I groaned with each potential loss.  Yet, my most pain was felt with the AC/DC album Back in Black.  My soul resonated with those three chords in...  Yes, I agreed that he was right and I soon took the long-hard walk to the dumpster.  His fiancé did visit that weekend; yes, I loved her too.   Yes, she definitely would've thrown those albums away.  I would've been powerless to stop her.  Yet, I'm glad that my good friend left the trashing process to me.

I still think that that Back in Black was the best rock and roll album ever written.  Just three guitar chords: E, D and A.  Does my soul resonate and wake up with those songs?  Yes!  Are, they good for my right and humble walk with God in Christ?  No!  Have I been tempted to listen to that music since?  Yes!  Have I always resisted the urge?  Mostly...  My old-nature's still there, it's been redeemed by the blood of Christ yet still wants to be in control and master my life - that's just the way I am.

Record demolition in Comiskey Park on July 12, 1979

How and when might we best perform our spiritual and life inventory?   We know how hard it is to sort, trash and rearrange stuff that fills up our garages, basements and attics.  For me, the deleting of some of the "trash" that my soul likes, wants, and longs for has been an important part of my personal growth and faith walk.  The "itches" seem to linger if I routinely scratch them.  We take out the regular trash each day but the stuff we've hung onto for too long, that do bring us some kind of comfort, requires something more - surgery.  My current "condition" is vastly superior to my old man's natural "condition."  I ain't going back and will not bring that crap with me any further.

My friend and his wife are wonderful people who've continued a faithful walk within the good state of Ohio.  Ohio is a better place with their family's engagement.  I hope that visitors to the only church in town will find families like theirs to walk alongside with.

Just for today...

"We learn to face the world as it really is and to take responsibility for our actions. We deal with our feelings and share honestly about our experiences. We learn about ourselves and nurture our spiritual growth and our physical and metal well-being.  We become responsible adults."  Courage to Change (p. 91)

"Be good to yourself."  One Day at a Time (p. 91)

"Stuffed shelves; Emit darkness - New light; Barely seen."   Am I a Poet?

March 30th - Thermostat or Thermometer?

The story...

I was alone for 12 days while my spouse was traveling.  I kept busy doing projects and meeting with people, at least once per day.  It was good to pick her up at the airport and return to a more normal home life.  However, I noticed that I began speaking more loudly and quickly when telling a good story or discussing daily events.  I noticed the change in intensity and made adjustments by lowering my voice and slowing down.  I mentioned this to her and she noticed the changes I was making.  She said that it was just fine the way things were yet I think that quieter and less intense is preferable.  Maybe it's my go-to way since I grew up with four loud siblings.

I mentioned this story to a pastor friend and asked him if being quieter was a worthy personal change effort.  He encouraged me to work at this better communication style.  And, he relayed a wise metaphor that you may also find helpful.  When entering the room, you can choose to be either a thermometer or a thermostat.  A thermometer matches the "temperature" of the room while the thermostat can change the "temperature" of the room.

I expect that the only church in town would have a temperature, or level of intensity, that allows for all people to feel more comfortable, respected, loved, and engaged.  Each player effects the temperature whether it be good or bad.

Just for today...

"My efforts to be selfless by trying to please everyone but myself weren't working.  The focus was on their response rather than on what seemed right for me to do."  Courage to Change (p. 90)

"Until I am intimate with myself and treat myself with compassion, kindness, trust, acceptance, and love, I can't be the spouse, friend, son, or father I want to be." Hope for Today (p. 90)

"You're quiet; I'm excited - Talked hard; Love's better."   Am I a Poet?

March 29th: Pray Continually?

The story...

I assumed it was some type of extreme idea or hyperbole: "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. NASB)   How could a man be in continual contact with God?  Is that the will of God?  

Later in life, I found this truth worked out in reality - sensing and observing an ongoing relationship between the Spirt of God and my spirit.  Being truly awake and alert to the reality of the present.  This "relationship" has been real to me albeit veiled, seen rather dimly, with bursts of revealing light.  Fruit born is more concrete and observable.  That type of fruit seems to come without all the turmoil that accompanies my efforts of "trying to be a good boy."  The greatest commandment worked out?

I've heard that being right with God, and walking humbly with Him, is like finally discovering the oil reserve deep below your house.  You notice it bubbling out of the ground.  Then one day you decide to pump it out of the ground and use it thereafter.  The idea of using your untapped resource is acted out in the opening credits for one of the best TV shows of all time.

The only church in town would teach God's revealed Word and the people would work out their faith in God's Word together.  They'd walk alongside each other as they learn to abide in Christ - the process is much slower than I ever expected.  One day, they might naturally experience unceasing prayer.  Each of them would be different, in their own unique and gifted way, yet together they'd be awesome in Christ.  

Just for today...

"I lost my conscious contact with God. I gained weight, stopped exercising, and lost interest in my home and family.  I started isolating, and I sank into depression."  Hope for Today (p. 89)

"Worrying and fear can alter our perceptions until we lose all sense of reality, twisting neutral situations into nightmares.  Because most worry focuses on the future, if we can learn to stay in the present, living one day or one moment at at time, we take positive steps toward warding off our fear."  Courage to Change (p. 150)

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus."  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. (NASB)

"Life's amok; Quit trying - Trusted God; We're okay."   Am I a Poet?

March 28th - Co-Dependency

The story...

I've had close relationships with other people that didn't go well.  If they didn't feel good, or they were suffering, then I didn't feel so good and suffered.  I'd "try" to fix, manage, and control them and their situation.  The reasons for my behavior wasn't clear to me; yet, I expect it was primarily aimed at alleviating the pain for both me and them.  This kind of behavior may be labeled co-dependency - a type of behavior that actually enables the other person's destructive behavior.  You can check out the Wiki link or the variety of books on the subject if you so choose.

Might a better way of living include trusting what God says is true, living by those truths, and actually being, more truthfully, the kind of person and friend you were hoping to find?  I expect that you're a best friend when you work out your own life well and allow others the respect and dignity to work out their own lives too.  They might actually catch a glimpse of God as you allow Him to indwell and work His way out through you.  Please consider the wisdom of working out your own life while humbly walking, as truthfully as possible, with God as opposed to continuing your attempts to fix, manage, and control yourself and others.

Michelangelo's Work: Adam and God's Relationship 

I expect there'll always be co-dependent relationships within the only church in town.  Yet, they'll likely fade away as the people of the church work out their faith in reality's Light.

Just for today...

"When I trust God to give me what I need, I let go.  I face forward.  My hands are free for health, loving, and enjoyable activities. I find unexpected reserves of energy."  Courage to Change (p. 88)

"You've your way; I'm on mine - Change apart; Strong together."   Am I a Poet?