July 5th - Unwanted advice

The story...

I was a manager who assigned an important project to a person who worked for me.  So, I stopped by his office multiple times to check on how well it was going and to offer help.  He later stopped in my office and told me that it bothered him when I checked on his work so much.  It seemed to him, that I was showing that I didn't trust him or his capability to complete the project without my help - my "checkups" made him anxious.

I was surprised by his feedback; yet, couldn't doubt its authenticity.  I may've disregarded the feedback by discrediting the sender; yet, he was a good man.  Over time, I did change the way I worked with people within my work groups.  Yet, I didn't apply the principle to other areas of my life too.  I was beginning to learn the value of detachment and to trust others with their own lives - to treat them more fully with dignity and respect.  

Today, I rarely have an opinion regarding what another person should do with their lives.  I enjoy understanding others more and have developed more meaningful and less-guarded relationships with others.  It seems that my life is more influential as I walk side-by-side others rather than giving them unwanted advice.  Might unwanted advice be disguised criticism?

Co-dependent or Independents within Community?

Within the only church in town, would others have opinions regarding how I ought to live out my own life?  They can't possibly know my heart or God's will for my life.  They'd know and share what God's revealed regarding Who He is, who we are as His creatures, and how we might humbly and honestly walk with Him.  I hope that the people would feel safe enough to be vulnerable - share the reality of their faith worked out in the actualities of their lives.  Yet, God's timing and His will, for each person's life, remains hidden until it's worked out between God and each person.  

Why not live and let live?  Can you trust them with their lives?

Just for today...

"... detachment is the freedom to own what is mine and to allow others to own what is theirs. . . I can detach and still love, still feel."  Courage for Change (p. 187)

"System changed; Missin old - Feelin different; Left cold."
"Listened to; Felt love - Budding new; Settling dove."   Am I a Poet?

July 4th - Will somebody sit next to me?

The story...

I sat next to a woman on a train to Milwaukee one day.  Unexpectedly, we shared much of the important parts of our lives.  Kristen let me know that she had her eye removed with hopes of eradicating the cancer in her body; yet, she recently discovered that the cancer traveled to her liver.  There was no known cure for that type of cancer.  She participated in a sort of holistic program to extend her life with the hope that a new, yet unknown solution, might materialize.

She was a positive person with much support in her life.   We discussed living in 3-month intervals; the pros and cons of hoping for a miracle; difficulties related to thinking about future plans; and the important parts of life that might make a difference into eternity.  I think that we encouraged each other and were both better off for having met and listened to each other with open hearts.  I'm glad that I chose to sit next to her.  I wrote a prayer card and placed it in my prayer box.  I hope that she lives a long fruitful life yet I'll probably never know - we shared only our first names.  I wish now we would have traded e-mail addresses.

The only church in town would likely be a place where congregates might expect conversations regarding life's challenges and eternal realities with open, honest, and humble God-trusting people.  Human wisdom and hope have limited value when interment is in view.

Just for today...

• Value each person we meet - it's a miracle that each of us is alive.
• Be open to God's leading and resist temptations to be your own little god.
• Seek to understand them - you might open an opportunity to both give and receive love.

"Body of Christ; Here today - Community built; His Way."   Am I a Poet?

July 3rd - Group Understanding and Consensus within the Light

The story...

We were hiring a new engineer and our new group-consensus recruiting process had filtered down the list of candidates to two.  We used a group interview and scoring process.  Both people were very different and the interviewers were split regarding who was expected to best both perform the job and work well within the group(s) and organization.  I vocally supported my candidate as part of the minority.  I accepted the group's decision to offer the job to the other guy; yet, I was a bit frustrated by both the process and the resulting decision.  As the years went by, it was clear that the group made the right decision - "they were right and I'm glad I listened."  Yes, I'm a believer in a group interviewing and decision making process.  Maybe each person's perspective does shine light on the fuller implications of the decision making process?

The only church in town would value all people and seek to understand them in both the light of day and God's revelations.  Might we find answers to the question of how we fit into His Will there?  How do we understand God's Will for ourselves, others, and the group when we aren't even capable of actually knowing our own heart or inner man?  I expect that the only church in town would focus on right relationships between God, me, and my fellow congregates too.  Yes, they'd follow the greatest commandment to love the Lord their God with all heart, mind, and strength.  And, to love their neighbor as they love themselves - the light of God shining on relationships, decisions, and the future too. 

In my limited experience, God has intervened in my life in a continuous way.  His Word and Spirit do seem to validate my walk within His will with a sense of peace.  When my soul wanders and seeks to glorify my imagined self, the Spirit of God convicts me and restores our working relationship - a work of God.  It's surprising when my soul is at peace when my circumstances seem to say I "should" be thinking and feeling otherwise.

Just for today...

"I do not know what is best for other people.  Today I will remember that newcomers, and everyone else, are in the hands of a Power greater than myself."  Courage to Change (p. 185)

"Shed's a crumbling; I thought no - Floor gave way; Light said so."
"Bought supplies; Invited friend too - Changed together; Restored anew."   Am I a Poet?

July 2nd - Peaceful or Vibrant Chapter?

The story...

What does being peaceful mean to you - Less consternation, calm feelings, a quiet sense of purpose and strong relationships?   Some would rather have a vibrant life characterized by: excited thoughts, amped-up feelings, a sense that anything's possible, and a life less bounded by relationships.

Maybe younger adults are designed to live vibrant lives and older people are designed to work out more peaceful lives.  If that's true, then is it reasonable to expect a younger person to live with a sense of peace, calmness, and purpose?  Would a peaceful person be able to move mountains, lead thousands, and work out a close and continual relationship with their God too?

I'm thankful for each stage of life and how I've learned to say goodbye to the old and hello to the new.  The book of my life wouldn't be as rich and meaningful without all the chapters - the good, the bad, and the ugly too.

The only church in town would be full of unique and wonderful biographies that're all in the process of being written.  There'd be a library where people could read completed biographies; yet, they wouldn't spend too much time there.  They'd all recognize the value of experiencing the current chapter of each person within community.

Just for today...

"If I am getting in the way of my own best interests, a closer look at my behavior can lead to positive changes."  Courage to Change (p. 184)

"May we learn; Along each soul - Blest anew;  More whole."   Am I a Poet?

July 1st - Let 'em Be Free

The story...

My rebellious spirit resisted efforts to fix, manage, or control me.  Had I been more compliant, I likely would've received better grades, learned to play a cornet better, better understood what others were into, and been a part of more groups too.  I do greatly appreciate the groups and relationships that I've been a part of; yet, I seemed driven towards freedom from group think and domineering controlling types.  Sadly, this meant that I had to find ways to deal with the rejection that goes along with a rebellious spirit.

The jobs that I chose, and flourished in, allowed me to exercise my independence and drive change in the processes that mostly converted inputs into outputs.  Rebel against the status quo and change things to make them better.  The jobs involved imagination, risk, reward, influence, and an internal need to succeed - I was naturally good at this type of work and change characterized my career.  When things became too predictable, I moved on towards the next thing.

Was I born to walk this road or was I a product of my environment?  Nobody knows the answer.  I do believe that we all need every person to work out their unique abilities, skills and talents for the benefit of us all.

How might the only church in town be a place where all people would congregate when some of them are rebels like me?  I think that we'd let each person work out their own life and provide opportunities for groups who would focus on relationships amongst congregates.  Yet, the - North Star - purpose would always be for each person to rest in their right relationship with God in Christ.  A body of Christ with Christ as the head.

Just for today...

"...what I view as a finely developed sense of responsibility may actually amount to a form of dominance." Hope for Today (p.183)

"...the man I married cannot be the source of my happiness or sorrow.  The gift of life is personally mine - as his life belongs to him - to enjoy or destroy, as each of us wishes."  One Day at a Time ([. 183)

"Ever'thing there is but lovin' leaves a rust on yo' soul."  Langston Hughes

June 30th - God knows what I'm trying to say

The story...

I wonder how often I prayed when I was young.  What did I pray about?  I don't remember expectations that I knelt beside my bed with my hands folded.  Maybe I laid in bed making pleas for answers to the dilemmas that each day presented.  I do remember sleeping on the bottom bunk looking at the airplanes printed on the fabric below the top bunk - I did often imagine flying.  My needs were never fully met and I hope I was thankful for the what and the whom in my life.  

I look back now with thankfulness for all of the life changes that came my way - the good, the bad and the...   My relationship with God is closer than ever and my life is generally peaceful.  I can imagine how God might enjoy me and our relationship.  Yes, I greatly value my human experience and have inklings of how they might be valued and useful within the next life or realm.

Scripture confirms that God knows a  man's heart better than any man does.  It seems that God enjoys and responds to our conversations with Him.  The only church in town will teach people to pray - to work out a right relationship with God the Father through our Savior our Lord Jesus the Christ.  I'm so thankful that my parents brought me to church where I learned Who God was, what He revealed for us, and how to pray.

Just for today...

"As a child I seldom felt as though I had enough of anything - especially love , attention, and approval.  It seemed no matter what my parents said or did, I always wanted more.  As and adult I tried to get my needs met in other ways.  I ate too much, thinking I could fill my empty spaces with food.  I shopped in too many stores, searching for the  elusive merchandise that would finally make me feel complete.  I sought 'substitute parents' whose attention and approval would make me feel good about my life and myself."  Hope for Today (p. 182)

"'Why are you saying your ABCs so many times?' I asked the boy.  He replied, 'I'm saying my prayers.' I couldn't help but laugh. 'Prayers.? All I hear is the alphabet.' Patiently the boy explained, Well, I don't know all the words, so I give God the letters. God knows what I am trying to say.'"  Courage to Change (p. 182) 

"Squint to see; Truth or error - Seems real; Vanity fair?"
"Kneel to hear; Wait in peace - Take next step; Wonder ne'er cease."
"Prophets heard; Had to tell - I believe; All is well."                          Am I a Poet?

June 29th - Is Isolation a Sort of Cloaking Device?

The story...

I remember day dreaming about a scenario where everybody else was frozen in time . . . paused . . . and I was free to roam and do as I pleased.  At first, it seemed exciting breaking all of the rules and having free reign to go anywhere that I wanted to; but, I imagined transportation, food, and safety issues.  Then, I'd have to admit that it would be horribly lonely and purposeless living in isolation without relationships.  No, it wouldn't be better, more comfortable, enjoyable or even exciting for long.

How do we best respond when we're emotionally hurt by other people?  Do people really respond like Steve Martin in the movie "The Jerk?" Imagining we are self sufficient, don't need anyone else, pretending everything's okay, and moving further down the spiral towards self isolation.

What do we get when we self isolate?  Obsessive thoughts that justify the isolation along with their physical, mental and emotional consequences?   Erosion of the social skills that enabled us to get along with and cooperate with other selfish people?  A kind of withdrawal like Maverick's in Top Gun: "Maverick Engage!"

Cabbie's Imagined place of peace and bliss - Movie - Collateral

I hope that the only church in town will allow people the freedom to live out their lives themselves alongside others.  I hope that they wouldn't stay away from others for too long.  I hope that a good neighbor, who's also loved by God, would take the first steps toward creating a bridge for them to reenter community. ✌

Just for today...

"Each unconsciously suppresses facts that might reflect badly on him or her, and exaggerates the other's faults."  One Day at at Time (p. 181)

"I no longer merely have to survive the hour, the day, or even the year in loneliness and isolation.  Instead I can learn to trust someone else and take chances..."  Hope for Today (p. 181)

"They're not safe; Yet they're fun - Let's abide; Don't gotta run."
"Accept their love; As it's given - Fill your tank; Start a liven."
"Love overflows; Natural and true - He's the source; Comin thru you."   Am I a Poet?

June 28th - Relationships are found in the present

The story...

Freddy Fender's song "Wasted days and wasted nights" describes a man who's blue due to the choices of the girl which are beyond his control and influence.  He seems camped in his memories where he hoped that things would've been different - if only... then he'd be "all set."  He seems stuck in the past and wasting his present reality.

We may wish we could take back the wasted days and wasted nights trying to relive our past.  Strangely, our imagined perspective of the past is likely far different from the actual perspectives of those who shared it with us.  To compound the problem further, those who shared your past were likely focused on themselves and perceived a small part of what was going on.  They likely recall little about those days that were not so important to them.  Are they truly important to your current reality?

For my momma's last birthday presents, I loaded up an electronic photo frame with pictures from my mother's past.  It actually creeped me out as I left it displaying on our dining room table prior to giving it to her.  She seemed to have a similar reaction to it too.  Reality, in the present, is the best place to be - that's where your relationships are.  And, the present is where you meet with God too.

The only church in town will work out their faith in the present.  Truly they'll learn about God and his creatures from our record of the past.  They'll also enjoy the presence of God; their savior the Lord Jesus the Christ; and other members of the body of Christ there too. 

Just for today...

"I spent most of my life having expectations of, and making unrealistic demands on, everyone around me . . . the person I was hardest on was myself . . . Members encouraged me to eliminate 'have-tos' and 'shoulds' and to slow down so that I could consciously choose which changes felt right to me."  Hope for Today (p. 180)

"My life is too important to be wasted waiting for someone else's choices, even when it's someone I dearly love."  Courage to Change (p. 180)

"How happy and useful I could be if I weren't carrying around such a load of unpleasant emotional turmoil.  No one asks me to, so why do I?"  One Day at a Time (p. 180)

"If she only; He won't say - Try in vain; Blocks my way."
"Try lovin me; No can do - God loves first; Makes love true."
"Redeemed by Christ; Be in peace - Life's anew; So's the lease."    Am I a Poet?

June 27th - What might you teach you?

The story...

I'm thankful that I wrote some of my thoughts as I journeyed through life.  I'm often surprised at the clarity of my questions, the degree of focus, and how the conclusions of the moment were helpful to me during a later stage of life.  I especially appreciate the sketches - they remind me of the stuff that seems to need more than words and story to remember the more-whole picture.

The following picture is a sketch that I made about a vivid  dream, over ten years ago, where I seemed to be fully interacting.  I woke up with the type of memory, consternation, and feelings that sometimes come from events experienced in reality.

"The dream was so... real..."

When I video recorded my lectures, they were difficult for me to review and evaluate.  When developing a new course, I: studied multiple textbooks; reviewed seminal and current journal articles related to the body of knowledge; searched for current events; and reflected on how the knowledge was worked out within my own work life.  Therefore, the lectures seemed richer and more integrated than I might create at a later, less prepared, point in time.  I was often humbled by what a younger version of me could teach me about the subject.  This being true, I ignored the stammers, the awkward pauses, and the misspoken words that were sprinkled in.  The imperfections seem part of the richness of real life - the stuff that makes it more real and comfortable.

The people congregating within the only church in town will become comfortable together.  They'd have opportunities to honestly reflect on the reality of their lives together.  These shared experiences, thoughts, prayers, and daily happenings would be perceived increasingly inline within the will of God.  They'd see the Spirit of Christ worked out through real people whose hearts are partially revealed.

Just for today...

"... if I listen to my words, I find that I usually tell those whom I sponsor exactly what I myself need to hear."  Courage to Change (p. 179)

"Help you; Help me - We grow; We be."   Am I a Poet?

June 26th - What does a good day look like?

The story...

Ten thoughts regarding what a good day may find me doing:

• Trusting in God's will and provision
• Living in the present reality
• Engaging in life
• Eating, exercising, working and sleeping well
• Loving and receiving love
• Imagining the good future
• Resting peacefully
• Laughing with friends
• Learning something new
• Being true to who I am in Christ

Ten things that might happen to derail my plans for a good day:

• Financial loss
• Criticism from someone I respect
• Rejection
• Laziness
• Focus on myself and attempts to please me
• Efforts to try to fit in or be like the group
• No or nonchalant prayer
• Forced to perform a role that I'm not capable within
• Change of plans
• Suffering - me or those I care for

The only church in town would teach people to trust in God's revealed truth about who we are, what we might expect, how God has provided for us, and how we might find peace in all life circumstances.  (Phil. 4:11-13)

Just for today...

"It's as if I don't know how to handle happiness, so I start searching for difficulties to draw on."   Hope for Today (p. 178)

"I will not allow old resentments to drag me down any longer.  I am building a better and more loving life today."   Courage to Change (p. 178)

"Storms a brewing; Sun'll shine - Son's a growin; Still I whine."   Am I a Poet?

June 25th - Why do I resist prayer?

The story...

I was trained to be an industrial engineer (IE).  One of my IE tasks was to plan for the capacity to produce products.  I learned people learn new processes and systems at predictable rates.  Their speed of learning may be modeled by a constant percentage every time they double the total number of parts they've produced to date.  The multiplier will be at about 80% for simple assembly work and up to 95% for more complex work.  For an 80% manual-job learning curve, this rule-of-thumb would project that a 10 min. time for the 50th part would be reduced to 8 min. for the 100th part.  The idea is right even if my facts are a tad off.

So, what's the learning curve look like for my prayer life?  My capacity to pray and time I spent praying doesn't fit the learning curve model.   First, I don't remember being taught to pray.  My family often recited a version of the prayer Jesus taught His disciples before meals - I remember it as follows:

"Father, who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.  Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory forever, AMEN."  Luke 11:1-13  

I've listened to other people pray aloud - their prayers were addressed to themselves, the prayer group, God, Jesus, and sometimes to no one in particular.  My prayer history had ebbs and flows, desert and rainy seasons, anxiety and peace, new truth and despair, full acceptance and lost, long and short, revelation and no sense of change, quiet and loud, on my knees or speeding, one-way and two-way, natural and foreign, loving and left outside, trusting and questioning...

I wish I'd prayed more.  I'm going to pray right down and tell you what happened when I'm done.  Here it goes...

I prayed for 8 min. 5 sec. My heart was right, I praised and thanked God.  I made my requests known for others. I was quiet for about a third of the time and felt emotions and physical feeling within my body too.  It felt good and right - a place where I want to be.  Yet, as I'm typing I've returned to my life journey.  My prayer respite is but a memory.  I wonder how that prayer might've affected lives and God's intervention.  We may never know the answer to questions like these.  Yet, God has revealed that prayer's critical towards our relationship and receipt of His lovingkindness. 

Yes, the only church in town would be a place of prayer.  People would work out increasingly reliant relationships with our God and seek Him and His will in prayer.  If we were prayerful sorts, might we enjoy each other more?  He's faithful.

Just for today...

"Am I too busy too pray? Have I no time for meditation? Then let me ask myself whether I have been able to solve my problems without help."  One Day at a Time (p. 177)

"Eyes on me; I insist - Quiet with Him; I resist."
"Wanna but don't; Why's it so? - Peacefully praying; Best we know."   Am I a Poet?

June 24th - What's a Good Life?

 The story...

It's 6:37am and I don't know what'll happen today.  I and others have plans and a will for what we'd like to see happen.  Yet, all our plans don't fit together into that one jigsaw puzzle that'd look like our good day.

As a professor, I was responsible for advising my graduate students regarding their course selections in the light of their career plans and vision for working out their good life.  I rarely heard a good description of what they thought a good life would look like or even if the concept had merit.  Most would ask me: "what is a good life?"

There are some life variables that we've some degree of control over.  We can decide to wake up at 6:00am and set our alarm(s) to increase the likelihood that we do.  We can forecast what's likely to happen and plan our days accordingly - like checking the weather.  Or, we can react to random variables as they come our way - like the unexpected behavior of other drivers out on the road.

Most likely 24.5 but was 19

The truth is that we can't count on our next breath.  It's truly remarkable that you are alive and reading this blog posting.  We know that in the next moment we could experience: a stroke, a heart attack, being hit by an object, that head-on crash, that random bullet, catastrophic weather, or even being squashed by a rocket or meteorite.

People within the only church in town will find all joy and peace from the God of Hope (Rom. 15:13). This hope is possible without regard to the wavering circumstances of our lives.  Our sovereign God offers His peace in the midst of life's circumstances for those who are His forever.

Just for today...

• Live more in the present.  
• Listen to others with the intent to understand.  
• Ask people for permission before sharing your perspective.
  

"I want this; May get that - Meet reality; Where it's at."
"She forms you; Maturing slow - Believe God there; Then ya'll grow"   Am I a Poet?

June 23rd - Being Honest with Me

The story...

Much of my life was spent trying to change me in ways that'd: satisfy my ego; protect me from harm; experience love; feed my economic engine; provide me with comfortable stuff; get along with others; or to scratch that "itch."  Maybe I could've worked out that plan without the power of God if circumstances and random variables would've gone my way?  

I remember hearing that my sin separated me from a relationship with the Creator of all things - I was 7 or 8 years old and I was listening to a loving-old woman tell me this "truth," using a flannelgraph, at a neighbors house.  She asked if anybody wanted to come up front and receive God's gift of forgiveness and restoration.  I must have recognized the "iniquity" in my life - my heart and mind wanting good yet behaving differently.  I was the sole hearer to come up to the front to make a profession of faith.  It may've been a divine appointment.  What actually happened there is both mysterious and wonderful - the trajectory of my life changed.

The flannelgraph told "The" story in a more colorful way

I experienced the fleeting pleasures of sin yet attempted to serve even as an "Acolyte" lighting candles in church.  At 15, I made a promise to God that I'd serve him if he saved me from a predicament.  At 21, I felt brokenness and earnestly read the four Gospels during the summer of 1980.  I was surprised to hear who Jesus the Christ was.  I ask my Mom: "Why didn't anyone tell me this before?"  My mom replied something like: "Oh you heard all those stories in church and Sunday school..."  God took the reins of my life thereafter and seemed to have orchestrated my life as though I was living out a role in some sort of play - I did my part and things seemed to work their way out.

My personal book of life records: hope, faith, drifting, achievement, disappointment, joy, success, failure, love, hurt, friendships, and an increasingly closer walk/relationship with my Creator.  I've experienced much through the grace of God - I'm so thankful for all of my life experiences.  He drew me closer and closer to Him and my capacity to love God, myself, and others has grown too.  I stand thankful for my faith in God - right with Him in Christ - the Bible told me so. 

Just for today...

"The courage to be honest with ourselves is one quality we can cultivate to help our spiritual growth."  Courage to Change (p. 175)

Stewart, J. S. (1935). A man in Christ: The vital elements of St. Paul’s religion. 

"We're all different; Want the same - Wanna please; Know our name."
"Give up trying; Right with Him - Quietly fruitful;  Freed from sin."    Am I a Poet?

June 22nd - Peace = Freedom from the cares of this world?

The story...

My mother struggled through the last stage of life.  She had trouble standing, turning, and remembering things that linked her to this current life.  She said goodbye to this life and hello to the next.  I loved my momma, yet prayed, each day, that God would receive her into His hand.  She worked out her part in the story of life.

A new life yet to be written

As my momma's orphaned son, my soul's quiet.  The quietness was strange at first; but, now seems normal.  I'm not sensing related feelings of: happiness, fearfulness, sadness, anger, shame or guilt.  My mind doesn't question what my role should've been during those last days.  It's possible that this is God given peace - I do feel right, balanced, hopeful and more prepared.

I previously posted the following bible verse on this blog - it's the verse that offers me the most hope.

"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."  Romans 15:13 (NASB)  

It seems that joy is a God-given state of well being, thankfulness and appreciation.  Might peace be a release from the cares of the world?  What a wonderful wish of hope from the Apostle Paul to those believers in Rome whom he hadn't met.

People would experience hope, joy and peace within the only church in town.  Oh that God would continually fill each of us with His power to face life's circumstances with active hope.

Just for today...

"When I blamed others for how I felt, I was giving them power over my feelings, power that rightly belonged to me.  Nobody can make me feel anything without my consent."  Courage to Change (p. 174)

"Want that; Got this - Today's good; Maybe bliss."
"Truly content; Actually be - Christ's light; Shining me."   Am I a Poet?

June 21st - Bike Tours Bathe in Kindness

The story...

What does kindness mean to me?  I remember when older, wiser, and more powerful adults invested their time with me and took an interest in what I thought, did and hoped for - they were kind.  I remember people allowing me to share my thoughts when they had more knowledge or knew where I was wrong - I likely wasn't aware of their kindness.  I remember people witnessing my sadness and coming along side me until I felt better - kindness felt.  I remember riding my bicycle across Iowa in July; people fed me, watered me, entertained me, and provided a safe, more comfortable, place - the whole bike journey and Iowa seemed kind.

RAGBRAI - Kindness

So, am I a kind person?  I'd like to think I am.  Yet, I've limits to the degree that I'm willing to engage in other people's lives and share my limited resources.  Why?  I don't want to characterize myself as self-centered though I know that I'm selfish by nature - I've a track record that confirms it.  I was busy doing the work thing, raising my family, and amassing the stuff I thought I needed to achieve my life expectations - the "too busy" thing is no longer an excuse for not being kind.

I'd like to be characterized as a kind person.  So, what's my game plan?  I expect kindness is something different than love.  Maybe it's love worked out amongst others.  As a supervisor, it was unkind to not hold subordinates accountable for improving and achieving good results.  As a parent, it was unkind to try to fulfill your children's desires and thereby stunt their growth.  So, kindness probably isn't perpetually doting on or "helping" others.  I expect that kindness is intertwined, with love, justice, and respect too.  Sometimes, kindness may mean separating from one you love, saying goodbye, so that they can venture out on a new path that they must say hello to without you.  I know that God is kind yet true to all of His other qualities too.  People who've been pruned or disciplined by God may not feel kindness until they came closer to God, with a right heart - the peace of God.

The only church in town will have people who are living the good life in Christ, trusting God's promises, and more rightly related to God in actualities.  People would live out their life circumstances together and experience love along the way.  Like selfish caterpillars morphing into a kinder and more loving butterfly - the power of God transforms people like me.

Just for today...

"If I concentrate on being tolerant and kind at all times, with everyone, it will soon become and automatic reaction, no matter how trying the circumstances might be.  This attitude will color whatever I do and make me more acceptable, to myself as well as to others."  One Day at a Time (p. 173)

"Ya seem okay; Met my need - I'm better; Watered my seed."
"I'm growing; To separate someday - Blooming forever; Christ's way."   Am I a Poet?

June 20th - The Stacking Habit

The story...

My story begins with an attempt to share a bad habit that I replaced with a good one.  I selected a habit that to change over the next month.  Was I able to replace the habit with a better one?  Would I be more comfortable with me?

The habit I choose was: organizing the stuff near my side of the bed every day.  I've a habit of stacking things and quickly tossing items to the nearest stack.  The stacking seemed to invite my spouse, without actually saying so, to stack stuff there too.  I willed to organize my side of my bedroom every day after I completed the nytimes.com "Wordle" game.

My Wordle result - 05/17/23

It's been said that a good way to begin a new habit is to "Stack" it after a habit that you find pleasure in and look forward to.  Personally, I look forward to every Sunday morning when I meet my friends at church, synch our lives, remind each other of the reality of what God's revealed, and to praise and wordship "That in Which There is No Greater."  Being involved in the only church in town will involve people and their sin which will inevitably cause conflict and problems when focused on the Holy.  God's Word and Power will offer peace for each of his "Christ Ones" as they navigate through life together.  People and their habits being transformed toward...

IS THE STACKING PHENOMENA OVER?  No, I still have a stack of stuff next to my bed although I do periodically organize.  Maybe the stacking is part of my routine/habits that best fits this stage of my life?  I'm okay with the stacking me today - living in the present more honestly and humbly.

Just for today...

"The 'defects of character' I want to be rid of are sure to have deep roots in habit . . . If I am truly willing, I will see them replaced gradually by impulses of a different quality, that I can live with, comfortably and free from self-reproach."   One Day at a Time (p. 172)

"The first step in learning to respond more effectively to others is to learn to respond more effectively to myself.  I can learn to respond with love, caring, and respect for myself, even for those parts of me that experience fear, confusion, and anger."  Courage to Change (p. 172)

"Ain't no plan; Results aren't good - Try again; Don't like should."
"Someone loves me; We're a team - Do as one; Smiles gleam."    Am I a Poet?

June 19th - "I Get it! - Why is it so hard for you?"

The story...

I remember my older sister teaching me how a letter in a math equation represented a quantity that could vary or have only one possible correct answer.  Initially, I rejected the idea that a math equation could contain letters - "come on, you can get it, it's easy."  I eventually did get it.  In fact, I got it before the rest of the kids in my class were even introduced to the idea.  Yes, I was something - the pride of life. 

My brain was now "wired" to better understand what a variable was and that there were relationships between many things.  I took math all the way through differential equations and applied linear statistical models - it wasn't easy but I made it through many new ways of thinking that helped me to model and solve problems within complex systems.  I better learned some of the equations that govern how our reality works - the way He designed it.  I learned to design experiments, work problems through groups with Six-Sigma, and eventually took on responsibility for a chunk of the body of knowledge as a professor.  "Cite your sources."  "What's the basis of your claim?"   "Record your assumptions." "I don't care about your opinions - give me the facts."  "Popular Mechanics is not a peer-reviewed journal - you can't cite anything from that periodical."  Eventually, most got it too.

I've moved on from my professor role. I haven't taught a class, mentored a fledgling researcher, or served as a journal article peer-reviewer for over five years.  Some question how I could work so hard along a life path and then go in a new direction.  My new path, or life purpose, is to become a better man and community member who walks closer and more humbly with God in Christ.  It seems my eyes are focused more on others and my heart leans closer towards eternity - that's a good place to be.

The only church in town will represent the community who are encouraged to live out the phase of life that they're actually in.  People in the later phases will show respect and dignity to people who are walking through a phase they've previously lived through.

Just for today...

"Blaming my discomfort on outside events can be a way to avoid facing the real cause - my own attitudes.  I can see what is happening in my life and take responsibility for my response."  Courage to Change (p. 171)

"As I understand the difficult task of facing myself and my faults.  I will guard against self-justification and self-righteousness."  One Day at at Time (p. 171)

"I'm all set; Life's a bore - Engage again; Tired and sore."
"Made to work; Yes I am - Seeing more; Trusting Him."   Am I a Poet?

June 18th - Expectations - A Blame Game

The story...

Thankfully my spouse and I chose to stay members of the same church for 40 years.  Along that journey, most attenders decided to move to another church that better met their needs.  In my limited experience, they were most often disappointed with pastor(s).

Their complaints often go along the following lines of reasoning:  Shouldn't the preacher have worked out their faith regarding the doctrine they espoused.  Shouldn't I see gaps between the quality of their life and the life of the pastor.  The pastor should've worked out a more honest an ongoing spiritual life based on a calling to serve and a superior knowledge of God's revelations.  Do they have a deep and honest relationship with God?  Weren't they ordained and vetted by the people who know God and His Word?  Is their relationship with God reflected in their loving relationships with others too.  Shouldn't the pastor's life be characterized by the peace of God worked out within most of life's circumstances?  "Shouldn't I be able to witness God's promises fulfilled in a life worked out through faith in His revealed Word?"  If he can't actually work out this honest good life then why am I listening to him?  "Is he a 'jar of clay?'"

Some people stay and choose to accept their pastor as they are and dote on them - treat them as a sort of pet who needs a lot of attention and kindness to be okay and happy.  Give them a lot of positive feedback, getaway vacations, and gifts.  They likely brag about the qualities of their pastor while they treat him as a sort of "better" extension of themselves.  Emphasize and highlight "everything" that happens in their lives and give them plenty of attention too.  

Yes, it's easier to blame or dote on the pastor rather than to be honest with our own reality.  Scripture says that we're born with this "sin" problem that separates us from our Holy Creator.  Our efforts to learn and apply the secrets of the "good" life are in vain due to our inherent sin nature.  We must obey the greatest commandment to love the Lord our God with all our heart, mind and soul and our neighbor as ourselves; yet, it's not within our nature to truly do so.  God says that His Son, Jesus the Christ, died to atone for this sin debt that separates each of us from a right relationship with our Holy God - our Father.  Even more strangely, scripture says that only God knows whose heart, inner person, is right with God and whose isn't.  And stranger yet, He indwells those who are truly His via the Holy Spirit or the Spirit of Christ.  He is our evidence of our salvation and the "seal' that confirms that we're right with God.  That's good news that people would treasure within the only church in town.

Holy Spirit - In stone

Just for today...

"Will I blame others for what I do on the ground that I am compelled to react to their wrongdoing?" One Day at a Time (p. 170)

"I was in the habit of blaming two particular people for all my problems.  I would take turns detesting and obsessing about each of them instead of focusing on myself."  Hope for Today (p. 170)

"I'm not okay; You seem better - We struggle; Can't get along."
"Got good intentions; You did wrong - You seem happy; Whilst I'm sad."    Am I a Poet?

June 17th - Remember the joy of floating down that river?

The story...

There's a dam and a river between Hamlin Lake and Lake Michigan.  The dam regulates the current flow - inner-tubbers can slowly float to lake Michigan on most summer days.  It flows faster as it narrows and slows as it widens.  As it breaks through the sandy beach, it speeds up in the narrows and  cuts deeper.  Eventually, it flows into Lake Michigan.

The memories of floating and swimming with friends invokes feelings of happiness and a sense of peacefulness.  It took a lot of work to get all of the floats, fins, life jackets, towels, goggles, books, lotion, and beach chairs to their correct position at either the start or end of the float trip.  One person had to drop the van off and run back to the start.

That lazy river might be a metaphor for life.  God has a will for our lives that flows with relative ease and purpose.  Yet we can kick hard to try to go back upstream, worry about a little bit of rain when we're already wet, venture into the shallows to check out a shiny object, or even kick to the shallows and slow way down while watching others float along.  I remember jumping out to tow a couple tubes and stepping on a fishing hook - ugh.  Yes, floating is about resting and trusting in the river's power.

The only church in town would teach about God's revealed power and provision.  Life, like the river, requires us to do our part and trust God for the rest.  Might we work out our part of the problem and detach?  Let God do the heavy lifting and directing as only He can do.

Just for today...

"... if I could subordinate my will to His.  This is a stumbling block for so many of us: we feel obliged to apply the force of our will to our problems.  No solutions can be found in this way."  One Day at a Time (p. 169)

"Floating free; Oer powered water - Being along; To Thy end."   Am I a Poet?

June 16th - Dignity and Respect Worked Out

The story...

When I assigned my kids a job, like raking the lawn, I assumed that they'd want to learn and follow my best method.  How do you know what a well-groomed yard looks like unless you're told?  I had this compelling  urge to "jump into" the process if it wasn't going the way I thought was best..

Personally, I like to be shown a best way to perform a job and then be left alone to try it for awhile - time to work out my own method.  I do want to know what a "good job" looks like yet it's easy to get information overload - too much information too soon.  I do have a strange sense of satisfaction when I learn a new task/job and cast my eyes on my completed work.  I know that most people don't view or experience work the same way I do; yet, I expect that most people enjoy that deep-down satisfaction of a job well done.  Self-respect and dignity seem intertwined as we exercise our abilities - work.

The only church in town will have a variety of opportunities for people to engage in work both as individuals and as groups - find that good person-job fit.  I'd hope that they'd experience the love of the Spirit of Christ as they're treated with respect and love along the way.  Might we all agree that relationships are much more important than the fine trimmed lawn?

Just for today...

"... if I take over other people's responsibilities, I may rob them of the chance to accomplish something and to feel good about what they've done.  Although I am trying to help, my actions may be communicating a lack of respect for my loved one's abilities.  When I detach with love, I offer support by freeing those I care about to experience both their satisfactions and disappointments."  Courage to Change (p. 168)

"Here's how; Give it a try - That's good; Practice awhile."
"Check back; Be prepared - I'm available; You're able."    Am I a Poet?

June 15th - Seek first to understand and relate to others

The story...

I arrived late to my son's baseball game and merged into the crowd to see my son walking up to the plate.  I yell out some "remember to..." encouragement and he turns in my direction and asks "what did you say?"  The audience looks at me and I sat embarrassed.  I knew then that my behavior was wrong and didn't forget the incident.  It helped me see a problem but didn't reveal the cause. 

Old home plate in our back yard

Much of my life has been spent repeatedly attempting to convey and convince others of my further understanding on any topic of interest to me.  I may've justified this demeaning behavior as a means for "helping" others and refining my thoughts by testing and defending them.  In reality, I inhibited relationships, other people's growth, and my own growth too.  Most importantly, the behavior restrained life-giving relationships.

For me, a better way has been to work out a sincere interest in people as they are and where they are.  It's strange that it would be a surprise to me that people, whom I take a sincere interest in, seem to become sincerely interested in me too. Close friendships are now part of my definition of the "good" life - I don't want to work my way through life without them.

The only church in town will likely have a preacher who will frequently speak to the full congregation.  I hope that the messages would be centered around who we are in Christ and less about what we should, or oughta, be thinking or doing.

Just for today...

"What are the attitudes and behaviors that may have served me (or at least gave the illusion of serving me) in the past but now limit my capacity to experience joy and fulfillment?  What are the resentments that keep me in bondage to the past?"  Hope for Today (p. 167)

"I will not add to the problem by using cruel, clever words to humiliate a fellow human being. In doing so, I would be shaming myself."  Courage to Change (p. 167)

"They seem odd; What'd I do? - Probably me; Maybe you."
"Again I'm wrong; Why'd I guess? - Skeptical attitude; Ain't the best."   Am I a Poet?

June 14th - It works for me - why not for you too?

The story...

Oh the countless hours spent coaching others regarding how they might best improve their lives based on my own learnings and experiences.  Sharing my ways of living seemed like a noble endeavor.  This "story teller" style of interaction attracted listeners.  The dream of telling stories as a professor seemed like a good person-job fit so I worked that long winding path towards a PhD.  The last ten years of my career were spent living out my dream job.

I imagined being a professor who lived on a quiet-tree-lined street, in a one-story house, with a big front porch.  Students would stop by to discuss their research work, to talk about life, or to imagine what might be.  We'd work consulting engagements together where we'd make a real difference.  As you might expect, it didn't work out the way I imagined.  Students and fellow professors tired me by the end of the day and I looked forward to retiring to my condo outside of campus.

Towards the end of the semester, during my first year teaching in Duluth, MN, a student made a comment to me within a large lecture hall.  "I don't see why we're tested on opinions that you have about anything - shouldn't we be tested on what's proved to be true about the subject?"  He was right; thereafter, I clearly distinguished my opinion from the body of knowledge that we studied together.

So, I do know a lot of stuff; yet, know that a man should be taught as though they've not been taught. Who can know the will of God for another person?  Within the past three years, I've more frequently kept my opinions to myself and found that I now have few opinions as to what another person might best do or be.  It seems, I don't naturally gravitate to forming opinions about other people anymore.  I do look for, and greatly appreciate, closer relationships with other people and, most importantly, a closer walk with God through the Spirit of Christ.

Interpersonal skills worthy of emulating...

Within the only church in town, people would be allowed to actually grow in their love for God, for themselves, and for other people too.  Each person loving in their own unique way and at their own pace.   The measure of their faith wouldn't be primarily based on their knowledge of scripture or church resume - they'd be a unique work of God, rightly related to Him, and humbly walking together.

Just for today...

"It's only natural to want to share what works for me with those I love.  But, when I must share it now, I may be more interested in changing others than in sharing my experience, strength, and hope."  Courage to Change (p. 166)

"We ought not to insist on everyone following in our footsteps, nor to take upon ourselves to give instructions in spirituality when, perhaps, we do not even know what it is."  Teresa of Avila

"Barney works; Betty cares - Fred bowls; Wilma shares"
"Easy to see; As they are - With big ears; We'll learn far."   Am I a Poet?

June 13th - Love 'em Just the Way They Are or Control 'em?

The story...

As a boy, I learned to conform to the norms of the family, friends, classroom and church.  When I was rejected by the teacher, peer groups, family members, or "that girl;" then I'd adapt, roll with the punches, and even craft my own role to "act" out.  As an adolescent, I often rebelled against the system.

I played the cornet in the band throughout middle school and high school.  This was the group that I best identified with.  However, I "pushed back" against the control that was exercised by the band director.  I refused to participate in any performance challenges during my Junior year.  I merely picked up my horn case and moved down to the lower seat.  I witnessed this behavior from the best trumpet player - I joined him and carried it on.  The director solved the problem by putting us in a trumpet section - we actually played more of the melody together.  

Controlling to the Extreme

The band director asked that I record my practice hours on a card during my senior year.  He let me know that it was for my benefit and did not require a parent signature.  I took it home and entered two weeks of zeros.  I asked my mom and dad to both sign the practice card - they did.  The band director looked at the signed practice sheet and said: "It appears that this isn't going to work with you."

I worked as a drug-store delivery boy and was assigned to work a Friday evening that required I miss the football game.  The director wouldn't accept my excuse and told me that he better see me in the band formation prior to the game.  I went to work anyway and drove the delivery car through the band formation while waving at the director.  I earned a "D" in band my senior year.

During my Senior year of college I brought two of my friends to my home town and actually took them on a tour of my High School.  The band director saw me as I was making moves to avoid him.  I was shocked at how respectfully he treated me and my friends.  I'm so thankful for that man and how he worked to shape that rebellious spirit in me. He wasn't the last person to reach out with help.

The people in the only church in town will be wonderfully created to be their best as a group.  Strangely, people are drawn to adapt their behavior, or role play, in order to fit the group's expectations of who they "should" be.  Hopefully, the only church in town would love 'em as they are and offer them a path to grow their faith in their own way and at their own pace.  I'm so thankful that the Patriarchs of the bible were often rebels who God loved and redeemed.

Just for today...

"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image.  Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them."  Thomas Merton:  No Man is an Island.

"That's not right; I can see - My way's better; They need me."
"Show'em how; Tell'em again - Prickly I am; Feel that sin."    Am I a Poet? 

June 12th - Freedom from Co-Dependency

The story...

I grew up believing that we were right and they were wrong.  Those who were different were dummies.  Follow our rules and code and distance yourself from others who think or behave differently - the group had the right opinion about everything.  My rebellious personality enabled me to break free and experience a broader scope of ideas, behaviors and ways for working out my life.  Thank goodness that I sought to understand others and was curious about their ways of living.  However, like a good soldier, I gravitated toward accepting a set of rules for working out my Christian life.  Yet, I rebelled along the journey - oh... yet for the grace of God and His pursuit of me.

Robert Subby (1984) defined Co-Dependency as "An emotional, psychological, and behavioral condition that develops as a result of an individual's prolonged exposure to, and practice of, a set of oppressive rules - rules which prevent the open expression of feelings as well as the direct discussion of personal and interpersonal problems."

Melody Beattie (1992) described how she spent most of her time worrying about people and trying to figure out how to control them - manipulation seemed for her like the only way to get things done. She  later realized that she needed to take care of herself first and allow others the dignity to live out their own lives.

The only church in town might focus on the greatest commandments:  Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind.  And, love your neighbor as yourself.  Attenders would learn how they might find freedom from the co-dependency fostered by a set of legalistic rules designed to control congregate behavior.  Shame and guilt replaced by grace and love.  The presence of the Spirit of Christ would validate the reality of the gospel.  People with right relationships with their Creator and maybe a few people too.

Just for today...

"I discovered how much I wanted other people to change so that I could be happy."  Hope for Today (p. 164)

Beattie, M., (1992). Codependent No More - How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring For Yourself.

Mr. Stewart describes what it is like to live a life in Christ as opposed to reducing the Apostle Paul's revelations into a set of rules for living the Christian life.  This book was like a wonderful breath of fresh air for my spirit.  Stewart, J. S. (1935). A Man in Christ - The Vital Elements of St. Paul's Religion

"Fuller person; I can be - Mindfully more; Kind to me"
"What I lack; We got more - Loved in Christ; Created for..."   Am I a Poet?