April 24th - Judged and Rejected

The story...

In the early 1990s, a friend of mine shared an experiment that he tried - he was shocked at the results.  He was a big burly sort of guy who sang in his church choir.  He wore a magnetically attached earring on his left ear lobe one Sunday.  The behaviors and feelings that were overtly expressed by the group were strong and directed towards him.  He was rejected by the group without any words being shared.  I was fascinated by the story so I naively decided to give it a try myself.

I set up the scenario by bemoaning that I needed a change in my life for a few days.  Then I went to the mall with my young son and bought the magnetic earring.  I couldn't lie to my son so he was in on it.  When I walked into the door, the one who loves me most was shocked, doubted the reality, shocked again, doubted the reality again, and then finally, yet reluctantly, accepted this new change.  They were bruised when they realized it was fake and that I'd put them through the emotional anguish.

It was a different story with my siblings and parents.  I later regretted "trying" the same experiment on them.  My mother accepted it right away yet expressed worry about how other family members would react.  My brother curled up in a ball on the couch and rocked back and forth in disbelief.  I don't remember how my sisters reacted yet I think that they decided to wait it out.  My dad fully rejected me and indirectly shared a story about what happened to people like that in the Navy.  I was judged differently by different people.  Would I try an experiment like this again?  No, it wasn't fair to me or for them. I'd rather read about somebody else's experiment - it hurt all of us.

I'm hoping that the only church in town would welcome the whole community.  Oh, if those who were invited to enter the doors could feel the love of God expressed through those who are His...

Just for today...

"I must guard against judging others by my standards.  It means examining and improving those standards and living up to them myself."  One Day at a Time (p. 115)

April 23rd - Feelings

The story...

The songwriter must feel a sort of onus when they copyright a song with a title that's a word that means so much.  Morris Albert's 1975 song "Feelings" is one of those songs.  I'm glad that Morris' song was done well - you can feel it.

Thank you Ivan and Morris - well done.

Sure, the song was overplayed on the radio - many people complained about it.  Yet, I expect that the underlying problem is that people often don't know what to do with their feelings.  As you probably know, many people suppress them and have a difficult time acknowledging or expressing them.  It might start with that one real-strong feeling that you held back and buried.

Why not do periodic feeling checkups?  Are you feeling happy, fearful, sad, angry, shameful, or guilty?  If so, why?  Feelings are wonderful human sensing mechanisms that can help us better understand and more fully engage in life - kind of like a latent super hero's power.  With practice, we don't have to quickly react to them or hang onto them too long.  My 1992 T-group experience was formative for my emotional awareness - it provided evidence that we can be more emotionally intelligent and thereby live more fully - more in tune with what's going on.

Yes, the only church in town would have places, or groups, where congregants might work out their life more fully - appreciated for being the uniquely gifted person that we all are.  We're created in the image of God with feelings.

Just for today...

"As long as I kept them trapped inside me, my feelings were painful and poisonous secrets.  When I let them out, they became expressions of my vitality."  Courage to Change (p. 116)

"Just as prayer is my way of talking with God, meditation is my way of listening for direction."  Hope for Today (p. 116)

April 22nd - Sophomore Year

The story...

I moved my stuff into a new dorm room for my Sophomore year of college.  My new room and roommate were better.  I greatly valued the dorm floor community - especially the upper classmen that I'd looked up to and learned from.  They left - I felt an ache and missed them.  Yet, there were the excitable new Freshman who were ready to be treated as "adults" yet not ready, or able, to behave that way.

I was walking to lunch and I noticed a friends new roommate's name on his door.  I thought it said his last name was "Lordy" so I made a quick joke and we all laughed about it.  This new Freshman's nickname was "Lordy" thereafter.

Lordy was different from any person I'd known.  He was raised without the boundaries of a moral code that I was use to.  He did what he wanted to do.  His good looks, fun personality, lack of boundaries, and interest in almost everyone, led him into destructive "radical" patterns - his future seemed risky at best. 

For example, he'd read trade journals, that my dad gave me, rather than studying for tomorrow's exam - I didn't read the trade journals.  He rode home laying on the roof of a car, gazing at the stars, to feel something new.  He experienced deep short-term relationships with the girls that most guys dreamed of just being noticed by.  He tried things that were illegal without concern of risk.  He seemed to be a shooting star that'd burn out too soon.  I'm told that he later became an evangelist - a preacher!

"That Than Which there is No Greater" is in control and His will will be worked out whether we like it or not.  The story of Jonah and his call for the big city of Nineveh to turn from evil, so that God would relent from His planned destruction, is a great example.  Jonah didn't want God to save any from this enemy city.  Yet, God directed Jonah to proclaim that He would save them and He did - He saved all of them.  Why wouldn't God do the same thing for Jonah's people in Israel?  God's ways are not our ways nor His thoughts our thoughts.

The only church in town would be God's called out group of people.  They'd listen to God's revealed Word, believe it, and trust Him.

Just for today...

Consider reading the book of Jonah.  And, following up with Matthew 12:38-41.  Whoa!

"... we neither love nor hate those in whom we have no interest  . . . Love has a chance to flower in a shared life; hate is love twisted and warped by disillusionment and despair."  One Day at a Time (p. 113)

"We decide to place our will and our life in the hands of God.  We let go of burdens that were never ours to carry.  And we begin to treat ourselves more kindly and more realistically."  Courage to Change (p. 113)

April 21st - Opinions

The story...

"In my opinion, this is right because of A, B, and C; therefore, I'm right until you prove me wrong." There were at least a dozen different possible interpretations.  Some were more likely than others; yet, only one was true.

Opinions may be likened to barbed wire fences.  We may erect them to keep out the wrong people and the contaminating ideas that go along with them.  In reality, the fences can keep us isolated, narrow minded, stunted and "pricked" each time we bounce into them.

Many of the issues that Christians have with other Christians are related to opinions rather than scriptural or scientific facts.  Christianity and grace seem to go against the natural order of life that I've experienced.  I don't expect that I'd have searched or reasoned out truths about God without them being revealed in scripture.  The things that Jesus is quoted as having said seemed surprising to the people of their day and to me too.  Truly, God's ways are not my ways nor His thoughts my thoughts.

The fundamentals of Christianity are wonderful, operational, and freeing.  The only church in town would focus on working out the essentials while loving and respecting each individual member.

Just for today...

"My intolerance was rooted in two of my main character defects - fear and insecurity.  My opinions were inseparable from my self-image.  If my opinions were wrong, I was wrong.  If my philosophy wasn't good enough, I wasn't good enough."  Hope for Today (p. 112)

"With this solid foundation of love and support, our individual differences can only make us richer as a whole."  Courage to Change (p. 112)

April 20th - Growing Together

The story...

Early in my career, I learned a simulation programming language that only one other person in my workplace knew.  We were simulating, or programming, the reality of manufacturing processes in a way that we could better understand how the processes behaved.  A validated model could be used to predict how changes to the process, system, or environment would affect/effect real outcomes.  I worked through my dynamic "modeling" problems, during non--work hours, yet had nobody to talk them through with until we met again the next morning.  Sure, I could call the software help line but their help wasn't the same.  We needed each other.  And, we grew together by modeling reality together.  We were the only ones in the organization that could understand the language.  We experienced models that worked and those that didn't - together.

Self disclosure came easy to me yet close friendships did not - they take work.  I know that it feels good for me to talk out my thoughts - the unresolved.  Thoughts seem to come together into a more understandable, clearer, and actionable way when they see the light of day.  It sure helps if the person, that I am sharing with, wants to understand me and values our relationship too.

Your pet could be the one that you work out your thoughts with.  They certainly can be attentive, appreciative, readily available, and safe too.  Might it be better to tell a trusted friend than a pet?  

Tulips - Like Friendships? 😊

The only church in town would be the place where friends could share the reality of their common faith in Christ worked out in the actualities of life.  It seems good that they'd have opportunities to develop trusted friend(s) through whom they might more fully work out their life together - the successes and the suffering too.

Just for today...

"'Let Go and Let God,' and turn my problems over to God?  Wasn't I expected to solve my own and everyone else's problems, have all the answers, and support the behavior patterns, no matter how destructive?  How could I keep my family together?"  Hope for Today (p. 111)

"Sometimes I have to fight the old urge to keep quiet at all costs, but I have found that sharing is the key to healing. . . By sharing honestly with people I trust, I challenge the old, negative ideas."  Courage to Change (p. 111)

April 19th - Lowered Expectations

 The story...

I worked out much of my life as the idealist.  "It's not good the way things are and they should be different."  My "idealistic" ideas seemed virtuous; yet, in my limited understanding, didn't work themselves out well in the light of day.  There seemed to be more negative outcomes than positive - I know that I wasn't comfortable serving within some board member roles.  My "idealistic" presence may have hindered God's Hand in the development of the good church that might meet people's needs as they actually are.

There're reasons for why things are the way they are.  The status quo is meeting needs in ways that we aren't aware of or maybe even able to understand.  Our ways are not God's ways and our thoughts are not His thoughts.  It seems, He has plans that require building some up, slowly teaching some, breaking some down, calling some to faith, asking some to take a first step, sequencing events for a great work, or even generating dissatisfaction so people move out in different directions.

Are you ready to pack up and move on?

I expect the only church in town would have the advantage of not needing to clarify and magnify their distinctive differences as compared to the other church alternatives.in town.  They'd focus on the God-revealed truth that all people are living under a sin curse - original sin.  That sin separates all people from our most holy God and Creator.  God performed the great sacrificial work on our behalf - nothing required from us but faith in what Christ alone has already done.  Faith in the reality that we're redeemed as a new creature - redeemed and adopted into God's family in Christ.  Wow!

Just for today...

"I've learned that I have the ability to adjust my expectations so that I no longer set myself up for constant disappointment."  Courage to Change (p. 110)

"When I first stopped trying to fix other people, I turned my attention to 'curing myself'."  Hope for Today (p. 110)

Read and own Ephesians chapter 2.  Use a different translation if what you read doesn't make sense to both your mind and your inner person.  Please don't quit until you've grasped these wonderful truths about who we are in Christ - then hold on! 

April 18th - Be that Friend

The story...

A guy, with black glasses and an afro hair style, invited me over to his house - it was the kind of action that can develop a friendship.  The friendship lasted long enough for me to learn how to juggle.  Starting with two balls in one hand, then three balls, then three different types of objects, and eventually juggling three balls back and forth with my new friend.

My juggling skills have brought me joy throughout my life.  I'm thankful to that kid, in high school, who made the effort to become a friend with me.

I hope that every person within the only church in town would have at least one close friend.  The kind of friend that you can walk through life with, be vulnerable or less guarded with, and grow together.  Friendships are great yet they aren't necessary or permanent.  They're worth the risk and effort.  Why not ask that potential friend over to juggle today?

Just for today...

"I had to give what I wanted to receive and become what I wanted to attract. . . As I grew kinder and more loving, other people responded to the change. . . Today I can take an active role in fulfilling my needs.  I can choose to become someone I would want to have in my life."  Courage to Change (p. 109)

"Much of my present insanity stemmed from my inability to accept and feel compassion for myself because of my past choices and behaviors . . . I am turning my painful history into today's blessings and strengths."  Hope for Today (p. 109)

April 17th - Try Giving Up Trying

The story...

Dale Carnegie wrote the book "How to Win Friends & Influence People."  I'm not a big fan of self-help books but this one's a gem.  Self-help books often teach ways that people are asked to "try" to be better - ways they aren't capable of following due to inherent personal flaws.  For me, "do" is a much better word than "try" - "try" suggests that failure's a likely outcome.

I've read, and listened to, Carnegie's book about ten times. It's crazy good and helpful.  I've found myself thinking on and "doing" his suggestions throughout my life with good result.

One of my favorite characters in the book is Teddy Roosevelt.  He knew each of the White House servants by name. The night before a person visited the White House would find him reading about what was most interesting to the visitor.  If the boy was interested in sailboats then he read about sailboats.  Those people loved him back and Teddy grew and grew to become...  

The only church in town would be characterized by love.  A growing love within the umbrella of the Spirit of Christ.  Congregates, within this Body of Christ, would increasingly listen and love as they "do" or work out the reality of their lives as individuals and together too within community - actually interested in, listening to, and caring for each other..

Just for today...

"My best efforts to be noticed, listened to, appreciated, and loved were failing. . . As I focused my actions on a loving principle, my character defect of craving attention from people who couldn't give it was removed."  Hope for Today (p. 108)

"If the group's plans seem designed to benefit the greatest number of people, I can usually support them.  I don't mean that I ignore my own needs and feelings - I express them.  But others have needs too, and I must respect them."  Courage for Today (p. 108)

April 16th - Love Yourself Already- "It's the power of ..."

The story...

It was later in my life when I first heard a respected person say that I needed to love myself before I could fully love others.  The same message was likely dispatched to me at an earlier age but I clearly didn't receive it.  I know I heard the second greatest commandment: "... love your neighbor as yourself."  This is a core tenant of Judeo-Christianity; so, why was this so hard to first comprehend?

I knew that loving others was a virtue but loving "me" sounded like a selfish or proud man's bane.  And, I knew that I was flawed in ways that we surely want to keep to ourselves if we expect to be accepted by others.

Yes, I accepted that I'm fully loved by God and can love me too.  Quiet meditation after my "normal" prayers, with my thinker in the back seat, is a time where actually being loved can be realized.

People will find true freedom within the only church in town.  They'll grow to love themselves and their neighbors too.  Scripture says we're made in the image of God and that God loves us so much that His Son redeems the full sin burden for those who are His.   With our sins covered by the blood of Christ, we're empowered to walk humbly and vicariously with God - loved.  Might that be part of the good life that continues on into eternity?

I ain't never going back to that old, commiserating, crappy, selfish life where people wallow in their sin, polish their medals, compare themselves to others, and "try" to please those who couldn't care less.  I will to keep my eyes less on me and more on others.  I want to be in tune with what's really going on and experience being loved and loving too.

Just for today...

"I always expected my happiness to come through others, especially my . . .  parents.  I spent most of my life waiting for them to show their love and approval in a way that I could understand.  They didn't, and I felt deprived and unlovable as a result. . . The only person wo can love me the way I want to be loved is me."   Courage to Change (p. 107)

April 15th - Tax Day

The story...

The Holland State Park improvement plan was approved in 2010.  It happened whether we liked it or not.  I liked the park the way it was; yet, I like it better now.

One of the changes was the removal of a large number of cotton wood trees in the old parking lot.  I met a woman, while visiting the park, that expressed great anguish and anger over the thought of these trees being cut down.  She claimed that she was working diligently to stop this horrible change from happening.  She seemed physically drained by the dread of the impending change - it happened anyway.

I'm so thankful that I respected leadership's decision and their plan.  I didn't comment much about their decisions and weathered the disruptive steps of the improvement process.  There was much unexpected goodness in those changes - for me and others too.

Politicians who implement their vision for the future, sold during the campaign, are alright with me.  Certainly, they need to work with, and through, others to bring ideas into fruition.  Then we, the represented, can evaluate the results - good, marginal, or bad.   Then, in an iterative way, we build better government and communities too.

Many people complain about paying their taxes - not me.  I stand thankful for my freedom, safety, justice, property rights, care for the poor, shared facilities, parks, road system, public transportation, and all those who serve our communities.

The only church in town would treat their community leaders with respect.  (NASB, Romans 13:1-7)

Just for today...

"All bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and slander must be removed from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you."(NASB, Ephesians 4:31-32)

April 14th - Stinking Thinking

The story...

When things were going bad at work, I'd here myself saying "I'm going to quit..."  I even replayed that same mental tape after I'd left that company and moved on.  Stinking thinking seems to be recorded on a set of virtual tapes that I'm able to replay unconsciously.  Sounds like I am, or was, a victim of "stinking thinking."

Proverbs 23:7 says "as a man thinks, so he is."  I expect that most of us would agree with this verse yet some may feel they're victims to their past, limitations, other people, and life circumstances.  They're left with no choice - they've lost their opportunity for happiness.  How can they think differently about their same reality?

If you aren't satisfied with your thinking, you might research Joni Eareckson Tada's life reality, read about Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret, or listen to what Thomas Merton experienced in  "No Man is an Island."  Yet, scripture says that we must be redeemed or renewed - true freedom from "self" and self's "stinking thinking."

Haven't read - title seems "right on."

The only church in town will point all to the Christ and the gospel truth about Who He is, what He's provided for each of us, and How we can be redeemed - brought close to Him (NASB, 1 Corinthians 15: 1-11). 

Just for today...

"When 'stinking thinking' takes hold of me, I must do more than just dismiss the negative thoughts. . . Today I'm going to pay close attention to what I tell myself.  If necessary, I'll stop in mid-thought, start over, and replace negative illusions with positive truths."  Courage to Change (p. 105) 

April 13th - Renewal

The story...

The epic human story is about creation, curse, toil, patience, love, mercy, grace, warnings, repentance, relenting, judgment, and renewal.   Retelling the story must include the Author and Creator - "That than Which There is No Greater."  It seems that the question of the fairness of reality must be paired with the question as to whether God's thoughts can be our thoughts - they can't.

The Old Testament and New Testament speak of renewal.  The renewal of all things.  There will be an all knowing, loving, ruler who will administer perfect justice.  All people offered the safe and blessed hope of renewal.

Spring is a time that shouts renewal.  The annual growth plan awaits the earth's tilt on it's axis so that the sun shines more on our hemisphere - warms us up.  New life and beauty will surely "pop"- renewal!

The only church in town will have parts of the Easter renewal message preached frequently.   All men will hear about our renewal in Christ - freedom from the bondage of self rule and condemnation.  Then they might walk peacefully and joyfully among the tulips - no need to tip toe.  Even the inevitable sufferings of life will bring them closer to their Savior and Redeemer.  Praise God for springtime and renewal.

Just for today...

"Whether I accept or turn down a request, agree or disagree with someone's point of view, I can still treat the other person with respect and courtesy.  I can say, 'No,' as gently an lovingly as I can say, 'Yes'."  Courage to Change (p. 104)

"I always acted on my anxiety, and I was forever reacting.  Most times my reactions came in the form of blaming, running, or freezing.  When I blamed others, I didn't have to feel my deep sense of shame."  Hope for Today (p. 104)

"Keep in mind that we can live only in the present and that all the rest of life is either past or uncertain." One Day at a Time (p. 104)

April 12th - Enduring Change Takes Time - Be Patient

The story...

My life trajectory's improved significantly in recent years.  The changes came slowly and were worked out alongside other pilgrims.  Those who walked with me seemed more honest with themselves, more okay as they were, and less guarded.

It surprised me that meaningful change took months, rather than weeks, to become more habitual and part of my character.  For example, I learned that I often thought obsessively over problems, issues, and even new ideas.  Obsessive thinking restrained me from engaging in, and enjoying, the present - the "now" where life's actually lived.  Once I witnessed a better way, I assumed that I could change my behavior within 40 days at most - I've often heard it takes 40 days to establish a habit.  It actually took me about six months to actually be different.  I can still be triggered to start up a cycle of obsessive thinking; yet, I often, resolve it within the first 10 min. and return to living in the present.

I hope that the only church in town would accept people just as they are with grace and mercy.  The community would allow others to safely grow at their own pace.  Yes, real growth seems to take longer than expected and requires patience.  Over time, the Spirit of God will begin to bear fruit through their lives.  Some of their old defensive armor, needed to defend themselves, will be exchanged for the far better armor of God.

Just for today...

"You cannot create a statue by smashing the marble with a hammer, and you cannot by force of arms release the spirit or soul of man."  Confucius (551–479 BCE)

"Despair - how many of us suffer from it!  Yet we do not realize that it is purely the absence of faith." One Day at a Time (p. 103)

April 11th - Deference

The story...

I heard a speaker make the claim that being a servant means doing everything your master says - to voluntarily choose to serve another.  They suggested that this is part of what it means to be a servant leader.  Hmm...

I gave this idea a try, a test of sorts, last weekend by accepting and enjoying all of the plans that a friend had for Saturday evening.  They chose where, when, and what we did.  It felt good not even considering the interjection of my opinion on anything we did or discussed.  The experiment set a different "tone" for the relationship - everyone seemed to be enjoying this new "way."  I think that the best word for describing my change in attitude would be deference - humble submission and respect.  It felt real good and right.

How do people expect the only church in town to be different from other community gatherings?  They will likely know the story of our Lord Jesus the Christ washing His disciples feet.  "So if I, the Lord and the Teacher, washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet." (NASB, John 13:14) 

(Tintoretto, 1548)

Loving our neighbor as ourselves does seem to be a wonderful, yet gifted, quality of the good life - an essential ingredient for us and our community too.  For God so loved the world that he gave His...

Just for today...

"I retain the right to have problems, to cry, to make mistakes, to not know all the answers. . . I don't have to be in charge."  Courage to Change (p. 102)

April 10th - Let 'em be and grow

The story...

My daughter was about one-year old.  She's standing beneath our kitchen table and just hit her head as she stood up.  She cried and seemed to be communicating "save me."  We didn't know much about parenting skills but we did learn that we should let'em do it by themselves when they could.  She cried and hit her head again - more tears.  "This hurts, should we save her?"  Together, we waited and resisted the urge to interfere.  She crawled out from under the table and was nurtured by mom.  We all learned stuff that day.

When do our good intentions interfere with the other person's growth?  We don't know what's best for another person or what the will of God is for their lives - why act as though we do?  Likely, we're interfering when they could, safely, do it on their own.  It does seem rational to continually relax the boundaries as teenagers become adults. 

In the only church in town, I'd hope that teenagers would become fully functioning independent adults working out their own personal relationship with God alongside others.  Ideally, they'd advance from independence to a sense of interdependence among community.  

Just for today...

"Other people's expectations are not my responsibility unless I have helped to create them.  I can remind myself that conflict is part of life."  Courage to Change (p. 101)

"It is far easier to be honest with other people than with myself.  All of us are hampered to some degree by our need to justify our actions and words."  One Day at a Time (p. 101)

April 9th: Embarrassed and Guarded

The story...

We were enjoying a vacation in the Florida Keys - seated at a table about twenty feet in front of the mic.  It's a comedy club and the "comedian" was taking "stinging" jabs at targeted people in the crowd.  I leaned over to my best friend and said "I can't believe that I'm a fully-capable adult yet I don't feel safe enough to get up from this chair and walk to that men's room."  What did I fear?   This was far away from home and I'd likely never see any of these people again.  The guy was clearly acting out his role as the comedian.  What messages did I fear he might send?  

The vacation scene

I could offer you a long list of personal messages that I don't want to hear.  And, I suppose there're many more "funny" critiques that might embarrass me.  Yet, the degree that I might be embarrassed seems to negatively correlate with the degree that I fell okay about myself - my condition.  For me, my condition is best when I am bearing fruit, e.g.: actually being kind, consistently praying/meditating, and walking humbly/honestly with God in Christ.   However, even in my best condition, as a fellow human, I can be hurt by others.  Some of my sharpest stings are self critiques.  Therefore, I find myself relying on my old armor for protection - that guardedness that keeps us more distant, yet protected, from others. 

How might the only church in town be more of a "No Armor Needed" zone?  I've witnessed armor-free zones within community; so, I hope that most people would find small groups where they felt more accepted and loved just as they are.  The full-church community will be significantly safer than my comedy club experience; yet regretfully, I expect that people will still need some type of armor just to get along - we're all works in progress.

Just for today...

"I take into account how affected I am by my past when I meet people who seem difficult, and I try to give them a break." Hope for Today (p. 100)

"The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them."  Courage to Change (p. 100)

"Painful experiences come from the thorns that wound us; they make us forget they also have roses." One Day at a Time (p. 100)

April 8th - Rule of Thumb - Go Left

The story...

When guessing the path that another person took, Jack Reacher always chose to turn left - counter clockwise.  Why?  Most people are right handed.  Yet most left-handed and right-handed are right-footed.  With no other information available, the average person will kick out their right leg and begin to turn counter clockwise.  This is a "Reacher" rule-of-thumb, heuristic, for decision making.

If you're following me, you'd soon find that I'm a predictable person who likes to follow comfortable patterns.  Thankfully, I'm also a curious sort who's willing to try on new ideas and ways of looking at things.  Yes, I'm what some would call a "life long learner." 

Some things are "too good" to be true so we may either accept it blindly or reject the dish without a taste.  Like the following situation from the Seinfeld series:

When Newman finds out that the no-fat yogurt store is shut down because the delectable yogurt truly has fat - he blames the people who exposed the façade.  He directs anger towards those who knocked down his "house of cards."

The only church in town's standard would be truths that God's revealed.  These truths often run contrary with our desire to satisfy ourselves by eating as much no-fat yogurt as we want.  We may choose to surround ourselves with those who also "buy in" to the no-fat yogurt ruse - everybody's okay as long as the ruse remains unexposed.  God's Word shines the light of truth on our thinking and behavior to expose and condemn the self-absorbed life condition for what it truly is.   It seems we can only find real satisfaction by doing justice, loving kindness, and walking humbly with our God in Christ (Micah 6:8).

Is today a good day to see what condition your condition is in? 

Just for today...

"There can be great value in examining the past. It can offer information about the present, as well as clues that might help us make changes for a better future. . . Still, it is important to remember that the past is over.  We are powerless over what has gone before."  Courage to Change (p. 99)

"Sometimes I would rather deny that a decision needs to be made than to tolerate the discomfort that comes with participating in the decision-making processes. . . I grew up seeing the extremes of decision-making - dominance and lack of participation."  Hope for Today (p. 99)

April 7th - I've met the enemy

 The story...

A friend of mine shared regrets for how he's behaved in certain group situations.  He wills to behave differently; yet, repeatedly returns to his frustrating patterns.  He believes the behaviors are triggered by something inside him.  Trying to behave differently doesn't seem to work.  Then he often reasonably concludes: "It's just the way I'm wired."  

Are we inherently selfish?  Some counter that we're instinctively cooperative.  Are our responses shaped by our genes, environment or related experiences? 

I do know that my nature, and related behaviors, are different when I'm walking humbly with God in Christ.  When I drift towards an unfruitful search for "self" satisfaction then I agree with Mick Jagger: "I can't get no satisfaction."

I hope that the only church in town would be filled with more realistic people who view and accept themselves and others as they are: honest about themselves; thankful for what they have; walking humbly with God...   People may think that they oughta be a more satisfied version of themselves - one that they feel a need to act out and claim to be true. 

In a more realistic view of life, I might acknowledge the truth that I don't want to invite people to church community when my focus is on me.  If I put my trust in God, might I open up the opportunity for God to invite people to church through me? 

Just for today...

"I am the sum total of all that has gone before, both painful and pleasurable, so everything I've experienced has value . . . Certain events had to occur before  changes could be made . . .  If situations had gone my way, I would not be enjoying the things that bring me pleasure today."  Hope for Today (p. 98)

April 6th - The Rifleman

The story...

I knew a guy, from my dorm floor in college, who I coined the nickname: "The Rifleman."  The nickname stuck and we became pretty-good friends.  We both received hand-held Coleco football games for Christmas.

We began a friendly competition of scoring the most points on the skill-level 1 setting.  I'd set the record and he'd break it the next day.  Other people knew about our "game" and would mention the Rifleman's new high score while passing me on campus - "No way!"  I found that vibrating the eraser-end of a pencil was a good way to speed the red blip across the screen.  He copied me and even improved my method. I tried a variety of pencil erasers to get the best "action."  Inevitably, he'd break each of my records.  My behavior degraded to the point that I found myself in my dorm room, in the middle of a school day, sweating as I attempted to get that more perfect game and attain yet another high score.  That day, a good friend of mine barged into my room.  She was met by my anxious call to "don't bother me now, I've got a good one going!"   They said loudly and directly, "look what you're turning into, do you really want to live like this?"  To my surprise, I was able to see my behavior, in the light of day, and was a bit disgusted with how far I drifted off course - this was the end of my battle with the Rifleman.

How will people in the only church in town know if they're running quickly, maybe recklessly, in the wrong direction?  I'd hope that a leader, or good friend, would recognize that their behavior's outside the will of God and communicate the message in a manner that might be received - shine light on the truth.  For me, it seems that I need to be confronted directly - others may need a more subtle and sensitive approach.

Just for today...

"I used humor as a manipulative tool to get people to like me.  My witty comments were carefully timed.  My sense of humor wasn't spontaneous or appropriate.  I used it to please people.  When no one was around to please, however, I was miserable and self-loathing."  Hope for Today (p. 97)

April 5th - Do we really need a rule?

The story...

Maybe it's because I grew up in a small town where parking was free and plentiful - I resent parking permits and meters.  I freed my bike from the campus lock with bolt cutters; I pled my ticket case in front of the campus security board; and I found a way to not pay my parking tickets before I graduated.  Instead, I wrote a check for same amount owed to the "Alumni Fund" and mailed it to Campus Security - "You're never going to get the money for those tickets!"  My dad was shocked when he saw my name listed as one of the larger Alumni donors for the year.  

I've lived too much of my life rebelling against systems that didn't work best for me or seemed unfair.  Like many, I likely grew up self focused and less concerned about other people or the community at large.  It seems I wasn't interested much in the macro picture of life and worked to sub-optimize my own micro situation - the world of me, myself and I.

I must've valued the availability of a close and safe parking space when I needed it.  It's logical that parking lots can't be designed to hold the greatest number of cars that may want to park there.  And, I didn't want to pave paradise and put up a parking lot.  So, we do need to obey rules that best serve our community?  

Now, I'm so thankful for community leaders who actually work their vision of the future into fruition.  And, I'm pleased to pay my taxes and have less consternation about paying parking fees too.  Rather than merely enforcing the rules against my will, I expect that it might have been better to teach the younger me about the value of community and the need for the rules that help sustain it.

The only church in town needs rules too.  If they've white carpet then those entering must take off their shoes.  Rules may also be required to protect the "essentials" that're necessary to sustain and grow us.

Just for today...

"When I feel stressed, I'll stop to check whether my basic needs are being met." Hope for Today (p. 96)

April 4th: Paddle forward

The story...

I woke before my traveling partner on Cherokee Lake in the BWCA.  It took a lot of work to paddle and portage in the day before - I actually carried our canoe over the Continental Divide.  It was way worth it - beautiful and serene.  We were the only group camped on the secluded lake that day.  We actually trolled for, caught, and ate lake trout the night before.  It was a crisp sunny morning on the island - you know I was actually cold.  Yet, my morning hour was one of the best parts of this canoe-only accessed wilderness. 

Someone told me how surprised they were of what they saw and learned by focusing on one square yard of earth for one-half hour.  I invested the time, on this rocky island and was surprised and thankful for what I witnessed.  There's a lot going on around us that we aren't aware of.   I actually saw a bug die, disassembled by ants, and pulled down a hole into the earth.  The close observation seemed to fill in missing pieces of the bigger view of Cherokee Lake - what's really going on.

Take a paddle from the island we camped on.

Life's worked out in the present.  I hope that the only church in town would teach about what God's done, who He is, who we can be in Christ, and the reasons for our hope.  Yet, the group would primarily focus on working out their faith, walking humbly with God, in the present - in actuality.  How about taking another look around already?

Just for today...

"Today I'll be keenly aware of my senses. I will think about what I am experiencing at this moment. I won't let the beauty of this day slip by unnoticed." Courage to Change  (p. 95)

"A searching and fearless moral inventory helped me see myself in a balanced way. This humble and realistic view of my gifts and shortcomings helped me forgive myself and in turn forgive others..." Hope for Today (p.95)

April 3rd - Power and Momentum

The story...

We moved to a home in the woods - lots of trees.  I worked a desk job so the strenuous physical activity felt good.  The lumberjack cycle includes tree felling, sawing, hauling, splitting, stacking, stump removal, and wood burning.  One of the transferrable skills was wood splitting.  You need to swing the 8-lb maul with momentum to split.  If you miss the mark, or swing with less than 100%, then ya got ta do it again - fatiguing and slow.  So, I became proficient with the splitting maul.  

We have a county fair site near our home.  One day my family and a few friends were strolling through the fair midway.  There they were!

One swing and I rang the bell. The strike felt natural, rather easy, and the sound of the bell ringing gave me a feeling of joy.  Oh, the sound of cheers from those I love.

Similarly, I hope that feelings of joy would occur frequently within the only church in town.  The cheers would be a witness to the power of God worked out through His people - the power of a new nature worked out in actualities.

Just for today...

"Who I am, not what I do, makes me worthwhile."  Hope for Today (p. 94)

April 2nd - What's going on?

The story...

It's the summer of 1977 and I'm working on a sled gang for the Burlington Northern railroad - summer job.  Sled gangs replaced old railroad ties with new ties that're covered with thick-black creosote.  The car pooling drive was long, the creosote burned my skin, the work was fatiguing, I experienced back muscle spasms, and I drank so much water that I used my hard hat as a cup. Yet, it paid over $6/hr.

Most of the job was "high spiking."  There was a machine that ran on the tracks that automatically drove the spikes; but, it didn't always work.  So, young guys like me drove in some of the spikes with a maul.  As you can see in the picture, the spike head is real close to the rail.  If, or when, you hit the rail there is a loud ding.  All the gang hears it and the foreman yells at you.  Why?  Every train car that rides over that flat spot is going to feel that until they replace the rail.  I remember hitting the rail a bit more than most people and the foreman's yell stung.

So, one day I was sitting by myself taking a break.  The dreaded foreman came over and sat down next to me.  He says: "Have you ever drank beer out of a straw?"  I couldn't believe that he was threatening me like that.  Then he followed that line up with: "I've had to learn how to since I broke my jaw when I got hit by the backswing of a maul.  My jaw's wired shut."  So, for weeks I thought that the foreman was snarling at me every time he attempted to talk with me.  In reality, his jaw was wired shut and I mistook his helpful attempts as personal attacks.  My number of rail hits dropped significantly after that welcomed conversation. 

I hope that people within the only church in town will be less guarded.  Hopefully, most of the people would be trusting God more than "self" and be a bit less guarded too.  They'd be capable of taking their eyes off themselves and have a better understanding of what's actually going on.

Just for today...

"As I become less self-centered, I will have stronger defenses against being hurt by slights and injustices. Minor crises will not loom large because I will not allow myself to magnify them out of proportion to their importance."  One Day at a Time (p. 93)

"I think I've developed an understanding of God that I don't fully understand." As We Understood... (p. 227)

April 1st - The Critic

The story...

What's true about that acute or overt criticism that I receive?  A wise person told me that criticism often has an element of truth in it - the wise man values criticism for what he might discover.  The "feedback" may be a truth, or perception, that we aren't aware of or have minimized.  Honest awareness and consideration of faults, or perceptions, can be like the value of a fine pearl.  You must work to open the shell, take it out, assess the value, and then decide what to do with it.

It's likely harder for a person, who has deep-felt emotions, such as shame and guilt, to truly listen.  It's easier to criticize the message sender and discredit the message than honestly considering it's validity.  

I wish I'd never criticized a preacher - especially in front of my children.  Rather, I wish I'd have developed closer relationships with them so that we both might've grown together - even through infrequent constructive criticism.

I expect the only church in town would have preachers and leaders who model wise behavior.  For me, being open to receiving criticism is part of continual growth in both me and my relationships too - pearls. 

Just for today...

"The contented, well adjusted person has no need to look for flaws in others . . . criticism has the effect of pushing love right out of the picture. This in turn, leads us to feeling sorry for ourselves because people do not respond to us as we would like them to."  One Day at a Time (p. 92)