January 11th - Accepted just as I am

The story...

Please read the welcoming statement that I plan to deliver at my mother's memorial service.  The service was scheduled for Saturday, January 13th, at 2:00pm.

"Welcome to this service where we will be honoring and celebrating the life of our mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, and friend.  Each of our relationships with her was different yet she significantly affected us all.  We’ll all have a chance to share our own experiences either within the service or with each other.  For me, a momma’s boy, she showed a loving sort of grace throughout all my comings and goings.  She was the only person, with skin on ‘em, that loved me no matter what.  Even when she didn’t like what I was doing or saying, I could get up close, smile, stare into her pupils, kiss her hand, and spread my arms out wide and she would drop her airs, smile and we were okay together.  I witnessed grace consistently, only from my momma.  I mean no disrespect to any of you who love me - it was just different with my Mother.  With everybody else, it’s been kind of conditional.  And today we’ll be praising God for the grace that was extended to my Momma, by God, through the great work of Christ when He shed his blood for the forgiveness of our sins that once separated us from God.  Her faith rested in God and not in herself - in the last years she prayed frequently for His help to endure a struggle like standing up from a chair.  That’s why I’m wearing this red tie - to remind us of the blood of Christ - the only reason I and you are right with God."

You can find unconditional love within the only church in town - throughout this life and infinity.

"To infinity and beyond!"

Just for today...

"I am accepted just as I am. I never have to pretend, or wear a mask over my feelings . . . In my new family, love is not a point system. I don't have to earn love from others - it's given freely as a gift."  Courage to Change (p. 11)

January 10th - Anchored in the present

The story...

Thankfully, I've learned the value of focusing on, and being more aware of, the present - where life actually occurs.  Our bodies sense what's going on now even though the cause of the sensation is likely rooted in the past.  We can read about God yet our spirit senses His Spirit in the present as He intervenes or as His Spirit interacts with our spirit as we quietly kneel.  We've reasons to expect what will happen in the future yet each new day's unknown.  How many days have we ended the day thinking  "I never would have expected that?"  Yes, we'll all experience, and recall, each day together in different ways.  Oh... to be more in synch with others, listening, to grow our understanding of "what's going on?"

Today, I will be writing what I plan to say at my Momma's memorial service scheduled for Saturday afternoon. Almost all of my parent's descendants will be attending the memorial service.  All those congregating will be focused in on the past when we hear, and remember, some of who she was to each other.  Everyone will have lost a relationship - a chunk of who we are and a partial cause of who we'll be.  Yes the "we" is valuable and so much more perceptive than the limited "me." 

I plan on speaking from my heart, displaying the love that I have for my momma, each and every family member, and for "That Than Which there is No Greater," our God, our Creator, our Savior.  I hope that we'll leave the memorial service with a better understanding how "she" reflects the wonderfully different people within the "we" that makes up her family.

When you walk through the doors of the only church in town, you'll have the opportunity to leave the distractions of the world, your community, your home, and the cares of the world outside.  There'll be opportunities to focus on the present - the spiritual reality that's true in the present and will exist throughout all eternity.  The congregation will be a wonderful "we" who share a common faith in a common Creator. Lord, and Savior.

Maybe there's a way to integrate "we" into a favorite motto for my living a good life?   "Live for today, plan for tomorrow and think on eternity."

Just for today...

"To break the cycle of worry and fear, I'm learning to focus all my attention on this very moment . . . These bits of reality help rescue me from "what ifs" and "should haves" by anchoring me in the present."  Courage to Change (p. 10)

January 9th - Am I able to let others, within my circle of concern, be?

The story...

If I could go back in time, how would I intervene with the younger version of me in order to avoid some of the trouble and brokenness that came my way in life?  I'm not sure if the advice of a meddlesome future me would've been wanted by me.  I might of told him to mind his own business and leave me alone to work out my own life.  If I'm not sure that I would want to "try" to change me, then why have I tried to fix, manage, and control other people within my own life?

If I could turn back time

Do I need all the people within my circle of concern to feel, and be, okay in order for me to be okay?  If so, I'll never be okay.  Am I responsible for the aims and choices of those people within my circle of concern?  Certainly not!  Is my need to share my life experiences a misplaced onus for desiring to control their lives so that I can feel better about me and my life?  Maybe...  

It would be great if the only church in town was your "ideal" church - it won't be.   Just go already and begin walking your life journey with other pilgrims - a better future, beyond your imagination, awaits.

Just for today...

"Once I was able to see my suffering as my own reaction to others, I could begin to identify my contribution to the problem. Sometimes my part is bringing up something that was better left unsaid, or starting a serious conversation at an inappropriate time. Other times my part is harboring unrealistic expectations. When I see my part in the pattern, I can choose a response other than suffering. There is no need for me to suffer because of the behavior of others."  Hope for Today (p. 9) 

"It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery."  Galatians 5:1 (NASB)

"But when the applause of others becomes the reason for my behavior and necessary for me to feel satisfied, then I have given them power over me."  Courage to Change (p. 9)

January 8th - Being quiet with God - the good place to be.

The story...

Oh... to be rightly related with God, enjoying who He is and expectantly listening for His direction through creation, other people, His revealed Word, fruit born through us, and through the Spirit of Christ too.  That's a good place to be.  I plan on being quiet today with open ears and an open heart.

The only church in town will share the reality of God, our Creator, and the extraordinary life pilgrimage and hope that we can enjoy in Christ.  We can leave the cares of the world aside, abide in Christ, and bear His fruit until we breathe that last breath (John 15:4).

Just for today...

"During my daily quiet time, I try to focus all my attention on God. When I take my problems to Him, I try to leave them there and keep my focus of attention on Him."  As We Understood (p. 196)

January 7th - Detaching from what others say - be

The story...

My mother didn't like the way my beard looked - for many years, I grew a beard during the fall and shaved it on my Mother's birthday in the spring.  Often when she saw my beard she'd almost automatically say something like: "You look like some kind of dummy with that on! . . . Why don't you shave that off? . . . You look so good without it, why in the world would you do something like that? . . .  Do you know what you look like?"  She may have delivered the same message in a more polite way like:  "If it's all the same with you, would you put on this "mask" so that you can be the person I imagine you to be?"

We all receive messages about us either directly or indirectly.  These messages can lead us to question or defend our imaginary self-image - the one we internalize and project to others.  In response, we may: deny the message and discredit the sender, seek out another who'll offer the praise that our "self" desires, sulk, fight, conform to the image that the "group" has of us, or we might pop our imaginary bubble and start over with a new self-image.

The only church in town will offer a new self image that's based on what, and who, God says we are and what we might be.  Surely, there will be some people who are acting out a "good" role and they might offer us a mask to "try" on so that we might conform to "their" image of what a Christian is.  I hope that we offer the mask givers grace yet trash the mask and act out our faith in reality - just the way we are. 

My mother passed away from this life yesterday and is now with her Savior and Lord. She always loved and hoped the best for me - just the way I was.  I'm so thankful for the many ways she expressed her love to me throughout my first 65 years. I'm praising God for her today and wondering what life will be like without her - I'm an orphan now but not on my own.

Just for today...

"I care enough about myself to take a quiet half hour to relax. But if a half hour is more than I can manage, I can let that be alright. Whatever time I give to myself will be a step forward. If I can stop the wheels from turning for even a few moments, God can take charge and steer me in the right direction."  Courage to Change (p. 7)

"Nothing can hurt me unless I allow it to. When I am pained by anything that happens outside of myself, it is not that thing which hurts me, but the way I think and feel about it . . . 'God teach me to detach my mind form what others say and do, except to draw helpful lessons and guidance from them.'"  One Day at a Time (p. 7)

January 6th - Who is the object of your faith?

The story...

The "Wizard of Oz" scared the bejeebies out of my as a kid.  Who in their right mind wouldn't react wildly if Dorthy's situation was an actuality?  Glinda, the good witch, doesn't seem to offer much consolation - seeing the situation today still triggers a version of that same reaction. Yeow!

Sure, she has a good reason to be alarmed.  The bad witch has expressed disdain and vile intent for what Dorothy's house did by falling on her sister.  The threat, to both her and her little dog too, appeared valid.  She would've been a fool to ignore the threat and the good witch's protection seemed well intentioned yet with limited protective power.  She had to begin, step by step, down the yellow brick road trusting the good witch's advise.  Thank goodness she found three friends along the road to share her journey.  Yet, their recommendation to trust, and seek out, the great Wizard of Oz was misplaced hope.

The only church in town will offer the Word of God's direction for developing a right relationship with God in Christ.  They'll share the path to begin on with friendship opportunities to walk with too.  Our Creator is sovereign and those who are His, in Christ, are within His protective power.  He will walk with us through life and bring us home with Him at the end of the path.

Just for today...

"...many of my difficulties were created by me, by my own reactions to the happenings in my daily life."  One Day at a Time (p. 6)

January 5th - Close Friendships are Worthy - "muchness"

The story...

I've planned to meet a friend today in a coffee shop that bakes wonderfully large and tasty cookies.  The refillable-ceramic coffee mugs, throngs of people huddled closely together in conversation, and the big cookie, all feel like "muchness" to me.  "Muchness" is a British romantic word meaning greatness in quantity and degree - it's a really good word to me.

My friend will update me on the reality of his life and I'll have the opportunity to do the same.  I don't need to plan what I'm going to say - our relationship is big enough that we've many ways to build on it.  It sure helps to have a listening ear that seeks to understand both my message and me better - our past interactions have led me to believe that he truly has my best interest at heart.  When I tell a story that doesn't seemed to be aligned with who he knows me to be - he'll challenge me in a kind sort of way.  This close relationship thing is real good.  I'm not so naive to think that he's fully engaged in all my stories yet I know he wants to be.  We grow together as we share our stories - that's real good, and I value him and our relationship, greatly.

Clare Ansberry makes reasonable claims about the amount of time it takes to develop a close friendship within her 1/02/24, Wall Street Journal, article: "It Takes at Least 200 Hours to Make a Close Friendship, and More to Maintain It."  My personal experience suggests that her claims have face validity. 

The only church in town will offer opportunities to discover people who are similar enough to you that you might take the risk, and invest the 200+ hours, to develop a close friendship.  Expect the process to take years rather than weeks.  These relationship endeavors are worthy.  C.S. Lewis said in his book "The Four Loves:"  "Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”   For me, close friends are a key part of the good life - the muchness.

Just for today...

"Am I trying to interfere with the natural consequences of a loved one's choices?  Am I trying to do for someone what they could do for themselves?"  Courage to Change (p. 5)

"Unless I am at peace with the child of God I am, I cannot love and help my neighbor. Regrets are vain. They can interfere with the good I could do today, the making of the better person."  One Day at a Time (p. 5)

January 4th - My thinking propels me towards...

The story...

In 1983, I wanted a 1976, Volvo 240.  I researched, stared at the photos, imagined what it would be like to own one, and was convinced that it was the best possible car I could afford.  I sought it out and found it for sale from an ex-U of M football player.  I even ignored the guys wife asking: "do you like to work on cars?" The only part of the car that was good was my admiring how good my wife looked driving it home - that first day.

Where does my thinker want to send me?  My self-absorbed nature wants to take me towards comfort, praise, security, affirming group-think, competition, awards, legacy, pleasure, and admiration as I gaze into the mirror.  My spirit desires a loving and right relationship with my Creator, the giving and receiving of love from others, honest and open relationships with close friends, continuing growth within my community, and the fruit of the indwelling Spirit of God being born without my trying to produce them.  The different types of fruit from the Spirit may be found in Galatians 5:22-24.

A wise man knows where to go and how to get there.  First, he's gotta know where he is and what state is most desirable.  That means he's got to know what condition his condition is in.  He knows that he doesn't know what he doesn't know so he seeks the truth.  How will I know if and when my thinking patterns are aiming and propelling me to a destination where I don't wanna go?

The only church in town will introduce people to the Word of God and how they might develop a saving, active, and eternal loving relationship with their Creator, their Sustainer, in Christ.  God's Spirit will produce fruit within the lives of those who are His - the evidence of the "good life" that you may be unaware of, seeking or enjoying.  Why not come to God's table, enjoy the good stuff, and share it with others?  I hope that you don't try to satisfy yourself by merely hoping for it, reading about it, trying to do it on your own, or admiring it worked out within other people's lives.

Just for today...

"My own way of thinking deceives me. I can see but a little way."  One Day at a Time (p. 4)

"When I admit that my life is unmanageable, I don't admit that I am a bad person. In my attempts to maintain the delusion of exercising power where I am powerless, my life has become disorderly."  Hope for Today (p. 4)

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,"  Galatians 5:22-24 (NASB)

January 3rd - Cycles of continual improvement - growth

The story...

The nation of Israel's history can be characterized as continuing cycles of restoration to a right relationship with God, drifting away, realizing the lost and pain of separation, and reconciliation.  I've heard it said that this might be a good picture of a strengthening, growing, and lasting marriage too.  People's self-focused natures tend to pull them apart yet the marriage commitment can be strong enough to restore the relationship - over and over again.  Each restorative cycle can grow both marriage partners within their commitment to each other and to each of their relationships with God too.

I'm so thankful for my marriage partner and the personal growth that we've experienced both together and as individuals too.  Similarly, this kind of growth can happen within the only church in town -continual cycles of pain, love experienced, and restoration.  Yes, suffering, pain and brokenness often seem to be precursors and necessary ingredients for real and sustainable change cycles over time - growth.  

Just for today...

"I can do nothing to change the past except stop repeating it in the present . . . Taking some tiny action each day cam be much more effective than weeks and months of inactivity followed by a frenzied attempt to make radical changes overnight."  Courage to Change (p. 3)

"Each minute, each hour, each day, I smile a little more, let go of yesterday a little more, and live in today a little more."  Hope for Today (p. 3)

January 2nd - Clarified expectations by God's intervention

The story...

In 1980, I expected to: begin a career as a sales engineer selling industrial robots; marry within a couple years; invest my growing capital in corporations for continual wealth growth; buy a house; drive a convertible; experience adventurous vacations; have four kids; and continue to live out a rebellious sort of ideals - to be free.  In 1981, reality went differently than I expected.  It was as though God pulled, yanked is a more descriptive word, me in His direction.  What do I believe to be the key points of my life when I believe that God directly intervened?

Here's my take on the key related factual events, listed chronologically by my age:

8.  Walked to front of neighborhood evangelistic meeting and accepted Jesus the Christ as my Savior.

15. Lost and alone in a canoe in the Boundary Waters, MN - in the dark.  I promised to dedicate my life to God if He saved me from my predicament - I saw the light of the campfire less than one minute after making my commitment to Him.

16. Worked every other Sunday and drifted away from attending church services.

18. Fully engaged in a self-absorbed college life and stopped attending church.

22. After a period of brokenness, I read the four gospels and was surprised to learn God's story in Christ - new good news to me. Miraculous auto accident avoidance and three incredibly unlikely personal interactions with those who I now believe to have been directed by the Spirit of God.  Steve and Marlene invite me to church.

23. I move to Knoxville, TN and people directly intervene in my life.  They seem to have been led by Spirit of God.  They lead me to study and believe the Word of God - "be" differently.

26. Dejected by the seemingly unbearable "religious'" expectations demanded of me for living a "Christian" life.  Bill Job explains the grace of God - God works out all that is good and that I was identified with Christ and right with God solely by what Christ did for me.  Our work was to believe both the gospel and His revealed Word.

28. We attend a dispensational church that more correctly interpreted God's provisions for us gentiles -  Pauline theology.  We were fully engaged in bible study and the church.

40. Kid(s) resent being told how to be good by following religious practices and principles.  They expose the difference between what we said and did - they also wanted to be free of religion.  A hyper-grace like message seemed to allow the freedom for us to walk our own "sinful" path while under the protective umbrella of the grace of God.  My prayer life might've revealed the problem.

60. Brokenness again leads me to more honestly assess my life and faith walk.  I develop more honest and close relationships while working out my faith in the Light.  I disengaged from those trying to "run" the church and gave up "trying" to be good.  I gave up attempts to fix, manage, and control other people according to what I thought was best.  Trusted by placing my hopes for me and others in the "hands of God."  My life actually began to "bear" fruit that both I, maybe others too, enjoyed.  

The only church in town will lead you to God through His Word.  They'll direct you to that right relationship with God that can be yours by believing the Gospel truth of what God's already done for you in Christ.  Our work is to believe (John 6:29).

Just for today...

"... it is our expectations, not our loved ones, that have let us down . . . learn to treat our needs as important and appropriate, and to treat ourselves as deserving . . . if we stop insisting that our needs be met according to our will, we might discover that all the love and support we need is already at our fingertips."   Courage to Change (p. 2)

"I will not fall in with . . . craving for punishment to relieve his or her guilt. I will not scold and weep, for it will not overcome the difficulties that we are trapped in . . . I pray that I may stop and think before I do or say anything whatever."  One Day at a Time (p. 2)

"'Look back without staring.' As long as I kept staring at my past without experiencing my feelings about it, I stayed mired in fear, resentment, and self-pity . . . Only after I stopped long enough to feel my anguish, bitterness, and emptiness could I let them go and move ahead."   Hope for Today (p. 2)

January 1st - Journey to Better Times

The story...

I've made a new years resolution that signals hope for more and better fruit to be born from my life and from those within my circle of concern too.  The resolution is doable, builds on truth validated within my earlier years, and is likely to build personal character traits that'll better support change opportunities in 2024.  I'm in a good place on the morn of this first day of ...

You gotta leave this to go for that.  "This" is normal even if it ain't comfortable.  "That" is like "two birds in a bush" - we may want to hang onto "this" in our hand.  For me, it's been easier to change after I've had the opportunity to verbally appraise the current situation with a friend.  Maybe this kind of life assessment happens for many on the last day of December prompting new-years resolutions on January 1st.  A quick internet search estimates that <10% of Americans follow thorough on their new-years resolutions.  Given my resolution choice, I expect an 80% probability of success.  Why not?

For me, my resolution will help me grow my personal character, relationships and faith.  And, the "doing" of my resolution should result in my holding "things" and the "cares of this world" more loosely.  How about your change resolution?

The only church in town will "generally" be a God's Word knowing, faithful, honest, helping, and loving group of people.  Our idealistic picture of what that one church might be will be wrong.  Why?  We'll find the wide range of personalities, capabilities, knowledge, coping mechanisms, life stories, shame, guilt, pride, and fruit-bearing capabilities there.   The relationships that you might find there are part of the good stuff in life where real personal and spiritual growth might be cultivated.  I hope that you make a resolution to become more involved within your church community, while expecting little, and being thankful for what you do receive.  Please accept my happy new-years wishes.

Just for today...

"We all have dark times in our lives, but the journey to better times is often what makes us happier, stronger people. When we stop expecting instant relief, we may come to believe that where we are today is exactly where God would have us be."  Courage to Change (p. 1)

"They see themselves in me, I see myself in them, and we learn to love and accept each other and ourselves."  Hope for Today (p. 1)

"I have authority over no life but my own."  One Day at a Time (p. 1)

December 31st - Hoping for the best next year - planning to do my part

The story...

The number 24 has been my favorite number for as long as I can remember.  So, I expect that I'll enjoy writing 2024 throughout the year.  The number feels even, comfortable, and strangely helps me feel optimistic about the year.  The Ford Motor Company has planned to build our new Ford Maverick pickup truck during the last week of January and I plan to try Uber driving with it beginning this spring - I'm looking forward to meeting, and serving, all of those people by helping them get to their destinations.  Yes, I'm planning to do my part toward making 2024 a good-to-great year.

My new years resolution is to pray, followed by meditation, for at least ten minutes per day for 100 consecutive days.  Why?  A good friend did something similar, I've the power to make the change happen, and the life change seems to offer only upsides.

Will I track my progress?  Yes, I wish that I didn't need to but experience says that my tracking will help make it happen and result in a sustainable habit of good living.  In reality, my prayer and meditation life drifted to the more normal state; yet, "righter."

The only church in town will share about God's promises for a relationship with Him that trusts only in His provision.  Prayer and quietly listening is part of that relationship.

Happy new year friends!

Just for today...

"The new year which lies before me has no time for futile regrets. I will live one day at a time, making each one better than the last, as I grow in confidence and faith."  One Day at a Time (p. 366)

"Have I thanked that person for all they've given me? Have I recognized my growing ability to love and trust others?"   Courage to Change (p. 366)

December 30th - Might suffering force me to grow in new and important ways?

The story...

My physical limitations forced me to adapt my life to a new reality.  My emotional and mental processes take some time to both grieve the losses, and accept my new condition, before I move on.  I'm already enjoying my new environments, habits, activities, and relationships that're part of my new life.  It seems that I can both retain my memories of the past and enjoy new learnings and blessing from my new reality.  Is it possible that my physical limitations are forcing me to change and grow in new and important ways?  

The only church in town will teach you how Abraham, Gideon, and David died at ripe old ages.  I assume that being ripe means having fully experienced what life had to offer.  I hope to take that life experience trusting God, and fruit born along the way, into eternity.

Just for today...

"The unpleasant things other people say or do have no power to destroy my peace of mind or ruin my day unless I permit it . . . I suspect I may have benefited from my pain. But those benefits are no longer worth the prices . . . There is a beautiful person within me who has no need to build an identity around suffering . . . I won't waste another moment feeling sorry for myself."  Courage to Change (p. 365)

"I don't have to do or fix everything."  Hope for Today (p. 365)

December 29th - Plant your foot solidly and securely

 The story...

My feet had bunions, tight tendons to my toes, and almost no arch.  To make matters more challenging, one of my legs was/is about 1/4" longer.  Some of these limitations, and those partially caused by them, were corrected by surgery.  These changes allowed me to move more stably.

It feels good and right to plant your foot - the rest of your body parts, including the lumbar region of my spine, rely on that firm footing.  My lower back is currently impinging my spinal cord which is sending nerve impulses to my brain which I interpret as negative and painful.  Those "pain" signals trigger unwanted reactions, thoughts, and changes in my behavior.  I wanna be better.

The following article is from the 12/26/23 edition of the Wall Street Journal.  It claims that I might change my perception of some of the nerve signals that originate from my pinched spinal cord.  "The cause is brain sensitization rather than physical injury . . . verbally reappraising the sensations as a false alarm and noting it so that it's not considered threatening or painful."  Yes, I can live a better life by more accurately sensing, perceiving, and acting on reality.  That makes sense to me and seems like right thinking - in response, I'm planning on reappraising my nerve signals. I'll give it a try in reality.

Within the only church in town you'll learn the value of placing your step solidly within God's will. That firmer foundation allows for sustainable growth centered and planted in reality - the seen and the unseen.  I'm not talking about an imaginary world where a group all agrees in a sort of blind hope - It's a about real relationships and better lives worked out together in the Light of God's revealed Word.  It's the place to be - fruit bearing along the way.

Just for today...

"Did I demand to much? Am I being confronted with a natural reprisal for my rigid, uncompromising attitude? . . . If we hurt someone or demanded to much of them, swift retribution may dismay or infuriate us . . . I may feel ever so justified in "taking a stand," but let me consider whether it was something I did that led to the crisis."  One Day at a Time (p. 364)

December 28th - Be okay living in reality

The story...

Oh, if I could've been more  kind to both me and to others too - more content with what I had and appreciative of what I received.  Yet, none of those years were wasted.  They're all part of who I am.  I'm thankful for each and every one - they were a gift.

From Caroline Kennedy

The bible says that He became flesh and lived a life out on this earth within a human experience as the Son of Man.  His human experience is important to both God and to us too.  Might all of our human experiences have eternal value?  I expect so . . .  they're certainly important to me as I type.

How about being a part of the only church in your town already?  What a great place to meet whilst praising and worshiping our Creator together.  Relationships found there help complete us, contribute to the value of each day, and builds towards a worthy aim.

Just for today...

"We intend to be kind and tolerant, but some uncontrollable impulse changes our attitude into something we later find ourselves regretting. We intend to accomplish so much, but unless we start out with a realistic estimate of what we are capable of doing, we fall far short of our expectations."  One Day at a Time (p. 363)

December 27th - Shared stories

The story...

By taking the time to care and listen, I heard what it was like to be flogged as punishment for violating a law by entering a middle-east country with a 3.4 oz. bottle of alcohol.  Men have told me what it's like to worship the sun, Mohammad, Buddha, and their Messiah in many different ways.  People who worship God charismatically have always been interesting to hear out when they felt less guarded and more trusting.  A man shared what it was like to only remember clearly what'd happened about 60 years ago or before.  A 30-year-old woman explained what it was like to be an illegal immigrant from Russia while we recreated on a boat in Texas - they're required to read classic literature in Russian high schools.  A landlord explained what it was like to be free from the obligations of the Lutheran church in Duluth, MN - she had a hard time believing that I chose to go church when no one would know the difference.  A woman shared how it felt to be excommunicated from her church in Tennessee for cutting her hair.  Many older people have described how their more honest assessment of their self and humble worship and trusting in God's provision have brought contentment and peace in situations that were unimaginable to me.  A Buddhist professor explained how he valued the contentment afforded by not perceiving situations as either good or bad.  All of these conversations are precious to me and are part of the width, length and height of my story too.

What a joy to be able to seek to understand another person in conversation.  To be willing to listen to and understand a part of how their life worked out - what they value too.  I especially appreciate listening to people who are significantly different from me.  As I ponder those that I remember, I'm so thankful for each one - I can't imagine giving up what I've learned from other lives.  People's shared experiences and hearts are such a joy to me - truly precious.  It saddens me to hear of people who remain isolated from others and seek to find contentment through a relationship with a pet.

The only church in town will value the variety of lives that makes up their congregation as they worship in a common faith.  I love my church family and appreciate all who came before me, traveled with me, and those who I will interact with in the days I have left.  I wonder how many more breaths I will be given traveling on this spinning orb?

Just for today...

"...no one person's view is totally complete . . . I can be grateful for the chance to see that there are countless ways to looking at life . . . I use to take disagreements personally. One of us had to be wrong, and my position had to be accepted! . . . I don't have to invalidate anyone else's views in order to validate my own . . . Today I will respect someone's right to think differently."  Courage to Change (p. 362)

December 26th - A good life is like a dance - relationships held loosely.

The story...

I went to college during the disco-dance era.  Guys often met girls at parties where young men had the opportunity to ask women to dance.  Like many other guys, I was a reluctant to display my lack of dancing skills amongst my peers - especially the girls who I admired from a distance.  John Travolta showed us how it was done on Saturday Night Fever and the dancing experience was a whole lotta fun.  

After college, I moved to Tennessee where there was a different style of country-western dancing like the 2-step we danced to the Cotton-Eyed Joe.  I was new to Knoxville, so I went to two different churches on Sunday mornings followed by dance lessons at noon.  I wanted to be involved in community and meet my life partner - not knowing how to dance well was a barrier.  I met my life partner there in 1981 - praise God.  She was a practiced dancer who made dancing easy - she made me look and feel good.  She made it look like I was leading although I often didn't know what I was doing or what the next pattern was.

Relationships are much like a ballroom dance where you can hold your partner in various ways.  For me, it was great when I learned to hold her loosely with subtle, yet clear, signals as to where we were moving next.  She silently let me know what she wanted to do and where to go.  When it worked well, we flowed across the floor as a unit - continuous movements that didn't feel anything like work.  The close intimate relationship on the dance floor seemed kind of like a good relationship.

Like on the dance floor, I had a difficult time maintaining close relationships throughout life.  I've learned relationship building and sustaining skills along the way and now greatly value the relationships I have.  There are similarities between a good relationships and the relationship on the dance floor - a metaphor.  Why not learn how to dance, go to places where people dance, and get out there on the dance floor of life?

Strangely, many churches didn't allow dancing amongst boys and girls either within church or outside of church.  They were worried about unwanted close relationship building.  Yet, the only church in town will encourage relationship building.  God with me, me with Him, me with them, them with me, me with him/her, and her/him with me.  It seems wise to hold them loosely and work out the most important relationship with God first.  Learn about Him, learn the dance, dance life with Him, dance with friends while holding them loosely, and enjoy the community at the dance party too.   A dance party isn't a solemn place - you'll find happiness and joy there - a good metaphor for the only church in town? 

Just for today...

"I was a willing participant in a dance that required two partners. I felt like a victim, but in many ways I was a volunteer . . . When I get the old feelings that tells me I am a victim, I can regard it as a red flag, a warning that I may be participating in something that is not in my best interest. I can resist the temptation to blame others and look to my own involvement instead."  Courage to Change (p. 361)

"...it dawned on me how much of my life had been spent wanting for others to change so I could be happy."  Hope for Today (p. 361)

December 25th - Being quiet - replacing what-ifs with even-ifs

 The story...

I'm lifting weights in my basement while listening to an inspiring message from one of my mentor's on YouTube.  I complete my stretching and turn off the TV.  I kneel down on my weight bench in prayer and meditation.  Then, I'm quiet and peaceful for a time, maybe the best part of life, then it's quickly over.  Why?

Being quite in prayer, meditating, is a great place to be - peacefulness.  Why might it be illusive?  I will to be quiet and peaceful following prayer with my heart open to the Spirit of God.  Yet, my mind, often filled with the cares of the world, seems crouched on the sideline, ready to pounce back in and continue running the show.  These are the those thoughts of: having to, wanting to, planning to, worrying about, interested in, and even whimsically entertaining myself - an endless stream of possibilities just waiting to be juggled around and explored.  Might my "what-ifs" be replaced with "even-ifs?"  If our focus shifted from trying to control and worry about what might happen to trusting God "even if" circumstances seem to go awry, might we live in a more peaceful place and make better decisions too?

The only church in town will introduce those assembled to the Word of God and the opportunity to experience fellowship with their God too - wow.  Faith in God means trusting Him, our Creator, to keep His Word.  And, His Word lived out is the very best both for the few years I have left on this earth and for all eternity that awaits.  Yes, it's reasonable and right to replace our "what-ifs" with "even-ifs" when we are right with God in Christ.  Yes, I'm with Him.  That's an infinitely better place to be than merely trying my best, on my own, to control the uncontrollable.  

Merry Christmas - we have a wonderful Savior in Christ!  Praise God!  Spend time with Him.

Just for today...

"Serenity is: . . .  accepting my many characteristics and not judging what's 'bad' or 'good' but what's useful to keep and what to release . . . honoring my feelings without aiming them at someone else or letting them run my life."  Hope for Today (p. 360)

"What message does my silence communicate? Today I will try to align the stillness of my tongue with a stillness of spirit."  Courage to Change (p. 360)

December 24th - Acknowledging reality

 The story...

My desk is a mess.  True, I don't currently have a designated place to put everything and I've more stuff than I need.  Yet, I know that I can organize my desk - I've done it in the past and I've the resources needed to make it happen.  Being organized is better and I've got the time to make it happen.  In fact, I expect that I'll actually enjoy the process once I get started.  So, why don't I get started?  I understand that this introspective quality is uniquely human - and a good focus of conversation with a close friend.  It's so freeing to be grounded closer to reality than our imaginary "world" that we "wish" was true.  Yet, might our best introspective efforts be an illusion?

The only church in town will review the reality that's expressed in the Apostle Paul's book of Ephesians and Philippians - wonderful truths, revelations from God, that you won't discover from self reflection.  Why?  They're revealed by God for the benefit and hope of his creatures - us.

Just for today...

"Focusing on ourselves simply means that when we acknowledge the situation as it actually is, we look at our options instead of looking at the options available to other people. We consider what is within our power to change instead of expecting others to do the changing."  Courage to Change (p. 359)

December 23rd - Purposely act versus react?

The story...

Habits, routines, honest personal reflection, relationship building, kindness, prayer, quiet meditation, showing respect and a propensity for doing versus waiting till "I feel like it" have all worked well for me. This incomplete list is fundamental for building up the unique me.  We all know that we make sense of our lives and the environments we live in with mental models that are incomplete, flawed, and biased, or bent, to reflect what we want to be true.  I hope that we continue to walk toward our life's aim in an honest, humble, thoughtful, and peaceful way.

How do I react to those whose ways, manners, physical characteristics, age, actions, beliefs, experiences, education, aims... are significantly different from me?  In the future, I hope to seek to understand them before I attempt to be "help" them understand me - Steven Covey principle.  This one focus seems to enable a whole lotta of other good stuff.

The only church in town is a great place to meet up with co-sojourners for your life journey.  You can find friends with a common aim, who're on a similar path, that you can relate to, and are in a similar stage along the path.  It's important to work out your reality with  others too - there're many opportunities to love, and be loved by, most of the everybody.  Relationships and love seem to be the good stuff in life.  Good stuff is available within the only church in town - God's presence within the Body of Christ  - yes, it's mysterious.

Just for today...

"I would not want this person as a friend, but I do need to work with him as a professional. I don't like him... However, . . . I treat him with the same courtesy and respect I would like him to give me, regardless of whether or not he gives it.  I let it begin with me and act rather than react."  Hope for Today (p. 358)

December 22nd - Being aware an engaging in the present

The story...

I wonder how much of our thinking life is actually spent thinking about the past (maybe 20%), engaging in the present reality (maybe 50%), or thinking about future realities (maybe 30%)?  Given enough time, I expect that we all would agree that it's best to live in the present where life actually occurs.  If we did so, I expect that our memories would be richer, and our future moments better lived.

A group of friends, and a book, introduced me to the benefits of living more fully in the present where life actually occurs.  They introduced me to the acronym S.T.E.A.M.: Senses, Thoughts, Emotions, Actions, and Mindfulness.  I practiced mindfulness by going through each of the letters when I found myself excessively reliving the past or worrying about future possibilities - I often did this on hiking trails.  First, I checked my five senses.  Second, I examined my current thoughts.  Third, I identified my emotions.  Fourth, I was honest with what I was doing.  Lastly, I enjoyed the peacefulness of rightly living in the present - being mindful.

Yes, I painted this...

The only church in town will introduce you to the spiritual realities that may have previously escaped your detection.  Yes, God communicates and works out life, with His creation, in the present.  So... I added an "S" to the acronym, S.T.E.A.M.S., to stand for my spirit and God's Spirit relating within the unseen spiritual reality.  Yes, there is a spirit/Spirit reality.  Why not pray now, one-on-one with God, and together within the only church in town?

Best definition of wisdom I've ever heard:  "Live for today, plan for tomorrow, and think on eternity."

Just for today...

The Contemplative Life:  "...prayer is available any time, any place. It is undetectable to outside eyes, but it bears a seed of transformation that can bring the most unmanageable situation into perspective."  Courage to Change (p. 357)

"I wondered how I could pray without feeling false . . . my rigidity was a wall that hid my fear . . . Now I am gentler with myself and others.  Acceptance of my self-doubts enabled me to start turning away from the "musts" and "shoulds."  Hope for Today (p. 357)

December 21st - Being kind and honest with you

The story...

Three nights ago I dreamed that I purchased a new cell phone that was too small.  Two nights ago, I dreamed that I was trying to do a bicep curl, with 25lbs, while sitting in a lazy-boy chair, and wasn't able to lift it up beyond 90 degrees.  I was surprised to see a bundle of really-large blood vessels, protruding from my arm, had snagged something on the floor.  Last night I had multiple dreams of adventure that included my college-aged siblings and a new job in an old building where I'd discovered a new tea that I'd mixed up in a blue Rubbermaid container. 

In my waking hours I'm concerned about changes in the lumbar region of my lower spine - they're affecting my life and the medical system's ability to restore me to my previous physical capability is questionable.  Whatever course my spinal changes lead me, I hope that I remain peacefully grounded in the reality of my situation and that I don't need to look to my subconscious mind to discover what's really going on.  Yes, I will to be honest and humble with my condition as I walk the next part of my life journey.  I've heard we are humblest when we live most closely to the truth.

Is being honest and accepting of my current reality part of being kind to me?  A position of strength and peace where I can see, understand, accept, and continue my journey down the right path to the Celestial City?  Yes, that was a reference to John Bunyan's allegory - Pilgrim's Progress.

Some really good books... I'll have more time and life-space to read.

The only church in town will tend to be an honest, kind, and loving kind of place. People's most important needs will be met as relationships are worked out rightly - first with God and then with each other.  The church will be big enough that people will have opportunities to walk on the path with friends they can relate to, and grow with, in an honest and kind sort of way.

 

Just for today...

"Somewhere in my past I got the message that to think of myself first was wrong, that it was my duty to care for everyone else. As a consequence, I was never ready to take care of myself and so became a burden to those around me . . . In fact, improving myself is the only real action available to me . . . Why should others bother to follow my example if I can't take care of my own affairs? . . . To give advice to others is to intrude; to give advice to myself is to grow."   Courage to Change (p. 356)

December 20th - Love meets each other's needs...

The story...

I imagined a world that was envisioned for me to sell toothpaste, Chevrolets, and scrubbing agents by "Ad Men" in Manhattan.  There was no escaping the overwhelming number of ad messages - they worked.  Life's better when you're drinking a Coca-Cola.

It was a world of love and acceptance - freedom to be me with other like-minded people.  Nobody would tell me what to do - I would live out the good stuff and toss the mundane, boring, and self-deprecating parts into the trash. People would be as you imagined them to be.  I would find a life partner, who agreed with me, and live out an unburdened good life. 

Good Morning Sunshine - I thought this might be my reality?  Really???

My personality and intellect tended, and tends, to move me towards the rebellious end of the the spectrum.  What was my North Star that kept me going?  I think that it was my fundamental desire to be accepted, respected, and loved  Initially, I believed that the marriage relationship would fulfill those needs.  Marriage is really important - it can teach us how to give and receive love.  Yet, another person doesn't fill all the missing parts of a good and honest life.

The only church in town will communicate and work out relationships with God, and each other, through His provision in Christ.  I want to be found with Him now and for evermore - and work life out with other like-minded-hearted people..

Just for today...

"What role do my expectations as a child play in my difficulties as an adult?"  Hope for Today (p. 355)

"The more light we generate for others, the better we can see ourselves."  One Day at a Time (p. 355)

"Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous; love does not brag, it is not arrogant. It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit; it is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered, it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; it keeps every confidence, it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."  I Corinthians 13:4-6 (NASB)

December 19th - Is being thankful the best way to live?

The story...

In 2000, I chose the long-hard path of education and research to be awarded a PhD in engineering.  Thankfully, I found ways to integrate the PhD work and travel within an already busy schedule of work and family life.  The studies were related to my job; so, the course work and applications came relatively easy - the travel, missed activities, job changes, and dissertation didn't come easy.  I've never been much of a quitter and persevered to be awarded the degree of PhD in Industrial Engineering in 2010.  The journey took faith, passion, and discipline.  My eyes remained on the prize as I stepped forward.  I don't remember many people offering encouragement along the way - there were a lot of doubters and naysayers who advised caution and retreat.

Thankfully, I found a first-year teaching job at the University of Minnesota - Duluth (UMD).  It was a wonderful experience for which I'm extremely grateful.  The graduate-teaching job seemed to be a good person-job fit.  After my first year at UMD, I was offered a job as "Professor" at my alma mater - Iowa State University (ISU).  The job offer felt good yet it was too far from home.  After 10pm one April night, I talked to my son about his job search; described my own career dilemma; and relayed how I was trusting in God's provisions and not my own.  After our conversation, I left my apartment and walked to my campus office - I found the one job that might work at Eastern Michigan University (EMU).  I applied that night, interviewed the next week, and accepted the job the following week.  The professor and teaching career worked out - the journey required much faith.  I'm so... thankful for every step along the way.

What word would you choose to describe you?  I've settled in on the word "thankful."  I'm thankful for each: breath I breathe; day's weather; hot cup of coffee; expression of love; faithful friend; act of kindness; person I meet; memory of how life worked out; faith realized; and the wonderful surprises along the way.  

The only church in town can help each of us be more thankful.  How?  First, you can learn what your Creator revealed about who you are, where you came from, how to best live, and where you'll spend eternity - the "real" good stuff.  Second, you can learn how to be rid of the shame and guilt that may weigh heavy upon your back.  Third, you can learn to live more honestly within relationships characterized by love.  Fourth, you can witness other lives worked out within the reality of their faith in God's Word.

Just for today...

"Is any of the attention I once gave to negative thinking now focused on gratitude?"  Courage to Change (p. 354)

"I was told what to believe and how to believe. If I deviated even slightly from the chosen path, I was reproached and corrected . . .  They wanted to show the world a perfect family. Needless to say, I didn't develop any individuality . . . I had no idea what were my likes, dislikes, needs or desires."  Hope for Today (p. 354)