The story...
I'm standing between the elevators on the sixth floor of Knapp Hall, Murray House, in an angry confrontation with another college student. There are about a dozen other fellow students watching this play out - it looked like it was about to come to blows. Strangely, and in a mocking way, I say "I still love you ..." I was shocked to see his resistance instantly melt with him apologizing for his side of the offense. I stood there dumbfounded by what just occurred.
Oh... the things that offended me as a child, adolescent, adult and yesterday. Sometimes I: reacted quickly, paused before reacting, let it stew, tried to ignore it, discredited the sender, imagined it never happened, continually resented, or even privately forgave. Was it possible to show empathy towards the sender? Might I have ignored the initial sense of unfairness and sought to understand first? Might this "fire hose" of emotions been a signal of an interpersonal problem that had to be addressed for the relationship to continue or grow?
Surely, there're relationships that can be detrimental to one or both parties and need to be diminished. Yet, even these "breakups" will likely best work out under the umbrella of respect.
The only church in town will be bathed in grace and forgiveness. Each person makes a reasonable series of choices that leads them to the point of confrontation. "What's love got to do with it?" He forgives all sins in Christ and restores relationships with repentant sinners who walk humbly with Him. There's no better place to be found than in Christ - "I'm with Him!"
Just for today...
"Making amends has helped me to put the past behind me and move on with a clear conscience. My self-esteem has grown ever since, and I feel much better about myself." Courage to Change (p. 196)
"Its not easy to restrain ourselves from reacting to what others do that seems to affect us. A healthy detachment brings about the very changes we were powerless to make by continually fighting the problem." One Day at a Time (p. 196)
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