July 24th - My will isn't God's will yet God created me with a will.

The story...

This Friday's trip to Ludington State Park, on on my new yellow-KLR motorcycle, was wonderful.  I rode a new route and saw things that I'd previously ignored.  It seems I was often rushing in a quest to either get to a better place or to rush home as quickly as possible. 

Wow! Ludington Pumped Storage Plant

The weather was good, the people were friendly, the waitress was extra helpful, and the state park looked just like I left it - there were nice improvements.  Yet, the highlight of my trip plan was to cast a yellow-red Daredevil spoon off of the Lake Hamlin sand dunes - I imagined catching that Northern Pike. I planned for it, willed it, hiked there, had the stuff, and even the weather to make it happen. Yes, I was attempting to "bend" reality according to my will.  To my dismay, the area had too many boats and my secondary fishing site had two people wading in the bay!  My imagined reality wasn't going to happen.

I prayed a short prayer of thankfulness and remembered that God's will wasn't my will  Obviously, He has a different and righter plan than I could imagine.  So, I walked back to the parking lot with maybe five casts - silver, #3 Mepps spinner, no buck tail - along the way.  I sat down on a bench and closed my eyes for a few minutes.  The scene was comfortable, peaceful, and the sounds of the kids playing at the beach were joyful.  I gathered myself, picked up my rod, and sauntered along the shoreline to the dam.  There was an old man fishing below the dam who shared that he had no luck.  He wished me the best and on my third cast I caught the Pike I had hoped for - it was a joyful experience.

I do wear a big shoe...

There were always reasons for doing what I've done in my life.  I've made a series of reasonable choices, within the confines of my environment(s) and capabilities, to end up here.  Good situations sometimes resulted in increasing pride and smugness that led to downfalls while trials often resulted in a better, more capable, and thankful, me.  I'm thankful for everything about my life thus far.

God made us with a will to work out our life yet He intervenes through His sovereign will as He wishes.  We can ignore Him and reap the consequences of a self-willed life, trying to bend reality, or trust Him and experience increasing heart-felt joy and peace.  How could our will ever come close to the will of God for our lives?

The only church in town would share God's revealed truth for both eternity and this life too.  They'd share scripture like 1 Corinthians 15 so that people might hear and believe in God's provision for us, His creatures.  What an awesome wonder to be able to humbly and rightly walk with God in Christ. 

Just for today...

"At that moment of smug self-righteousness, God decided to send me a spiritual awakening. He told me that perhaps they understood more about Him than I did.  After all, they were the ones who were happy and free, filled with peace. Perhaps I could learn something from them if I opened my mind enough to listen and opened my heart enough to risk getting involved..."  Hope for Today (p. 206)

July 23rd - Am I trying to bend reality according to my will?

The story...

There are reasons for why I did the things that I did.  Reasons for the good and reasons for the not so good.  Sometimes I ignored information and put on rose-colored glasses to gloss over the truths that would prevent me from working out my will.

Ambervision glasses were good - the world looked better

I learned to be more honest with me and my situation; understanding more fully, albeit incompletely, the way God views my condition and life.  With this in mind, why do I continue to have resentments, for what other people did, crop up into my mind?  I know that the thoughts aren't good for me, or anybody else, yet they seem to reside somewhere, dormant, in the back of my mind.  Do they stay around to reduce the risk of a reoccurrence?

People within the only church in town will need healthy boundaries to work out their faith and life amongst the wide range of people who are likely working out their phase of life the best they can.  Life looks better without willing life to be different or attempting to bend reality.  Our honest humility opens up our trust in God and maybe a few close friends too.  Truly, rest, peace can be found in reality walking humbly with God.

Just for today...

"I am no longer a victim, full of self-pity and bent on control of every aspect of my life." Courage to Change (p. 205)

"Resentments mark the place where I see myself as a victim . . . Feeling resentments was like drinking poison and hoping that the other person would die! . . .  What do I get out of feeling like a victim? . . . I felt protected by my resentments. They acted as a barbed-wire fence to keep away the people I felt had hurt me.  The problem was I kept pricking my own skin on the barbs.  I also was comfortable with my resentments."  Hope for Today (p. 205)

July 22nd - Might we drop our cloaking shields to let in precious relationships?

The story...

I attended a week-night class, at our church, when I was 64.  I sat in the same seat next to three people who were significantly different from me.  Each evening, the leader would break us into small groups to answer two questions.  The second question normally opened the opportunity for our "guards" to be dropped so that we might listen more closely to each other's inner person - their heart.   As you might guess, we became good friends and I love each of them more deeply than most people at our church.  These three relationships were an unexpected blessing to me.

There were other people in the class who I've known much longer than my three new friends.  I don't share the same type of relationship with them.  I probably could but I don't.

Thankfully I stayed curious + made friends

The only church in town would be a place where it might seem normal for a person to meet another co-sojourner and ask earnestly "how's your heart today?"  And, you might perform a 3-sec.self-inventory and respond that you are both thankful and joyful despite the circumstances that you're currently experiencing.

Just for today...

"I don't have to like everybody, but I want to look deeper to find the spirit that we share in common . . . I will keep an open mind toward each person I encounter today. If I am ready to learn, anyone can be my teacher."  Courage to Change (p. 204)

July 21st - Does a birdfeeder help or hurt the birds?

The story...

I've enjoyed feeding birds over the last few years.  Surely, they don't need seed in May yet they seem to appreciate it the rest of the year.  We can sense the community of nature around our house and feeders.  The squirrels, turkey and deer search the area for fallen seed.  More birds seem to live and nest in the area. Our chunk of the woods seems more alive and vibrant.  The sound of singing birds contribute to a sense of peacefulness.

The bird feeding naysayers say that the bird population might rise artificially to an unsustainable level, or it's a waste of time and money, or they may catch diseases from their close proximity to each other, or the woodpeckers will tear our house up, or we'll stop feeding them and upset the ecosystem.  The costs of living in a bird community are too high - the birds must live independently in order to survive.

Turkeys, squirrel, & deer must wish they'd get at the source of that seed.

The only church in town will be kind of like my bird feeder.  People congregate and feed off good together.  The people are different and don't always get along yet they need each other.  It certainly is a place to spread summer colds.  The quality of the food delivery can vary and some will say "idealistically" it should be different.  Yet the source is available to them - truth from the Word God.

As for me and my house, we plan on continuing to enjoy feeding the birds and feeding our hearts, minds, souls, and spirits along with our fellow sojourners within church.

Just for today...

"At best my family had poor communication or none at all. It seemed no one was available to help me. In fact, I usually was the recipient of criticisms and complaints. Instead of feeling united with my family, I felt isolated and alone."  Hope for Today (p. 203)

"When I let go of a situation, I allow life to unfold according to that plan. I open my mind and let other ways of thinking or behaving enter in. When I let go of another person, I am affirming their right to live their own life, to make their own choices, and to grow as they experience the results of their actions."  Courage to Change (p.203)

July 20th - Why live in an imaginary reality?

The story...

Males in my mother's and father's families were all balding except for one.  My receding hairline and "spot" were visible in my wedding pictures.  I knew it was happening yet it crept up slowly.  Then, there was the day that my friend who cut my hair, Penny, reached for the electric cutter rather than the scissors.  She admitted that trimmers would do just as good as scissors yet she appreciated both my business and our friendship.  The day that I finally accepted that I was bald and began cutting my own hair was a good one.  I let loose of the old and accepted the reality of the new.  Actually, there're advantages living in the reality of being a bald guy.  I could list a few, that you might not be aware of, but that's not what this story's about.

Living within the reality of our actual environment, mental, physical, and spiritual state is the best place to be - peace, well being, and joy can be found there.  Living in an imaginary place, within any of these dimensions, is like living in a house of cards.  Maybe hyped-up emotions are an indicator or sign that you might be living outside reality.  Might those over reactions and need to do exciting stuff, with amped-up emotions, indicate a life lived in the uncomfortable state of an imagined reality?   Are our emotions like gauges that might give us clues as to "What's going on?"

"What's going on?"  4 Non-Blondes

The only church in town would be a place where you can find out what's going on.  People who reach out in love may ask you.  And, most importantly, you can hear and better understand what God has revealed about what's really going on.

Just for today...

"By clutching at what we most want to keep, we lose it all the more rapidly . . . By letting go of our efforts to influence the future, we become freer to experience the present, to feel all of our feelings while they are happening, and to more full enjoy those precious moments of joy with which we are blessed."  Courage to Change (p. 202)

July 19th - Why didn't you just ask?

The story...

I first saw it while I quickly ran down the stairs on Christmas morning.  There it was!   It was blue, my favorite color, shiny, big and a 5-speed.  My parents got me a man-sized bike for Christmas!  I don't remember begging for it yet I might've.  Maybe my mother felt my need when she saw that other kids had full-sized bikes and that I was still riding the hand-me-down bike.  Maybe they felt obligated to give it to me because they did the same for my older siblings.  It was a real need and it was met well.  It might've been part of the reason that I accepted a paper route that I kept for four years.  That paper route helped shape me into a better, more capable, person.  The paper route prepared me to accept my job as the drug-store delivery boy.  And the drug-story delivery boy job prepared me for...  Yes, that bike was a need that was worth asking for.

Mine wasn't a Schwinn but it did have a rack on the back.

I wanted so many things that I didn't ask for.  Why?  Maybe, I didn't' think that people would want to give them to me.  Or, I was comfortable with the way things were even though they weren't great.  Maybe, I developed coping skills that told me that I was better off than others and I didn't need anything - they were wrong and I was right.  Or, I didn't know if I was capable of using the thing if I got it.  Maybe, if I got it, I might lose it someday. Or, maybe I simply feared rejection.  Maybe, I wanted to be loved above all other things and the "no" answer would move the possibility of being loved even further away...

The only church in town would be a safe place where your need for love might best be understood and at least partially fulfilled.   Yes, our ultimate need is to love the Lord our God with all our heart, mind and strength.  And, to love our neighbor as ourself.  That kind of stuff sounds real good and worthy of asking for.

Just for today...

"If I want or need something, I have to let someone know.  I need to ask, which means taking risks.  Maybe my request will be granted; maybe it won't.  If it is, great. If it isn't, I'll still feel better for having asked, and then I can move on to someone else who might be able to help me."  Hope for Today (p. 201)

"Walls are solid and rigid; they keep others out, and they keep me trapped inside.  Boundaries are flexible, changeable, removable, so it's up to me how open or closed I'll be at any given time.  They let me me decide what behavior is acceptable, not only from others but from myself."  Courage to Change (p. 201)

July 18th - No Man is an Island - Thomas Merton

The story...

The life of a monk, I'll never experience.  I do aspire to have the ability to write honestly and robustly about the actualities of my life and faith.  My ability to communicate my reality is hampered by my: limited communication skills; ability to understand my own heart; the few people I share the reality of my faith with; and the interference that my "self" causes. 

I'm so thankful for the faithful life of Thomas Merton - his honest description of his life journey, his faithful walk in Christ, and his ability to describe it so accurately and succinctly.  Contemplating his paragraph copied and cited below is helpful.  I'm not able to add to what he so succinctly presents - just for today.

Just for today...

"To consider persons and events and situations only in the light of their effect upon myself is to live on the doorstep of hell.  Selfishness is doomed to frustration, centered as it is upon a lie. To live exclusively for myself, I must make all things bend themselves to my will as if I were a god. But this is impossible. Is there any more cogent indication of my creaturehood than the insufficiency of my own will? For I cannot make the universe obey me. I cannot make other people conform to my own whims and fancies. I cannot make even my own body obey me.  When I give it pleasure, it deceives my expectation and makes me suffer pain. When I give myself what I conceive to be freedom, I deceive myself and find that I am the prisoner of my own blindness and selfishness and insufficiency."   Merton, Thomas, No Man is an Island (1955) (p. 24)

"I will not resist the impact of a new idea.  It may be just the one I've needed without being aware of it. I will make my mind more flexible and receptive to new points of view."  One Day at a Time (p. 200)

"... I can plant a seed in fertile soil, but I don't help the plant to grow by tugging at the seed in hope that it will sprout. I have to let the process unfold at its own pace."  Courage to Change (p. 200)

July 17th - Staying okay within healthy boundaries

The story...

Our dog buddy was old and sick.  We loved him.  We took him to the vet and they confirmed that his life was ending.  I held him while he breathed his last.  My eyes are watering as I recall those moments.  I wasn't okay - the reality of death stinks.  It shouldn't be that way, but it was.

If I can't be okay unless all those who I care about are okay then I'll never be okay.  Surely, its logical that the best way for me to be helpful for others is to come from a place of strength, peace, and "okayness."  

What does it take to be okay?  Maybe its being honest about my past, present, and future - more humble.  Maybe it takes working on meaningful relationships while allowing the other person(s) to be truthful and okay as they are.  "Okayness" that isn't based on reality seems fragile and temporary at best.

Funerals shine a big light on the reality of this game of life.  If your saving faith in God's provision for your today, and eternity, is weak then it takes a bit of pretending to be okay.  The only church in town will mourn at the death of one of their own yet the funeral will profess their reason for hope and "okayness."  Yes, I'm okay in Christ - God said so, I believe so, and I'll walk today in that reality.  It could've been different but it isn't.

Just for today...

"Because my fate - my very life - was no longer tied directly to theirs, I was able to accept them for who they were and to listen to their ideas and concerns without trying to exercise control."  Courage to Change (p. 199)

"Though I was attempting in good faith to arrive at an agreeable solution, I was repeatedly met with sarcasm.  After a time I said that if the sarcasm persisted, I would not participate any further . . . I gained respect from the other person when I matched my intentions with my actions."  Hope for Today (p. 199)

July 16th - EGO maintenance or replacement?

The story...

A Human Resources representative delivered a 360 degree performance evaluation to me and summarized the feedback that she received with one phrase: "It's all about you."  I appreciated the honest feedback yet it stung.  Sure I talk about me and what I'm interested in most.  Who else's ideas could I share?  Okay, I didn't know the names of my work-group's family members - why is that a problem?  I'm a story teller, who else's stories can I tell?  The feedback was valuable and I never forgot it.  It took effort and courage to develop and deliver that feedback to me - I'm extremely grateful that she succinctly delivered the feedback in a manner that I received it.  My self awareness grew much that day.

So, my ego is that part of my conscience mind which I consider myself.  It's who I'm referring to when I use the word "I."  Is it a worthy endeavor to better understand and value my ego?  When does self-awareness and development turn that nasty corner toward narcissism?   Am, I lovable as I am?  Can I love me without being consumed by self-love and falling into loneliness and despair?  What's a healthy level of self-esteem?

My favorite verse of the bible is a wish that the Apostle Paul sends to a congregation of people in Rome whom he'd never met.  I wish the same thing for me and for you too.  

"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."  Romans 15:13 NASB

The "selves" who walk into the only church in town would find what they're looking for in a right relationship with God and His community.  There they may find that healthy ego that enables a person to live a more satisfying, joyful, peaceful, and fruitful life.  Hopefully they'll witness, meet, and walk with people who're trusting God.

Why is it so hard for a man to bend his knee and trust in God and His provision for the "good" life?  Why is faith in God and His Word soo... elusive for most people?  The self seems to rebel against this threat to it's supreme authority and preeminence.  It's almost like our old self is trying to save itself from being transformed from that caterpillar to the butterfly.

Just for today...

"Maturity is the capacity to withstand ego-destroying experiences, and not lose one's perspective in the ego-building experiences."  Robert K. Greenleaf

“Despair is the absolute extreme of self-love. It is reached when a person deliberately turns his back on all help from anyone else in order to taste the rotten luxury of knowing himself to be lost.”  Thomas Merton

July 15th - Honest or Complacent?

The story...

In general, most people, who know me, would characterize me as being an honest person; however, how I've worked out my "honesty" has changed throughout my life.  We all know that you don't share a poor opinion regarding the beauty of a mother's new baby.  When your spouse comes home with a radically different haircut, you don't question the sound logic of making the change or openly evaluate the "look" as being worse.  Yet, what do you say when the king's not wearing pants yet the whole community pretends to ignore the obvious truth?

Hans Christian Andersen, 1837

The opinions we form, value and defend might be part of this dilemma.  The need to think like the group to remain accepted or valued might be part of the problem.  The continual quest to be and think like the "best" might be part of the problem.  Working out our life as a sort of "random walk" might be part of the problem.  Staying complacent and sticking with, and self-justifying, our current way of behaving is likely part of the problem.

Maybe the solution contains a code of values, principles, or core tenets regarding how we live our life which don't change.  Yet, even if the code we live by is sound, how do we relate with others whose code is different, changing, or directly opposed to ours?  I expect that the answer will likely include demonstrating and expressing dignity and respect toward all humans no matter where they currently are within their life journey.  We'll all likely grow together as we express love towards each other, let our guards down some, and begin to better understand each other within closer relationships.

The only church in town will focus on the truth of God's revealed Word and extend grace to others as Christ has extended to those who trust in Him.  Honesty is an important part of every relationship.  Are you rightly related to God through Christ?

Just for today...

"Complacency simply means being sure we're right, taking it for granted that our view couldn't possibly be wrong. It means judging others by what we think is right. It blocks out understanding and kindness, and justifies qualities in ourselves that we wouldn't find tolerable in other people."  One Day at a Time (p. 197)

July 14th - Do ya really want to react like Quick Draw McGraw?

The story...

I'm standing between the elevators on the sixth floor of Knapp Hall, Murray House, in an angry confrontation with another college student.  There are about a dozen other fellow students watching this play out - it looked like it was about to come to blows.  Strangely, and in a mocking way, I say "I still love you ..."  I was shocked to see his resistance instantly melt with him apologizing for his side of the offense.  I stood there dumbfounded by what just occurred.

Oh... the things that offended me as a child, adolescent, adult and yesterday.  Sometimes I: reacted quickly, paused before reacting, let it stew, tried to ignore it, discredited the sender, imagined it never happened, continually resented, or even privately forgave. Was it possible to show empathy towards the sender?  Might I have ignored the initial sense of unfairness and sought to understand first?  Might this "fire hose" of emotions been a signal of an interpersonal problem that had to be addressed for the relationship to continue or grow?

"Now hold on there!" 1951 - 1962

Surely, there're relationships that can be detrimental to one or both parties and need to be diminished. Yet, even these "breakups" will likely best work out under the umbrella of respect.

The only church in town will be bathed in grace and forgiveness.  Each person makes a reasonable series of choices that leads them to the point of confrontation.  "What's love got to do with it?"  He forgives all sins in Christ and restores relationships with repentant sinners who walk humbly with Him.  There's no better place to be found than in Christ - "I'm with Him!"

Just for today...

"Making amends has helped me to put the past behind me and move on with a clear conscience.  My self-esteem has grown ever since, and I feel much better about myself."  Courage to Change (p. 196)

"Its not easy to restrain ourselves from reacting to what others do that seems to affect us.  A healthy detachment brings about the very changes we were powerless to make by continually fighting the problem."  One Day at a Time (p. 196)

July 13th - Living in the reality of the "present."

The story...

I remember feeling lonely in August long ago - the hopes and dreams of activities, growth, happiness, and good relationships didn't happen as I hoped.  Sadly, I remember thinking, "well, the summer is over for everybody else too" - it didn't make any difference whether my summer was good or bad.

Sunflower in August

If my current-self could sit down with my old-self, what would I share with him to give him a "jump start" on life?   How might I help him heal the wounds in my old-self's heart?  Sadly, I don't know what I'd say; yet, I believe that I'd express my sincere love for him.  How would he sense and know that love?

Was there a person, who I now know, who knew a better answer to the secrets of a good life?  Was there a book that I could've shared with him?  Might I've shared with him the good stuff that actually would occur in his life?  Should I've told him to invest all of his money into ownership shares of Microsoft so that he would be "all set?"

The good that's come to me was centered on living in the present with a right relationship with God in Christ.  It's good to love God, love myself as He does, and more naturally love other people too.  I imagine a good life kinda looking like that really big sunflower.  Hmm, maybe I'd take my old self to see a field of really big sunflowers and share the reality of my most precious relationship?

The only church in town would be a safe place for that younger version of me to be introduced to the love of God worked out through people with skin on them - those who're still in the world of the living.   A place where true joy and happiness can be found living in the present.

Just for today...

"How many days of my life have I wasted? . . . I rejected overtures of friendship from co-workers so that I could fret, uninterrupted about what was bothering me . . . When my worries and sorrows cloak me, the laughter and sunshine of the everyday world seem inappropriate to the way I feel.  Who is out of sync - the rest of the world or me? . . . Today I will live in the present and find what I can enjoy there."  Courage to Change (p. 195)

July 12th - Life relationships

The story...

The people I normally congregate with planned a different kind of event where we would spend a full Saturday together - all together on a big bus.  I invited two of my long-term friends to go with us - one said yes and the other said yes only because of the first friend's enthusiasm to go. 

Not the bus we went on yet it looks "fun."

It seemed that after about eight hours the initial anxieties and awkwardness of being in a group melted away and it also seemed that we felt a bit more rested and content together.   On the way home, the person who was reluctant to go sat across the table from me eating the largest Arby's roast beef.  They shared that the event was much better than they expected and they were glad that they came; but, he had one question.  I had introduced him to a person within the group whom I described as a best friend who I often shared ideas, questions, learnings, concerns, and spiritual life realities with.  So, what was his question?  "Have you ever shared bad stuff about me with him?"   

I paused as I reflected on the question.  I was surprised that I actually had no "bad stuff "that I knew about my friend.  And, I had no bad feelings or thoughts about any other person either.  At least at that moment, I truly did feel acceptance and respect for all people just as they were.   I was able to truthfully say to him: "Actually, I don't have bad thoughts about anybody and certainly not you.  No, I didn't share bad stuff about you."  He replied: "That's good."

Within the only church in town, people would find compassion for all, just the way they are.  They would learn about the reality of who they are in Christ.  They would be able to love God and themselves too.   That's a source of strength where we can truly have compassion for everybody.  Praise God in Christ - "grace, grace, wonderful grace."

Just for today...

"The more scared I was the more I tried to control.  Fear reared its ugly head particularly in my belief that I wasn't good enough or smart enough to have joyful, trusting and intimate relationships.  Instead of allowing myself to connect with others, I would often avoid them."  Hope for Today (p. 194)

"I can focus on myself and still be a loving, caring person . . . Encouraging and being kind to others is one way of being good to myself, and I don't have to sacrifice myself in the process . . . Today I will offer support for those I love and still take care of myself."  Courage to Change (p. 194)

"If you would be loved, love, and be loveable."  Benjamin Franklin

July 11th - Even if...

The story...

I regret the times that my emotions got the better of me and I reacted quickly by lashing out at other people.  I treated my band director with public disrespect, I hit one fellow student in the face with a textbook, I threw an ice-cream boat in the face of another, I went on two different long tirades condemning people for their wrongs toward someone I cared deeply for, I yelled at a co-worker in the middle of the office...   I might have let them be and focused on my role in the situation - actually being a better character in the story of life.  I wish these events didn't happen but they did.

Gary has to answer the question "whose your daddy?"  It's not hard to imagine the emotions that're swirling around Gary's head.  Yet, he suppresses those emotions and begins a path that stretches and grows him towards a bigger and better life.  Gary's friend "Dean Martin" stands firm and refuses to grow - he misses out.

"Whose your daddy Gary?"

Will I be okay today even if this or that happens?  Will I treat others with love and respect even if they...?  Am I okay no matter what?  

I'll have emotional responses to the hard happenings that come my way; yet, I can choose how I respond or react.  It does take practice to delay my response from those emotional triggers.  Some say that feelings last no more than 90 seconds yet we can keep restimulating them with our thought patterns.  Oh... the perils of obsessive thinking.

The only church in town will witness each person growing throughout their lives.  I hope that the people will actually "be" who they are in Christ rather than "try" to be good people.  The heat of the battles of life seem to expose who we are.  The Sprit of God and an ongoing relationship with God transforms people.

Just for today...

Why not trade the worrisome thoughts of "what if" with "even if?"

"When angry, count to ten before you speak; if very angry, a hundred."  Thomas Jefferson

July 10th - Curious George

The story...

Curious George was my favorite character from the books I read as a  young boy.  I was surprised and sad when the librarian told me that I'd read the whole series.  There were no more Curious George books to read - "no, that can't be!"  George was true to his nature, as a monkey, but loved and respected the man in the yellow hat who often saved him from the troubles that he encountered, within the world, as he ventured forth.  George wondered what if..., or where might..., or how does..., or who is..., or what will that do?  George pushed the limits and experienced a more full and adventurous life - he didn't "play it safe."

The book series was likely popular because people want to experience a "bigger" life yet they play it safe to avoid risks of failure, rejection, injury...  Yet, playing it safe often results in a more isolated, smaller, anxious, and lonely self.  I'm thankful for every close relationship and new experience that helped stretch the boundaries of life.  Yes, when I'm okay with myself, I'm more free to enjoy other people just as they are.  Wow, what a neat thing to be truly interested in the lives of the other pilgrims who're traveling on alongside me.  

I wonder what will happen today, who I will meet, or how the Lord will work His way through the lives of those who are His. Yes, thankfully I'm a curious sort.

The only church in town would include many who greatly value their relationships. The source of their willingness to be curious will be the peace they currently enjoy in God through Christ - they risk experiencing love with a strong sense that they're okay.  A best relationship may serve as a foundation for taking our eyes off ourselves and truly, and more honestly, toward others.

Just for today...

"I won't let old, limiting ideas and doubts go unchallenged.  I may discover strengths and talents that never had the chance to come to light."  Courage to Change (p. 192)

"Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they're yours."  Richard Bach.

"Most folks are about as happy as they make up their mind to be."  Abraham Lincoln

July 9th - Is denying reality a reasonable coping skill?

The story...

The orthopedic surgeon showed me an MRI picture of my spine - the source of my misery.  Yes, there was a surgical method to control or "fix" the problem.  To help put the surgery choice in perspective he showed me an MRI image of an old woman's spine that looked like a stack of crumbled bones - she lived pain free.  How did she live without pain?  She was a peaceful woman whose back muscles were relaxed.  If she tensed her strong back muscles around those crumbled bones then she surely could've produced pain and all the anxieties that go along with it.

I chose the surgery option and it was successful.  For a season, I experienced relief from the pain caused from my back muscle tension around my crumbling spine and that bundle of nerves.  My current reality is less restrictive and enjoyable then my past reality with the Spondylolisthesis.  I'm glad I faced the reality of my situation and chose what seemed to be the best option.  There were many who offered their do-nothing opinion based on the fearful consequences and peril that my surgery decision might mean.

Within the only church in town, attenders will witness those who live a peaceful life throughout the inevitable circumstances of each stage of life.  They will hear about and witness real and fruitful relationships with God and people who seem to love themselves and their neighbors too.  That's eternal truth and reality revealed by God in scripture.  No, He didn't create this world and life and leave us alone.

A dishonest life? .. Sleepless in Seattle

Just for today...

"What kind of stuff is self-pity made of, that it can entrench in my mind and keep me miserable? . . . Self pity comes from concentrating on the negative aspects of life. . . To expect life to be tailored to our specifications is to invite frustration."  One Day at a Time (p. 191)

"... many of us coped with an ever-changing situation in which our sense of reality changed from one minute to the next . . . we were devastated because reality didn't go away just because it was ignored.  Our lives will remain unmanageable  as long as we pretend that only half of the truth is real . . .  I can't cope with something unless I acknowledge its reality."  Courage to Change (p. 191)

July 8th - Life is lived breath by breath...

The story...

In accounting, assets need to balance liabilities with a net sum of zero - life ain't that way.  If I want a particular outcome, or series of events, then I'll always be disappointed.  Yet, if I live in the present and value my relationships; then, my assets can be huge and my liabilities mere needs that can be fulfilled by the grace of God and love extended from others.

The only church in town would be a place where people meet neighbors who are thankful for life and every breath they breathe in the present.  Yes, life is a gift lived out in the present.

A breath of life recorded

I wonder if we'll breathe in eternity?  Will there be darkness when the "Light" is there?

Just for today...

"A great deal can be learned as a result of painful circumstances, but they are not my only teachers. I live in a world of wonders. Today I will pay attention to their gentle wisdom."  Courage to Change (p. 190)

"In those who are still bound to their unhappiness, we hear, beyond their words, angry judgments of the . . . , self pity, and a grim determination to 'win the battle,' no matter what."  One Day at a Time (p. 190)

July 7th - Does an Unwanted Opinion Rust Relationships?

The story...

A good friend recently hurt a joint while performing a new activity where they've found fun, new friends, and success too - the good fit they were looking for.  So, they're ignoring the pain and wanting to believe an alternate reality that allows them to continue on this new path towards happiness.  They know the right thing to do yet they don't want to accept it.   Advice to take a pause, or even see a doctor, may be viewed as unwanted criticism.

I actually did treat them like a neighbor and listened with the intent of understanding where they were at.  Yes, I used reflective listening and empathized with their situation.  They did reach, what seems like, a good conclusion and our relationship seemed to be bolstered too.

It's been a great joy to care for other people without even offering a hint of opinion related to how they might best work out their lives.  This seems to be an ingredient for better understanding others and real personal growth too.

Yes, the only church in town will be a place where your neighbors congregate.  More loving relationships with self, neighbors and our God in Christ.

Trader Joes - where neighbors meet up?

Just for today...

"Obsessively reviewing everyone's behavior focuses my attention where it doesn't belong . . . I can consider the part I played . . . Instead of wringing my hands and pointing my finger, I can consider the possibility that everything is happening exactly as it should."  Courage to Change (p. 189)

"To withdraw from an argument may not make you the winner, but what you have saved is your own dignity and grace."  One Day at a Time (p.189)

July 6th - Do you fear letting God lead?

The story...

Two men walk into a room and find a huge pile of dung in the middle of the room.  The first guy frowns and says "this is awful, who did this, and who's going to clean it up?"   The second guy's smiling and says "there must be a pony in here somewhere."

I think that I'm generally optimistic and recognize that what appears to be bad often has an unexpected upside.  Yet, some people grew up in situations where "bad" stuff was the norm and their life was marked with fear, distrust, and the need to fix, manage, and control other people and most situations.

It seems right for people to want to fix, manage, and control their lives in order to increase the likelihood of a "best" possible outcome.  Yet, people in the only church in town will hear about trusting God.  It seems scary to be out of control.  What would a life surrendered to God look like?  Might it be like a coordinated ballroom dance where God is the lead?  You can imagine what an out-of-synch dance looks like when both try to lead.  Wouldn't it be nice to rest and let God do the leading? 

The only church in town would be more peaceful than fearful.  Those who try to fix, manage, and control their lives, and others too, might witness the life dance of some who trust God to lead.  People who grew in the actualities of trusting and walking humbly with God together.  He is trustworthy.

Just for today...

"Disappointments growing up with . . . fueled my expectations that bad things would always happen.  I came to expect the worst, leading to a deep fear that permeated my will and my life."  Hope for Today (p. 188)

"Today I seek to be an instrument of the peace of God.  I know that it is the most loving and generous commitment I can possibly make - to myself."  Courage to Change (p. 188)

"I am leaving you with a gift - peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give." John 14:27 NLT

July 5th - Detach with Love and Let'em Live

The story...

I was a manager who assigned an important project to a person who worked for me.  So, I stopped by his office multiple times to check on how well it was going and to offer help.  He later stopped in my office and told me that it bothered him when I checked on his work so much.  It seemed to him, that I was showing that I didn't trust him or his capability to complete the project without my help - my "checkups" made him anxious.

I was surprised by his feedback yet couldn't doubt its authenticity.  I could have disregarded the feedback by discrediting the sender; yet, he was a good man.  Over time, I did change the way I worked with people within my work groups.  Yet, I didn't apply the principle too well to other areas of my life.  I was beginning to learn the value of detachment and to trust others with their own lives - to treat them more fully with dignity and respect.  

Today, I rarely have an opinion regarding what another person should do with their lives.  I enjoy understanding others more and have developed more meaningful and less guarded relationships with others.  It seems that my life is more influential as I walk side-by-side others rather than giving them unwanted advice.  Might unwanted advice be disguised criticism?

Co-dependent or Independents within Community?

Within the only church in town, would others have opinions regarding how I ought to live out my own life?  They can't possibly know my heart or God's will for my life.  They'd know and share what God's revealed regarding Who He is, who we are as His creatures, and how we might humbly and honestly walk with Him.  I hope that the people would be vulnerable and feel safe enough to share the reality of their faith worked out in the actualities of their lives.  Yet, God's timing and His will for each person's life remains hidden until it's worked out between God and each person.  

Why not live and let live?  Can you trust them with their lives?

Just for today...

"... detachment is the freedom to own what is mine and to allow others to own what is theirs. . . I can detach and still love, still feel."  Courage for Change (p. 187)

July 4th - I wonder if somebody will sit next to me?

The story...

I sat next to a woman on a train to Milwaukee yesterday.  Unexpectedly, we shared much of the important parts of our lives.  Kristen let me know that she had her eye removed with hopes of eradicating the cancer in her body yet she recently discovered that the cancer is now in her liver - there's no known cure for that type of cancer.  She's participating in a sort of holistic program to extend her life with the hope that a new, yet unknown solution, might materialize.

She was a positive person with much support in her life.   We discussed living in 3-month intervals, the pros and cons of hoping for a miracle, difficulties related to thinking about future plans, and the important parts of life that might make a difference into eternity.  I think that we encouraged each other and were both better off for having met and listened to each other with open hearts.  I'm glad that I chose to sit next to her.  I wrote a prayer card and placed it in my prayer box.  I hope that she lives a long fruitful life yet I likely will never know - we shared only our first names.  I wish now we would have traded e-mail addresses.

The only church in town would likely be a place where congregates might expect conversations regarding life's challenges and eternal realities with open, honest, and humble God trusting people.  Human wisdom and hope have limited value when interment is in view.

Just for today...

• Value each person we meet - it's a miracle that each of us is alive.
• Be open to God's leading and resist temptations to be your own little god.
• Seek to understand them - you might open an opportunity to both give and receive love.

July 3rd - Group Understanding and Consensus within the Light

The story...

We were hiring a new engineer and our new group-consensus recruiting process had filtered down the list of candidates to two.  We used a group interview and scoring process.  Both people were very different and the group was split regarding who was expected to best both perform the job and work well within the group(s) and organization.  I vocally supported my candidate as part of the minority.  I accepted the group's decision to offer the job to the other guy yet I was a bit frustrated by both the process and the resulting decision.  As the years went by, it was clear that the group made the right decision - "they were right and I'm glad I listened."  Yes, I'm a believer in a group interviewing and decision making process.  Maybe each person's perspective does shine light on the fuller implications of the decision making process?

The only church in town would value all people and seek to understand them in both the light of day and God's revelations.  Might we find answers to the question of how we fit into His Will there?  How do we understand God's Will for ourselves, others, and the group when we aren't capable of knowing our own heart?  I expect that the only church in town would focus on right relationships between God, me, and my fellow congregates too.  Yes, they would follow the greatest commandment to love the Lord our God with all our hearts, mind, and strength.  And, to love our neighbor as we love ourselves.  Shining the light of God on relationships, decisions, and plans for the future too. 

In my limited experience, God does intervene in my life in a continuous way.  His Word and Spirit do seem to validate my walk within His will with a sense of peace.  When my soul wanders and seeks to glorify my imagined self, the Spirit of God convicts me and restores our working relationship - a work of God.  It surprises me when my soul is at peace when my circumstances seem to say I "should" be thinking and feeling otherwise.

Just for today...

"I do not know what is best for other people.  Today I will remember that newcomers, and everyone else, are in the hands of a Power greater than myself."  Courage to Change (p. 185)

July 2nd - Is a Peaceful or Vibrant Chapter Best?

The story...

What does being peaceful mean to you - Less consternation, calm feelings, a quiet sense of purpose and strong relationships?   Some would rather have a vibrant life characterized by: excited thoughts, amped up feelings, a sense that anything's possible, and a life less bounded by relationships?

Maybe younger adults are designed to live vibrant lives and older people are designed to work out more peaceful lives.  If that's true, then is it reasonable to expect a younger person to live with a sense of peace, calmness, and purpose?  Would a peaceful person be able to move mountains, lead thousands, and work out a close and continual relationship with their God too?

I'm thankful for each stage of life and how I've learned to say goodbye to the old and hello to the new.  The book of my life wouldn't be as rich and meaningful without all the chapters - the good, the bad, and the ugly too.

The only church in town would be full of unique and wonderful biographies that're all in the process of being written.  There'd be a library where people could read completed biographies yet they wouldn't spend too much time there.  They'd all recognize the great value of experiencing the current chapter of each person within community.

Just for today...

"If I am getting in the way of my own best interests, a closer look at my behavior can lead to positive changes."  Courage to Change (p. 184)

July 1st - Let 'em Be Free

The story...

My rebellious spirit resisted efforts to fix, manage, control or dominate me.  Had I been more compliant, I likely would've received better grades, learned to play a cornet better, better understood what others were into, and been a part of more groups too.  I do greatly appreciate the groups and relationships that I've been a part of; yet, I seemed driven towards freedom from group think and domineering controlling types.  Sadly, this meant that I had to find ways to deal with the rejection that goes along with a rebellious spirit.

The jobs that I chose, and flourished in, allowed me to exercise my independence and drive change in the processes that converted inputs into outputs.  Rebel against the status quo and change things to make them better.  The jobs involved imagination, risk, reward, influence, and an internal need to succeed - I was naturally good at this type of work and change characterized my career.  When things became too predictable, I moved on towards the next thing.

Was I born to walk this road or was I a product of my environment?  Nobody knows the answer.  I do believe that we all need every person to work out their unique abilities, skills and talents for the benefit of us all.

How might the only church in town be a place where all people would congregate when some of them are rebels like me?  I think that we'd let each person work out their own lives and provide opportunities for groups who would focus on relationships amongst congregates.  Yet, the - North Star - purpose would always be for each person to rest in their right relationship with God in Christ.

Just for today...

"...what I view as a finely developed sense of responsibility may actually amount to a form of dominance." Hope for Today (p.183)

"...the man I married cannot be the source of my happiness or sorrow.  The gift of life is personally mine - as his life belongs to him - to enjoy or destroy, as each of us wishes."  One Day at a Time ([. 183)

"Ever'thing there is but lovin' leaves a rust on yo' soul." Langston Hughes