September 5th - Living in an imaginary reality?

The story...

I loved the idea of the Olympic Games and often imagined competing in my favorite event(s) - decathlon, downhill skiing, biathlon...  I'd be the victorious one who worked hard to overcome all problems and shortcomings to be the best.  "It would be soo... great to win."

It pained me to think that the wait was four years between events.  I do wonder whether the reality of the games was as good as I hoped it would be.  I never actually went to the games and the TV coverage was much more limited then.  Was I living in that imaginary world trying to fulfill latent needs?   I sure enjoyed following: Mark Spitz, Bruce Jenner, Edwin Moses, Eric Heiden, Usain Bolt, Bode Miller, Katie Ledecky...

Pride in Country and dreams of winning in the game of life seemed like positive character traits.  Did they compel me to want to be a better man?  If I couldn't reasonably win, I likely lived in a more imaginary world where I might.  Was I spending too much of my thought life in an imagined future versus living out the actual day(s) that were mine?

I expect that the only church in town would preach the Good News of how we can live out this life, and the one to follow, walking humbly and closer with God.  Imagining the future and reflecting on the past may be helpful; yet, they surely shouldn't supersede living out today's reality.  Today is where we can actually live out the miracle of life in the presence of God.

Just for today...

"I'd get so caught up in what I was going to do that I often wasn't aware of what I was doing now . . . I give thanks for the little joys in each day. I still make plans, but I don't let my thoughts erase the present. Anticipation is sweet, but not at the cost of today."  Hope for Today (p. 249)

"The true nature of my problems was my stubborn refusal to acknowledge feelings, to accept them, and to let them go. I have very little power over what feelings arise, but what I choose to do about them is my responsibility. Today I can accept my feelings, share about them with others, recognize they are feelings, not facts, and let them go."  Courage to Change (p. 249)

"Our greatest handicap is self-deception. We cannot recognize in ourselves the faults we criticize in others."  One Day at a Time (p. 249)

"May be; Oh so great - That'd be good; Must wait."
"Today's iffy; Why strive? - Big or little; I'm alive!"    Am I a Poet?

September 4th - Trying to control the uncontrollable?

The story...

What if we had one day per week where we didn't plan anything?   We could choose to: pray; listen; exercise; rest; care for us; or enjoy relationships.  We might: be flexible with our schedules; resist urges to engage in other's business; or live a more joyful, peaceful and hope-filled day.

Some of you might be thinking: "I'd like to choose like that but it's impossible - the other people in my life don't behave like that."  It's possible that a more fruitful life might spill over into the lives of others too - a sort of engine drawing others towards their own good stuff.

How might we better respond when we find ourselves working the opposite by "trying" to control our environment or interactions amongst others?   Do you tend to campaign, or argue, for your opinions to our detriment?  There's a better way.

Harvard Business Review - "How to stop worrying about what other people think."

The only church in town will communicate God's revealed will for creation and for you and me too.  You'll hear there that He'll work out His will with or without you.  He reveals enjoyment for His creatures and the good plans He has for all humanity.  His Son, our Lord and Savior Jesus the Christ, has paid for our trespasses that kept us apart from our holy Creator.  We can live a life walking "righteously" with Him -  it's far better than the losing battle where we "try" to glorify, or protect, ourselves.   Yes, we can be brought close to Him through faith and trust in His great redeeming work - true peace, rest, security, and thankfulness can be ours. 

Just for today...

"I was surprised to find myself still grabbing for old fears as if I wanted to remain in crisis. I realized that I didn't know how to feel safe unless I was mentally busy. When I worried, I felt involved - and therefore somewhat in control."  Courage to Change (p. 248)

"Some of us, after long enduring misfortunes we didn't know how to cope with, reached a breaking point. In our hopelessness we even felt rejected by God, so we never thought of turning to Him for help."  One Day at a Time (p. 248)

"Do you take note when others are sick and offer them the same attention you crave? . . . Let it begin with me."  Hope for Today (p. 248)

"Not seen; Eye caught - We saw; Life taught."   Am I a Poet?

September 3rd - Why not enjoy other people as they are?

The story...

I sat down at the table with only one person sitting there.  It seemed rude to squeeze in with my friends when this guy was by himself.  He seemed uncomfortable, with me sitting with him, yet appreciated the company.  Another guy sat with us too.  Neither of them seemed to want to listen to my take on the questions and topics posed to the group - they've heard me freely express my thoughts, ideas and will before.  So, I focused on better understanding each of them without stepping out to share my own perspectives which I've refined over the years.  The conversation was smooth and balanced - everybody seemed to win.  Better lifestyle practices were worked out - less opinionating, pontificating or recommending.  It felt good for my behavior and intentions to be more aligned; yes, I seemed to be more true to me and to the group too.  

Can we actually care for others rather than merely "trying?"  It seems easy to do but I expect even our most focused efforts would be less fruitful, and take much longer, than imagined.  Might we "actually" love our neighbors as ourselves?

Teddy Roosevelt - A really good listener

The only church in town will be a place to develop meaningful relationships to walk more honestly through life with.  Most importantly, our relationship with "That in Which There is No Greater."

Just for today...

"I realized that there was little I could change about the situation. All I could change was my response to it."  Hope for Today (p. 247)

"What am I doing that creates difficulties for me or aggravates the ones I have? Could it be that I'm trying to fix everything by finding fault with somebody else?"  One Day at a Time (p. 247)

"Strive to be patient; bear with the faults and frailties of others, for you, too, have many faults which others have to bear. If you cannot mould yourself as you would wish, how can you expect other people to be entirely to your liking? For we require other people to be perfect, but do not correct our own faults." Tomas Kempis - The Imitation of Christ (Ch. 16)

"I'm a itchen; Change you must - I'd still itch; We'd distrust."   Am I a Poet?

September 2nd - Engage in community already - growing together is real good.

The story...

We rode our bicycles to Grand Haven and participated in the Coast Guard parade.  We seemed to fit in with our bike clothes as we squeezed along the parade route.  There were so... many people who seemed to've planned to feel and do good that day.  You could see and feel expectations of happiness with their decorations, sandwiches, red-white-blue clothes, and generally happy, gabby and cheering natures - throngs of like-minded people.  They were excited by the bands, small-floats, old-guys on small Cushman scooters, small lollipops, clowns, Coast Guard helicopters roaring overhead, and being together.  A woman threw me a stack of t-shirts that I passed out and wore - I felt engaged within community.  I'm reexperiencing some of the joy and happiness as I recall the event.  Thank you Grand Haven - ya done real good!

I expected good and received that good along with the unexpected too.  I might've worried about how I'd be accepted by the group - possibly marginalized, or reexperiencing prior feelings of rejection.  The 44-mile bike ride had it's associated risks yet we accepted them.  What if the people I went with didn't want to do or go according to my will?  No, I was fully engaged in the "now," within community, and my self-focused will was virtually locked up - chained and left with the bikes next to that big tree.

Why not risk letting down your guard and living a kinder and more engaging life?  Be among people, interact, learn, grow and experience the giving and receiving of love - together.  As for me and my house, the only church in town is the place where the good stuff of life's available - 52 weeks per year.

Just for today...

"If I am expectant of good, it will surely come to me. Even the grace of courtesy gives rich immediate rewards in response . . . Concern, love and kindness on my part will be reflected in everything that takes place in my life." One Day at a Time (p. 246)

"Reaction zone; This I wonder - Hyper over; Hypo under."
"Receive more; React less - Workin together; We're best."   Am I a Poet?

September 1st - Self-Care

The story...

Should I put on my favorite old t-shirt or that button-downed-collared shirt?  Why take a shower if no one will notice?  Why put the books back on the book shelf?  I'll probably need them tomorrow.  Why cut my hair?  It looks okay.  Why vacuum the carpet weekly?  Who notices the difference?  Why not eat and entertain ourselves the way that we normally do?  Why study the bible?  Netflix has programming designed to entertain, teach, and satisfy and it'll give us something to talk about.

Do I take good care of myself?  Am I worth taking good care of myself?  Do I take good care of myself for me or to appease others?  Is it okay to love yourself and enjoy your life?  These are good questions and they seem to fall under the heading of self-care.  

Do I practice self-care first to develop a sense of love and value for me?  Or, do I focus on understanding, valuing, and loving me to open up my will for practicing self-care?

The only church in town will spread the good news that God's provided the way for you to be loved and safe within the hands of God.  You're valued and can enjoy an everlasting relationship with God in Christ.  God even says that the same Holy Spirit who raised Christ from the dead will reside within you as evidence of your saving faith.  By His shed blood our sins are forgiven - we can be right with holy God.  His resurrection proves He's both God and has the power to resurrect you with an everlasting life and new body too.  Man, that's good news.  Take good care of yourself - you're truly worth it.

Just for today...

"When our problems enclose us and saturate our thoughts, we find ourselves in an insolation that gives us an acute sense of loneliness . . . Dwelling on our troubles only shuts out a world that is waiting to be enjoyed."  One Day at a Time (p. 245)

"Known to know; Felt to feel - Cared to care; Loved to love."   Am I a Poet?

August 31st - Are you looking for a friend or a pet?

The story...

Earlier in life, I had a difficult time maintaining friendships.  They took too much effort and I inevitably neglected the friendship - it'd sort of drift away.  I assumed that drifting and changing relationships were natural and sort of like the ebbs and flow of life.  I may've neglected them when they ceased to provide me what I wanted or the other person wasn't who I wanted them to be.  Maybe they disagreed with my opinions or had dissimilar interests.  We were different.  Was I looking for a friend or a pet?

Why didn't I tend to accept people as unique individuals and enjoy the differences?  Did I really need to have them agree with me in order for them and me to be okay together?  Were my behaviors learned from my family or did I develop them over time as a sort of personal protection?  I don't know why I behaved that way I did.  Today, I'm enjoying deeper relationships - relationships that may be characterized as mutually respectful, honest, growing, and walking together towards a common aim.

Good place to develop friendships.

The only church in town will be a "rich" field for growing fruitful relationships.  You'll find people to walk alongside as you work out purposeful lives together - fruit bearing lives - more meaningful and loving relationships.

Just for today...

"I will not expect too much; this will shield me from being annoyed at little things that don't go just the way I wanted them to."  One Day at a Time (p. 244)

"I have often tried to change other people to suit my own desires. I knew what I needed, and if those needs weren't met, the problem was with the other person. I was looking for somebody who would always be there but wouldn't impose on me very much. Looking back, It's almost as if I were looking for a pet rather than a human being."  Courage to Change (p. 244)

"Perhaps you should try believing that I believe."  Hope for Today (p. 244)

"Wanted a friend; Got a pet - In control; Faithlessly alone."   Am I a Poet?

August 30th - A pearl of wisdom: substitute "What if" with "Even if."

The story...

They asked me to participate in a group activity that was new to me - there was nothing particularly challenging or demanding on my part.  They didn't say what we'd actually be doing - they just said "give it a try, come along, it'll be fun."  How would it go?   I was a bit uneasy with the unknowns - there was no particular cause that I could put my finger on.  Maybe my discomfort came from my not knowing what to expect or subliminal fears of failure, rejection, or disrespect.

Who taught me to set expectations for future events and to evaluate them regarding how they either met or didn't meet my expectations?   Actually, a wise mentor helped me develop a practice of evaluating business' activities or projects - was it better, the same, or worse than I expected and why?  

"What if they treat me bad, what will I do?" may be substituted with "Even if they treat me bad, I'll be okay and true to who I am."  Setting "bad" expectations is different than expecting little and appreciating the good that's actually experienced - the former seems foolish and the later seems wiser.

The only church in town will offer opportunities to engage in the lives of other people within the body of Christ and the community at large too.  There the light of God's word can be learned - it shines on our hearts and activities to better see "what's going on."  What's going on includes sowing and reaping the good fruit of life.

Just for today...

"I will not expect too much; this will shield me from being annoyed at little things that don't go just the way I wanted them to."  One Day at a Time (p. 244)

"'Perhaps you could try believing that I believe,' I decided to to lean on _____ until I could develop some of my own."  Hope for Today (p. 244)

"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves and not to twist them to fit our own image."    No man is an Island, Thomas Merton

"You're interesting; As you are - We're bigger; O'er the bar."   Am I a Poet?

August 29th - Expect little and be thankful for what you receive or what?

The story...

I was asked to help mentor a young man within a mentoring group of eight guys and eight adults.  We performed fun games where there were a win-lose components.  The leader asked that each boy rate their performance on three dimensions.  The first was how they did internally - "was I positive and truly engaged on the inside?"  The second was how they did externally - "did I work well with the others during the game?"  And third - "what was the actual score?"  I was surprised how each of the students contemplated as they assessed each dimension of their performance - they all seemed to truly get it.

Many of my disappointments have come from expecting too much.  And, many of my life victories have occurred, in part, by planning for the best.  How do I reconcile this tension between the two?  It's like a tug-of-war with each side pulling - much tension.  Expect little or plan for the best and don't willingly accept failure?  Might we drop the rope and allow both to co-mingle and exist together.  Is life a win-lose battle in three dimensions: Internally, Externally, and the actual score?

Hope College: 119th annual Pull

I hope that the only church in town isn't a competitive environment where each and all are trying to win in the game of life.  One team pulling together against the other team(s)?  I hope not - this doesn't seem like the character of God as exhibited in the life of our Lord Jesus the Christ.  I expect that He plans for us to abide in Christ and bear fruit in all circumstances - together as the full-functioning Body of Christ - unity.  We need each other and for the Spirit of God to work out His will within each of us too.  We were created by God to be productive, enjoyed and loved too.

Just for today...

"How many of our frustrations and disappointments come from expecting too much! . . . Let me learn to settle for less than I wish were possible, and be willing to accept it and appreciate it. I will not expect too much of anyone, not even myself."  One Day at a Time (p. 242)

"Life can either be a burden and a chore or a challenge and a joy. One day at a time I can meet the challenges of life head-on instead of head-down."  Courage to Change (p. 242)

"I stopped trying to help her take care of herself, which also stopped the fights we had. I put the focus on myself, realizing that in my disease I didn't know where my mother ended and I began. Finding out who I was, apart from my mother, was my first challenge . . . Today my mother and I have an honest and loving relationship based on mutual respect for each other's boundaries. When we speak, I keep the focus on myself and share my experience, strength, and hope rather than telling her what to do."  Hope for Today (p. 242)

"See the grass; Bug and tree - Stars and Galaxies; Point to Thee."    Am I a Poet

August 28th - Who are you?

The story...

The following chorus is from The Who's song "Who Are You."

Well, who are you? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)

I really want to know (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)

Tell me who are you? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)

Because I really want to know (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)

A friend of mine surprisingly told me that they didn't grow up with likes or dislikes.  They didn't have a favorite color.  They hid in the shadows and got by - didn't feel valued. They're learning to know and care for who they are at a later stage of life.

My favorite: color was blue; number was 24; football team was the Iowa Hawkeyes; baseball team was the St. Louis Cardinals; olympic event(s) was the Decathlon; candy bar was the Butterfinger; and book was "Brighty of the Grand Canyon."

Bought my favorite book at Stuart School.

What will the only church in town preach regarding who you are?  You're a creature, created by God in His image for His glory - to praise Him and enjoy each other within a relationship based on faith in His revealed Word and great redemptive work.  The good news is that God provides the way for us, inherently selfish people, to walk humbly with God in Christ - through this life and throughout eternity too.  That's the best possible news - really good.  That's who I am!  With Him in Christ!

Just for today...

"As I grew up it seemed that my parents couldn't see me at all. I felt invisible and voiceless. I had no ideas of my likes and dislikes, let alone what I would or would not accept in a relationship. I felt empty inside."  Hope for Today (p. 241)

"Say and do; Pain ensue - Lonely drifter; Garner few."
"Creator planned; You and me - Life lit; We see!"
"Abide now; Hope and joy- His power; Real good boy."     Am I a Poet?

August 27th - DETATCHMENT

The story...

It was a hard and long process for me to form boy-girl relationships and they were even harder and longer to end.  Maybe I was expecting a level of love and attachment that wasn't reasonable or good for either of us.  How did I set expectations for my "true love" relationship?  I don't know the answer.  It's possible that they were good for an ideal world; yet, this world, and the people who work out their lives here, aren't ideal.

Do I need your help and approval in order to be okay?  If I say yes, then my level of "okayness" is tied to your "okayness" with both you and me - ugh.  If I say no, then I have the possibility of being okay with me and freeing you to be okay too.  Might we offer others the freedom and dignity to live out their own lives?

A helpful model came to me from Donald Miller's book "Scary Close," (pp. 206,207).  He illustrates a relationship with three floor pillows: my pillow, our relationship pillow, and your pillow.  The only person who steps on your pillow is you - your soul - same for my pillow.  Both of you can step on the middle pillow because you agreed to be in a relationship.

"Codependency happens when too much of your sense of validation or security comes from somebody else . . . What goes on in the other person's soul is none of your business. All you're responsible for is your soul, nobody else's. Regarding the middle pillow, the question is, 'What do I want in a relationship?' . . . What's going on in other people's minds is none of your business."

"Scary Close." My original reader notes

What would the only church in town look like if they focused on: the gospel; spirit/Spirit relationships; learning and living together; and not on changing other people's minds?  Might they actually work out their own  right relationship with God, in Christ, versus attempting to change other's minds related to the theology that "we" believe in?

Just for today...

"I wasn't really admitting my powerlessness or I wouldn't keep trying to control everyone or everything around me . . . Not my will but Your will."  Courage to Change (p. 240)

"...my skill in detaching rested on my ability to accept my own thoughts and feelings and to become comfortable with myself . . . Because my fate - my very life - was no longer tied directly to theirs, I was able to accept them for who they were and to listen to their ideas and concerns without trying to exercise control."  Hope for Today (p. 240)

"We are free to refuse to be hurt by a spiteful remark or malicious action. So the whole matter really rests with us. The choice of accepting or rejecting an offense is ours alone . . . What can words do to me unless I take them to heart?"  One Day at a Time (p. 240)

"Body buried; spirit raised - The key; We or me?"    Am I a Poet?

August 26th - W.A.I.T. - Why Am I Talking?

The story...

I mentored a young man whose shoe size was the same as mine - we were matched as part of a summer program.  After we knew each other better, we also learned that we both liked to be quiet.  For our game and fellowship time our team name was "Quiet Big Shoes."  The mentoring program questions were normally met by his silence which I learned to respect.  He did ponder them although I doubted that he even heard them at first.  Our quietness seemed to respect his right to personal boundaries and the dignity to be as he was.  Our "attitudes" seemed to be part of a closer relationship that influenced both of us.  We began to like each other and more freely engage our hearts and minds.

When facilitating brain-storming idea creation exercises, I learned that the best ideas seemed to come after the barrage of quick ideas were over.  There was the interim quiet time where each member of the group seemed to quiet their minds and more comfortably search beyond the limits of their normal operational thinking patterns.  That's the place where the good ideas and new learnings seem to pop up into the light of...   I want to live in that place more often.  A similar process seems to occur by myself; with a good friend; with a friendly group; with not so friendly groups; and within community too.

The only church in town will never be bent according to my will.  My will will be secondary no matter how much dust I kick up trying to convince others that my vision of the "best" or "ideal" is right for us.  What a great thing to be quiet within relationships - growing and walking honestly and humbly together.

Oh... what a joy to be rightly related to God in Christ.  Within my prayers I give praise, thanks, asks, quietly listen, and meditate on a truth that God spoke - I mostly just be.  Sometimes I fall asleep within a veiled spirit-to-Sprit connection.  Our relationship is mysterious, wonderful, and God powered.  He knows what's in a man's heart and scripture says the Spirit of Christ indwells those who are His.

Just for today...

W.AI.T.:   W: Why     A: Am      I: I      T: Talking?

"Clearly still; Acutely crisp - Word of God; True bliss."   Am I a Poet?

August 25th - I do need my personal boundaries...

The story...

My friend sits across the restaurant table.  They shared a fact, from a few years ago, that seemed to shine a different light on an unresolved, less than comfortable, situation.  The fact seemed like it might help me to reconcile a relationship barrier and the need for my associated "personal boundaries."  I resisted the urge to probe further and quietly listened to my friend.  No, the fact did not resolve the root causes for my personal boundary; yet, the knowledge did shine more light on the situation.  I'm glad that I didn't rush to pick up and remove the boundaries with hopes that all is well - it wasn't and that's okay.  We do live in an imperfect, and fallen, world that is staffed by selfish-self-justifying people like I'm capable of being.  Boundaries have been necessary but I've moved them, and sometimes removed them, as circumstances and people changed.

I've a few close friends, many casual friends and a good sized network.  I've numerous acquaintances including a few who don't seem to have my best interest at heart.  Those who've acted in ways that demonstrate that they don't have my best interest at heart are outside my boundaries.  They have their reasons for resisting, maligning, or influencing others to agree with them - they likely believe their opinions and rationally justify their stance.  It's not my job or right to try to change their opinions or behaviors; yet, I don't have to endure the relationship strain either.  Yes, boundaries can be helpful.

Will you need boundaries within the only church in town?  Regretfully yes, even those who are rightly related to God, in Christ, retain their sin nature and their ego may clash with others.  I hope that most of our relationships would exhibit a level of respect commensurate with the grace and mercy that we've been gifted in Christ.  We're all a work in progress who need community to live better lives.

Just for today...

"Quietness is a great ally, my friend. As long as I keep my poise, I will do nothing to make matters worse."  One Day at a Time (p. 238)

"... I am learning to play a new instrument - myself. I am a person with the capability to experience a wide range of emotions, from love to joy to wonder . . .  just to be alive is a great thing."  Courage to Change (p. 238)

"Listen and feel; Reacting less - Okay in Christ; Securely blest."
"You're not okay; Hurt us all - Boundary set; Not gonna fall."     Am I a Poet?

August 24th - "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore."

The story...

It's my senior year of high school, I'm sitting with two friends in study hall during the last hour of the day,  I realize that she and he want to be together without me - a boundary set up with me on the outside.  It hurt knowing that she chose him over me.  The study-hall monitor says my name for the attendance check - I say "here," then immediately stand up and walk out of school early.  I gave up and treated that monitor with no respect - forcing her into a situation to either report or forgive my behavior - she didn't report me.

When is too much too much?  Is playing it safe in an unsafe world futile?  What level of dignity and personal rights do we deserve?  Are we all worthy of being loved?  Who judges the value of a human life?  Is it worth the effort to live a good life?  Does anybody know what a good life looks like?  If we could agree on what a good life looks like, is anyone capable of actually living one out?

It pushes me to the edge of angry when I witness people hurt other people in an attempt to "bend" reality to satiate their appetites to control like "little gods."  Little gods don't seem to be satisfied with living out their own fantasy, they want others to acknowledge, accept, and celebrate their illusions of self-grandeur.  A never-ending quest to collect medals, evidence, and the approval they crave.  I assume they're not okay with who they actually are.

Network (1976)

Sure, people will get angry within the only church in town when their personal boundaries are violated. When their needs and wants aren't met for too long.  When they see the ways of the world worked out and flaunted.  When particular people are admired, celebrated, and sought out for approval.  Yet when people are finally broken, give up trying to be good, stop seeking the approval of others, or get mad as hell and decide not to take it anymore; then, the clarity of the "good news," the message of "grace," shines like the brightest light illuminating "what's going on."  Oh that they might witness God's great saving and freeing work in Christ.  Praise God that it's by grace that I rightly stand with God in Christ. 

It was for freedom that Christ set us free (Galatians 5:1).

Just for today...

"I am human and I get angry, but I don't have to act out my anger in destructive ways . . . Whether my usual response is to scream, sulk in cold silence, or lash out with cruel words, today I can look at what I do when I get mad."  Courage to Change (p. 237)

"What of this?; God's secure  - Even if' that; We endure."  Am I a Poet?

August 23rd - Wait . . . there is something wrong with them . . . they might need help?

The story...

Along with other retired people, I sometimes drive around town on weekdays between 10am and 11am.  Some days, I forget and become frustrated with slow and unexpected driving maneuvers.  The feelings drive me to say, in my mind, something like: "Is there something wrong with you?"  Strangely, that's the first part of a better more heartfelt question:  "Is there something wrong with you, and how might I help and love on ya neighbor?"

We know that everybody has strengths and weaknesses.  Even the most saintly servant of God has a sin nature that motivates them to make sub-optimal, self-satisfying, decisions and maneuvers.  Some aren't capable or ready to do better and they need our help.

The only church in town will honestly preach the reality of our life in Christ - right and safe with God in Christ.  Lasting peace and purpose will be found there amidst life's circumstances.  They need you there and you might just be loved there too.

A good friend suffered here alone; yet, he wasn't alone.

Just for today...

"I developed a tremendous fear of making mistakes. It seemed crucial to cover every possible outcome, because mistakes often led to an avalanche of accusations and abuse from . . . and eventually from myself . . . When I stop struggling to be perfect and admit when I am wrong, I can let go of my guilt and shame."  Courage to Change (p. 236)

"What if that?; They'll surely say... - I'll be hurt; Please stay away."
"Won't make errors; Don't be bad! - Pretending helps; Often sad."
"Okay in Christ; Hearts a'lift - God's got this; Even if!"    Am I a Poet?

August 22nd - Live an honest, hopeful, joyful, and peaceful life?

The story...

What a joy to spend a couple of hours with a good friend sharing life together - the time investment always seem fruitful.  Good friends share common: stories, reference points, sense of safety, and knowledge that the other has their better interest at heart.  They're fellow sojourners who're truly willing and able to understand and grow together.  I'm so thankful for my good friends... 

It seems that all of my most probing meaning-of-life discussions have drilled down to a most important directive that God has revealed:  "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and strength.  And, love your neighbor as yourself."  So, why not just go out and love God, love yourself, and, from these strengths and power, love your neighbors too?  Well, it's because it's not within our constitution, will, and power do so.  Yet people try hard to be a better version of themselves and even fund a never-ending series of self-help books to help them try.  Self-improvement efforts likely end up trying to bend reality to suit our will with us acting as a sort of pathetic little "god."  A little god may imagine their attributes to be far greater than they are and find pleasure in thinking that all others want to be more like them.  They often spew out "advice" and direction as to how others might be reworked into their own self-image of perfection.  UGH...

So, how might we take the first step of loving God when our sin is abhorrent to, and incompatible with, a relationship with Him?  We might will an imaginary idea of God who is compatible with our life code and experiences; yet, there's no real power in that.  We could listen to the good news, the gospel, that God has done all the work of removing our relationship sin barrier through His own great work in Christ.  Simply trust in God's great work and walk through life in His light of truth where reality and sin are illuminated for what they are.  Why not walk the path of living a more honest, humble, hopeful, joyful, and peaceful life in Christ?  Romans 15:13  Not following the path by doubting the possibility is _ _ _ _ _ _!

The good news of the gospel would be the common theme of every meeting within the only church in town.  People would hear the good news and the life testimonies of real people.  Close friends will likely be found there too - those whom you are capable of walking side-by-side won your common journey to the celestial city.  I hope that you'll join me in praising God in Christ and resting in thankfulness, peace, and the power of God almighty.  

Why not "listen" to Paul's letter to the people in Colossae called Colossians where He explains our condition in Christ and how to be - takes about 15 minutes.  There's great value in "listening" to the full letter to better understand the full intended message.

Just for today...

"Yet what do I do with the thorns of resentment and hatred when they pierce my thoughts? Do I leave them there and watch them grow, while I suffer increasingly from the pain?"  One Day at a Time (p. 235)

"I wanted to know how to become an adult with sound values, self-respect, and self-esteem. I sought this lesson from everybody - my parents, employers, spouses, children, friends etc.  - everybody but God and myself . . . I had to stop sabotaging myself by looking on the outside for something that exists only within."   Hope for Today (p. 235)

"He loved me; Loved Him too - He's in me; Wants you too."      Am I a Poet?

August 21st - Ain't that good news?

The story...

I've rebelled against being controlled, against my will, throughout my life.  The message of the grace of God was such welcome news to my ears.  It rang true and the resulting relationships have proved worthy within life's actualities.  Living rightly with God allows us to live in the present where real life and God has been and will be - the most adventurous and satisfying place to be.

My wife rode her bike across Iowa in the July-2023 RAGBRAI tour.  Her trip disrupted my normal routines and patterns; so I planned daily activities to stay busy.  Was there a better way?  Surely, I didn't want to merely be more active.  More importantly, I wanted to live in a present awareness walking more closely with God.  That included walking alongside other co-sojourners too.

"It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery." Gal. 5:1 (NASB)   Might I drift back into the world of ongoing attempts of self development, justification, and glorification?  I trust that God will not allow me to stray that far.  Yet, it makes sense to pray for power against temptations to revert back to that self-serving-tyrant task master - self.

The only church in town will preach the good news - the gospel.  God proclaimed everyone can be rightly related to our most Holy, loving, and just Creator by the great work that He has performed in Christ.  Man - that's good news!

The Gospel - Ain't that good news?

Just for today...

"If I believe that it is hopeless to expect any improvement in my life, I am doubting the power of God . . . Never let me imagine that my satisfaction with life depends on what someone else may do."  One Day at a Time (p. 234)

"In my family, my parents were always telling me what to do. My response was usually angry compliance or rebellious refusal. Either way, I was reacting, not acting, and feeling controlled."  Hope for Today (p. 234)

"Forty days broken; Vine dresser pruned - Peacefully abided; Hope loomed."
"Emerged trusting; Him Who can - Loved me through; A better man."   Am I a Poet?

August 20th - The Coach and the Whiner

The story...

He pondered my question and replied with a coach's honest, and most practical, reply.  My question: "How did you know if one of your football players was really hurt?"  He said: "It's easy, the whiners aren't hurt and the non-whiners are."  I've shared that story with 100's of other people.

Have I lived too much of my life as a whiner?  I don't think so yet I have.  I've had countless: scrapes, cuts, sprains, bruises, aches, head aches, loss of capability, financial losses, out-of-normal test results, missed job opportunities, and "no" answers.  Yet, the sun came up and shined light on a new day.  The darkness was illuminated and shown to be much better than I imagined.

I'm the old guy now who has more time and opportunities to listen, understand, and throw a ray of light, albeit somewhat dim, on other life journeys.  Do I have to be "mister right," the "wise owl," or the "great coach?"  No, it seems better to listen to understand, let'em know they're loved, shine real light on their darkness, and honestly/humbly walk side-by-side as a fellow life traveler.

"Footprints in the Sand" - A Most Wonderful Poem

How about taking a risk and attending the only church in town this week?  There you'll find light that can help you make sense of your darkness and fellow travelers who you might walk side-by-side with towards...

Just for today...

"Teach me to think straight, and not to take offense at criticism which is meant as loving guidance."  One Day at a Time (p. 233)

"...turning to emotionally unavailable people for support, and engaging in self-doubt and hate . . . I now see that these and other traits, not other people, are the source of my anguish." Hope for Today (p. 233)

"When I begin to accept myself exactly as I am, life will feel a lot more gentle."  Courage to Change (p. 233)

"Lost an alone; Coach me please - Don't know how; Carpe-diem seize."
"God loves me; This you say - Believe His Word; Truly love today."    Am I a Poet?

August 19th - Hang onto relationships loosely

The story...

It's best to hold a tennis racket and handlebars loosely - gripping too tightly over corrects and can take us where we don't wanna go quickly.  My first rides on my KLR in deep sand were out of control and scary.  What I learned about riding motorcycles in deep sand seems to apply to life too.

• Don't sit down - stay balanced on your feet
• Relax your mind and your body will follow - fight the urge to grip too hard
• Do your steering through your feet weighting the pegs.
• Maintain momentum - consistent throttle control
• When done right, it's like a dance - joyful.

If I look back twenty years, most of the people, places and things have changed.  They'd have changed no matter how hard I tried to keep them the way I thought best.  If I wouldn't have been open to new people, places, things, and ideas - Id have missed out on much of the joy of life.

I'm learning to hold onto relationships less tightly - they change and are best when freely offered and accepted.  Sometimes what I thought I wanted was not what they could actually give or accept. "Stay balanced and let them be."  They may choose to dance a similar dance as you yet not with you - that's okay.  Let them live their own life and enjoy the few close dance partners that you do have - be willing to let them go and be open to new ones too.

The only church in town will be a good place to develop life-giving relationships.  Hopefully, the relationships will be characterized as freely offered, graceful, forgiving, and changing too.  Your relationship with God, through faith in Christ, is obviously the most important.  He's the foundation for the best relationships - those dances that're part of a joyful life lived out in ever-changing circumstances.

Just for today...

"Imagine bad; Anxious worrying - Be anew; God faith."   Am I a Poet?

August 18th - Keeping busy or living peacefully?

The story...

My significant other went away for eight days.  Why did I have this need to plan activities to keep me busy?  Did this need suggest that my life wasn't peaceful?  Was my life structured around a pattern of habits that'd be disrupted without my girl?  Did I need a series of planned activities to validate my sense of self worth?  Do want to be okay rather than behave in ways that allows me to imagine that I'm okay?

What does a good day look like for me?  Maybe it's hard to live out the better reality without a purposeful plan or pattern.  Its a little uncomfortable to actually write out.  Isn't that a blog goal?  Okay, the following is my generic plan for living out a peaceful and fruit bearing day - limited to 15:

1. Wake naturally from restful sleep
2. Do a few things that I look forward to
3. Pray, meditate and listen
4. Reflect and clarify within my blog
5. Interim fast while drinking plenty of water
6. Reach out to at least one friend
7. Exercise in nature and community
8. Be kind to those I meet - risk loving and being loved
9. Invest one hour managing my household and finances
10. Enjoy lunch
11. Do or learn something new
12. Keep opinions to myself and challenge their validity
13. Serve somehow, somewhere - engage in community
14. Seek to understand before being understood
15. Listen to God's revealed Word and fall asleep being loved

Having completed and reflected on this list, I've less of a need to fill up my days with planned activities.  I certainly would rather live in the present, be receptive to spirit/Spirit realities, trust God rather than myself, and enjoy walking within the will of God - our wills lining up.  I experienced a season closer to  this good life while suffering for 40 days in a sling following rotator-cuff surgery.

The only church in town will be a place built to facilitate a more honest life lived out in the actualities, or circumstances, of life and Sprit-to-spirit reality.   Maybe there we will feel free to pass the peace sign on to each other while listening to the Word of God. ☮

Just for today...

"Today I make a commitment to be honest with myself. By facing reality, I become someone I can depend upon."  Courage to Change (p. 232)

"It is easy, terribly easy, to shake a man's faith in himself. To take advantage of that, to break a man's spirit, is devil's work."  (G.B. Shaw: Candida)

"Each painted; Wonderfully unique - God's presence; Tad oblique."    Am I a Poet?

August 17th - Our personality, a collection of habits with a few go-tos?

The story...

Being an storyteller helped me garner the interest of other people.  I learned how to select the topic, grab their attention, inflect my voice, include humor, add color, keep the pace, and wow them with the finish. The habit may've started at our family dinner table - what worked there seems to have adapted and worked out into my personality.  I took my storyteller persona wherever I went.

A good story teller isn't smarter, taller or better looking.  They don't play better basketball or trumpets.  And, they certainly aren't natural listeners or empathizers.  Sure, there were times that I "flexed" my style and was surprised at how good it felt to be a more whole person.  Then, I'd get hurt, withdrawal, heal alone, and return to telling my stories. 

The college-bar scene seemed to be a most wonderful place for me.  Storytellers are valued and relationship development seemed easy - most people are happy to see you enter the room.  When relationships toughened, I moved on to a different group and place.  Yet, too much led to . . . and dysfunctional relationships.  Some of my friends couldn't balance learning and debauchery too - they dropped out of the race - the game.  

The textbook author advised me - he did the best he could.

In my super-senior year, when the college stuff was no longer new and full of possibilities, I listened to a football player who told me about what he heard within a group called: Fellowship of Christian Athletes.  I was surprised by his declaration of Christian principles worked out in the reality of his life - he was surprised at the life change too.  Then Steve and Marlene invited me to attend their campus church - they were the first people that I recalled earnestly inviting me to a church.  It "felt" right - I wondered how my college experience might have been different if...

It would be easier to invite people to the only church in town - it'd be the only option.  Please, earnestly invite somebody to church already.  If invited, experience the potential good.  It's so... good to be free from the tyrannical rule of self and be a functional member within the body of Christ.  Galatians (5:1)

Just for today...

"Many of us develop clever methods of surviving in . . . situation, such as denial or secrecy . . . What once allowed us to function in a nearly impossible situation is now an obstacle for further growth . . . Sometimes we must accept ourselves, defects and all, before those defects are removed."  Courage to Change (p. 230)

"Today I'll stop minding other people's business and create some business of my own to mind." Hope for Today (p. 230)

"Like 'em all; How'd it be? - Christ-body truth; Love in me."   Am I a Poet?

August 16th - Are close relationships worth it?

The story...

When was I suppose to learn about the value of, and processes for, developing relationships?  I greatly valued my family but close relationships didn't happen there - I remained guarded and protected from each of 'em.  Didn't happen within grade school were I learned we were all different.  The neighborhood friends lasted a few years yet weren't very close.  Boy Scouts offered opportunities yet seemed to focus on activities, achievement and rewards.  They didn't happen at my local church - I assumed that the right people just weren't there.  I found closer relationships among band members and lunch-time friends yet they were situational and not very deep.  I didn't have the close boy-girl friendship in high school that some found.  The closer relationships that I developed during my college years were really important to me - I learned much about me and others there.  My hopes were set on that close relationship that I'd have with my future spouse - I looked forward to meeting her and growing our close relationship together.  

I'm so thankful for my relationship with my life partner.  We've grown much over the years while working out a right relationship as seen under the truth of God's bright Word.

Deer relationships - need each other?

Might the relationships we desire, to help us live a more full and satisfying life, be found within the only church in town?  You've had relationships with many people throughout your life; yet, those within a church will likely be somewhat different. There will be opportunities for: Casual friends who reflect community diversity and principles;  Close friends who you may walk side-by-side with toward the common goal;  Or, maybe a growing and deeper relationship with a spouse.  I hope that you'd find your most satisfying and lasting relationship between you and your Creator - spirit to Spirit.

Just for today...

Were you looking for someone who meets your needs but expects little of you?  Maybe you were looking for a pet or a dog?

"Lookin fer love; Pets can't give -Distractedly shallow; Left lonely."
"Body of Christ; God among us - Abounding love; Forever now."   Am I a Poet?

August 15th - Can you understand your psyche with your mind?

The story...

One night in 2023, I experienced death in a dream - I didn't remember this occurring before. The scenario, I'm riding on my cruiser motorcycle and enter into a tunnel entrance ramp onto I80.  I take a lane that ends up to be a dirt path with construction all around.  There is no way back to the lane of vehicles that are speeding along their way.  I stop due to a big ditch in front of me where other motorcycle riders are attempting to climb out to get back onto I80.  I switch lanes to the left, looking for an easier path, and notice a huge tunnel-digging machine emerging from a tunnel, under construction, behind me.  I pause and it runs over me - I feel nothing.  My mind looked for the feelings of death pains and wondered if I was dead.  It took a few seconds to remember that this was a dream and not reality. "Yes, I 'm still dreaming."  I woke up in a sort of curious state - did that vivid, participatory, dream mean something?  Do I have a latent fear that's operating behind the scene within my psyche?

Seignac, Guillaume - Cupid and Psyche

Who can understand a man's mind, soul and spirit?  God said that a man doesn't even understand his own heart.  Should I try to understand my own psyche with my own mind?  Is that even reasonable?

It's a good thing to trust God's word and bear fruit in peace.  Yes, God's Word does offer the way towards peace, in the present, within the varying circumstances of life.  Praise God for how He loves His creatures.

The only church in town will preach God's revealed Word.  The people will hear about who He is, what He plans for us His creatures, and how to live a good-to-great life within His will - our wills connected.  The creature's part is to trust His Word and His provision for those who are His, His in Christ.

Just for today...

"Fear is the energy that activates my character defects. Sometimes my shortcomings lie dormant like a bumper car ride with the electricity turned off, and I don't even notice them."  Hope for Today (p. 228)

"How important is it? . . . I find what I might have viewed as a disaster is really insignificant . . . I can take my disappointment or irritation at face value and refuse to dramatize it."  Courage to Change (p. 228)

"Many of our frustrations come from not making the most of ourselves and getting out of life what it has to give, ready and waiting for us to accept."  One Day at a Time (p. 228)

"Twas right there; Ready for pickin - Didn't believe; Felt sickin."   Am I a Poet?

August 14th - The journey - take the first step, or pedal, together.

The story...

My best friend and I rode our bicycles, round trip, between Muskegon, MI and just past Mears, MI, in 2023 - 71 miles.  She was training for a bike tour across Iowa and I'd ridden about 40 miles YTD.  If you want to experience a break from your routine, beauty, wonder, new feelings, a strong sense of accomplishment, and inevitable aching, then why not oil up your bike and get started?  Plan for it, do it, and enjoy it with others who are "like minded."

1. Miles 1 thru 10:  Wow, how fast I can go - yes I'll commit to the full ride.
2. Miles 11 thru 20: We can stop there on the way home - that's something to look forward to.
3. Miles 21 thru 30: I am so thankful for today - it's perfect.
4. Miles 31 thru 40: I wasn't prepared - I'm beginning to suffer more than she is - a head wind.
5. Miles 41 thru 50:  I need to stop but keep going - the dairy creamery was soo... good.
6. Miles 51 thru 60:  My head's down, trying to be efficient - average speed drops - suffering.
7. Miles 61 thru 70: I'm almost home - now I have the faith that I'll make it.
8. Last mile:  So thankful and happy - maybe a touch of joy?

It felt so good to complete the trip.  The finish point was close to a favorite pizza place - Bernie O's. Sharing a large "Twist" pizza together was great. My Apple watch congratulated me with all kinds of awards for completing the 5.5 hour trek.  I was dehydrated and it took hours to begin to feel normal again.  Yet, I was better off having completed the trek with my best friend.  There were tons of reasons for joy and happiness.  What a joy it is to be alive.

The only church in town will offer opportunities for long journeys amongst friends and fellow travelers within the Body of Christ.  A place where the will of God may be worked out both together and more completely.

Just for today...

"Working in unity for a common purpose does more than strengthen both partners individually. It draws them together." One Day at a Time (p. 227)

"Sometimes I need to feel the feelings and then act anyway." Courage to Change (p. 227)

"I tell myself that just as thinking doesn't make it so, neither does feeling make it so. My life is going to work out according to God's will regardless of how I feel, so why try to manipulate situations to avoid the unavoidable - human emotions?"  Hope for Today (p. 227)

"Listen to 'em; Go along - We're a movin; Singin the song."   Am I a Poet?

August 13th - Good-to-great life story

The story...

This is my favorite day of the year, it's the birthday of my life partner.  I find great joy in celebrating her and her life - we've both come far together.  I truly love her and am soo... thankful for our marriage relationship.  We've learned and loved much together.

The elements of a good story - Donald Miller

The only church in town well love telling and retelling the greatest story ever told.  The Son of Man and Creator who walked this earth and disclosed much of Himself to His creation.  They will celebrate His birth, death, resurrection, and provision for all who believe His Gospel truth.

Just for today...

"...examine all the things that are hurting me at the moment.  I will challenge their validity to see if there is any basis for my bitterness - or for that dread and fear. I'll probably discover, to my delight, that I have, right at this moment, more than enough reasons to be happy and contented."  One Day at a Time (p. 226)

"Have I put someone on a pedestal? Am I encouraging anyone to have an exaggerated view of me?"  Courage for Change (p. 226)

"I was still clinging to the notion that Something - in this case a sum of money - was going to allow me to manage my life in my own way and on my terms . . .  When I rely on self-will, I severely limit all of my resources.  When I turn to God, those limitations fall away."  Hope for Today (p. 226)

"You got stuff; You got power - Alone and smug; Pretentious flower."
"We need we; You resist - Dying alone; Just subsist."
"God's creature; Trusts His flow - Begins anew; Light aglow."   Am I a Poet?