September 30th - Imagining what God said or what I might worry into existence?

The story...

I read and silently sang songs from a "Young Life" song book this morning.  It was a wonderful imaginary trip into past experiences, feelings, and with glimpses of what might be down the road.

Maybe I imagined more when I was young - before the reality of the middle chapters of life were written.  The future was unknown then; yet, I question how much I do know of what actually happened in the past that I partially experienced.  There was a lot that I didn't see, much that I ignored, and certainly spiritual realities that weren't meant for my eyes.

I can only imagine

The only church in town will work out life within community - one that trusts God.  A community that's enlightened by the Word of God.  While imagining realities that are only partially witnessed, we're able to experience enough with glimpses of so much more.  "I can only imagine..."

Just for today...

"This day is all I have to work with. The past is over and tomorrow is out of reach."  Courage to Change (p. 274)

Worrying is using your imagination to create a future you don't want.

September 29th - A listening experiment

The story...

I will to listen better today.  Yes, I plan on running and experiment today - I intend to fully listen to others to better understand them and to apply what I learn to me and my life.  I wonder if I can both make it through a whole day and if I can actually maintain an interest in others.  Of course that means I must put myself out there in the presence of other people and engage in conversation too.  I can do this experiment yet will I?  Do I need to remind myself?  I'm turning off the computer now so that the experiment might begin.

Later that morning I received some news that changed my experiment.   I expect that I was kind and listened well yet that wasn't my focus.  The trivial was forgotten in light of the new news that focused my attention.  I couldn't help but listen to the reality of life - my ears were wide open.

People living together within the only church in town will have fewer opportunities to drift off into an imaginary reality due to the light of God's Word shining on the realities of each our lives.  Yes, this is a place where there are things that you will want to listen to - the truth about Him, us, and the future.  Do you want to be with or without Him - "listen up."

Just for today...

"What I learn from negative comments can be useful in opening my mind to my own wrong thinking."  One Day at a Time (p. 273)

"It is the disease of not listening . . . that I am troubled with."  William Shakespeare

September 28th - What might I have learned if I was a monk?

The story...

I read a quote from Thomas Merton's book and must have been surprised - it rang true to my previous learnings, knowledge, experiences, and possibly my spirit too.  I suspected these things were true yet I hadn't put the pieces together before.  "No Man Is an Island," was one, if not the most, impactful book on my life journey.  Thomas seems to have put the important pieces of life together.  He wrote the book before I was born.  I'm so thankful that he shared his life walk with God in a way that I could receive, understand, apply to me, and begin to live out more fully too.

I read another book that summarized Merton's life up to the point when he entered the life of a monk in central Indiana.  I hope that we all seek to better understand who we are as we work out our life story.  Seems like part of a good life sharing and growing along with fellow sojourners.  I expect that we will learn that we need each other.

The only church in town will be a place where we can meet others who want to work out their life in the reality of God's revealed Word.  We can share our lives together and become a more complete whole -  a community.

Just for today...

"... when we are strong we are always much greater than the things that happen to us, and the soul of a man who has found himself is like a deep sea in which there may be many fish: but they never come up out of the sea, and not one of them is big enough to trouble its placid surface. His "being" is far greater than anything he feels or does."  

"The deep secrecy of my own being is often hidden from me by my own estimate of what I am. My idea of what I am is falsified by my admiration for what I do . . . We all seek to imitate one another's imagined greatness.  If I do not know who I am, it is because I think I am the sort of person everyone around me wants to be."

Thomas Merton, No Man Is an Island (p. 125)

September 27th - The virus story worked out - wasn't worth fretting over

The story...

I've had virus symptoms for 2.5 weeks.  I'll call my doctor this morning since I've passed the two-week limit.  He likely will not be able to identify the virus - he might prescribe an anti-viral drug to boost my immune system.  I don't like my condition and I've only a basic understanding of immune systems.  So after acknowledging that last sentence, I listened to three YouTube introductory videos on the immune system.  I learned some of the principals that help me appreciate my body even more and to identify some of my behaviors and misunderstandings that may have hindered me.

He listened to my symptoms and physically inspected me - he had an intern with him too who repeated some of the checks.  He asked for two blood test samples to be taken to both check my immune system and to search for wasted muscle - he has an idea of what it might be yet didn't tell me.  I was able to have my blood samples taken at 3:30pm 9/01/2023.

It's 9/05/2023 and I'm hoping to get the results of my blood test this morning.  These data will help my doctor prescribe a course of action to better my body and the life I live through it.  I have speculated much over the last three days.  I know in part yet I'll likely know much more in a few hours.

The virus continued on, I visited my primary physician once again and he asked for more blood tests.  The type of virus was never really known. I began to feel better after five weeks and am now symptom free.

Suffering will be found in the only church in town yet, it won't be their focus.  They'll focus on the truth of God's good news and the blessings that are found by living out each day in the "Light" of day.

Just for today...

"If my life has become unmanageable, how can I get control of it? Am I being forced into doing things I don't want to do, like losing my temper, contriving, conniving and scheming to make things work out the way I want them?"  One Day at a Time (p. 271)

"If thou canst not make thyself such a one as thou wouldst, how canst thou expect to have another according to thy liking?"  Thomas Kempis - The Imitation of Christ

"If I knew what was coming, I suspect that I would spend all my time trying to run from painful experiences instead of living. I would miss out on so much great stuff." Courage to Change (p. 271)

September 26th - There's me, our relationship, and you - me is me, we are we, and you are you.

The story...

We were sitting on the porch talking about two mutual friends.  One of that pair of friends had delivered clear feedback to the other and even set up a new personal boundary in order to protect their friendship. My friend commented that friends do give specific personal feedback when they have to: "that's what friends do."  The next day I delivered specific personal feedback to that same friend - they reacted negatively and defensively - it was difficult to deliver the one-time feedback in a way that was received let alone acknowledged.  The exchange was difficult, uncomfortable; yet, I think it worked out for the best.

Maybe good friends tell their friend their perceived truth once  - not nagging or trying to persuade.  Should friends focus on the relationship and not on reforming or reframing each others minds or souls?  I think my friends have the space to share their mind and soul, as they will to, yet we respect each other's "space."  I'm okay with my friends just as they are - that's a strong foundation to build on and to grow too.  We grow together.

The only church in town would be a place where people might find truer friends who they can grow together with.  Everyone would have at least one "good" friend to walk side by side with along their journey towards that celestial city.

Just for today...

"Smugness is the very worst sin of all, I believe. It is difficult for a shaft of light to pierce the armor of self-righteousness. Many of the things I thought I did unselfishly turned out to be pure rationalizations to get my own way about something."  One Day at a Time (p. 270)

"At our wedding ceremony, the minister said, '... and the two shall become one,' and we did, 'We' became 'him.'"  Hope for Today (p. 270)

September 25th - What lasts?

The story...

Fifty-seven years later, I still have a coloring project that I made in third grade.  I colored, many colors, all over a piece of crepe paper and covered the whole thing in black - I scraped off the black to make an image of a horse. I still have a few pieces of clothing that I owned before I was married.  The house that I grew up in still exists even though it's eroded to a shadow of what I once believed it to be.  I worked at a manufacturing organization for over 20 years and must've created and signed thousands of documents - It's likely that those document are all either replaced, deleted, or at best archived. It's true that nothing stays the same and that there'll likely be little evidence that we ever existed in the not too distant future.

Martin Luther has a famous quote that I value: "I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God's hands, that I still possess."   My hands are touching a keyboard as I type - it's a helpful tool that allows me to create, understand, be, and communicate; yet, that too will go away some day.  

I actually painted this...

He's got the whole world in His hands.  He will work His will out with our without you.  Why not trust Him and bear the fruit that only He can give - it's the stuff that'll last.

The only church in town will teach how to trust God according to what He's revealed about Himself, our relationship, what He expects within our relationship, and the most significant future events that'll impact us and our world too.  We can trust Him with our problems, concerns, and the people whom we love.

Just for today...

"My parents are due to visit. Nothing promotes my relapse into compulsive, controlling behavior better than the anticipation of their judgement . . . Each time I doubt that my God knows the way, I'll remember how chaotic and complicated my life becomes when I try to take control."  Hope for Today (p. 269)

September 24th - Being emotionally, mentally, and spiritually well

The story...

My walks in the woods are important to me.  There're few man-made objects to be seen.  There're sounds of creatures, the wind, rustling leaves, and your feet crushing leaves and twigs.  You can feel the wind in your hair and the bumps in the path pushing the soles of your shoes and calloused feet. You can smell a few plants and the decaying leaves too.  You won't taste much; yet, you'll discern a couple things.  Yes, we can sense more while living in the present.

Along my walks, I'm capable of drifting back to an unresolved scenario from my past - often thinking about my role, what I did, and what I might have done.  I've learned to decide what's true about the past situation and to "dispatch" the history before it turns into obsessive thinking and depression.  Often the thoughts end well with me accepting reality and trusting God for needed resolution.

While walking, I might entertain expectations and plans for future events.  This type of thinking can be a worthy, decisive, hiking time investment; yet, they too can turn into unproductive obsessive thinking. It's not hard to begin imagining what might go wrong to the point of imagining my fears into negative, pessimistic expectations for the future.  I don't want to view the future pessimistically nor walk into my future unprepared.

You know these guys...

It seems good when half of my time, walking down the path of life, is living in and more fully perceiving the present - experiencing my senses, feelings, and tuned into my spirit and the presence of God.  Most often this state's not a thinking thing.  It's a peaceful and restful place to be with my mind at rest, sensing what's going on around me, and looking forward to what's up around the path's bend.  I also seem to enjoy my encounters with other hikers better too when I am walking peacefully in the present - it's good to be connected within community.  When I finish my hike, I feel senses of accomplishment, restfulness, and a better sense of connectedness with my whole self, others and God too - okay and loved.

What happens when we don't experience love for an extended period of time?  Might we fail to engage in life or even to experience emotions?  I've heard stories of ignored babies in orphanages who stopped crying - they seem to've realized that there was nobody there to comfort them - to be loved.  The only church in town's a place to learn about what God's revealed about Himself, us, and realistic expectations for the future. The church is a place for experiencing the love of God and real reasons for being okay with yourself.  I want to be present in a place with loving relationships - living within the grace of God - how about you?

Just for today...

"What would happen if we stopped blaming anyone for anything? We would experience miracles of tolerance and grace - rich spiritual rewards, reflected in a life of real fulfillment."  One Day at a Time (p. 268)

"...I suffered from the disease in the form of emotional sickness and spiritual starvation . . . When I could not do another thing for myself . . . God wrapped me in protective care and began to teach me that I am worthy of joy and serenity . . . God's grace is doing for us what we cannot do for ourselves."  Hope for Today (p. 268)

September 23rd - They repeatedly cut me off - like sticking fingers in their ears

The story...

I recently attended an event with a group of people who I haven't met with for a few years.  As we worked out the socially acceptable conversation, it seemed they didn't want to hear my perspective, ideas, or story.  The frequent interruptions seemed to validate my take on this group thing - it appeared that I was violating their norms, values, and unwritten code of acceptable behavior.  It was almost as though the scene was and act in a play and that we were all suppose to act out our assigned roles. The "play" must go on as it has in the past.  Maybe the group was saying: "We've been just fine and dandy and we will not allow you to disrupt our patterns with your big, idealistic, ideas of how we might be better off according to you."  They wouldn't be wrong, I didn't want to be an actor in this play and I don't want to journey down their accepted path that seems to lead to something less than what I hope for.

I did deliver my messaging, although frequently interrupted, without overtly challenging what seemed to be rude and disrespectful behavior on their parts.  I felt rejected by the group and experienced feelings that might have propelled me to quickly react in disrespectful ways - I'm thankful that I showed respect and didn't react negatively.  I don't have to accept future invitations to return.

The only church in town will preach the Word of God - His Word will frequently conflict with the reality of how congregants are behaving and acting out their lives.  People will be free to work out their faith in reality amongst like-minded people within community.

Just for today...

"One of my character defects is to respond in kind to behavior that is directed to me - to react to insults with more insults, to rudeness with rudeness . . .  If I am always reacting then I am never free."  Courage to Change (p. 267)

"I will not try to outwit or outmaneuver anyone else, but will proceed quietly to live my life so I will have less reason for self-reproach. I will withdraw my mind from what others do, and think of what I am doing. I will not react to challenging words and actions."  One Day at a Time (p. 267)

"When you are offended at any man's fault, turn to yourself and study your own failings. Then you will forget your anger."  Epictetus

September 22nd - Pilgrim's Progress - The Great 1678 Christian Allegory

The story...

"If you're in a frustrating exchange with another person - drop the tug-of-war rope."  I remember hearing this from another person who was describing this "tool" as one she used on her journey to being more okay with herself - to the point of seeing herself as worthy of love and offering love to others too.  It seemed easy to do so I "tried it on" for a few days and was surprised at the good results.  I shared my exuberance with the "tool" application success at the next meeting - I was ready to try on more live-giving behaviors and ideas from those who had traveled a similar road before.  As I listened to and shared, our lives began to grow together - we seemed to be walking side-by-side as fellow sojourners towards the "Celestial City" - enjoying the trip too.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The Pilgrims Progress

The only church in town will allow those who might read Pilgrim's Progress to understand the allegory within the reality of God's revealed Word.  The church will offer fellow pilgrims God's revelation about Himself, faith, hope, peace, joy and sustenance for the most adventurous journey.

Just for today...

"It's a wonderful opportunity to practice giving unconditional love and support by simply listening.  Many of us hear stories that are similar to our own; others can often identify with the feelings that are expressed. Perhaps we will be reminded of where we have been and how far we have come."  Courage to Change (p. 266)

"Worrying about trifles saps my spiritual energy which I could certainly put to better use. Am I willing to waste my life in this way? . . . I will not be made uneasy by what others do, whether they intend to hurt me or not. I will not clutter up my thoughts with resentment; it would not profit me, worse it would hurt me."  One Day at a Time (p. 266)

"Sometimes I'm afraid I'll have to separate from my family members to maintain my quest for healthy living, especially when they deny and justify their unacceptable behavior . . . I am slowly learning that trying to change someone else's behavior to suit my needs is an exercise in futility and frustration. Truly profound power and peace lie in the ability to change my behavior to suit my needs . . . I can accept people as they are."  Hope for Today (p. 266)

September 21st - When you find yourself in a hole - quit digging.

The story...

I'm standing in a McDonalds line on the way back from a trip where I was less than a team player.  For whatever reasons, I resented efforts from other people to bend plans for the two-family trip according to their expectations, perceptions, needs and wants - I must've thought that I knew best for everyone.  I was frustrated with everything about that restaurant and all the people who were there too.  It was bad enough that I remember thinking - "this is not okay, you need to be different."  Something had to change - I remember waiting in the line and pondering the situation so it must have been an impactful moment of my life.  "There's got to be a better way."

How do we know when we're not acting or thinking as a whole person - missing something that we need to make wise decisions?  We might: think wrongly, act in selfishness, resent what others did or who they seem to be, know less than necessary, have isolated ourselves from needed compadres, be trying to prevent further wounds, be focusing on pleasing people, be co-dependent on other people, or possibly separated from the Spirit of God.  As if those reasons aren't enough to pause before acting, the acronym HALT comes to mind - pause if you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.

Might the only church in town offer a true message of hope, peace, and joy (Romans 15:13)?  Might a humble, more truthful, life-walk relationship with God be the good life?  Yes...

Just for today...

"Although my life was full of chaos, it was familiar chaos, which gave me the feeling that I had some control over it. This was an illusion."  Courage to Change (p. 265)

"With my thoughts distorted by fear, despair and resentment, and my nerves overwrought, I could not think clearly nor make wise decisions."  One Day at a Time (p. 265)

September 20th - "No Man is an Island."

The story...

Thomas Merton taught me wonderful things that I'd only inklings of before I first read one of my favorite books: "No Man is an Island."  I agreed with John Bunyan that I needed other people to walk alongside me on our journey to the Celestial city as I read "The Pilgrim's Progress."  C.S. Lewis' "Mere Christianity" offered a rational, and easy to understand, picture of what it means to be a Christian. "The Source," by James Mitchener, broadened my view of this epic story of life that we're a part of. Yet most importantly, I learned about who God was when I read the gospel of John during the summer of 1980 - that experience seemed to change my life's course forever.

Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) is studying the book of John during the 2023-2024 season.  What a wonderful opportunity to walk alongside others learning more about what God's revealed about Himself, Us, and the future too.  I plan to trust God with every reading, lesson, prayer, lecture, and group study.  Oh that He will bring me closer to walk more faithfully, hopefully, and humbly with Him - to be free! 

The author, the Apostle John, is described as Jesus' best friend and the Apostle whom Jesus loved.  John was the only one of the 12 who wasn't martyred for his faith.  He was persecuted for his faith yet God protected him and we can learn soo... much from his letter that he wrote towards the end of his most well-lived life.  Why not pick up your bible today and read more about who God is?  He revealed much to the Apostle John throughout his incarnation and as the risen Christ too.  I'm so thankful that John faithfully recorded his revelations.  God doesn't change so we can trust what we learn about Him - what He was like then is true about Him now too.

The only church in town will introduce people to God.  They'll preach and teach His revelation about: Himself; creation; Us; how we might live a fruit-bearing life with God in Christ; and the future that will happen.  What they learn and experience will likely lead them to praise, worship, and service.  They'll learn that the best place to work out life is within the will of God.  His will will be worked out with you or without you.  They'll learn that the best condition is to be safe within the hands of God in Christ.

Just for today...

"The surest plan to make a Man is: Think him so."  James R. Lowell

"I was confident and capable. They all seemed to be whiners or perfectionists . . . As confident and capable as I was, I was afraid to speak up and ask for help . . . Her voice trembled as she admitted she desperately needed a sponsor but was afraid to ask anyone. She began to cry. Another member passed a box of tissues, and as I took the box in my hands, I realized that the frightened voice was my own . . . The same people I had once looked down upon now appeared to me as angels."  Hope for Today (p. 264)

September 19th - The Poison of Hurt and Resentment

The story...

I wanted something from my dad that he couldn't give me.  Did he tell me that it was his to offer or did I just assume he could?  He did stuff along with my older brother that he didn't do with me -  maybe there was something deficient in me?  I assumed that he was a "good" moral person because he did good stuff, was an upstanding member of the community, went to church, and served multiple roles in the church too.  His personality and gifts were different than mine and I couldn't be like him no matter how hard I tried.  So, what did I want from him that he couldn't give?  He did give me much.

I'd like to have known what a good life looked like and that I was worthy, capable and had the power to live one out.  I'd like to have been okay with me and my unique: capabilities, talents and self even though the people of the world seemed to continually challenge my worth.

These guys said I had the power - I don't think they had it to give.

My dad was a good man and good dad - he helped me much and did the best he could with what he had.  I wanted a close relationship with God, my dad, with a few close friends, with my family, eventually alongside a life partner and my community too - these relationships were illusive for me. I'm so thankful for them now.

The relationships that we need might be found within the only church in town.  They can be worked out within the will of God - He's got the power.

Just for today...

"I thought that resentment would prevent me from ever being hurt again . . . living my life under the heavy burdens of rage and resentment were hurting me . . . I experienced a spiritual awakening in the form of a deep desire to let go of those feelings that were poisoning my life . . . I gave up my bitterness and regained my life."  Hope for Today (p. 263)