April 27th - Paddling Together

The story...

You're in a group that's planned to last about a year.  You get to know each other well with only a couple of months left.  When a deeper question arises, the group respectfully ponders it.  The guy who used to blurt out the answer feels comfortable with the silence.  The guy who didn't know what to say, and feared sharing, is quietly and peacefully pondering it too.  When a group member speaks up, the group listens and more naturally values the thoughts expressed from his inner man.  The sense of community feels great - we're growing together.  "One person says, lets all stay with each other next year too."  I'm currently enjoying my seventh year in a group like this.  I greatly value each of the seven groups and every member - I'm a better person because of our common life investments. 

One of my group members was different then me; yet, we shared a common life struggle and the suffering that went with it.  We've met for years and have both grown together - walking through life side-by-side.  I greatly value our friendship and our faith seems to have grown together too.  It's kind of like we're walking together like Christian and Faithful walked throughout Pilgrim's Progress (John Bunyan, 1678).

Years ago, my best friend and I enjoyed a trip to the Boundary Waters on the border of Minnesota and Ontario.   We planned the trip with other's help, we geared up at the Canoe Outfitter and learned how to react to bear encounters as a group.  Yet, when we pushed off from the dock - we were on our own with only a map to guide us.  Pilgrims in a new territory that promised adventure, beauty, suffering, and catching fish for protein.  The portages were strenuous.  The four bear encounters were terrifying.  The moose encounters were humbling.  The first morning dip of the paddle was serene. Relying on each other was bonding. The trip was really hard and good.  Often wondering and anticipating, "what's around the bend?"  Strangely, we don't think that we'd do it again yet greatly value the experience.

This Maine canoe outfitter says "Your Adventure Starts Here."

The only church in town will offer relationship opportunities at different levels - different relationships for different people within their season of life.   The full church, groups, friendships, close friendships, and most importantly their relationship walking humbly with God in Christ. The last affords the opportunity to make the first three types fruit bearing and worthy.

Just for today...

"Self-esteem grows when I love and accept myself as I am.  I block my own well-being each time I base my self-worth on what I do or what others think of me."  Courage to Change (p. 118)

 "When I heard the recording, I was immediately flooded with fear and apprehension . . . I pray that I may not fall into the error of anticipating trouble . . . If it should come, let me meet it with equanimity and love."  Hope for Today (p. 118)

"Pull from bow, Steer from stern - Tandem power; Travels far."   Am I a Poet?

April 26th - Humility

The story...

I was 23 years old and my feet hurt; so, I went to a podiatrist for help.  He explained that my body structure caused me to walk in a manner that caused pain.  He recommended I wear orthotics, to align my body, if I wanted to continue doing the things I liked to do.  I said: "Tell me how to walk right and I'll walk right."  The doctor paused, probably grimaced, and said: "Friend, you have another problem that's bigger than your feet."  

Micah 6:8 says that a good life is found walking humbly with God.  I expect that the admonishment is not to "try" to walk humbly with God, rather to "actually" walk humbly with God.  This transformation has to be a great work of God in a person's inner self - there's no way that I could make that kind of change on my own.  God did the work so that I might walk humbly with Him - an honest appreciation of self.  No matter how hard we try, we can't be good enough to walk closely and humbly/honestly with God - our sin nature and God's Holiness don't fit together - like oil and water.  Walking humbly with God... what a wonderful way to be - being truthful with me.

Tadeusz Gorecki, Humility

The only church in town would frequently present the gospel truth.  The person whose trusting in their own good works might hear about God's great work for them in Christ.  They may react with surprise and great relief.   Then they'd witness transformed people living out a right relationship with God in Christ.  Pilgrim, how's your life progressing?

Just for today...

"I've always had a prideful, exaggerated  sense of my abilities, assuming I could do anything and knew the right answers to everyone's questions . . .  I offended  many people with my opinionated, know-it-all manner . . . This new relationship with God, who knows best, invited me to rethink my position in life; it also invited me to consider the concept of humbleness."  Hope for Today (p. 117)

"A good boy; My momma say - Wrong or prideful;  Be new way."   Am I a Poet?

April 25th - 3rd Eye

The story...

A human resources guy's teaching me to be a better facilitator.  "If you're only looking through your own eyes then you're going to get a limited picture of what's really going on.  What would your third eye see from the top corner of the room?"  

What's really going on in the room?  We know it's impossible to truly know what's going on inside other people; yet, we can receive "tail tell" signs.  What would my third eye see?  The body language, nervous laughter, awkward silence, unexpected comments, beginnings of thoughts not fully expressed, inner-personal conflicts working their way out...  Efforts to redirect my eyes from my vantage to others helped me become a better facilitator.   

These awareness skills and habits take time to develop and maintain.  They get rusty and need the oil can.  Dorothy opens her eyes to her surroundings and discovers a person who she hadn't really noticed before - she finds out that he has "heart" issues.

People would be noticed, valued, and listened to within the only church in town.  People with a loving nature would reach out to better understand the heart issues of others - the things that really matter.  They'd love their neighbor as themselves.  They'd aspire to love others as Christ loved - the Spirit of God indwells those who are His.

Just for today...

"I am introspective when I turn my spiritual energy inward to observe my actions, character, motives, and reactions.  The ensuing awareness helps me see behavior patterns that hold me back from being the person I want to be."  Hope for Today (p. 116)

"I saw that; You meant this - We feel apart; Life lost."   Am I a Poet?

April 24th - Judged and Rejected

The story...

In the early 1990s, a friend of mine shared an experiment that he tried - he was shocked at the results.  He was a big burly sort of guy who sang in his church choir.  He wore a magnetically attached earring on his left ear lobe one Sunday.  The group overtly exhibited strong negative behaviors and feelings directed towards him.  He was rejected by the group without any words being shared.  I was fascinated by the story so I naively decided to give it a try myself.

I set up the scenario by bemoaning that I needed a change in my life for a few days.  Then I went to the mall with my young son and bought the magnetic earring.  I couldn't lie to my son so he was in on it.  When I walked into the door, the one who loves me most was shocked, doubted the reality, shocked again, doubted the reality again, and then finally, yet reluctantly, accepted this new change.  They were bruised when they realized it was fake and that I'd put them through the emotional anguish.

It was a different story with my siblings and parents.  I later regretted "trying" the same experiment on them.  My mother accepted it right away yet expressed worry about how other family members would react.  My brother curled up in a ball on the couch and rocked back and forth in disbelief.  I don't remember how my sisters reacted yet I think that they decided to wait it out.  My dad fully rejected me and indirectly shared a story about what happened to people like that in the Navy.  I was judged differently by different people.  Would I try an experiment like this again?  No, it wasn't fair to me or for them.  I'd rather read about somebody else's experiment - it hurt all of us.

I'm hoping that the only church in town would welcome the whole community.  Oh, if those who were invited to enter the doors could feel the love of God expressed through those who are His...

Just for today...

"I must guard against judging others by my standards.  It means examining and improving those standards and living up to them myself."  One Day at a Time (p. 115)

"That'll shock'em; Let's roll - Weathered hearts; We suffer."   Am I a Poet?

April 23rd - Feelings

The story...

The songwriter must feel a sort of onus when they copyright a song title that's a word that means so much.  Morris Albert's 1975 song "Feelings" is one of those songs.  I'm glad that Morris' song was done well - you can feel it.

Thank you Ivan and Morris - well done.

Sure, the song was overplayed on the radio - many people complained about it.  Yet, I expect that the underlying problem was that people often don't know what to do with their feelings.  As you probably know, many people suppress them and have a difficult time acknowledging or expressing them.  It might start with that one real-strong feeling that you held back and buried - unwanted feelings.

Why not do periodic feeling checkups?  Are you feeling happy, fearful, sad, angry, shameful, or guilty?  If so, why?  Feelings are wonderful human sensing mechanisms that can help us better understand and more fully engage in life - kind of like a latent super hero's power.  With practice, we don't have to quickly react to them or hang onto them too long.  My 1992 T-group experience in Maine was formative for my emotional awareness.  I learned to be more emotionally intelligent - more in tune with what's going on.

Yes, the only church in town would have places, or groups, where congregants might work out their life more fully - appreciated for being the uniquely gifted person that we all are.  We're created in the image of God with feelings - albeit experienced differently.

Just for today...

"As long as I kept them trapped inside me, my feelings were painful and poisonous secrets.  When I let them out, they became expressions of my vitality."  Courage to Change (p. 116)

"Just as prayer is my way of talking with God, meditation is my way of listening for direction."  Hope for Today (p. 116)

"We sense, we feel - They're true; We're real."   Am I a Poet?

April 22nd - Sophomore Year

The story...

I moved my stuff into a new dorm room for my Sophomore year of college.  My new room and roommate were better.  I greatly valued the dorm floor community - especially the upper classmen that I'd looked up to and learned from.  They left - I felt an ache and missed them.  Yet, there were the excitable new Freshman who were ready to be treated as "adults;" yet, not ready to behave that way.

I was walking to lunch and I noticed a friends new roommate's name on his door.  I thought it said his last name was "Lordy" so I made a quick joke and we all laughed about it.  This new Freshman's nickname was "Lordy" thereafter.

Lordy was different from any person I'd known.  He was raised without the boundaries of any moral code I knew.  He did what he wanted.  His good looks, fun personality, lack of boundaries, and interest in almost everyone, led him into destructive "radical" patterns - his future seemed risky at best. 

For example, he'd read trade journals, that my dad gave me, rather than studying for tomorrow's exam - I didn't read the trade journals.  He rode home laying on the roof of a car, gazing at the stars - wanted to feel something new.  He experienced deep short-term relationships with the girls that most guys dreamed of just being noticed by.  He tried things that were illegal without concern of risk.  He seemed to be a shooting star that'd burn out too soon.  I'm told that he later became an evangelist - a preacher!

"That Than Which there is No Greater" is in control and His will will be worked out regardless of our opinions.  The story of Jonah and his call for the big city of Nineveh to turn from evil, so that God would relent from His planned destruction, is a great example.  Jonah didn't want God to save any from this enemy city - A city that would soon "sack" Israel in 701 BCE.  Yet, God directed Jonah to proclaim that He would save them and He did - He saved all of them.  Why wouldn't God do the same thing for Jonah's people in Israel?  God's ways are not our ways nor His thoughts our thoughts.

The only church in town would be God's called out group of people.  They'd listen to God's revealed Word, believe it, and trust Him.

Just for today...

Consider reading the book of Jonah.  And, following up with Matthew 12:38-41.  Whoa!

"... we neither love nor hate those in whom we have no interest . . . Love has a chance to flower in a shared life; hate is love twisted and warped by disillusionment and despair."  One Day at a Time (p. 113)

"We decide to place our will and our life in the hands of God.  We let go of burdens that were never ours to carry.  And we begin to treat ourselves more kindly and more realistically."  Courage to Change (p. 113)

"Kind here; Grace there - I'm better; Me for me."   Am I a Poet?

April 21st - Opinions

The story...

"In my opinion, this is right because of A, B, and C; therefore, I'm right until you prove me wrong." There were at least a dozen different possible interpretations.  Some were more likely than others; yet, only one was true.

Opinions may be likened to barbed wire fences.  We may erect them to keep out the wrong people and the contaminating ideas that go along with them.  In reality, the fences can keep us isolated, narrow minded, stunted and "pricked" each time we bounce into them.

Many of the issues that Christians have with other Christians are related to opinions rather than scriptural or scientific facts.  Christianity and grace seem to go against the natural order of life that I've experienced.  I don't expect that I'd have searched or reasoned out truths about God without them being revealed in scripture.  The things that Jesus is quoted as having said seem to have been surprising to the people of their day and to me too.  Truly, God's ways are not my ways nor His thoughts my thoughts.

The fundamentals of Christianity are wonderful, operational, and freeing.  The only church in town would focus on working out the essentials while loving and respecting each individual member.

Just for today...

"My intolerance was rooted in two of my main character defects - fear and insecurity.  My opinions were inseparable from my self-image.  If my opinions were wrong, I was wrong.  If my philosophy wasn't good enough, I wasn't good enough."  Hope for Today (p. 112)

"With this solid foundation of love and support, our individual differences can only make us richer as a whole."  Courage to Change (p. 112)

"Curious am I; This, that or maybe - Some know only; Let'em be."
"Life grows each; Trekking their path - Each a painting; Eternal value."   Am I a Poet?

April 20th - Growing Together

The story...

Early in my career, I learned a simulation programming language that only one other person in my workplace knew.  We were simulating, or programming, the reality of manufacturing processes in a way that we could better understand how the processes behaved.  A validated model could be used to predict how changes to the process, system, or environment would affect/effect real outcomes.  I worked through my dynamic "modeling" problems, during non--work hours; but, had nobody to talk them through with until we met again the next morning.  Sure, I could call the software help line but their help wasn't the same.  We needed each other.  And, we grew together by modeling reality together.  We were the only ones in the organization that could understand the language.  We experienced models that worked and those that didn't - together.

Self disclosure came easy to me yet close friendships did not - they take work and self-compassion.  I know that it feels good for me to talk out my thoughts - the unresolved.  Thoughts seem to come together into a more understandable, clearer, and actionable way when they see the light of day.  It sure helps if the person, that I am sharing with, wants to understand me and values our relationship too.

Your pet could be the one that you work out your thoughts with.  They certainly can be attentive, appreciative, readily available, and safe too.  How might it be better to tell a trusted friend than a pet?  

Tulips - Like Friendships? 😊

The only church in town would be the place where friends could share the reality of their common faith in Christ worked out in the actualities of life.  It seems good that they'd have opportunities to develop trusted friend(s) through whom they might more fully work out their life together - the successes and the suffering too.

Just for today...

"'Let Go and Let God,' and turn my problems over to God?  Wasn't I expected to solve my own and everyone else's problems, have all the answers, and support the behavior patterns, no matter how destructive?  How could I keep my family together?"  Hope for Today (p. 111)

"Sometimes I have to fight the old urge to keep quiet at all costs, but I have found that sharing is the key to healing. . . By sharing honestly with people I trust, I challenge the old, negative ideas."  Courage to Change (p. 111)

"Single cord; easily broken - Two friends; Room to grow."   Am I a Poet?

April 19th - Lowered Expectations

 The story...

I worked out much of my life as the idealist.  "It's not good the way things are and they should be different."  My "idealistic" ideas seemed virtuous; yet, in my limited understanding, didn't work themselves out well in the light of day.  There seemed to be more negative outcomes than positive - I know that I wasn't comfortable serving within some board member roles.  My "idealistic" presence may have hindered God's Hand in the development of the good church that might've better met people's needs as they actually were.

There're reasons for why things are the way they are.  The status quo is meeting needs in ways that we aren't aware of or maybe even able to understand.  Our ways are not God's ways and our thoughts are not His thoughts.  It seems, He has plans that require building some up, slowly teaching some, "pruning" some down, calling some to faith, nudging that first step, sequencing events for a great work, or even generating dissatisfaction so people move out in different directions.

Are you ready to pack up and move on?

I expect the only church in town would have the advantage of not needing to clarify and magnify their distinctive differences as compared to the other church alternatives.  They'd focus on the God-revealed truth that all people are living under a sin curse - born in iniquity.  That bent nature separates all people from our most holy God and Creator.  God performed the great sacrificial work on our behalf - nothing required from us but faith in what Christ alone has already done for us.  Faith in the reality that we're redeemed as new creatures - redeemed and adopted into God's family in Christ.  Wow!

Just for today...

"I've learned that I have the ability to adjust my expectations so that I no longer set myself up for constant disappointment."  Courage to Change (p. 110)

"When I first stopped trying to fix other people, I turned my attention to 'curing myself'."  Hope for Today (p. 110)

Read and own Ephesians chapter 2.  Use a different translation if what you read doesn't make sense to both your mind and your inner person.  Please don't quit until you've grasped these wonderful truths about who we are in Christ - then hold on! 

"Inklings of truth; Taught as reality - Disillusioned ears; Feel left behind."   Am I a Poet?

April 18th - Be that Friend

The story...

A guy, with black glasses and an afro hair style, invited me over to his house - it was the kind of action that could develop a friendship.  The friendship lasted long enough for me to learn how to juggle.  Starting with two balls in one hand, then three balls, then three different types of objects, and eventually juggling three balls back and forth with my new friend.

My juggling skills have brought me joy throughout my life.  I'm thankful to that kid, in high school, who made the effort to become my friend.

I hope that every person within the only church in town would have at least one close friend.  The kind of friend that you can walk through life with, be vulnerable or less guarded with, and grow together.  Friendships are great yet they aren't necessary or permanent.  They're worth the risk and effort.  Why not ask that potential friend over to juggle today?

Just for today...

"I had to give what I wanted to receive and become what I wanted to attract. . . As I grew kinder and more loving, other people responded to the change. . . Today I can take an active role in fulfilling my needs.  I can choose to become someone I would want to have in my life."  Courage to Change (p. 109)

"Much of my present insanity stemmed from my inability to accept and feel compassion for myself because of my past choices and behaviors . . . I am turning my painful history into today's blessings and strengths."  Hope for Today (p. 109)

"Courage to go; Be round the table - Experience 'em now; Love you too."
"Heart's less guarded; Laughter and tears - Souls filled up; Right and good."   Am I a Poet?

April 17th - Try Giving Up Trying

The story...

Dale Carnegie wrote the book "How to Win Friends & Influence People."  I'm not a big fan of self-help books but this one's a gem.  Self-help books often teach ways that people are asked to "try" to be better - ways they aren't capable of following due to inherent personal flaws.  For me, "do" is a much better word than "try" - "try" suggests that failure's a likely outcome.

I've read, and listened to, Carnegie's book about ten times. It's crazy good and helpful.  I've found myself thinking on and "doing" his suggestions throughout my life with good result.

One of my favorite characters in the book is Teddy Roosevelt.  He knew each of the White House servants by name. The night before a person visited the White House would find him reading about what was most interesting to the visitor.  If the boy was interested in sailboats then he read about sailboats.  Those people loved him back and Teddy grew and grew to become...  

The only church in town would be characterized by love.  A growing love within the umbrella of the Spirit of Christ.  Congregates, within this Body of Christ, would increasingly listen and love as they "do" or work out the reality of their lives as individuals and together within community - actually interested in, listening to, and caring for each other..

Just for today...

"My best efforts to be noticed, listened to, appreciated, and loved were failing . . . As I focused my actions on a loving principle, my character defect of craving attention from people, who couldn't give it, was removed."  Hope for Today (p. 108)

"If the group's plans seem designed to benefit the greatest number of people, I can usually support them.  I don't mean that I ignore my own needs and feelings - I express them.  But others have needs too, and I must respect them."  Courage for Today (p. 108)

"React fast; Receive their stuff - Don't like it; Run away."
"Feel bad; Try again - Same results; Give up."|
"Loved by Him; Love me too - Love you guys; No longer blue."   Am I a Poet?

April 16th - Love Yourself Already- "It's the power of ..."

The story...

It was later in life when I first heard a respected person say that I needed to love myself before I could fully love others.  Similar messages were likely dispatched to me before; but, I clearly didn't receive them.  I know I heard the second greatest commandment: "... love your neighbor as yourself."  This is a core tenant of Judeo-Christianity; so, why was this so hard to first comprehend?

I knew that loving others was a virtue but loving "me" sounded like a selfish-proud man's bane.  And, I knew that I was flawed in ways that we surely want to keep to ourselves if we expect to be accepted by others.

Yes, I accepted that I'm fully loved by God and can love me too.  Quiet meditation after my "normal" prayers, with my thinker in the back seat, is a time where actually being loved can be realized.

People will find true freedom within the only church in town.  They'll grow to love themselves and their neighbors too.  Scripture says we're made in the image of God and that God loves us so much that His Son redeems the full sin burden for those who are His.   With our sins covered by the blood of Christ, we're empowered to walk humbly and vicariously with God - loved.  Might that be part of the good life today and a glimpse of what it might be like into eternity?

I ain't never going back to that old, commiserating, crappy, selfish life where people wallow in their sin, polish their medals, compare themselves to others, and "try" to please those who couldn't care less.  I will to keep my eyes less on me and more on others.  I want to be in tune with what's really going on and experience being loved and loving too.

Just for today...

"I always expected my happiness to come through others, especially my . . .  parents.  I spent most of my life waiting for them to show their love and approval in a way that I could understand.  They didn't, and I felt deprived and unlovable as a result. . . The only person wo can love me the way I want to be loved is me."   Courage to Change (p. 107)

"I gots itches; Rough and smooth - Don't gotta change; He loves me." 
"Made like Him; Outta dust - Will be new; Our destiny."    Am I a Poet?

February 29th: Be free in Christ - unshackled from self bondage

The story...

I can't get no satisfaction trying to please me - it's impossible.  Worse yet, on my own, my efforts to be a good boy leave me insecure when facing rejection, inevitable suffering, and death.  I can't get no satisfaction on my own - it's like tugging around a ball and chain made out of self.

Life would be better if I was okay with me, more openly and honestly relating to other people - bearing the type of fruit that comes from abiding in Christ: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  Scripture says they happen as we trust in Christ and abide in Him too.

Abiding in Christ means a position and a transforming-metamorphosized relationship that includes communication.  We can never fully understand the trinity of God; yet, the gospel of John says that God the Father speaks messages to the Son of God; the Son speaks the messages to the Holy Spirit; and the Holy Spirit indwells and speaks to those in Christ.  Those in Christ pray to the Father in the Son's name - Christ is our mediator.  Prayer and meditation keeps us close to God in a right relationship that can free us from the bondage of self today.

February 29th, we'll see you in another four years if God so wills.  Let's keep the communication flowing - we need each other.

"Stuck in a box; Built over time - Cold and lonely; It's all mine."  Am I a Poet?

Step towards better understanding the "good life."

Welcome fellow life travelers who're committed to a more realistic view of ourselves and our faith in God. This blog is an attempt to "flesh out" key points of a life journey within 365 daily buckets.   I'm a curious person by nature and continue to be surprised at the value of introspection grounded in reality.  Might daily reflections "paint" a good life that we can work out and share with other community members?  The kind of community that might be experienced in the only church in town.