July 18th - No Man is an Island - Thomas Merton

The story...

The life of a monk, I'll never experience.  I do aspire to have the ability to write honestly and robustly about the actualities of my life and faith.  My ability to communicate my reality is hampered by my: limited communication skills; ability to understand my own heart; the few people I share the reality of my faith with; and the interference that my "self" causes. 

I'm so thankful for the faithful life of Thomas Merton - his honest description of his life journey, his faithful walk in Christ, and his ability to describe it so accurately and succinctly.  Contemplating his paragraph copied and cited below is helpful.  I'm not able to add to what he so succinctly presents - just for today.

Just for today...

"To consider persons and events and situations only in the light of their effect upon myself is to live on the doorstep of hell.  Selfishness is doomed to frustration, centered as it is upon a lie. To live exclusively for myself, I must make all things bend themselves to my will as if I were a god. But this is impossible. Is there any more cogent indication of my creaturehood than the insufficiency of my own will? For I cannot make the universe obey me. I cannot make other people conform to my own whims and fancies. I cannot make even my own body obey me.  When I give it pleasure, it deceives my expectation and makes me suffer pain. When I give myself what I conceive to be freedom, I deceive myself and find that I am the prisoner of my own blindness and selfishness and insufficiency."   Merton, Thomas, No Man is an Island (1955) (p. 24)

"I will not resist the impact of a new idea.  It may be just the one I've needed without being aware of it. I will make my mind more flexible and receptive to new points of view."  One Day at a Time (p. 200)

"... I can plant a seed in fertile soil, but I don't help the plant to grow by tugging at the seed in hope that it will sprout. I have to let the process unfold at its own pace."  Courage to Change (p. 200)

"You're new; I'm all known - Listen close; Seeds are sown." 
"Try the new; Wear awhile - Adapt and Grow; Gotta smile."
"Share the change; Others do - We're better; From me and you."     Am I a Poet?

July 17th - Staying okay within healthy boundaries

The story...

Our dog buddy was old and sick.  We loved him.  We took him to the vet and they confirmed that his life was ending.  I held him while he breathed his last.  My eyes are watering as I recall those moments.  I wasn't okay - the reality of death stinks.  It shouldn't be that way, but it was.

If I can't be okay, unless all those who I care about are okay, then I'll never be okay.  Surely, its logical that the best way for me to be helpful for others is to come from a place of strength, peace, and "okayness."  

What does it take to be okay?  Maybe its being honest about my past, present, and future - more humble.  Maybe it takes working on meaningful relationships while allowing the other person(s) to be truthful and okay as they are.  "Okayness" that isn't based on reality seems fragile and temporary at best.

Funerals shine a big light on the reality of this game of life.  If your saving faith in God's provision for your today and eternity is weak; then, it takes a bit of pretending to be okay.  The only church in town will mourn at the death of one of their own while the funeral will profess their reason for hope and "okayness."  Yes, I'm okay in Christ - God said so, I believe so, and I'll walk today in that reality.  It could've been different but it isn't.

Just for today...

"Because my fate - my very life - was no longer tied directly to theirs, I was able to accept them for who they were and to listen to their ideas and concerns without trying to exercise control."  Courage to Change (p. 199)

"Though I was attempting in good faith to arrive at an agreeable solution, I was repeatedly met with sarcasm.  After a time I said that if the sarcasm persisted, I would not participate any further . . . I gained respect from the other person when I matched my intentions with my actions."  Hope for Today (p. 199)

"Okay this morn; To be with them - Live it out; Fresh tomorrow."   Am I a Poet?

July 16th - EGO maintenance or replacement?

The story...

A Human Resources representative delivered a 360 degree performance evaluation to me and summarized the feedback that she received with one phrase: "It's all about you."  I appreciated the honest feedback yet it stung.  Sure I talk about me and what I'm interested in most.  Who else's ideas could I share?  Okay, I didn't know the names of my work-group's family members - why is that a problem?  I'm a story teller, who else's stories can I tell?  The feedback was valuable and I never forgot it.  It took effort and courage to develop and deliver that feedback to me - I'm extremely grateful that she succinctly delivered the feedback in a manner that I actually accepted.  My self awareness grew much that day.

So, my ego is that part of my conscience mind which I consider myself.  It's who I'm referring to when I use the word "I."  Is it a worthy endeavor to better understand and value my ego?  When does self-awareness and development turn that nasty corner toward narcissism?   Am, I lovable as I am?  Can I love me without being consumed by self-love and falling into loneliness and despair?  What's a healthy level of self-esteem?

My favorite verse of the bible is a wish that the Apostle Paul sends to a congregation of people in Rome whom he'd never met.  I wish the same thing for me and for you too.  

"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."  Romans 15:13 NASB

The "egos" who walk into the only church in town would find what they're looking for in a right relationship with God and His community.  There they hear about a more healthy ego that enables a person to live a more satisfying, joyful, peaceful, and fruitful life.  Hopefully they'll witness, meet, and walk with people who're trusting in God.

Why is it so hard for a man to bend his knee and trust in God and His provision for the "good" life?  Why is faith in God and His Word soo... elusive for most people?  The self seems to rebel against this threat to it's supreme authority and preeminence.  It's almost like our old self is trying to save itself from being transformed from that caterpillar to the butterfly.

Just for today...

"Maturity is the capacity to withstand ego-destroying experiences, and not lose one's perspective in the ego-building experiences."  Robert K. Greenleaf

“Despair is the absolute extreme of self-love. It is reached when a person deliberately turns his back on all help from anyone else in order to taste the rotten luxury of knowing himself to be lost.”  Thomas Merton

"Creature adrift; Creator let go - Proudly alone; Lost in a mirror."
"Ray of light; Darkness revealed - Trusted Christ; Home again."   Am I a Poet?

July 15th - Honest or Complacent?

The story...

Most friends would characterize me as being an honest person; however, I've worked out my "honesty" differently throughout my life.  We all know that you don't share a poor opinion regarding the beauty of a mother's new baby.  When your spouse comes home with a radically different haircut, you don't question the decision or openly say it looks bad.  On a bigger scale, what do you say when the king's not wearing pants yet the whole community pretends to ignore the obvious truth?

Hans Christian Andersen, 1837

The opinions we form, value and defend might be part of this dilemma.  You may think we need to think like the group to remain accepted or valued - that might be part of the problem.  The continual quest to be and think like the "best" might be part of the problem.  Working out our life as a sort of "random walk" might be part of the problem.  Staying complacent and sticking with, and self-justifying, our current way of behaving is likely part of the problem.

Maybe the problem solution includes a stable code of values, principles, or core tenets regarding how we live our life.  Yet, even if the code we live by is sound, how do we relate with others whose code is different, changing, or directly opposed to ours?  I expect that the answer will likely include demonstrating and expressing dignity and respect toward all humans no matter where they currently are within their life journey.  We'll all likely grow together as we express love towards each other, let our guards down some, and begin to better understand each other within closer relationships.

The only church in town will focus on the truth of God's revealed Word.  The truth includes grace in Christ for both me and you too - grace that we may extend to each other.  Honesty is an important part of every relationship.  Are you rightly related to God through Christ?

Just for today...

"Complacency simply means being sure we're right, taking it for granted that our view couldn't possibly be wrong. It means judging others by what we think is right. It blocks out understanding and kindness, and justifies qualities in ourselves that we wouldn't find tolerable in other people."  One Day at a Time (p. 197)

"Am I okay?, As I am? - Should I grow?; Remain the same?"
"Christ in me; This is true - He does good; I'm brand new."    Am I a Poet?

July 14th - Reacting like Quick Draw McGraw?

The story...

I'm standing between the elevators on the sixth floor of Knapp Hall, Murray House, in an angry confrontation with another college student.  There're about a dozen fellow students watching this play out - it looked like it was about to come to blows.  Strangely, and in a mocking way, I say "I still love you ..."  I was shocked to see his resistance instantly melt away with him apologizing for his side of the offense.  I stood there dumbfounded by what just occurred.

Oh... the things that offended me as a child, adolescent, adult and yesterday.  Sometimes I: reacted quickly, paused before reacting, let it stew, tried to ignore it, discredited the sender, imagined it never happened, continued to resent, or even privately forgave.  Was it possible to show empathy towards the sender?  Might I've ignored the initial sense of unfairness and sought to understand first?  Might this "fire hose" of emotions been a signal of an interpersonal problem that needed to be addressed?

"Now hold on there!" 1951 - 1962

Surely, there're relationships that can be detrimental to one or both parties and need to be diminished. Yet, even these "breakups" will likely best work out under the umbrella of respect.

The only church in town will be bathed in grace and forgiveness.  Each person makes a reasonable series of choices that leads them to the point of confrontation.  "What's love got to do with it?"  He forgives all sins in Christ and restores relationships with repentant sinners who walk humbly with Him.  There's no better place to be found than in Christ - "I'm with Him!"

Just for today...

"Making amends has helped me to put the past behind me and move on with a clear conscience.  My self-esteem has grown ever since, and I feel much better about myself."  Courage to Change (p. 196)

"Its not easy to restrain ourselves from reacting to what others do that seems to affect us.  A healthy detachment brings about the very changes we were powerless to make by continually fighting the problem."  One Day at a Time (p. 196)

"Missing that; See it there - Want it now; Life ain't fair."
"Reality's true; Ain't it so? - Eyes are veiled; He is so."   Am I a Poet?

July 13th - Living in the reality of the "present."

The story...

As a boy; one summer time - the hopes and dreams of activities, growth, happiness, and good relationships didn't happen as I hoped.  Sadly, I remember thinking, "well, the summer's over for everybody else too" - it didn't make any difference whether my summer was good or bad.

Sunflower in August

If my current-self could sit down with my old-self, what would I share with him to give him a "jump start" on life?   How might I help him heal the wounds in my old-self's heart?  Sadly, I don't know what I'd say; yet, I believe that I'd express my sincere love for him.  How would he sense and know that love?

Who knows those hidden secrets for living the good life?  Was there a book that I could've shared with him?  Might I've shared with him the good stuff that actually would occur in his life?  Should I've told him to invest all of his money into ownership shares of Microsoft so that he would be "all set?"

The good that's come to me was centered on living in the present with a right relationship with God in Christ.  It's good to love God, love myself as He does, and more naturally love other people too.  I imagine a good life kinda looking like that really big sunflower.  Hmm, maybe I'd take my old self to see a field of really big sunflowers and share the reality of my most precious relationships?

The only church in town would be a safe place for that younger version of me to be introduced to the love of God worked out through people with skin on them - those who're still in the world of the living.   A place where true joy and happiness can be found while living in the present.

Just for today...

"How many days of my life have I wasted? . . . I rejected overtures of friendship from co-workers so that I could fret, uninterrupted about what was bothering me . . . When my worries and sorrows cloak me, the laughter and sunshine of the everyday world seem inappropriate to the way I feel.  Who is out of sync - the rest of the world or me? . . . Today I will live in the present and find what I can enjoy there."  Courage to Change (p. 195)

"Sun sets; Day's done - Reflections fade; Had I won?"
"Relationships measure; Lasting stuff - Love lasts; It's enough."   Am I a Poet?

July 12th - Living relationships

The story...

The people I normally congregate with planned a different kind of event where we spent a full Saturday together - all together on a big bus.  I invited two of my long-term friends to go with us - one said yes and the other said yes only because of the first friend's enthusiasm to go. 

Not the bus we went on yet it looks "fun."

It seemed that after about eight hours the initial anxieties and awkwardness of being in a new group melted away - we felt a bit more rested and content together.   On the way home, the person who was reluctant to go, sat across the table from me eating the largest Arby's roast beef.  They shared that the event was much better than they expected and they were glad that they came; but, he had one question.  I had introduced him to a person within the group whom I described as a best friend who I often shared ideas, questions, learnings, concerns, and spiritual life realities with.  So, what was his question?  "Have you ever shared bad stuff about me with him?"   

I paused as I reflected on the question.  I was surprised that I actually had no "bad stuff "that I knew about my friend.  And, I had no bad feelings or thoughts about any other person either.  At least at that moment, I truly did feel acceptance and respect for all people just as they were.   I was able to truthfully say to him: "Actually, I don't have bad thoughts about anybody and certainly not you.  No, I didn't share bad stuff about you."  He replied: "That's good."

Within the only church in town, people would find compassion for all, just the way they are.  They'd learn about the reality of who they are in Christ.  They'd be enabled to love God and themselves too.   That's the source of strength from which we can truly have compassion for all.  Praise God in Christ - "grace, grace, wonderful grace."

Just for today...

"The more scared I was the more I tried to control.  Fear reared its ugly head particularly in my belief that I wasn't good enough or smart enough to have joyful, trusting and intimate relationships.  Instead of allowing myself to connect with others, I would often avoid them."  Hope for Today (p. 194)

"I can focus on myself and still be a loving, caring person . . . Encouraging and being kind to others is one way of being good to myself, and I don't have to sacrifice myself in the process . . . Today I will offer support for those I love and still take care of myself."  Courage to Change (p. 194)

"If you would be loved, love, and be loveable."  Benjamin Franklin

"You're you; Warts an all - When okay; We stand tall."   Am I a Poet?

February 29th: Be free in Christ - unshackled from self bondage

The story...

I can't get no satisfaction trying to please me - it's impossible.  Worse yet, on my own, my efforts to be a good boy leave me insecure when facing rejection, inevitable suffering, and death.  I can't get no satisfaction on my own - it's like tugging around a ball and chain made out of self.

Life would be better if I was okay with me, more openly and honestly relating to other people - bearing the type of fruit that comes from abiding in Christ: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  Scripture says they happen as we trust in Christ and abide in Him too.

Abiding in Christ means a position and a transforming-metamorphosized relationship that includes communication.  We can never fully understand the trinity of God; yet, the gospel of John says that God the Father speaks messages to the Son of God; the Son speaks the messages to the Holy Spirit; and the Holy Spirit indwells and speaks to those in Christ.  Those in Christ pray to the Father in the Son's name - Christ is our mediator.  Prayer and meditation keeps us close to God in a right relationship that can free us from the bondage of self today.

February 29th, we'll see you in another four years if God so wills.  Let's keep the communication flowing - we need each other.

"Stuck in a box; Built over time - Cold and lonely; It's all mine."  Am I a Poet?

Step towards better understanding the "good life."

Welcome fellow life travelers who're committed to a more realistic view of ourselves and our faith in God. This blog is an attempt to "flesh out" key points of a life journey within 365 daily buckets.   I'm a curious person by nature and continue to be surprised at the value of introspection grounded in reality.  Might daily reflections "paint" a good life that we can work out and share with other community members?  The kind of community that might be experienced in the only church in town.