May 6th - "You don't know what you don't know."

The story...

I wish I would've received more honest feedback throughout my life.  I expect that people often didn't feel safe delivering their perceptions or ideas to me.  What would I say and how would I react?  I wrote most of my own performance appraisals; yet, I sincerely appreciated those that were written by my supervisor with constructive feedback and a clearer view towards what "better" might look like.  I truly did act on much of the feedback and became a better employee and person along the way.  

Strangely, one of my favorite sayings is "you don't know what you don't know."  Those ideas, or truths, fit into one of the  four quadrants in the following diagram - this diagram continues to be very helpful for me.  As a teacher, I've this need to explain what this grid is and how it might best be applied.  Yet, it's self explanatory.  You'll likely desire to increase the size of your quadrant "A" and more honestly assess the amount of potential knowledge to be found in each of your quadrants.

As I've grown as a person, I believe quadrants "A" and B" have become bigger and that quadrants "C" and "D." have become smaller.  As humans, I expect that we vastly minimize the size of quadrant "D."

The only church in town would hopefully grow their congregant's knowledge found in quadrants "A," "B" and "C."  Working out the unknowns in quadrants "B", "C" and "D," that're revealed only in God's Word, are a primary reason for the church.

Just for today...

"I put so much energy into hiding the truth that, although no one rejected me, I was as isolated and lonely as if they had."  Courage to Change (p. 127)

"I wasted large portions of my day lost in daydreams, rewriting the past with happy endings and doling out justice to those who had caused me harm."  Hope for Today (p. 127)

May 5th - Limitations

The story...

If I'm honest with my reality and the limited control that I have over it, I stand, or bow, in humility.  The need to work out life best with an honest appreciation of me, humility. reminds me of a quote from the Dirty Harry movie Magnum Force: "a man's got to know his limitations."

Does being humble include being honest with our limitations and bowing in awe of our Creator and God?  It seems the only logical conclusion, makes sense with my life walk, and sits well within my stomach too.

I hope that the people of the only church in town don't build their faith based on the quality of their leader - often the pastor.  The pastor's under the curse, the law of sin and death, just like you.  Yet, all who attend the only church in town would hear him preach the good news.  "That Than Which There is No Greater" offered an all-powerful redeemer - His only begotten Son.  I'm glad that He's my redeemer and that I don't have to rely on me or the possibility of a helpful and capable guy like "Dirty Harry."

Just for today...

"I begin  to learn humility when I take the first step.  By admitting I am powerless, I make room for the possibility that a Power greater than myself can do all those things that are beyond my reach."  Courage to Change (p. 126)

May 4th - Mansion on the Hill

The story...

Are you okay with your character within the epic story of life?  I expect it's good to want to improve our condition yet it's probably more important to appreciate the good in what we got.

I remember imagining how great it would be to be a professor.  Graduate students working real projects alongside me and even stopping by my house to talk about their ideas and lives too.  I'd live in a one-story-brick house with a big front porch.  It'd never be winter on that tree-lined street where everybody felt welcomed.  We'd share our lives as we worked through the reality of this world and what might be.  I'd attend lectures, plays, and concerts.  Life would be bigger, wiser, and more fulfilling. 

The idea was compelling enough that I worked long and hard to earn my PhD and find that university job.  It was good, yet it wasn't as I imagined it would be.  I was tired at the end of a work day and looked forward to returning to my condo - away from campus, fellow professors, and the students too. 

Most people aren't alive and their time under the sun is over.  Biology, astronomy and the science leave me in awe of this "miracle" of life.  Wow, you and I are both alive if you're reading this sentence.  That's a big wow!

We can waste our life dreaming of a better reality, the "mansion on the hill," and miss the wonderful reality of what truly is.  Bruce Springsteen's album "Nebraska" does a good job of delving into the hopes, dreams, and the struggles of being human - the lyrics, guitar, harmonica and his comfortable voice resonated with my soul during a couple phases of my life.

We can look at life good or we can look at life bad.  Suffering breaks some people yet leads others to trust in God and His Word for their past, present and future.  I hope that the only church in town will be a place of joy and hope in the midst of suffering.  Their countenances and talk would speak of overflowing thankfulness for journeying though a life in Christ.   I hope we wouldn't find people commiserating in their futility - hoping for a mansion on a hill for fulfillment.

Just for today...

"If a man happens to find himself, he has a mansion which he can inhabit with dignity all the days of his life."  James Michener

"When a man of good-will is troubled or tempted or afflicted with evil thoughts, then he can better understand how great a need he has of faith in God."  Thomas à Kempis

May 3rd - Freedom to Flourish

The story...

A co-worker and I were commuting to-and-from Grand Rapids, MI as part of a continuing education curriculum devoted to helping us become better managers and leaders.  We were struggling to accept the lessons learned from a video we saw that night.  The video showed a "boss" who had multiple employees come into his office while he was setting plans for a golf outing.  Each of his reports would let him know of their problem(s) and how they were proceeding.  He acknowledged their planned actions, thanked them, and returned to planning his outing with his feet up on the desk.  It seemed like he was a disengaged, laissez-faire, manager.  Yet, the video suggested that good leadership might look like that - capable leaders and mangers performing their role in a sort of symphony together.  How could this be?   Shouldn't the boss give them advise, check on the progress of their work and pitch in to help?  You know, true servant leadership?

My fellow student and I both served support roles for multiple manufacturing facilities.  So, we challenged ourselves to decide which operation had the most capable leaders within the organization.  We were somewhat shocked when we realized that the leader of the best organization did behave much like the leader portrayed in the video - neither of us really thought he was a good leader.  Yet, his organization was like a farm team who developed good leaders and managers for the organization - they played wonderful music together.  We both learned a valuable lesson that night.

Freedom to work it out and grow

What would leadership look like within the only church in town?  I expect that they'd allow congregates the freedom to work out their own life and faith.  They'd be available, good listeners, offer related truth revealed by God, yet be slow to give advice as to what they should do or how they should do it.  They'd allow each person to grow with freedom to flourish within the will of God. 

Just for today...

"Sometimes it is more loving to allow someone else to experience the natural consequences of their actions, even when it is painful for us both."  Courage for Change (p. 124)

May 2nd - Do it Myself Curse

The story...

My dad grew up as the oldest of eight kids during the depression.  Their family didn't have much and worked hard to care for each other.  Once he described, with a tear in his eye, what it was like for the last of the salted pork to be used up in late winter - "who wants to ask their neighbors for food?"  I remember him quoting his mother: "don't buy what you don't need, you might lose it someday."

I admired my dad's resourcefulness - he could do it himself.  So, my brother and I also do it ourselves - the principle was passed on even though we don't need to worry about running out of food this winter.  

Working out the "do it yourself" principle can seem like a curse when: you spend more money, your repair's less reliable, you lose valuable time, you don't allow others to help you, you fret over how you'll fix it without help, or you're overburdened with tools, materials, and spare parts.

"I might need that someday."

I'd rather be more self aware and realistic when: making purchase decisions, deciding when to ask for help, trusting others to do it for me, and assessing my true capabilities.  I want to be available to both give and receive help and love with others.  And, I want to focus my inner man on walking humbly with God in Christ in a more unencumbered way.   

The only church in town would invest their resources and time to both give and receive help and love with others.  In community, they'd walk humbly with God, in Christ, in an increasingly unencumbered way. 

Just for today...

"When I become willing to let go of the need to do it by myself, I can listen to others and receive direction from God."  Courage to Change (p. 123)

"Denial can be a shock absorber for the spirit.  I can respect and be grateful for that survival mechanism, but I'll not hang onto it longer than necessary"  Hope for Today (p. 123)

May 1st - Contentment

The story...

It's after church about 25 years ago. We're on our way to Grand Rapids for dinner and shopping as a family.  It's springtime, and I'm pumping gas into my "sporty" station wagon while feeling thankful that the windows were rolled up.  The bickering and complaining, coming from those in the car, was too much.  I noticed a guy whistling as he walked to the gas station.  I saw him go inside and come out with a candy bar.  He unwrapped the candy bar and took a bite - he was clearly happy and maybe even joyful.  He walked away with a sort of bounce in his step.  I got back into the car and felt discontentment.  Why?  I seemed to have more than he had - why wasn't I content?

I don't have to explain this story for you.  We know the answers.  Yes, we've met the enemy and they are us.

The only church in town would have an answer for finding contentment throughout our lives.  And, we'd witness that contentment worked out by others within their lives too.  We'd also witness a sense of calm within the inevitable storms.

Eugène Delacroix, 1853

Just for today...

"There are many areas of my life that I cannot change.  What I can change is my attitude. Today I can accept my life as it is.  I can be grateful and happy, here and now, with what I have."  Courage to Change (p. 122)

"If I believe in a Power greater than my own, it would be unreasonable for me to behave as though I were all-wise."  One Day at a Time (p. 122)

April 30th - Preventive Maintenance

The story...

I heard that a part on my car was likely to fail and potentially leave me stranded.  So, one Saturday I went to AutoZone to buy the replacement part and install it, in my driveway, that afternoon.   I imagined a fulfilling experience while listening to the Detroit Tigers - the repair would go the way I planned.  I could do it by myself.

"If it ain't broke don't fix it"  I turned around and met a man who'd given me this unexpected advice while waiting in the AutoZone line.  He heard me explain to the guy at the counter what I wanted and why I wanted it.  "When you loosen bolts, free it with a hammer, and take the wiring clips apart you change the system, create new problems, the unexpected happens..."  I thanked him, and the guy at the counter too, and left without the part.  I don't know if the part eventually failed, if I truly avoided the repair cost, or if  other problems might've truly been averted.

I'm so thankful that this man intervened in my life - he could have remained silent.  He also explained why he and his friends owned S10 pickups - they're a simple design, easy to understand, and easy to fix.  His friends worked together to solve their common problem - everybody needs a vehicle to get them from here to there.  He said that they got together most Saturdays to maintain their trucks and live life together too.

An S10

The group of guys, working on their S10s, was an "ecclesia."  Ecclesia is the Greek word for "a called out group of people."  The New Testament word, ecclesia, is translated as church in my Bible translation.  Does that mean that this guy and his friends were a church that met regularly and cared for each other?  How might the only church in town be better off if it were more like this group of S10 owners?  It sounds much better than working on my car by myself in my own driveway - hoping that things go well and relying on myself.

Just for today...

"When I put my experiences into words, they seem more real and  I am less likely to push them aside. As a result, I can often face problems when they are still only slight irritations and deal with them before they grow and take over."  Courage to Change (p. 121)

"On the rare occasions, I get a negative comment, I consider what I can learn and turn it over to God as something over which I have no control."  Hope for Today (p. 121)

April 29th - Be Patient with Me

The story...

The Patriarch Jacob seems to be a rascal whom God loved and favored.  Scripture says that God changed his name to Israel as he walked close to God.  He favored His people Israel on account of His love for Jacob.  Throughout scripture, God is patient with people groups and individuals as they work out their lives. 

We each have been created uniquely - needy and gifted.  I am so glad that God's people, who are models for our faith, are not do-gooders who never made a mistake - phew...  For me, real personal growth has been a slow process marked by step-function improvements, slow degrading drifts, and lasting growth that remains as part of my character.  A life that hopefully you and others can relate to.

Each person entering the only church in town will be different.  And, they will be within some phase of their life that'll likely change as life transforms them - fruitful and unfruitful alike.  The only church in town would show grace and patience with each person as they work out their life.  Hopefully, the attenders will be transformed into people who trust God, act justly, love kindness and walk humbly with God in Christ.  

Just for today...

"I grew up with guilt and blame . . . when past mistakes come to mind I tend to react with guilt, exaggerating the significance of my errors and thinking very badly of myself."  Courage to Change (p. 120)

"Unless we have first judged and condemned them for what they did, there would be no reason for us to forgive them."  One Day at a Time (p. 120)

April 28th - Father Knows Best

The story...

There was a radio, later tv, show called Father Knows Best.  It was popular, a theme of goodness for the 40's and 50's culture.  I'm glad that I had a dad who was trustworthy, knowledgeable, and lived with a code that provided a structure and boundaries for my growth.  He was a good man yet he didn't really know best - he knew good.  I'm so thankful that he was my dad.  He was a human who was created in the image of God yet he was blessed and flawed like the rest of us.

I thought that my dad was the best dad.  And, I remember the first time that I heard two of his sisters complaining about him, describing him negatively, while I was standing outside the door.  This occurred during the reception following my grandfather's funeral - the family's world was being torn asunder before "re-norming."  I was shocked and immediately distrusted his two sisters.  Yet, the experience opened the door to the idea that my dad was flawed.  "Might his sisters be right?"  

We know that everybody has strengths and weaknesses yet pride and suffering can move people toward isolation.  A response to rejection might be to grab your toys and go home - to isolate and protect self. 

When a person's isolation turns into brokenness, where do they go?  Who do they call?  I hope that they'd call, be invited to, or be brought to the only church in town.  There, they'd find the value of community - a community of hope!  Hope in their Father who does know what's best for His creation. He is "That Than Which There is No Greater."

Just for today...

"Praying for my will to be done often led me to pain, trouble and confusion . . . God sees the whole picture."  Hope for Today (p. 119)

"I could bring myself to a brighter view of life if I weren't always feeling sorry for myself; despair is often a mask for self-pity."  One Day at a Time (p. 119)

April 27th - Paddling Together

The story...

You're in a group that's planned to last about a year.  You get to know each other well with only a couple of months left.  When a deeper question arises, the group respectfully ponders it.  The guy who used to blurt out the answer feels comfortable with the silence.  The guy who didn't know what to say, and feared sharing, is quietly and peacefully pondering it too.  When a group member speaks up, the group listens and more naturally values the thoughts expressed from his inner man.  The sense of community feels great - we're growing together.  "One person says, lets all stay with each other next year too."  I'm currently enjoying my seventh year in a group like this.  I greatly value each of the seven groups and every member - I'm a better person because of our common life investments. 

Three years ago, I met a group member who was different then me in many ways yet we shared a common life struggle and the suffering that went with it.  We began meeting a few times per month and have continued for going on four years.  I greatly value our friendship, we both have grown to be better men, and our faith seems to have grown together.  It's kind of like we're walking together like Christian and Faithful walked through Pilgrim's Progress (John Bunyan, 1678).

Years ago, my best friend and I enjoyed a trip to the Boundary Waters on the border of Minnesota and Ontario.   We planned the trip with other's help, we geared up at the Canoe Outfitter and learned how to react to bear encounters as a group.  Yet, when we pushed off from the dock - we were on our own with only a map to guide us.  Pilgrims in a new territory that promised adventure, beauty, suffering, and catching fish for protein.  The portages were strenuous.  The four bear encounters were terrifying.  The moose encounters were humbling. The first dip of the paddle in the morning was serene. Relying on each other was bonding. The trip was really hard and really good.  Constantly wondering and anticipating, "what's around the bend?"  Strangely, we don't think that we would do it again yet greatly value the experience.

This Maine canoe outfitter says "Your Adventure Starts Here."

The only church in town will offer relationship opportunities at different levels - different relationships for different people within their season of life.   The full church, groups, friendships, close friendships, and most importantly their relationship walking humbly with God in Christ. The last affords the opportunity to make the first three types fruit bearing and worthy.

Just for today...

"Self-esteem grows when I love and accept myself as I am.  I block my own well-being each time I base my self-worth on what I do or what others think of me."  Courage to Change (p. 118)

 "When I heard the recording, I was immediately flooded with fear and apprehension . . . I pray that I may not fall into the error of anticipating trouble . . . If it should come, let me meet it with equanimity and love."  Hope for Today (p. 118)

April 26th - Humility

The story...

I was 23 years old and my feet hurt; so, I went to a podiatrist for help.  He explained that my body structure caused me to walk in a manner that caused pain.  He recommended I wear orthotics, to align my body, if I wanted to continue doing the things I liked to do.  I said: "Tell me how to walk right and I'll walk right."  The doctor paused, probably grimaced, and said: "Friend, you have another problem that's bigger than your feet."  

Micah 6:8 says that a good life is found walking humbly with God.  I expect that the admonishment is not to "try" to walk humbly with God, rather to "actually" walk humbly with God.  This transformation has to be a great work of God in a person's inner self - there's no way that I could make that kind of change on my own.  God did the work so that I might walk humbly with Him - an honest appreciation of self.  No matter how hard we try, we can't be good enough to walk closely and humbly/honestly with God - our sin nature and God's Holiness don't fit together - like oil and water.  Walking humbly with God... what a wonderful way to be.  Being as truthful with the reality of me as possible.

Tadeusz Gorecki, Humility

The only church in town would frequently present the gospel truth.  The person whose trusting in their own good works might hear, with surprise and great relief, about God's great work for us in Christ. They'd experience transformed people living out a right relationship with God in Christ.  Pilgrim, how's your life progressing?

Just for today...

"I've always had a prideful, exaggerated  sense of my abilities, assuming I could do anything and knew the right answers to everyone's questions . . .  I offended  many people with my opinionated, know-it-all manner . . . This new relationship with God, who knows best, invited me to rethink my position in life; it also invited me to consider the concept of humbleness."  Hope for Today (p. 117)

April 25th - 3rd Eye

The story...

A human resources guy's teaching a meeting facilitation class and I'm a student.  "If you're only looking through your own eyes then you're going to get a limited picture of what's really going on.  What would your third eye see from the top corner of the room?"  

What's really going on in the room?  We know it's impossible to truly know what's going on inside other people; yet, we can receive "tail tell" signs.  What would my third eye see?  The body language, nervous laughter, awkward silence, unexpected comments, beginnings of thoughts not fully expressed, inner-person conflicts working their way out...  Efforts to take my eyes off me and to open my awareness more fully to the bigger picture has helped me be a better facilitator.  As a facilitator, I'm more likely to "get it" and to help the group move toward fulfilling meeting goals.  

These awareness skills and habits take time to develop and require maintenance too.  They get rusty and need the oil can.  Dorothy opens her eyes to her surroundings and discovers a person who she hadn't really noticed before - she finds out that he has "heart" issues.

People would be noticed, valued, and listened to within the only church in town.  People with a loving nature would reach out to better understand the heart issues of others - the things that really matter.  They'd love their neighbor as themselves.  They'd aspire to love others as Christ loved because the Spirit of God indwells those who are His.

Just for today...

"I am introspective when I turn my spiritual energy inward to observe my actions, character, motives, and reactions.  The ensuing awareness helps me see behavior patterns that hold me back from being the person I want to be."  Hope for Today (p. 116)

April 24th - Judged and Rejected

The story...

In the early 1990s, a friend of mine shared an experiment that he tried - he was shocked at the results.  He was a big burly sort of guy who sang in his church choir.  He wore a magnetically attached earring on his left ear lobe one Sunday.  The behaviors and feelings that were overtly expressed by the group were strong and directed towards him.  He was rejected by the group without any words being shared.  I was fascinated by the story so I naively decided to give it a try myself.

I set up the scenario by bemoaning that I needed a change in my life for a few days.  Then I went to the mall with my young son and bought the magnetic earring.  I couldn't lie to my son so he was in on it.  When I walked into the door, the one who loves me most was shocked, doubted the reality, shocked again, doubted the reality again, and then finally, yet reluctantly, accepted this new change.  They were bruised when they realized it was fake and that I'd put them through the emotional anguish.

It was a different story with my siblings and parents.  I later regretted "trying" the same experiment on them.  My mother accepted it right away yet expressed worry about how other family members would react.  My brother curled up in a ball on the couch and rocked back and forth in disbelief.  I don't remember how my sisters reacted yet I think that they decided to wait it out.  My dad fully rejected me and indirectly shared a story about what happened to people like that in the Navy.  I was judged differently by different people.  Would I try an experiment like this again?  No, it wasn't fair to me or for them. I'd rather read about somebody else's experiment - it hurt all of us.

I'm hoping that the only church in town would welcome the whole community.  Oh, if those who were invited to enter the doors could feel the love of God expressed through those who are His...

Just for today...

"I must guard against judging others by my standards.  It means examining and improving those standards and living up to them myself."  One Day at a Time (p. 115)

April 23rd - Feelings

The story...

The songwriter must feel a sort of onus when they copyright a song with a title that's a word that means so much.  Morris Albert's 1975 song "Feelings" is one of those songs.  I'm glad that Morris' song was done well - you can feel it.

Thank you Ivan and Morris - well done.

Sure, the song was overplayed on the radio - many people complained about it.  Yet, I expect that the underlying problem is that people often don't know what to do with their feelings.  As you probably know, many people suppress them and have a difficult time acknowledging or expressing them.  It might start with that one real-strong feeling that you held back and buried.

Why not do periodic feeling checkups?  Are you feeling happy, fearful, sad, angry, shameful, or guilty?  If so, why?  Feelings are wonderful human sensing mechanisms that can help us better understand and more fully engage in life - kind of like a latent super hero's power.  With practice, we don't have to quickly react to them or hang onto them too long.  My 1992 T-group experience was formative for my emotional awareness - it provided evidence that we can be more emotionally intelligent and thereby live more fully - more in tune with what's going on.

Yes, the only church in town would have places, or groups, where congregants might work out their life more fully - appreciated for being the uniquely gifted person that we all are.  We're created in the image of God with feelings.

Just for today...

"As long as I kept them trapped inside me, my feelings were painful and poisonous secrets.  When I let them out, they became expressions of my vitality."  Courage to Change (p. 116)

"Just as prayer is my way of talking with God, meditation is my way of listening for direction."  Hope for Today (p. 116)

April 22nd - Sophomore Year

The story...

I moved my stuff into a new dorm room for my Sophomore year of college.  My new room and roommate were better.  I greatly valued the dorm floor community - especially the upper classmen that I'd looked up to and learned from.  They left - I felt an ache and missed them.  Yet, there were the excitable new Freshman who were ready to be treated as "adults" yet not ready, or able, to behave that way.

I was walking to lunch and I noticed a friends new roommate's name on his door.  I thought it said his last name was "Lordy" so I made a quick joke and we all laughed about it.  This new Freshman's nickname was "Lordy" thereafter.

Lordy was different from any person I'd known.  He was raised without the boundaries of a moral code that I was use to.  He did what he wanted to do.  His good looks, fun personality, lack of boundaries, and interest in almost everyone, led him into destructive "radical" patterns - his future seemed risky at best. 

For example, he'd read trade journals, that my dad gave me, rather than studying for tomorrow's exam - I didn't read the trade journals.  He rode home laying on the roof of a car, gazing at the stars, to feel something new.  He experienced deep short-term relationships with the girls that most guys dreamed of just being noticed by.  He tried things that were illegal without concern of risk.  He seemed to be a shooting star that'd burn out too soon.  I'm told that he later became an evangelist - a preacher!

"That Than Which there is No Greater" is in control and His will will be worked out whether we like it or not.  The story of Jonah and his call for the big city of Nineveh to turn from evil, so that God would relent from His planned destruction, is a great example.  Jonah didn't want God to save any from this enemy city.  Yet, God directed Jonah to proclaim that He would save them and He did - He saved all of them.  Why wouldn't God do the same thing for Jonah's people in Israel?  God's ways are not our ways nor His thoughts our thoughts.

The only church in town would be God's called out group of people.  They'd listen to God's revealed Word, believe it, and trust Him.

Just for today...

Consider reading the book of Jonah.  And, following up with Matthew 12:38-41.  Whoa!

"... we neither love nor hate those in whom we have no interest  . . . Love has a chance to flower in a shared life; hate is love twisted and warped by disillusionment and despair."  One Day at a Time (p. 113)

"We decide to place our will and our life in the hands of God.  We let go of burdens that were never ours to carry.  And we begin to treat ourselves more kindly and more realistically."  Courage to Change (p. 113)

April 21st - Opinions

The story...

"In my opinion, this is right because of A, B, and C; therefore, I'm right until you prove me wrong." There were at least a dozen different possible interpretations.  Some were more likely than others; yet, only one was true.

Opinions may be likened to barbed wire fences.  We may erect them to keep out the wrong people and the contaminating ideas that go along with them.  In reality, the fences can keep us isolated, narrow minded, stunted and "pricked" each time we bounce into them.

Many of the issues that Christians have with other Christians are related to opinions rather than scriptural or scientific facts.  Christianity and grace seem to go against the natural order of life that I've experienced.  I don't expect that I'd have searched or reasoned out truths about God without them being revealed in scripture.  The things that Jesus is quoted as having said seemed surprising to the people of their day and to me too.  Truly, God's ways are not my ways nor His thoughts my thoughts.

The fundamentals of Christianity are wonderful, operational, and freeing.  The only church in town would focus on working out the essentials while loving and respecting each individual member.

Just for today...

"My intolerance was rooted in two of my main character defects - fear and insecurity.  My opinions were inseparable from my self-image.  If my opinions were wrong, I was wrong.  If my philosophy wasn't good enough, I wasn't good enough."  Hope for Today (p. 112)

"With this solid foundation of love and support, our individual differences can only make us richer as a whole."  Courage to Change (p. 112)

April 20th - Growing Together

The story...

Early in my career, I learned a simulation programming language that only one other person in my workplace knew.  We were simulating, or programming, the reality of manufacturing processes in a way that we could better understand how the processes behaved.  A validated model could be used to predict how changes to the process, system, or environment would affect/effect real outcomes.  I worked through my dynamic "modeling" problems, during non--work hours, yet had nobody to talk them through with until we met again the next morning.  Sure, I could call the software help line but their help wasn't the same.  We needed each other.  And, we grew together by modeling reality together.  We were the only ones in the organization that could understand the language.  We experienced models that worked and those that didn't - together.

Self disclosure came easy to me yet close friendships did not - they take work.  I know that it feels good for me to talk out my thoughts - the unresolved.  Thoughts seem to come together into a more understandable, clearer, and actionable way when they see the light of day.  It sure helps if the person, that I am sharing with, wants to understand me and values our relationship too.

Your pet could be the one that you work out your thoughts with.  They certainly can be attentive, appreciative, readily available, and safe too.  Might it be better to tell a trusted friend than a pet?  

Tulips - Like Friendships? 😊

The only church in town would be the place where friends could share the reality of their common faith in Christ worked out in the actualities of life.  It seems good that they'd have opportunities to develop trusted friend(s) through whom they might more fully work out their life together - the successes and the suffering too.

Just for today...

"'Let Go and Let God,' and turn my problems over to God?  Wasn't I expected to solve my own and everyone else's problems, have all the answers, and support the behavior patterns, no matter how destructive?  How could I keep my family together?"  Hope for Today (p. 111)

"Sometimes I have to fight the old urge to keep quiet at all costs, but I have found that sharing is the key to healing. . . By sharing honestly with people I trust, I challenge the old, negative ideas."  Courage to Change (p. 111)

April 19th - Lowered Expectations

 The story...

I worked out much of my life as the idealist.  "It's not good the way things are and they should be different."  My "idealistic" ideas seemed virtuous; yet, in my limited understanding, didn't work themselves out well in the light of day.  There seemed to be more negative outcomes than positive - I know that I wasn't comfortable serving within some board member roles.  My "idealistic" presence may have hindered God's Hand in the development of the good church that might meet people's needs as they actually are.

There're reasons for why things are the way they are.  The status quo is meeting needs in ways that we aren't aware of or maybe even able to understand.  Our ways are not God's ways and our thoughts are not His thoughts.  It seems, He has plans that require building some up, slowly teaching some, breaking some down, calling some to faith, asking some to take a first step, sequencing events for a great work, or even generating dissatisfaction so people move out in different directions.

Are you ready to pack up and move on?

I expect the only church in town would have the advantage of not needing to clarify and magnify their distinctive differences as compared to the other church alternatives.in town.  They'd focus on the God-revealed truth that all people are living under a sin curse - original sin.  That sin separates all people from our most holy God and Creator.  God performed the great sacrificial work on our behalf - nothing required from us but faith in what Christ alone has already done.  Faith in the reality that we're redeemed as a new creature - redeemed and adopted into God's family in Christ.  Wow!

Just for today...

"I've learned that I have the ability to adjust my expectations so that I no longer set myself up for constant disappointment."  Courage to Change (p. 110)

"When I first stopped trying to fix other people, I turned my attention to 'curing myself'."  Hope for Today (p. 110)

Read and own Ephesians chapter 2.  Use a different translation if what you read doesn't make sense to both your mind and your inner person.  Please don't quit until you've grasped these wonderful truths about who we are in Christ - then hold on! 

April 18th - Be that Friend

The story...

A guy, with black glasses and an afro hair style, invited me over to his house - it was the kind of action that can develop a friendship.  The friendship lasted long enough for me to learn how to juggle.  Starting with two balls in one hand, then three balls, then three different types of objects, and eventually juggling three balls back and forth with my new friend.

My juggling skills have brought me joy throughout my life.  I'm thankful to that kid, in high school, who made the effort to become a friend with me.

I hope that every person within the only church in town would have at least one close friend.  The kind of friend that you can walk through life with, be vulnerable or less guarded with, and grow together.  Friendships are great yet they aren't necessary or permanent.  They're worth the risk and effort.  Why not ask that potential friend over to juggle today?

Just for today...

"I had to give what I wanted to receive and become what I wanted to attract. . . As I grew kinder and more loving, other people responded to the change. . . Today I can take an active role in fulfilling my needs.  I can choose to become someone I would want to have in my life."  Courage to Change (p. 109)

"Much of my present insanity stemmed from my inability to accept and feel compassion for myself because of my past choices and behaviors . . . I am turning my painful history into today's blessings and strengths."  Hope for Today (p. 109)

April 17th - Try Giving Up Trying

The story...

Dale Carnegie wrote the book "How to Win Friends & Influence People."  I'm not a big fan of self-help books but this one's a gem.  Self-help books often teach ways that people are asked to "try" to be better - ways they aren't capable of following due to inherent personal flaws.  For me, "do" is a much better word than "try" - "try" suggests that failure's a likely outcome.

I've read, and listened to, Carnegie's book about ten times. It's crazy good and helpful.  I've found myself thinking on and "doing" his suggestions throughout my life with good result.

One of my favorite characters in the book is Teddy Roosevelt.  He knew each of the White House servants by name. The night before a person visited the White House would find him reading about what was most interesting to the visitor.  If the boy was interested in sailboats then he read about sailboats.  Those people loved him back and Teddy grew and grew to become...  

The only church in town would be characterized by love.  A growing love within the umbrella of the Spirit of Christ.  Congregates, within this Body of Christ, would increasingly listen and love as they "do" or work out the reality of their lives as individuals and together too within community - actually interested in, listening to, and caring for each other..

Just for today...

"My best efforts to be noticed, listened to, appreciated, and loved were failing. . . As I focused my actions on a loving principle, my character defect of craving attention from people who couldn't give it was removed."  Hope for Today (p. 108)

"If the group's plans seem designed to benefit the greatest number of people, I can usually support them.  I don't mean that I ignore my own needs and feelings - I express them.  But others have needs too, and I must respect them."  Courage for Today (p. 108)

April 16th - Love Yourself Already- "It's the power of ..."

The story...

It was later in my life when I first heard a respected person say that I needed to love myself before I could fully love others.  The same message was likely dispatched to me at an earlier age but I clearly didn't receive it.  I know I heard the second greatest commandment: "... love your neighbor as yourself."  This is a core tenant of Judeo-Christianity; so, why was this so hard to first comprehend?

I knew that loving others was a virtue but loving "me" sounded like a selfish or proud man's bane.  And, I knew that I was flawed in ways that we surely want to keep to ourselves if we expect to be accepted by others.

Yes, I accepted that I'm fully loved by God and can love me too.  Quiet meditation after my "normal" prayers, with my thinker in the back seat, is a time where actually being loved can be realized.

People will find true freedom within the only church in town.  They'll grow to love themselves and their neighbors too.  Scripture says we're made in the image of God and that God loves us so much that His Son redeems the full sin burden for those who are His.   With our sins covered by the blood of Christ, we're empowered to walk humbly and vicariously with God - loved.  Might that be part of the good life that continues on into eternity?

I ain't never going back to that old, commiserating, crappy, selfish life where people wallow in their sin, polish their medals, compare themselves to others, and "try" to please those who couldn't care less.  I will to keep my eyes less on me and more on others.  I want to be in tune with what's really going on and experience being loved and loving too.

Just for today...

"I always expected my happiness to come through others, especially my . . .  parents.  I spent most of my life waiting for them to show their love and approval in a way that I could understand.  They didn't, and I felt deprived and unlovable as a result. . . The only person wo can love me the way I want to be loved is me."   Courage to Change (p. 107)

April 15th - Tax Day

The story...

The Holland State Park improvement plan was approved in 2010.  It happened whether we liked it or not.  I liked the park the way it was; yet, I like it better now.

One of the changes was the removal of a large number of cotton wood trees in the old parking lot.  I met a woman, while visiting the park, that expressed great anguish and anger over the thought of these trees being cut down.  She claimed that she was working diligently to stop this horrible change from happening.  She seemed physically drained by the dread of the impending change - it happened anyway.

I'm so thankful that I respected leadership's decision and their plan.  I didn't comment much about their decisions and weathered the disruptive steps of the improvement process.  There was much unexpected goodness in those changes - for me and others too.

Politicians who implement their vision for the future, sold during the campaign, are alright with me.  Certainly, they need to work with, and through, others to bring ideas into fruition.  Then we, the represented, can evaluate the results - good, marginal, or bad.   Then, in an iterative way, we build better government and communities too.

Many people complain about paying their taxes - not me.  I stand thankful for my freedom, safety, justice, property rights, care for the poor, shared facilities, parks, road system, public transportation, and all those who serve our communities.

The only church in town would treat their community leaders with respect.  (NASB, Romans 13:1-7)

Just for today...

"All bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and slander must be removed from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you."(NASB, Ephesians 4:31-32)

April 14th - Stinking Thinking

The story...

When things were going bad at work, I'd here myself saying "I'm going to quit..."  I even replayed that same mental tape after I'd left that company and moved on.  Stinking thinking seems to be recorded on a set of virtual tapes that I'm able to replay unconsciously.  Sounds like I am, or was, a victim of "stinking thinking."

Proverbs 23:7 says "as a man thinks, so he is."  I expect that most of us would agree with this verse yet some may feel they're victims to their past, limitations, other people, and life circumstances.  They're left with no choice - they've lost their opportunity for happiness.  How can they think differently about their same reality?

If you aren't satisfied with your thinking, you might research Joni Eareckson Tada's life reality, read about Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret, or listen to what Thomas Merton experienced in  "No Man is an Island."  Yet, scripture says that we must be redeemed or renewed - true freedom from "self" and self's "stinking thinking."

Haven't read - title seems "right on."

The only church in town will point all to the Christ and the gospel truth about Who He is, what He's provided for each of us, and How we can be redeemed - brought close to Him (NASB, 1 Corinthians 15: 1-11). 

Just for today...

"When 'stinking thinking' takes hold of me, I must do more than just dismiss the negative thoughts. . . Today I'm going to pay close attention to what I tell myself.  If necessary, I'll stop in mid-thought, start over, and replace negative illusions with positive truths."  Courage to Change (p. 105) 

April 13th - Renewal

The story...

The epic human story is about creation, curse, toil, patience, love, mercy, grace, warnings, repentance, relenting, judgment, and renewal.   Retelling the story must include the Author and Creator - "That than Which There is No Greater."  It seems that the question of the fairness of reality must be paired with the question as to whether God's thoughts can be our thoughts - they can't.

The Old Testament and New Testament speak of renewal.  The renewal of all things.  There will be an all knowing, loving, ruler who will administer perfect justice.  All people offered the safe and blessed hope of renewal.

Spring is a time that shouts renewal.  The annual growth plan awaits the earth's tilt on it's axis so that the sun shines more on our hemisphere - warms us up.  New life and beauty will surely "pop"- renewal!

The only church in town will have parts of the Easter renewal message preached frequently.   All men will hear about our renewal in Christ - freedom from the bondage of self rule and condemnation.  Then they might walk peacefully and joyfully among the tulips - no need to tip toe.  Even the inevitable sufferings of life will bring them closer to their Savior and Redeemer.  Praise God for springtime and renewal.

Just for today...

"Whether I accept or turn down a request, agree or disagree with someone's point of view, I can still treat the other person with respect and courtesy.  I can say, 'No,' as gently an lovingly as I can say, 'Yes'."  Courage to Change (p. 104)

"I always acted on my anxiety, and I was forever reacting.  Most times my reactions came in the form of blaming, running, or freezing.  When I blamed others, I didn't have to feel my deep sense of shame."  Hope for Today (p. 104)

"Keep in mind that we can live only in the present and that all the rest of life is either past or uncertain." One Day at a Time (p. 104)