February 2nd - Hoping for Love

The story ...

I remember walking up to the door of my seventh-grade Sunday-school room.  The girl that I secretly loved was with a friend who she seemed to identify with.  The friend asked me to show them my fingernails.  I paused before extending my open hand and fingers with my palm facing the linoleum floor.  They both broke out laughing - "you're like a girl!  Guys show their nails as a fist with palm up."  I was secretly crushed, likely tried to pretend I wasn't affected, yet I must have emoted my internal reality.  My secret search for love was publicly dashed.  I added a few plates to my personal armor to guard against that from ever happening again.  Oh... the pain of rejection - my wounded heart!

The church where the scene played out.

How might the one church in town have helped me?  My Sunday school teacher might have noticed my behavior change. Someone might have realized that I had no best friend at church.  As some aptly describe, I felt like I was alone on an island yet surrounded by people.  My parents forced me to go to some of the youth meetings - I didn't engage.  I became cynical and critical about the group that rejected me.  

In High School, I got a job that allowed me to miss every other Sunday service. I tried to bring order and meaning into my life without God's help. I didn't even know that a right relationship with God was possible.

Thoughts for the day ...

"So I continued to hide and did not accept who I really was."  Hope for Today (p. 33)

"Today, being humble means climbing down from the ladder of judgement of myself and others, and taking my rightful place in a worldwide circle of love and support . . . My thoughts are my teachers.  Are they teaching me to love and appreciate others, or are they teaching me to practice isolation?"  Courage to Change (p. 33)

February 1st - Imagining the Only Church in Town

The story ... 

Sixth grade was the year that I felt most secure as a person within society. The school had a sort of code or ethos that I understood and the teachers did a pretty good job of controlling the environment and behavior according to the stated and unstated code. The principal was the enforcer.

Most sixth graders knew that they better guard themselves from the hurt inflicted by other "Selfs" or they'd suffer - If they didn't learn it by sixth grade then they certainly learned it when they moved on to middle school. It's an easier road to think and act like the group - do groupthink. For me, academics came easy and I was able to work in an around the rules to safely be the unique person I was - our class was the oldest and most capable within the whole school - we had it made in sixth grade.

The building that was once my sixth grade home

There are so many questions that I had when growing up that I assumed that my parents, teachers, or pastor could answer - if I could just sit still and learn.  For me, disillusionment began in Junior High School. They didn't have all the answers and I felt on my own.

I imagine the only church in town spending less time talking about the doctrines that “we” believe and more time focusing on what scripture teaches us about Him, me, and us.  There would be groups of people, within the community, that would work out their faith together – groups that could be a bit less guarded and open among the safety of their friends. 

Just for today ... 

We are powerless over other human beings.  Yet many of us act like little gods when attempting to exert our will to “help” them conform to our ideas of what is best for ‘em. 

When I change my behavior for the better, the behaviors of those around me are more likely to grow. 

January 31st - Daily Feet Washings

The story...

I've a hard time rubbing, let alone washing, my own feet - I was born inflexible.  If I work at stretching for about six months, my stretchability is similar to what a more normal person might enjoy.  Six months is six times longer than the one month it seems to take for my muscles to return back to their more normal state of inflexibility. 

Like most or all people, I was also born with a selfish sort of nature.  I cooperated with others while I focused on working out a safe and comfortable life that I could be proud of.  Although I was primarily motivated by a need to be loved, I wanted to win in the game of life and associate with people who might help me along the way.  Since most humans seem to have a similar nature, I learned to be more flexible with my interpersonal interactions and relationships.

Strangely, even the Lord Jesus the Christ's disciples exhibited selfishness and pride as they argued about who was best at the last supper before Jesus was crucified (Luke 22:24).  Yes, we're all able to exhibit this selfish sort of nature.  On the same night of the disciples argument, He knelt down and washed each of the twelve's feet.  When it was Peter's turn, he resisted this feet washing by his Lord.  Jesus replies "If I do not wash you, you have no part in Me" (John 13:8).  He goes on to let let Peter know that he's clean yet needs to wash off the "dirt" of daily life to stay "clean" and right in his relationship with God.  Jesus washed Peter's feet knowing, and sharing with Peter too, that Peter would publicly disown Him three times before the rooster crowed.  Yes, Peter would need his feet washed again.

Christ Washing the Disciples' Feet - Tintoretto 1548-1549

The only church in town will preach the need to live a righteous life in Christ.  One that's able to bear fruit in all circumstances.  That means confessing sin, washing the daily dirt off our feet, to restore our close relationship with our Holy Father through Christ.

Just for today...

"With a new and sincere humility, I asked God to remove my shortcomings . . . I want to be ready for shortcomings to be removed, and I will do what I can to prepare. I can develop a non-judgmental awareness of myself, accept what I discover, and be fully willing to change. But I lack the power to heal myself.  Only God can do that."  Courage to Change (p. 31)

January 30th - Stinking Thinking

The story...

About twenty years ago, my assigned Human Resources representative and I were discussing ongoing problems within my work group that she characterized and labeled as "stinking thinking."  Then she said something like: "They need a leader to help them: remember past successes and celebrate new ones, know they're capable; feel valued; serve each other; view problems as opportunities; test new ways often; learn alongside others habitually; respect each other... - then they'll engage and be the best version of themselves together.  As their manager and leader, what's your part in making this happen?"

What did I do differently?  Focused on demonstrating RESPECT for all work group members in word and deed.  Played together more often - a Friday afternoon paint-ball session helped build teamwork.  Learned more about each group member and what/who was important to them.  We solved interpersonal disputes quickly in more sustainable ways - they knew that they'd be working it out in my office, and even bring in H.R. help, if they didn't work it out together.  There were many positive changes that we made together; yet, much of the change started with me being a better leader and manger.

Yes, there was some stinking thinking going on within me that was strangely reflected within the group's interactions, behaviors, and performance together.  I started with "me" rather than attempting to craft plans to fix the problems that I could identify with "them."  The resulting changes in what we did, and who we were, were worthy of the transformation investment.  I became a better leader, manager, and person as a result of the growing that we worked out together - in community.

The only church in town will easily find fault within each other as they worship, praise, learn, grow, and serve together.  Real change and growth will occur when they internalize the value of the slogan "let the change begin with me."  The gospel will offer the opportunity for each person to be a new creature in Christ - the intended version of you.  Then each person, and the group as a whole, can be free "in deed." (Galatians 5:1).

Just for today...

"I watched, monitored, controlled, and exercised my need to feel hurt. I felt self-pity, embarrassment, superiority, resentment, and anger.  All of these took obsessive turns filling my mind and heart. I wondered why I indulged in these draining  behaviors and emotions, which only resulted in further misery for me."  Hope for Today (p. 30)

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come."  1 Corinthians 5:17 (NASB)

January 29th - Was I nagging?

The story...

About two years ago, a fellow group member read from the Courage to Change daily reader which I've partially quoted below.  They made the claim, that they realized that their repetition of "advise," to those that they cared about, was really a thinly veiled attempt to fix, manage, and control the person whom they "cared" for.  The repeated messages implied that they didn't trust the "subject" with their own life.  Their relationship was like a  co-dependent entanglement that stunted needed growth for both parties.

When I heard her share, I was quickly convicted of a self-defeating behavior.  Why did I continue attempts to drive home my messaging?  They may have missed what I said so I repeated it in a slightly different way or tone?  They didn't seem to receive it well so I made the appeal a bit more persuasive? They didn't give me the feedback that I expected so I repeated?  Yes, I was attempting to fix, manage, or control them and they likely tuned me out.  I expect that their options were to remain co-dependent on me or to act the "rebel" and reject me and my messaging.  Strangely, I frequently acted out the role of the "rebel" when confronted with efforts to control or manipulate me.

What did I truly want for those I cared for?  Did I want them to live protected lives, like in a "zoo," or to live freely in the "jungle" of the actualities of real life?  Are the controllers imagining the freedom of others like a sort of Tarzan - out of control and heading for disaster?

The only church in town will value people moving from dependence, on their care givers, to capable-independent adults.  Clearly, moving from dependence to independence is good, yet we aren't complete on our own - the only church in town will profess the value of living in community.  The community that God offers, in-Christ, has been essential for this rebel's transition from a self-protecting/promoting one to a fruit-bearing life.  I'm free from the bondage of my old self in Christ - I'm not going to live in a self-protecting "cage" again.  Why would I strive to cage another?

Just for today...

"If I repeatedly make similar suggestions or ask prodding questions again and again, I am probably trying to control. If I am satisfied only when the other person responds in a way I consider desirable - agrees with what I've said or takes my advice - then I know I've lost my focus."  Courage to Change (p. 29)

"I have no right to deprive anyone else of the challenge of meeting his own responsibility."  One Day at a Time (p. 29)

"It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery."  Galatians 5:1 (NASB)

January 28th - How can you give $20 if it ain't in your pocket?

The story...

Once upon a time, I made an effort to be a more generous person - I saw people in need throughout my travels yet I hadn't purposed to give nor did I have the resources with me.  I reasoned that I was most likely to help people in need if I had USA currency in my wallet that was ready and designated for giving.  So, I began the habit of carrying four or five twenties for gifting.  My habit lasted for about a year; yet, I didn't give away many $20 bills.  

Carrying the money didn't open my eyes, heart, and habits enough to recognize, decide and go through the process of giving cash to help alleviate needs and offer love.  My effort to give money was about as clunky as that last sentence.  Maybe it was because my eyes primarily were focused on me - self?

Although that experiment didn't last, it did teach me more about myself and how I might better work out my life.  I believe that my heart is good and that people, in general, know that I care about them.  Yet, I've got to be true to who I actually am.  

This reminded me of my purpose statement for this blog that continues to be true:

Those who know me well might describe me as a life-long learner who values honesty and integrity. A story teller who loves working out his life with and through other people. As I progress through life, I continue to appreciate both my strengths and flaws. I know that I need to work out my life alongside other pilgrims in order to be a good actor in this epic story of life. Yet, the idea of being an actor is detestable. I wake up each day purposing to be the man I truly am. Ohh... to work out every minute within God's will - bearing fruit.

The only church in town will help you work out you natural talents and gifts in community.  There, you will hear about the Spirit of Christ that indwells His "believers."  He produces fruit within those who are His.  You can't work, or try, to muster up that kind of fruit through your own efforts.  Yet, you can truly bear His fruit of: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-in a way that will be unique to the person you were created to be.  That's the good stuff in life that I expect we'll all hunger for after our first taste.

Just for today...

"I cannot give to anyone else something I don't have. I learn to love myself enough to seek my own healing.  When I can love myself as I am, I'm better able to accept the human limitations of all God's other children."  Hope for Today (p. 28)

January 27th - Our journey from third base to home plate.

The story...

I've often thought about my progression through life as if on a baseball diamond.  0-22 gets me to first base; 23-45 gets me to second base; 46-70 gets me to 3rd base; and 71-?? gets me home.  Much of my behavior seems to want to delay stepping on third base.  I'm working hard to improve my flexibility,  mobility, strength, mind, activity to delay stepping on that bag - why?

Someone, who I loved, recently stepped onto home plate and they're gone now.  My memories remain; but, they're gone.  They'd even lost much of their memory before they stepped onto home plate.  What's there to look forward to on that straight path from 3rd to home plate?

I've been told that I should avoid lists within this blog; yet, I'm again compelled to list the most important parts of life that I look forward to during that final stretch.  Here are my top 12 in alphabetical order.

• Accepting love from care givers and offering love too.
• Enjoying the meal God's set before me rather than merely discussing or learning about it.
• Fellowshipping with God in Christ more continuously.
• Focusing my mind and heart on actualities rather than fiction.
• Interacting peacefully - forgiving and apologizing as needed.
• Investing in good living and God honoring initiatives.
• Loving the Lord my God with all my heart mind and soul and loving my neighbor as myself.
• Meeting the present reality with thankfulness.
• Moving my aching body where God and I will.
• Offering my hope, life lessons, and assets to others.
• Praising God.
• Remembering the faithfulness of God.

Let's keep the end in mind.

Just for today...

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith..."  2 Timothy 4:7 (NASB)

January 26th - Did BRAGG have the secrets of living the "good" long life?

The story...

In the 1980's, my grandmother shared a guide that she found helpful and supportive of the good life that she planned to work out in her latter years.  She may've been questioning the reliability of the author's advise when she shared it with me - I remember being more than a tad skeptical.  I do know that she walked to the mailbox, about a mile round trip every day, to stay in the necessary shape to live alone in her farm house.  I expect that she wanted to pass on her passion and commitment for staying physically well and active throughout life - she gave me her underlined copy with her name written in the front - I doubt she bought another copy.

Paul C. Bragg - Life Extension Specialist

Paul C. Bragg claimed he had the secrets for living the good healthy life yet his credentials and claims are suspect.  His reality doesn't seem to warrant being the object of a man or woman's faith.

The only church in town will introduce you to their Lord and Savior Jesus the Christ - the Messiah.  He has the the credentials and the power of resurrection - true victory over death.  I hope that He is or will be the object of your faith.

Just for today...

"For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons and daughters of God. For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons and daughters by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him."  Romans 8:14-17 (NASB)

January 25th - "Try" to be better or "be" better?

The story...

Trying to: elongate my spine, strengthen my "core," stretch all those muscles, perform new exercises, and adapt to my lumbar-caused pain seems never ending.  Sometimes, I feel like I've lost my way and need encouragement from my physical therapist.  She's serious when she tells me that she doesn't want to hear "I can't" anymore - she wants to hear "I can."  She directed me to keep a log of what I did, how long I did it, and how much "new" muscle pain or "old" nerve pain I felt.  This cause-and-effect analysis is meant to record how long I was doing my suspected cause of pain and what I did to alleviate it - a clearer look at the reality of my condition and coping methods.

It's true that my body's getting older and will likely require me to periodically adapt in order to move and live as I wish to, or need to, without assistance.  Yet, I don't want my "body" focus to be my primary focus.  I don't plan on giving up yet I'd rather not try so hard.  I hope to develop a physical fitness routine that will sustain me throughout the next 20 years.

Over the last 25 years of my personal and work life, "try" has been and evil word in regards to personal commitments.  I prefer to focus on what you or I commit to actually do.  It seems that the same idea applies here.

The only church in town will focus more on who we are and what we do than our physical condition.  Yes, they will focus on the condition of our souls.  Strangely God doesn't ask us to "try" and be a better person either.  He asks that we receive His provision for our past misdeeds and trust Him to change our inner-person to be more like the ideal that was displayed in the life of His Son.  They call it the process of sanctification that He works out in us as we abide in Him - He does the heavy lifting. 

He's a really good Father.  I'm so... thankful that He did a great work for and within me.  The only church in town will focus on our being who we are in Christ with little emphasis on trying to be something we ain't.

Just for today...

"I found that I was overly interested in others because I had such a low opinion of myself."  Courage to Change (p. 25)

"Bad habits and compulsions cannot be conquered by determined resolutions or promising ourselves that we won't go on doing this or that . . . I  stopped trying to force myself to eliminate my faults when I found it didn't work."  One Day at a Time (p. 25)

"I was raised to be industrious and goal oriented. Today I am discovering what play means."  Hope for Today (p. 25)

January 24th - Do you look at your car manual - is it the right manual?

The story...

The car manuals that I received with my Subaru are at least 3" thick.  I rarely look at the manuals yet have a few times - they're helpful.  Normally, I'll go to a search engine to find: my windshield wiper lengths, the right light bulb, or how to replace the cabin air filter.  Yet, sometimes I need to learn about the car and I'm not really sure what to ask.  Then, I go to the manual to learn about the car - often I'm surprised of what I didn't know.

Once upon a time,  I purchased a new dishwasher and installed it myself.  I actually gathered the family and we took turns reading the manual.  We actually learned what all the buttons did and how to most efficiently and effectively load the dishwasher.  It was such an odd thing to do as a family that most of us still remember the day we learned about the dishwasher.  I still load the dishwasher the same way that we learned that day.

Are we so self reliant that we don't need to learn from anyone else - even the designers and manufacturers of the products that we purchased to serve us?  Our bodies didn't come with a manual and much of the stuff inside me remains a mystery to me.  I don't even know the vocabulary for most of my inner parts let alone how they actually function and interact.  It seems that some of us don't like to be taught anything unless we're forced to.

This is my 357th daily post to this blog.  When printed, it will likely be as thick as my Subaru manuals.  What'll I do with the completed book?  Will I continue to edit or add to it?  Will it sit on a table at my memorial service unread?  Is my manual so different than everyone else's that it won't be applicable?  The writing process and results have certainly been helpful and joyful for me - it's helped me to be more grounded in reality.

The only church in town will study and apply the manual for living out a good and righteous life.  I've learned that the manual writers were directed to write according to the Creator's wishes.  He wishes that we know enough about Him and what's going on inside of us to seek, trust and obey Him.  Why?  So that we can be free of the entanglements of sin, bear fruit, enjoy loving relationships, and live out a right relationship with God throughout our days under the sun; "now and forevermore."

Just for today...

"I will dare to be myself . . . I will be honest with myself as I do so - I will not pretend to feel what I do not feel or to want what I do not want . . . I can only learn to love myself if I am willing to learn who I am."  Courage to Change (p. 24)

January 23rd - Reality seen by the light of the sun and Son

The story...

My lower-back pain, caused by pinched nerves and sore muscles, is real and personal.  I behave in a way that I "think" works for me.  I feel the results and compensate in a manner that I expect best relives the discomfort while allowing me to do what I want to do.  Yet, sometimes a muscle will be sore from my stretching, exercising, or doing what I do - then I tend to stop and wait to feel better. 

When my routine doesn't work anymore - I ask a doctor for help.  They perform an MRI to observe the hidden reality.  They show me the amount of spinal stenosis, disc bulging and protrusion, positioning, arthritis formations, damaged parts, and joint wear that naturally occur over time.

Ideal spinal alignment & posture

In January, my back surgeon recommended that I try epidural shots and physical therapy to help restore me to active duty.  I was hopeful for the shots but had little hope for the therapy.  I was discouraged - I wanted the surgeon to just fix me and restore me to "normal."

My physical therapist is speaking a new reality to me from different perspectives.  She's coaching and encouraging me to change my routine, habits, and understanding of how my body really works.  She's shinning new light on the reality of my body, routines, habits, and physical condition.  I trust her even though a back muscle is sore today as I'm readying for a new therapy session.

I expect that we'd all agree that self reflection at the beginning of our morning and at the end of the day would be good for us.  It's likely that we would also agree that looking at our lives from different perspectives other than our limited selves would be good too.  Imagining a reality, that's different then what's actually going on, might provide some temporary mental comfort yet reality wins in the end.

Self reflection and a desire to know and understand our reality is a wonderful human capability that we can choose to exercise - we can also ignore it.  The only church in town will encourage you to see reality from multiple perspectives within community and more importantly from the reality revealed by our God - our creator.  He made us the way we are and has provided for our freedom in this life and for the eternity to come too - He's the object of my faith.  

Just for today...

"I choose to accept the reality of my life. I am moving in a healthy direction, growing ever more able to live a good life and to love those I meet along the way."  Courage to Change (p. 23)

January 22nd - My favorite old pants...

The story...

Meet my favorite pants.  They're old, frayed, stained, fit right, sturdy, unlabeled, and drab.  I can do most anything wearing these pants; though, they aren't welcome where people expect me to "dress for the occasion."  I've purchased replacements; but, they didn't seem the same.  I like that old and familiar heavyweight-duck-canvas cotton and the stains and frays too.

Will there come a day when I must get rid of the pants?  We all know the answer although I sometimes pretend otherwise.

I wonder where my old pants will go today?  Will I put them in the Aquatic Center locker to wait while I swim?  Will they participate in replacing the faucet and trying again to fix the Impala's power seats? Will I put a nicer shirt on and wear them to my men's group tonight?  Will I hang them up next to my dress pants - NO!  They don't have to look nice - I like 'em just the way they are.

You may feel a need to dress up, to be a better version of yourself, when you attend the only church in town.  Yet, God is graceful and desires a relationship with you just as you are - humble, honest, okay and unpretentious.  Remember, He is the one Who created you as you are.  He makes no mistakes and has offered the way to atone for your sin defects through our Lord Jesus the Christ's sacrifice.

No, I likely will not actually wear these pants to a Sunday Morning Service.  And, I do enjoy cleaning up and wearing pants with fewer defects when worshipping, praising, learning, and fellowshipping together.  Yet, it sure is great to know that I'm loved by Him - just as I am.

Just for today...

"What we pray for may not be what is best for us. We are only able to see a little way, and our vision is clouded by our present situation and daily happenings and distractions."  One Day at a Time (p. 22)

"I focused on the character defects of those around me. My need to be perfect fed into my preoccupation with others . . . I am still learning to treat myself with gentleness, kindness, and love. I'm still learning that I cannot change those around me, but I can change how I treat them - with dignity and respect."  Hope for Today (p. 22)

"When I found him on the floor, I still didn't help him into bed. But I did put a blanket over him before stepping over his body and going to bed myself. This, to me, was detachment with love."  Courage to Change (p. 22)

January 21st - Who's your daddy?

The story...

Thankfully, my back surgeon recommended Celebrex, epidural steroid injections and therapy, rather than surgery, to return my body to a more normal "I can go an do what I want to" state.   The Celebrex worked as expected, the injection process was relatively easy with questionable benefits, and the therapy was a real surprise.

"What physical therapist would you recommend in my home town?"  They didn't have a recommendation - they gave me a prescription for either four or six weeks and said we'll meet again in four months.  I took a look at the therapy room in the Aquatic Center, where I'd been swimming for about two months, and scheduled an appointment with the only therapist there.  

I've met with the young-woman therapist for two weeks and my interactions and results have thus far surpassed my expectations.  I didn't choose her, I chose the location and facility.  I trusted her and have done, pretty much, everything that she directed me to do.  "We" are working on limitations that have affected effects in me throughout my whole life.  I'm so optimistic - "Yahoo!"

If I were to have selected a therapist from a lineup of candidates, I likely wouldn't have selected her.  I might've looked at age, sex, height, personality, education, experience...   I'm so thankful that I came in with a need, was honest in every interaction, sought to understand before being understood, listened to her diagnosis rather than my own related thoughts, and trusted her.  Yes, I don't want to be naive so I've tested her a couple of times and each time her response confirmed that she has my best interest at heart.  She's a human with limited understanding but I'm relying on her to get better.  She's sought to understand me better too and has set expectations of a sustainable solution that will work with my habits, preferences, life style, and hopes for the future.

Whose your daddy?

I especially like her direct style of communication and therapy interventions where she moves me forward during our short 1/2 hour appointments.  She appears to be committed to helping me regardless of my responses and peculiarities.  I'm so... thankful for her.  In fact, when I grow up, I want to be more like her.

The only church in town's object of faith will be the Messiah, their Lord and Savior Jesus the Christ whose great sacrificial work provides the way to a righteous relationship with God our Father.  There's a lot packed into that sentence.  Why not go to the only church in town and learn more about what's really going on within the rest of your life and the eternity to come?

Just for today...

"It is only by taking offense at what others do that I will be afflicted with resentment. If I feel that what I am doing is right, I will not be dependent on the admiration or applause of others."  One Day at a Time (p. 21)

"I could never tell the difference between what was and was not my business. I felt I had to take care of everyone around me until I couldn't stand it any more."  Courage to Change (p. 21)

January 20th - Do I unconsciously hurt myself?

The story...

I was driving home from work and saw a boy crash rather badly on the sidewalk.  I felt a strong need to stop and help him yet I didn't.  Strangely, my conscience stung and my inner-man hurt by not coming to the aide of another person who was hurting.  In what other ways might I be unconsciously hurting myself?  

When I obsessively think - I hurt myself.   When I neglect to do or say what's on my heart to another person - I hurt myself.  When I'm so comfortable with what I already know or believe to the point of no longer being curious - I hurt myself.  When I ignore a person who looks my way - I hurt myself.  When I stay in my La-Z-Boy recliner instead of going and doing - I hurt myself.  When I don't listen to understand those who might help my physical or mental health - I hurt myself.  When I develop routines and a schedule that doesn't allow for me to care for others  - I hurt myself.  When I neglect relationships - I hurt myself.  When I ask for seconds on a food serving that'll likely contribute to poorer health - I hurt myself.  When I'm not thankful and content - I hurt myself.  When I don't love me or my neighbor - I hurt myself.  When I'm not quiet and listening within my relationship with God in Christ - I hurt myself.  When I'm not truthful about me - I hurt myself.

So, why do I hurt myself?  It's likely that the cause has something to do with my being a self centered pleasure seeker by nature.  Yes, I hurt myself when I indulge in my self-focus promotion and selfishness.  The only church in town will share God's solution that promises real freedom from the tyrannical leadership of self - they call it the Gospel truth.  

Just for today...

"I cannot hurt others without hurting myself."  One Day at a Time (p. 20)

"Anger is the punishment we give ourselves for someone else’s mistake.”  Unknown

"It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery."  Galatians 5:1 (NASB)

January 19th - Virtual bars of guilt and shame

The story...

When I was little guy hanging onto my mother's dress in the grocery store, I was tempted to take a piece of penny candy from one of those huge bins.  One day I made the decision, let go of my momma's dress, looked around, picked up the candy, stuffed it in my pocket, and sweated through the long checkout line.  This is the first deliberate sin that I remember.  I felt guilt and shame - it certainly didn't end there.

Where's the record of the good and bad that I'm responsible for?  God is all knowing; the government keeps a record; the old performance reviews are archived or trashed; some people have a fuzzy sense of opinion along with memories of a few critical incidents; yet, most of it remains within my own psyche.  Some memories might trigger needed forgiveness and restoration; yet, most of them are self imposed guilt and shame that's rotting somewhere within the back of my mind.  Might the joke be on us for holding on, suppressing, reinterpreting, or periodically magnifying the bad parts of us?

The only church in town will preach and teach that sin is no insignificant matter to God.  In fact, He says we can't have a right relationship with Him due to that sin.  Worse yet, there is nothing we can do about it - we were born that way.  We must be reborn spiritually. The "Good News" is that God provided The Way to be restored both for this life and for all eternity too - true freedom for us as we are.  He did the heavy lifting - we need to believe, trust Him, and live the truly good life.

Just for today...

"I used to live in my own little prison, locked in by my feelings of hatred and shame. Now I'm free."  Hope for Today (p. 19)

"Today I seek to become a little more accepting of myself, a little more comfortable in my own skin . . . I will remember to be gentle with myself today, trusting that the healing will come." Courage to Change (p. 19)

"Now there was a man of the Pharisees, named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews; this man came to Jesus at night and said to Him, “Rabbi, we know that You have come from God as a teacher; for no one can do these signs that You do unless God is with him.” Jesus responded and said to him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless someone is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.”  John 3:1-3 (NASB)

January 18th - A peaceful life

The story...

Yesterday was an odd day where I had few responsibilities, obligations, pains, or unmet obligations.  The weather was beautiful, the house was warm and I was well fed - I felt loved too.  I guess you could characterize my day as peaceful yet I know that most of the days ahead won't be like that.  Even within those good conditions, I knew that there would be a storm on the horizon.

What are the ingredients of peacefulness?  Maybe I'd be peaceful if: all those within my circle of concern are without need; my favorite sports teams are all successful; the weather is "good;" my investments are valued close to their all-time highs, my health is within the top 10% for my age group; the other government parties don't have too much power; there's nothing I need to fix; my work is admired; people let me know that they love me; and my pastor is what he preaches - an example of imputed righteousness worked out in word and deed.  That ain't all going to happen.  Must we disengage and isolate from the world in order to sense ongoing peacefulness?

The only church in town will share what God revealed to and through the Apostle Paul as he wrote about the actualities of his life from prison.  He enjoyed a gift of peace from the Spirit of God - a sort of peace that permeates your being from a source that is God himself.  The Spirit of God works through those who are righteous in God's sight - a righteousness that only God Himself can provide through Christ.

Praise God, be thankful, walk humbly, love your neighbor as yourself, and live peacefully my friend.  Walking through this life humbly with God, your "Abba," in Christ.

Just for today...

"I had never experienced a peaceful way of life. With myself, I was constantly fighting against the guilt, fear, and anger that ruled my life. With others, I was always fighting for some cause or belief, trying to make them see that my position was the right one. Of course I never won, and the wars never ceased."  Hope for Today (p. 18)

January 17th - Working out life from a new tool box...

 The story...

Long ago over dinner in Bethel Maine, a woman from Xerox gave me advice - it stuck.  I've shared this advice with 100's of people and I don't even remember her name.  Everybody seemed to understand the advice and its application too.  I'd recently been promoted from engineer to engineering manager.  She explained the difference between the two tool boxes that I had at my disposal.  The old set that served me well and the new set that I'd need to better "lead" and "manage" the group.  Surely, it was wise to oil, and occasionally apply, the tools in the old box; yet, the new set must be developed and augmented to leverage the group towards...

I tried leading this group long ago - thank you "Murray House" 

Strangely, I sense a need to cleanup and change the tool box that I've been using for the last ten years.  Here are seven tools that I think I need to add or dust off, oil, and use more frequently:  

• Uber Driving: Help people get where they're going and share life along the way.
• "Bigger" Ears:  Listen to others without opinion or thoughts of fixing, managing, or controlling.
• Get Out the Door: Move from thinking about to doing more readily - take that first step.
• Thankfulness:  Within my prayers, activities, & relationships - on both "Light" & "Dark" days.
• Exercise & Stretch:  Enable my body to go where He and I will to go...
• Invest:  Build up others & thoughtfully transfer what I have to 'em too.
• Keep the End in Mind - Be eternally focused and earthly good too.
• Honest in Self Assessment: Remain humble - focused on the glory of God.

The only church needs you to work out your life with 'em.  You need 'em too even though it may currently be a latent need.  Bring your toolbox and be ready to work out your life with 'em.  Once there, you may find the need to add a tool, pick up an old tool, or replace your tool box with a new one that...

Just for today...

"I will make myself learn to use a new set of tools: tolerance, kindness, patience, courtesy, love and humor - and a firm determination to do what is necessary to improve my life."  One Day at a Time (p. 17)

"I often restrain myself for fear that others will misunderstand and criticize me."  Hope for Today (p. 17)

January 16th - Doing the right thing according to what's right

The story...

The snow was deep, the temperature was cold, and I counted 18 deer outside my house yesterday - I've seen more.  They seem to be eating many plants that they didn't eat in the past - they're hungry.  They're reaching higher on the bushes and even nibbling on the Myrtle ground cover.  I'm told that the neighbor who fed the deer died within the last year.  The person who told me about her death also shared that the DNR notified her that she had to stop feeding them a few months before she died.  

There are many reasons for not feeding the deer and the DNR was right for enforcing the law; yet, the problem remains.  Years ago, I decided to stop getting angry at deer for eating or people for feeding.  Being angry seems to just leave you angry with damage to your heart both literally and figuratively.  Who wants to be an angry man?  I could nag at the authorities, complain along with my neighbors, shoosh the deer away each time they threaten my landscape...   I don't know what's best for the deer over-population situation and don't plan on developing my own personal opinion that I'll defend against all others.  I expect that I do have a responsibility, as a citizen of my Township, to notify the authorities, learn about the available solutions, and find out what deer control plans are underway.  I plan on meeting with them today.

Our neighborhood deer on a better day

I'm glad I took the time to "Think" about the deer problem today.  The course of action that I've decided upon seems reasonable and right according to the principles that I live by - the type that seems to define us.  The only church in town will live by principles revealed within the Word of God - they were established by the One who created the earth, the cold, the deer, and me too.  I plan on living my life out according to those principles alongside my neighbors within the only church in town.

Just for today...

". . .  when my opinion about another person's business has not been requested, I take the time to "Think" before getting involved."  Courage to Change (p. 16)

January 15th - Protecting from bad news by worrying in advance? Really?

The story...

There's a news show on TV and people I care about are watching and kind of listening to it.  The broadcaster is tainting the news coverage in a way that seems partial and unfair to me.  I quickly interrupt the coverage, from another room, to bring attention to the bias so that they won't be misguided and swayed to think like the crowd.  I certainly don't want to have future arguments with them or to "allow" them to live a life clouded with partial truths and popular opinion guiding their thoughts, behaviors, and beliefs.  Might my underlying motive be to push them toward thinking more like me? 

My actions do suggest that they aren't capable of living out, or interpreting, their lives without me.  I expect that they know this and they often hear my interfering voice as a clanging gong or loud droning sound that they wish would respectfully let them be - to think and live on their own.  I might be exaggerating to make the blog more interesting; however, I know it's true and want to change.

Are you trying to get somebody to behave in a way to help you?  If so, that should be a glaring red "stop" light.

Within the only church in town, there'll be popular opinion and campaigns to push congregants to agree with...   A primary function of the church is to clearly preach, teach, and work out the Word of God into the actualities of each person's life.  Other times, there will be "righteous" noises that divide, drive strong emotions, and end up with more guarded, separated, and lonelier people.  When that becomes more the norm, it seems that their ears and hearts won't be as open to receive the Word of God - that'd be tragic.

Just for today...

"I was busy projecting a horrible outcome to my loved one's crisis and dreading the ways in which the consequences might affect me . . . Part of me gambles that by worrying in advance, bad news will be easier to face if it comes.  But worrying will not protect me from the future."  Courage to Change (p. 15)

January 14th - The palette of my psyche focused on the object of my faith...

The story...

The idea for this blog, written for 365 consecutive days, occurred about one year ago today. It "popped" into my psyche as I was driving to church with the woman whom I love.  It also occurred to me that I could do this . . . yes, me.  Writing a chunk of my life story, making sense of it, applying good life principles and practices, and then discussing how they might work their way out within a hypothetical "only church in town." "I've benefited greatly from daily readers. This is a really good idea.  I think I'll recommend this for..."  

Yes, an idea had fully developed into a worthy life-giving and life-altering whole thing within the palette of my psyche.  It appeared to be helpful for both me and those within my circle of concern.  I had the resources and the capability to carry it out - it was clearly doable.  Yet, 365 consecutive days was too much to hope for - surely I would run out of story and find myself staring at a blank screen.  I'm so thankful that I shared my idea with the close friend, who I originally thought might be capable of working out this undertaking, and he encouraged me to get started.  Then, I shared the idea with a group of supporting guys, who I regularly met with, and they also encouraged me to work out this worthy endeavor into reality.  So, I took the first step and began my journey.  I'm so... thankful that my friends encouraged me to make the decision to move forward and take the first step.

Artist's Palette (U.S. National Park Service)

Wow, I wonder what will make its way into these final 17 blog pages?  What if I can't think of something interesting?  What if ...?   Yes, I plan to replace all these "what ifs" that I might conjure up with  "even ifs."   It does take faith to live out that good life that we long for.  Yet, the object of our faith is an important part of our role within this epic story of life that we all share in.

The only church in town will share how God provided a way for His creatures to become right with Himself - our most holy, righteous and loving Father.  Christ, and His great atoning sacrificial work, will be the object of their faith  And, the grace that each receives will be worked out together within each of their pilgrimages toward that celestial city.  

Just for today...

"By letting go of this battle we were sure to lose, we became free." Courage to Change (p. 14)

"If I was hurtful, and I make excuses to myself for what I did, I am building a second wall between me and the person I injured. Let me tear the first wall down by being honest and honestly acknowledging my fault."  One Day at a Time (p. 14)

January 13th - "He wept"

The story...

This year, my best friend and I are studying, a book called "John."  We're studying this book along with a bigger group.  John's the author of the book and arguably, the best friend of the Man he's writing about.  John tells the Man's story in a way that only a best friend, and eye witness, could.  The protagonist of the story's mother was Mary and His father is claimed to be God Himself. Yes, He claimed, and provided evidence, that God was His Father.  The Man John wrote about is referred to by many names; strangely, no one name seems to capture all of who He was and is.  In chapter 11 the Man is walking with His close friends toward a town called Bethany.  He's going to see two sisters and their brother - John says the Man loved the three.  The women's brother died and they were filled with grief.  They believed this Man's father was God himself, and hoped that He would come to heal their brother.  When He witnesses grief emoting from the women, John says "He wept."

Today, I'll be speaking at my mother's memorial service.  No person needs to explain the kind of feeling that He felt when John says "He wept."  I've been weeping, at unexpected times, throughout the last week - I loved my momma so... much.

The only church in town will share how this man, Lazarus, was raised from the dead just a few months before his Savior's blood was shed, body buried, and body resurrected by His own power.   Strangely and wonderfully, scripture confirms that we can be spiritually co-crucified, and co-risen from the dead to live rightly with God, in Christ, now and forever.   Man, that's good news!  Hey, why not read this book of John today?

Today, I stand thankful for my faith in Christ and for the love of my momma.

Just for today...

"Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me."  Revelation 3:20 (NASB)

"Do I secretly relish feeling sorry for myself and want sympathy from others?"  One Day at a Time (p. 13)

"Once upon a time I was afraid to live life for myself. This was because I did not know how to do it and thought that there was no one to show me."  Courage to Change (p. 13)

January 12th - Oh.. to see more clearly - what's going on?

The story...

My mother told me so many stories that motivated me to be more curious, adventurous, and a story teller too.  Last week, we talked about the adventure that she was about to embark on.  She was about to travel from this life to the next - leave this body behind and receive a new one that'll be so... different.  The adventure would be greater than being stuck on the top of a rocket ship that eventually would land her on the moon.  Her eyes displayed wonder and her smile seemed to display hope and joy.  My momma went on that adventure six days ago   Wow . . . she knows the rest of the story.

SpaceX - Falcon 9 rocket

I expect that it'd disrupt this life, and take away some of the important experiences and meaning, if we knew what was going to happen today, tomorrow, and during the years we have left on this orb.  I wonder how important our life on this earth will be for the eternity to come?  I'm glad my momma passed on a curious nature to me. 

The only church in town will share what God's revealed about the future - enough to give us hope while living out our part in this epic story of life.  Yet, He doesn't reveal everything.  He says He wants us to live rightly and close to Him as we work out this life trusting in what He's revealed - walking through each day by faith in "That Than Which There is No Greater."

How about living for today, planning for tomorrow, and thinking on eternity already?  Oh . . . that we would read, ponder, share, and wonder while living out a purposeful life together praising God. 

Just for today...

"I ask God to make me willing to see clearly my everyday experiences, to sharpen my perception of how much there is to enjoy, even in ordinary things and happenings. Let me be receptive. Restore to me my capacity for wonder."  One Day at a Time (p. 12)

"The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us..."  Deuteronomy 29:29 (NASB)